05x21 - The Case of the Missing Blonde

[bunniefuu]

( Theme song playing )

♪ Come and knock on our door ♪

♪ Come and knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waiting for you ♪

♪ We've been waiting for you ♪

♪ Where the kisses are
hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three is company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three is company too. ♪

Boy, jack, I sure
am glad... Shh!

You'll wake up cindy.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Good night. I'm going to bed.

- Wait, janet! Wait a minute.
- What, honey?

Aren't you gonna thank me
for taking you to the movies?

I paid.

Yeah, but I carried the popcorn.

And then you ate it all.

Well, I couldn't help it.

That steamy love
scene made me hungry.

All that kissing and
heavy breathing...

What love scene? We
saw a m*rder mystery.

I'm talking about the
couple sitting in front of us.

Oh, jack, please,
stop fooling around.

That movie really
gave me the creeps.

I'm sorry. Hey, janet, did
the mail ever come today?

Yes, but your check didn't come.
All we got was the phone bill.

It's right over
there by the phone.

Jack, don't forget to put that ice cream
in the freezer. It'll melt. Good night.

Good night.

Hey, jack, come here quick!

Shh, you'll wake up cindy.

No, I won't. She's not here.

You mean, we're all alone,
just the two of us? Hurt me.

Oh, jack, ohh!

I mean, she's not
in her bed, jack.

It hasn't been slept
in. It's still made.

Not to worry. She
probably just went out.

Yeah, but cindy woulda
left us a note, jack.

Cindy's like that. She
would leave a note.

Look, there's no
note. There's no note!

Janet, would you take
it easy? Cindy's a big girl.

She can take care
of herself... ( Shouts )

Which is more than
I can say for you.

( Groans ) when will
you girls learn

To stop leaving your
things lying around?

I almost broke my
neck on your heel.

- That's not my heel.
- Well, it's not mine.

Then it must be
cindy's. Oh, my god.

Oh, my god, do you know
what this means, jack?

Yeah, wherever cindy is,
she's probably walking around

With one leg shorter
than the other.

How could you possibly
joke at a time like this,

When cindy's been kidnapped?!

Pardon me?

Don't you see? Oh,
men are so dumb!

This heel was broken
off of cindy's shoe

When she was struggling
with an intruder

Who broke in here
and kidnapped her.

Janet, I think your
brain has been kidnapped.

You know, what
probably happened was,

Cindy wanted some warm
milk to help her sleep.

We don't have any milk, so she went
to the store to buy some. That makes...

- ( Doorbell rings )
- that's probably her now.

You kids know what time it is?

12:45, Thank you.

( Knocking at door )

12:46.

This is no laughing matter.

This is the second time tonight
you woke me up with your noise,

And I'm not gonna
tell you again!

Good.

Get in here!

Mr. Furley, what do you mean, "the
second time"? When was the first time?

- A couple hours ago.
- We were at the movies
a couple hours ago.

Well, somebody was up
here makin' a heck of a racket,

Like they were
jumpin' up and down...

Woke me up out of a sound sleep.

Well, that musta been cindy.

Well, she could've at least
shown me the courtesy

Of opening the door
when I came up to complain.

Well, maybe she'd already gone
out by the time you got up here.

Yeah, or maybe someone
had their hand clamped

Over her mouth so she
couldn't call out for help

Before he gagged her and
dragged her off to god knows where!

What're you talking about?
What's she talking about?

She's still thinking about
that m*rder we saw tonight.

m*rder? What m*rder?

In the movie, the movie.
Relax, a film, movies.

- Mr. Furley, cindy is gone.
- Where'd she go?

I don't know... She's not in
her room, she's not in her bed.

Well, maybe she went
down to the regal beagle.

Of cour... That's it, the
regal beagle. That's where...

And tonight is their
annual adam and eve night.

Adam and eve?

Yeah, every guy there
gets paired off with a girl,

And they go off and
raise a little cain. ( Laughing )

You mean, if they're able.

- Cain and able?
- Yeah, I got that.

- Cain and able.
- Right.

Darn it! The line's busy.

Well, I suppose I could
mosey on down to the beagle,

And check it out for ya.

Who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky.

- And find cindy!
- Hmm? Oh, yeah, that, too.

- And you call us the minute
you get down there.
- Okay, okay!

Oh, jack, what're we gonna do?

Janet, you know the
first thing you oughta do?

- What?
- Stop pacing. It's making me nervous.

- Sorry, jack.
- It's all right.

- What's taking him so long?
- Who?

Mr. Furley!

Janet, the man has only
been gone 10 seconds.

- Would you cool it?
- ( Knocking at door )

Thank god. Cindy!

Oh, it's just you.

Janet, you're never gonna get
a job with the welcome wagon.

Don't pay any attention to
her. It's nervous time over here.

Cindy is missing.

Yes, furley just told
me. What's the story?

An empty bed, a
broken heel, no note,

People jumping up and down,
and nobody answering that door.

- You get the picture?
- Yeah, but it's a little
out of focus.

Do you wanna help
us or not, larry?

All right. Calm down, janet.

Look, maybe she just took
a walk along the beach.

That... Hey, of course.

You know how much cindy likes to
walk along the beach. Thanks, larry.

It is a little silly, walking
along the beach this time of night.

- Larry...
- No, I mean, it is high tide.

The waves are over 10 feet high.
You could be swept out to sea.

Thanks for stopping
by. You must be tired.

You know, there's no moon.
Terribly dark out there.

Paradise for muggers.
Creep up on you...

I don't wanna hear any more!

Larry, I don't know how
we'd get by without you.

- In that case, I'd better stay.
- Oh, good.

- ( Screams )
- ( shrieks )

So, how's business?

Oh, it's slow. Nobody's tried to
pick me up or take me home with 'em.

I don't know. Maybe
it's this dress.

No, you look great.

Hey, you are the best-lookin'
undercover cop on the vice squad.

You think it's too late
to get something to eat?

I'll go to the
kitchen and check.

I'll be right back.

Hi.

Hi.

You lookin' for someone?

Yeah, I'm looki" for a girl.

Oh, that's interesting.

Any special kind of girl?

As a matter of fact,
yes, I am... A blond,

About your size,
nice complexion,

Pretty blue eyes. ( Laughs )

Well, what I mean is...

Oh, a tall blond
with, uh, blue eyes.

Yeah, you think
you could help me?

Mmm, maybe.

Geez, that'd be great.
I'd be ever so grateful.

How grateful?

Huh?

Well, I'm a working
girl, and time is money.

Money is no object.

Here, how does $3 sound?

It must be the dress.

Either that or you're the
cheapest john I've ever busted.

Busted?

You're under arrest
for solicitation.

Oh, you mean you're...

- Come on, come on.
- Damn it!

Well, any luck?

Nah, the line at the
beagle is still busy.

Why doesn't mr. Furley call us?

Don't worry, janet.
Mr. Furley will find cindy, okay?

Well, who's gonna
find mr. Furley?

All right, I'll tell
you what I'm gonna do.

I'll go to the beagle and
see what's takin' him so long.

Lar, lar, listen, pal.

I don't know how long I can
keep janet from going bananas.

So call us in 10 minutes,
whether you find him or not.

- Okay, no problem.
- Thanks.

Boy, jack, this is really
turning into a nightmare.

First we come home,
and we find cindy missing.

Then mr. Furley goes out to
find her, and he never comes back.

I don't know about you, but
I think it's pretty strange,

The way people are
disappearing around here.

Don't you think so, jack?

Jack? Oh, jack! ( Screams )

Oh, don't you
ever do that again!

I won't, I won't. What did I do?

There's only one thing
left for us to do, jack.

- We've got to call the police.
- We're not calling the police.

Now you sit down
here and calm yourself.

- I can't.
- Look, look, janet...

We've got to do something that
will take our minds off cindy, okay?

Okay, um, um...

Let's straighten up the room.

Straighten up the
room? No, it's cindy's turn.

That's a good idea. Let's
straighten up the room, okay?

- I'll do the couch. Okay.
- All right.

- Janet?
- Mm-hmm?

Please tell me you've
started smoking cigars.

I don't smoke cigars, jack.

That's what I was
afraid of, janet. Hmm?

A cigar-smoking stranger
broke into the apartment.

And wrestled poor
cindy to the floor.

Breaking the heel off her shoe.

Before he carried her,
screaming, off into the night.

Both: call the police! Help!

Hello!

Hello, police? Yes, I'd like
to report a missing person.

Her name is cindy
snow, and... And...

No, she's only been
gone a few hours, but...

Uh, well, I don't know exactly.

No, she's... She's
older than that.

What?

Oh, oh, I didn't know that.

Uh, okay. Yeah, bye.

What did they say?

Well, they said they don't
consider a person missing

Until they've been
gone 24 hours,

Unless they're 11
years old or younger.

You dummy, why didn't
you lie about her age?

- Hey, mike...
- Sorry, larry, we're closed.

That's okay. I'm
lookin' for mr. Furley.

Furley? He hasn't
been in tonight.

- Are you sure?
- I'm positive.

The way he dresses,
I couldn't miss him.

That's odd. How about cindy?

I know she hasn't been in, because
I saw her on my dinner break.

You did? Where? When?

A couple hours ago. She was
gettin' in to some guy's car.

- Whose?
- I don't know. Some older guy.

- What did he look like?
- Well, he was a big guy.

He had grayish hair, and I think
he was wearin' a hearing aid.

A hearing aid?

You know, I think she was
upset about something,

Because she was cryin'
when she got in the car.

Oh, no, I gotta call jack.
Lemme use your phone.

Oh, sorry, it's out of order.

You have to use the
phone booth outside.

Right.

Uh, you're not
gonna believe this...

Here's a dime.

Right. Put this
on my bill, okay?

Yeah, sure.

( Phone dings )

Hello, jack? It's me, larry.

Listen, somethin'
fishy is goin' on here.

Furley never showed
up at the beagle,

And mike said he saw cindy
being thrown into the car

By some big, mean-lookin',
gray-haired guy

With a hearing aid, and
that's not the worst of it.

She was crying. Huh?

Ja... Jack, I can't hear
you. Can you hear me?

I don't know, must be a bad
connection or somethin'.

Look, I'll call you right back.

( Rattling )

Come on, larry, call back.

What's the matter, jack?

Larry said furley never
made it to the regal beagle.

No! Now he's missing, too.

And mike saw cindy
being thrown into a car

By a tough-looking, gray-haired
creep with a hearing aid.

I told you she was kidnapped!
Did he say anything else?

No, the line went dead.

Oh, my god, they've
got larry, too!

I'm calling the police.

No, you can't call the police.
They said you had to wait 24 hours.

That's only if the
person is missing.

Now wait. Hello, police?

I'd like to report a burglary.

Yeah, somebody stole my roommate,
my landlord, and my neighbor.

Hello?

Hello? They hung up on me.

I'm going to search
for cindy my own self.

No, you're not!

Whenever anyone leaves this
apartment, they don't come back.

On second thought, maybe I'd
better stay with you, all right?

We'll just sit here and
wait for someone to call.

Okay. Oh...

Poor little cindy,

Kidnapped by a sex
maniac with a hearing aid.

Yeah, even if she says
"yes," he won't hear it.

Hello, somebody?

Help!

( Groans )

Hello, officer.
Nice night, isn't it?

For what, vandalism? All right,
now, come on. Get outta there.

- Oh! Get up!
- Mommy?

- Get up!
- No school, right?

Jack, jack, jack,

It's 5:00 in the morning.
We must've fallen asleep.

It's 5:00 in the morning.
We must've fallen asleep.

I know!

Did the phone ring?
No, we would've heard it.

( Both chattering )

- We'll just calm down.
- Just...

I had this dream
about cindy, jack.

I dreamt how much fun it
was having her around here.

Janet, don't worry.
She'll be back.

I was just starting
to get used to her.

You know that cute,
little way she's got

Of bumping into things
and knocking them over?

Especially you.

You know, in a way,
I sorta feel sorry

For the guy who kidnapped her.

I mean, in a way.

I mean, there's... Yah!

- What's this?
- A matchbook.

I know what it is, jack,
but where did it come from?

The blue lanai motel. So what?

Matches, the cigar.

Janet, whoever was here is
staying at the blue lanai motel.

And cindy's probably with him!

We gotta down there right
now. Bring a picture of cindy!

Okay!

Uh, janet, I'll handle
this. Leave it to me.

Okay.

- Oh, good morning.
- Yes, hello.

- I suppose you want a room?
- Pardon me?

- No luggage?
- Lug...

I can't rent you a
room without luggage.

This is a respectable
motel here.

- Just a minute...
- Okay, I'll rent you luggage.

Five dollars a bag. Will
that be cash or credit card?

You don't understand.
We don't want a room.

No, we want to find someone.

It's this girl right
here. Have you seen her?

Maybe.

What do you mean, maybe?
Either you have, or you haven't.

Mister, I'm like a pay phone.

If you wanna get the dial
tone, you've gotta put in a dime.

Well, I don't have any money.

( Sighs ) gadzooks.

- There's $5.
- I've seen this girl.

Who was she with?

Hey, buddy, that's a
long-distance phone call.

Janet.

( Sighs )

She was with a guy
about 50, gray hair,

Wearing a hearing aid.

I knew it! What'd I tell
ya? What room are they in?

Good morning, daddy.

Good morning, daddy.

Good morning, darling,
did you sleep well?

Well, but not long.

That was my fault for keeping
you up most of the night talking.

Oh, but I loved every
minute of it, daddy.

I only wish you were
staying longer than one day.

So do i, but you know
the life of a salesman.

One town one day,
another town the next.

I know, daddy.

Which reminds me, I've
gotta set up my samples.

I've got some
customers coming over.

Oh, well, I'll go shower.

Okay, honey.

- ( Knocking at door )
- who is it?

Jack: uh, room service.
Breakfast is ready.

I didn't call room service.

It's, uh, compliments
of the management.

Oh, he's got a Kn*fe!

( Squeals )

Ahh!

What's going on here?

- All right, all right,
where is she?
- What?

You know who I mean. Where's
cindy? We know she's here.

What?

Don't play dumb with me.
We know you've got her.

My hearing aid... I can't
hear without my hearing aid.

( Shouts ) where is
cindy?! We want her now!

Janet? Jack?

Come on, let's
make a run for it.

Jack, what are you
doin' to my father?

Don't thank me now,
just make... Your father?

This was a huge
misunderstanding.

Look at this, I broke
your hearing aid. Testing!

( Screams )

Give me that.

- Daddy, these are
my roommates.
- Father: oh.

Jack, you better
start explaining.

Cindy, this was a terrible
misunderstanding.

We thought you
had been kidnapped.

Kidnapped? Why?

- Well, there were
all these clues around.
- What clues?

Well, your broken heel, for one.

Well, my father
dropped by unexpectedly,

And I was so excited that I
started jumping up and down.

- And that's when
she broke her heel.
- Yeah.

- What?
- Of course.

Janet, how else would
she break her heel?

I don't get it.

Elementary, my dear janet.

That must've been the
noise that woke up furley.

How come you didn't answer
the door when mr. Furley came up?

Janet, use your head.

They had already left the
apartment by the time he got upstairs.

But we heard that you were
crying when you got in the car.

Janet, janet, janet, wake
up and smell the coffee.

The girl hadn't seen
her father in months.

Those were tears of joy.

No, they weren't. My father told
me that wilbur was really sick.

Or tears of sadness.
That was my second choice.

Who's wilbur?

My basset hound. I've
had him since I was 10.

- Oh, cindy, we're sorry.
- And by then it was very late.

Since there were two beds
here, I asked cindy to stay over.

- It's as simple as that.
- And so I did.

Well, I tried to get janet to
believe something like that.

But would she listen? No!

- Can I ask you guys
one question?
- Janet: yes.

- Jack: sure.
- Why didn't you guys read
the note that I left?

There wasn't any note, cindy.

Yes, there was, I left it right
on the table by the phone.

Come on, cindy,
there was no note.

The only thing on that
table was the phone bill.

I got it right here
in my hip pocket, see?

See?

( Laughs ) isn't that silly?

Excuse me, I've gotta
be moseying along.

Just a minute, jack!

Do you mean you have had that
note in your pocket this whole night?

And you never even
bothered to read it?

- It was a mistake.
- Mistake?!

Mr. Snow, can you
help me out here?

Sorry, can't hear you.

Then I won't say, good-bye.

See you later, cindy. Jack!

Just get off my back.

I can't believe you could
do anything so stupid, jack.

Janet, you started it. Enough's
enough. I wanna go to bed.

- Jack, if you ever...
- Janet, did you find cindy?

Yeah, mr. Furley, and it was
all a big misunderstanding.

She is with her father.

Oh, good, I was really
worried about her.

- We were worried about you. What happened?
- Yeah.

To me?

Actually, I met this lady,

And, uh, well, she
kinda smiled at me,

And, uh, well, one
thing led to another,

And as a matter of fact, I
spent the night at her place.

Mr. Furley, you dog!

Hi, you guys. Did
you find cindy?

Yes, larry, she's
with her father.

( Clears throat ) I gotta go.

Wait, wait, hold it. Did you
tell 'em about last night?

How do you know
about last night?

I was with him.

With the same girl?

No, in the same police station.

He was picked up
for solicitation.

Soliciting? Mr. Furley, you...

Who you gonna believe,
me or a used car salesman?

( All chatting )

Bye-bye, girls. I'm goin'.

Ah, ah, no, wait a minute,
jack. Wait, wait, wait.

Here, you haven't
signed out yet.

- Signed out?
- Mm-hmm.

- Signed out?
- Yes, it's a new
house rule, jack.

From now on, whenever
any one of us leaves,

We write down where we're going.

You've gotta be kidding.

No, that we won't have more
of these terrible mysteries.

Well, look, janet, I
am not signing out.

I'm an adult, and where I'm
going is my own business.

- Jack... Jack...
- You take it.

Janet and I like the idea,
jack, so you're outvoted.

Now write down
where you're going.

Here.

- Okay.
- 'Kay.

- There you go.
- Thanks so much.

- Bye.
- See you later.

- Bye.
- Have a good time.

And where's he going?

"I am going crazy, living
with you two girls."

( Theme music playing )

John ritter: three's company was
videotaped in front of a studio audience.

( Theme music playing )