06x02 - Naked

[bunniefuu]

[Charlie] How's it
going in there?

[Kirsten] Oh, man.

You want me to call
the doctor again?

[toilet flushes]

Here's your aspirin.

Don't let me see you swallow,
I couldn't handle that
right now.

Who was Montezuma, anyway?

And what did I ever do to him?

Still gin rummy?

-[thumping]
-[woman moaning]

Oh, God, here they go again.

Would you turn up
the radio?

How many times
is that today?

I count five.

[woman continues moaning]

Charlie, you're not upset
that we haven't...

You know,
since we've been here?

No, no, not at all.
I'm fine.

'Cause except for your skin
and my stomach and them,

well, I'm having a really
good time here with you.

I know. Me too.

I mean, if all we do this whole
honeymoon is play cards,
I'm still gonna feel--

Don't worry, okay?

That is not gonna happen.

As soon as
the sunburn is gone...

-Thank God.
-Yeah.

I was hoping
you were gonna say that.

I mean, no rush, but hurry.

[loud thumping]

[woman moaning loudly]

[man moaning loudly]

You gonna pick up
that queen or not?

Okay, Sarah,
that was the last time.

No more.
I am so late for work.

I bet I could
change your mind.

Well, don't. Don't.

I've got two busy shifts
to run at the restaurant,

plus AA squeezed
somewhere in between.

So? I've got stuff, too.
Classes, speech team--

Hey, do I look... fresh?

You know, fresh from...

-Fresh?
-Yeah.

I was an hour late
yesterday, too,

and the busboys were all
giving me these way-to-go looks.

-How'd they know?
-I don't know.

I guess I just looked
too happy, I guess.

That's nice.
Don't you think that's nice?

I think...

I think...

Wanna go for a record?

Again? What is wrong
with us, Sarah?

-[loud thumping]
-[Sarah screaming]

Still? What is wrong
with them, Kirsten?

All I can say is...

gin. Am I winning yet?

I've lost count.

[theme song playing]

♪ Everybody wants to live ♪

♪ Like they wanna live ♪

♪ And everybody wants to love ♪

♪ Like they wanna love ♪

♪ Everybody wants to be ♪

♪ Closer to free ♪

♪ Closer to free ♪

"...in witness whereof,
author and publisher

have ex*cuted this agreement
as of the effective date..."

Oh, my God! Julia,
congratulations!

-Oh, this is amazing!
-Now all I have
to do is write it.

Oh, but this isn't, like,
okay, spiral binding.

We are talking
about a real book.

Totally real.
Totally real.

So real there's actually
a publication date,
which was yesterday,

a minimum page count,
and a marketing plan.

Wait, like Oprah and stuff?

I'm gonna have to write
a third of a chapter a day.

Is there gonna be
a movie deal?

Not till I'm finished, Claud.

Well, what about book signings
and stuff like that?

Yeah, all of that stuff,
which is why I really want
you guys to read this proposal.

Because, well, you're both
in it, first of all,

but also because
I need a lot of help.

-Hey, did you get an advance?
-An advance? What's that?

It's money upfront.

I need help not just
figuring out what to say,

but also with the facts,
you know,
stuff that happened,

stuff that I might
have forgotten.

Who do you want
to play you
in the movie version?

-Oh, how about Sarah Michelle?
-She's way overexposed.

Excuse me, you guys are gonna
help me write this, aren't you?

-Sure!
-What about Cameron Diaz?

Mm! But, no,

Julia would have to beef up
the part first.

Oh.

How's the burn?

A little better.
Your stomach?

Eh.

Hey, look.

You think that's them,
the neighbors?

I don't know,
but how many sizes
too small is that Speedo?

What about her?
She's practically
pouring out of that top.

It's more like a string.

Honeymooners, eh?

Um, hi. I'll have
the huevos albanil,
without a tortilla,

And a cup of coffee,
black.

And I'll have
the mango crepes,

with a large OJ.

Oh, will that be good
for my stomach?

No ice.

That is so funny.

I just got
the same exact order

from the couple
at the other table.

Hold the tortilla
and everything.

No, not them,
the other table.

It's their 30th
wedding anniversary.

They've been playing
that card game for hours.
You know...

[both] Gin rummy.

All right. The bed
or the floor?

Wherever. And that's
just for starters.

-Ow!
-Oh, God,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

-Should we maybe wait?
-No!

No, no, we are doing this,
all right?

Just watch the top
of my shoulders,

and the back of my knees
are k*lling me,

-and this spot right here
on my chest--
-Mm-hmm.

So, is Mr. Sanders
still teaching AP Chem

or is he working full-time
on that sweater-vest
collection of his?

What?

Cody, what are you
doing here?

Well, Owsley's playing tonight
at Frets

with Fountains of Wayne.

Cody, we've covered this.

I mean, we broke up.

Yeah, I guess...

No, Cody,
we broke up.
I mean, we did.

I don't know,
I have to get to class.

Wait, can't we just
talk about this?

You know, maybe get
a cup of coffee or something?

Do you think
this is pleasant for me?

I mean, don't you realize
that it hurts me to see you?

Me too, so, why can't we just
try and figure this thing out?

For all the reasons
that I have said.

We're in different
places, Cody.

I mean,
we don't make sense.

Well, I guess
I just don't believe that.

Well, believe it
'cause that's the way it is.

Claudia, please!

Claudia!

[Daphne] This is
your brand-new day-care center.

You know Mommy
hates to leave you,

but, you know, when Dad's away
I can't work the night shift,
so, I've gotta do

that whole supermom
breadwinner thing, you know?

But, hey, if you resent me
for it, I'll just make
a little extra money

and put you
in therapy someday.

I'm just kidding.

You are totally okay
with this, aren't you?

I'm probably just
cramping your style, huh?

Okay, I'm going.

I love you.

Bye.

Sarah, hey, how are you?

Hi.

Hey, I didn't know
you were coming here.

Yeah, I was just on my way
back from class

and I wanted to surprise you.

Well, great, that's great.

I was interrupting something.

I'm sorry. You know what?

Just keep saying
whatever you were saying.

Uh...

Sorry. Idiot. It's private.

The second "A"
is "anonymous", right?

You know what?
I'm just gonna go and I'll--

No, no, hey, no, we're
pretty much finished, right? You bet. So, uh,

good luck with that...
that signature drive.

Sorry?

You know,
the voter registration thing
at your school.

Oh, yeah, thanks.

See ya.

I will never get used to that.

What?

Well, that the people
that you meet with here,

they know so much about me.

Well, you can always
come to a meeting

and get all the dirt on them.

No...

I don't know, I guess
I'm just kind of jealous.

Of what, of this?

Of us sharing stuff here?

Sarah, don't be.

If you heard
some of the stuff

that gets said
in these rooms,
believe me,

you're much better off
not knowing.

Okay, let's move on
to Julia Salinger's outline.

Julia, do you have
anything to say
before hearing comments?

Yeah, actually,
I do. Um...

I'm having trouble
with how to open chapter one.

I was just wondering if you guys
could help me decide.

Is the character sketch
at the end of the outline--

I have a comment.

I want to know why
we're spending time

on a piece with a due date
and a contract

when just yesterday

we said that
result-oriented thinking

is bad for the creative process. [instructor]
Well, uh,

Julia, would you like
to say a word

about how your process
is being affected by a contract

and a looming due date?

Looming. Uh,
right, it is.

Okay, well, I'm just glad
to be at this school

so I don't have to deal
with the pressure alone.

Pressure?
[chuckling]

I'm sorry, uh,
how am I supposed
to comment seriously

on a commercial tell-all
by an author
who's obviously

someone's cynical idea
for a hot jacket cover?

-[instructor] Anders?
-What?

That's a little bit hostile.

Even for you.

Sorry.

[instructor]
Okay, listen, people.

Believe me,

we all don't have
to feel threatened
because Julia's got a book deal.

Lots of people get deals,
advances, contracts

expenses paid, office space,

editors wining and dining us.

And what happens
nine times out of 10?

They back out.

They say,
"Oh, we're sorry,

but it's too minor
for publication."

So...

let's all try
to be adults here, shall we?

And be on
Ms. Salinger's side.

Okay, where were we?

Le Chatelier's principle states

that if a change
of conditions is applied

to a system in equilibrium... [feedback on speakers]

...the equilibrium
position will shift
to reduce the stress

-and a new equilibrium
position will be reached.
-[feedback continues]

What is that?

[Cody on speakers]
Hey, uh, this is for Claudia.

-If she'll listen.
-Oh, my God.

[guitar strumming on speakers]

[singing a romantic song]

Uh, all right, people,
back to your seats.

Claudia?

Salinger?

No way.

[chattering and giggling]

Man, there's more straps
and buttons and snaps
on this thing--

Can you... You know what,
can I ask you a question?

Can you... what?
Can you what?

It's just about
what we said before,
at AA today.

Sarah, can't this wait
till later? Like... after?

When you talk
about us at meetings,

do you tell people
that things are good?

What? What do you mean?

Well, because right now
things seem great.

You know, really,
incredibly great.

Yeah, definitely.

But... sometimes I worry,

how it all happened,

if it was too easy.

You know, I mean,
I said I was mad,
and you said you were sorry,

but other than that,
we haven't really
talked that much.

And we've just sorta done this.

And done it, and done it.

And I am not complaining,
trust me.

It's just that sometimes
I'd like to talk to you.

You know?

You are totally right.

Sometime, we will.

Well, what about now?

Well, except for now.

I can give you
any time but now.

Okay, what's wrong
with now?

Now is busy. Now is bad.

Are you sure later
wouldn't work?

Okay, later is good.

But we'll do it, okay?
I promise.

Yeah, okay. Sounds great.

[Kirsten] I was just...

I was kind of nervous
and stiff.

My... stomach
still kind of hurts.

Plus my sunburn...

Yeah, your sunburn.

That sure didn't help.

And this bed.

the egg crates
kept getting bunched up
under the sheet.

Yeah, but still, I mean,

I wasn't exactly
the long-distance runner

that I've been known to be.

Well, it's been since
before the wedding,

so, you know...

Anyway, at this point,
really, I mean,
what's the difference?

What do you mean?

I mean,
we're married now.

Who cares
if it's not the best sex
every time?

-Even if it's, you know--
-The worst?

Because it's got
to happen sometime.

I mean, when we know
each other this well.

I'm not sure I like
the sound of this.

It's just...

at this point,
how many surprises
can there be?

Kirsten, you're scaring me here.

No, I only mean...

In a way,
it's kind of a relief,
you know?

'Cause we're gonna have sex,
like, a million more times.

A million more times.

You know, so, no pressure.

No pressure.

No. No pressure at all.

Okay, start from
the beginning.

What?

I'm Alexa. Hi.

So, listen--

Yeah, I know. I voted
for you for prom queen.

Oh, okay, thanks. Um--

And class president,
you know.
Sorry you didn't win.

That's great.
But, it's not why I'm here.

Believe it or not,
I guessed that, Alexa.

You're here
to ask me about the song.

So you guessed it.

So, spill.

You know what, Alexa?
I really don't think
it's anyone's business.

It's everyone's business.

He sang the song
to the entire school.

I'm not talking
about it.

Okay?

Okay.

I can accept that.

But if I could just
ask one question?

He cheated on you,
am I right?

-Look, Alexa--
-I know, butt out already.

But... why else would
a guy like him

do something like that?

And why else would
a girl like you

want to keep it a secret?

I'm sorry. Forget it.

I'll leave you alone.

He cheated on me.

You guessed right,
if it makes you feel any better.

[school bell rings]

Now, we are entitled
to all of the editions done,

I want you to make sure
that they are clear
on that, please.

-Hi.
-Hey, Julia.
What can I do for you?

-I have some questions.
-Contract questions?

-Well--
-Lynn, can you take Julia
through the legalese
of her contract, please?

Actually, my questions
are more about writing.

See, I have these anecdotes

about my brothers and me
when we used to play
make believe--

Yeah, Julia--

And there should be
a metaphor there

for the gender traps
that I got caught in--

You know something,
I'm gonna stop you,
all right?

Don't you have some classmates
you can bounce
this stuff off of?

-Quite honestly, no.
-What about at home?

Is there anyone there
who can help you?

Well, if it's which songs
are going to go
on the movie soundtrack.

Really, I need
one or two minutes.

I can't.

You can't?

Well, I'm sorry,
but that's not how it works.

How it works is, I read.

You write, I read.

That's it?
You know, I really thought--

You know, aside from
the time constraints I have,

which are... I have got
11 books in development.

Now, I could never sit down
with all of the writers
and talk to them.

Well, there's also...
a guy like me,

there's a reason
why he edits instead of writes.

Oh, come on, you've done
some fantastic books.

I've trimmed,
I've rearranged, made notes.

You know, the last time
that I actually wrote--

What, a book?
You... you wrote a book.

No, I typed it.

To call it writing...

[intercom beeps]

One second.

Yeah, I'll be right with you.

I'm sorry.
I wish I could help.

Tonight, huh?

Just the end
of the dinner shift,
to close up the place.

So you guys can get
a little alone time.

We've just both been
kind of swamped lately, so...

All right, I'll tell you what.
How about I take
the whole week?

No, Joe. That's...
Just... tonight's plenty.

Oh, you couldn't use
a few extra nights
with your girlfriend

for a little talking...
or whatever?

Well, thanks, Joe,
but that's too much.

I mean, you got a life.
Isn't Frannie expecting you
back in LA?

What?

I kept this quiet
for Charlie's wedding,

but, um...

now what's the point?

What's goin' on, Joe?

[sighs]

Frannie and me,
we're having our problems,

and, uh...

it's nothing you need to know
the whole saga about,

but, uh, basically,
for now,

we're gonna try it apart
for a while.

Wow, Joe.

So, a couple extra nights
when I'm not alone
in my hotel room--

Joe, whatever you need.

Okay? Take the rest
of the week here.

And any other time.
Just come by.

I'd love to have you
around here.

-I really hate dumping this
on you right now.
-Joe, forget it.

I mean, when things
are going so great for you
and your brothers and sisters.

Hey. Don't worry about it.

You know, Snaggles,

a million times today

I wanted to, um...

come down to that silly day care
and play with you, but...

There you go.

...supermom had to be
super seller today, so...

Yeah. I'll get it.

Okay.

So here's our fun plan, okay?

We're gonna play
with all our toys and read lots of books and...

sing songs...

[sniffs]

...as soon as
I change your diaper,

and feed you,

and give you a bath,

and make a few dozen
more cold calls.

-Oh!
-Oh! I'm sorry.

-I'm sorry.
-It was my fault, too.

I don't know
where my head is lately.

I think I can guess.

Anyway...

Was it... horrible,
what he did?

I mean, did you feel
like you had no choice?

Okay, Alexa, listen,
would you please--

'Cause plenty of guys
our age have done that,

and sometimes
they actually learn.

Sometimes they're actually
better boyfriends after.

Oh, my God.

Cameron cheated on you.

That's why you can't
let this go.

I mean, that's it, isn't it?

He... mashed with some chick
at tennis camp.

Whoa, I had no idea.

Well, no.

Because I didn't force him
to sing a song

in front of the entire school.

I never made Cody do that.

You didn't give him
another chance either.

What?

-Well, did you?
-Why do you care so much
what I did?

I don't know.

I just do.

-[man and woman moaning]
-[rhythmic thumping]

Oh, boy.

Everyone, set your watches.

They're having their 8:15.

[Kirsten chuckles]

I have a theory.

I think there's more
than two of them in there.

You think? Really?

How else could they
keep up that pace?

You know what I don't get,
is the physics of it.

It's pretty simple, Charlie.

No, no.
I mean, of the bed.

'Cause the beds in this place,

they're built stronger
than that, so, I mean,

physically, how do they get
the bedposts

to flex like that
to make all that noise?

Well, I don't know. Maybe...

I mean,
if there's something
tied to the posts...

or someone.

What made you think of that?

I don't know.

You came up with that
awfully quick.

Oh... No, I didn't.

And then
you're suddenly acting--

No, I'm not.

What are you...

Kirsten. Come on.

Okay.

Okay. It was...

It was no big deal.

It... it was something
that I... I...

[clears throat]
...tried once or twice.

You never told me this.

Well, it was nothing.
It was just...

it was just something
that this one guy was into.

Which guy?

The one... the one
before you and I got together.

So... what happened? I mean,
you tried it a couple of times
and that was it?

Pretty much.

More or less.

And... what?
It... it wasn't for you?

It was? You liked it?

You did?

[woman] Yes! Yes!

[Sarah] Which is why
if I take it as a minor,

I skip quantitative reasoning,
which, really,
is the one part of philosophy

that I will never get.
But the problem with that is

that my thesis adviser
is Dr. Klant,
and she's fine,

you know,
but she's no Dr. Sylvan.

Dr. Sylvan, the one
with the white Corvette?

And that's just
which major to take.

I mean,
the rest of it,

God, I've been
thinking for years
that I was basically pre-law.

You know? Get out there,
do my public interest stuff,
the activist junk.

but now, I don't know.

I mean, the idea
of that much more school.

Yeah, it's a lot,
but these first two years
went really fast.

But I think
what I'm really saying

is that's why
it never felt right.

The way that you looked at me
after I broke off
the engagement.

Because I've never had
any real plans for my future
that you weren't in.

I've never really had
any plans at all.

So basically, I've been lost.

I'm lost.

Do you see
what I mean?

Bailey?

Yeah, I see.

What?

[sighs]

Nothing. It's just...
when you say
that you feel lost...

I mean, I'm still here. I'm still sitting
right here... Sarah.

God.

I said something
wrong again,

so you're mad
at me now, right?

No.

No. I'm...

-Nothing. I'm--
-Yes, you are.
You're mad at me now.

No, I'm not. Okay?
I'm not. I'm not. No.

All I was saying was...

try not to feel so lost
because I'm still here.

Okay? You know, to...

figure things out with.

You still have me,
you know?

Bailey...

thank you...

for this. I mean for...

talking.

No matter what,
it feels really good
to do this, don't you think?

[doorbell rings]

Cody. Hey.

Hey. Um...
is Claud here?

I thought she'd be home by now.

No. I'm sorry. She's not.

Um... can I come in
and write her a note, then?

It'll just take a sec.

Cody... no.

Oh. She told you
what happened, huh?

Not all of it, no, but...

Look, we were having
these problems, you know?

Or I was.

This stuff about
where we were at together.

What felt right.

And I should have...

I should have just
brought it up.

But, instead...

I got all
bent out of shape.

And now when
I want to talk about it,
it's like it's too late.

It just makes things worse.

You know
what I'm saying?

I do.

So...

then what am I
supposed to do now?

You know what, man?
I wish I knew.

Hah!

I knocked you
out of the box.

I bet you didn't think
I had it in me, huh?

Can I just ask you
one question?

Why... why didn't you
tell me?

Tell you what?

The...

The bed thing.
The getting tied up thing.

Oh... that.

Are you still stuck on that?

Yeah. Yeah, because
I remember you asking me.

Okay? Five years ago
when we first got together,

you asked me.

And I said no,
that I'd never done that.

And you laughed
and said, you know,

"Sex Charlie Salinger
hasn't had?"

So I asked you, and you said
that you hadn't either.

-Are you gonna
take your sh*t?
-No. No.

Answer the question.

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know.
Maybe I was embarrassed.

I don't think so.

I mean, why would you ask me
back then?

The reason you'd ask is...

is that you hoped that
I'd say yes

so that we could...

try it together, you and me.

Charlie... what is
the big deal if I--

I don't care
that you got tied up, okay?

I don't even care
if you liked it.
I care about now.

If there's stuff
that you want to be doing
that we're not--

I love the sex
that we have, Charlie.

Yeah, but it...
it could be better.

You've had better.

No, I haven't.

Different, maybe,
but not better.

-Oh! Terrific. That's great.
-What? What?

Oh, listen to you.
You're sparing my feelings.

Which means you admit it.

There's stuff that
you're missing. There's stuff
that you wish we were doing.

Charlie, stop.

You want me to stop,
I'll stop.

But... a million more times
we'll have sex

that could have been better.

If you'd only said
what you wanted.

Cody.

Oh, please. I mean...

I begged you not to do this.

Look, you're just...

You're still mad at me,
Claud, but, um...

I know that'll pass.

Maybe it will,
but the rest of it won't.

I mean, don't you understand?
I have told you that it's over.

Look, I'm not gonna
just give up, okay?
I can't do that.

Actually, I'm pretty sure
you are.

Do you mind? We're having
a conversation here.

Is that what this is?

Where she keeps saying
the same thing
and you don't listen?

Who are you? Who is she?

I am just an observer
who can't help seeing
this girl is done with you.

Claud, can we do this
somewhere else, please?

I wish I was
half as bad as her,

and she drew the line.
She said no,

like, half a trillion times.

-Lex, you think we could
just leave this to them?
-You shut up, Cameron.

[Cody] Claud, is that
what you think?

I mean, is this cheerleader
speaking for you?

I guess she is.

Come on. Look, I'm just trying
to reach you here.

I think it's time
for you to leave, Cody.

Hear me out, okay?
I mean, for 15 seconds. Please.

I said, leave.

Samantha? No.

Is it gonna be... [gasps]
Diana? No.

Is it gonna be...

Um...

Mr. Burbeck?

Kids,

Mr. Burbeck, my boss,
says beep to the monkeymobile.

Miss Jablonsky.

I'm sorry. I was just...
I was just taking
a tiny, little break.

Uh, actually,
it's not that tiny,
but... you know, yesterday,

I just missed the whole day
with my daughter.
Actually, have you met
my darling little girl--

Daphne.

It's just...

it's hard knowing that
she's down here all day.

But you know.
You understand me
'cause you have kids.

I mean, don't you want
to spend every single minute
with them?

Isn't it almost enough
to make you not want to work?

Well, now that
you bring it up...

Wait.

-Are you saying that I--
-Look, I'm awfully sorry,
Daphne.

But... but, Mr. Burbeck,
this isn't--

Feel free to stay down here
as long as you like.

Hey. How's it going?

Just like
Shakespeare in Love, huh?

The life of a writer.

Your muse
has abandoned you.

You're blocked.

Quill pen's broken.

You look like
you're going to cry.

Not about to.
I already have been.

Oh, Julia.
What's wrong?

I'm just... I'm, um...

stuck.

I don't know what to say.

But, wait. Isn't it just...

I mean, it's a memoir, right?

Doesn't that mean
you just write what happened?

But it's... it's not
just what happened.

It's what it all means.
It's what did I learn
from all of this?

Okay. So what did you?

Well, I know
all the obvious things.

That stuff I know.
But that's not enough.
If this book
is even worth writing,

I have to be able
to say something new.

What did your editor say?

He says, "Figure it out."
He says, "You're the writer."

That's... that's pretty sucky.

He's right.
I shouldn't need anyone's help.

If I'm really a writer,

I should have something to say.

I mean,
that's what makes a writer.

Wait a sec.

You're saying you're not
a real writer
if you need help.

Basically.

That's the big lesson you got?

All of this with Ned?

That you're not
who you should be
until... until what?

Till you don't need
anyone else?

That's... that's really sad.

That's like saying
don't even try.

That... you're better off
being alone.

Just a sec.
We used to keep the bitters
right down here, but...

Look behind you,
up top.

Oh, thanks. Hey.

What are you doing here?

Nothing.

Just looking over
some receipts.

I thought this was
your night with Sarah.

That was last night.

Last night, tonight.
I thought you were
taking a week.

It's okay, Joe.
I got this work to do.

What work?
Don't you trust me here?

Joe, I trust you.
I trust you.

Then what are you doing coming
in here at 9:00 at night?

Look, look,
just leave it alone.

Please, will you?

Joe, I'm sorry.

It's just...

Things are not quite
as smooth as they look
between me and Sarah.

-They're not?
-No. They're not.

There's... there's...

stuff in the air
between us,

and I don't know,
sometimes it's easier
not to be with her.

Okay, so, uh, this problem,

you're solving this
by coming in here
and talking to me.

It's not a thing
that I can help by talking.

No, there's nothing
you can't help by talking

and nothing you can't
make worse by clamming up.

You don't know
the situation.

-I don't have to know
the situation, Bailey.
-Look...

I'm trapped, okay?

Because if I let her know

how bad I'm still feeling,

then she's gonna
start to feel bad, too,

and she'll resent me
for making her feel that way,

and she'll be right.

Because she's allowed
not to know
what she wants for us, Joe.

And aren't you allowed
not to like that?

No. No, I'm not.

That doesn't make any sense.

Joe, we're okay now.

Because she doesn't know
how I feel,

but as soon as she does,
as soon as she knows
how I feel,

then we're right back
to where we were
for the past four months,

and... I really
don't want that.

Okay, well,
then listen, Bailey.

This is your life, and, uh,

I'm certainly
not in any position

to say how
relationships work,

but I know how they don't.

And what I'm seeing here...

this... if this is your idea
of "okay"...

then I guess you're right. Don't say a word.

Hey.

Where you been?

Last day here,
I figured I'd spend
my pesos downstairs.

I found this great boutique

with all kinds
of cheap fabrics and silks.

Like this scarf.

And this one.

Amazingly cheap.

You could almost just...

use them and then...

throw them away.

They're really soft.

They wouldn't chafe you
at all,

let's say, on your...
neck or your... wrists.

My wrists.

That was my thought.

Or would you rather
play cards?

[Alexa] Salinger!

Hey!

Don't say hi or anything.

I didn't see you.

Look...

I'm... I'm sorry

about that fight yesterday.

I didn't belong there
butting in, and...

you didn't need my help.

Are you kidding?

No, you...

I mean...

thank you.

So, you got time to say hi
to some people?

My friends have been
dying to meet you.

Your friends...

meet me?

Come on.

Hey, you guys.

This is Claudia.

You know,
like the song.

The next job,
it's gonna be great.

It's gonna pay
really good.

It's gonna have short hours, and for day care,

they're just...
they're gonna let you sit

in your not-so-supermom's lap.

[gurgles]

Yeah, I know.
I'm dreaming.

I'll start looking
for something real tomorrow.

Hey, what's the rush, right?

The next day's
just as good.

'Cause jobs are like
people you meet.

The best ones come
when you're not lookin'.

Like you and me.

I checked with Claire.
Your schedule's free
for the next 40 minutes.

-Excuse me?
-So let's not waste
any time.

I brought you a copy
of the first chapter--

-You know, this really isn't--
-It's incredibly rough,
but it gives the basic idea.

I explained how I work
to you, Julia.

I know.

I know, but...

I'm not your typical author.

I'm 20 years old.
I have never done this before.

So... so you basically
have two choices.

One is I write this alone,

and the book that you get
by the deadline,
it's not very special.

It's okay. It makes sense,
but the book-buying public,
they yawn and move on.

Number two
is that you help me.

-I told you, I'm very sorry--
-You don't have to write it.
I'm not saying that.

You just...
you have to... listen.

I'll talk and you listen.

I'll throw some stuff out,
and you just say what you think
off the top of your head.

You just... you edit me...
Evan. I know you can do that.

-Julia--
-Listen, when you
gave me this book,

you said you wanted
to understand.

You wanted someone
to explain to you
how what happened to me
could possibly happen.

Well, I don't...
I don't have that answer...

yet.

But I bet I could find it
if someone would help.

40 minutes. Let's see it.

-Do you have
a spare outline for me?
-Uh-huh.

[Kirsten] I hope
you didn't think I was wimpy
using those slip knots.

No, not at all.

Your point was well taken,
I think. Fire safety.

So it was okay, then? Are you kidding me?

The best.

Really? The best?

Like in the absolute best?

Well...

no, that still belongs
to that night...

the last time
we got back together.

You think so? Wow.

Kind of makes me want
to spill all my secrets.

No. Don't do that.

Surprise me. [footsteps approaching]

Hey.

Hey, I'm really glad
you're here.

Yeah.

Hey. Listen, you got a minute?
'Cause there's a couple
of things--

You know how the funniest things
can make you feel really horny?

-I'm sorry?
-Like the backside
of certain convertibles

or... a funny-shaped pretzel?

Yeah, I guess so, but,
look, before you get into that--

Well, today
in my Bioethics class,

somebody used
the word "checkup."

Which automatically made me
think about hospital gowns.

You know,
those open-backed things?

Which then led me
to your little pink butt.

Man, I had to leave the room.

Wow.

You know,
I don't mean to be pushy,

my sweet, but...

could you kindly strip?