04x02 - Dream a Little Dreama Me

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch". Aired: September 27, 1996 – April 24, 2003.*
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Based off the comic book series, Sabrina a magical witch and her black talking cat Salem navigate the teenage years together.
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04x02 - Dream a Little Dreama Me

Post by bunniefuu »

[CHIMING & HOOTING]

Thirteen o'clock? I'm late.

Aunt Zelda? Aunt Zelda.

Oh.

Sorry. Why the Pod of Privacy?

Because that stupid clock of Hilda's
is driving me--

[CLOCK CHIMES & HOOTS]

Exactly.

Hilda is pretending that piece of junk
doesn't bother her,

but this is one girl
who can out-pretend her.

Oh, so you two have finally outgrown
staring contests.

[CLOCK CHIMING & HOOTING]

I knew that noise would get to you.
Blow it up, baby.

Bad audition?

My life needs a new direction.

I'm only years old.
I need something more stimulating.

Well, if you've grown tired of the violin,
a career change is a good idea.

Let me offer you a suggestion.

[CLOCK CHIMING & HOOTING]

Fix that infernal clock.

Zelda, face it.
You are the only one that it bothers.

[CHIMING & HOOTING
BECOMES DISTORTED]

Salem, did you break my brand-new,

handmade-in-Indonesia
Swiss cuckoo clock?

Cuckoo. Pff.

Oh, another protest?

Good grief, you stage one little rally
against mildew in the locker room,

and suddenly you're Che Guevara.

"Westbridge through the years."

Well, clearly, very little has happened
in Westbridge through the years.

It's not finished yet.

I wanna be editor of the yearbook
and this is my audition page.

A little maternal oohing and aahing
might be appropriate now.

Sabrina, it might not be a good idea

to take on too many extra activities
this year.

Don't worry, Aunt Zelda.

I've taken on a new can-do attitude
for my senior year.

Well, that's good,
because this arrived

from the Witches' Council
this morning.

I've been chosen
to mentor a witch student this year?

Yes, you have to guide and teach
so they can get their witch's licence.

- I have to be somebody's quizmaster?
- No, mentor.

- What's the difference?
- Quizmasters get paid.

Fine.

I can help mould and shape
someone's young mind

and make them get me coffee.

- I like it.
- I'm off to the clock shop.

God, she really loves
that clock, huh?

I know. Sad.

What are you protesting?

Not another protest, Miss Spellman.

If we were in China,
I could run you over with a t*nk.

This isn't a protest.

It's my audition page
for yearbook editor.

See, "Westbridge through the years."

I'm gonna put pictures
of past yearbooks here.

The theme of the yearbook
is the same every year.

It is a bound chronicle of the misery
that I've been put through

during the previous nine months.

Okay, now I'm protesting.

Mr. Garcia, get the water hose.

Mr. Kraft, I know this may strike you
as a walk on the wild side,

but how about giving me
a little support?

Well, since I'm the head
of the faculty committee

that selects the yearbook editor,
you'll need it.

Okay, somewhere along the way,
this conversation went terribly wrong.

I live for days like this.

- Oh!
- Oh.

Excuse me.

Did you write me the letter of
recommendation for yearbook editor?

Okay, here's the question.

New NFL franchise,
who do you pick?

- Barry Sanders.
- You're brain-dead.

Hello? Letter of recommendation?

I'm sorry, Sabrina.
Last night kind of got away from me.

We're starting
a new fantasy football league.

And I can't tell you how excited I am.
I need the letter.

- I'll get right on it.
- Thanks.

With that and Mr. Kraft's sudden death
due to smallpox,

I might make editor.

No!

Sorry.

You should be more careful.

I'm Dreama.

[BELL RINGS]

And I'm late.

Good luck with whatever
you're protesting. Power to the people.

You know, I love the violin.

But you can only play
so much Mozart

until you start to be glad
he d*ed young.

Travel clock, on the house.

So now I wanna do something bolder,
more imaginative, more challenging.

- Wanna buy this place?
- Really?

Sure.

Wow, I never really imagined myself
as a merchant.

Could I interest you
in an alarm clock?

By golly, I'll do it.

Hey, where are you going?

I'm gonna buy a bar.

Talk about impulsive.

Hey, did you write that letter
of recommendation at lunch?

I ate lunch at lunch.

To tell you the truth,
the thought of writing it

is giving me a knot in my stomach.

That's just the fish cakes.
Don't worry, it's just a little letter.

Nothing to feel pressured about.
I need it by tomorrow or all is lost.

Hi there. Remember me?

I'm having flashbacks as we speak.

Okay.

What is the integral
of the sine function

of minus pi to pi, anyone?

Ooh! Zero
because sine is an odd function

and the negative area
cancels out the positive area.

Sabrina,
could you get yourself organised

so you can participate
in the class, please?

Yes, sir.

ZELDA: You what?
- I bought a clock shop.

- Which clock shop?
- The one down by the market.

That shop? It's in a terrible location.

No, it's not.
It took me five minutes to find.

In the last two years, that same spot
has been a karate school,

a nail salon, a yogurt shop, another
nail salon, a Chinese restaurant,

and a combination Chinese restaurant
and nail salon.

So, what you're saying is,
if things go well,

I could sublet to a psychic.

Hilda, all those shops failed.

Well, mine isn't going to fail.

Mine is going to be a gigantic,
colossal success.

I am going to be the Rolex
of the clock world.

You don't know the first thing
about clocks.

I know tons about clocks.

- What time is it?
- Eight-forty.

It's after .

All right, so I put my watch on
upside down, okay?

And it's : somewhere.

- Hi there.
- Hi back.

[FABRIC TEARS]

I've had days like that.

You are a day like that.

- What was that?
- Oh, a stomach rumble.

I had the fish cakes.

Oh, no, no, no,
don't get interested in her, son.

That girl is poison.

Yeah, there is something strange
about her, isn't there?

Something weird.

Hey, you know, I like you, boy.

You know the best way to fit into
a new school

other than just being, you know,
Danno to my McGarrett?

Extracurricular activities.
And just at the moment,

we are desperate to find a new editor
for our yearbook.

Oh, well, I might be interested
in a job like that.

Oh, that's great.

Fine. Put the new kid
in charge of our memories.

Harvey's gonna bring
his parents' old yearbooks.

I'm gonna put pictures
of old Westbridge students.

And these pictures are being brought
by the same Harvey

who can't remember to write a letter.

This editor thing is important to me.

So would you put a sock in it,
Sergeant Negative?

Aye, aye, Captain Deluded.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hey, maybe that's my witch student.

[SALEM LAUGHING]

You're gonna teach some poor kid
how to do ma--

I think it's marvellous.

Sabrina, your witch student is here.

SABRINA:
Coming.

Don't get smart with me, mister.

Just practising.

It's a girl.

Oh, good
because fish are so hard to train.

She's in there.

- Dreama? You're my student?
- And you're my teacher?

This is incredible. I'm so lucky.

[SHATTERS]

Can I please go back to working
on the family secret?

I got you a present.

Oh, dear,
that was supposed to be flowers.

That's okay. We don't have a vase.

Dreama's parents moved her here
from the Other Realm

so that you could help her.

She's a very bright girl,
but she's neglected her magic.

Great.

Aunt Zelda, can I speak to you
in private for a moment?

Remember my "can-do" attitude?
Gone. She's a walking disaster.

Witches' Council has
to pull another name out of the hat.

Dreama wasn't chosen for you
at random.

Her name came from an intricately
constructed, scientific hat.

[MAGIC CHIMES]

I can't work with her.
Can't you see? She'll k*ll me.

Sabrina, it's a mandate
from the Other Realm.

You have to improve
Dreama's magic

or you'll lose your witch's licence
and be deported.

It's something new and horrible
every day, isn't it?

The Mortal Realm is so different
from the Other Realm.

- I hope I can fit in.
- There are things to remember:

One, I worked very hard
to get my witch's licence.

Two, it means a lot to me.

Three, I have a hard time covering
my own tracks, let alone yours.

Four or five, or wherever I am,
no magic in front of mortals.

Okay, got it.

Hey, I don't care
what you did at your old school.

Here, we do not celebrate
Firecracker Tuesday.

So you meant magic of any sort?

Harvey. Hey, did you bring
the old yearbooks?

Uh-oh.

- Well, did you at least write the letter?
- Oh, man.

Brad came over and we rated
every defensive back in the NFL.

Salem was right.

- Your cat?
- Don't change the subject.

I'll get the books at lunch, I promise.

At least I know that
if Harvey was out with Brad last night,

Brad couldn't have worked
on his yearbook proposal.

Mr. Alcerro,
now this is what I call a proposal.

- I'll say, whose is--?
- Nice work, Bradley.

Yes, you know, it's reassuring to see
that some students

can get their proposals in on time.

If I were you, I would start
sharpening my editor's pencil.

[PHONE RINGS]

- Hello?
HILDA: Hi.

So I was wondering, are you ever
gonna come down to my shop?

In other words,
you're in way over your head

and you need me to come
down there and rescue you.

Something vaguely like that.

[YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

So we're not supposed
to use our magic to do schoolwork

even though you're a witch?

Hey, I thought
we promised Dr. Fishman

we weren't gonna name-call.

Here's another rule you need
to know if you're gonna survive:

Never let a mortal
know you're a witch.

Okay. But who's Dr. Fishman?

Yeah, this is a nice proposal.

I wish Brad
would move back to Texas.

I'm assuming you meant
to send Brad to Texas.

Well, while we're here,
you wanna rustle up some grub?

Where did you come from?

I really think you need to have
that conversation with your parents.

What did I say about magic
in front of mortals,

especially bad magic?

I'm sorry. I've been doing this
all my life. I pull before I think.

[BELL RINGS]

I've gotta get to health class.

Mrs. Quick won't mind
if I leave this here.

Sit.

Stay.

All Sabrina needs to do
is fill in these blank spots

with high school students
from the past.

There's no mortals around.

To finish her poster
Of Westbridge High


Bring me the students
Of years gone by


Where are we?

Where's the radio?
We were listening to Jack Benny.

Uh-oh.

I'll have that fixed for you by Monday.

I just didn't say which Monday.

I bet you're kicking yourself now

that you didn't get a piece of this
when you had the chance.

You cannot possibly run this place
by yourself.

And I am not coming down here
every day to help you.

Okay, percent.


But that's my final offer.

Oh, what a great grandfather clock.

Actually, it's a grandfather clock,
but it appears to be a great one.

There's something odd
about this clock.

What? That it actually works?

- Let's check out the guts inside.
- No, wait.

Now I see why that guy
wanted all cash.

Psst.

[MOUTHS]
Go away.

Two minutes walking around
and my legs should wake up.

You did magic, didn't you?

You think this has anything to do
with the w*r?

Where am I?

Who are you?

Hilda, I hope you're happy.

You bought
a magical lost-in-time clock.

Well, how was I supposed to know
that that's what it was?

"Lost-in-time clock.

Persons who come through this clock
are lost in time.

Whoever opens this portal
must assist the time traveller

or be turned
into a clock themselves.

No excuses, no exceptions.
This means you."

Well, I guess that's what they mean
by "buyer beware."

They said these things were safe.

- Well, now what do we do?
- I'm not sure.

See, you don't know any more
about running a clock shop than I do.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- You've gotta reverse the spell.
- I don't know how.

Let me try.

You don't know how to reverse your
spells, but know how to seal them?

This isn't good news, is it?

I've read about
lost-in-time people before.

They made a big mistake
somewhere in their lives,

and they have to go back
so they can correct it.

Okay, Billy, what was the last thing
that you remember doing?

Let's see.

I was in the big game,
I was running for a pass,

and I noticed my shoe was untied--

- That must be it.
- Right.

Okay, Billy, go back.
And this time, don't trip.

Oh, not as easy as it looks.

We've gotta get to my aunts.
Let's make a break for it.

Halt.

That's detention for everyone,

including George
and Mary Bailey here.

They're part
of my yearbook proposal.

You know, a live, -D interactive
presentation

with kids from the Westbridge Players.

I don't like it.

Well, then I guess we'll have to return
the costumes to the costume shop.

The fact that we don't have a
costume shop doesn't even bother me.

Okay, the glue is on.

Thank goodness you remember
dropping that pass.

Okay, Billy, go back there.

And this time,
win one for The Gipper.

All right, well, we have
that spare bedroom, don't we?

[BELL DINGS]

Oh, it's Sabrina and Dreama.

HILDA:
And two weird kids.

I've got a big problem.

- Cirque du Soleil?
- Football player.

He came through the clock.

So I can speak freely.

Oh, no, it's Brad.

You can help me send
these people back to their homes,

or you could help me
fight the Witches' Council

in a fiery apocalyptic showdown,
whatever works for you.

We've got a little problem.
Brad's outside.

- Brad?
- Gretchen?

- Billy?
- You know each other?

We were in love,
but I decided to play in the big game

instead of taking her out
for her birthday.

So I went out with John instead.

And you never thought
about going out after the game?

Billy, that's why you're lost in time.

You've got to go back, skip the game
and be with your girl.

You've gotta go out and make sure
Brad doesn't come back here.

- Just show him some clocks.
- But if you sell one, no commission.

- Now let's let these guys skidoo.
- Hilda, that's the ' s.

- Sorry, it looks like you lose out.
- Well, that's okay.

If you ever find yourself in ,
look me up.

Toodle-oo.

Buy bonds.

So we've sent three very confused
people back home through a clock.

Now all I have to do
is come up with an excuse.

- Hilda, do you feel strange?
- Definitely.

What's that?

This Brad is the boy who dislikes you
for no apparent reason?

That's right.

Bingo. Witch hunter.

As in, hunts witches?

A very small amount of mortals
are born with a witch-hunting gene

that makes them
wanna ferret out witches.

Something new and horrible.
Right on time.

Okay, so Harvey's best friend
is trying to out me?

He doesn't know what he's doing.

He just senses magic
and it makes him suspicious.

Yeah, the real danger comes

when a witch inadvertently
reveals herself to a witch hunter.

Then you get turned into a mouse
for a hundred years.

So we have to be very careful.

Oh, well, we're always careful,
and we'd never do magic around--

Dreama.

Maybe they're next door
at the beef bowl.

No Dreama.

Goodbye licence, goodbye home.

Witch hunter, give me her.

- What?
- I'm so sorry.

Miss Spellman, do I have to add
crimes against nature to your dossier?

I--

Dreama, thank goodness.

- Who am I holding?
- My science project.

Note the tumour.

You will be happy
to learn the detention hall

now serves a continental breakfast.

- Your girlfriend is weird.
- I know.

I've been looking for you
for, like, an hour.

I have a pager.

Here's your vintage yearbooks

and my heartfelt letter
of recommendation.

You really wrote it?

With a little encouragement
from Dreama.

She sat me down
and told me to just write what I feel.

The first three drafts
are about my stomachache.

This last one
is straight from the heart.

"Sabrina Spellman
is the nicest, smartest,

most imaginative person
I've ever met.

Pick her as yearbook editor
and watch her work her magic."

Oh, Harvey.

[BELL RINGS]

Life's great
when you're not annoyed with me.

So are you annoyed with me?

You're not very good with your magic,
but you're a pretty good friend.

All this excitement
has made me thirsty.

No!

Let's go over the rules again.

Well?

Well, Brad made yearbook editor.

- We can turn him into a chicken.
- Well, that's okay.

I'll have plenty to do
mentoring Dreama.

- Did you get your clock fixed?
- Of course.

I run a clock shop.

Since Hilda has absolutely
no experience fixing things,

we had to improvise a little.

I'm not doing this all night.

I'm not working weekends,
I'm taking holidays off.

- Salem.
- Cuckoo.
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