04x20 - She's Baaaack!

[bunniefuu]

Well, since cousin Amanda's
visiting for the weekend,

I thought I'd get her a little present.

That's a thoughtful gift for all of us.

Now, now, she's family.

We should welcome her
with open arms.

If she tries anything, we have
an electric cage in the basement.

She's back.

Hi, everybody.
It's so good to see you.

Get your pointer fingers up in the air
where I can see them.

Enough, Barney Fife.

Sabrina,
I don't blame you for being suspicious.

My behaviour in past
may have been a little bratty.

Yeah, you were a little bratty

and n*zi Germany
was a little aggressive.

But I've grown up.

I'm now a teenage witch,
just like you.

I have to admit,
she does seem more mature.

[SINGING]
Call me irresponsible

Okay, there's mature
and there's scary.

Unreliable

Throw in undependable too

- Rock, paper, scissors.
- Rock, paper, scissors.

Rock breaks scissors. You lose.

Finally, for once in my life, you lose.

Fine.

I'll be the one to tell Sabrina

that she has to stay with Amanda
while we're at work.

I'll get the chips. You go get CDs.

Got it.

And as per our agreement,
since I'm giving Sabrina the bad news,

you have to scrub all the pots.

Zelda,
you wanna help me dust the clocks?

No, remember, you were going to be
in the front minding the store

and I was going to be in the back
working, alone.

Oh, yeah.

Zelda, I made some tea.
Do you want some?

No, I'm working, alone.

You probably didn't know
it was jasmine.

[GURGLING]

[GURGLING]

Stop it.

[BOOM]

Company.

I'm never gonna get anything done.

Nice bottle.

Oh, look, there's a message.

Probably some shipwrecked soul
searching for their lost love.

"Please recycle."

I wish bottles came
with a vortex warning.

A genie must have lived here.

Or Luther Vandross.

This place is charming
and so private.

I could make this my office.

Let's get out of here.
It smells like stinky genie feet.

Oh, you know what?

I bet we have to flip this switch
to get out.

Wow. Did you use a lot of hairspray
this morning?

A little.

Okay, Sabrina, here's your usual,

and, Amanda, your Colombian blend,
black, just like you ordered.

Thank you, Josh.

Mmm. My first sip of coffee.

And my last.

Hey, Sabrina.

Oh, hey,
you remember my cousin Amanda?

I sure do.
You're such a young lady now.

I remember
when you were yay high.

Why am I talking like my uncle Jay?

Dear diary,

I had my first cup of coffee
and I met Sabrina's boss, Josh.

Is he cute or what?
Give me an exclamation point there.

SORECORN:
Mm.

- And then later, Harvey showed up.
SABRINA: Amanda?

- I'll finish later, Miss Sorecorn.
- Yes, ma'am.

And I'll dot the I's with little hearts,
as per usual.

- Your mom's on the phone.
- Thanks.

Oh, and by the end of the day,

I need a recount
on my remaining Red Hots.

Yes, ma'am.

Amanda loves Josh.

I love when the eavesdropping
comes to me.

Well, he was being
awfully nice to her.

So Amanda has a crush on Josh,
huh?

Great reaction.

I thought I'd at least get
a girlish squeal out of you.

[SQUEALS]

I know that was sarcastic,
but thank you.

Attention, everyone,
this is my new office.

And when the lid is on,
I am not to be disturbed.

If you get tired of it,
you can return it and get a nickel back.

Be careful with that.

You know, it's so inspiring to have
a private place to do one's work.

To me, this will be
like Hemingway's Key West study.

- But you're not a writer.
- Like Monet's Giverny.

- You're not an artist.
- I just wanna be alone, okay?

You're not Garbo either.

Don't worry about me bothering you.

I'll be antiquing in the th century.

Thirteenth-century stuff
was much cheaper then.

I just want everyone clear,
this bottle is off-limits.

Please tell Amanda.

Speaking of Amanda, it turns out
she has a little crush on Josh.

Amanda likes an older man?
That is so cute.

Just like when I had it bad
for Sean Connery.

You are several centuries
older than Sean Connery.

I know that.
I just like talking about him.

Sabrina, I think it's best
not to encourage this crush on Josh.

I know. That's why we're not
going back to the coffeehouse.

Harvey's coming here, Amanda
will have to hang out with us

and act like a normal teenager.

Amanda needs toner.

I think I'll put you outside

so the sun can shine
through the glass.

I just love natural light.

Oh, finally.

I can get some work done.

Oh, I just love early-century genie.

Who says you can't find happiness
at the bottom of a bottle?

Sealed with a kiss.

Oh, who's the letter for?
Someone you have a crush on?

- No, it's for my mom.
- Oh, really?

Yeah, well, my mom likes
Passion Fruity Girl too.

Zellie, I'm back from antiquing.

I didn't find any clocks,
but I got a great deal on a plough.

Go away.

What are you doing?

And what's with the outfit?

I specifically told you
I did not wanna be disturbed.

- You've got a guy in here, don't you?
- Go away.

Hey,
I bet you haven't tried these switches.

- Cool.
- Turn it off.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]

Oh, I love this song.

Let me do it.

[POWER TURNS OFF]

Uh-oh. Looks like you broke
your little bottle.

See you.

The exit switch isn't working.
We're trapped.

And I wanna go play
with my new plough.

Right foot, yellow.

Right hand, ow!

[PHONE RINGING]

Okay, back.

Hello?

Really? Yeah, I'll be right there.

Okay, Josh is swamped.

I gotta go to work. Sorry.

- No problem.
- Send Josh my regards.

Of course.

Well, you two
just make yourselves comfortable.

Let's play something
a little less painful.

How about jousting?

Handy Dandy brush man.

Ooh.

That's a good-looking bottle.

I'll bet these would sell.

A mortal got sucked in.

Even worse, a salesman.

How do we explain this?

Handy Dandy brush man.

Tired of throwing money away
on costly combs and brushes?

Yes, it's the comb-brush.

Explain what?

Okay, get ready to tip your cups
and empty your bladders.

The brewmaster general is here.

Hello? Josh?

Sabrina,
so good of you to rush down.

Let's forget the charade. I love you.

Okay, Josh,
I knew you kind of liked me,

but had no idea your feelings
would cause a breakdown.

And an ascot.

Oh, a chocolate soufflé.

You know, you really raised the bar
on snack time.

Harvey, this is for you.

Thanks, Amanda.

Hm. Smells like my mom's bridge club.

HARVEY: Amanda,
are you sure this letter is for me?

Of course it is. I like you, Harvey.

Huh?

Sabrina,
you're positively bewitching.

I'm under your spell.

There's a spell going on here,
but it's not mine.

[PHONE RINGS]

Help. I mean, hello?

Sabrina, Amanda doesn't like Josh.

She likes Harvey.

- Harvey?
- Call me Josh.

Okay, it's all clear now.

Amanda wanted to be alone
with Harvey,

so she put this spell on Josh.

For the simple days
when she could turn me into a doll.

Wait, don't rush off.

There's so much
we haven't talked about.

Like kissing.

Don't be afraid to swoon,
I'll be here to catch you.

Okay, he's under a cad spell.

I hate to do this.

You cad.

I wasn't just blurting out
my true feelings for you, was I?

Oh, were you blurting?
I wasn't paying attention.

Amanda, this is really flattering,

but Sabrina and I
are sort of going together.

And besides,
I'm way too old for you.

I understand, Harvey.

But I like the way
you've made your vowels pink

and your consonants green.

I guess this really
isn't the time or place for us.

But I know what is.

Harvey's all mine on Cloud .

Amanda.

Bring my boyfriend back.

You're gonna pay for this.

Well, you really told the ceiling off.

Salem,
you have to help me find Harvey.

Well, he's not in the candy dish.
I'm stumped.

Forget it. I'll just go ask Aunt Hilda.

Oh, she's shopping
in another century.

Aunt Zelda will be furious
if I try to disturb her in her bottle.

- Sabrina.
- Sabrina.

- Sabrina.
- Sabrina.

There's gotta be a spell
to find Harvey.

Oh, oh, oh! Mr. Kotter, I know one.

Can I say the spell
and you do the zapping?

- Just hurry.
- Ahem.

Where'd they go, you do the math
Help me follow Harvey's path

That was fun.

Meet Sherlock Bones.
If he can't find him, nobody can.

Sherlock, okay,
Harvey was last seen--

He's a dog. He can't talk.

Just give him something of Harvey's
so he can pick up the scent.

Hey, here's Harvey's jacket. Here.

Maybe this will help you track his trail!

Oh, no.

Storage? He's in here?

Oh, did Amanda stuff him in a box?

[DOG WHIMPERS]

No wonder genies have to turn
into smoke to get out of these.

This seal is really tight.

Zellie, try this brush.
It makes your hair smell like grape.

Don't worry, someone's gonna
come along and get us out of here.

I don't want to get us out of here,
I want to get you out of here.

Cool hideout.

You've obviously got bucks.

How many boxes of brittle
can we sign you up for?

I just want to be alone.

What kind of brittle?

They're here? Cloud ?

[DOG WHIMPERS]

Hey, where are you--?

Oh, yeah, you're all work
until you see a squirrel.

Why would Amanda
bring Harvey here?

So you really like being with me,
don't you, Harvey?

Well, I'm on Cloud .

I like everything on Cloud .

Why, you little home wrecker.

Hey, you, get off of my cloud.

I can't believe you tried to steal
my boyfriend.

He's not your boyfriend anymore.

- He's mine.
- No, he's mine.

He's mine.

HARVEY:
Wow. I'm flying.

[THUMP]

You broke my boyfriend.

I didn't break your boyfriend.

I broke my boyfriend.

- Thank you for saving my boyfriend.
- For the last time, he's my--

You know what?

I give up, Harvey's yours.

That means you're gonna have
to sign some release forms.

Today a medical release form,
tomorrow a marriage licence.

Be sure to let me know
where you're registered.

When I ask for a wheelchair,
everyone says no.

I gotta get Harvey out of harm's way.

Put Harvey in his own bed

With none of these happenings
In his head

Weird.

I haven't taken a nap in years.

And I've got cloud in my hair.

I've gotta find a way to stop
Amanda's infatuation with Harvey.

So we're just not gonna talk
about my wheelchair?

AMANDA: I'll get you, Sabrina,
and your little kitty too.

[AMANDA LAUGHS]

AMANDA:
I'm burning mad.

Well, the queen of property damage
has arrived.

Where did you hide my Harvey?

You can have Harvey.
Just don't hurt me.

[SOBS]

What Salem's trying to say is,

why don't we be mature about this
and discuss it rationally?

I'll tear this room apart
until I find him.

Interesting take on rational.

Freeze.

Talk about your cool cat.

Sorry.

I should do some early
Christmas shopping.

Can't you people call during dinner
like everyone else?

[KNOCKING]

Hilda, it's Dreama.

She can zap us out.

Are we talking
about the same Dreama?

We're desperate.
Dreama, zap us out.

- But don't open the lid.
- What did you say?

Zelda,
get your hands off of her throat.

[SHIVERING]

I've lost all feeling in my tail.

I've gotta stop Amanda's infatuation
before she finds Harvey.

There's nothing
under crush, puppy love,

or psychotic preteen
lacking scruples

or any sense of morality.

Wagging that appendage
was my only creative outlet.

- Oh, what will I do?
- Help me find a spell.

Look under "desire."

Oh! You're back.

Whip it, tiger.

Here's something. Hopefully
this will help k*ll Amanda's desire.

Hey, Sabrina!

Hey, Sabrina!

Stanley Kinkle-ski?

Don't ever leave me, baby.

Maybe I should have read
the fine print on that desire spell.

SALEM: Sabrina, it looks like you did
a Streetcar Named Desire spell.

Thank you.

No one's made me dinner.

I have to eat before I go bowling.

Yeah, well,
the spell certainly k*lled desire, mine.

How did I tear my T-shirt?

Why did I dream
I was playing poker with Karl Malden?

Oh, dang, I miss Stanley.

Where's Harvey?
I've looked everywhere, even Iowa.

You looked in the Midwest

and you didn't even check
his bedroom?

- Salem.
- Thanks for the tip.

A concrete solution.

This might be a good time
to throw her in the river.

You're stepping on my foot.

Excuse me.

I feel like I'm in a bejewelled anthill.

Hilda,
why did you have to come in here?

Why couldn't you
just leave me alone?

I was excited
about the plough I bought.

That's not true.

And it could have waited until later.

Well, this is a conundrum, isn't it?

And why is it that our entire lives,

whenever I tried to find solitude
in my own room, tree house, pod,

there you were? Why is that?

Well, the only thing I can think of

is that, a lot of the time
there's just the two of us,

so that if you're alone,
that means I'm alone.

And when I'm alone, I get lonely.

Hilda, we've had a breakthrough.

I understand you now.

I want to be alone,

but you have every right
not to be alone.

Do me a favour, get a dog.

That's a great idea.
We'll go to the pound together.

I have to do something

before Amanda pulls
an Incredible Hulk on that cement.

I know I'm not supposed
to disturb Aunt Zelda but--

[THUMPING]

The monster's on the move.

Go ahead, you big tattletale.

I guess you're not mature enough
to handle this one on your own.

I don't need any help.
I can solve this one all by myself.

Salem, what do I do?

Well, hiring a hit man
is prohibitively expensive.

So I guess you could just wait for her
to outgrow this crush on Harvey.

Why wait when one is a witch?

I can use magic
to make her grow up.

[SPEAKING INAUDIBLY]

So now that you've blossomed,
are you any older and wiser?

I sure am. Wise enough to know
I wanna stay a kid as long as I can.

- Wonderful.
- Since I'm a kid,

I don't need boyfriend.

Perfect. I have finally done a spell
that turned out the way it should.

And in the sprit of staying young,
I'm gonna cut your hair.

See, perfect spell.

I needed a new haircut.

Aunt Zelda.

Aunt Zelda.

Am I the only one
who thinks we're running out of air?

Sabrina's our only hope.

Amanda's our only hope.

AMANDA:
I'm going home.

Like I said, Salem's our only hope.

[SNORING]

[YAWNING]

Oh, nothing like a little catnap.

Hey, where is everybody?
I'm hungry.

Zelda, feed me.

I will not be ignored.

Well, Aunt Zelda,
I'm really sorry about your bottle,

but I think
there's an empty can in trash.

Yeah, too bad Salem
ruined your secret hideaway.

Well, that is the one good thing
about being a witch.

Everyone,
stay out of my tree house.

Tree house?

Well, it's getting late.
I'll walk you to your door.

I had a really great time tonight.

Me too.

When I'm with you, Sabrina,
I'm on Cloud .

Harvey, I have to tell you.

I'm sorry, but I'm breaking up with you.
It's for the best.

Sabrina, do you ever black out
and miss big parts of the day?