07x28 - Samantha and the Antique Doll

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Bewitched". Aired: September 17, 1964 - March 25, 1972.*
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Samantha falls in love with and marries Darrin Stephens only for him to find out that his new wife is one of a secret society of powerful witches and warlocks and that a twitch of her nose brings magic.
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07x28 - Samantha and the Antique Doll

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪]

That was very good,
that last one. Yeah.

Mommy, "What is grey,
has big ears

a long trunk,
and weighs only three pounds?"

I don't know. What is grey,
has big ears, a long trunk

and weighs only three pounds?

"A very, very,
very thin elephant."

[LAUGHS]

Heh-heh!
You got me there, partner.

Now,

what kind of a table
has no legs?

A timetable.
Oh...

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Grandma's here.
Grandma.

[♪]

Okay, sweetie, here we go.
We're gonna see Grandma, huh?

How is my little angel?
Fine.

Ah, and where is Mommy?

Hi, Mrs. Stephens.
Oh, there you are, Samantha.

Oh, and there he is.

Guess what Grandma
has brought for her precious.

Oh, what is that?
[CHUCKLES]

And this is
for the littlest princess.

Oh, Mrs. Stephens.
I think it's a top.

You don't have to bring them
something every time you come.

Well, if I were here
as often as your mother,

you'd probably be right.

[GASPS]

Oh, look.
What is that?

Oh, it's a top.

Oh, look, Mommy.

Thank you, Grandma.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Why, I haven't seen
one of those since I...

It must be very old.
Oh, yes.

Yes, it was given to me
by my grandmother.

Well, Tabitha,
you take very good care of that.

It's a real antique.

Wow,

it must be a thousand years old.

Not quite.

But you're close.

You know, Darrin stopped by
the house last week,

and I thought
he looked awfully thin.

Well, I-I hope you told him.

He's been trying to lose
a few pounds.

[SOBBING]

Oh, Tabitha,
I'm surprised at you.

Now, you're old enough to share.

But it's an antique,
and he might break it.

Well, he can play with it

if he promises to be
very, very careful.

Promise, Adam?

All right, sweetheart.

Let him play with it
for a little while.

[♪]

I hope you don't misunderstand,
Samantha.

I'm sure you do your best

to cook the things
that Darrin likes.

But perhaps I'd better
give you the recipes

for some of the
favorite dishes of his.

[♪]

[NARRATOR READING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]

[♪]

[♪]

[♪]

What...? What was that?

What do you mean?

The... The doll.

It floated through the air

from Adam right over to Tabitha.

Yes. Weird, isn't it?

Uh, Tabitha, I think
the only thing to do...

Excuse me.

Is put this away until you two
have learned how to share.

Now, why don't you
and Adam go out in the back

and play for a while?

Okay. Come on, Adam,
let's go outside and share.

Come on, sweetie.
Come on.

There you go.
Take the top outside.

That's good.

Well, how about a cup of coffee?
I have some in the kitchen.

Oh, never mind the coffee.
What about the doll?

You mean, you noticed it too?

Huh?

Mrs. Stephens,
you were right about that doll.

I-it did fly across the room.

Did it ever occur to you

that you might have been
the one who moved it?

Me?

Of course.

It's a question
of mind over matter.

Mrs. Stephens, isn't it true
that you were worried about

Adam playing with
your grandmother's doll

that he might damage it?

Yes.

It's simple.

Your subconscious willed
that the doll be

in the hands of Tabitha

where it would be safe.

[♪]

Come.

What are you doing?

I'm testing my powers,
what do you think?

Come.

I did it.

There's no doubt about it,
I do have the power.

But why is it
I've never been aware of it?

Well, uh,

from what little I-I've read,

supernatural powers
have a tendency to come and go.

Mostly go. This will probably
never happen again.

Oh, no. No.

And I know where
my powers come from.

My grandmother,
the one who gave me this doll,

people said
she had unusual powers.

Really?

You know,
this could come in very handy.

At my Tuesday night
bridge club, for example.

M-Mrs. Stephens,

I swear I will not tell
a soul about this,

a-a-and I assume
you won't either.

Why not?

Well, I-I-I don't know
too much about it,

but, uh, it seems to me

that people shouldn't
fool around with the unknown.

And I certainly wouldn't
tell anybody about this.

Most people are disbelievers,

and they'd just think
that you're...

Screwy?

Samantha,

you must promise me
never to tell a soul about this.

[♪]

[♪]

Where the devil have you been?

Funny you should mention
the devil.

Phyllis, do you mind telling me
where you've been all day?

I've been to the library,
studying.

I didn't think
you even knew where it was.

What are you studying?

Oh, nothing.

Phyllis, if you've got
something to say, say it.

My lips are sealed.

Good.

I'm gonna mix myself a drink.

Oh, wait. Wait, Frank,

I-I have something
to tell you.

What is it?

Oh, Frank, I found out

something about myself today.

Yeah?

I have supernatural powers.

What do you mean, supernatural?

What do you think I mean
by supernatural?

Well, I think that it means
things that aren't natural.

But that's not what
you mean, is it?

That's exactly what I mean.

Good grief.

I'm gonna call Dr. Rhinehouse.
You've wigged out.

Oh, really?

Would you like a demonstration?

I will that hourglass

to fly off that shelf

and over to my beloved husband.

Go.

You're right, let's go,
to see Dr. Rhinehouse.

You go see Dr. Rhinehouse.

I'm gonna find out
what's happened to my power.

Wherever you go,
I'm going with you.

Hi, sweetheart.
H-how was your game?

Great.
But it'll improve.

How did it go
with my mother today?

We had a very interesting visit.

Well, what do you mean,
"interesting"?

Well, uh, wh-why don't you
let me fix you a drink

and then I'll tell you
all about it?

I have a feeling this is gonna
be a two-drink story.

[DOORBELL RINGS] Well...

Uh, you answer that,
I'll get your drink.

[♪]

Oh, hi...

Samantha, I've got to talk
to you, privately.

Mother, aren't you even
gonna say hello to me?

Honey, it's Darrin.
Our son?

Oh, I'm so sorry, dear.

How was your golf game?

Terrible, thanks.

Well, don't be surprised
if it improves.

Come, Samantha.

You know what this is all about?

Your mother has some weird idea

that she has
supernatural powers.

Is that right?
Darrin, what am I gonna do?

Well, the first thing to do
is have a drink.

I'll meet you in the den.

[♪]

As I told you before,

these things have
a tendency to come and go.

Mostly go.

Yours are gone.

Hee-hee! Samantha,
if you'll forgive me,

this is one subject
you know nothing about.

This is a private conversation.

I just came in to get...
Out.

Yes, ma'am.

Now, what was I saying?
Oh, yes.

Now, I've been
at the, uh, library

studying supernatural
powers all day,

and I found out

why my powers worked here

and not in my house.

You did? Why?

Do you know what a familiar is?

A what?

Well, I see I'll have to start
with fundamentals.

According to my research,

a familiar
is an animal or an object

which acts as a transmitter,
so to speak,

for a person who has the power.

Do you follow me?

Vaguely.

Naturally, it's hard
for a person

like yourself to understand.

But the point is
that somewhere in this house

is my familiar.

Mrs. Stephens...

Oh, please, Samantha.
Take my word for it.

Now, let's see.
It could be anything.

A pot, an eggbeater,

a picture.

[♪]

[♪]

That's it.
That's my familiar.

My grandmother's doll.
Of course.

Should I go up to my room?

That's a nice, safe place.

I'll be up in a minute.

[SIGHS]

[♪]

Tell Tabitha not to worry
about the doll.

I'll get her another one.

Another one?
Well, of course.

You don't think I'm gonna
give this one up, do you?

She's regressing.

I've gotta get her to a doctor.

No, Dad, wait.

I wouldn't do anything
to, uh, provoke her right now.

You know what I mean?

Oh, she might flip altogether?

It's better to humor her.

[♪]

Well, darling, I see
you've got your doll back.

For your information,
this isn't just a doll.

It isn't?

Oh, of course it isn't.

What is it?

It's my familiar.

Well, it should be familiar,

you've had it
since you were a child.

Oh, Frank, stop humoring me.

I'm as sane as anybody
in this room,

and I'll prove it to you.

[♪]

Come to me.

I said, come to me.

I know what's wrong.

There are negative
vibrations in this room

sent out by disbelievers.

And I think he knows who he is.

I'm going to look this up
in my books.

[♪]

Phyllis, wait.

Don't you think it'd be
a better idea

if we went home?

I'm not going home
with any disbeliever,

you old goat.

[♪]

That's it.
That's what?

The answer.
What was the question?

I'll tell you later.

What your mother needs
is a good dose

of hyper-hallucinogenic
revelation.

What?

I'm gonna scare
the daylights out of her.

If you don't mind your father

being changed into a goat
for a few hours.

[♪]

[♪]

Moony, cheeny.

Toony, greeny

[♪]

Are you having any luck?

No.

No, I just tried
this incantation,

but nothing happened.

I'll find another spell.

I guess the reason

my powers are so erratic
is because...

[♪]
[GASPS]

I did it again.

Oh, Frank.
Frank, come here, quick.

You think you're so smart.
Come and see something.

[♪]

I had the doll up in the air.


Sure. Sure.

Why won't you believe me?
Why? Why?

Because...
I'll tell you why.

Because you're as stubborn
as a mule.

Sam.

Well, how did I know
she was gonna switch to a mule?

Good heavens.

What...? How...?

I mean, did I do that?

Well, you must have.
It was a subconscious wish.

Just like this morning,

when you willed that doll
from Adam.

Oh, Frank, it was an accident.

Frank, I'm so sorry.

[BRAYS]

He's angry with me.

Do you blame him?

Uh, I think you'd better try
and undo whatever it is you did.

Oh, yes. Yes.

Undo the spell.
[BRAYS]

Now, look here. I-I want
that spell undone this minute.

Do you hear?

[BRAYS]

Oh, Frank,
will you ever forgive me?

[BRAYING]

Samantha, I have come
to a decision.

What's that, Mrs. Stephens?

Never again, as long as I live,

no matter what the temptation,

no matter what
the circumstances,

irregardless of how I feel...

Go ahead, Mother.

I will never again
use the phrase

"stubborn mule"
to your poor father.

From now on, I'm gonna
have to be very careful

what I say, or think,
for that matter.

People with my power
have to learn

to discipline their thoughts.

Uh, Mrs. Stephens,

I-I have what I think
is a logical suggestion.

Now, if you got the power
from your grandmother,

why not ask her
to solve this problem?

Sort of go to the source
of the sorcery,

so to speak.

How can I ask her?

Well, there must be something
in all those books of yours

on... On how to contact
the spirit world.

Oh, you mean a séance?

Whatever it's called.

That's a marvelous idea.

I'll go right in
and look up how it's done.

Frank, get out of my way.

[♪]
[BRAYS]

[♪]

Now... Now, you sit there,
Samantha,

and, Darrin, you're over here.

Frank, you're fine
where you are.

Now, let's all join hands.

[♪]

All right.

Clear your minds, everybody.

Oh, Grandma,

I call to your spirit
from the vasty deep.

Oh, hear me. Hear me.

Hear me.

[BRAYS]

Was that her?

No, that was Frank. Keep trying.

I beseech you, Grandma,
to come to me

from your great spirit world.

Come to me. Come to me.

Come to me.

[♪]

Mother, look.

[GASPS]

Good heavens.
What's that?

It's your grandmother.

It doesn't look like her.

Well, that's her spirit,
not her body.

Oh, of course,
what's the matter with me?

How are you, Grandma?

SPIRIT: Just fine, Phyllis, dear.
How are you?

Grandma, what happened
to your Irish brogue?

[IRISH ACCENT] Sure and begorra,
I've still got it, me darlin'.

Now, if you don't mind
me askin', Phyllis,

what are you callin' me about?

Oh, Grandma,
a terrible thing has happened.

I turned Frank into a mule,
and now I can't turn him back.

Fay, 'tis is a sorry sight
to see.

'Twas my hope you'd never
discover the family curse

but you have, worse luck.

Family curse?

Aye, that it is.

And many the soul
it's brought to grief.

If you know what's good for you,

you'll give it up
and ne'er try it again.

Oh, I will, Grandma.
I swear. I promise.

Fine. Now, I've got
to be on me way.

Goodbye to you all.

Oh, oh, wait, Grandma,

you didn't tell me
how to turn Frank back.

You'll have to find out
for yourself.

I swore I'd never use
me powers again.

But if you swear never to use

your powers again...

Oh, I swear. I swear.

All right. I'll give you
a bit of a hint.

It's a common word
in everyday use.

The secret word

is "love."

Love.

[♪] [FADING] Love.

I don't understand.
What does she mean?

Oh, Grandma, come back.

Can't you give me another hint?

Mrs. Stephens, I think I know
what your grandmother meant.

You do? What? What?

She meant that there is no power

greater than the power of love.

Maybe that'll do the trick.

Love?

Yes.

So maybe if you told Dad
how much you love him,

it would help.

You think so?

It wouldn't hurt.

I'll try it.
I'll try anything.

[♪]

Frank. Frank, I love you.

You know that, don't you?

I know that sometimes
I'm very unfair to you,

and I say things I don't mean.

And I admit
I'm very quick-tempered

and not very understanding.

But underneath it all,

you know you mean
everything in the world to me.

[MULE BRAYS]

Phyllis.

Oh, Frank.

Yes, I'll do that.
Goodbye, Mom.

Hello from my mother.

You know,
it's really incredible.

They've been carrying on
like kids all week.

Sunday, they went bike riding,
bowling last night.

And guess what
they're doing tonight.

Splitting a t*nk of oxygen?

Sorry.
What are they doing?

They're going to a rock concert

to hear Freddy
and the Furry Freaks.

That's terrific. It just proves
what I've always maintained:

Nothing beats
a simple statement of love.

Even when it's brought about
by witchcraft?

Even then.

And as far as I'm concerned,

it couldn't happen to
the parents of a nicer person.

Speaking of nice things
reminds me of your mother.

Really?

I was just thinking
how nice it is

that we haven't seen her
in over two weeks.

Oh, now, Darrin,
don't tempt fate.

You never know
when she might be...

She was.

His mother was a fool.

His father was a mule.

From this you may deduce.

Their offspring is a goose

[GASPS]
[HONKS]

Oh, oh...

Oh, oh, Mother, how could you?

[♪]

"Easy."

Oh. Oh, sweetheart,

I am sorry.

But I did warn you.

[HONKS]

Darrin, you be careful
what you say.

[HONKING]

Mother speaks perfect goose.

Oh, Darrin, calm down.

You know very well
that Mother will be along

any minute to change you back.

I'll, uh, tell you what I'll do,

just to keep you happy
till Mother arrives.

[♪]

[HONKING]

[♪]
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