- Girls today can be anything.
CEO, Olympic gold medalist,
even a Supreme Court Justice.
We've finally broken
that glass ceiling, and, wow,
sure looks good from the top.
[Selena Gomez's
"Bad Liar" plays]
- * I'm trying, I'm trying,
oh, trying *
- Hey, go brush your teeth.
Wipe her face.
Did you find your homework?
And you, my little friend,
you need pants.
- Mom.
Can I stay home
from school today?
- Nobody's staying home.
- I feel sick.
- What hurts?
- My spleen.
Specificity is good,
but that's over the top.
Next time try tummy.
- It's go time.
Let's go.
- Okay, everyone's going
to school.
Mommy has something important
to do.
[television playing]
- Oh, look.
- Guys, look, Daddy's
on TV again.
- So what are you waiting for?
A pig to fly?
- All right, let's go.
Line up.
- Love you.
- Train's leaving.
- Love you.
Love you.
- Bags in the back.
- Love you.
*
- Love you.
- Tuna fish.
Keep it in the fridge.
*
- Stop, stop, stop,
Mom!
[brakes squeal]
- You make your dad drop you
off all the way back here?
- I don't know.
- What's the girlfriend drive?
- Porsche Turbo.
- [imitates gagging, retching]
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Did you need this?
[both chuckle]
*
Love you, Sadie.
- Can I have lunch money?
- Come on, did those kids
take it again?
God, those douchebags.
It was a 20.
- Well, small price to pay for
the bone structure of my face.
- That's very true.
- * Oh, baby, let's make
- I don't want to leave you
without cash.
- Excuse me, who is
the adult here?
Don't answer that.
- So why aren't there any
of these awesome women
in my history book, huh?
I'll tell you why.
Sister made the mistake
of getting her period.
They say behind every great man
there's a great woman.
Well, I say that's some bull
right there.
'Cause none of these nasty
women I just told you about
stood behind men.
- [pops lips]
- They stood right beside them.
So we gotta get it done
ourselves, ladies, am I right?
- You get it, girl!
You. Get. It.
- We gonna burn
this patriarchy down!
- Whoo!
[lighter clicks]
- Ain't nobody gonna stop her?
- Okay.
[chuckles]
- Okay, I'm out of here.
- What's going on?
You got an early shift?
- Um.
I figured, you know,
we could use the extra.
- Hm, I figured the same thing
'cause I'm about to pull
a double at the mall.
- I can make it work.
- You always do, boo.
- * And, oh, baby,
let's make reality *
* Actuality
* A reality
* Oh, baby,
let's make reality *
* Actuality
* A reality
* Oh, I'm trying, I'm trying,
I'm trying, I'm trying *
- I cannot believe you.
- Chill, sis.
I'm like two minutes late.
- [sighs]
How was Sara's thing?
- Oh, she was so good.
- She's so smart.
I worry about mine.
- [laughs] Stop it.
- All right, you all ready
for this?
- Now or never.
- Let's do it.
[rock music]
- All right, everybody be cool,
and nobody gets hurt.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is a robbery.
[wax strip ripping]
- Oh! My lord.
[sighs]
Maybe we don't have
to do the full Brazilian.
- Oh, Brazilian would put you
in the hospital.
This is just brush control.
- Yeah, I probably don't get
in here as much as I used to.
- [mock surprise] No.
- My husband and I
aren't having a lot
of S-E-X right now.
- Maybe he just can't find it.
- Kids are back to school.
I'm swamped.
He's always working late.
Plus there's so much on the
DVR--it's really kind of hard
to sched--ow!
Okay!
- Mrs. Boland?
Your card was declined.
- Are you sure?
- I ran it twice.
- I'm sure he just...
Forgot to pay the bill.
He's been
very distracted lately.
- Hey , there.
Amber here over
at Boland Motors.
We've got Chevys.
We've got Fords.
[mouthing words]
We've got Chryslers, too.
Have we got the car for you?
Do you think I could
make it in LA?
The right price to boot.
- Mmm, mm-hmm.
- It's not like Michigan.
They have really good
actresses there.
- And you're gonna win
one of those fancy awards.
Like a People's Choice.
- I don't need all that.
I just want to be super famous.
So come on down
to Boland Motors
where we'll put
the vroom, vroom, vroom
back in your engine.
- Annie Bananey.
Hey, you, uh, you got
any plans later?
My church is having
a bring a friend night.
- You know, I'm just not really
much of a church person.
You're definitely
a stuck up bitch.
[chuckles]
I'm just kidding ya.
Now, see, the old me totally
would have meant that, but...
Born again Boomer don't judge.
This came from your register
last night.
Know what it is?
- Hmm, this is a tough one.
It's a curling iron?
- We in the biz say
counterfeit.
Yeah, see, I know
it's counterfeit
because I used the pen.
Did you us the pen?
- Boomer, I don't remember
if I used--
- I'm guessing you didn't
because, if you had,
you would have known
it's counterfeit
which is why we have the pen.
So unfortunately
I'm gonna have to dock this
from your paycheck.
- Whoa, whoa.
Wait, Boomer, that's like
a whole shift for me.
- Well, maybe next time you'll
take security more seriously.
- Come on, what security?
[indistinct chatter]
- Excuse me, how much
longer is the wait?
'Cause we've been...
- What I'm most concerned
about right now
is Stella's
kidney function.
- Sara.
- What?
- You said Stella.
Her name's Sara.
Okay, so what
about her kidneys?
- One is failing, the other
one's right behind.
I would suggest
that we put Sara
on the list for a transplant
as soon as possible.
- Carla, you just can't throw
files like this.
- But we just got ten walk-ins.
- I've been doing some reading.
- Okay.
- 'Cause she can barely make it
through the school day
right now 'cause--
- It's all willy-nilly
over there.
- She can barely make it
through the day
let alone soccer.
- You might want to keep
her home and get a tutor.
Are those last week's
blood draws?
- My husband and I work
all the time.
So we can't.
- Here, Carla.
Take them all away.
- And the transplant list
can take months right?
- Separate.
Thank you.
- And there's this new drug
that just got approved.
- Take everything out.
- [yelling]
Oh, my God, can you please
just listen to me
for one damn minute?
Shame on you.
Shame on all of you.
*
- Eculizumab.
That's the name of the drug
you're talking about.
- Yes.
- It does.
It improves renal function
dramatically.
It's also ten grand a month
out of pocket.
And I'm guessing that may not
be an option.
*
- Well, I'll talk
to my husband.
We might be able to swing it.
[sniffles]
- Okay.
- And she was only halfway
through my wax.
- So what happened?
- Well, now I'm very uneven.
- Okay.
I don't even want to know.
- Dean maxed out their credit
card at some lingerie store.
- Do you think
he's sleeping around?
- Don't nobody want Dean.
It's a Christmas gift.
- In October?
- Maybe it's
your anniversary present.
- He already gave me
100 coupons
to Bed Bath & Beyond.
- Ew, really?
- Son of a bitch.
- No, I really do love it
there.
- No, that old guy
is stealing your tip.
- He can't even walk.
- Go get it.
- Shady S.O.B.
- Eh?
- Shady.
- Mm-hmm.
- At my old job we got robbed
all the time
so I got the sixth sense now.
- Are you serious?
- I mean it's no big deal.
All the stores I work
at eventually get hit.
- You could get sh*t.
- Ugh, one can hope.
These guys, they don't want
to hurt anybody.
They just want the money
so we let them have it.
Nobody's trying to be a hero.
- Do they get caught?
- Yeah, the dumb ones do
'cause they park
in the front
by the security cameras.
You got to put your getaway car
in the back
by the loading dock.
And you never d*ck around
with the registers.
The real money is back
in the vault.
- You've really worked
this out.
- Just keeping my options open.
- How much is in the vault?
- 30 grand, give or take.
- Damn, I could use that money.
- Oh, my God, me too.
- So when you want to do this?
- Well, I already bought
three automatics
and filed off
the serial numbers
so really, name a day.
[laughs]
You should see your face.
- It's whiter than usual.
[both laughing]
- I'm gonna need you all
to get on the ground
get your cell phones out
of your pockets,
and keep your hands
where I can see 'em.
All right, good.
Now, I need to you to get
your manager up here.
*
I said you need to get
a manager up here right now.
- Hey! Where's y'all's boss at?
- [yelling] I better get
a manager up here right now
or I will start capping people,
and I'm not even joking.
Mother--
[crash]
[screaming]
Are you the manager?
- Over there.
- Hey.
Hey, you. You!
You, squirmy!
Hey, hey, hey!
Are you in charge here?
- Yes. Yes, I am.
- Okay, then you
listen to me.
You're gonna put
on your big boy panties
and you're gonna tell
your customers to stay calm
and this will be over
real soon.
- Get out of there.
- Everybody stay calm, okay?
- Now you're going to take
my friend here
to the cash vault.
- Move it before I sh**t
your face off--let's go!
Now, now, now!
[panting]
[under breath]
Oh, my God.
- Hey, Deadpool, you wanna...
.
[pop music]
*
- Ugh.
Seriously?
- You won't call me back.
- I was busy.
- So here I am.
- Well, I'm pretty sure
I'm supposed to be helping
customers not chatting
with my ex, so.
- So, now I'm a customer.
Nancy and I are suing
you for custody.
[beep]
- Club card?
- There's a hearing next month.
You should probably
get yourself a lawyer.
- You know if you sign up now
you get 10% off your purchase.
- Annie, we were 17
when we decided all this stuff.
Sadie would be happier
with us now.
- How do you figure, Greg?
- We could send her
to private school, St. Anne's.
- She's an atheist
who enjoys a jaunty bow tie.
I don't really think that
Catholic school is a good fit.
- We could get her therapy.
- She doesn't need therapy.
She's figuring out who she is.
- That's all great, but
she's getting bullied, Annie.
- Yes, by dickhead kids
that need therapy.
- Who's watching her now?
It's after midnight.
- The neighborhood girl.
She's very good.
- The one who got the DUI?
- She lives
within walking distance.
- I'm buying her
a new computer.
Hers has been broken
for a month.
- Why didn't she tell me that?
- Because she said she didn't
want to freak you out.
- Why is it so crazy?
I mean it's
a victimless crime.
The store is insured.
Plus, you know they make us
work through lunch
so it's basically tit for tat
when you figure
in the lost wages.
- Oh, that will hold up
in court.
- [sighs]
- Hey, no pop
before dinner, sweetie.
- But she gets it.
- That's because I am
a grown up.
- Technically.
- Okay, you know,
can't you just have my back
on, like, one thing ever?
- This isn't me telling Mom
and Dad that you smoked pot.
- Which was incredibly lame,
by the way.
- This is me helping you
not ruin your life.
- Oh, because your life
is so great.
I should want this life?
- I didn't say that.
- You're like the Stepford mom
without a pulse.
- I never said that.
- You're cutting
chicken fingers into stars.
They're already fingers.
And, I mean, not to pile on,
but look who you married.
- It's 20 years
and four children.
Marriage sometimes
takes a little work.
- Wow. That is so romantic.
- You could lose your daughter.
Has that occurred to you?
- Well seeing as Greg
is suing me for custody
and I can't afford
to fight it,
yes, actually, the thought
has crossed my mind.
- I didn't know.
- Now you know.
- Hey, there, Amber here
over at Boland Motors.
- Jeez, who'd this chick
have to blow to get on TV?
- Around town.
So what are you waiting for?
A pig to fly?
So come on down
to Boland Motors
where we'll put
the vroom, vroom, vroom
back in your engine.
- Is your babysitter free?
- Mm, they took away
her license.
She's always home.
- It's this charge right here.
Could you just tell me exactly
what was bought?
- It's against policy
to divulge information
on previous purchases
for privacy concerns.
- Oh, but it's--
it's on her bill, so.
- They she should remember
what she bought.
- Well, I remember
that I bought it for a friend.
And she loved it so much.
She really went nuts for it.
Um...
But then she was
in an accident.
- With a driver texting.
- Yeah, well it was
the other driver texting.
Not my friend.
She would never do that.
But anyway, she's been
in a coma ever since
and her brain is like
ten times the size
it should be.
Um, I just thought, wouldn't it
be a nice gesture
if she wakes up--
- Hey, when she wakes up.
Stay positive.
- To have her favorite pair
of undies waiting.
'Cause she was actually
wearing the last pair
when she got in the accident.
- Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm, and the paramedics
had to cut them
off of her, you know,
jaws of life style.
- Darn it if I cannot remember
the size that I got.
And I obviously feel stupid
asking her family.
- No, can't do that.
- So could you just look it up?
- Okay! Just...
Give me one second, please.
- Damn, that was a good sell.
This is so crazy.
It's obviously going to be
something for you.
- Here it is.
This was it.
- Okay, yeah,
that's probably not for you.
*
Okay, it's going to be okay.
We're gonna have a drink.
[sighs]
We're gonna have ten drinks.
Ugh, hey, do you know
the difference
between a Manhattan
and a sidecar?
I always forget.
Something about the vermouth
whispering--
- Hey!
Guess who found those
caramel Bugles at Kroger?
What is going on?
"The Bachelorette" is on.
Hello--
- [mouthing words]
- [mouthing words]
- Dean is having...
- Huh?
- [mouthing]
- Son of a bitch.
Oh, honey.
What can we do?
- How about a screwdriver?
- A sledgehammer.
- What?
[shattering]
*
You planning on stopping this?
- Nah. You?
- Nah, I'm good.
What is it?
- Oh, my God.
- What?
Does he have another ho?
- [sighs]
[fridge door opens]
- If you're looking
for the vodka, I drank it.
- What are you doing
in the dark?
- Guess I'm used to it
after 20 years.
- What does that mean?
- It means your child bride
wears very expensive underwear.
What happened to us?
- I was stupid.
I was stupid and...
- Doesn't even matter.
Why do we have...
Three mortgages
that we haven't paid?
Why do our credit cards
all have advances on them
and we have hardly anything
in our accounts?
- I--look, I made a few bad
decisions at work.
- [quietly]
Oh, my God.
- I tried to fix it with
a couple investments
and I should have been...
Yeah, I should have been
careful.
I just--I panicked.
- We have four children.
- I know.
- Are we going to lose
this house?
- Look, I--I dropped the ball,
that's all.
- Are we going to lose
the house?
- No.
I mean, I don't know.
Maybe.
We might.
We could lose everything.
[sobbing softly]
I'm so sorry.
[upbeat pop music]
- We're gonna rob that store.
- What?
- We're gonna rob that store.
- Yes!
- Have you lost your mind?
- * Bend the rules up,
do what I say *
* Watch me roll up,
hit the valet *
* Move along now,
out of my way *
- We were just kidding
about the store, Beth.
- Hey. I wasn't.
- Well, I was.
- Why?
You need it just
as bad as we do.
- We just do it once.
And we get some money.
- Oh, dear God.
- You get to help
your little girl.
And you get to take care
of this custody thing.
And I get to save my family.
And we're done.
We never do it again.
And we don't sit back,
and let everything be taken
away from us.
No one's gonna fix this.
We have to do this ourselves.
- Mm!
* I'm gonna
show you danger *
* Follow me,
I'm blazing a trail *
* Like a wildfire
going off rails *
* All that I do,
never can fail *
* You never can fail
* It's good to be me,
no, I can't lie *
* No, no,
you know I can't lie *
* Ooh, you looking
for some danger *
* Ooh,
you looking for some danger *
* Ooh, you looking
for some danger *
* Ooh,
you looking for some danger *
* Ooh, I'm gonna
show you danger *
- What is taking so long?
- I don't know.
Hi.
How old are you?
Let me guess. Six.
Do you watch "Doc McStuffins"?
- Uh, yeah, we, um, used to
watch it in the big house.
- Move it, you little weenie.
- I'm going as fast as I can.
- Come on.
Get out of the way.
[Chris Isaak's "Baby Did
a Bad Bad Thing" playing]
*
- * Baby did
a bad, bad thing *
- You stay right there!
-* Did a bad, bad thing
* Baby did a bad, bad thing
* Baby did
a bad, bad thing *
* I feel like crying
- Holy crap.
*
We got to go.
We got to go, we got to go,
we got to go!
- Oh, sh--
- * Ooh, I feel like crying
- Let's go!
- Nope, turn around!
- Let's go, let's go, come on!
- Guys!
- We gotta go, we gotta go!
- What?
- Go, go, go, go!
- Go, go, go, go!
- Gotta go, gotta go!
- There, out there!
They're going out the back!
- * I feel like crying
- Get them.
Get them. Get them!
- [wheezing]
- Beth.
Hello?
Are you okay in there?
What's your name?
- I robbed a grocery store.
- Who's Secretary of State?
- I robbed a grocery store.
- Who is Secretary of State?
- We robbed a grocery store.
- We totally did.
- And we actually got away
with it.
- [laughs]
Like some smooth criminals.
- [laughs]
- Uh, how much did we get?
Please tell me we got the 30.
- Uh...
We got it.
- [sighs] Thank you, God.
- We got more than
the 30 grand.
- How much more?
*
.
- What in the hell?
- How is this even possible?
- Count it again.
- I counted it right.
- Count it again!
- You said there would be 30.
- I said 30 give or take.
I guess it was give.
- Why does a grocery store even
have this kind of money
on hand?
- Because it's hella shady.
I told you this was a bad idea.
- You guys are missing
the point.
We just won half
a million dollars.
- We didn't win anything.
- Half a mil, biatches!
- We didn't win it!
We stole it.
And maybe the cops
don't follow up on $30,000.
They damn sure follow up
on half a million dollars.
- What do we do?
- Nothing.
We divide it up,
and we sit on it.
Until we come up with a way
to get rid of it quietly.
Without looking like,
you know--
- Criminals.
- Yeah.
Okay?
- Yeah.
Okay.
[sucks teeth]
Okay!
[Beastie Boys'
"Hey Ladies" playing]
- * There never was a city kid
truer and bluer *
- * There's more to me than
you'll ever know *
- * And I've got more hits
than Sadaharu Oh *
* Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman,
or Tomfoolery *
* Date women on TV with
the help of Chuck Woolery *
- Hey.
- What is this?
- Turbo S--you know,
it's similar to the model
that douche-face Nancy has but
more features, more cylinders.
You know, more cooler.
- * Hey, hey, hey ladies,
hey! *
Why don't you check
under your seat.
- Who are you? Oprah?
- [as Oprah] You get a laptop,
and you get a laptop,
and you get a laptop!
- I don't get it.
- Uh, how to have fun?
Yes, I can see that.
- No, how you have money
for all of this.
- Would you just let me worry
about that?
- But--
- Who is the adult here?
- Mom--
- Who is the adult?
Who's the adult?
[sighs]
Come on, let's go tailgate
some old people.
[engine revving]
*
- Hey, Mrs. Boland.
Nice weather we're having.
- Good afternoon, Mrs. Boland.
- I'm gonna have to call
you back.
Oh, Mrs. Boland, hi.
What are you doing here?
- I'm here to clean up a mess,
Amber.
- What mess?
- You.
Sit.
Don't worry.
I mostly blame him.
He should know better.
You're obviously stupid.
Oh, it's not a knock.
We all have our strengths
and weakness.
You're a beautiful dummy.
It doesn't make you
a bad person.
So...
Here's what's going to happen.
You're going to quit
your job and my husband.
Effective immediately.
Trust me.
They're both a dead end.
This is five grand.
Enough for a plane ticket
and a little to get
you started in LA.
I do want to warn you
about something though.
- What's that?
- Those folks out there,
they take one look
at a person like you,
the pretty, the dumb,
the self-hating,
and they figure
perfect for p*rn.
- Mrs. Boland.
Why are you doing this?
- Because we both deserve more
than a liar in a pig suit.
Me more than you, but still.
- That's the nicest thing that
anyone has ever said to me.
- Wow.
Really?
Wow.
*
- Uh, Boland.
*
- * The ladies, the ladies
[engine revving]
- * Girls with curls
and big long locks *
* And beatnik chicks
- [laughs]
Whoo!
[crash]
Whoo!
*
- Oh, no.
- [laughs]
[ambient music playing]
*
- Doctor, I know you're busy,
and I won't waste your time.
But I've been doing a lot
of research here
on different dr*gs and things.
Just, um, it has like this
crazy ass name.
Um, but I know it's all
out of pocket--
Um.
You're touching me.
Why are you touching me?
- Because you've been here
for ten minutes,
and you've barely
taken a breath.
The new med's a great option.
Definitely worth trying before
we go down the transplant road.
I've got some samples.
We'll start her on it,
and see how she does.
In the meantime, let's do a CT,
creatinine clearance,
and an ultrasound.
Cover all bases.
[somber music]
- Mom.
*
- Can we get some water
in here please?
- Yes, of course.
- Oh, is cucumber infused okay?
- [crying]
Oh, my God, yes.
- [chuckles]
- Can I get lemon too?
- [whistles]
[knocking on door]
- Annie Bananey.
You forgot your paycheck.
A lot of money in here.
- Thanks.
- Hey.
How'd you have the balls
to do it?
What, you and the girls
get all coked up
or something beforehand?
- What?
- I saw your ass tat.
- I don't know
what you're talking about.
- How many chicks have
a tramp stamp
that says
"All You Need Is Love"?
- It's a very popular song.
- Okay.
Well, then, guess
you won't mind
if I go to the cops then,
right?
I mean, if it wasn't you I'm
sure you got some explanation
for how you bought all this
on minimum wage.
I didn't say nothing.
Cops came around,
but I didn't tell 'em.
- What do you want?
You want money?
- It's not like that.
- What's it like then?
- I got your back, okay?
I'm gonna keep
my mouth shut.
- Thanks.
- I mean, I'm really gonna try.
I am.
I hope I can.
I don't know.
I just get so lonely,
and well...
[chuckles]
Sorry to be crass here,
but, uh...
Horny.
Too.
I just want to sh**t
my mouth off.
Talk and talk until I'm...
.
[soft music]
*
- Can we just get it over
with, okay?
- All right, hey, hey.
I'm not some wham, bam,
thank you ma'am.
You know?
I need a little romance.
*
- Mom.
- Hi, honey.
I thought you were asleep.
And...here it is!
Found it.
He lost some change
in the couch so I was...
just helping him find it.
- Thanks, thank you.
- Yeah, no problem.
Oh, Sadie, honey,
this is my, uh,
Boomer.
I work with him at work.
- Hi.
- You know, so,
but he has to go now.
Because he was--he has to--
- Uh...
Use quarters on the
vending machines, I was gonna--
and maybe fill a meter or two,
you know, surprise someone.
- Hey, that's nice.
- Yeah, pay it forward.
Or whatever.
- [whispers] Just go.
- You know, uh...
Since I have all this
bus fare now,
I'll probably be back
real soon.
[door opens]
[door closes]
- Morning.
I'm gonna need the PINs
and passcodes to the accounts.
Mortgage, bank, credit cards.
- Uh...
It's "2fast2furious."
It's the number two.
You know, like the movie.
- I know it's a movie.
That's for all of them?
- Yeah.
- I handled the mortgage.
- [stammers]
But how'd you do that?
- I handled it
because you couldn't.
And this thing that we do...
Where you bring home the bacon,
and I don't ask any questions,
that's--that's over.
- Does that mean we get
to stay in the house?
- It means I get to stay
in the house with the kids.
You get to go to a motel.
Your clothes are in the car.
- Still no leads
on last week's
armed robbery
of Fine and Frugal.
A rep from the local police--
- You don't think it's weird?
- What?
- Our GoFundMe page
has been up for years.
Some anonymous donor rolls
in now with all that cash?
- It's a miracle.
Why question it?
[both laughing]
See this?
- I do.
- Yeah, yeah?
[both laughing]
[gentle music]
*
- Our girl's coming back.
- Yeah.
- [laughs]
- Hey, oh--oh--
okay, bruiser.
All right, ease up now.
You got him.
- Ugh!
- Look at you.
[dog whimpers]
- Hey, buddy, what's wrong?
You need to go potty?
Need to pee-pee?
- Nah, he's good.
- [screams]
- We already took him out.
- What do you want?
- Oh, relax, sweetheart.
I just need you to call
your lady friends
over so we can all have...
A little talk.
- About what?
- Oh, about the money
you stole from us.
*
.
- Yo, this backsplash is dope.
What's that made out of,
marble?
Yo, you ever get any problems
with staining back here?
Like if you cookin' a big pot
of spaghetti sauce
or something like that?
- No, I don't think so.
- No?
Hmm.
- We didn't know you
owned the store.
- [chuckles]
I look like some kind of
grocery store manager to you?
What, like Rotary Club
or somethin'?
Nah, let's just say that we got
certain "arrangements"
with some local businesses.
I mean, we help each other out
and what not, you know?
- Like money laundering
for dr*gs?
[whispers]
Told you it was shady.
- Why don't you stop worrying
about my business dealings
and start figuring how you
gonna pay me my money back.
- We can get it back.
- That'd be great.
- Most of it.
- Sorry, what?
- Some of it for sure.
- [chuckles]
- [exhales] Oh, what, like
you guys didn't spend a dime?
- How much, Annie?
- I don't know.
I don't know, I probably
spent like--like 100.
Grand.
- What?
I'm gonna sh**t you myself.
- Nah, you just gonna pay me
back is all.
And right quick too.
With interest.
- [crying]
- So...see you real soon, yeah?
You know, you really got
to be careful, ladies.
I mean, with citrus on marble,
like lemon and whatnot,
that stuff will erode
like crazy.
*
- Why can't Daddy come home?
- Your Daddy
and I love you so much.
And I know it's confusing.
Daddy's got to stay here
while he and I work on
some grown up stuff.
You can have whatever
candy you want
from the vending machines,
okay?
all: Yay!
- Hey.
- Pick the kids up from school
and bring them straight
back here.
Don't go to the park
or anywhere.
- I can't have the kids here.
I've got like one twin bed.
- You have to.
You just have to.
- What's going on?
- I can't tell you.
- Wait, stop.
Are you okay?
Just take care of my babies.
- Hey, who wants--
who wants pizza?
- I do!
- Yay! Me! Me!
*
- I would have picked you up
down the block,
but your cell was off.
- Where's the Porsche?
- I sold it.
I had to.
[car door shuts]
- Is that a cassette deck?
- What?
- And manual roll down
windows?
Yas, queen.
Mm-hmm, cloth interior.
Nice.
Leather burns your ass.
- How'd you get
to be so awesome?
- I don't ride in Porsches.
[door lock jingles]
- [deep voice]
Who is it?
I said, who is it?
- Me.
- Stan!
- [chuckling]
What the hell are you doing?
- I want an alarm system,
and you--please fix
the back gate.
- I said I would.
- Yeah, you said it.
But it just sits there
wide open.
- You got your bat out.
You know you could have gotten
a Kn*fe out the drawer, baby.
All right, all right.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- God.
- Calm down.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
You scared?
Your hearts b*ating.
Come here. Breathe.
Breathe.
What'd I tell you?
All this right here is all
the security you need, baby.
- Hm.
- You don't need no Wiffle bat.
- Is that so?
- Yeah, that's so.
Because your man here--hold on.
Is no longer gonna
be trailing teenagers
at the Great Steak N' Fry.
- You applied to
the police academy?
- I did.
Yeah, I didn't tell you
in case I got rejected.
Brother ain't get rejected.
Aw, Detroit's finest, baby.
Protect and serve.
Give me some.
[tapping]
- Where are we at?
- Short.
- By how much?
- Over 60 grand.
- [sighs]
- What about the car?
- I took it back.
Lost over half its value,
B-T-dubs.
- Well, maybe you
shouldn't have
bought it in the first place.
- My, what a helpful
contribution.
Let me just grab
my time machine.
- Oh, my God, we should just
go to the police.
- Wait. What?
- We haven't done anything
that bad yet.
We don't have records.
- Uh, yes, now we do.
- If we just explain
to them that--
- Explain what?
That we meant well?
Gee, officer, we're sorry,
we didn't mean to piss
off the g*ng.
We just wanted to rob
the grocery store.
- Okay, I'm just trying
not to die, okay?
If you have a better plan--
- Actually, yes, I do.
We should take it
from somewhere else.
We'll just steal it,
and then we'll pay them back.
And then we'll just put
the whole thing to bed.
- Bitch, are you out
of your mind?
- Enough!
- That's the best
possible plan.
- Enough!
Enough.
We're gonna get that money.
We're gonna figure it out.
Because we are strong
and we are resourceful.
And we've accomplished way
harder than this.
I once made 300 damn cupcakes
in one night,
and they were both nut
and gluten free.
- Kid still had
an allergy att*ck.
- And you don't always have
to fact check me, okay?
[sighs]
I'm gonna take a shower.
I smell like booze and crime.
- I'll call you tomorrow.
*
[shower water running]
[French pop music]
*
[knocking on door]
- [sighs]
Come on.
I, uh--
- Bad time?
- Very.
- Hey.
Come on.
Don't be rude.
- Oh, God.
Boomer, you're wasted.
- You know I was just thinking
about how we didn't finish...
What we started.
- Boomer, it's not--stop.
Stop.
- What?
*
Why don't we just have
a little bit
of fun...
- Boomer, hey, hey, stop!
My sister is here!
- Yeah?
Huh, is she hot?
[water splashing]
- [sighs]
- I'll be fast, I promise.
- [grunts]
- Did you just hit me?
- [panting]
[grunts]
[grunting]
No!
Ah, stop! No!
You're hurting me!
- That's how you like it,
right, tough girl?
- Stop, no!
- Come on, you can rob
a store, right?
- Get off of her!
- Whoa.
Hey.
Hey, hey. Easy.
All right, no need
to get upset.
All right?
No need to get upset.
- Oh, do I look upset?
Why would I be upset?
'Cause every man in the world
thinks he can do whatever
he wants, whenever he wants.
- Okay, okay, hey, we were just
having a little bit of fun.
All right?
- Oh, is that was that was?
'Cause you see...
When a lady screams "stop"
it is usually because she is
not having the time
of her life.
But what do I know?
Now you're gonna pull
up your pants,
and you are gonna get the hell
out of here.
[yells]
Get out!
- Is that a...toy g*n?
- No.
- Yeah, it is.
- No, it's not.
- Okay, then.
sh**t me.
Stupid b*tches.
You're going down.
- Boomer.
Boomer, please, please.
You need money, right?
We can get you money.
- Oh, no, I'm turning you in.
Boomer, please, please.
- You know how fast
they're gonna lock you up?
And take away your loser kid?
- No, Boomer. Please.
- Yeah, your dumbass
sister too.
The two of you are so done.
You're gonna rot in jail.
You think you're so much better
than everyone.
Well, now you are finished.
It is over!
- No, please.
[screams]
[thud]
- [groaning]
Ow!
- Oh, my God.
- God.
You've--
[tense music]
- Oh.
[gasps]
[glass shatters]
[both scream]
- Oh, my--oh, my--
*
- Is he?
He's not.
- No.
- Are you sure?
- [whimpers]
No.
*
What do we do now?
*
- Well, we're not going
to the police.
*
[French pop music]
01x01 - Pilot
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Sisters Beth and Annie and their best friend Ruby become fed up with playing by the rules and not getting the respect they deserve, they band together to take control of their lives.
Sisters Beth and Annie and their best friend Ruby become fed up with playing by the rules and not getting the respect they deserve, they band together to take control of their lives.