01x08 - Shutdown

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on
"Good Girls"...

- Who is that guy?
- He works for me.

- Where am I?

- I'm a friend of your
friend's.

- You want to bring other
people into this now?

- We've got a system
that works.

- So what's a secret shopper?

- The more you buy and return,

the more money
you're gonna make!

- You think you can slip in
fake cash with the real

and I ain't gonna notice?
- We would never do that!

- No! Maybe it was one of the
women!

- How would you know that

I turned in
the exact same cash.

I don't know what
you've gotten me involved in,

but it's something super shady.

- An arrest you made this week
gave us a man on the inside.

- Did you get to put
on the cuffs?

- Maybe.

- I got cola, tina, molly,
oxy, K, addys,

and fat bags of herb.

- I'll take all of it.

- Wow, I didn't think
you had it in you.

- 10,000.

- So we're good now, right?
- Yeah.

Till next month.

[dog whines]

[dog chewing]

[dog continues whining]

[dog whining]

[suspenseful music]

♪

♪

[indistinct chatter on TV]

- Where is it?
- Huh?

- The money, Dean,
where is it?

- What are you talking about?

- The cash that was all over
the kitchen,

it's gone, it's all gone.

- Okay, calm down.
- Did you take it?

- No! Are you seriously
accusing me right now?

- You don't have the best
track record with money, Dean.

- I didn't touch
your stupid money!

- Okay, who took it?

- I don't know.
Who knows about it?

Jeez, man.

[heavy breathing]

- Why did you take my money?

- Mm-mm.

My money. Mine.

We're gonna be shutting things
down for a while.

- What does that even mean?

- One of my associates
got picked up.

When I feel heat,
I don't mess around.

My bad. Do you want some?

- No.
- You sure?

They put the--
they put the hash brown

on the inside
of this thing.

- I don't understand.

- Me neither, like--
And they're still so crispy.

- No, I'm talking
about the shutdown.

- Mm.

Yeah.

Yeah, you closed for business.

- But you took all of it.

- So?

- So part of that was our cut!

We worked our asses off
for that money!

- What do you want me to say?

It's a company-wide shutdown.

And if I got closing costs,
everybody feels the pain.

- You can't just mess
with people's lives like that!

- You want to know
what I can't do?

I can't do five to 15
in FCI Milan

'cause some b*tches
need their pocket money.

- How long?

- Excuse me?

- How long are we shut down?

- Till further notice.

- How long?

- I don't know.

- Like a week?

- I don't know.

- If you had to guess.

- Okay. Six months!

- Six months?
- I don't know!

I mean, when are we gonna
put a man on Mars?

- A couple years tops.

I just feel like we're close,
you know?

- So what are we gonna do
about the secret shoppers?

- We tell them corporate's
revamping the program.

- Okay, yeah,
I guess I'd buy that.

- What about our friendly
neighborhood

blackmailer
up our ass?

- Well, we just paid her, so
at least we have some time.

- What about us?

- What about us?

- I mean, what are we
supposed to do?

Go back to working like dogs

and barely scraping by?

- I guess we go legit
for a while.

- [sighs]

- So the dogs
and the scraping.

- I like the word
"legit" better.

[dramatic music]

- I mean, seriously,
how long has it been

since we've had a playdate?

- Forever!

- Bethie's always so busy.

- Yeah.

Right?

Beth?

["Dreamers" by K.Flay]

- Not anymore.

- You know, there is so much
that we need help with

at the school right now.

- Oh, pancake breakfast!

And, eh, fall clean-up.

- Silent auction!

- Oh, do you know
what Taft did?

They let you bid on a parking
spot close to the school.

- That is genius.

- So convenient!

- Higher, Mommy, higher!

- ♪ What would I do different
if I hit rewind ♪

♪ And did it again?

♪ I tried to figure it out

♪ But nothing
was coming to mind ♪

♪ Remembered
all my mistakes ♪

♪ But the memories
made me smile ♪

- Well, I mean, the urinals
could use a little more love.

- I just started in here.

- No one excused their way
to the top.

- ♪ This one goes out
to all the dreamers at sea ♪

- Speaking of--

- Urinals?

- I was hoping I could maybe
pick up a couple more shifts.

I'll take graveyard,
or whatever you have is fine.

- Why?

What's going on?

- I need the money.

- Was the bling ring
not panning out?

- ♪ I want more

- Here's what I like...
[clears throat]

You've been, uh,
passing the drug tests

with flying colors.

- One day at a time, right?

- And you've shown
a real willingness

to take on new challenges.

So that's all good.

My concern

is still the overall attitude.

- I'll work on it.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

And hey, come back in an hour

and I'll have this place

shining like fine silver.

- Look at you, Annie Bananie.

You've come a long way.

- Thanks.

- And I'll, uh...

Try to get you on the schedule
a little more.

- ♪ This life is only
what you want it to be ♪

- Urinals.

- ♪ I want more,
I want more ♪

- You just talk
to local businesses,

see what they might be willing
to donate.

- It's a chance
to be really creative.

- Bolton Travel donated

a hot air balloon ride
last year.

- No way.

- What if I hadn't asked?

- Thank God you did!

- Welcome to Dandy Donuts.
What can I get for you?

- "Dandy Day."

- What?

- "On this dandy day."

- Sorry. What can I get for you
on this dandy day?

[radio chatter]

Can you repeat that?

- Three glazed, a maple bar,
and a coffee.

- You heard?

- Three glazed and a maple,
stat!

- How could you hear that?

Thank you.

- Whoa, whoa, did they ask
for extra sugar?

- They coulda.

- But did they?

- Dude, it literally
sounds like

they're speaking Mandarin
with a stutter out there.

- Okay, we don't do
extra sugar.

- Okay.

- Come on, hustle!
The line is backing up!

- ♪ This one goes out to all
the dreamers at sea ♪

- Thank you.

- Dandy day!

- Have yourself a dandy day!

- ♪ I want more

- How much?
- 1,900.

- Is that it?

- It's all I can spare
right now.

- Same.

- I can try and squeeze a
tiny bit more out of Dean.

I'm getting an allowance again.

Don't look at me like that,
he offered it and I took it.

- Hey, I am not throwing
stones.

Last night, I got donut fat
in my eye.

- I found a dead cat
in a produce truck,

not that it's a competition.

- Well, it's not ten grand,

but it's still a payday
in my book.

- I mean, do you think
she'll take it?

- She'll take it
and she'll like it.

Screw this bitch!

I am so tired
of this trick!

We are shut the hell down.

What does she want? Blood?

- Hey! Hey! Over here!

[cheering]

- Who is that?

- I don't know.

Must have me confused
with someone else.

- Well, we do all look alike.

- Right?

- Ruby! Hey!

- Okay, she don't look
confused.

- Hi!

- Oh, wait. I do know her.

- Oh, yeah? From school?

- No.

- Hi!

- Yeah, hello.
- It's good to see you!

- Hi.

- Which one is yours?

- Uh, in the yellow.

- Well, they're all in yellow.

[laughter]

- No, our daughter, she's on
the bench down there.

She's not feeling too great.

- Oh.
- Hi, I'm Stan.

- Mary Pat.

Oh, she's so sweet.

- Yeah. Which one is yours?

- Well, Benji here
might be starting soon.

We're just gonna, kind of,
check out the program.

Hey, Mister, did you ever hear
of a napkin?

Oh, come on, don't--

Gosh, I hope I have some wipes.

Um...could--Do you mind?
Actually, just like--

Oh, wait! Found some.

Phew!

- So I guess this little guy
here's gonna be a few years

before he gets his cleats, huh?

- That's right.

You didn't tell me

that you're married
to a police officer!

- Oh, he's not a real cop yet.

- Oh, okay, now. Almost there.

- Well, thank you, Stan,

for almost protecting our city.

- She's funny, this one.

- She'll keep you on your toes.

- Hey, can I, um, can I ask you
about a police matter?

- He's off duty.

- What if somebody stole money
out of my mail?

- Yeah? How much?

- Uh, about 8,000 bucks.

- Seriously?

Wow, that's federal level.

- You know, um, I was really
counting on it, too.

And they left me a little bit,

but not nearly enough to get

through my bills
and everything.

Come on, Mister,
you're making this much harder

than it needs to be.

Does anybody have
any hand sanitizer, or...

- You need me to hold something
else for you--

- No, it's just, like, really
caked on here for some reason,

give me your hand.

- Maybe it was
a misunderstanding,

the money in your mail thing.

- You know, I don't think so,

'cause I feel like
I was pretty clear.

Yes, I was, wasn't I?

Mama was so clear.

- Hey, that make you want
to try for a third?

- Hey, um,

what if I think
I know who did it?

- Could file a report.

- Oh, can I do that with you?

- Yeah, sure, come on down
to the station.

- Super.
- Yeah.

- I just might do that.

- Come on, now,
let's bring it home!

Come on, let's go!

[cheering]

- Well, it was really nice
to meet you...

- You too.
- Officer.

All right, let's go, come on!

- Wait, your diaper bag.

- Gonna need that
before the day's over.

Thank you. Come on.

- Ooh, she is an odd bird.

- You have no idea.

.

- What does "Minions"
mac and cheese taste like?

- Mac and cheese.

- What about "Ninja Turtles?"

- Mac and cheese.

- So...

- We gotta pay her! Now!

Before she ruins my damn life!

- What are you talking about?

- Mary Pat! She showed up
to Sara's soccer game

and threatened to tell Stan.

- Wait, what?
- What?

- Yeah, and if she tells him,

he's not gonna look
the other way.

He's not Dean.

- No, he's a good person.

- He's a cop, you guys!

He'll leave me so fast
he'll leave tread marks.

- Then we've got to get her
her money.

- How? I'm working seven days
a week,

doubles and graveyards,
and I still can't afford

all the multiple genres
of lawyers.

- You don't have to tell me!

- I hate to say it...

- Wow.

- What else are we gonna do?

- I'm just surprised that you
want to rob something again.

- I don't want to.

- But you don't not want to.

- I want to stay ahead
of a bad situation,

and I'm not just talking
about the Mary Pat thing.

- Every cent I saved went

towards those
damn hospital bills.

- Exactly, and my mortgage is
paid now,

but what about next month?

- So what are we talking
about here?

[suspenseful music]

- I was thinking
something kind of low-stress,

like a 7/11.

- I can get behind that.

- Except for the one
on Lynwood,

because I got him
to sponsor the school.

- Good for you.

- Well, I'm out.

- You're out?

- It's just not a good time
for me to get back into crime.

- Well, can we sync up iCals
so I know when is?

- I'm facing a felony
drug charge!

I gotta keep a low profile.

- Well, you b*tches
didn't ask me

if I wanted
to kidnap a dude!

- That's true.
- It's different.

- Well, now it's my turn,
and I ain't asking!

♪

Come on!

♪

- You know what all this is?

- No.

- 'Cause your principal says
that you and some girls

shoplifted this and tried
to sell it at lunch.

- Hey, eyes up here.

- Is that true?

- No, I--
- Uh-uh.

- The other girls--
- Nope.

- I didn't--
- Try again.

- Will you please
let her speak?

- Well? Speak!

- It's not mine.

- Then how did this box
end up in your locker?

- She said it wasn't hers.

- So it just magically
appeared?

Harry Potter style?

- Well, not all of it's mine.

- Damn it.

- Uh-uh. Keep talking.

- Kendall sells the makeup.

Madison does the candy.

And I...

I move the fidget spinners.

- You stole fidget spinners?

- She moved them, Stan.

Our child moves
the fidget spinners!

- All right. Easy, now.

- Our child speaks the language
of the streets!

- Why?

Baby, why would you do that?

- The other girls do it
all the time.

- So if they jumped off a
high-rise, you would do it?

Ran across a busy freeway?
- Mom--

- Robbed a bank?
- Okay, okay.

- Just because other girls
do crazy, stupid-ass stuff

doesn't make it okay.

You wouldn't do those things,

so why in the hell
would you do this?

- They used to make fun
of the oxygen t*nk weirdo.

[melancholy music]

Now, they don't.

I'm dope.

- Stealing doesn't make
you dope, Sara.

It just makes you a dope.

- She's right, you a dope!

Now, go to your bedroom,
I need to talk to your mom.

Now.

[sighs]

You really need to get ahold of
yourself, you're scaring her.

- Good.

- Babe, she messed up, okay?

Agreed.

- She didn't just mess up;
she's a criminal.

- Strong word.

- Right word.

- I'm just saying,
you know,

we gotta keep a level
head here.

- You're a cop,
for God's sake.

- Yeah, and before that,
I was mall security,

and I saw kids do this stuff
all the time.

Okay, it's just a phase,
baby.

- Phases become habits,
habits become problems.

And then suddenly,
our little girl's giving

handies on the street
for a fidget spinner!

- Oh my God.

You gotta breathe, okay?

Just, with me, now,
take a deep breath.

- She's gotta return
everything, all of it!

- No doubt.

- Apologize to the store owner.
- She'll do that.

- Write letters
to the teachers,

she's gonna wash the dishes
for at least a month,

maybe six, she's gonna
do the leaves!

- We will do whatever it takes,

just--
- Yeah.

- We will do whatever it takes.

- Yeah, we will.

- Oh, hi.

- Who is it?

- It's carol singers!

- It's a CD on a boombox.

It doesn't even sound
like real carolers.

- Just suspend your disbelief.

["Silent Night"
plays in movie]

- Not to state
the obvious here,

but, uh, you're aware
that's your best friend's wife,

right, dude? What?
- Mom!

- I'm just saying.

Extremely wonderful
cue cards or not,

he's a scumbag, and he
shouldn't be hitting on her.

- Well, I mean,
she's not innocent either.

She kisses him.

- You guys are maybe the worst
people

to watch a movie with.

I'm gonna go do homework.

["Silent Night" continues]

- [sighs]

How you been?

- Fine. You?

- Fine.

- Great.

- What's new at work?

- Nothing much.

- Got me peeing into a cup.

- That sucks.

- Yeah.

Hey, you know what else sucks?
- Hmm?

- Supervised visits
with my own child.

- It's not my fault.

- Nothing ever is, is it?

♪

- Look, if you want
to talk about it,

we should just talk about it.

- What do you want
to talk about, Greg?

- You know what I want
to talk about.

I want to talk about
what happened.

If you want to talk about it,

let's talk about it
like adults.

- [scoffs]
Please. Why start now?

- Because this is--

Hey.

- Oh my God, did you get
to the cue card scene yet?

Ugh, I love that part.

- I bet you do.

- Yeah, apparently,
quite controversial.

- Really?

Oh, I wish I didn't have to go
to work.

- Ugh, is there a zit
only you can pop?

- [giggles]

Actually, we just
opened a third location.

It's crazy, but I love helping
women

feel good about themselves,
so...

If you want, I could help you
with that little divot

in your forehead there, just...

[smacks lips]

One sh*t.

- I'm good.
- Okay.

Oh, actually, um...

Do you mind not leaning
all the way back on the couch?

Sorry, I know it's weird,

it's just, um, your--

Your hair oils, they tend
to get on the pillows.

- I'm sorry?

- I noticed it last week
when you were here.

It's this--
it's this stupid fabric.

It is impossible to clean.

Yeah.

Normally, I would
never say anything,

it's just the covers
and the shams,

they're--they're new.

- It's just 'cause they're new.

- Yeah, we just bought them.
- Mm.

- Okay, well, have so much fun,
you guys.

- Mm-hmm.

- I love you, Mister Man.

- [sighs]

- I love you too! Okay.

Bye!

[knocking on door]

- Do you know what time it is?

- It's show time, baby.

Hey, have you ever heard
of hair oils?

Is that like a thing
people say?

I mean, it's definitely not,
right?

- What is going on?

- We're not robbing no 7/11!

.

- You want to hit a day spa?

- She just opened
a third location.

And I'm telling you,
these places are flush.

I can't find your K-cups!

- Maybe it's the universe
saying you've had enough.

- [gasps]

♪ Dark magic

- You know!

So won't Nancy see us?

- No, I signed her up
to be Sadie's chaperone

on a field trip.

So, okay, check it.

All three mall locations
have the exact same layout,

so I figure we split up,

and we hit them all
simultaneously, you know?

Just like, boom, boom, boom!

- Hang on, boom, boom, boom.

What happened to
"I have a felony drug charge?"

- Well, if we don't use g*ns,

is it even really a crime?

- Yeah.

- Or...

Is it a gentle redistribution
of wealth?

- Plus, Nance has it coming.

- So, wait, how do we get past
security if we don't have g*ns?

- These places don't
have security,

they don't even have cameras.

- No cameras?
- It's a spa.

Everybody's naked, yo!

- So?

- So I was thinking more along
the lines of an ATM.

But suck it, Nance!

- Suck it, Nance!

["She's Got g*ns"
by The Go! Team [UK]]

♪

- ♪ He checks the ground
while she takes the stairs ♪

♪ He got the flex
but she has the flair ♪

♪ He got ego
but she doesn't care ♪

♪ Got a problem, honey,
go and take it over there ♪

♪ Flexing, she didn't
come to play with toys ♪

♪ Fading, to the back while
she bringing the bounce ♪

♪ Don't you know
that she's got 'em ♪

♪ Tasting victory
make a crowd wanna shout ♪

♪ When they see
that she got 'em ♪

- ♪ Pick it up, pick it up

- ♪ She got g*ns that
make you feel like a flop ♪

- ♪ Pick it up, pick it up

- ♪ Here she comes and now
you be like, aaah ♪

- ♪ Work it out,
work it out ♪

- ♪ She got g*ns that
make you feel like a flop ♪

- ♪ Work it out,
work it out ♪

♪ Making runs, you know
she just don't stop ♪

- So where do they
keep the cash?

- Everybody pays
with credit cards.

- Then how do we get the money?

- Oh, we're not going
after the money.

- ♪ Pick it up,
pick it up ♪

- ♪ She got the g*ns that
make you feel like a flop ♪

- ♪ Pick it up,
pick it up ♪

- ♪ Here she comes
and now you be like, aaah ♪

- ♪ From Detroit to the UK

♪ In the studio with the DYC

♪ From Detroit to the UK

♪ In the studio with the DYC

♪

- Smooth, right?

- Like taking candy
from a baby.

Okay, where's Annie?

[tires screeching]

- Please insert ticket.

- I did insert my ticket,
you d*ck.

[suspenseful music]

♪

[line trilling]

Come on!

Yeah, hi, your machine ate
my ticket and I need to leave.

- You have reached
the parking office.

No one is here to answer
your call.

- [whimpering]

Oh, God.

[line trilling]

- She's not answering.

Come on, Annie.

[phone vibrating]

- You're insane!

- All I'm saying is
I don't get the hype.

- But it's objectively good!

- You can't say something's
objectively good.

At least "Miss Saigon"
had a helicopter.

- Oh my God.

- It's a million songs
at a desk.

I'm at a desk, yo,
and I'm writing, yo.

[screams]

- Roll it down!

Come on!

- Please don't hurt us,
we don't have any cash!

- I need your parking ticket!

- What?
- What?

- Give me your parking ticket!

- Okay, okay.
- Come on, hurry up!

- Right there.
It's right there.

- Hurry up, hurry up!

All right, now, put your head
between your legs,

and count to ten!
- Okay.

- No, make it 20!
- Okay!

[together]
One, two, three...

- What'd you do?
Stop for burgers?

- What are you,
the punctuality police?

Jesus! Come on,
let's just pool the loot.

- Here.

- Yo, A-Dawg.

- That's your connection?

- He looks like he just
came from SAT prep.

- Chill, it's all been
arranged.

'Sup, D-Man?

These are my colleagues.

- Yo.

- Yo.
- Yo.

- So what do you got?

- Before we talk business,
I got a question.

How rich is rich enough
for you?

- Depends. What are we talkin'?
Like 401k rich?

Asset rich? Cash rich?

- Mm. Give me the dream.

- Oh, man.

Okay, well, uh...

Place on Nantucket
with a catamaran,

couple show dogs, you know.

Pimpin' hard like
Larry Ellison.

- Tight, tight.

Well, we'd like to help you
get there.

- Hell yeah.

- What I've got in here
is more addictive than oxy,

costs more per ounce
than Bolivia's finest,

and is as pure
as a glacier stream.

Feast your eyes.

- What am--what am I supposed
to do with this?

- Move it, baby!

- I can't sell this junk.

- Wait. What?

- Okay,

look, my clientele
isn't really into, um,

personal upkeep.

- I thought you talked to him,
Annie.

- I thought it was
pre-arranged.

- It was. Uh, Darren,

I'm not understanding what's
changed

since our convo in the
frozen foods aisle,

'cause you were in.

- You said injectables!

- These are injectables.

- I thought you meant heroin!

- Oh, no.

- Look, I wish
I could help you,

it's just, you know,
the cosmetic stuff,

not my jam.

- You sell allergy medication
to people without allergies!

- Yeah, they use 'em
to make meth!

- This shiz is medical grade!

People are gonna pay
top dollar!

- I'm really sorry
for the miscomm.

- Oh my God.

- [scoffs]

- Is this gonna make things
weird between us at work?

- Yeah, maybe!

- Well, um, nice
meeting you guys.

Just gonna--gotta go.

Bye.

♪

.

- What are we gonna do? We
still owe that bitch eight g's.

- I wonder how much
we can get for it.

- 30, maybe 40 grand.

- We got nothing, 'cause we
can't unload it!

- So we hit a snag!

- Don't worry, done deal,
piece of cake.

What am I leaving out?

- Easy peasy.

- I would never say
"easy peasy."

So sue me, I didn't know it
would come down

to drug dealer semantics.

- There is a difference
between injectables

and injecting heroin.

- Well, this is how we learn.

- I can't believe you made us
do this for nothing.

- Oh, I made you?

That's rich coming from you,
Ms. "I ain't askin'."

And you, with your judge-y
face

that I can feel from here,

I cannot!

'Cause we all know that this
month has been k*lling you.

- It has not.
- Oh!

You've been crawling
out of your skin

like a frog in a slow boil,
baby.

- She's not wrong.

- Oh, great. You too?
Pile it on.

- Oh, it's all so banal,

the PTA, the playdates,
the yoga!

Each day, the flame
grows a little hotter.

- She's been missing
that hood life!

- Right?

Peace.

- Whoa, whoa, wait, you're just
gonna leave us here with this?

- You know what?
I did my part.

You handle this.

[door opens]

- Wait, wait, wait,
you're leaving too?

- I gotta haul Sara's fast ass
down to the station

and scare her straight.
- Why?

- 'Cause that little heifer
has been slinging

stolen fidget spinners
on the playground.

- Sara?

- Like mother, like daughter,
I guess.

- Hey, you know that's not
the reason why.

- Yeah, right.

Love you.

- Love you.

[door opens]

- So you just want me
to scare her a little, right?

- I want you to put
the fear of God in her.

Cuff her, Tase her,
pepper spray,

whatever it takes.

- [laughs]

- I'm dead serious.

- Look, I get it.

I worry about my kid, too.

She's gonna be fine;
you guys are great parents.

She has good role models.

- Yeah, right.

- You ready to see
how this works?

- Do I have to?

- She's ready.

- You like bunk beds, Sara?

- Oh, she's been begging us
for bunk beds.

Is that right?

- I want you to think of this
as an opportunity

to grow during the downtime.

A chance to really
flip your game,

in a way that, if it's not
completely legal,

it is totally FDA-approved.
- Mm-hmm.

- This is essentially
liquid money.

I mean, it's literally liquid,
but...

- It's garbage.
This stuff's poison.

- Not any more so than
the substances your guys deal.

- Who would I even sell it to?

- Don't you know someone?

- That rolls with a bunch
of middle-aged ladies?

Nah, man, not so much.

How's your rotten egg?

- I don't know what
you're talking about.

- You said you handled it.

- I did.

- Then why you trying to play
me with this side-hustle stuff?

I told you, we're shut down.

- And I told you
I have expenses.

I have four children,
a mortgage,

I can't just shut down--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

She got you on the hook,
now, right?

- I said I'm handling it!

- Okay.

[laughs]

You think you're a boss,
now, huh?

Your lily ass does two jobs
and all of the sudden,

you think you
run the whole game?

Let me tell you something,
you ain't no boss.

And on the real,
you ain't gonna be nothing

till you get your house
in order.

And you best not put
that stuff in your face.

You don't need it.

- When you're in my house,
you mind your business.

You're sharing your space
with g*ng bangers, murderers,

people you don't want to mess
with, let alone sleep next to.

- So they just put everyone
in all together?

There's not like a separate
white collar cell?

- One big melting pot.

- You okay, Mom?

- Yeah, you know,
it's just hot in here.

- You got chow at 7:00,

clean up at 7:30,
and then, you gotta shower.

- And what does she shower in?

- A group.

You make a circle, then
rotate under the shower head.

- No, I meant,
like, shower shoes?

- Your shoes
are your shower shoes.

You don't want to get them wet?

You take your chances
with the fungi,

and don't expect
hot water neither.

- And what if she has to,
um, use the--

- There's your bathroom,

your kitchen, your sink,

everything.

- Wait, so people just go
right there?

Like, in front of everybody?

Even number--

- All the numbers.

And most of the time,
there won't be toilet paper.

- Okay. Thank you, Denise,
but I think--

I think she gets it.

- There are things you can do
for a square,

but you don't want to.

- Yeah, well,
we really need to get home.

- You're home with me, ladies!

[laughs]

Welcome home!

- Okay, we gotta get
out of here.

- No can do!
It's not rec time.

- Oh my God,
let me out of here!

- Hey, how was your day?

- Has our credit rebounded
enough to qualify for a loan?

- Well, we put a dent in our
debt, that's for sure.

- Yes or no?
- No.

Look, I know you don't want
to tell me what's going on.

- I need cash fast.

- How much?

- 10 grand.

- Does that have anything to do
with the many vials

of liquid hashish I just saw
in the garage?

- It's not liquid hashish.

- Oh, well...

[clears throat]

What is it then?

Why don't you let me help you?

- I don't know that you can.

- Maybe not, but what
do you got to lose?

[suspenseful music]

- Mr. Boland, I don't have you
down for an appointment today.

- Hey, got a minute?

- I'm with a patient.

- It's slow-growing.
You'll be fine.

How's that Buick treating you?

- Fine.

- You know any dermatologists?

- I can't believe
it was all three!

You know, like, I would get it
if it was just one, you know?

But...

Oh, God...

- Hey.

Want some more water?

- I'm just...

What are we gonna do?

I mean, 'cause I just...

Oh, no, um...

Of course. Yeah.

Sure. Um...

Thank you for letting me know.

Yeah, you too.

Okay, bye.

- Sorry, I was just gonna--

You okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- I mean, your insurance
is gonna cover it, right?

- What are you talking about?

- Sadie told me you got robbed.

- [scoffs]

That's like the least of it.

Do I look like a total raccoon
right now?

- No.

You look great.

- Oh my God, it's like--

Ugh, it's these hormones.

I'm, like, sh**ting up
like a junkie.

And for nothing,
because apparently,

I only make these, like,

crappy unicorn embryos

with, like, horns or something.

- How long have
you been trying?

- This is, like,
our fourth round,

or like, fifth, I honestly--
I can't even keep track

it's been so...

And I literally cannot
stop crying.

I can't.

Stop! Stop! Stop!

[somber music]

.

- You're blocking me in!

- You're leaving? Why did you
tell me to get extra anchovies?

- God. You're a d*ck.

- What?

- Just move your car,
all right?

- Whoa, what the hell's wrong
with you?

- How long have you
been doing IVF?

- Oh, God.
- Yeah!

- I was gonna tell you.

- When? Mid-bone?

- Oh, gross.

- You were having sex with me

while your wife was injecting
herself full of baby hormones!

- I didn't plan on it,
obviously,

it just, kind of--

happened, you were there!

- No, a solar eclipse
just happens!

Two people decide to sleep
with each other!

- What am I supposed to do?

Leave her and marry you?
We tried that,

it didn't work, remember?

What do you want me to do,
Annie?

- I want you to move your car.

[sighs]

- Door's open! Come in!

Okay, guys, ten more minutes,
okay?

And then, it's homework time.

[baby fussing]

Hey.

Is it all there this time?

- It's all there.

- Can you hand--

Thanks.

I'm not an evil person, okay?

- Okay.

- It's just, um,

Jeff left me with, like,

a mountain of debt, so...

I have literally nothing
to lose.

- Now you do.

[baby cries]

If we get caught,
you're going down, too.

I think it's called
an accessory.

- So why are you doing it?

- Same reason.

- You sure about that?

- Have you ever heard the
theory

that they always look
like daddy when they're born?

Some caveman evolution thing,

so men know it's theirs,
and they don't leave.

- Well, this one's Jeff's twin,
so...

- All four of mine looked
exactly like Dean.

- Go figure.

- Stop it!
- Mom, he hit me!

- Boys, homework,
I swear to God!

- Well, you've got
your hands full.

- Hey, listening ears,
you want to put 'em on?

It's like I'm not even here.

- Imagine if you were
in prison.

- Hey, Beth?

[baby crying]

I'll see you next month.

[indistinct chatter]

- So, uh, hey.

You think it worked?

- She got her wake-up.
- Yeah?

[laughs]

Well, I'll tell you what--

ooh!

Listen, if she
is half the woman

that I got in front of me
right now,

she's gonna be something else.

- Will you chill?
You are at work.

- What?
Come on, we undercover.

We undercover.
- So?

- Ain't nobody watching.

- What's that?

- I don't know, the guys
busting my chops.

- I mean, who's the boy?

- Oh.

It's that fool we arrested.

- That's him?
- Mm-hmm.

- He's young.

- Yeah, he's dumb, too.

He's ours, now.

- What does that mean?

- I don't know, he's part
of some g*ng

that the feds got their eye on,

and, uh, we put him to work
for the good guys.

- Cool.

Very cool.

- That's right.

It's all 'cause of your man.

- Hey, uh, you mind
if I use the shower?

Kenny's got, like, a million
action figures in the tub,

and I keep stepping on them.

- Sure.
- Thanks.

- I'll be--I'll be quick,
I promise.

- Hey.

How'd you unload all that
stuff?

- Friend of a friend.

- Not gonna tell me, huh?

- No, I am not.

- I probably deserve that.

- You don't deserve anything
I did to you.

- We wash counterfeit money
for a g*ng.

We buy stuff with fake cash,
and return it for real.

We get 12%.

But I'm gonna ask for 15% when
we're up and running again,

because we're smart,

and we work hard,
and we deserve it.

- [scoffs]

- Do you think I'm insane?

- I think you're incredible.

[doorbell rings]

- I'm gonna...

[dramatic music]

♪

- ♪ I'm your queen

♪ I'm the ruler
of your every move ♪

♪ in my kingdom

- They have him!

- What?

- The kid--the g*ng banger.

The one bleeding up
in Emma's room.

- Who has him?
- The cops!

The FBI! And he's talking!
He is talking to them!

- Wait, what?

- You guys, there's--
there's no toilet paper.

And you have to go right
there in front of everyone.

My God! The place is literally
for animals.

Oh, and drink up,

because jail wine--
[gags]

jail wine is brewed in a toilet

with ketchup and bread!

- Bread?

- Bread is where I threw you?

The toilet you're good with?

- The toilet I understand,

because have to have
somewhere to put the--

- Bread is yeast,
so it ferments.

We have to tell Rio.

- You don't think he knows?

- That his boy is talking
to the FBI?

No way!

- If we tell him,
he will k*ll him.

I mean, right?
That's how they do.

- Okay, so we don't tell Rio.

- No, we do.

We have to.

It's that kid or us.

- ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ I'm a soldier

♪ I'm on my own, yeah

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh-oh, yeah

♪ It's every woman
for herself ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ I'm a soldier

♪ I'm on my own, yeah

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh-oh, yeah

♪ It's every woman
for herself ♪