02x08 - Episode 8

[bunniefuu]

♪ Get ready ♪

♪ We got three million miles
To reach the moon ♪

♪ Ready? ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- Ow! Sorry! Sorry.
- Oh!

Uh...

Did I do something wrong?

No.

It's not you, it's me.
I have something called vaginismus.

My vag*na's like a Venus flytrap.

If it makes you feel any better,
I've got one hairy nipple.

Can you cure it, the vaginismus?

Apparently, if I'm patient,

I'll eventually be able
to get the big one in,

but for now,
I can just get little Thumbelina up there.

Do you know why you have it?

I think it's because
I put too much pressure on myself.

So, you can't even wank then?

No, I do. I do.

I just keep to the outside.

For some reason,
if I'm touching myself, then I'm okay.

I have an idea.

I'm coming!

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Good morning.

Good morning.

You know, Dad's still in the UK.

He's on his book tour.

Can we talk about this, please?

Are you going to admit that you lied?

Then I guess
we have nothing to talk about.

Withholding of information
is not technically a lie.

And implementing an avoidance strategy

will only suppress your negative emotions
towards me, not make them dissipate.

Oh, you're going to therapize me.
Go ahead.

Have a seat.

Show me your skills.

I'm all ears.

I think your overreaction
to this situation

stems from your deep-rooted fear
of rejection.

You've rejected Jakob,
now you're rejecting me.

You didn't exactly accept Jakob.

In fact, you made it
incredibly difficult for us.

So, is your son's inability to form
an attachment with your ex-boyfriend

the real reason you're so angry?

No.

I'm angry because my son is involved in
a highly unethical underground operation

on school campus.

And he is refusing to take ownership
for the severity of his actions.

Fine. Okay, yes,
I spoke to people at school.

I gave out some advice.

You can't arrest me for talking to people.

You don't invoice
for a casual conversation.

It's wrong, Otis.

Well, I don't think it is.

I don't understand, Mum.

We usually just talk these things through
and everything's fine.

Why are you still so upset with me?

Because I thought
I was raising you to be a man

who took responsibility for his actions.

And because,
as the primary carer in your life,

I always get your worst.

And I'm tired of it.

It's not my fault Dad left.

You're going to be late.

Are you still coming
to see Eric's play tonight?

I'm not exactly welcome on campus
at the minute.

You shouldn't let them bully you.

Oh. Ow.

Oh, I've packed some clean clothes
and a couple of dinners for your father.

Would you drop them over at school?
Please?

For me.

- Did you tell him about me getting fired?
- No.

But someone probably will.

Might be best to mention it.

You'll find something
you're really good at soon.

No. No, no, no, no.

Oh, oh, okay. No, no, no, no. Not today.
Not today.

Okay?

- Where have you been?
- I was outside having a f*g.

Okay, well, you can't leave her on her own
because she's three.

Ugh, she's fine.

Oh, my God. There you go.

Actually, I need you to take her
after school.

I've got a job interview.

Well, I can't, can I?
I've got the NSQC finals.

- I thought you were coming.
- Oh, sh*t. I totally forgot.

I can't make it. Will they video it?

Yeah, it's on telly.
That's the whole point.

It's fine. Um, it's stupid anyway.
I'll take her to Cynthia's.

Everything's dirty.
Why haven't you washed her clothes?

Just put her in her fairy costume.

Okay, fairy costume! Yeah! Here we go.

Well done. That's it.

- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.

Well, don't you look fancy.

Come on then.

- Be good.
- She reminds me of you as a kid.

Always making trouble.

- Why am I in trouble?
- You're not in trouble, Jeffrey.

I said Maeve used to cause trouble
when she was little.

You pissed on our doorstep once.

Sorry.

Well, your mum was never around
to look after you, was she?

But that's all changed now, hasn't it?
Thank God.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Bye, Els.

You need to de-wax your ears, Jeffrey.

Twat.

Isaac, Body Slammer's here.

I think my mum is using again.

Don't say I told you so.

I wouldn't dream of it.

I need you to do me a favor.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- When will I see you play this?
- Oh, well,

if you come to the musical tonight,
I'm in the band.

- I thought it was a play.
- No. Uh...

Romeo and Juliet: The Musical.

This poster is very ugly.

Don't you think it looks like they're in
a forest full of dicks?

I hate musicals.

No! You can't hate musicals.

People who hate musicals have no soul.

- What about Hedwig?
- I liked it.

Uh-huh.

- Until they started singing.
- Oh, my gosh.

Okay, well,
you don't have to come tonight.

No, it's okay.

I'll see it for you.

Okay.

- But please, I was a true lush and my...
- Stop it, Quentin.

We have been over this.
You are not Romeo,

- you will never be my Romeo.
- Oh, enough, Quentin.

You're always there, all right?
Just f*ck off!

Okay, guys, this is it.
Opening night. Woo!

This is what we've been working for.
Hugo, stay off the dr*gs.

Florence, pick up some props.

- I'm getting into character, sir.
- You can get into character

whilst helping Jackson
with the octopus arms.

Are you nervous about tonight?

Nerves are for amateurs.

Hey.

- Are you going to the play tonight?
- Oh, yeah. Maybe after the finals.

I forgot that was today. Good luck.

How do I get you
to not be angry at me anymore?

I'm not angry, Otis.

I'm disappointed.

Hey.

I didn't think you'd wanna speak
to me again.

I don't think you should drink alcohol
for a really long time.

- I didn't mean to hurt you.
- Well, you did.

But it's okay.

Why do I always end up
pissing everyone off?

I think you're always trying so hard
to be a good guy

that you end up not being a good guy.

Like you're afraid
you'll turn into your dad or something.

I think you might be right.

Thank you.

For what? Where are you going?

Remember, guys,
today is about having fun. Cube away, Dex!

But it's also really important
that we win.

This is not a drill, guys.
This is the endgame.

Understood?

Wait. I made these for you.

Oh. Thanks, Aimes.

- What's with the rogue "R"?
- I had an extra cupcake.

Oh, thanks.

It's a picture of your face
when it's concentrating.

Good luck. See you there.

Is she trying to tell me something?

Yeah, I think she's saying,
"I still love you, Steve,

but I need some more time."

Mum said to call
if you want anything else.

- All right, bye.
- How is your mother?

Do you think she misses me?

I don't know, Dad.

I think Madam misses you though.

I was thinking
I could come back to school.

I know I've missed out on a lot,
but I want to find something I'm good at.

I don't want to work in that shop forever.

Well, you haven't been fired yet.

Wonders never cease.

- Mm-hmm.
- Let's see, shall we?

Adam, you can go now.

Adam! Get out!

Hi, Adam.

How are you?

My mum's divorcing my dad,
so he's sleeping in the school.

Yeah, everyone kind of knows.

I got fired from my job.

Yeah. Rahim told me.

Sorry, man.

Still play the French horn?

I didn't think you knew what it was.

Trombone sounded funny.

Eric, we're starting.

It's the final rehearsal
for the musical tonight.

You should come. I mean,

- I'm sure musicals aren't your ting, but...
- Is it like Frozen?

Because that was very sad.

Yeah. Uh...
It's a bit like Frozen.

It...

kind of looks like they're snogging
in a forest full of dicks.

That's exactly what I said!

It's a forest full of dicks, man!

- It's full of dicks!
- It's just mad.

I, uh... I better go.

Yeah. Um...

I...
I didn't mean what I said at the party...

about people not liking you.

I'm very easy to not like.

I, uh...

I understand that I hurt you.

Okay.

I just wanted you to know that.

What makes you think
you are perimenopausal?

Well, I've been feeling very tired
and sort of heavy.

And I've had this intermittent tight...

feeling around my chest.

And, um, have there been
any big life changes recently?

Well, yes.
I've, um, had some trouble at work,

and, uh, well, my teenage son is...

Well, he's a teenager.

And things ended with a man I was seeing
but, you know,

just ordinary, manageable life stuff.

When did you break up with your partner?

Uh, he wasn't my partner,
and I didn't break up with him.

I... Well, I might have pushed him away.

Um...

And then I realized my mistake, and...

I tried to make it right,
but apparently, it was too late.

Oh.

There's the feeling.

And did this pain start
when this man broke things off with you?

I mean, I'd... Yes, I might have noticed
the symptoms around that time, but...

...perimenopause causes
surges in adrenaline, right? And...

I think you might be suffering from
a broken heart.

Well, that's ridiculous.

I'm a sex and relationship therapist,
I'm sure I'd know if I was...

suffering from a broken heart.

And I've been a GP for over 20 years
and not long ago,

I was hospitalized for a kidney infection
I didn't think I had.

Right.

Let's get some tests done
and put your mind at ease.

"The modern man is now lacking
a sense of pride

in his innate masculinity.

How do we reclaim that pride?

I believe it starts
with taking ownership of ourselves.

How can we ever begin
a romantic relationship

without first owning our own emotions?
The answer is...

we can't. The first rule of owning oneself
is to live in the moment

and practice the power

of intention."

Thank you.

This guy is so full of sh*t.

Thanks.

- Hi. Name?
- Ben.

Ben.

- There you go. Hi, what's your name?
- Hey, Dad.

Otis, uh, shouldn't you be in school?

Yeah, I was, um... I was hoping
we could talk about something.

Yeah, of course.
Just take a seat for half an hour. Yeah.

- Could I grab a photograph, Dr. Milburn?
- Yes. Of course.

- Brilliant, thank you.
- Thank you.

Hi, Remi. That was fantastic.
Good job. Thank you very much.

Hey.

Hey, Erin. Erin, have you seen
my pet rabbit? It's gone missing.

- No, I've not seen him.
- It's a her, actually.

Did you know that female rabbits
are called does, and...

- male rabbits are called bucks?
- No, didn't know that.

- Yeah. It's all in this book called...
- I'm in a bit of a rush.

I just came back
to get my cigarettes. I'm sorry, babe.

- It's a really good book.
- That's weird.

I could have swore I locked that.

f*ck.

Now...

Hope you find your rabbit.

Thank you kindly.

They're here.

That's Holly Crankshaw,
their team captain.

She already won this competition
when she was 14.

♪ Don't you like ♪

♪ The things I do ♪

♪ You're wearing a frown ♪

♪ I've been sh*t down ♪

All right. Let's go.

Yeah, hello. Hi, um...

I need to report a child at risk.

Yeah.

Her parent is using dr*gs,
and she's unfit to care for her.

- We're on in five minutes, Maeve.
- Yeah, I'll be there in a sec.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's my mother.

The release of Dr. Milburn's notes
was quite serious.

I can assure you we have the situation
completely under control.

Ms. Milburn has been removed from campus,
and our students are no longer at risk.

She was on campus to help us protect
our students.

You managed to somehow make
a dire situation worse.

That was an unfortunate blip.

We are still a school
that prides itself on excellence.

But...
...our best and brightest students

are competing at the NSQC finals today,

and you must stay
for the first performance

of Romeo and Juliet: The Musical tonight.

It's going to be quite an event.

Is it just me, or does that forest
look like it's full of penises?

Okay, standby, studio.

Going in ten, nine,

eight, seven, six,

five, four...

Good afternoon

and welcome to the grand live final

of the National Student Quiz Championship.

On my left,
we have three-time previous champions,

it's the Knowledge Knights.

And on my right, fierce competitors
and wild cards, it's the Quiz Heads.

Let's get straight down to it
with a round on Art History.

So, question one...

Here you go, one lemonade.

So...

what's this all about then, son?

More girl trouble?

Why did you leave...

when I was a kid?

Oh, your... your mother and I
were unhappy, and...

Not why did you leave Mum,
why did you leave me?

What's this really about?

This is what this is really about, Dad.

I thought everything was Mum's fault.

That she was the reason I feel...

confused.

But at least she's there for me.

Where were you?

Well, I-I had to move to America
for work...

No, you moved to America for yourself.

Dad, please just stop lying.

Hey, I have a feeling
there might be some...

some inner conflict going on here.

Yes, I feel angry...

all the time, and I'm trying to find out
what kind of man I want to be,

which is really hard when my dad
has been absent for most of my life.

Did you not like me
as much as you thought you would?

Of course I like you. I just...

Then how could you leave me?

Because I'm an arsehole.

I'm sure there are multiple ways
of diagnosing my personality,

but the chief ingredient is arsehole.

How do I not become an arsehole?

Just try and stay honest.

'Cause once you start lying, it's...

it's very hard to stop.

You know, when you're young...

you think that everybody out there
really... really gets you.

But, you know, actually,

only a handful of them do.

All the people who like you,
despite your faults.

And then if you discard them,
they will never come back.

So, when you meet those people...

you should just hold on to them.

Really, really tightly.

And don't let them go.

And whatever else you do,
never read this f*cking book.

Hi, sorry. Could you...
could you sign my book?

- Yeah.
- Oh, great. Thanks.

- What's your name?
- Pete.

Pete. Hi, Pete.

- Here you go.
- Thank you. Big fan.

Man up.

...as we head into
the Geography round.

One minute on the clock and remember,
if you buzz, you must answer.

The Volga river runs into which sea?

The Caspian Sea.

Correct.
What is the length of the English Channel?

How many countries
begin with the letter...

Hey, Maeve.

I know you can't answer this right now
because I'm watching you on live TV.

But I wanted you to know
how proud of you I am.

And how unbelievably stupid I've been.

- Is your uncle here?
- Yusef.

I know you like my boyfriend.

You make him laugh.

He doesn't laugh like that with me.

See you later, Yusef.

She's still sitting. You taught her well.

If you give me my job back,
I can teach her other things.

How to give a high-five or do a sexy wink.

Please, I know I made a mistake.
It won't happen again.

Hello.

Hi.

- Why're you dressed like a very small man?
- Oh, I'm going to my school musical.

Can I have my pay?

- What are you doing here?
- Trying to get my job back.

I want to go back to school,
but my dad can't find out I was fired.

What happened to the shop
wasn't Adam's fault.

The key wasn't working
last time I used it.

I forgot to tell you. It was my fault.

If you're gonna fire him,
you're gonna have to fire me too.

This is true?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Well,

then you're both fired.

Go on, get out of my shop. Go!

Why did you do that?

Because I love you, dude.

Well, I know that I'm bisexual,
but I don't like you like that.

I thought you were a lesbian now
or into kitchen stuff

- or some sh*t?
- No, Adam, you idiot.

You're my friend.
I love you like a friend.

Are you okay?

No one's ever said
I was their friend before.

You can put me down now.

♪ Never change, never change
Never change, never change ♪

♪ Never change, never change, never change
This is why I fell in love ♪

- Five hundred and sixty kilometers.
- Is the right answer.

In which city
is the world's busiest airport?

- Atlanta, Georgia, USA.
- Correct.

Which country is home to two cities that
have a population of over one million,

but whose names are anagrams
of one another?

- It's Japan.
- No conferring.

I'm sorry.
I'm going to have to dock you five points

and pass the question over
to the Knowledge Knights.

- Japan.
- Can you name the two cities?

Tokyo and Kyoto.

Is absolutely right,
and that's the end of this round.

We'll see you after these messages.

They're destroying us.

Uh, maybe we should just give up.

We're not giving up. We came here to win.

And if we're not gonna win,
at least we're gonna fight.

Do you understand me?
Like, we are the Quiz Heads,

and we are exceptional.
And more important than that,

we're a team.

So, if we're gonna go down,
we're gonna go down together.

Sorry, you kind of
turned into Braveheart there.

- I love that film.
- Pull yourself together, Steve.

And all of you, play to your strengths.

- What are we?
- The Quiz Heads.

The Quiz Heads.

Turns out you were right,
you're perimenopausal.

You're also pregnant.

What?

Well, that's impossible.

Well, you are.

But he had a vasectomy.

Stranger things have happened.

You're pregnant, Jean.

Well, that makes
the whole heartbreak thing

so much more complicated.

Mm.

- The tangent function.
- Absolutely right.

- Optimus Prime.
- Correct again.

George Eliot.

Charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent.

Dorothy Gish.

Jonathan Jamal Jennings.

- The Magic Cube.
- Yes!

Percy Pigs.

The Critique of Pure Reason
by Immanuel Kant.

Absolutely right.

And mu, M-U, is an example...

Oh, that sound means
this must be our last question.

All right mu, M-U, is an example of a...

A sound a cat makes.

I'm afraid I can't accept that,
Knowledge Knights, no.

Mu, M-U, is?

Population parameter. In statistics,
a parameter is any summary number,

such as an average or a percentage,
that describes an entire population.

I would have accepted
a population parameter.

That is absolutely
the full and correct answer.

And with that incredible recovery,
I can announce

that our NSQC UK champions of the year,
with a score of 89 to 88 are...

- the Quiz Heads!
- Yes!

Whoa!

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Didn't think you could make it.

I can get another job interview,
I wasn't gonna miss this.

- Mum, listen, I need to...
- No. No, come on.

I'll treat you to a strawberry milkshake
on the way home. Come on.

- Maybe we could hang out tonight?
- Yeah, that'd be great.

I don't think I want to have sex yet.

We don't have to have sex ever again,
I just miss talking to you.

It's gonna be so cringe.

- Hey, Viv. Are you coming too?
- Where?

To watch Jackson Marchetti
make an absolute tit of himself.

That's not funny.

- Come on. He's an idiot jock.
- He's not an idiot.

He's trying something new
that he might not be very good at,

which is brave.

Whereas you do one thing really well,
and you never shut up about it.

If you're referring to
my Rubik's cube, I don't just do it well,

- I'm actually the 28th best...
- We know, Dex, we know.

We do kind of know, man.

- Half an hour until curtain, guys.
- Five, six, seven, eight.

Elbow, elbow, up, down,
twist, twist, up, down,

and pop it, and pop it.
Not at me, I'm faculty.

You got a problem, Quentin?

I'm surprised you came, Ms. Milburn.

I still have a child
at the school, Mr. Groff.

I'm here as a parent.

I'm so proud of you, Froggy.

- Don't say that.
- No, I'm serious.

I know I've messed up so much,
and missed so many things,

but I'm never losing you again.

What's going on?

We're with Social Services.

There's been a report of drug use
in the presence of a minor.

Who reported it? Did you do this?

I didn't know they were coming.

Someone's reported something,
haven't they? And it's bullshit.

It's not bullshit, Mum.

You did this?

I know you've been using again,
so don't lie.

She's not safe.

I slipped... once.

It was a mistake.

I'm in a program, they can help me.

- You can't take my kid.
- We're not taking her anywhere,

we need to look inside the caravan
if that's all right.

- Stay away from my caravan!
- I'm sure we can sort this out,

- but we need to have a look inside.
- Mum!

We'll have to call the police
if you make a scene.

- Let them look inside...
- Stay the f*ck away from me!

Don't touch me!

How could you?

How could you do this to me?

Here.

Here.

You take her things.

You say you're not going to take her...

but you're lying.

You're f*cking lying.

There's a hostile resident
not cooperating.

We need assistance.

- I don't know if I need a bow tie.
- You look very nice.

Nice suit.

Yeah, she's all dressed up
for her new girlfriend.

Shut up, Dad.

Well, what's the problem?
I thought you were broken up with him.

Yeah, I'm kind of dating Lily now.

I didn't want to make it awkward.

It's not awkward.

That's... That's great.

Young people are strange, so, come on.

Actually, could I have a...

I wanted to apologize properly

for making things difficult
between you and my mum.

I found not being her number one priority
harder than I expected.

It was very immature of me.

Sorry for being an arsehole.

Yeah...

you are a bit of an arsehole.

But you're also a good man, Otis.

Do you think so?

I know so.

Shall we?

Ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats

and prepare for your erotic voyage
to the planet of Verona.

- Hey. You okay?
- Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats

and prepare for your erotic voyage
to the planet of Verona.

I thought this was Shakespeare?

Uh, yes. I think our students are taking
a postmodern approach.

Stand by.

- Sorry.
- Sir, I can't go on stage.

- I'm gonna humiliate myself.
- Jackson, babe.

- You're not a great actor...
- Yeah.

...yet.

The most important thing is
you're doing something you enjoy.

Maybe you're not nervous at all.
Maybe you're just super-duper pumped.

Okay? Doosh, doosh.

- It's not in there, is it?
- No.

Enter Carl.

Two households, both alike in dignity,

in fair Verona, where we lay our scene.

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,

where civil blood
makes civil hands unclean.

From forth the fatal loins
of these two foes,

a pair of star-crossed lovers

take their life.

Mum...

Mum, please talk to me. Come on.

I will never forgive you.

Never.

Come on, darling.

- You look nice, Mum.
- Something new I'm trying.

Is everything all right at school?

How was your father?

Not good.

Maybe we could...

let him come back?

Oh, darling.

Your father needed to fight for us
a very long time ago.

What do you mean?

When you love a person,

there's always a tiny part of you
that's terrified that one day

you're gonna lose them.

And I think that your father's so scared
of that emotion that...

he stops himself feeling anything at all.

But you have to let the people you love
know that you love them,

even if it causes you
a great deal of pain.

Why?

It sounds awful.

Because you're alive.

I have to go.

See...

where he comes.

So please you, step aside.
I'll know his grievance or be much denied.

Come, madam. Let's away.

- sh*t.
- Good morrow, cousin!

f*ck.

Good morrow, cousin!

Colin, does anyone have eyes on Jackson?

- Jackson, that's your cue.
- I'll go back on.

I know all the lines.

Shut the f*ck up, Quentin,
you piece of sh*t. Jesus Christ.

- Good morrow, cousin!
- Get on stage, now!

And remember, you're not nervous,
you're just excited. Go!

Sir!

- What's wrong with him?
- I don't know.

Get on with it!

Good morrow, cousin!

Is the day so young?

Get back in the pool, Marchetti.

Uh...

Jackson.

Is the day so young?

Is the day so young?

Is the day so young?

What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?

- Remember the heartbeats.
- What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?

Uh, I am out of her favor,
where I am in love.

Alas, she is too fair, too wise.
Does thou not laugh?

- Good Romeo, forget to think of her!
- Oh, teach me how

- I should forget to think. Her beauty is...
- Peace!

Our cousin Mercutio draws near.

He jests at scars that never felt a wound.

Cue Mercutio. Cue Mercutio.

d*ck hands enter.

♪ We are the children of an idle brain ♪

♪ In the moon, shines watery beams ♪

♪ Through lovers' brains we gather
Night by night ♪

♪ And give them cosmic dreams ♪

♪ I need it harder ♪

♪ Slide it in deeper ♪

♪ Come with me now ♪

♪ Oh, Romeo, oh, Romeo ♪

♪ Oh, Romeo, I'm good to go ♪

♪ Oh, Romeo, oh, Romeo ♪

Mr. Hendricks, what the hell is going on?

Artistic expression, Mr. Groff.

♪ Wishin' and hopin'
And thinkin' and prayin' ♪

♪ Plannin' and dreamin'
Each night of his charms ♪

♪ That won't get you into his arms ♪

♪ So if you're lookin' to find love ♪

♪ You can share ♪

♪ All you gotta do is hold him ♪

♪ And kiss him and squeeze him
And love him ♪

♪ Yeah, just do it ♪

♪ And after you do, you will be his ♪

For saints have hands
that pilgrims' hands do touch,

and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.

Stop!

- I have something to say!
- What are you doing?

- Adam?
- Get... Colin. Colin. Tackle Adam Groff.

I repeat. Tackle Adam Groff.

What are you doing?

Adam, get off the stage.
You're ruining my moment.

Eric Effiong.

Eric Effiong,
I have something to say to you.

Uh, Adam, I'm... I'm over here.

- He's ruining my show. Colin.
- What...

Eric...

Effiong.

I have something to say to you.

Well, f*cking say it already. Jesus!

What do you want to say?

I want to hold your hand.

Say it again.

Please?

Will you hold my hand?

Yes.

Play the next song now!

Go through the vag*na.
Through the vag*na.

♪ If love be rough with you
Be rough with love ♪

♪ His love is tender
But his prick is so damn hard ♪

♪ I am too sore
Empierced with Cupid's shaft ♪

♪ Don't try to... ♪

The students
have been working so hard, sir.

Be that as it may...

Adam!

All right, Dad.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Wait, that's my vag*na!

Calmly, sir, please?

They have vaginas on their heads!

And standby, spunk.

Groff is coming on. He's on.

Stop the show! Stop! The show is over.

Why are the Groffs ruining my show?
Colin. Colin.

- But we are enjoying it!
- Yeah.

You're enjoying this filth!

Well, it's supposed to be funny, sir.

You...

have all been corrupted...

by this woman!

She's giving sex advice to your children,

filling their heads
with dangerous nonsense.

No, that's not entirely true.

She was explicitly told
she was not here as a counselor.

I had no idea she'd be so unprofessional.

- Mr. Groff.
- Okay. She wasn't giving out sex advice.

I was.

And I shouldn't have been
'cause I'm 16 years old, and...

well, I've only had sex once.

Wasn't even very good, apparently, but...

But my mum was here
to listen to your problems

and give you the advice that
the school should have been giving anyway.

What?

My mum is an excellent therapist,

and she cares about people.
She only wants what's best for them.

Which is why
she's also such an amazing parent.

Well, that's ridiculous.

She reassured me that my labia
is a normal length.

And she really helped me accept myself.
It's changed my life.

I f*cked some warm fruit
and she said I wasn't weird.

They're children, for God's sake!

They don't know what they want.

- This is all your fault.
- Mr. Groff.

I need to see you outside.

Immediately.

It's completely ruined.

It was meant to be perfect.

Well, I think it was perfect.

Have you completely lost your mind?

- That woman is...
- That woman nothing, Michael.

I know your wife has left you,
and you've been sleeping at the school.

You're clearly not coping very well,
and you need to take some time off.

I'm fine.

It's not a request.
You will take leave as of today.

Look, I know
I still have a lot to make up to you.

Are you around to talk about it later?

Yeah.

If you want to get back together
with Jakob, I'm cool with it.

No more annoying only-child behavior.

I promise.

♪ Baby, if it were not for rain ♪

♪ And I ♪

- Hey, Dex, have you seen Maeve?
- No, she didn't come.

♪ And I ♪

♪ Felt it coming ♪

Adam. This is my mum and my sisters.

Lovely to meet you, Adam.

- Hey.
- Lovely to meet you.

Uh...

- I'll be right back.
- All right.

That was so brave.

Thank you.

You have to pop around
for dinner sometime.

- Oh, yeah.
- I'll cook you some jollof rice.

♪ With a heart that soared ♪

Rahim.

- Rahim, I'm sorry. I didn't know he...
- Don't apologize. It makes it worse.

Be careful.

He can hold your hand,
but I'm not sure he can catch you.

♪ I felt it coming ♪

♪ For so long ♪

I think you might be one of
the most intelligent people I've ever met.

I definitely am.

I was thinking it would be good
to start making some friends.

Maybe waiting until university
was a bit extreme.

Well, you still have a friend.

That's if you'll still have me.

Oh, I miss hanging out with you, man.

A lot.

Please can we be friends again?

Okay.

Let's be mates.

Move that.

I missed you.

Hmm.

I missed you too.

- What happened with your parents?
- I'm back in therapy.

But it's where I need to be, so...

♪ I'm going down to the center ♪

♪ Where the soul of a savage girl
Never dies ♪

♪ Through the tall grass ♪

♪ Through the tall grass in your eyes ♪

♪ What doesn't k*ll you
Makes you somber ♪

♪ Burnin' money
In the kitchen sink tonight ♪

I think I might be ready for a hug.

♪ Always knew it was my natural right ♪

♪ And I ♪

♪ All I wanted ♪

♪ Was a world of love and care ♪

♪ I, all I wanted was care ♪

Enter.

You did the right thing.

I still feel like a piece of sh*t.

Do you want to come in?
I'll make you an omelet.

Or you'll make it and I'll watch.

Yeah.

You don't even have milk.

Do I look like someone
who regularly pops to the shops?

Okay, I'll go get some stuff.

Oh, and get crisps.

Oi!

Maeve's not there.

Oh.

Do you know when she'll be back?

Can't be sure.

Could you let her know that I was here?

And...

tell her to check her messages.

Will do.

Okay. Thanks.

You have one new message.

Hey, Maeve.

I know you can't answer this right now
because I'm watching you on live TV.

But I wanted you to know
how proud of you I am.

And how unbelievably stupid I've been.

You telling me
you had feelings for me was...

was all I wanted to hear, and...

I was so caught up in
trying to do the right thing,

I lost track of what that actually is.

It's you.

It's always been you.

I love you, Maeve.

Call me back.

I hope it's not too late...

Message deleted.

♪ This is how it works ♪

♪ You're young until you're not ♪

♪ You love until you don't ♪

♪ You try until you can't ♪

♪ You laugh until you cry
And you cry until you laugh ♪

♪ And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath ♪

♪ No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself ♪

♪ And you take the things you like
And try to love the things you took ♪

♪ And then you take that love you made
And you stick it into ♪

♪ Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood ♪

♪ And walking arm in arm
You hope that it don't get harmed ♪

♪ And even if it does
You'll just do it all again ♪

♪ And on the radio
You hear "November Rain" ♪

♪ And that solo's awfully long
But it is a good refrain ♪

♪ We listen to it twice
'Cause the DJ is asleep ♪

♪ He is asleep ♪