01x06 - Quiver

[bunniefuu]

Man: * Don't look back, a new day is breakin' *

* It's been too long since I felt this way *

* I don't mind where I get taken *

* The road is callin' *

* Today is the day *

* I can see *

* It took so long to realize *

* I'm much too strong not to compromise *

* Now I see what I am *

* Is holding me down *

* I'll turn it around *

Man: Hey! What do we study here?

ll: The way of the fist, sir!

And what is that way?

Strike first! Strike hard! No mercy, sir!

Why did I let you talk me into this?

This goes against everything I stand for.

It's like extra gym class for no reason.

Let's just give it a chance. You saw the fight.

Miguel kicked ass.

Okay! Today we begin--

Quiet!

Face front.

- Nice shirt.
- Thanks.

I'm joking. It sucks.

Word of advice: If you got sh*t for teeth, don't smile.

My God, makes me feel like a virgin just looking at you.

When I look around this dojo,

I don't see Cobra Kai material.

I see losers. I see nerds.

I see a fat kid with a funny hat with his tits popping out.

But my short time as a sensei,

I've also seen some miracles.

So maybe there's some hope for you yet.

First I need to see where you're at.

So everybody, fall in!

That means line up.

No, not--not line up in a line.

Lines. Get in lines.

You mean, like, rows?

Ugh.

Hiya!

Hiya!

( beep )

Hey, hey. What's going on?

You going for a swim? You gonna invite the girls over?

No, not today.

Great. You wanna spar with your old man?

Karate?

Yeah, you don't have to say it like it's the flu.

Come on, Dad. That was, like, eight years ago.

Well, eight years isn't that long.

Eight years ago I was eight.

All right, come on. Remember that time

you nailed me in the jaw with the flip kick?

I mean, you know, I had to eat soup for a week.

It was funny.

Today's just not great. I've got a lot of homework.

All right, I gotcha. No sweat.

Gotta hit the books, you hit the books.

Is that okay?

Yeah, come on. You'd be doing me a favor.

I don't have to block that foot of fury.

Thanks, Dad.

All right.

So what do you say

I come to spin class with you today?

- Really?
- Uh-huh.

I thought you said spin class was a sweaty pointless

bike ride to nowhere?

Yeah, but I figured I'd ride some bikes with you

and then maybe you would, um,

come into the dojo with me.

Ah. Sam said no, huh?

Yeah, I don't get it. Man, she used to love karate.

Well, she's not your mini-me anymore.

Can't dress her up and teach her tricks.

Yeah, but what about you?

Oh, I already know all your tricks.

- Ha.
- And let's try to remember

what happened ten years ago

when you and I hit the mat for a little karate.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

You hear that?

It's the real world calling out to you, Antonio.

The time has come

for you to do a little karate with your dad.

Karate's boring.

What do you think you're doing right there?

Look, it's practically karate.

This one has fireballs.

All right, give me that. Come on, Anthony.

Let's go, come on.

Alexa, order new PS Vita!

No! No!

Alexa, override!

Parental override!

exa: Ordering PS Vita.

Quit it.

- What's up, Queen?
- Suh, dude?

Oh!

Come on, don't eat all the cereal again.

You keep buying it, we gonna keep eating it, man.

We gotta fuel up. We gonna hit an Amazon truck.

Yeah, we gonna get our hands on some big, ol' packages.

You know, like Trey's favorite pastime.

Shut up. Hey, man, grab your purse.

Let's go.

I have work.

What, like a job?

Oh, sh*t. Look at his pants.

What are those?

It's just temporary.

All right, I got a gig over at LaRusso Auto.

You mean, like, the ninja guy?

Why?

My dad hates his guts.

When he finds out I'm working for him,

he's gonna lose his sh*t.

nny: Fighting positions!

Jab punch!

Nope, wait till I say go.

Hiya!

Hiya!

Hiya!

Hiya!

Come on, you want to stand straight.

Plant your feet in there.

Hiya!

Are you sure you're right-handed?

Hiya!

Hiya!

Come on, tits, you can do better than that.

You got weight; use it.

Ready? Hiya!

Hiya!

Hiya!

Hey, Lip.

Yeah, you. The one with the freaky lip.

Who do you think I'm talking to?

Excuse me, Mr. Lawrence.

Sensei Lawrence.

Okay.

You really shouldn't make fun

of someone's physical appearance.

Oh, is that so?

So I'm not supposed to mention his lip at all?

Well, yeah.

Yeah, maybe that's what they teach you in school,

but in the real world you can't expect people

to do what they're supposed to do.

Right? You hear that, Lip?

If you can't handle someone making fun of you,

how are you gonna handle an elbow to the teeth?

By calling the police?

Dude. Knock it off.

What? He does realize the Nazis lost the w*r, right?

Why should I be scared of him?

Because he's got a snake on his wall?

It's not like he's a teacher who can give us a bad grade.

We're paying him. He works for us.

It's not like he can actually hurt us.

Oh, sh*t.

You done?

- What?
- Hit me.

Go ahead, hit me. Strike me right here.

Harder.

Is that all you got, princess?

Hiya!

Let that be a lesson to all of you.

Yeah, but you can't quit.

I got yelled at, got my ass kicked,

and then gave him my money.

You know who lives like that? Hookers.

Yeah, but he's not that bad of a guy.

You gotta give him a chance.

You don't know him like I do.

Uh, that's hooker talk.

Besides, I don't need to learn karate when I have you.

See? No one's gonna mess with you.

Man: * Bring the funk back, let's go, come on *

* Bring the funk back *

Thanks, Anoush.

Hey, how's the new kid working out?

Oh, great.

We got a bunch of pain in the ass stuff piled up for weeks--

inventories, sticker swaps.

Kid knocked most of it out before lunch.

So you're saying I should fire you and give him your job.

Oh, that new kid? No, he's terrible.

Very unmotivated.

You gotta keep explaining stuff to him.

I'm pretty sure he's got a head injury.

Hey, you know,

I've been looking for someone to do a little karate with.

Are you interested?

Are you asking me as a friend or as my boss?

As a friend.

I'm busy.

- Okay, as your boss.
- I'm sick.

Come on, it's a good workout.

I would love to do it, honestly,

but tonight I'm working out with Priya.

Or no, Seema.

Man, this South Asian dating app is destroying my weeknights.

I feel like the hottest Kashmiri pepper

in the pork Vindaloo.

It--that joke kills on the app.

- Yeah, okay, whatever.
- Sorry.

Tell the kid to keep up the good work.

Yep.

Needs salt.

Hey, when do you think I might get one of those shirts

with my name on it?

Oh, you like the shirts, huh?

There's too much salt.

Kid wants a personalized shirt.

Oh, yeah, we gotta get him a shirt.

Means you're part of the team.

What else you need?

Business cards? A tote bag?

How about monogrammed cufflinks?

I'll book you two weeks at the company timeshare

in Barbados.

Yeah, all right, forget it.

Yeah, kid, relax. We're just breaking balls.

Look, I get it. I used to be the new guy around here.

You're trying to take initiative, get noticed.

All right, here's what you need to do.

Every Wednesday someone has to rotate the cars in the showroom,

keep the inventory fresh.

Now, you see that Porsche 911 over there?

It's a beaut, right?

Well, the boss has been wanting to move it up front

by the windows.

You think you can handle that?

Sure.

Yeah, I can do it.

Okay.

Thanks for the Blow Pop, guys.

Really never gets old.

It's 'cause she gives blowjobs.

Get it? Blow Pop.

Blow job.

Yeah, I get it. It's just a rumor.

Hey, everybody. Who let the pigs out?

I did, because I ordered the fetal pigs.

But seriously, get in your groups.

Mr. Palmer, my partner's absent.

Oh, who wants to take Samantha in?

This little piggy needs a group.

Don't all volunteer at once.

We'll take her.

Thank you.

I'm gonna go grab a chair.

Yeah. No problem.

Shh.

Whoa.

What the hell is the matter with you?

Starting a car in a crowded showroom?

What are you, out of your mind?

What were you thinking?

Screw this.

nda: It's okay; everything's fine, guys.

It's fine. It's fine.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Whoa, ease up.

Ease up. I surrender.

You don't have to fire me, okay? I quit.

Hey, Robby. It's Robby, right?

Come here. Right?

Robby, you're gonna break your thumb there.

- What?
- Make a fist.

Make a fist. If you're gonna punch your boss,

you gotta make a tight fist.

Thumb around the outside underneath,

squeeze the knuckles, extend the hand straight out.

You see that?

Now, come on. Let it fly.

Hit my hand.

Okay. All right.

That's better.

Listen, I'm sorry for calling you out inside.

All right, that's on me.

I should've heard your side of it.

You're not the only one with a temper around here.

All right, well, thanks.

So, Robby, where you from? You from around here?

You graduate at West Valley?

Uh, no.

I live up in North Hills.

It's not as nice as this.

I grew up in Reseda.

Before that, Newark, New Jersey,

so I know a thing or two about that.

Wait, really?

Figured your family came from money.

Yeah, well, I guess things aren't
always what they look like, right?

I'm gonna head back inside and announce

the "sorry you almost got k*lled" sales event.

I'll see you in a minute?

All right.

What were you thinking for sex?

Uh, I mean...

Because in the male,

this tract opens up near the umbilical cord.

So I think ours is female.

Yeah. Um...

Yeah, I concur.

Thanks for, um, helping me out, by the way.

Oh, yeah, I mean, I'm sure you you would've found another group.

I meant with the fight.

Oh. Yeah.

Someone had to take care of those assholes.

But nobody else did.

It was a pretty nice roundhouse.

Thanks; I'm taking these super awesome karate lessons--

But you telegraphed the sweep.

When you lift up your foot like that,

it shifts all the weight to your back leg.

More windup, less power.

Wow. You know your stuff.

I guess I should be taking lessons from you.

That was a freebie.

Next one I'm gonna expect money up front.

Of course, of course.

Let's see.

Do you guys want a banana?

People keep sneaking them in my bag.

It's because of that stupid rumor that
I'm sure you guys have heard about me.

- Oh, no.
- Yes.

Stupid, stupid rumors. Hurtful lies.

People are monsters.

Yeah, you shouldn't worry about it.

Those guys are assholes to us too.

I mean, they call me 'Rhea, so...

Not anymore.

Yeah, I guess you're right. Not anymore.

Okay, everybody fall in.

Where's everyone?

Crater face?

Nose ring? Slingshot?

They quit, Sensei.

You serious?

I mean, good.

That was a test.

I wanted to see who the quitters are.

Not you guys. You're in it to win it.

Right, you could be at home, playing your iComputers,

playing your video games, eating candy.

Instead you're here, doing pushups, learning how to fight.

Lip. Look.

Even Lip's tougher than those guys.

He's no quitter.

Could you please not call me that?

Excuse me, what?

I said, could you please not call me that.

Um, I'll warm 'em up, Sensei.

No, no, no. Lip has something he wants to say.

Sorry, speak up, Lip.

Or is your tongue messed-up too?

Are you one of those challenged kids?

Um, the doctor said I could be on the spectrum.

I don't know what that is, but get off it pronto.

All right?

If you don't want me to call you Lip,

then don't have a weird lip. Can't you get surgery for that?

I was born with a cleft lip.

This is the scar from the surgery.

You mean it was worse before that?

Or did the doctor just screw up?

Because if this is the after photo,

that sucks, man. You should sue.

Can we just please change the topic?

You don't think I want to?

It's tough when it's right in front of me.

If you want to be something other than a nerd

with a scar on his lip, then you gotta flip the script.

Okay? Get a face tattoo.

Or gauge your eye out.

We'll call you Patch, all right?

No, don't do that one. You'll still look like a freak.

Uh, great, really? Another quitter?

Go away. No more lessons today.

Do you have to be so hard on them?

Oh, come on, Diaz. They're a bunch of losers.

Yeah, well, some of those losers are my friends.

Yeah, that tracks.

And they're your students.

You wanted a full dojo; you got one.

Not full like that.

Yeah, I get it. All right, they're losers.

Maybe I'm a loser too.

Are you kidding me? Are you gonna cry now too?

No, it--

Never mind. It's just--

You don't know what it's like to be us.

I'll see you tomorrow.

You don't have to do that.

Louie here is gonna be handling
your work for the rest of the day.

Isn't that right, Louie?

Yeah.

Robby, I'm very sorry for yesterday's events.

It's been brought to my attention

that what I did is considered not to be professional.

Okay.

Thanks.

Oh, and we have something for you.

It's official.

You've earned it.

Sh--

You need a hand with that?

No. I better do it myself.

Did the crime; I gotta do the time, right?

And I'm pretty sure she's watching me from the camera,

so I gotta make this look legit.

All right. I'll leave you to it.

Hey.

You still trying to score some points with my cousin?

All right.

Daniel likes to get a hard copy of the sales report

delivered to his house every night.

He's old school like. You know?

Amanda asked me to do it,

but I'm pretty sure she just likes the fact

that it's 20 minutes out of my way.

Are you messing with me again?

Nope, never mind.

Just forget about it.

Just trying to make amends.

No, okay. I'll do it.

Only if you want to.

Okay, envelope's on my desk.

Thanks, Louie.

And don't lose it.

I'm in enough trouble around here already.

Okay.

Stevia?

Not while I'm here.

Science is m*rder!

Samantha, why did you dissect me?

I could've gone somewhere in life.

I could've been bacon.

Just joking. It's Miguel.

Let me know if you need the notes from today's class.

And they could kick, like, all the way above their heads.

I mean, if I get those lessons,
then I could totally get it above my head.

That's great, sweetie.

Oh, yeah, and they had this snake,

and it had these huge fangs, and it was just so cool.

Oh, yeah, they also had these headbands,

and it was so badass.

I can take the lessons, right, Mom?

Hi, honey. How was work?

Shitty.

Savalas is being a real pain in my rear.

I had to tell him who runs Lorimar.

Well, Johnny had a good day.

Right, Johnny. Tell him.

Uh, yeah, I was wondering if I could take a karate class.

Karate? Ha!

Look at you. You're a skinny little white boy.

Besides, don't you get in enough fights already at school?

- Sid.
- What?

Look, the kid's a social reject.

He doesn't a have a single friend.

Well, maybe this is how he can make some friends.

Make some friends.

So you want to be the next Bruce Lee, huh?

First it was the drum set, then it was the roller skates.

Whatever happened to the magic kit?

You were gonna be Doug Henning.

He's 12 years old. They go through phases. They try new things.

Okay, fine. I'll write the g*dd*mn check.

I'll make it out to garbage,

because that's where it's gonna end up.

- Seriously?
- What "seriously"?

- Just--
- Just what?

ure: Just don't tonight, please.

Sid: Tonight? What are you talking about?

Man: * Don't look back *

Hey. Robby.

Did-- did you sense that I was here?

Oh. Reflection.

Oh, yeah. Right.

Here's the sales report you asked for.

Sales report. Yeah, this is, um...

This is good stuff. Very important.

Did--you didn't share this with anyone else, did you?

No, sir.

Your eyes only.

That's good.

We wouldn't want this sensitive material

to fall into the wrong hands, now would we?

Damn it, Louie.

That one's on you, pal.

Next time you outsmart the dope.

Yeah.

Fool me once, right?

That karate you were doing, where's the punching?

Well, karate isn't all punching and kicking.

It's actually more about balance.

That didn't even really look like karate.

Blueprints don't actually look like cars either, do they?

What do you mean?

That was kata.

It's the foundation of my karate.

It's cool.

You want to stick around?

Learn a few things?

Sure.

All right.

Three more absences, Sensei.

Bunch of pussies.

No, it's my fault.

Since you joined Cobra Kai,

I have been hard on you.

I've called you names.

I've humiliated you.

Some of you I've hit.

And for that, I don't apologize.

Cobra Kai is about strength.

If you're not strong on the inside,

you can't be strong on the outside.

And right now you're all weak.

And I know that

because I was you.

I used to have no friends.

Used to be the weirdo kid.

Not that weird; I still hooked up with babes and all, but...

The point is, I wasn't always the badass sensei I am today.

Just like a cobra, I had to shed my loser skin

to find my true power.

And you guys will too.

Welcome to Cobra Kai.

el: Eli, what happened?

I'm flipping the script.

Wait, are you the kid with the lip?

Nice cut, bro.

You see that?

Doesn't matter if you're a loser or a nerd or a freak.

All that matters is that you become badass.

Hawk.

Fall in.

Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?

No, Sensei!

Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?

No, Sensei.

Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it?

No, Sensei.

Class, are you ready to learn the way of the fist?

Yes, Sensei!

Hey, Sensei, I need to ask you something.

What is it?

Well, there's a girl at school.

Is she hot?

- Yes, she's hot, super-hot.
- Nice.

el: I mean, I want to ask her out,

but I just don't know.

nny: Don't know? What's there to think about?

What if she says no?

Never accept defeat, Diaz.

What's up, man?

We got an idea that we want to run by you.

Tonight, it's gonna be a big score.

LaRusso's Luxury Motors.

What's the plan?