01x01 - Wolferton Splash

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Crown". Aired: 4 November 2016 –; present.*
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Inspired by real events, tells the story of Queen Elizabeth II and the political and personal events that shaped her reign.
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01x01 - Wolferton Splash

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[coughing]

[coughing continues]

[spits]

[exhales deeply]

[toilet flushes]

[man speaks indistinctly]

[man] In seeking his British
nationalization, His Royal Highness

Prince Philip of Greece and of Denmark

-renounces his Greek nationality...
-Here, sir.

...and all foreign titles.

And, from henceforth, he will be known as
Lieutenant Philip Mountbatten, Royal Navy.

And here.

Philip Mountbatten...

I...

[gasps for breath] I...

I...

I grant you and the heirs,
male of your body,

lawfully begotten,
the dignities of Baron Greenwich,

Earl of Merioneth
and Duke of Edinburgh.

And Knight Companion

of our Most Noble Order of the Garter.

-Congratulations.
-Thank you, sir.

-Well done.
-Thank you.

Yes.

And?

They got through it. I got through it.

I think they'd have preferred
a nice, pink-faced marquis

with a grouse moor
in the Scottish Borders.

Are you sure you wouldn't have
preferred one of those?

Someone with a grand title,
rather than a homeless Charlie Kraut?

No.

-Oh.
-That would have all been very antiseptic.

Must you really smoke?
You know how I hate it.

Pity. Because I love it so very much.

But, like a great many other things,
I'm going to give it all up for you.

Well, you still have 24 hours
to change your mind.

You think I can change my mind
after all that?

No. Too late.

-I've signed myself away.
-Or won the greatest prize on Earth.

That's certainly what they think.

Sir.

It's what I think, too.

Watch out.

See you tomorrow.

Try and get some sleep.

You too.

A naval officer's stag night?
Chance would be a fine thing.

Thank you.

Question for you both.

Spot of blood in my spittle
yesterday morning.

-Ought I be concerned?
-Well, I'm not a doctor, sir.

-If it's just specks, sir...
-It was.

It's probably just the cold weather.
Gets right to the back of the throat.

Cold weather. That's what I thought.

The carriage will be cold too, Peter.

I've arranged for there
to be hot water bottles, sir.

Oh, well done.

Oh, for Christ's sakes, James!

You're making bloody hard going
out of this collar!

-Sorry, sir. Nearly there.
-You're doing it on purpose!

Now, sir, we're not going to let something
as small as a collar agitate us, are we?

No, thank you, James.
Sir, eyes front. Chin up.

There was a young lady named Sally,

who enjoyed the occasional dally,

she sat on the lap
of a well-endowed chap

and cried,
"Sir! You're right up my alley!"

[chuckles]

Right.

There was an old Countess of Bray,

and...

you may think it odd when I say

that despite her high station,
rank and education...

Your Majesty.

...she always spelled c**t with a K.

Shall we?

You look beautiful

You'll be fine.

All right.

[organ plays]

Here we go.

[crowd cheering outside]

[cheering]

Slow down.

Are we the last?

-Yes, sir.
-Good.

-Come along, Winston.
-Wait, wait, wait.

[organ plays "I Vow to Thee, My Country"]

Now!

♪ I vow to thee, my country ♪

♪ All earthly things above ♪

♪ Entire and whole and perfect ♪

Has Winston no shame?

[man 2] It's a royal wedding,
not a campaign trail.

He's outrageous.

But you have to admire him.

There's poor old Attlee.
He's our prime minister.

-No one got up for him.
-Yeah.

No, no.

Winston still thinks
he's the father of the nation.

♪ The love that never falters ♪

♪ The love that pays the price ♪

♪ The love that makes undaunted ♪

♪ The final sacrifice ♪

This whole thing's Mountbatten's triumph.
He engineered it all.

The man who gave away India.

[crowd cheering outside]

[cheering]

[organ plays
"Praise, My Soul, the King of Heaven"]

♪ Praise, my soul, the King of heaven ♪

♪ To his feet thy tribute bring ♪

♪ Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven ♪

♪ Who like me His praise should sing ♪

♪ Alleluia, alleluia! ♪

♪ Praise the everlasting King ♪

[Archbishop] Dearly beloved,

we are gathered together
here in the sight of God,

and in the face of this congregation,

to join together this man and this woman

in holy matrimony.

Who giveth this woman
to be married to this man?

-[Archbishop] I, Philip...
-I, Philip...

take thee, Elizabeth Alexandra Mary.

...take thee, Elizabeth Alexandra Mary.

You know why
his three sisters aren't here?

-They're all married to Nazis!
-[whispers] Do shut up!

Prominent Nazis!

[Archbishop]
I, Elizabeth Alexandra Mary...

I, Elizabeth Alexandra Mary...

take thee, Philip...

...take thee, Philip...

to my wedded husband.

...to my wedded husband.

To have and to hold...

[Archbishop] To have and to hold...

To have and to hold...

from this day forward...

...from this day forward...

-for better, for worse...
-...for better, for worse...

-for richer, for poorer...
-...for richer, for poorer...

-in sickness and in health...
-...in sickness and in health...

to love, to cherish, and to obey.

-"Obey"?
-She insisted.

It was discussed.

[whispers] And obey.

...to love and cherish and obey...

-till death us do part.
-...till death us do part.

-[photographer] Sheer perfection.
-[man] Your Highness...

You have to hand it to her.
It's quite a victory.

There wasn't a single person
supported the match.

Not a single ally at Court
or in government.

Yet here we all are.

Utterly divine.
May we have the groom's family, please?

She turned us all on our heads.

And barely opened her mouth
in the process.

-You overestimate her.
-You underestimate her.

Well, in the past 48 hours,
reality has sunk in.

With Philip's family.

Would you look at the mother?

-Just out of a sanatorium, I heard.
-And dressed as a nun.

-[photographer] Are we ready? One...
-A Hun nun.

-[photographer] Ein, zwei, drei.
-[camera shutter clicks]

Gutte schön.

[photographer] To me, please.
Are we ready?

Quite magnificent. Thank you, thank you.

Your Majesties?

[photographer] That's quite charming.
Are we ready?

Thank you.

-What's that?
-This present is from me.

-Can I open it?
-Mm-hm.

Oh, Papa!

If your...

marriage is as happy as mine has been,

I don't want you to miss a single thing.

Lilibet? They're waiting.

Thank you.

Put it in.

-Bertie?
-Are you ready?

[stifled cough]

[Queen Elizabeth]
Everyone ready? Margaret?

-Sir.
-Thank you.

[crowd cheering]

Thank you.

[crowd chanting] We want the king!
We want the king!

[chanting continues]

[crowd cheering]

[rowers yelling]

Row! Row you, bastards!

[cheering]

[cheers]

[laughs]

[bagpipes playing]

Everyone inside. We're starting now.

Thank you so much for coming.
Oh, good, you're here!

Right, come on, you two, inside.
Can't start without you.

-Boys, come on.
-Yes, ma'am.

Thank you. [giggles]

[tapping on glass]

Ladies and gentlemen, pray silence for
Her Royal Highness, Princess Elizabeth.

Thank you, Martin.

As I'm sure you all know,

my dear husband will soon
no longer be Lieutenant Mountbatten

-but Lieutenant-Commander Mountbatten.
-[telephone rings]

-[applause]
-Thank you very much.

Which, I gather, involves a whole new
gold ring for me to sew onto your uniform!

Half a gold ring, darling.
Half a gold ring, gentlemen.

[telephone ringing]

So I've asked the two most important
people here to do the presentation.

Hello? Charteris. Yes?

-Ah.
-[laughs]

Very good.

There we are.
Good boy, Charles, well done!

-Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
-[applause]

Important call from London, ma'am.

[doctors talking indistinctly]

[Elizabeth] Charles! Anne!

[Philip] Children. Wait. Wait.

They're waiting
in the green drawing room, ma'am.

-Right.
-Where's grandpapa?

He's upstairs with the doctors.

Now, you wait with nanny
and we'll be back in a minute.

Charles, wait. Here. Okay?

-Mummy.
-So glad you're here.

-We came as soon as we could.
-I know.

-Ma'am, I'm so sorry...
-Granny.

They're operating.

It's been two hours.

-[door opens]
-He's here.

I'm happy to say the procedure went well,

and that His Majesty's immediate
post-operative condition is satisfactory.

[sobbing]

Thank you, doctor.

That's good news, isn't it?
Yes. Are you all right?

[man on radio]
...after the votes are finally counted,

Winston Churchill is Prime Minister

of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
once again.

After the Conservative Party
achieved a narrow...

No bacon.

A little bacon won't hurt, surely, Gerald?
It's been five weeks.

Let's cool this down.

And make sure that egg is well-plated
and no shell to risk irritation.

And turn that noise off.
He'll still be prime minister tomorrow.

-Ready?
-Ready.

Let's get him back on his feet.

...who took office aged 83.

We await the announcement
of the new Cabinet in the coming days.

Good morning, Your Majesty.

-Your first day back at work.
-Who won?

Who, who won?

Mr. Churchill, Your Majesty. By 17 seats.

Good for him! You didn't hear me say that.

[television] ...Mr. Winston Churchill.

-[cheering on television]
-[groans]

They keep trying to count him out,

but he keeps getting back up.

...and happy moment,
to be elected for the second time,

as your Prime Minister.

[cheering on television]

What this nation needs is several years

of strong, steady,
experienced administration.

[cheering and applause]

[people singing "Land of Hope and Glory"]

Congratulations, sir.
Dr. Moran is here for you.

Yes, you just won a General Election,
but...

155 over 90.

We can do better, Winston.

Have a look at this for me, will you?

In the w*r, we used mathematicians
to decode the indecipherable.

I need an expert
to cut through the jargon.

Are they keeping something from me?

Well, I wouldn't be unduly concerned
about the man's pneumatics.

And, given his age, and he's a smoker.

Catarrhal inflammation,
it's not that unusual.

But I would be concerned
about the bronchoscopy.

They wouldn't have done that
unless they were looking

for something far more serious.

And they conspicuously fail
to mention the results.

Instead they go on
about the lung resection.

Which they performed
because of "structural alterations".

What are structural alterations?

It's what doctors say
when they avoid using the word

that it almost inevitably describes.

Who is this man?

Just a little.

One doesn't want to overdo it.

One doesn't want to look ill, either.

A sick...

king is no good to anyone.

There must be no weakness.

No vulnerability.

Oh, thank you.

Evening Chronicle! Evening Chronicle!

[cheering]

-What's that?
-An armchair, sir.

-I just thought, a man of his age...
-This one never sits. Get rid of it.

Mr. Churchill, Your Majesty.

Your Majesty.

The people have spoken.

Your party has won the election,

and as... as their Sovereign,

I invite you to form a government
in my name.

An honor I gratefully accept.

My dear Winston. Congratulations.

Would it be terribly unconstitutional
of me to say how happy I am?

I've missed our weekly chats.

[coughs]

Your predecessor
is a fine parliamentarian.

A good man.

But, well, as company, as a companion...

An empty taxi pulled up at the House
of Commons, and Mr. Attlee got out.

[laughs] Quite.

[sighs]
Now you may congratulate me in return.

What for?

My rapid recovery.

-Oh.
-Yes.

I seem to have bounced back
a lot quicker than people expected.

Yes.

Not sure I ever imagined what breathing
through one lung would feel like.

Turns out there's barely any difference.
[chuckles]

Good. Good.

Though... probably wise
to let the Princess Elizabeth

undertake the Commonwealth tour? Hm?

What say you?

-Is she up to it?
-Yes, I'd say so.

Besides... we have to start
breaking her in gently, don't we?

Do we?

Keep one eye on the future.

The distant future.

[cheering]

[photographers shouting]

-[man] Welcome back, sir.
-What's this?

-It's the teleprinter.
-Let's have it upstairs.

-Everything as it was before, sir?
-Yes!

Everything exactly as it was before.

Ladies. Ladies. Now-- Who's this?

-Oh, Miss Venetia Scott, sir.
-A new addition.

-A good one, I'd say.
-Thank you, sir.

I had hoped
I'd seen the back of this place.

Could you give us a moment,
please, Jock?

Thank you.

How was the king?

He talked a great deal about his recovery.
Lots of mentions of "bouncing back".

Which always makes one fear the worst.

Not to mention the make-up.

He was wearing rouge.

Poor man.

It's cancer.

What?

-Who knows?
-No one.

Least of all him.

-Sir? Lunch.
-Let's have it in here.

See what they've been serving
for the past five years.

-So he's dying?
-We're all dying.

That's what defines
the condition of living.

Will he die tomorrow? No.

What about the day after tomorrow?
And the day after that?

The country needs to be led
by someone strong.

-Well, I'm strong!
-You are also tired, Winston.

We both are.

A situation like that
would require enormous energy.

And I won't lie to you.

I have considered resigning
for Anthony's sake.

For your sake.

But then I realized a situation like that
would also require statesmanship.

The party needs me.
The country needs me.

She needs me.

-Who?
-Her!

Oh, her.

[Philip] This is Clarence House
dining room to Clarence House kitchen.

Dining room to kitchen.

-[Charles] Dining room to kitchen!
-Yes. Dining room to kitchen!

Oh, bugger it!

Right, check the circuits
and up the amperage of the fuse wire.

Right, I'm off.

-Breakfast with your mother?
-And Margaret.

Imagine.
I'm checking curtain fabrics in an hour.

-[laughs]
-[Philip] Yes.

Let's pick the curtains.

-Where to, ma'am?
-Buckingham Palace, please.

Buckingham Palace.

-I see.
-[knock at door]

[man] The queen has asked to see you.

Yes, we look forward
to seeing the doctor then.

-Thank you. Goodbye.
-Drawing room!

-Now?
-Yes.

We do both so love
living at Clarence House

and he has all sorts of ideas
about how to modernize it.

He really is rather ingenious like that,
actually.

-Now, Peter.
-Your Majesty. Your Royal Highnesses.

I have to make a decision
about Christmas.

Tell me, do you think the King will be
well enough to go to Sandringham?

I do. As a matter of fact,
I think it would do him good.

-So it's decided.
-Will you be joining us, too?

Me?

Course not. Peter will be spending
Christmas at home with his family.

I was only thinking of papa.

Given the choice, you know
he'd never let him out of his sight.

Well, that's true.

-He's quite devoted to you.
-Then let me discuss it with Rosemary.

Oh, no. No, it's out of the question.

Why, mummy? Let Peter discuss it.

-Well, he did offer.
-Oh, very well.

[bell rings]

But, as a wife,
I know what my answer would be.

I'd want my husband at home
at Christmas with his children.

Excuse me.

I saw that.

What? No, I haven't finished.

That look between the two of you.

-Oh, Margaret!
-You must tell no one.

The papers all think I'm for
Johnny Dalkeith or Billy Wallace.

-Mummy and Papa, too, by the way.
-They're just boys. Whereas Peter is...

No, I quite see the attraction of Peter.

But he's married.

[knock at door, door opens]

Doctor Weir, Your Majesty.

You told me that, after the operation,

I might expect some... soreness,

some difficulty breathing.

But you didn't tell me about this.

-The coughing has returned?
-Yes.

-How often?
-All the time.

At the time of the operation, as you know,
structural alterations were discovered.

Of course. The blockage in the lung.

It's time we gave that blockage a name,
sir.

It was a tumor.

A malignant tumor.

I see.

-But... we removed it?
-We did.

So what is this?

We removed the left lung, sir.
But the right...

has fewer,
but still significant, blockages.

So, what's next?

Next?

I argued that His Majesty
should be told at the time.

A patient has a right
to know the full picture.

But I was overruled. The theory was that,
if His Majesty felt he'd been cured,

he could throw himself into his work
without undue stress and, and, and worry.

I have two questions.

Who knows the full picture?

Apart from the surgeons?

Perhaps the Prime Minister, sir.

Of course.

But not the queen?

-Nor anyone else in my family?
-No, sir.

And the second question?

It's impossible to say, sir.

My understanding is the surgeons
did everything they could.

And?

It could be years.

More likely months.

Thank you.

[cheering]

[train whistle]

[train whistle]

-[cheering]
-[horns honking]

♪ In the bleak midwinter ♪

♪ Frosty wind made moan ♪

♪ In the bleak midwinter, long ago ♪

Merry Christmas.

♪ ...archangels ♪

♪ May have gathered there ♪

Come on.

♪ Cherubim and seraphim ♪

♪ Thronged the air ♪

♪ But his mother only ♪

♪ In her maiden bliss ♪

♪ Worshipped the beloved ♪

♪ With a kiss ♪

-[woman] Oh, look.
-Oh...

[laughs]

[laughter]

[man] Charming. Quite charming.

♪ What can I give Him ♪

♪ Poor as I am? ♪

[choir] ♪ If I were a shepherd ♪

♪ I would bring a lamb ♪

[all] ♪ If I were a wise man ♪

♪ I would do my part ♪

♪ Yet what I can I give him ♪

♪ Give my heart ♪

[clapping]

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

-[bell rings]
-[Charles laughs]

Very good. Charles, come on.

-Alright.
-No, Mummy.

Ma'am, His Majesty has requested
you attend him in his study.

Urgently requested, ma'am.

Alright.

Will you take them?

I'll be back soon.

[nanny] Off we go then!

In case you're wondering,
I haven't anything specific to say.

Just wanted to spend time with you.

[chuckles]

If there's anything you wanted to ask me,
just fire away.

Are they a nuisance?

Oh, the boxes.

Not if you keep on top of them.

-Even at Christmas.
-Even at Christmas.

Well, what's inside?

Everything they want me to know,
they stick on top.

Everything they'd rather I didn't know,

Cabinet meetings,
Foreign Office briefings,

they tuck away at the bottom.

Which is why... the first thing I do
when no one is looking, is this.

[slams box on table]

-[breathless chuckle]
-[laughs]

[coughs]

Will you take that? Thank you.

[coughing]

[sighs]

Yeah.

Don't you get sick of it all?

[sighs] I do.

-And lonely?
-[sighs]

Sometimes.

Which is why it's so important
to have the right person by your side.

I've been very lucky in that regard
with your mother.

How's your fellow?

-Philip?
-Mm.

Well, he...

Well, I'm afraid he's become something
of a snagaholic.

A what?

Well, you know we're renovating Clarence
House to make it our permanent home?

Mm, yes.

Well, ever since he started
supervising the work,

he can't look at anything
without seeing its faults.

"That switch is an inch too high.
And that door handle's wrong."

"Well, don't be silly," I say.
"A handle's a handle."

I should make more of an effort with him.

Take him sh**ting.

-Would he like that?
-Yes, I think he'd love it.

And then when your health's improved,
we'll return to Malta

and he'll have his navy again,
and all will be well.

Of course.

But, in the meantime...
I'm still not yet well enough to travel.

Not long distances, anyway.

Which brings me
to the forthcoming Commonwealth tour.

I was wondering if you would consider
stepping into my shoes, so to speak.

My health is improving
but I'm still not yet well enough.

-Well, if you think we're up to it.
-You'll be fine.

-Where is it?
-Well...

Ceylon. Australia.

Then on to New Zealand. Bermuda.

And there's talk of starting in Kenya.

Very good!

Right, we'll be gone months.

Yes. But it would mean so much
to papa that we do it.

-What am I supposed to do all that time?
-Don't worry, we'll put you to work.

My work is as a naval officer,

not grinning like a demented ape
while you cut ribbons!

-What about the children?
-The children will be fine.

Oh! Without their parents
for months on end?

-Daddy, can you come and play?
-I won't be a moment, darling.

If you go and play with grandpapa,
I'll be right over. Good boy.

[Queen Elizabeth] Come on, darling,
Daddy's busy. Come and start again.

-[Charles] Daddy's coming.
-They won't know.

-They're too young to notice.
-Come on. Be quiet.

It would so help in papa's recovery.

[King George] Charles, come back here.

-[Charles] Daddy, can you play now?
-[King George] Charles.

Yes.

Thank you.

-[Philip] What are we playing?
-[Charles] Granny's footsteps.

[Philip] Come on then. Let's go.
And then it's bedtime.

[Queen Elizabeth] Ready, steady...

[bagpipes playing]

[coughing]

Sir?

-What's the weather like today?
-Rather misty at the moment, sir.

-Morning!
-Bugger off!

Yes, I'm not sure that's the correct
address for the King of England.

-It's a beautiful morning for duck.
-What?

I thought Wolferton Splash.

Christ.

[breathless laugh]

-[ducks quacking]
-Reed warbler, see?

Oh, Teal. Below the withy there.

When I woke up this morning, I thought
we'd go to Babingley Flat or Eleven Acres.

But, in the end,
there's nowhere better than the Splash

with a bagful of cartridges
to lift the spirits.

His Majesty's back to himself again.

Oh, he is, thank you.
Like a young man again.

[coughs]

[laughs]

We'll be all right.
My son-in-law's a naval man.

We will. If I can handle a frigate.

You understand, the titles,
the... dukedom.

-They're not the job.
-Sir?

She is the job.

She is the essence of your duty.

Loving her.

Protecting her.

Of course, you'll miss your career.

But doing this for her,
doing this for me...

there may be no greater act of patriotism.

Or love.

I understand, sir.

Do you, boy?

Do you really?

I think so.

Come.

Let's go sh**t some duck, shall we?

Three cheers for His Majesty!

-Hip, hip!
-[all] Hooray!

-Hip, hip!
-[all] Hooray!

-Hip, hip!
-[all] Hooray!

[King George] You're too kind. Thank you.

[coughs]

-[men talking]
-[dogs bark]

-[g*nshots]
-[ducks quacking]

-[g*nshots]
-[men shouting]

[coughing]

[g*nshots]
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