01x07 - Everythingship

[bunniefuu]

[Joe] Previously on You...

I love our little routine.
Always the same, but never stale.

Your father was never consistent,
and you're still healing from that.

With my help.

And guess what?
Now that I've made our mornings sacred,

you're actually writing.

One day, I'll tell you about Candace.

She broke my heart.

But you are good.

You make cheating a distant memory.

Peach is taking you out of town.

I need to save you.

[Nico] License and registration?

I'm sorry, Spencer Hewitt.

[dispatch] Dispatch to Nico.

Car's registered to an Ivan Mooney.

I kicked Ron out.

You were right. People don't change.

[Joe] Peach has it out for me.

If I just keep being
the perfect boyfriend,

you'll realize that life is
so much healthier away from this toxicity.

You have issues. Okay?

Don't make your desperate
unending need for attention about me.

[Joe] It's freeing in a way,

to know for certain
what I have to do to protect you.

Anyone here?

[Joe] I would do anything for you.

[both grunting]

[g*nsh*t]

[Joe] I'm not a bad person.
She was going to ruin you.

But you're safe now. Thanks to me.

That first perfect month,

we'd been to hell and back,
we'd done the hard work,

and we were closer than ever.
We were living the dream.

Couldn't keep our hands off each other.
Couldn't keep anything off each other.

I was ready to wait it out
during the grief period,

no matter what that looked like.

But it only brought us closer together.

That month after the funeral was...

It was intimate. Real.

It just made us...

more.

[man speaking indistinctly on TV]

[Joe] But then, over the next few weeks,
something happened.

Falafel.

[Joe] I couldn't tell you the exact moment
things went wrong between us,

but. uh, wrong they have gone.

So, that's why you're here in therapy,

to find out why
your relationship went south?

Oh, it didn't just go south.

It's over. And I want to know why.

Listen, here's the deal.

Don't think of this as an office
or me as a shrink.

We're just two dudes sh**ting the sh*t.

Why don't we start
when things were good with you two?

[Beck] Hmm, my first kiss? Good question.

I was ,
and I was going out with this boy, Matt.

[Joe] You know, we told each other
all the good stuff.

[Beck] He was so sweet.
And we went to see Hitch together.

-[chuckles]
-Oh.

And I was waiting for him
to make the move.

Waiting?
So, what? That was your first kiss?

No, it was two nights later
on a school camping trip.

In a tent, in the rain.
With his best friend, Chad.

[scoffs]

-Chad?
-I know.

-Chad?
-I know. [chuckles]

But Chad, he just... He went for it.

And I've always had trouble
with that kind of thing.

The whole good guy versus bad boy bit.

Don't look at me that way.
Trust me, I wish I could have a redo.

I still feel like a hootsie for it.

A "hootsie"?

-That should totally be a word.
-[chuckles]

No real words?

Only fake ones.

-[Joe] Punkclassical.
-Photobomb.

-[Joe] Vajazzle.
-Ravey.

[Joe] We connected on every level.
It doesn't get any better.

[Beck] Everythingship.

I love that. It's, like, our word.

Everythingship. A noun.

A meeting of the minds, bodies and souls.

Okay, Beck. You ready?

[chuckles]

Wait, it can't be.

Are we redoing my first kiss?

We're redoing your first kiss.

Wow.

I'm finally gonna kiss the right guy.

[Joe] It was an everythingship.
It really was.

We were in a really healthy place.

I had even stopped relying on,
you know, these certain crutches.

-Crutches?
-[Joe] Yeah.

Checking social media,
sneakin' a peak at a locked screen.

It was time to stop. 'Cause we were real.
I just needed to--

Trust.

[stutters] Sure.

I'll see you after work.

Yeah, about that. I may have gotten fired
from the yoga studio.

-May have?
-[sighs]

I got fired.

Apparently I fell asleep leading Savasana.

It's fine. I can find another job.
I can...

Come work at Mooney's.

I know, I know. Big step.

-Joe.
-Come on. It's perfect.

Flexible hours. You have time to write.

I want to help.

I can't ask that of you.

Well, you're not asking. I'm offering.

But big steps feel right
in an everythingship.

[Dr. Nicky] Yeah, yeah. I get that.

Oh, don't worry about this.

I'm in early stages of asymptomatic
glaucoma, so I got a prescription.

I swear this makes me
such a better listener.

They should do a study.

So what happened next?

Oh, hey, Ethan,
do you mind taking a picture of us?

Oh...

[sighs] Uh... I'm sorry,
I think I just need to sit down.

I pre-gamed the new Safran Foer
by reading Eating Animals,

and I'm test-driving veganism now
and I'm just feeling a little faint.

[both] Oh...

[chuckling] Of course.

[camera shutter clicks]

You two are absolutely adorable,
and I am a lonely, vegan island.

Someone needs a burger.

Or somewhere to put his meat.

[groans]

Okay, that was bad.
I meant it sympathetically.

-We have a hashtag now?
-Too much?

It's perfect.

What happened next was
we were doing great.

It was safe to open up
about the very hardest things.

You know, uh, Peach went on a date
with JSF in high school.

[Joe] I thought that grief was really
the last frontier.

[Beck] Apparently he ate pork belly.
Very scandalous.

I mean, Peach always said that...

Um... [chuckles]

-You can talk about her, you know?
-Yeah, I know.

You haven't mentioned her
since the funeral.

It's been over a month.

And we were at that frontier together.

Actually, I think I'd rather save it
for therapy, if that's okay.

Therapy?

Except, it turns out, we weren't.

Yeah. I used to go,
about a year ago, but I stopped.

But then after Peach, I thought it was...

worth it to go for a bit.

Honestly, Dr. Nicky's been really helpful
dealing with my grief.

I think we need more stars.
They're in your office, right?

Yeah.

Don't get me wrong.

There's nothing wrong
with going to therapy. It's just...

It's a bit troubling when your partner
hides something from you.

Don't you agree, Dr. Nicky?

I hear you, Paul. Not cool.

[Joe] Forgive me, Beck,

but for the purposes of this session
with your therapist,

you are Renaldo, tall, dark and man-bunned
backup dancer for Beyoncé.

And I, Paul, well, I manage a bar.

Every assh*le in this city
has the same, not-so-special problems.

It won't be hard to hide who I am.

You two seemed pretty copacetic,
sort of...

Things were Ross and Rachel
with you and Renaldo.

Yeah, I guess they were.

Until they weren't.

See, I thought I'd eliminated
all the obstacles between us, Beck.

Benji. Peach.
But now, another has reared its head.

And he's sitting right in front of me.

All right, Paul,
let's keep digging into this.

All right, tell me, when did you see
the first cracks with Renaldo?

[Joe] Well, having Renaldo at work
was amazing,

but it did force me to confront

some slightly careless aspects
of his personality.

I tried to cut him some slack.

You know, new job, and somewhere in there
he's still grieving, right?

[Ethan clears throat]

-Hey.
-We need to talk.

About what?

Look, this is uncomfortable.
She's your girlfriend,

and, Lord knows,
I'm not one to criticize, but...

Beck is terrible, Joe. Okay?

She's always late.
She leaves the register open.

She doesn't know how to organize by genre.

Just this morning,
she chewed out a -year-old

for buying American Tragedy for school
because she hates Dreiser.

Everyone hates Dreiser,
but this is a bookstore, okay?

We're trying to sell books.

And I hear you, buddy.

You're caught up hard
in the tilt-a-whirl of punani.

And that is something
I struggle with every day.

But here's the thing, brother.

sh1tting where you eat
just leads to confusion and E. coli.

So I'm gonna let you ruminate on that
for a little bit.

[Joe] Yeah, we were a little imperfect.

[phone ringing]

But I still thought
we were in great shape.

If that was the worst of our problems.

[clearing throat]

Mooney's: Rare and Used.

This is Officer Nico,
Greenwich Sheriff Department.

I'm looking for a Mr. Ivan Mooney?

Speaking.

I'm calling about a Buick
registered to your name.

Yeah, I gave that car
to my nephew, Spencer.

Is he in trouble?

[scoffs]

No, I was just calling about
a little fender bender he had.

It was nothing. Have a nice day.

That was too close.

I just saw my job as
keeping the outside world away

so Renaldo could heal.

Hey, Ethan said you were late again today.

Yeah, I know. Sorry.

[Joe] It was hard to find a line
between boss and boyfriend.

Between supporting and enabling.

But you did say the hours were flexible,
and that I'd have time to write.

I did.
But you haven't been writing.

Thinking about writing
is a part of the process.

Okay, that sounded like bullshit
even as I said it.

I'm sorry.

The truth is,

I've been having really vivid dreams
about Peach.

I'm sorry about that.

It's not your fault. It's just...

Her face, it's...

fading, and I didn't think
that would happen so fast.

But she comes at night,

so now I am too tired to write
and falling behind at school.

And now I'm failing you
by being bad at this job.

[Joe] I couldn't tell if I was helping.
I thought I was.

It's pathetic. The only good thing
in my life right now is therapy.

It's the only good thing?

Joe, don't be like that.

[Joe] Or I was totally wrong

and there were dark forces at work
I wasn't privy to.

-[knocking on door]
-[Ron] Claudia!

[Joe] There are people who are fully
delusional about their relationship.

-Claudia!
-Get your scrub-ass outta here, Ron.

[Ron] Karen, stop being a meddling bitch
and tell me where Claudia is.

[Joe] For example,
my neighbor's alcoholic boyfriend

literally has to be chased away
with a baseball bat.

[Ron] This isn't over, Karen.
You can't hide forever, Claudia!

-Do I know you?
-No.

You don't know me at all?

-No.
-Then what're you staring at?

[Joe] But we were different, I thought.

It sounds like working with Renaldo
at the bar wasn't such a hot idea, huh?

I mean, sure,
it was difficult to navigate at times.

But it had its good parts.

Beck.

Beck.

♪ Unwind your watch ♪

♪ Shut your eyes a minute ♪

♪ 'Cause your heart k*lled mine ♪

♪ But now I close the distance ♪

-Hi.
-Hi.

-[chuckles]
-What is this?

I thought we could use
a little date night.

Meatball subs. Your favorite.

Well? What do you think?

I think one errant candle could destroy
an entire collection of rare books.

But...

you...

are worth it.

[laughs]

I feel bad for girls who don't eat.

It always made me sad with Peach.

What?

[stuttering] Uh, you're talking
about Peach. It's good.

Yeah, I guess so.

You know, I had this Little Mermaid
sleeping bag when I was a kid.

God, I loved that thing.
But then it started to smell.

Bad. Like fungus bad.

I couldn't bring myself
to get rid of it, though.

-A security blanket.
-Exactly.

But then I lost it.
And even though I was sad,

I was kind of relieved because I didn't...

I didn't actually have to get rid of it.

And it's the same with Peach.
There is a part of me...

Oh, God, it sounds terrible.

Not that I am comparing Peach
to a cheap nylon sleeping bag. I...

[scoffs]

This metaphor made a lot more sense
when I came to it with Dr. Nicky.

I think all this Peach stuff is coming up
because of my birthday.

December rd.

[chuckles] You remember.

'Course.

Anyway, Peach made such a big deal
about birthdays.

And she always made sure
I felt super special

and would plan the whole thing and...

now I don't...

-I'll handle it.
-No, Joe--

No, what do you want?
A night at the Met?

The tasting menu at Momofuku?

Hell, I'll even sing karaoke
with Annika and Lynn.

[laughing]

That's sweet.
That's really, really sweet. But I...

I think I'd rather keep it
low-key and small.

-No. No to small. No to low-key.
-[Joe sighs]

I don't know, Lynn.
Beck was pretty emphatic.

Dude, Beck's a Sagittarius.
She craves attention.

This is a test, okay?

Part of the fun is making a guy think
that you don't want something

and seeing if he still comes through.

-No, Beck's not like that.
-Let me give you a little lesson on Beck.

Every year, she wants to "keep it simple."

And every year, whatever guy
that she's dating royally blows it.

And Peach swoops in on her Manolos
and throws Beck a party for the ages.

Only now, no Peach.
God rest her beautiful soul.

So you're saying throw a party?

I'll help.

I need a distraction.

[Joe] And I think
because I was anxious about this,

my judgment was a little off.

If I bury my sorrows
in any more booze and boys,

I'm gonna get syphilis. Again.

And Annika's still at Esalen
on her grief retreat, so...

But she didn't like Peach.

None of us liked Peach.

But we loved her.

Losing a friend is super complicated, Joe.
I need this. Beck needs it.

[Joe] Which is why I was stupid enough

to think Renaldo's friends
should be listened to, ever.

It'll just be some friends,
some NYU people.

We'll make it a surprise party.

Hmm? A book theme.

And everyone can come dressed
as their favorite literary character.

What do you say?

Put it to you this way.

Would you rather do something
and be wrong,

or nothing and be wrong?

[Dr. Nicky] Surprise party?

Mmm. I thought it would cheer him up
after the death of his beloved Shih Tzu.

Get his mind off of things.

And?

Did it?

It was the beginning of the end.

Because you threw him a surprise party?

No, because that's when I realized
he was cheating on me with his therapist.

Oh, sh*t. You scared me.

-What's all this?
-Uh... [stutters]

It's my girlfriend's birthday.
I'm throwing her a little...

Well, it's not so little.
It's a surprise party.

Kind of a literary theme. Thus...

I'm going as Ernest Hemingway.

Old Man and the Sea. The Sun Also--

I know who Hemingway is.

Nice cake.

She's lucky to have a man who cares.

[bell jangling]

[indistinct chatter]

Facon-wrapped date? Facon-wrapped date?
Facon-wrapped date?

-Thanks, man.
-[Ethan] Good call.

Facon-wrapped date?

It's : . Beck was supposed to be here
at : to meet for dinner.

She'll be here. Relax.

You know what you need,
my friend, is a drink.

Hey, get this man a Catcher in the Rye.

No, no, no. It's fine.

-[Lynn] She's here!
-Oh!

Everyone, hide.
Places, people. Hide!

[all] Surprise!

How American. [chuckles]

Who is that?

That's one of Beck's school friends,
I think. I don't know. I'm texting her.

I would have guessed, yeah.

What?

Rude to stare,
especially in Asian cultures.

Mr. Darcy, I take it?

-Indeed.
-Predictable.

Says Elizabeth Bennet.

[scoffs] God, no. Dorothea Brooke.

Middlemarch.
Named my shelter cat after George Eliot.

I love her.

-The cat or the author?
-Both.

Meow.

[laughing and speaking indistinctly]

Hi, hey, I'm sorry.
Can we chat for second?

Oh, Joe, Joe, this is Constantine.
He lives in Bushwick.

That's fine. Where the hell is Beck?

Do you want to touch his mustache?

No. No, no. Lynn. No, Lynn,
I don't want to touch his mustache.

-[Lynn] Joe--
-I don't get it.

I've tried to be the perfect boyfriend.
I've bent over backwards.

I gave her a job. I threw her this party.

-What else can I do?
-People are puzzling.

Peach committed su1c1de
and she is the strongest person I know.

Knew.

Beck isn't just puzzling.
She's impossible.

Like, where is she right now?
[stutters] It's selfish. It's rude.

-But it's Beck and that--
-[Beck] Joe.

-Ah, sh*t. Hey! [chuckles nervously]
-Surprise!

Can I speak to you for a sec?

Joe, this is not what I asked for.
I said quiet and I said small.

-Right, yeah. Lynn said--
-Oh, now you're listening to Lynn?

In retrospect, a misfire.

-Why are you wearing a turtleneck?
-I'm Hemingway. Again, misfire.

Look, I appreciate the gesture. I just...

I can't be at a party and pretend
that everything is okay without Peach.

I am not a robot.

Well, what about the other day?
The relief you talked about?

Grief isn't a straight line, Joe.

I know.
You've just been hard to read lately.

-What is that supposed to mean?
-[sighs]

-Where were you?
-I'm sorry?

Beck, I called. I texted you.

Yeah, I know, I just...
My, um... My therapy session ran long.

Dr. Nicky and I were really
making some headway.

And then I guess I just...
I went for a walk and...

-You guess? Therapy and a walk?
-Yes.

Then why do you smell
like three glasses of rosé?

Because I sat down at some stupid bar
with my journal

trying to work through sh*t, Joe.
That's it.

-Okay, so then why didn't you call me?
-I forgot.

But it's your birthday, Beck.
We made dinner plans.

Well, I just... I lost track of time.

sh*t.

Beck, just tell me.

Just tell me. Tell me the truth.

And we can get through anything.

[scoffs]

Okay, if you can't tell me, then show me.
Show me your phone.

[laughs]

[stutters] Are you serious right now?

You said yourself,
you have a hard time with good guys.

-What are you talking about?
-The hootsie stuff.

[laughs]

Okay, I'm... Okay, fine.

You want to see my phone? Have at it.

But if you do this, it means
there is absolutely no trust between us.

And if we don't have trust,
we have nothing.

Do you trust me?

You know what? I can't do this right now.

Happy birthday to me.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birth... ♪

With his therapist?

You're sure?
That's a pretty heavy accusation there.

How do you know?

Experience.

Candace.

There are certain tells.

You can see it in their eyes
when they look at you.

You've been cheated on before?

My last relationship.

I was blind.
I only saw what I wanted to see.

But I didn't make that mistake again.

This time I made sure
that Renaldo was different.

So I knew if he was lying or cheating,

then someone was using him.

Look, I'm not one of those shrinks
that are obsessed with the past,

but I think in this case,
we should take a look.

Why don't you tell me
about your childhood?

But we're not here
to talk about my childhood, right?

We're talking about my relationship.

Which ended because of a surprise party?

No. That's not when it ended.

I brought you a donut.

It's glazed.

Oh, hold up.
So you were just back together?

Regardless of your suspicions?

Mmm, didn't matter. That was the past.

All right, so, what happened next?

Things were good at first.

But then, it started to feel
like something was different.

I feel like I'm hungrier than sushi.

-Okay, pizza?
-Too saucy.

-Thai?
-We had Thai for lunch.

[cell phone chimes]

Why do I always have to pick?

-It's okay. I'll choose.
-[cell phone chimes]

It's a horrible feeling.

To know things have gone wrong,

and there's nothing
you can do to change it.

[speaking indistinctly]

[cell phone chimes]

Falafel.

[cell phone chimes]

[Joe] You know something or someone
has come between you.

But I had to be sure.

-I'll see you after class, okay?
-Okay. Bye.

Heart. Heart. Heart.

I wanted to be wrong.

I never wanted to be wrong
so badly in my life.

I was begging to be proven wrong.

[cell phone chimes]

But it was looking like I was right.

You trust someone.

You give them your heart,
and what do they do?

Is there even a punishment
that fits the crime of lying,

of manipulating like this?
Of breaking someone's heart?

I guess I'm bad at picking good people.

But I'm good at catching
bad people red-handed.

Are you following me?

Answer me right now.
Were you following me?

No, no, no.

I was in the neighborhood
and then I saw you.

God, stop lying.

No, just... tell me why. Why, Joe?

It's the being late, the secret texts.
You've been different, Beck.

You're being crazy.

Are you sleeping with him?

Who?

-Your therapist.
-Oh, my God.

Are you? I need to know! I want to know!

No! I am not sleeping with him.

Who's the fox?

-What?
-The fox. The fox, Beck!

-My friend. Emma Fox. From Brown.
-[scoffs]

But I guess that wasn't readily apparent
on the texts from my phone, huh?

-Beck--
-Don't.

Joe, I told you.
If we don't have trust, we have nothing.

I know. I know. I'm sorry.

Me, too.

You and I, we're over.

And that... That's when it ended.

That's one hell of a story.

-What's your diagnosis?
-My diagnosis?

Yeah, yeah. What do you make of it all?

Well, you might think I'm crazy

'cause I've only known you
minutes, but...

I think there's two of you.
Two Paul Browns.

One that's been hurt in the past,
feel betrayed and hopeless.

But the other one has faith,

and in spite of the evidence
to the contrary,

he believes true love exists.

And that is someone I think I can help.

Our time is up now,

but I'd be down to seeing you again,
if you'd like.

I don't think so.

[door closes]

Everything I do,
I do to protect you, Beck.

Peach, Benji, they left me no choice.

They were dangerous.

I think you might be in danger again.

[elevator bell dings]

But I need absolute proof first.

And these days,
the quickest way to a man's truth...

is through his computer.

And if I find what I'm looking for,

Dr. Nicky will be handled.

[Beck over laptop] I mean, he followed me.
That's just... It's not okay.

[Dr. Nicky] I get it. You feel violated.

Pretend I'm Joe, okay?

What would you say to him right now?

[Beck] The more you want me,
the less I want you.

I know it's messed up, but it's true.

Of course you think I'm hiding sh*t. I am.

Hiding what a complete, ugly mess I am,

behind this, like, cute,
acceptable version of being a mess.

It's insane.

I haven't dealt with the sh*t
that went on with me and Peach.

Or my dad. Or Benji.

And instead of putting it into my writing,

I'm hibernating with you.

And I resent you for it.

I need space to heal.

But every time I turn around,
you're standing there,

ready to make it all okay.
But only I can do that.

And if you really love me,
you'll see that.

You'll let me go.

[Dr. Nicky over laptop] Are you afraid
you might be pushing away a good thing?

Do you think Joe might be good for you?

[Beck] Maybe. But it's what I need.

[Joe] That doesn't sound like
an illicit affair.

That sounds like
a messed up girl in a crisis

and a pretty decent therapist
she's lucky to have.

It also sounds like you were right
to end it with me.

I was wrong about all of it.

The only thing I wasn't wrong about
was loving you.

So, I'm letting you go.

-Hey.
-Hi.

Thanks for opening the door,
all things considered.

Uh... look, there are a million things
I could say right now.

But all that matters is I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Jealousy got the best of me.

And I was threatened that you needed
someone to talk to who wasn't me.

And I know you deserve that.
You deserve to figure your stuff out.

And if I was a smarter man,
maybe I wouldn't let you go,

but I'm guessing that's what you need.

So I will.

Goodbye, Beck.

[softly] Goodbye, Joe.

[Joe] Turns out, it is like the movies.

The second it's over,

all you can remember is the stuff
that made you fall in love.

Blazing through your mind,

this rom-com montage
made of the sweetest poison.

[Beck] Everythingship.

I love that.

[Joe] I’d never felt this way before,

where you love the bad things
about someone...

as much as the good.

Maybe even a little more.

Love isn’t a strong enough word.

And sometimes it scares me...

to love someone so completely
and not have them love you back.

I'm happy to see you here.

I didn't think you'd come back
after our last session.

Oh, that's the thing.
I don't... I don't understand it.

That's why I'm here.

-What don't you understand?
-Love.

[chuckles]

You and seven billion other people
on this planet.

If we understood love,
I'd be out of a job.

I have to say, it's sort of unique
to everybody, like a fingerprint or...

a strand of DNA
or the song you lost your virginity to.

"Hungry Like the Wolf."

[Dr. Nicky] Some people have a hard time
letting love in.

Some people are built for love.

Some people... some people are searching.

Searching for someone who can love them
in the way that they deserve.

That's you.

-[Karen] You look like sh*t.
-Thanks.

What happened?

My girlfriend dumped me, all right?

So, if you don't mind...

[both moaning]

Mmm.

I love you, Joe.

[laughs]

Your face. Oh, my God.

I'm just messing with you.

[Joe chuckles]

[grunts]

[shower running]

Are you gonna leave Beck alone?

Or will she end up like me?