03x05 - Au Jus

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Good Girls"...

I got fired from tutoring.

They said I took
their stupid pen.

She's not me.

I tried to seduce my therapist.

He straight up rejected me.

You have a storied history

of pursuing inaccessible men,

which is a defense mechanism
to protect you from rejection.

- You're gonna like her.
- She has birds.

Good night.

So we wanted to talk to you

about doing some
custom work for us.

Casino night.

If it got into the wrong hands,

it's kinda, like, counterfeit.

That did not even occur to me.

- He's alive.
- I'm dead!

Word is, you do the best work.

I'd like to see how it's done.

- What do you think?
- I think I need you alive.

Customer's here for you.

- Who is it?
- Lewis baby shower.

I'll be right there.

Congratulations, Mr. Lewis.

Everything in order?

You'll know if it isn't.

Yo.

Welcome to the Paper Porcupine.

Here for the Shapiro
bris announcements.

Of course, Mr. Shapiro.

Back to school night, right?

Northfield Christian Academy.

Back in a jiffy.

Morning, sunshine.

Wow, they don't build them
like this anymore.

Pickup's not today.

Is this where the ink goes?

Oil.

Can I help you with something?

Please...

Please don't do that.

Okay, my bad.

What tension do you set
the rollers at?

- Why?
- Just curious.

Why?

'Cause I'm a curious guy.

Well, you could look
at the manual,

but there isn't one because
this is older than the Bible.

See you soon.

Eww.

They didn't give me a Kn*fe.

I don't want your grubby-ass
house key on my BMT.

- Gym locker key.
- Gross.

I barely use it.

Why didn't you just get
two six-inch?

Because the foot-long comes
with chips and a drink.

All good, thanks.

You know, I would love
to be rolling in six-inchers,

but instead I am working
my ass off for nothing.

Yeah, 'cause I just love

being homey's
indentured servant.

Coming home covered in ink
and self-loathing.

Where is she?

Voilà.

Thanks.

- Lock the doors.
- What?

- Hit the locks.
- But they don't work.

- They're broken.
- What's going on?

Take this home
and hide it somewhere.

Why?

And only take it out
when we're printing.

- What is happening right now?
- This is insurance.

For what?

Anyone can run a printer, right?

But you need these plates
to make our money,

- so if one of us disappears...
- Why would we disappear?

When he's done with us.

Jesus.

- Yeah.
- Oy.

You guys get me a sandwich?

Yeah.

- Oh, my God, Sara.
- What... what are you doing?

Two fingers?
Really?

- So much cream cheese.
- Yeah, it's a lot of cream...

It's a lot... it's a lot...

It's a lot of cream cheese.

- What's all this?
- Hey, baby.

Got you poppy seed.

They have chocolate
cream cheese.

I'm sorry, did you just
put that with your lox?

Eww!

- Oh.
- How long you guys been awake?

Uh, baby girl wanted to go
to the early-morning service.

She did, did she?

Yeah, I didn't wanna wake you.

Daddy said you worked late.

Now...

Lil' Money, he still
in there sawing logs.

I went in there with
his video game music,

put it to the boy's ear...
Nothing.

You could have woke me up.

- Where's that chocolate stuff?
- I put it in the fridge.

Okay, I see what you doing.

Trying to keep your own stash.

Okay, now, I'm gonna put
this stuff under his nose,

and if this sugar shock
doesn't wake that boy up,

- nothing will.
-

- Oh, Harry!

So you just found God?

What?

Game recognize game, peanut.

I'm just saying.

- Nope, that didn't work.
- Okay.

Oh, time to pull out
the big g*ns.

♪ I forget what it's about ♪

♪ Living in my head ♪

♪ I hurt my own heart best ♪

♪ But who cares anyway ♪

♪ What should I worry
myself for ♪

♪ Myself for ♪

♪ Turn the blame away ♪

Break's over.

Go again?

- You can do that?
- Yeah.

I'm like a chick.

Let's just leave it
on a high note.

Hey, uh, can I...

And I'm not complaining,
but, uh...

what's happening here?

I'm getting over someone

by getting in front
of someone else.

- Cool?
- Happy to help.

Good man.

Hey, uh, do you mind if we

just do it at your place
next time?

I have a kid.

Yeah, and I have this,
like, back thing,

and tiles just...
Okay.

- So we'll go to your place.
- We already did that.

- You live in your car.
-

That's kinda how I got
this back thing.

You're homeless.

I'm experiencing homelessness.

Got it.

You mind if I take
a shower here?

We don't have a shower.

Sink?

Thank you.

- Wake... wake up.
- What?

What is it?

It's a m*ssacre.

What did you do?

I k*lled them all.

How much did you feed them?

- Too much.
- Well...

not enough.
I... I ju... I don't know.

They're not ready for this.

- I read about this thing.
- They can get an STD.

Eww, gross.

No, it's called
sudden t*nk death.

It's gotta be the water.

Yeah, I tested it with those
little strip thingies.

One, two, three, up.

- Easy.

We'll just tell them
they were sick and we took them

- to the fish doctor.
- I'll grab towels.

And pick up some new ones
on the way home from work.

They're gonna know.

- They're goldfish, Dean.
- They all look the same.

What's this?

- Nothing.
- Doesn't look like nothing.

It's for work.

Then why is it hidden
in the laundry room?

- Where are those towels?
- Is this what you're doing?

- Will you flush these?
- Are you making money?

- Could I get that back?
- No.

What do you mean, no?

He didn't waste much time,
did he?

Dean...

How do you not see
what's happening here again?

It's different this time.

You're like the damn fish

with a castle thinking it's new.

- You don't understand, okay?
- Oh, look, a castle.

Oh, look, another castle.

- Give it back to me!
- No!

Don't.

We can't go back.

He's gonna k*ll me.

You don't k*ll
something you love.

Hey, Beth?

Customer's here for you.

Mm-hmm.

There's been a bit of a snafu.

You don't say.

- Press needed to be serviced.
- Mm-hmm.

So we couldn't make
your invitations.

- It's more than a snafu.
- Well, you'll get them.

It'll just be a little bit
of a delay.

- See, here's the thing.
- I get it.

- We don't do delays.
- I know.

And if that's what
I'm looking at here,

then my boss has been pretty
clear on how to handle it.

What if I made it up to you?

Like...

not him but you?

You mean if I wanted
my own invitations?

No event's too big.

It'd be a huge order.

Try me.

100,000.

Easy peasy.

I'll hold him off
as long as I can.

Thanks again
for your understanding.

- Which kind?
- The super absorbent ones?

Uh, maybe just get
the variety pack.

It only gives you eight of each.

- Yeah, that should be fine.
- How heavy is your flow?

- Like, medium.
- I'll get you options.

What about pain relief?
How are your cramps?

Babe, I'm fine.

Oh, I'll pick up some Midol,
just to take off the edge.

- Thank you.
- That's very sweet.

Mm, oh, bubble bath
when I get back?

Only if you join me.

Mm!

Isn't he awesome?

Like nothing I've ever seen.

Quite a catch.

So, um, remember that project
you did for us a while back?

Mm-hmm.

Well, you did such a great job

that we wanted
to hire you again.

Uh, what's the project
this time?

- You're not gonna believe it.
- It's another casino night.

Uh, I can't.

- We'll pay you more.
- That's not it.

I can cover you at work if
it's time that's an issue or...

I'm not comfortable doing
what you're asking me to do.

It's for a really good cause.

Gambling addicts, right?

I'm so sorry
I brought you into this.

Why did you?

Okay, well, let me
lay it out for you, Lucy.

That piece of paper that you
found in the dumpster,

shredded, that's gonna be us.

Yeah, except you won't be able

to tape us back together again.

Hey, babe, I'm gonna
pick you up some pads too,

'cause I know you hate leaving
those things in overnight.

- I'll come with you.
- Oh, awesome.

Lucy.

Please.

Just go.

He's so happy.

- Why aren't you in bed?
- Shh. It's the finale.

- Why isn't she in bed?
- Shh. America's voting.

- She has school, Stan.
- It's just one night, baby.

Um, tiny country guy
with the glasses?

- No, old lady who raps.
-

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.

You should see
this old geezer rhyme.

- Mom!
- Woman!

Bed... now.

What the hell's got into you?

Close the door, Stanley.

You know, she finished
all her homework.

Oh, I know.

Little heifer's
on the honor roll.

She loves animals.

She pops out of bed for church.

You know what else
our little angel does?

She takes pens... expensive ones.

Yeah, she did it.

I know.

- You know what?
- She told me.

- When?
- A while back.

- And you're just cool with it?
- No, I'm not cool.

- You're not not cool.
- You know what I am?

I'm relieved.

The staying up late
and the cream cheese?

At least she was too guilty
to live with it.

What are you trying to say,
Stan?

Come on, Ruby.

Wait, you're mad at me now?

When you lie,
you sleep like a queen.

We're just lucky
she knows the difference.

This is so wrong.

- We gave her a chance.
- She doesn't deserve this.

Well, we tried asking nicely,

so now it's either this
or the funeral home.

I want to make it very clear

that we have hit a new low,
even for us,

and once you cross over,
you don't come back the same.

Do it already.

We've done worse.

What's it gonna be, baby girl?

Go.

Go.

What if she kills him?

She can't.

Oh, believe me, she can.

He's no good to us dead.

I meant by accident.

How much time do we have left?

I don't know.

- What do you mean?
- I hit lap timer.

- What's a lap timer?
- I don't know.

What if we add up all the laps?

I'm afraid to stop it.

Lucy said he only power walks
for ten minutes.

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

- It's okay.
- It'll be fine.

No, it's not.

Stan's gonna leave me.

Come on.
Why?

- This.
- Literally this.

- Birds?
- Birds.

Bodies.
Robberies.

It's ruining our marriage.

- He loves you.
- He will get over it.

He always does.

That's the thing.

He's okay with it.

This is who he thinks I am now.

- Oh, God.
- It'll be okay.

No, he's back.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- Come on, girl.
- Get out of there.

Let's go, Annie.
Come on.

Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.

- Oh, goodness. Where is she?
- Where is she? Where is she?

Does she have it?

Drive.

Why didn't you take
the cage, Annie?

Just drive.

Uh, there are matching
envelopes in the back,

if you need them.

Hi there.
Welcome to the Paper Porcupine.

I like your tattoo.

- Oh, thank you.
- What does it mean?

Well, it's, uh, sort of
for this club that I'm in.

- Cool.
- Super cool.

I used to sling ink
to pay for art school.

- Hmm.
- Slung ink. Slang?

I think it's slang.

That's cool.
So you're an artist?

Yeah, I do all
the work design stuff here.

Uh, custom orders,
stuff like that.

Oh.

Wait, so you mean, like,

if someone wanted
something special printed,

you would draw it?

But you'd pick the paper,
the colors.

Yeah, but you'd draw it?

Yeah, and then we'd make
an engraver's plate

and print it all on-site.

- Cool.
- Yeah.

Cool, cool, cool.

- Yeah, uh, one-stop shop.
- Yeah.

You know, that's good,
'cause I'm, um...

I'd really like to get rid
of the person I'm using now.

Really?

Yeah, not so reliable.

Well, won't happen on my watch.

Just let me know if I can help.

Actually, Lucy, I think you can.

- Hey.
- How was school?

That good, huh?

You're mental.

What?

Oh, wait, hey, uh, wait.

Uh, hey, dah-dah-dah!

- Don't go in there!
- I can't go in the bathroom?

You can, but...

Your boyfriend just asked me
for toilet paper.

- Who?
- Chris, Kevin?

Ugh, Kevin.

He's outside in his car.

Oh, God.

He said he wants
to live closer to you

- now that you guys are dating.
- We are not dating.

He's living on our curb.

He's going through something.

You said you were done
with this.

- He's homeless!
- You're an addict!

Ben, Ben!

We study people like you
in psych class.

Ben, Ben, Ben!

What the hell?

It's not mine.

I don't understand anything
that's going on here.

His name's Au Jus.

Give this to your boyfriend.

Oh, my God.

Damn.

Yeah.

Yeah, I tried to get one
with his head

actually in the disposal, but...
Oh, Jesus.

I didn't do it.

He freaked out every time
I turned him upside down.

How'd you even take these?

Ben's selfie stick.

Are we supposed
to show all of these

or just choose the best one?

The one with the carving Kn*fe.

See, I don't buy that one.

Well, sorry, Ansel Adams.

- What don't you buy?
- I don't know.

Maybe if it was, like,
scissors or something.

- It's just not believable.

Well, here,
just scroll to the end.

I did, like, a whole thing
with the microwave and tinfoil.

Let's just stick
with the disposal.

She's gonna cave.

Okay.

If you hold the phone,
then I can do the talking.

- That's all I'm saying.
- It's your phone.

How am I gonna hold the phone
and do the talking...

I already had to kidnap
a freaking bird.

I'm not doing it.

What's up, ladies?

How we doing, champ?

- My hand keeps shaking.
- Yeah?

It's okay.

Just take your time.
There's no rush.

She doesn't need to be involved.

Oh, 'cause you can do this?

How about you two?

- No.
- I have the software.

No?

All this time, I thought you

were the one doing
the heavy lifting.

Just let her go.

And here you are
stealing my girl's thunder.

Ain't b*tches supposed
to be, like,

lifting each other up
these days?

- So much for feminism.
-

Maybe you don't need
to be involved.

Hello! Lucy!

It's Mrs. Harris.

I told her I'd stay late
so she could pick up her order.

Go tell Mrs. Harris
that we're closed, okay?

- Okay.
- Okay?

Yeah.

Go with her.

Oh, and... be smart, yeah?

Oh, my God.

They're almost too beautiful
to send.

Wish Henry
a happy retirement for us.

Now, what do you have
in the way of place cards?

- Uh, we're all out, actually.
- What are these?

It says place cards.
Oh, boy.

What do you think would go best?

Blue plaid.

Okay, but the invitations
are red.

Should we...
Uh, red gingham.

Right here.

- Oh!
- These are perfect!

All right, now, should I just
give you the guest list?

- Uh-huh.
- Yep.

Okay, great.

Um, definitely
the entire office.

We'll start there.

Uh, Bob,

uh, George,

uh, Troy, Stanley...

Richard, Ellen, Hakim...

All right, I love you, babe.

Good night, sweetie pie.
Good night, bug.

I'll see you in the morning,
okay?

Daddy?

Yeah?

When do Reddy, Bluey, and Greeny

get back from the fish hospital?

Hmm.

W...

It turns out...

that...

The fish doctors discovered
they have superpowers.

Really?

Yeah, and they were accepted

at a very special
fish magic school.

It's half "X-Men,"
half "Harry Potter,"

but it's top secret,
so we can't see them

or visit for a really long time.

Kenny said you flushed them.

Huh.

He saw you do it.

Well, yeah, that's how
you get to the fish school.

The toilet is the portal.

Can we get a different pet?

Fish smell.

Yolanda, Javier, Esme...

Hannah, and Tom.

- Should I just wait for these?
- Friday.

Friday. Perfect.

Thank you.

You cannot finish that plate.

- He said he'd let me go.
- He won't.

Trust me.

Can I ask you a question?

Like, as a friend?

How could you take Au Jus?

I am in a real situation here.

But I promise you,

I would never, ever hurt him.

Why would I believe
anything you say anymore?

All done.

Um, feel free
to email me any questions,

- but it's all on there.
- Cool.

Uh, GraphicFarts89@gmail.

I, um... I spelt it wrong

and then, uh, got stuck with it.

Come on.

We'll give you a ride.

- We can walk.
- We have a car.

Let's go.

All right, rock star.

We'll drop you off
wherever you want.

Least we could do.

Lucy, don't.

Here's the thing.

I've been doing this
a long time.

The only way someone like you
gets hurt is if you talk.

You're not gonna talk, right?

- No.
- I got your word?

Cross my heart.

Then you'll never see me again.

Unless I got questions
about that plate, yeah?

GraphicFarts89@gmail.

Ah.

My girl.

All right, who's next?

- Wait.
- Wait!

What kind of packing are you
gonna put on the plates?

What?

What if the press gets too hot?

Not your problem anymore, is it?

How you gonna stop
ghost marks on the rollers?

What happens if you get slur
with the half tones?

It means your ink's too thin.

So even with a perfect plate,

it's gonna look like
your son made it.

How long did it take you
to get the security glow?

Um, a while.

You think they sell
that color at Home Depot?

What if you add too much water
to the mulch?

- Starch builds up.
- And why don't we like that?

Why don't we like that?

Because the paper
won't feel right.

You wouldn't even be able
to pass it off at a bodega.

Just because she gave you
a cookbook

to a five-star restaurant

doesn't mean you
can make the dishes.

You need the chef.

You need us.
You need all of us.

Nah.

No?

Not all of you.

♪ There's a world where ♪

♪ I can go and ♪

♪ Tell my secrets to ♪

♪ In my room ♪

♪ In my room ♪

♪ In my room ♪

♪ In my room ♪

♪ In this world I lock out ♪

♪ All my worries ♪

♪ And my cares ♪

♪ In my room ♪

♪ In my room ♪

♪ In my room ♪

♪ In my room ♪

♪ Do my scheming ♪

♪ And my dreaming ♪

♪ Lie awake and pray ♪

♪ Do my crying ♪

♪ And my sighing ♪

♪ Laugh at yesterday ♪

Get up.

- What?
- We gotta do this.

- Now?
- Get up.

- All right.
- I'm up.

I'm up.

- I'm not a lost cause.
- What are you talking about?

When you look at me,

I don't know
who you see anymore.

- I see my wife.
- You can't leave me.

She's acting crazy
in the middle of the night.

That's how it happens, you know?

It... it's not any big thing.

You just wake up one day
and you stop caring

that I don't put the remote
back in the same spot

'cause you just got used
to looking for it.

Well, who says I'm used to it?

I couldn't watch
anything tonight.

Marriages don't end, Stanley.

- They fade little by little.
- Okay, come here.

You don't even
see it happening...

Until it's over.

- Get in here.

Mm, tell me
where that remote is,

and we're good forever.

Just don't give up on me.

Mm.

What are you doing?

Can I sleep with you?

Aren't I kinda old for this?

Please?

Jordan called an Uber
from the mall

and Chris-Kevin picked her up.

Oh, no.

She rode home
in his living room.

I'll get rid of him.

I'm still mad at you.

Don't be.

Not tonight.

Can we get rid of the bird too?

It's nesting in the bath mat.

Who's that little guy?

Meet Dorito Boland.

When did you buy a bird?

He's a rescue.

You tell the kids yet?

I thought we could surprise them

together after school today.

I wasn't trying
to make things worse.

I know.

I just... I really hate you
being around that guy again.

Me too.

Really?

So what happened?
Was he pissed?

Yeah.

I told you he won't
k*ll something he loves.

It's not me, though.

What is it?

Money.

Mm.

How long's this guy
gonna be around?

Um... about 50 years.

We'll have to put him
in our will.

He's cute.

Beth?

- Hey.
- Have you heard from Lucy?

- She's off today.
- Why?

Uh, she didn't
come home last night.

What?

Yeah, cops say it's too early
to do anything.

I...

Maybe she's with friends.

Oh, she didn't
really have friends.

Except for you.

- Well, keep trying her.
- I'm sure she's fine.

If you hear from her
or anything like...

Of course.

♪ Again and again ♪

♪ Sank like a ship ♪

♪ That will never be found ♪