PART ONE
Written by Graeme Curry
Original air date: 02nd November, 1988
Run time: 24:51
1. Streets of Terra Alpha. Night.
As the episode credit is shown, we see dark streets painted in 'happy' colours. A woman, DAPHNE S, comes down the street, in a dark trenchcoat. She is a melancholy looking woman with yellow hair and premature wrinkles and bulbous eyes, rather like a woman bloodhound. She sits down on a bench. A man in a dark coat like hers appears arpound a corner, slightly plump and weaselly. This is SILAS P. He hisses to get her attention.
SILAS P: Psst!! Do you want to talk about it?
DAPHNE S: I don't talk to strangers.
SILAS P: Perhaps I can help.
DAPHNE S: I didn't ask for any.
SILAS P: You know you shouldn't sit here. It's dangerous.
DAPHNE S: I don't care anymore. Let them get me.
SILAS P: You don't have to face your suffering alone, you know.
DAPHNE S: What do you mean? (Silas P sits down behind her, then looks left and right to make sure of no eavesdropping)
SILAS P: There's a place. A secret place. Where some of us gather to indulge their depressions, to share their miseries, with other killjoys like you and me.
DAPHNE S: I'm not a killjoy!
SILAS P: That's what they would call you. You interested?
DAPHNE S: Perhaps.
SILAS P: Oooh, it changed my life. Here, my card. Here, take it!
(Daphne reads it)
DAPHNE S: "Silas P"
SILAS P: (Grinning) Other side!
DAPHNE S: (As she reads it, Silas's demeanour changes to triumphant and he leaps off the bench) But it says...
SILAS P: "Happiness Patrol, Undercover"! Time to get really depressed!
Daphne turns around, shocked by this betrayal. Six or seven women in beige clothing, white face-makeup and purple-pink wigs come down the street, with stupid-looking but menacing g*ns. The senior woman, DAISY K, speaks to Daphne S.
DAISY K: Have a nice death!
(The patrol raise the g*ns)
2. Forum square.
The TARDIS materialises in an auditorium. The Doctor and Ace step out.
ACE: How about a triceratops?
THE DOCTOR: A three-horned dinosaur with a mouth like a beak? The Brigadier saw one in the London Underground once.
ACE: And a tyrranosaurus rex?
THE DOCTOR: Met quite a few actually.
ACE: Any pterodactyls?
THE DOCTOR: Lots of pterodactyls! We should make a visit sometime.
ACE: To Earth in the Upper Cretaceous? Wicked!
THE DOCTOR: A very good time for dinosaurs!
ACE: I love dinosaurs! (Then she notices the bland, 'uplifting' music from a nearby speaker) But I hate that. Liff music!! Where are we, Professor anyway?
THE DOCTOR: A planet, an Earth colony settled some time in your future. Do you like it?
ACE: No.
THE DOCTOR: No, neither do I. Why not?
ACE: Too phony. Too happy!
THE DOCTOR: Yes, I've been hearing disturbing rumours about Terra Alpha. So I thought I'd better look in some time.
ACE: So tonight's the night?
THE DOCTOR: Tonight's the night. I've been hearing rumours of something evil, and we're going to get to the bottom of it!
3. Happiness Patrol HQ
We see a BCU of a badge being stuck to the shoulder of a pink boiler suit. It turns out that Silas P is recieving a badge from Terra Alpha's ruler, HELEN A, a sharp-faced middle aged woman with a red wig and reddish-brown clothes.
HELEN A: Your third badge, Silas P! 45 killjoys to your credit! I'm very happy!
SILAS P: I'm glad that you're happy ma'am, but it is actually 47!
HELEN A: I do the counting, thank you, Silas P.
SILAS P: Sorry ma'am.
HELEN A: Still, I like your initiative, your enterprise. I'll see that you go far.
SILAS P: I might mean for the top .
HELEN A: Not quite the very top, Silas P?
Silas P has clearly overstepped the mark.
4. Streets of Terra Alpha.
A rather incongrous man, a thin face bereaucrat in old fashioned clothes including a dark coat and a bowler hat and yellow necktie, is in the background. This is TREVOR SIGMA. Ace and the Doctor enter the street, music still playing.
ACE: Professor, this music is winding me up!
THE DOCTOR: Yes, it makes you wonder how the natives stand it.
ACE: I don't see any natives.
The Doctor spots Trevor, who comes over to them.
THE DOCTOR: Here comes one now!
TREVOR: Name?
ACE: Ace!
TREVOR: No nicknames, aliases, pseudonyms, nom-de-plumes . Real name!
ACE: It is my real name! Tell him Professor!
THE DOCTOR: What's in a name?
Trevor is clearly not convinced.
TREVOR: (To Ace, sternly) I could report you for that!
ACE: Can you smell something, Professor?
THE DOCTOR: Now that you come to mention it. (Ace goes off) You will have to forgive my young friend, Ace, Mr, um, er you didn't tell me your name.
TREVOR: You're right, I didn't give it to you, but I don't have to. I'm on official business from Galactic Centre.
THE DOCTOR: How do I know you're telling the truth.
TREVOR: Here, my identification.
THE DOCTOR: Thank you, "Trevor Sigma". Actually, my nickname at collge was "Theta Sigma".
TREVOR : No nicknames!!
5. Forum square
Daisy K and another part of the Happiness Patrol come into the square where the TARDIS landed in a vehicle like an aesthetic mix of a 4-whell drive and a go-kart from a scrap heap. They go to the TARDIS with tins of paint.
DAISY K: Right. Over there. This way!
They start to paint.
6. Streets of Terra Alpha
The Doctor and Ace are looking at the chair Daphne S was formerly in.
THE DOCTOR: Well?
ACE: b*llet holes.
THE DOCTOR: Yes, there is evil on Terra Alpha, and we've got to put a stop to it.
ACE: How long?
THE DOCTOR: Tonight!
ACE: Won't that be dangerous?
THE DOCTOR: Of course.
ACE: Right, where do we start?
THE DOCTOR: First, we get ourselves arrested.
7. Forum Square
The TARDIS has been painted pink by the Patrol. Ace and the Doctor come in.
ACE: Professor, what have they done!!
THE DOCTOR: Yes, looks good actually.
Daisy K comes up to them and levels her g*n.
DAISY K: You look unhappy about something.
THE DOCTOR: No, not really, just admiring your handywork. Miserable looking thing!
DAISY K: Our thoughts exactly. (to Ace) And you? Are you happy?
THE DOCTOR: I would say she is, given the deeply distressing nature of some fundamental universal truths.
DAISY K: What do you mean?
THE DOCTOR: She's happy and I'm happy.
ACE : (pointing to Daisy K's w*apon) Can't you afford a real g*n? (Daisy K promptly fires the g*n at a loudspeaker: it blows up) Gordon Bennet!
DAISY K: I'm glad you're happy, but what are you doing here? You don't look like locals! In fact you look like killjoys!
ACE: What's a killjoy?
DAISY K: Alright, you must be from off-world. In future stay within the specified tourist zones!
ACE: What?
DAISY K: You're free to go!
ACE: You're not going to arrest us?
DAISY K: I don't see why!
ACE: Doctor, they're not going to arrest us!
THE DOCTOR: Badges.
ACE: What?
THE DOCTOR: Yes, I believe all visitors are issued badges at customs.
DAISY K: Yes. (to Ace) Where're your badges?
Stupid question.
ACE: I've got badges
THE DOCTOR: She's got badges.
ACE: This one's for top of Everest.
DAISY K: Not interested. (to Doctor) Where're your badges?
THE DOCTOR: (After futile searching and with mock worry..) Oh dear. I've seemed to lost them.
DAISY K: He is obviously a spy and she is his accomplice. He will disappear and she will audition for the Happiness Patrol!
THE DOCTOR: What do you mean?
DAISY K: You're under arrest!
ACE: Phew! About time!
8. Helen A's living room.
On a television screen, it shows an image of Daphne S screaming, then falling out of view as the Happiness Patrol's g*ns ring out. A rather spacious and luxurious office-like living room, in the style of a fashion designer is the location. In a chair and getting anxious about the events on the video is a small middle-aged man with a senile yet imposing air. But this is decieving, as he's clearly shocked by his wife's cruelty. He is JOSEPH C, Helen A's husband. Helen A enters.
HELEN A: What are you watching, dear?
JOSEPH C: It's a videotape, dear, something called "Routine Disappearance No. 499,987.
HELEN A : Turn that off, dear, that's for my eyes only.
JOSEPH C: (complies) Oh well...
HELEN A: And besides, you're missing my broadcast.
Joseph C turns it to the broadcast. Helen A (pre-recorded) appears.
HELEN A: (broadcast) And finally, Joseph C and I wish to thank you for your stirling work in catching the killjoys.
Joseph makes as if to leave, but Helen A stops him
HELEN A: Sit down my dear, you may find this instructive.
HELEN A: (broadcast) Remember, keep smiling. Happiness will prevail!
Which, of course, is right in the long run, elsewhere than Terra Alpha!
9. Waiting zone 1
The Doctor and Ace are lead to a closed of area with a line close to Forum Square. A woman about as old as Daisy K and with a more smoother face and totally pink and white wig stands guard. This is PRISCILLA P. A lonely plump, short and sad faced man plays on a "poker" machine. This is HAROLD V.
ACE: I thought we were arrested. I thought we were going to prison.
The Doctor sees Harold and offers some advice.
THE DOCTOR: Hold the two bananas and nudge. Never fails.
It failed.
ACE: Oh well, can't win them all.
HAROLD V: That's all right, I don't like to win anymore.
ACE: Why not?
HAROLD V: First of all, I'm a killjoy. And secondly, I don't like the prize!
THE DOCTOR: What is the prize?
Harold wins a game.
HAROLD V: You're about to find out.
The front panel of the machine dissolves in a swirl of light. Helen A's image appears on it.
HELEN A: Congratulations and well played! Here is your prize joke! Did you hear about the killjoy who won an outing with the Happiness Patrol? He was tickled to death! (tinned laughter) Enjoy yourself.
The machine's front resolves.
THE DOCTOR: I see what you mean. The delivery's terrible.
HAROLD V: The joke's not much good either.
THE DOCTOR: You're right. It's tastless, smug, and worst of all it's badly constructed, I mean, who writes that stuff?
HAROLD V: I wrote it!
ACE: YOU wrote it?
HAROLD V: That's right. I used to be her gag writer, when I was Harold F. Then my brother disappeared. I heard of other disappearences. They caught me in the rocket port zone, trying to contact Terra Omega, and they put me in here and regeraded me to Harold V. (points to the "V" on his shoulder of his boiler suit, then gives a smile to the watching Priscilla P that would have looked better on a gerbil. Then he continues playing)
ACE: But why are we being kept here? Why don't we just leave?
The Doctor walks up to Priscilla P.
THE DOCTOR: Excuse me?
PRISCILLA P: Yeesss?
She gives a sweet smile that looks better on a person taking cyanide.
THE DOCTOR: Is this a prison?
PRISCILLA P: A prison? Of course not! This is the Waiting Zone. We don't have any prisons on Terra Alpha, miserable places!
THE DOCTOR: So what you're saying that this isn't a place of incarceration, and we're free to go if we wish?
PRISCILLA P: (losing the cheerful tone) Well, yes and no. This isn't a prison... (as the Doctor walks up to a red and white striped line, her tone solidifies) but cross that line, and you're a dead man.
She emphasises that point by waving a deadly 'bubble g*n'. The Doctor, as he turns away, gives her a calm look.
10. Execution yard.
What looks like a party in a courtyard with a sluice behind a table and a pitted metal tube suspended over the table. Four members of the Happiness Patrol are there, and three more, accompanied by Joeseph C and Daisy K, escort a prisoner onto the table. The prisoner, ANDREW X, is a tall thin man in a black overall and has a moustache. He is Harold V's brother. Joseph C shakes Daisy K's hand.
JOSEPH C: Congratulations. (to ANDREW X) Bad luck, old man. Still, we have to be fair. Wouldn't treat you otherwise.
11. Waiting zone 1
The opening sh*t tracks up to Priscilla P's face, then cuts to the trio at the gag machine.
THE DOCTOR: So what you're telling me is that Helen A punches people for wearing dark clothes?
HAROLD V: That's right. It also goes for listening to slow music, and reading poems. Unless they're limericks, of course.
THE DOCTOR: This is terrible!
HAROLD V: Walking in the rain too, if you're on your own and don't carry an umbrella.
ACE: Why don't people stand up to her?
HAROLD V: The people are scared!
THE DOCTOR: Remember the Happiness Patrol, Ace!
ACE: Bunch of ratbags!
THE DOCTOR: Ratbags with g*ns!
HAROLD V: The Happiness Patrol are the nice side of her regime! Do you know who the Kandyman is, Doctor?
THE DOCTOR: Sounds rather sweet.
HAROLD V: He's dangerous! He's doing experiments, and that's why we're here. He needs guinea pigs: guinea pigs like you and me!
ACE: What sort of experiments?
HAROLD V: Can't find out.
THE DOCTOR: What else does he do, this Kandyman?
HAROLD V: He makes sweets.
12. Helen A's office.
Helen A in an office just off her living room. She is seated at a desk with a control panel. A plump man who takes obvious pleasure in every word he says enters. This is GILBERT M.
GILBERT M: You wanted to see me ma'am?
HELEN A: Just curiousity. I wanted to know what the Kandyman had cooked up for us tonight?
GILBERT M: It's a 'fondant surprise'.
Helen A just can't believe this.
HELEN A: Flavour?
GILBERT M: Strawberry.
HELEN A: Delicious! My favourite.
13. Waiting zone 1
As before
ACE: So you reckon the Kandyman's the one behind all the disappearances?
HAROLD V: One of the ones. There are 3 ways to disappear on Terra Alpha. The Late Show at the Forum, a visit to the Kandy Kitchen, and something else.
ACE: What sort of something else?
HAROLD V: I don't know. Rumour has it that Helen A prefers the f*ring squad.
14. Execution yard.
Joseph C reads from a scroll.
JOSEPH C: It says here, that you have been "found guilty of an ostentatious display of public grief"? Oh dear!
DAISY K: PATROL!!!
The Patrol memebers raise their g*ns.
JOSEPH C: And so you have been sentenced to the severest penalty decreed by Helen A!
DAISY K: PATROL, DISMISS!
As the Patrol goes off, ANDREW X thinks he has been pardoned, however, the metal tube descends over his head as Helen A pushes a button.
15. Kandy Kitchen
A bizarre mix of a laboratory, a kitchen and a factory. Pipes and ovens dominate the room with gears at the top. The Kandyman is even more bizarre, with a chocalate freckle with blue 100's and 1000's for a head with spinning eyes. A barley sugar with electronics revealed forms his torso. A liquourice allsort is his lower torso and his feet are marshmallows. His limbs are made of various sweets. He notices the red light buzzing away in the wall and stomps to a set of levers which he pulls. The gears start to move and the pipes fill with fondant surprise.
An anlogue light display shows it's progress to the Kandyman.
16. Execution yard.
The tube starts to lift, and ANDREW X is revealed with red goop covering him. He has been smothered by it. Joseph C approaches the dripping table.
JOSEPH C: The fondant supreme!
Waiting zone
Ace: Time we moved on, Professor?
The Doctor: Well, we have a night's work ahead of us and I think we've learned enough.
Ace: Ace. Prison break.
The Doctor: Waiting zone break, but I think we'll take our new found friend with us.
Harold: What's that?
Ace: We're going to escape.
The Doctor: Shush.
Harold: There is no escape.
Helen A's office
Gilbert: Well, I must be going, ma'am.
Helen: So soon? We haven't finished yet. There's still his brother, Harold V, to deal with.
Gilbert: Ah, yes. His brother.
Helen: Families are very important for people's happiness.
Waiting zone
Priscilla: I think he got a buzz out of that.
Ace: Shut up!
The Doctor: Hold it, Ace.
Priscilla: Rather a shocking experience.
Ace: Let me shut her up!
The Doctor: Save it, save it. You can't run. You're no good to me like this.
Ace: I want to nail those scumbags. I want to make them very, very unhappy.
The Doctor: Don't worry, Ace, we will.
Kandy Kitchen
Kandyman: What time do you call this?
Waiting zone
The Doctor: Tell me.
Priscilla: Yes?
The Doctor: I was wondering about your go-cart.
Priscilla: It's not my go-cart, it's the Waiting Zone's go-cart.
The Doctor: Yes. I was wondering, if we were to get into it and drive off, what would you do?
Priscilla: Nothing.
The Doctor: Nothing?
Priscilla: Nothing.
The Doctor: Wouldn't raise the alarm? sh**t us?
Priscilla: Nothing.
The Doctor: You're right. It's booby-trapped.
Helen A's home
Helen: Did I leave you, my darling? Well, don't worry. I'm back now.
Waiting zone
Priscilla: What are you doing?
The Doctor: Nothing.
Priscilla: You're not thinking of starting that?
Ace: No.
Priscilla: Are you sure?
The Doctor: Yes.
Ace: Here, let me help.
The Doctor: No, stop it.
Ace: It's a b*mb, isn't it?
The Doctor: I'm trying to defuse it.
Ace: Let me have a go.
The Doctor: I'm trying not to get us blown to pieces.
Ace: I never get to have any fun.
The Doctor: Shush.
The Doctor: Start the engine. You can drive.
Street
Ace: Any luck, Professor?
The Doctor: I need a little more time.
Ace: You've got it.
Ace: Oi!
Daisy: I arrest you for evasion of the Happiness Patrol auditions.
Ace: Where are they? I'm ready for them. Question is, are they ready for me?
Daisy: Take her back to the Happiness Patrol headquarters, and we'll continue to search for the spy.
The Doctor: Ow! That's it.
The Doctor: Ace? At least the Happiness Patrol left us in peace. Ace?
Patrol headquarters
Ace: I'm beginning to enjoy this.
Susan: Oh, okay, stop that. That's no good. Do you know any jokes?
Ace: I always forget jokes.
Susan: Well, how about songs?
Ace: Oh, I know this great song about this bloke and his girlfriend. She drops the ring he gives her on the railway track, and when he goes back to get it, she's k*lled by the train and he's really miserable for the rest of his life. Oh, it's fantastic.
Susan: Happy songs, Ace. Songs about sunshine and furry animals.
Susan: I woke up one morning.
Ace: I know that song.
Susan: There's a million blues songs start like that. But I did wake up one morning, and suddenly something was very clear. I couldn't go on smiling. Smiling while my friends disappeared, wearing this uniform and smiling and trying to pretend I'm something I'm not. Trying to pretend that I'm happy. Better to let it end. Better to just relax and let it happen. I woke up one morning and I realised it was all over.
Ace: Look, I'm sorry.
Susan: I think we'll abandon our rehearsal.
Ace: I'm not Happiness Patrol material anyway. They stand for everything I hate. Like you said, smiling all the time, smiling when it doesn't mean anything. I'm not one of them. I can't play an instrument, I can't dance, I can't sing.
Susan: No, but there is something you might be very good at.
Ace: Oh, yeah?
Susan: A disappearing act.
Ace: What do I have to do?
Susan: It's simple. I give you this key, then I close my eyes, and when I open them, you've gone.
Street
The Doctor: Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to have a spare automotive jack on you, would you?
Silas: Oh, I'm afraid not. But I can offer you the hand of friendship. Sit down, tell me about yourself.
The Doctor: I'm looking for Helen A. Perhaps you would point me in the right direction?
Silas: I can tell you where to find her, but when you meet her, make sure you're smiling.
The Doctor: Smiling?
Silas: She hates miserable people. Haven't you heard about the m*ssacre, then?
The Doctor: Yes, I have heard rumours.
Silas: She sent her spies out to find the most depressing township on the planet. The Happiness Patrol went in and razed the place to the ground.
The Doctor: But why?
Silas: Policy. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to distress you.
The Doctor: I'm not distressed, I'm angry. Why don't people stand up to her?
Silas: Oh, lots of reasons. The Happiness Patrol, the Kandyman...
The Doctor: Ah, the Kandyman. He's next on my list of people to see.
Silas: Then I'd cross him off fast, if I were you. He's Helen A's henchman. Does all her dirty work. There are small pockets of resistance, though. Quiet murmurings of rebellion. Are you interested?
The Doctor: Of course.
Silas: There's a place, a secret place, where we're planning for the day when Helen A and the Kandyman will be called to account. Here, my card.
The Doctor: Oh, thank you, Silas P.
Silas: Other side.
The Doctor: Happiness Patrol Undercover. Oh, excellent. Perhaps you could take a message?
The Doctor: You must be a musician.
Earl: Sort of.
The Doctor: Your timing's good.
Earl: We'd better go.
Daisy: You look unhappy, Silas P.
Silas: No! Wait!
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor.
Earl: Earl Sigma.
The Doctor: A subtle musician.
Earl: No, I'm really a medical student, fifth year post-med psychology.
The Doctor: What does the Sigma stand for?
Earl: It stand for alien. All visitors are called Sigma.
The Doctor: And you're travelling through the colonies.
Earl: I'm on vacation. Paid my way with music and I sort of got stuck here.
The Doctor: It's an interesting planet from the psychological standpoint.
Earl: Yeah. We gotta go.
The Doctor: No, this way. There's someone I'd like to meet.
Kandy Kitchen
Earl: What is this place?
The Doctor: I believe it's where they make sweets.
Street
Daisy: Halt or we fire!
Kandy Kitchen
Gilbert: They think it's easy. A thousand pounds of praline cracknel, indeed. They don't know his moods. He's terrible when he's roused. I keep telling them, but they won't believe me. They're lucky to get any sweets at all.
Kandyman: Enough! Where are my specimens?
Gilbert: If they think it's so easy they should have a go at making sweets themselves. They wouldn't know popcorn from peppermint.
Kandyman: I said, where are my specimens? It's time for an experiment.
Gilbert: I think they just slipped under the table.
Kandyman: There's no one there.
Gilbert: But I saw them.
Kandyman: Show me!
Gilbert: But I, I could have sworn they were under the table.
Kandyman: I can feel one of my moods coming on.
Kandyman: Welcome to the Kandy Kitchen, gentlemen.
The Doctor: I'm sure the pleasure's all ours.
Kandyman: I do hope so. I like my volunteers to die with smiles on their faces.
`
The Doctor
SYLVESTER MCCOY
Ace
SOPHIE ALDRED
Helen A
SHEILA HANCOCK
Joseph C
RONALD FRASER
Daisy K
GEORGINA HALE
Priscilla P
RACHEL BELL
Gilbert M
HAROLD INNOCENT
Trevor Sigma
JOHN NORMINGTON
Susan Q
LESLEY DUNLOP
Earl Sigma
RICHARD D. SHARP
Harold V
TIM BARKER
Silas P
JONATHAN BURN
Kandy Man
DAVID JOHN POPE
Killjoy
MARY HEALEY
Forum Doorman
TIM SCOTT
sn*pers
STEVE SWINSCOE
MARK CARROLL
Wences
PHILIP NEVE
Wulfric
RYAN FREEDMAN
Newscaster
ANNIE HULLEY
Assistant Floor Manager
LYNN GRANT
Costumes
RICHARD CROFT
Designer
JOHN ASBRIDGE
Incidental Music
DOMINIC GLYNN
Make-Up
DORKA NIERADZIK
Producer
JOHN NATHAN-TURNER
Production Assistant
JANE WELLESLEY
Production Associate
JUNE COLLINS
Script Editor
ANDREW CARTMEL
Special Sounds
d*ck MILLS
Studio Lighting
DON BABBAGE
Studio Sound
SCOTT TALBOTT
TREVOR WEBSTER
Theme Arrangement
KEFF MCCULLOCH
Title Music
RON GRAINER
Visual Effects
PERRY BRAHAN
Transcript (in part) by
Kris Roobottom
SYLVESTER MCCOY
Ace
SOPHIE ALDRED
Helen A
SHEILA HANCOCK
Joseph C
RONALD FRASER
Daisy K
GEORGINA HALE
Priscilla P
RACHEL BELL
Gilbert M
HAROLD INNOCENT
Trevor Sigma
JOHN NORMINGTON
Susan Q
LESLEY DUNLOP
Earl Sigma
RICHARD D. SHARP
Harold V
TIM BARKER
Silas P
JONATHAN BURN
Kandy Man
DAVID JOHN POPE
Killjoy
MARY HEALEY
Forum Doorman
TIM SCOTT
sn*pers
STEVE SWINSCOE
MARK CARROLL
Wences
PHILIP NEVE
Wulfric
RYAN FREEDMAN
Newscaster
ANNIE HULLEY
Assistant Floor Manager
LYNN GRANT
Costumes
RICHARD CROFT
Designer
JOHN ASBRIDGE
Incidental Music
DOMINIC GLYNN
Make-Up
DORKA NIERADZIK
Producer
JOHN NATHAN-TURNER
Production Assistant
JANE WELLESLEY
Production Associate
JUNE COLLINS
Script Editor
ANDREW CARTMEL
Special Sounds
d*ck MILLS
Studio Lighting
DON BABBAGE
Studio Sound
SCOTT TALBOTT
TREVOR WEBSTER
Theme Arrangement
KEFF MCCULLOCH
Title Music
RON GRAINER
Visual Effects
PERRY BRAHAN
Transcript (in part) by
Kris Roobottom