04x02 - First Learn Stand

[bunniefuu]

[medieval video game music plays]

[alarm ringing]

[rock music plays]

♪ Smoking me out ♪

♪ Giddy up, giddy up ♪

♪ Time for the cool down ♪

♪ But I want the whole city
Gonna heat it up, heat it up ♪

♪ I can't sleep
Gotta get into something ♪

♪ Can't sleep
Gotta get into something ♪

♪ Can't sleep
Gotta get into something ♪

♪ I can't sleep
Gotta get into something ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Woo! ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Woo! ♪

[children laughing]

[horn honks]

[children laughing]

Nice moves, new kid.
What do you call that? The loser limbo?

[laughter]

No, no, no, no. I think it's called
the I'm-trying-not-to-sh*t-my-pants dance.

[laughter]

Good one, LaRusso!

[laughter continues]

[rock music plays]

[whistling]

[tool whirring]

Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?

Oh, hey, man.
Got in early to knock this sucker out.

Smooth as a Smurf's ass, right?

That deck was
the perfect teachable moment.

You just tanked my entire week!

The kids know they're here to learn
karate. You don't need to trick 'em.

I'm sorry. What was your lesson plan?
Line 'em up and throw forward strikes?

I go by feel. Some days,
I'll toss them in a cement mixer.

Other days, I'll find
a hornet's nest for them to kick.

Let's not do this, okay?

Our students want us to find a way
to work through our differences.

I know you don't want to join Miyagi-Do,
but at least respect it.

Well, respect's a two-way street.

You respect my style of karate?

You gotta understand, man.

I was taught
that karate is for defense only.

It's always gonna be tough
to respect Cobra Kai.

- You mean Eagle Fang.
- Oh, come on, Johnny.

Is there a difference?
You're still teaching aggression.

Some kids need a little aggression.

You know what?

Let's give it a try.

I teach you Miyagi-Do.
You teach me Eagle Fang.

Deal.

No, don't need to shake on it.

[sighs]

Hi, I'm Tory.
We waiting on anybody or is it just you?

[dramatic music plays]

It's just me.

- Can I start you off with something?
- Actually, there's only one thing I need.

That's for you
to stay the hell away from my daughter.

- Wait, you're...
- Yes, I am.

You came to my job?

I tried calling your parents.
No call back. Big surprise.

Should I have kicked in your front door?

Is that more your speed?

Every day in my house,

there are little reminders
of the mess you made.

I see my daughter
covering up her bruises and scars.

The only reason
you aren't behind bars right now

is because she asked me
not to drag this ordeal out.

So you can have your little tournament.

But if you touch
one hair on her head before then,

you'll be scrubbing toilets
in prison for the rest of your life.

If you're lucky.

Excuse me, miss?

I think my soup is ready.
I see it on the counter.

Yeah, just a minute.
I think you should leave.

I will.

I'm not here to cause a scene.
Just here to deliver a message.

But I need to know
that you got that message.

And what if I didn't?

Well, then that would be a mistake.

Is everything okay here, ma'am?

I don't know. Is it?

Miss? I don't want my soup to get cold.

- Will you shut the hell up?
- [manager] Tory!

That's it. Put away your uniform.

I've had enough of your attitude.
You're fired.

Yeah, thanks a lot.

This place got a B
on the health inspection.

They hide the sign so you can't see it.

And I saw one of the cooks
dip his balls in the miso.

Uh, you know what? You can cancel my soup.

[rock music plays]

[teacher] Yes!

[kid] Nice!

Yes!

[romantic music swells]

[whistle blows]

Okay, let's switch it up.

New kid, get in there.
We'll get you some gym clothes next week.

LaRusso, Thompson, you're in too.

Let's go!

All right. Sub out!

[Zack] 'Sup, Slade?

Ha. Look who it is.

I'll cover the ballerina.

[whistle blows]

[upbeat music plays]

Come on, LaRusso, you gotta stop that!

I'm open!

- [Anthony groans]
- [laughter]

Hey! Break it up! New kid, get the ball!

Oh sh*t!

Dude, you just got facialed!

Bust out some of that karate!

I told you, okay?

I-I-I can't. Those moves cause,
like, permanent brain damage.

[scoffs] Whatever, LaPusso.

Sorry, man, it was an accident.

Bullshit!

Hey, come on.
Give the new kid a break, Ant.

We've got a game to finish.

Yeah. Yeah, all right, Lia.

Just ignore them. Dope shirt, by the way.

Thanks. I'm...

Kenny.

Remember, side, side.

I could have this finished
in two minutes with a paint sprayer.

Then you'll be missing
the point of the lesson.

You know,
you can't just layer paint on sh*t.

You need a heat g*n
to get down to the base.

Maybe a right angle scraper.

That's not the point.

If you wanna learn
how to fight defensively,

you gotta change your instincts.

Well, my instincts say
this is a waste of time.

[sighs contentedly] That's quality.

[Daniel sighs]

You missed a spot. Over there.

You know what? Screw this.

What? You quitting already? That's it?

Maybe you can do this, but I can't.

Defense is boring.

Offense will always be more badass.

Fruit in your beer? Figures.

Hi-yah!

Holy sh*t.

How the hell did you do that?

Miyagi-Do may seem boring,

but don't forget it saved your ass
a few weeks ago from Kreese.

And that wasn't the first time.

- Come on, who's the loser now?
- You suck!

Hi-yah!

Nobody was more badass than Mr. Miyagi.

[Daniel sighs]

Remember, side, side.

[Robby] There's a reason
Miyagi-Do is difficult to learn.

These blocks are incredibly precise.

Each one is designed
to overcome a specific att*ck.

Show me wax on, wax off.

[grunting]

The more you learn Miyagi-Do,

the tougher you are to defeat.

[Kreese] Except for one tiny flaw.

Their entire style is reactive,

which means
all their moves are counter moves.

That means that we are in control.

And we can use that to set traps.

Show me paint the fence.

- [Robby grunts]
- [Tory groans]

Sorry. Just part of the lesson.

[Tory grunts]

[Kreese] Enough!

Nichols, in my office.

Continue the lesson.

[Tory grunts]

What is it?

Something happen with your mother?

No. It's nothing.

I lost my job, okay?

And it's not so easy looking
for another one when you're on probation.

Do you feel sorry for yourself?

Uh...

When something bad happens,

you have two choices.

You let it tear you down
or you let it build you up.

Sometimes a step backwards...

opens a new path forward.

Now,

what happened?

[phone ringing and buzzing]

- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, champ. You just get home?

- Did I get the time difference right?
- [Kenny] Yes, sir.

How was your first day?
Make any new friends?

I'm still getting to know everyone.

[father] It's not easy to switch
to a new school mid-year.

But if you do things the right way,
you'll see results.

I will.

My boy.

How's Mom doing?

She's at the office a lot.

Yeah, she works hard.

She needs you now.

She's had a tough time since...

what happened to your brother.

- I know.
- [father] You're the man of the house now.

You shouldn't have to be, but you are.

Can you rise to that for me?

- Yeah, Dad.
- [father] I love you, champ.

I miss you.

Love you too.

Bye.

[medieval video game music plays]

[message notification beeps]

Dope shirt, by the way.

[typing]

[uplifting music plays]

One day,

over 400 years ago, there was a fisherman.

His name was Shimpo Sensei.

Ambition without knowledge

is like a boat on dry land.

That's it.

Big circles.

Right circle.

Left circle.

Walk on the left side of the road, safe.

Walk on the right side of the road, safe.

Walk down the middle...

Get squished like grape.

Center yourself, Johnny.

Look inward.

Find your balance.

There you go.

Now show me the moves.

That's it.

Balance good.

- Karate good. Everything...
- [Johnny groans]

[music stops]

This thing isn't even level.

Or maybe you have
a little imbalance inside of you.

I still don't see me
using any of this in a real fight.

I've been trying to tell you,
Miyagi-Do is not about fighting.

You know what Mr. Miyagi said
was the best defense in all of karate?

High outside block against an a* kick?

The best defense is "no be there."

You mean don't be there?

The guy teaches you centuries
of his ancient family karate,

you can't help him with English?

Don't even go there with me, Johnny.

Are we done, or do I have to sit here and
freeze my nuts off to find inner peace?

No. We're done.

You got a taste of Miyagi-Do.

That was the goal.

[Johnny] Good.

Well, get ready.

'Cause tomorrow,
you'll learn real man karate.

Oh, I can't wait

to hear all about
the illustrious history and wise teachings

of the Eagle Fang.

[video game beeping]

Check this out.

[soft rock music plays]

Mm.

[Kenny] Wow.

She's cool.

What else do I do for fun?

Ooh.

Draw anime.

Listen to music.

Every now and then,
some Dungeon Lord cosplay.

[chuckles]

Don't tell anyone I told you that.

Send.

[laughter]

Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.

[Zack] Oh my God.

- He cosplays this sh*t?
- [laughter]

Ask him who's his favorite character.

Dr. Scribblebottoms.

Dr. Scribblebottoms?

Oh my God.
That is, like, the lamest character.

He's like this stupid chipmunk
with, with big ears and a lab coat

who, like,
he mixes, like, health potions and...

How do you know so much?

I just, you know, uh, overheard
some, some nerds talking about it.

I got an idea. Tell him you, I mean Lia,

and a bunch of other Dungeon Lord losers
are meeting at Balboa Park tomorrow night.

Tell him to cosplay as Mr...

Scrapalas or whatever.

Uh, why? Why? What's the plan?

Just do it!

[Diego] Man, just do it.

[snickering]

[Zack] Balboa Park.

[chuckles]

Yeah.

Where do you wanna go?

[snickering]

[Zack] He has no clue.

[Diego] This is gonna be great.

Excuse me. Do you have
any Klare Melk Truffle Gouda?

Let me go look.

Oh. sh*t.

[guitar riff plays]

Butterfingers, huh?

- What are you doing here?
- Well, it's honeycrisp season.

This store has
the best produce in the Valley.

Don't you need to be
a legally-mandated distance away from me?

Other way around.

Technically, you're the one in violation.

I know about the deal you struck
with my husband and Johnny,

and I just want you to know
that whatever happens at that tournament,

I will make sure you lose.

Is that why you're sabotaging my student?

I wasn't trying to get Tory fired.

But that girl's asking for trouble.
She broke into my house.

att*cked my daughter.

Sam's gonna have scars
for the rest of her life.

I respect you defending your daughter.

I think that's what all mothers should do.

Unfortunately, Tory doesn't have a mother.

Or one that's healthy enough
to defend her.

That girl has to pay the bills.

Put food on the table.

All by herself.

- I didn't know that.
- [Kreese] Well, now you know.

So you might want to leave the girl alone.

Or deal with the consequences.

Mrs. LaRusso.

Found that Gouda.
Last one too. Must be your lucky day.

Oh, thank you.

Remember,

not all kids are as lucky as yours.

Sweet.

[chuckles]

[tense music plays]

Come on, Johnny, time to wake up.
I'm ready for Eagle Fang training.

That sounded as ridiculous out loud
as I thought it would.

[dramatic music plays]

You sure you're ready?

As I'll ever be.

The hell. Wha...

Where the hell did you take me?
An abandoned factory?

This is how psychos in horror movies act,
you know that?

You wanna circle around things
your whole life?

Wait for problems
to show up at your doorstep?

That's not what an eagle does.

Here, at Eagle Fang,

we do not follow.

We att*ck.

We lead.

We grow into what we were meant to be.

And what were we meant to be, Johnny?

Men.

[rock music plays]

An eagle embraces the pain!

All your life, the world's been trying
to make you less of a man.

Light beer? Veggie burgers?

a*t*matic transmissions?

Might as well
let another dude bang your chick!

[Daniel sighs]

You realize the coals are supposed
to be shoveled into the forge?

Don't question me, Newark!

Keep shoveling!

[hard rock music plays]

Let's go, LaRusso.

Start climbin'.

Toughen up those soft hands. Push!

Can't wait to get hit.
Gotta strike before the hit gets to you.

- Isn't this a blocking exercise?
- No!

When you think you should be defending,
you should be offending!

The human response to danger
is fight or flight,

but an eagle's response
is fight and flight.

[Daniel groans]

Move it! Be aggressive! att*ck!

- [Daniel grunts]
- That's it! att*ck!

Good, LaRusso! Good!

Manliness is next to godliness.
You got this.

Find your limit and soar past it.

- What does this have to do with...
- Quiet!

Keep climbing, LaRusso!
You got this! Focus. Fight!

Put your fangs in those balls. That's it.

- That's it!
- Come on!

- Let's go, LaRusso! You got this! Yeah!
- Yeah!

♪ Breakin' out of hell, breakin' ♪

That's what I'm talking about!

Soar like an eagle, baby!
Yeah, keep going!

Yeah!

[medieval video game music plays]

Where is she?

[Anthony] Oh my God!

Look at him.

[laughter]

[Zack] Come on, look at him!
Look at this loser. Oh, man.

Oh, I think he's wearing glitter.
Get a close-up of that.

- [Anthony] Hey.
- Stop it.

You gotta post that.

No, don't! Don't!

- Oh sh*t! He just broke your phone.
- You gonna let him get away with that?

I wasn't trying to break it.
You guys were being assholes.

[dramatic music plays]

What did you just call us?

[tense music plays]

[grunting]

[grunting]

Pick him up.

[Kenny groaning]

[Kenny panting]

All right, LaRusso. Let's see your moves.

Yeah! Bust out some of that Miyagi sh*t.

- I, uh...
- Come on, LaPusso!

- Don't call me that.
- Then hit him!

Come on!

[boy] Do it!

[dramatic music plays]

[grunting]

It's locked.

[Zack] Hey, there's a hole!

Go, go, go!

[dramatic music continues]

Where'd he go?

I don't know. Come on, this way!

[buzzer]

So what are we doing here?

After a hard day of honest work,
we're crushing beers,

watching guys
b*at the hell out of each other.

Does this mean
I've passed my Eagle Fang training?

I didn't say training was over.

What are you talking about?

Look, you're tougher than a prima donna,
I'll give you that.

But sometimes
you gotta show your toughness.

Look at those guys.

Think they play by the rules?

The only rule in this league
is intimidation.

That's why striking first is so important.

- [thud]
- [Daniel] Ooh!

That guy's a rat.
That's spearing. At least a double minor.

Hey, Ref! Spearing!

Double minor.

Oh, that's bullshit. Come on!

Oh, he looks pissed.

- What the hell, d*ck?
- Hey, he's the one that called it.

Your boyfriend do all your talking?

No, I'm just explaining the rules to him.

Oh yeah? Come explain it to me down here!

I know what you're trying to do,
all right?

I'm not gonna get in a fight
with that guy.

He says you're a p*ssy
and he can kick your ass any day.

- Hey, enough! All right? Cut it out!
- Oh, come on down, Sally. Let's go.

I... I didn't say that.

I need to apologize for my friend here.
He's a little... unstable.

We're working through it. Sorry.

You see what I just did there?
That's called de-escalation.

You should try it sometime.

You know what? I actually had fun.

Not even you
could ruin hockey for me, Johnny.

Ah, you see?

And did they win
'cause they played better defense?

No, they won 'cause they b*at
the crap out of the other team.

I'm not gonna change my stripes, okay?

I just now have
a little better understanding

of what goes on in that head of yours.

So you're saying you respect Eagle Fang?

Yes. The way
I respect a madman with a nuke.

I'll take it.

Hey, shithead!

Hey, good game, guys.
No hard feelings, right?

Because of you,
I spent half the game in the box.

Yeah, but you still eked out a win.
It was great.

So you can kick my ass
any day of the week. Is that right?

No, I didn't say that. He...

Looks like your lover boy bailed on you.

Wait, wait, wait. You know who this is?

It's LaRusso Auto.

The chopping prices guy from TV?

He's got that smoking hot brunette
running the place.

[wolf whistles]

Easy guys. That's my wife.

Oh.

- Maybe I'll take her for a test drive.
- I'll ride shotgun.

- I got the backseat to myself.
- [laughter]

[rock music plays]

♪ I'm breakin' out of hell ♪

♪ Breakin' out of hell ♪

♪ I'm breakin' out of hell ♪

♪ Breakin' out of hell ♪

♪ Breakin' out, breakin' out ♪

♪ Breakin' out, breakin' out of hell ♪

♪ Breakin' out, breakin' out ♪

♪ Breakin' out ♪
♪ Breakin' outta hell ♪

♪ Breakin' out of hell ♪

♪ Breakin' out of hell ♪
♪ I'm breakin' out of hell ♪

♪ Breakin' out of hell ♪

♪ Breakin' ♪

♪ Breakin' out of hell ♪

- [Daniel grunting]
- [man groaning]

[grunting]

[Johnny] Kick ass!

Nice work, LaRusso.
Way to assert your dominance.

Where the hell were you?

No be there.

And make sure that Louis doesn't
go anywhere near the Doyona reps.

Just lock him
in a supply closet or something.

I'll put a cannoli under a giant net.
He'll go for it.

I'm serious.

So am I. Do I not look serious?

[dramatic music plays]

- Oh sh*t.
- sh*t? What?

What's sh*t? Why are we saying...

sh*t.

You think this makes up for it?
Leaving this at my doorstep?

- I don't need your sympathy.
- [sighs]

I just wanted to make sure
you had enough food.

- Yeah, I feed my family.
- Look, why don't we go talk in my office?

We're talking here.

Okay, maybe we just lower our volume? Huh?

Gandhi once said that nobody
can hurt me without my permission.

Take one more step towards me
and I'll snap you in half like a pencil.

Why do I step
into these karate situations?

Look, Tory,

I just want all of this to be over.

Yeah, well, don't worry.
It'll all be over soon.

When I humiliate your daughter
at the All Valley in front of everyone.

Thanks for lighting a fire under me.

I needed that.

- What have I done?
- [Anoush] Hey.

Should I start
wearing protective gear to work?

And follow-up,
should I be calling the police?

No.

And not a word of this to Daniel.

[Kenny] Ever since I started
this new school,

my life has been miserable.

[laughter]

They chase me.

b*at me up.

- [Anthony] Hey.
- Stop it.

[Kenny] It's not gonna stop.

I don't know how I'm gonna keep going.

I don't feel safe.

[laughter]

One of them even knows karate.

[laughing]

Karate, huh?

[continues laughing]

What's so funny?

Hey, don't worry about it, little bro.

I know a guy who can help.

[upbeat music plays]