[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[RYAN] Nothing that's worth
anything comes without pain.
["DAMAGED GOODS" PLAYING]
A work of art is only good
if it arises from necessity,
from need.
And it can be political
need or personal need
or, ideally, both.
♪ Sometimes I'm thinking ♪
♪ That I love you... ♪
[RYAN] Art should be confrontation.
It should shock and scare you.
And Hannah,
she was an artist in need.
And I think that's what happened.
And she freaked people out.
- [CYRUS CLEARS THROAT]
- All right.
[TYLER LAUGHS]
And how does this not make
us more likely to be the
targets of abuse and ridicule?
Because it's like claiming
the word as our own.
Reappropriation.
Like saying we're the
assholes, so don't f*ck with us.
Okay, yeah, sort of like
our superhero outfits, right?
Like, "It's a bird, it's a plane,
it's the Assholes. It's us."
Yeah. Just maybe don't say that.
♪ Your kiss so sweet ♪
♪ Your sweat so sour ♪
♪ Sometimes I'm thinking ♪
♪ That I love you... ♪
[RYAN] A soul in need
needs a way to express it.
Silence is never the answer.
But when there's so much
going on inside you...
[KEYS JINGLING]
society expects us to stay silent.
And it's a dangerous thing when
there's so much going on inside you,
but no one to share it with.
[DOOR OPENS]
Kevin? Honey, you forgot your lunch.
- Thanks. I'll be right there.
- Okay.
_
_
_
[CHLOE] Good Lord. These
morning practices are k*lling me.
I'm passing out at exactly : today.
- Or you could come back to my place.
- [SIGHS]
I don't think I'm
gonna have the energy...
For dinner? My parents wanna meet you.
- They do?
- Yeah.
- That's so cool.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, my God, that's so terrifying.
- No. It's no big deal.
My dad happens to be in town for a bit.
I'm always talking about you.
I'm so excited. Amazing.
- See you in third.
- Okay. Bye.
Babe, I wanted to talk to you about...
Wait. I should buy a dress.
- You don't need to buy a dress.
- Or at least go and change.
- I'll need at least an hour, okay?
- Yeah, fine.
Hey, uh, how is practice
with all the captain
stuff and, you know, Jess?
It's great. It's going really well.
Cool. Awesome. Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
[RYAN] Hannah needed
to reclaim her power.
Are you gonna ask him
about the Polaroid?
I don't trust him any
more than I did yesterday.
[EXHALES] How can you not trust
that little sleeping angel?
The f*ck are you looking at?
Justin, do you think that you
can keep your sh*t together
until someone comes over
to look after you later?
I'm running late. I gotta get to school.
I'm fine. I don't need a babysitter.
It's just so f*cking cold in here.
- [HANNAH] Chills. He has a fever.
- It's chills. You have a fever.
Well, get him another blanket.
- Maybe a shower would help.
- I'm not that bad.
You smell like dead
feet. Just shower, please.
Oh, I'm hungry.
How can you be hungry?
You threw everything up.
Maybe that's why I'm hungry.
Take a shower.
Have you seen this?
My God, was there anyone in your class
this Hannah wasn't involved with?
What? What do you mean?
Every day, there's
another boy in this story.
It's not surprising that
she had a reputation.
I will just be glad when this
is all over for you tomorrow,
and you are as far removed
from this mess as possible.
Yep.
[SHOWER RUNNING]
[FAINT SPLATTERING]
[SIGHS]
Hey. Your mom's starting
to think you're avoiding us.
[STAMMERS] Avoiding you? No. No, no.
I've just got a lot going on, you know?
You can't take every meal in your room.
I've just got so much work.
How about taking a break with me tonight?
Vertigo is at the Crestmont.
Let's go.
Oh, wow. I, um...
Is that the shower?
Yeah. Yeah, that's my, um...
I just figured I'd grab some
food while I let it heat up.
The new tankless heater
takes a while to warm up.
- Shouldn't take this long.
- It's not a big deal.
No, sometimes the valve
is on the cold side.
It's all good. Have some coffee.
Yeah, I'll get more.
Yeah. Movie tonight?
Exciting. So, yeah, thanks.
What the f*ck?
Yeah, Dad. Plenty hot. Water
heater's totally working.
- [JUSTIN] sh*t. Sorry.
- Just quiet.
Okay.
[SIGHS]
Can you get out now?
It has to look like I'm the
one in the shower, idiot.
Well, can you pass me some more shampoo?
These kids need to be
sympathetic, Olivia.
I worry about calling Ryan Shaver.
His deposition was practically smug.
We're putting pieces together.
We have to get Hannah's
poem into evidence,
and he's the one who...
printed it.
Morning.
- Hi. I'm Andy.
- Oh, of course, I remember.
- Will you be joining us today?
- No, he won't.
Well, I'll give you two a minute.
I wanna be here with you.
I need to be here. I'm
sorry I haven't been.
The things they've been saying in there,
things that you'll
hear, you have no idea.
I'll learn.
[JUSTIN] I don't know. It's
definitely not the pool house.
[CLAY] So, where is it, then?
I could ask one of the
guys and maybe figure out...
No. You stay here until
you're clean. For Jessica.
I could just show this around. It's...
No, I got it. Thanks.
[TONY] f*ck me. f*ck.
Wait...
He's my babysitter?
What happened to Sheri?
Sheri couldn't skip twice in a
row. She's taking the evening shift.
I thought he wanted
nothing to do with me.
No, I don't.
So keep your mouth shut
and don't piss me off.
Don't piss me off.
And if you puke on this leather,
I'm gonna have to kick your ass.
Great.
So, WebMD detox info and
contingency plans are on the desk.
Don't let anyone see
you. And I gotta go.
Um, have fun. Don't
k*ll each other. Thanks.
[CLAY] Bye.
[RYAN] But, as is almost always
the case in high school,
we mock what we don't understand.
That's what kids at
Liberty did to Hannah.
[DENNIS] What about faculty?
I mean, didn't they express concern
over the poem's suicidal contents?
The poem was read aloud in Mrs.
Cusick's class. That's about it.
So no one addressed
the anonymous author's
obvious cry for help
or asked you who wrote it?
Nope. No one took it seriously.
But then again, they rarely do.
["MANIAC" PLAYING]
♪ We hit the big time ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ I'm such a maniac ♪
♪ You're such a maniac ♪
♪ We're f*ckin' maniacs ♪
♪ We're f*ckin' maniacs ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
[MR. PORTER] Mr. Down?
♪ The city of night Is
the city of fools... ♪
My office, now.
I think you know why you're here.
Yeah, I'm aware.
You wanna tell me about these?
Wait, that's what this is about?
You took the pictures.
Yeah, last year.
How'd they end up saying, "drunk slut"?
Mr. Porter, I didn't do that.
I went into the photography classroom,
and the printer history in the lab
said that you were signed in.
Someone must've used it while I
was developing in the darkroom then.
Okay.
[SCOFFS]
So do we know who might be
doing this to Jessica, then?
Same person who smashed my
camera. Did anyone ever find them?
But Jessica and I get messed with?
And the people that deserve
to get messed with never do.
I think that can change.
I'll believe it when I see it.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
Isn't this, like, your
special resources period?
Yeah, I hate that sh*t. I just...
I gotta listen to these again.
Alex, uh...
last time, you listened,
I think, multiple times.
Yeah, I know. I just...
I keep listening to mine over and
over because it doesn't make sense.
It's like I'm missing something.
Do you...
Do you wanna talk about it?
- Aren't we talking about it?
- I guess so.
[CLAY] Hey, what is that guy doing?
[ALEX] Uh, chalking the field.
What is that machine?
[ALEX] I don't know. Like...
I guess it's a chalk machine?
I gotta go.
I don't know if it's
called a chalk machine.
No, I just...
- Look, don't listen too hard, okay?
- Yeah.
[HANNAH] It seems like nothing
until the hurricane hits.
Is that why you did it, Alex?
[RYAN] I can't pretend to know
what goes on in someone else's head.
It's poetry.
Most of the poets in our group write
about dark and messed-up things.
So you had no idea that Hannah was
crying out for help in her work,
or so the prosecution
would have us believe,
but you expect the school
to draw that conclusion?
[RYAN] It's their job, isn't it?
I mean, I'm sorry, but I'm
not a licensed therapist,
or a teacher.
Ryan, isn't it true that
you worked with Hannah
on many of her other poems?
Some, yes.
And do you recognize these?
Yes, they're other poems
from Hannah's journals.
Defense Exhibit F, Your Honor.
Uh, Ryan, did you work
with Hannah on this poem?
Yes, I did.
Would you read this poem
for the court, please?
"Oh, fruit forbidden,
so sour, so sweet..."
[HANNAH] "I have been
banished from the garden,
and I don't think I miss it.
And yet I want another bite."
[POP MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY OVER SPEAKERS]
I like how you subverted
the ode. That's good.
Some obvious metaphors there,
but there's a universality to it.
- I'm just...
- [CELL PHONE PINGS]
Sorry, uh, keep going.
I was going to say, I'm just wondering
if you shouldn't delve a little deeper.
You had another you wanted to read?
- Uh...
- [PHONE PINGS]
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Look, I know it seems silly, but the
no-phone rule is for a very good...
Justin Foley?
Shut up. Are...?
Hang on.
Holy sh*t.
- He's your forbidden fruit?
- No, he's not.
- We just text sometimes.
- Oh, you text?
And talk on the phone a little.
- Since when?
- I don't know.
He texted me that day
saying he was sorry,
and then, again, the next day.
Eventually, I stopped ignoring him.
And it felt good to know that
things didn't end up the way
- that people think they did.
- What...?
- You just told me to delve deeper.
- Not into him.
- You said yourself he ruined you.
- I know.
- I know, I just...
- Okay. I get it.
He makes all our panties drop.
Wait, you think Justin's hot?
Of course I do. I'm not blind,
or, like, chemically castrated.
You said, and I'm quoting,
that he was "the exemplar of
athleticus douchebaggerus."
Which only makes him hotter.
- I know, right? How is that even fair?
- All right, enough.
You put your hand on the hot stove.
Owie! You've learned your lesson.
- Yes?
- Yes.
[CHUCKLES]
You are going to delete
him from your phone...
- Ugh.
- And cleanse him from your heart.
Well, we should probably
skip my next three poems.
- [CHUCKLING]
- Why?
[SIGHS]
"It was the smile that did it first.
The way it seemed so easy
for you to be so happy.
That smile I wish I'd never seen."
- Stop it.
- [CHUCKLES]
And do you know who
this poem is about, Ryan?
- Objection. Hearsay.
- Declarant unavailable, Your Honor.
- [JUDGE] I'll allow it.
- And who is this poem about, Ryan?
I don't know.
Hmm.
Ryan, why don't you
read another poem for us?
[TYLER] f*cking Ryan Shaver.
Every single kid who's gone
to court has completely skated.
No one has admitted what they did.
It's just me. I'm the only one.
- Yeah, that Ryan's a f*cking tool.
- Worst kind of gay.
I mean, I didn't mean
that because he's gay.
Oh, I did.
He's f*cking shallow and pretentious,
and he f*cking dresses gay every day.
[EXHALES] Classic h*m*.
Chad's also gay, FYI.
Hence, he can say sh*t
the rest of us can't.
And if you ever want to f*ck with him,
there's an app for that.
I raised you three rectangular ones.
If I win, we get to go outside.
- No.
- Come on, just for a walk.
No. I'm sorry.
You heard the bossman.
Besides, you got people looking
for you on both sides of the law.
Since when is Tony Padilla
afraid of sh*t like that?
Holy sh*t.
You are scared.
Why?
My brothers and I, we b*at this guy up.
He ended up pressing
charges a few weeks later.
That was my second strike,
now I'm on probation.
If I get seen with you, we get busted,
that means number three,
that means I do time.
sh*t.
[JUSTIN SNIFFING]
What the f*ck happened to you?
- You don't gotta tell me.
- No, no, no. It's...
It's cool. It's...
I just basically blew
through most of my money
the first few weeks I was out,
living in, like, motels and sh*t.
Yeah, oxy was like taking
the edge off, but...
all these pills are so pricey, and...
heroin's cheap.
So you know, here I am.
sh1tting myself in
Clay Jensen's bathroom.
Put your f*cking shoes on.
So your parents weren't
pissed about yesterday?
No. They were disappointed.
Oh, disappointed. I hate that sh*t.
Plus, they want me to go to
group therapy, talk to someone.
- You can always talk to me.
- That's what I said.
Yeah, I won't, um, try to kiss you
every time or anything. [SCOFFS]
Yeah.
About that, I, uh...
[STAMMERS] No, I mean,
we don't have to...
We don't have to be about that,
you know, ever again, so...
Okay.
Thanks.
I listened to the tapes.
Clay finally gave them to me.
Jesus.
Are you...
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
Are you?
You never told me the
whole story about Bryce.
If I wanted to talk about that,
I'd go to stupid group therapy.
Okay.
Yeah, I get it.
I don't even know the
whole story myself.
- I don't remember all of it.
- Yeah, me neither.
[CLAY] Here we go.
I think I saw one of those chalk
machine things in here somewhere.
Which would mean?
The pictures were taken at school.
And?
It would be huge for your case.
And?
And holy sh*t, there it is.
We gotta find that room.
[RYAN] "Do I put that target on
my back again and again?
Or do I face a lifetime of wanting
the thing I should not have?"
[SONYA] You've read three poems
now, so I'll ask you again,
who were these poems about?
[DENNIS] Objection. Asked and answered.
- [SONYA] Your Honor?
- [JUDGE] I'll allow it.
Who's the poem about, Ryan?
Justin Foley.
So, after Justin
Foley, in her own words,
"ruined her and
destroyed her reputation,"
she maintained contact with him?
Yes.
- And kept writing poetry about him?
- Yes.
[SONYA] Nearly a half-dozen poems.
Any further mention of depression
or cries for help?
No.
And to your knowledge,
did she maintain personal
contact with Justin Foley?
I...
I don't know.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY OVER SPEAKERS]
Uh... hey.
[CHUCKLES]
[STAMMERS] You texted me you were here.
Never thinking you
would, like, come visit.
Yeah, well...
- Did you just feel like a latte?
- [CHUCKLES]
Actually, do you think
they have Gatorade here?
I'm guessing no.
Yeah, I've actually never been in here.
Well, neither have any of
your friends, so it's safe.
That's not...
I just...
We haven't really talked
in a while, so I...
I thought maybe I wanted
to see you, that's all.
Well, you see me at school.
Yeah, but you know how that is.
I don't, really. How is it?
Look, I don't f*cking like it, either.
But once you get tagged at
Liberty, that's what you've got.
Your tag seems a little
easier to live with than mine.
Look, I said I was sorry.
I've been saying it for months.
- Texting it, mostly.
- Well...
- I am.
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Sorry I'm late.
- Why, hello, Justin.
- Uh, hey, hey. Wha...
What's up?
[JUSTIN] Yeah, we were just finishing
up some homework stuff, so...
- Yeah, I'll see you at school.
- Sure. Talk to you at school.
Look, he just showed up.
- Hmm.
- I didn't ask him to.
I know.
- Okay, I know. Leave me alone.
- Cleanse him, Hannah, cleanse.
Cleanse.
I mean, she wrote about longing,
about love and the lack of love.
Why didn't you publish
any of those poems?
Because they weren't any good.
[SONYA] Ryan, be honest.
You published the poem you did
not because it was her truth,
but because you thought it
would shock the most, didn't you?
No.
She wasn't happy. She was
extremely upset and hurting.
She wrote about Justin and... And
other boys because she was lonely.
It's not about them, it's
about what they represented.
What they did to her and
what you're doing right...
No further questions, Your
Honor. Thank you, Ryan.
Redirect, Your Honor?
Ryan, why do you think Hannah
continued texting with Justin?
Justin Foley was a bad decision.
And we all make bad decisions.
Especially when we're desperately alone.
- Yeah, I think we should head back now.
- No.
It's so nice out.
Some fresh air, some vitamin D.
- Yeah.
- Some... some...
- Oh, sh*t.
- Oh, come on.
[RETCHES]
sh*t.
- Sorry.
- Jesus Christ, man.
Don't f*cking talk to people.
I was just apologizing to the
purple tracksuit lady. It's...
Ugh.
I don't get this whole
secret agent routine.
Oh, really, you don't get
that there are some people who
might not be happy to have you back?
Jessica wants me back.
That's all that f*cking matters.
Yeah. Yeah.
- Right? That's what she said, right?
- I didn't talk to her, Clay did.
He said she wants me here.
[ROCK MUSIC BLARING OVER SPEAKERS]
[TONY] I don't think...
I don't think it's that simple.
- I think she...
- What? What is it?
Does that car look familiar?
- [JUSTIN] Whose is it?
- I don't know. Obviously,
they go to our school.
So you got your wish.
Everybody's gonna know you're back.
- [CAR HONKING]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
- I'm glad you came.
- [ANDY] Me, too.
- That was a lot to take.
- Oh, today was a good day.
It can get much worse, believe me.
I believe you.
See you tomorrow.
It's nice seeing you two together.
- Nice for the jury, too, right?
- That's not what I'm thinking.
- Well, I am.
- Okay, I understand.
I'm worried about you, though.
It's easy to fall into old patterns,
to rely on someone who
has proven unreliable.
Don't worry.
I've moved on.
[RYAN] A lot of us keep holding
on even when we should let go.
- sh*t.
- [HANNAH] Floors don't match.
[SIGHS] No couch.
Damn it.
There has to be some
athletics room somewhere.
Maybe Justin could help.
You would say that.
What does that mean?
- How are you so quick to forgive him?
- I didn't say I forgave him.
Why do girls even like guys
like Justin? I mean, why did you?
He's always been an assh*le.
His best friend is a r*pist.
I didn't know that then.
You were warned.
- Kat warned you.
- Oh, so it's my fault?
- I'm not saying that.
- What are you saying, then?
I just...
I don't understand why people love
people who aren't good for them.
I don't know what to tell you.
We don't choose who we fall for.
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
You sure it was Justin?
[SCOFFS] That's what I heard.
Why would he be with Tony?
Think he came back to testify?
- f*ck if I know, or care.
- [COACH] All right, listen up.
State guy's coming down
tomorrow to do the screens.
So if that is a concern for you,
see me in my office.
Hey.
You all set for tomorrow? For
court? You want me to come with you?
That's all right, Coach. But thanks.
[MONTGOMERY] Think
that's why he came back?
[BRYCE] I don't know. Drop it.
[MONTGOMERY SCOFFS]
Go. Everything's fine.
Yeah, you keep saying that.
You tell me you've got sh*t
taken care of, but I don't see it.
- And why the f*ck do you care, exactly?
- [SCOFFS]
You, man. Us. State.
All taken care of.
Go. Get your synthetic pee.
Zachy, you coming?
No, I'm good, brother. Don't need it.
Not gonna tell on us, are you?
Why, you think I'm a rat?
No, of course not. I just
wish I had your genes, man.
- You did all right.
- [LAUGHS]
You flatter me.
[ZACH] Got your back, brother.
- Thanks, buddy.
- Yeah.
Thanks, ladies.
I'm probably overthinking it,
but not every girl gets
to meet the parents, right?
- True. Later, girl.
- Bye.
Hey, Jess.
- Great work today.
- Thanks.
Sorry we had to end early.
I have to go home and change
for dinner with Bryce's parents.
- I have no idea what I'm gonna wear.
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
I'm sure you could wear anything,
Chlöe, and they'll still love you.
Hey, Jess.
We'll find you a man, okay? You
just have to let me help you.
I mean it. I kinda pride
myself on my matchmaking...
Look, Chlöe, I don't
want a f*cking boyfriend.
Okay?
The last thing I need in my life
right now is some f*cking guy.
And you, the fact that you
keep, like, offering that...
means you're just as f*cking
clueless as I thought.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[RYAN] I was trying
to be Hannah's friend.
I needed a friend as much as she did.
Um. Hi.
Hi.
I, um...
I was friends with Hannah, and
I let her down, and I'm sorry.
I just wanted to come by and say
what they're doing to her is bullshit.
Thank you.
Can I...?
Can I ask you some questions
about Hannah's journals?
Oh, um...
Yes, of course.
[OLIVIA] She mentions "the
clubhouse" in three different poems.
"Something changed after the clubhouse.
I imagined myself for a
moment one of the elite,
but I never should have
gone to the clubhouse."
"... In his lucky letter jacket."
- That's gotta be Justin, right?
- It could be.
I don't know.
I don't remember anything
about a clubhouse.
Damn it.
Okay. What about "the intruder"?
He comes up several times, too.
There's a whole poem about him.
"Sometimes the intruder
doesn't need to break a window.
Sometimes they already have the key."
Do you know this one?
No.
I think it's about the
bullying at the school.
The house is on fire,
her lungs are filling up with smoke,
and the intruder,
it's this other Hannah that
everyone thought they knew.
Oh, no, that makes sense.
[HANNAH GROANS]
It's f*cking useless, Ryan.
We write and write about sh*t,
and nothing ever changes. I'm done.
Hannah, you have a gift. Not
gonna let you throw that away.
A gift?
- You say that so easily like you know.
- I do.
Yeah, well, I wish I did.
I wish I didn't need
people to tell me I'm good,
or that they like me, but I do.
That... That's great stuff.
That's what you should write about.
No.
Enough writing about my
emotions. Can we just eat them?
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, we
can totally eat them.
[EXHALES] Vanilla or
mint chocolate chip?
Please. Vanilla is not a flavor.
It's an admission of defeat.
- ["TINSELTOWN SWIMMING IN BLOOD" PLAYING]
- [CHUCKLES]
♪ I was blind ♪
♪ Off in the corner
doing poet's work... ♪
[RYAN] Hannah was so talented,
but she didn't know it.
♪ It was just a dream... ♪
[RYAN] She wrote out of love, out of need.
♪ I couldn't see... ♪
[RYAN] And I wanted to show her
that the rush of people loving your work
is just as good as love.
♪ Doing poet's work ♪
♪ That's all right for now ♪
- [RYAN] So I stole her poem.
- ♪ It was just a dream ♪
♪ Of your blue eyes ♪
♪ Tinseltown dripping in blood ♪
[RYAN] It was just one poem.
[SONG ECHOES, FADING]
But I was wrong.
I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.
Sometimes I fantasize that all the
answers are in these torn-out pages.
Oh, I... I don't think
so, I... [CHUCKLES]
I imagine those are
just false starts or...
things she was ashamed
to even admit to herself.
Why did she keep in contact with Justin?
Loneliness.
It can be intense at our age.
It's not just at your age.
[RYAN] What she needed most was love.
Human connection.
[CHIMES]
_
_
You didn't quit cheerleading
because Justin's back?
I know, news travels
fast in these halls.
Don't care.
- You don't care that he's back?
- No.
Know where he's staying?
Justin needs help, too.
He should be enrolled in school.
The only address I have of
him is his dad in Sacramento.
Oh, well.
Jess, I'll be honest.
I know what it's like
to try to be strong
and keep your problems all to you.
But it does not work.
You don't have to talk to me.
But talk to someone.
If I don't have to
talk to you, can I go?
Justin's never met his dad.
His mom lives with some
drug dealer named Seth.
- Do you think she likes her?
- Your mother?
- Yeah.
- Uh, sure.
Chlöe's a great girl. Very pretty.
Yeah, she's got a brain, too.
Her grades are better than mine.
[CHUCKLES]
And she's loyal?
Yeah.
That's important.
- You did good.
- Thanks, Dad.
Here we go.
Wow.
You seem quite happy, the two of you.
Oh, yeah, absolutely. He's so
sweet to me, like, all the time.
- Sweet?
- Yeah.
- That's good to hear.
- [CHUCKLES]
Oh. Cheerleading. Full-contact sport.
I see.
[SOFT LAUGHTER]
How do you know about Justin?
Because Jessica told me when we
ditched with your car yesterday.
Said that Clay went and found him.
- Clay?
- Yeah.
Okay, do you know anything about
where he's living or why he's back?
No, Zach, and I really
don't f*cking care.
Why is everything always
about f*cking Justin?
- Whoa. Relax, dude. It's not.
- [SIGHS]
- Hey, are you okay?
- Yeah.
Jessica and I kissed yesterday.
Seriously?
Dude, that's... that's great.
Is that great?
Yeah, well, but then
she freaked out on me.
And now it's just...
It's totally weird. I...
Yeah, that makes sense
that she would freak out.
Yeah. But I just... I still think
it has something to do with Justin.
And you know what's the most f*cked up?
When we kissed, I couldn't
even feel anything.
- You mean, like, emotionally, or...?
- No, like, down there.
I was just numb.
I haven't really felt
anything, like, post-coma.
- Have you tried p*rn?
- Yeah, of course I've tried p*rn.
But I thought with a real
person, maybe it would, you know.
Yeah. Well, dude, honestly, it'll happen.
You just gotta find the right girl.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
All right, well, let me
know when you find yours.
Maybe she's got a friend
who's into scrawny and broken.
Well, not broken forever.
Let's go. Come on.
[SIGHS]
[LAINIE] I'm sorry, Sheri.
He went to the movies with his dad.
- He must have forgotten to text you.
- Yeah, he must have.
I'm happy that you two are friends again.
I know you've been through a great deal.
Yeah, we have.
I think Clay's still working
on trying to forgive me.
- Well, if he asked you to come study...
- Yeah.
Actually, why don't
you stay? Wait for him.
Sure.
Can I ask you a question for
a case that I'm working on?
Let's say a boy and a girl,
uh, have been texting a lot,
and then all of a sudden, it
stops, what would that mean?
Well, they were probably dating,
right? Then they broke up.
What if they never dated?
Oh. That's probably just a hookup.
[RYAN] Hannah was desperate
for human connection,
and I betrayed her.
["WILL YOU BE BY ME" PLAYING]
I guess I left her even more
lonely than she was before.
And I guess I know how she feels.
♪ When the diction starts ♪
[CHUCKLES]
♪ And it breaks my heart ♪
♪ Will you be by me ♪
♪ If my heart would fail... ♪
How'd it go today?
Um. Not great, actually.
You're fine. I didn't say
anything, if you're worried.
I wasn't. I... just wanted
to know how you were doing.
Are you here alone?
- You wanna join us?
- "Us"?
Caleb, Ryan. Ryan, Caleb.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice...
handshake, wow. [CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES] Sure you don't wanna join us?
Yeah, actually, no, I was
just leaving. I got stood up.
Apparently, my date joined the app today.
He's a noob, so you know. Just...
Um...
Forget him. Stay. Plus I want
some dirt on Mr. Perfect here.
- Oh, he knows about our past, that's...
- Barely any of it.
[TONY] You're not interested
in high school bullshit.
[CALEB] If it's about you, I am.
Come on, Ryan. Seriously. Stay.
[RYAN] What Hannah needed was a
friend, and I wasn't that.
[WOMAN] For the longest
time, nothing was the same.
How long I slept, what
I ate, what I wore.
I mean, my clothes didn't
feel like me anymore.
Bright colors made me feel like a fraud
and my black clothes didn't
seem dark enough, and...
Just nothing seemed to fit. Just
literally everything felt like a lie.
And nothing I did seemed
to help. No drink, no drug.
Well, I didn't actually try every drug,
but let me tell you, weed just had
me crying and all in my feelings.
You know, but the one thing that
did seem to help was all of you.
And I'm thankful today that just...
coming here and talking to you
has been the thing that's
brought me back to who I am.
You know, a loud,
pushy, pain in the ass.
[LAUGHTER]
But you know you love
me, and I love you.
Thank you.
Took you long enough.
How did you know?
About me.
Um, I didn't.
I just figured in case
those rumors were bullshit,
which they obviously were,
that I'd be a friendly face.
Friendly and slightly
stalkerish? [CHUCKLES]
I don't stalk. I lurk.
- Oh, okay.
- And it worked, didn't it?
Yeah. [LAUGHS]
- [METAL MUSIC BLARING]
- ♪ Wild and free ♪
- ♪ Wild and free ♪
- [MRS. DOWN] Ty?
- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- ♪ Wild and free ♪
- Honey?
- [KNOCKING CONTINUES]
♪ Wild and free ♪
- Ty.
- ♪ In the heat of the summer ♪
- ♪ Better call out a plumber... ♪
- Ty.
Turn it down.
- What?
- Turn the music down.
[MUSIC FADES]
Hey, sorry, what?
That's, um...
some music.
- It's punk.
- Oh.
They sound angry.
- They are.
- Oh.
Okay. Uh...
What are they so angry about?
Everything.
- I see.
- Yeah.
Mr. Barbour called
today. From up the street.
He said he saw you and your friend,
Cyrus, sh**ting g*ns on his property.
What? sh**ting g*ns?
That wasn't me. I don't know, I...
- That old guy's crazy, I guess.
- No.
He said it was you. That's why
he called me and not the police.
Oh, wait, does he mean...
does he mean Cyrus' BB g*n?
- Is that what he's talking about?
- A BB g*n?
It's like this old thing
Cyrus has. It's like a toy.
You know, it's not real.
- Maybe that's what he saw.
- Oh. Okay.
Hmm.
Still, you know how I feel
about g*ns of any kind.
Yeah. No, I do, I do. And
I even... I told Cyrus that.
Which is why we went to Mr.
Barbour's field to be extra careful.
And did Cyrus give you that music?
And that shirt?
We made the shirts ourselves, you know.
They're quite bold.
I hope you save them for
the appropriate audience,
and not school.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Well...
- Don't stay up too late.
- I won't.
- G'night. Love you.
- Good night.
[SLOW MUSIC PLAYING]
Hey, there.
Hi.
[WOMAN] I think there's something
wrong with your camera.
Oh, yeah, it's broken, so...
What's your name, cutie?
Um...
My name is Zach.
Well, hi, Zach.
If I can't see you, how will I
know how big and hard you are?
Um...
Well, I could describe myself.
Yeah, I'm ' ".
I'm jacked 'cause I work out a lot.
Sounds like a hot bod.
You like this?
- Yeah, I do like that.
- [WOMAN] Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, that's good.
- Oh. Oh, yeah.
Mmm.
Oh, God. [PANTING]
f*ck! God damn it.
What's wrong? You don't like?
No. I mean, yes, I do, I... [SIGHS]
No, I do like it. It's
not you, it's me. I just...
I don't work.
And I'm not...
I'm not ' ", I'm not jacked, I'm...
I'm really skinny and
funny-looking, and my d*ck's broken.
Okay. Um...
Honey, how old are you?
- Twenty-five.
- Uh-huh.
Look, it's or older.
Sorry, kiddo.
[SIGHS]
I'm sorry. I didn't
get your text message.
The procedure is if you see the
car, you go through the window.
Your whole family has the same car.
- I thought it was you.
- Mine is smaller.
Okay, anyways,
I made an excuse to go to your
room and use your bathroom,
so that Tony could leave, and
Justin's been asleep ever since.
Well, at least he didn't get discovered.
Yeah, um, about that...
[DOOR OPENS]
When were you gonna
tell me someone saw you?
When were you gonna tell me about Jess?
I talked to Tony.
- She doesn't want me here, does she?
- It's complicated.
- You lied to me.
- No, I... It's the truth.
Jessica just... doesn't realize it yet.
- [SCOFFS]
- She'll change her mind.
You have to get sober, and she'll see.
f*ck that.
I'm wasting my time.
She kept your postcard.
It's how we found you.
She kept it, Justin.
"Nancy, I'll always love you. Sid."
Why would she keep that?
I really did love her.
[SOFT POP SONG PLAYING]
So, stay.
[RYAN] Do you wanna know why
Hannah wrote these poems?
She was reaching out.
She was desperate to
be heard, to connect.
And people took that
lifeline and they twisted it.
Hey, kiddo.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
Uh, I was...
I was thinking maybe I'd
try to sleep in here tonight.
Really?
- That's wonderful.
- Yeah, well, it's fine.
Do you want me to tuck
you in, or is that silly?
Silly.
[JESSICA CHUCKLES]
[RYAN] They took her own
story away from her.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
And she fought to get it back.
- Who are you?
- Kevin Porter.
Guidance counselor at Liberty High.
I'm looking for your son.
Look, what can I tell you? He ran away.
You don't wanna know how he's
doing, or is he alive, or...?
He can take care of
himself, okay? Always has.
- Ma'am, he's years old.
- [CAR DOOR SLAMS]
[SETH] Who the f*ck are you?
I'm Justin's guidance counselor,
Kevin Porter. And you are?
I'm the one that punk stole
a thousand dollars from.
So you gonna get me my money back?
Well, I'm not really here for that.
Then I suggest you get
the f*ck off my property.
Listen. Justin, he needs a home.
Well, he had a home, and he
f*cked it up. Case closed.
- Goodbye.
- Okay, I wish you would back off.
[CHUCKLES]
- Or what?
- Don't do that, man.
You gonna give me detention, huh?
[GRUNTS]
Ah! Come on!
[GRUNTS]
[RYAN] But in the end,
the story they told was so loud
that it's all that she could hear...
and she started to believe
it and forgot who she was.
f*ck.
[RYAN] It's easy to let that
happen, to lose yourself.
To believe that no one
could ever know you,
or love you.
- [INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
- [SIRENS WAILING]
[RYAN] And that you're the only person
that knows what you're going through.
And you convince yourself
it's going to get better.
And then, it doesn't.
[KATHERINE LANGFORD] For help
finding crisis resources,
visit reasonswhy.info.
02x05 - The Chalk Machine
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Follows teen Clay Jensen, in his quest to uncover the story behind, Hannah, and her decision to end her life.
Follows teen Clay Jensen, in his quest to uncover the story behind, Hannah, and her decision to end her life.