04x10 - Strong Hearts Strong Sales

[bunniefuu]

What time is it?

Time to sleep in.

Are the kids up?

I got it.

You da best.

Breakfast time!

Wake up, nuggets!

I'm up.

K-man. If you're not up in five,

I'm coming back with the fire extinguisher again.

Oh!

Hey. Look at what I got.

Mint. I got maple cream,

I got birthday cake and I got double stuff.

Trade amongst yourselves. Mix and match. But do not tell your mother.

Where. Wait. Where is she, by the way?

-Work.
-Okay, well.

We're supposed to load up the minivan. Right?

I don't know.

-When's she coming home?
-I don't know.

But she said no snacks.

Ink. Chemicals. Paper.

-The hologram is polymer.
-One-stop shop.

Everything you need.

Why are you making it so easy?

Because you b*tches made it so messy.

What happens when I gotta wash it?

-Don't worry about it.
-Where am I supposed to do it?

Duty Free? Tim Hortons downtown?

-They take Canadian?
-You don't have to.

-What about my cut?
-What about it?

-Does it come in loonies?
-Elizabeth?

All you have to do is print and drop.

Your husband's here.

Just need to.

trade cars.

Now?

Thought we'd hit the road early for, you know.

Oh! Kenny's game, yeah.

You're not supposed to be here.

Yeah, neither are you.

No, man, I mean, it's not gonna be
good for anybody when the cops come.

I'm within range. It's low battery.

Please, just go.

How you feel about baby blue?

Eh.

Okay. How about. ostrich?

Better.

Okay. Okay.

What if.

we combined the two?

-That the new one?
-Yep.

She said we can swap whatever we want.

Awesome.

Yeah, lowers our cost, like, %.

-Good for you.
-This is good for sales.

Next party's gonna be pure profit, baby.

Oh, I'm not going.

-Hey, what now?
-Can't.

I didn't even tell you when it is.

Doesn't matter.

Wait. Baby, you're the one that wanted to keep this train running.

Not if you two are gonna keep clapping at each other.

Oh, my God. Ruby.

No one is clapping at anyone.

No, it's worse. Last party, you didn't speak to her.

What? I got nothing to say.

I had to be the go-between for my husband and best friend.

-Then don't be.
-You don't have to love her.

Don't.

-Don't even have to like her.
-Oh, I don't.

Just take the high road.

What for?

Me.

You say all this to her?

She can take the high road.

Our first family meeting.

-Just meeting.
-One sec.

Okay. First up, let's go over the bathroom rules.

I know, I know. Off limits.

No, we're cool if you use it.

But I got the bucket.

Yeah. We'd actually like you to get rid of that.

Mmm.

Number two, do not wash your underwear in the kitchen sink.

Mmm. Let me guess. Bathroom.

Washer. It's in the basement.

And it's free.

What?

Okay. Um.

Where do you guys stand on parties?

Anti.

We're also anti your music, and the shopping cart

that's parked in the hallway with the cans in it.

My bank account?

Got to go.

Which I believe brings us to the timeline.

How long are we talking here?

For what?

For the length of stay.

-I don't understand the question.
-When will you be leaving?

When's graduation?

Uh.

Is his name Chris or Kevin?

It is way too late to ask.

Car is packed. They hit the ice at : .

Okay.

Next year, he'll be bantamweight,

so you won't have to get up at the cr*ck of dawn.

Dean.

I mean, I really wish I could take him.

No one knew this would happen.

Can you FaceTime me when he plays?

Not me, not the Secret Service.

-Don't.
-I'm trying to explain what you saw.

I didn't see anything.

All right.

-Just FaceTime me, please.
-Yeah.

How are you doing, dear?

Good.

I'll have them to you in an hour.

What happened with the Kleinbat mitzvah?

The one with the pop-upTorahs?

-They were a week late.
-Yeah, but she loved them.

She didn't really have a choice, did she?

Is everything okay?

We need to talk about Megan.

Oh, God. That wasn't on her.

I'm gonna make some changes.

No, no. I was just going through some
personal stuff. That was totally my fault.

She's getting promoted.

Oh. To what?

Shift manager.

Isn't that my job?

You're a wonderful mother.

Spend more time at home. They grow up so fast.

My husband's out of work. I really need this job.

I need someone I can rely on.

Megan's in eleventh grade.

Sweetie, it's just a job.

Oh, Dorothy. It is so much more than that.

I'm gonna need you to clean out your craft cubby.

I still don't get it.

What's there to get?

How will they know who they want to
marry if they can't see each other?

That's literally the point.

But they're blind.

For four episodes, she thought this
show was about blind people dating?

-It's not?
-Thank you.

What is wrong with y'all?

We have bigger issues right now than Amber and Barnett.

Yeah. Jessica won't hump Mark.

You know, I don't see why.

She can't see anything. Excuse me.

We don't have anywhere to print, guys.

Ugh. Can't we just sneak in?

Yeah. Middle of the night, do one big run?

Because it's never one. He always wants more.

So, we'll go back.

Then she'll change the alarm.

-Why don't we steal the whole thing?
-Hey. Now you're talking.

Okay. And then, what do we do with a two-ton printing press?

I don't know. We'd put it in your garage.

So Mrs. Karpinski can just drop in and borrow the leaf blower?

What's she gonna do, call a Mountie?

Or my kids walk in and Mom's printing cash.

I can see that that could be a problem.

I got a place.

Let's just get another storage unit, you know?

Electricity, drainage, ventilation.

-Calm down.
-Guys.

Not to mention space, privacy.

It's called a brainstorming sesh.

I know where we can do it.

Where?

Strip club. Still shut down.

Can Stan get us in?

-What do we have to do to convince him?
-Not "we."

What?

We have a Philly cheesesteak special.

That'll come on an onion roll, choice of side, fries or coleslaw.

I think we need a couple minutes.

Set you up with some waters.

-Want to share something?
-The answer's no.

Or just get your own.

I'm not putting my neck on the line for you.

It's not just for me.

I don't want my wife in anything else you got going.

Well, it's a little late for that.

-Ready to order?
-She's on her own.

Couple more minutes.

This guy doesn't care about what you want.

-Find someplace else, okay?
-There is nowhere else.

Beth. The less you and I got to deal with each other, the better.

You think he's gonna let us off the hook because you're pissed at me?

You've got to worry about your family
and I've got to worry about mine.

I'm sorry.

Is that what you want to hear?

What for?

What you sorry for?

I am sorry.

that you feel that I have.

somehow put your family in a.

not ideal situation.

Okay. All right, let me try this one on.

So, you're sorry that I feel you should be sorry.

-What else do you want?
-I want you to mean it.

Okay.

I am sorry.

Better.

I'm sorry that what I got your wife into makes her happy.

That's how you're gonna play this?

Not to mention pays your bills.

You know what I want?

Please.

I want you out of her life.

Okay.

Okay.

You get us in that club, and she'll never see me again.

Maid of honor.

-I know.
-You're just gonna give all that up.

Dean's facing to .

Can't stick around for a trial.

What looks good, folks?

We'll share the chili fries.

And sea kelp moisturizer's up %.

-All right!
-Nice!

Guys, we've got to push the spot-fading serums, though, right?

Maybe they'd sell if they didn't smell like ass.

Active ingredients.

Smell means what?

It's working.

Right. It's a joke.

I like jokes.

You know what else is a joke? Your numbers.

It's just one month.

Till it's two.

Then three. Then four. Then you're flat on your face.

-I'm on it.
-What happens if he isn't on it, fellows?

We pick him up!

-What's holding you back?
-Uh.

Thing with Jules' mom again.

How long does she want to stay this time?

She bought a one-way ticket.

Oh, boy.

-What's he got to do, fellows?
-Stand up!

Evolution has given us the ability to stand up.

We stand up for our families.

Stand up for our community.

Stand up when we pee.

It's not that easy.

Then let's do it together.

Good boy, Cory!

Now, you go home and you stand up to Jules.

-Yeah.
-Strong sales!

-Strong hearts!
-Here we go.

Dean. You put up some solid numbers this week.

Thanks.

Let's keep it that way.

What's going on with you?

I'm fine.

You don't get slapped with an ankle bracelet by being fine.

Look, I love selling the products. Because they're great. It's just.

You know, all this, it's just.

not really my thing.

All right, let's wrap it up, fellows.

-Strong sales!
-Strong hearts!

Hey, Dean?

-No pressure.
-Cool.

Do you really want to make it here?

I mean, yeah.

Then you're gonna need all the help you can get.

Hi.

Excuse me.

Any idea where, uh, your friend is?

You mean Kevin?

Kevin. Thank you.

Oh, hey. Uh, you're all out of shampoo.

That was a brand-new bottle.

Yeah. You know, we were all pretty gnarly.

Can I speak with you outside for a moment?

Yeah.

-I thought I said no parties.
-I know.

What the hell is that?

It's laundry club.

That is not a thing.

Well, not for the homed.

Okay. You know what? This is not gonna work.

-It's only once a month.
-No. No. This.

This. You here with us.

Well, I have no place else to go.

Can't you bunk with that old man?

Oh, no, Murphy's super private.

It's just. It's too weird.

Just give it a chance.

It's too weird for my son.

Well, I'm his guardian.

On paper.

Yeah, all right. Fine.

I'll, uh.

I'll go get my stuff.

Thank you.

And, yeah, I'll let the school know.

Whoa-ho.

Let the school know what?

I'm no longer your domestic partner.

You can't do that.

Well, I can't lie.

I mean, you can.

But I'm not gonna.

It's for my kid.

Sorry.

It's just too weird.

That woman could only own a paper store.

Mmm, I don't know.

Name literally anything else.

Christmas tree farm.

Same diff.

Or, like, a jam store in Vermont.

I mean something that wouldn't be in a Lifetime movie.

Okay. Then, I don't know.

Okay, let's go.

We have a weird thing going on with the neighbors.

Yeah, so the quicker, the better.

And quieter.

We'd do it during business hours, but.

The new model arrives in the morning, so.

And we've really got to hit the ground running, right?

Yes, Mother's Day, graduation. They're all right around the corner.

Father's Day?

Can't leave out the dads.

Gonna stop you right there.

We have cash.

We're not doing this.

A lot of cash.

It's not the money.

Okay, you know what? I'll be real with you.

We are straight-up stealing this thing.

You don't need to know the why, but know that our life depends on it.

And you can waste time with morality, that's fine.

But just know that you are looking at three mostly good moms

who really need your help.

We don't have a problem with any of that.

Thing just won't fit.

It's too big, won't go through the door.

But if you've got anything smaller you want to steal,

we're cool with that.

How did it get in here?

Maybe they built the building around it.

This ancient machine from Germany was just sitting here.

Maybe.

In a field.

Maybe.

Until Dorothy stumbles upon it and decides. card shop.

Maybe.

Someone must've put it together piece by piece.

Can't we find that guy?

How?

Well, who services it?

-Repair guy.
-Okay.

So, we find that guy.

Who knows Dorothy.

Then can we just get somebody who's, like, "handy"?

At this hour?

There are apps.

What, TaskRabbit?

There are others.

-What's it like inside there?
-Guys.

Earth still round? Is the sky even blue?

Dean.

You think he could do it?

He took apart our dishwasher last week.

I guess this is kind of like an appliance.

Would he?

So, how do we convince him?

Not we.

Honey, wake up.

-Come on.
-What's going on?

Come on, we need your help.

-Now?
-Yeah, can't wait. I'm sorry.

-Is it the kids?
-No.

Is it my mom?

No. I need your toolbox.

-Oh, it's the toilet again.
-No.

Well, what is it?

Dean.

No.

Listen.

No.

This is the only way we're gonna turn this around.

How does helping him help me?

If I keep him in business,
he won't notice what I'm doing on the side.

What are you doing on the side now?

I am saving up.

For my lawyer?

-To run.
-Where?

I don't care, as long as they can't find us.

I'd rather have a lawyer.

You would need the entire bar association to save you now.

I'll get my tools.

What?

Um.

Can you guys give us a minute?

But my pulp's gonna dry.

Let's check out the pole.

How's it going?

It's almost there.

Thank you.

I never realized what went into all of this.

Yeah. I mean, it took a second for us to find our groove.

It's impressive.

Yeah?

And terrifying.

Why?

When we get to where we're going.

how do I know he won't be there?

I'm not gonna forward our mail.

Like.

How do I know he's not gonna be in your head?

Because.

he never belonged there in the first place.

And what about all this?

What about it?

What's gonna replace it?

You and the kids.

Where are you going?

We've never made you smile like all this just did.

-You have to finish.
-Why?

Because, I told you. This is what gets us out.

No, that's what gets you off.

This whole time, I thought he was the problem.

He's just the excuse.

What's it look like?

Even if we find it, how will we put it together?

We can figure out five pieces. It's not like it's .

Okay. Does it look like this?

Kind of.

Okay. Or more like this?

-Kind of.
-Just get both.

Uh.

Mmm. It's in Germany.

You've got to talk to him.

What's there to say anymore?

What did you say to Stan?

I just told him what he wanted to hear.

Then, do the same.

Mmm.

Really, really sucks to be you this week.

Going.

Hey, hey. What are you doing?

Yo, this is super fly.

That is not yours.

Like the Tesla of lacrosse sticks.

Give it back.

-Score!
-Stop. Okay, that is enough.

That's enough. I can't take it anymore, okay?

I'm relocating you.

-Huh?
-Yeah. I'm gonna lease you a house.

-For real?
-Yep.

On wheels.

See? It's got a shower and a foldout bed,

and it gets miles to the gallon, and there's a stove.

How can you afford that?

I can't.

But I also can't afford to have my son be kicked out of his school.

Ow. You want me out that bad.

I never wanted you in.

Well, uh.

Yeah, if we're being honest.

Please.

I kind of just assumed he was a little d*ck.

My son.

You know, he goes to some fancy-ass school.

He has a bathroom.

But, uh. And now that I've hung with him,

he's, like, a regular dude.

Thanks. I think.

Yeah, that school could probably use someone dope like him.

That's why I've got to do whatever it takes.

You know what? Just, uh.

Yeah, you can forget about the home on wheels.

What are you gonna want instead?

Oh, just keep him in lacrosse.

You know, don't let him become some theater kid.

Where are you gonna live?

With Murphy.

I thought he was too private.

I snagged him a refrigerator box from Best Buy, so he owes me.

Gotcha.

Uh.

Can I put onMaddowwhile I pack?

Sure.

Corporate has given us an extra % margin on all of these.

-Cha-ching.
-Yep.

-Get them out there as fast as possible.
-Rosehips.

Pair it with the Restorative Night Cream. Great add-on.

Do we use it before or after the face wash?

I don't know.

You're gonna wash off $ face cream right after you put it on?

I robbed a greeting card store.

What's that, Dean?

I stole a printing press.

Is that how you got the bracelet?

That's.

because my wife was laundering a g*ng's money

through my business.

Yeah, but what did you need the press for?

She uses it to make counterfeit.

What happened to her?

Not a damn thing.

And you're the one in the bracelet.

I owed her.

That's a big-time debt.

I messed up big-time.

Girl at work?

More than just one of them.

Still going on?

God, no. It was forever ago.

What's manslaughter get you, Z?

Good behavior? Few years, tops.

-I didn't m*rder anyone.
-Exactly.

You just put your penis in some strange.

Human nature, bro.

People make mistakes.

She doesn't feel that way.

Then you've got to let it go.

I don't know that I can.

-Johnny, give me the key.
-All right.

Come on. Come with me. You've got to get up, buddy.

Come on. Come on.

Right over here. Right there.

Get ready.

Come on, Dean.

Don't let her keep you behind those bars.

Nope. Come on, buddy.

-Do it.
-There you go. Come on.

Uh-huh. Good boy.

That's right.

It's okay, it's okay.

Yeah!

Yeah.

You're free.

Free.

Dad!

I'm in here, bud.

I got one goal and one assist.

What? Nice!

That's amazing.

Come on. Go get in the bath.

Tried to FaceTime you.

I was busy.

I can't promise you that I won't get bored.

Or.

think it might be fun to hit a grocery store again.

But at least we'll have a sh*t.

Because if we stay here, nothing's gonna change.

You can print.

I finished it.

Why?

I just let it go.

D-man! Give me the recap!

Braid emergency.

So, you're just gonna take my job?

-You weren't home.
-I got them.

Work emergency trumps braid emergency.

Let me see.

That's not bad, right?

I don't think Alicia Keys will be calling you, but.

Snoop might, though.

So, now you do locks?

You want to give it a go?

I'm all good.

How did it go?

Couple of speed bumps, but we pulled it off.

Okay. How long is it gonna take?

Till we find somewhere else, I guess.

The city will put that place up for auction soon.

What's soon?

You'll know when the sticker's on the door.

Thanks for making that work.

I just gave you a key.

I meant with her.

Mmm.

Well, she's your girl.

What did she say to you?

Everything I wanted to hear.

What? What's funny?

She said the exact same thing to me.

Mmm.

Hey. Where is he?

-He's in the shower.
-Oh, God.

I got us all new peanut butter,

mayo, mustard, and soy sauce.

Where is he gonna go?

To a lovely DIY duplex.

I used his move today.

-What do you mean?
-Rusty gate.

-Ew!
-It's this really tough check.

If you do it wrong, you get a penalty.

Wait, hang on. He taught you a lacrosse move?

-He was All-American.
-What?

Played for Maryland.

Okay. Just need five more minutes and I'm out.

Oh, and hey, if you ever want to work on more defense stuff,

just come by the dumpster behind the Kroger.

-You still coming to the game?
-I wouldn't miss it.

Unless I can't find someone to watch my cart.

Check.

Ooh.

Benjamin, nice reflexes.

All right.

So, he's back in?

What do you want from me? I caved.

What about that bucket?

He held strong.

-Dude.
-Yeah.

What's up, ladies?

Just business.

Knew you still got it.

It wasn't easy.

That maple leaf is, like, four different colors.

Cool.

When do you want the rest of it?

I don't.

Why?

My guys can't clean the Queen here.

-You said all we had to do was print it.
-Yeah. And then drop it.

I assumed that you meant in our country.

Jesus, not again.

Why can't it ever be Mexico?

When?

When I'm ready.

-Avoided it for so long.
-Don't.

But I think we all knew this day would come.

It's like you want it to happen.

I'm just saying.

You stay in the game long enough,

something's bound to wind up in your ass.