Toxic Avenger, The (1984)

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Toxic Avenger, The (1984)

Post by bunniefuu »

New York City, the world capital
of culture and industry.


Here, among the
towering skyscrapers,


civilization is guided by men of
progress and the wonders of technology.


But for all this industrial
advancement, there is a price to pay.


Pollution. The unavoidable
byproduct of today's society.


Every year, millions of
gallons of poisonous wastes,


garbage, and radioactive chemicals
are disposed of in nearby towns


such as Tromaville, the toxic waste
dumping capital of the world.


Our story takes place at
the Tromaville Health Club


where a young man named
Melvin Furd works.


Melvin's entire life, in fact

entire being was changed
by toxic chemical waste.


Would you take a look
at that f*cking guy?

Dumb mop boy can't even mop right.

He's so stupid!

He's always got that
sh*t-eating grin on his face.

What's he so happy about?

I hate that mop boy.

I think that creep
is coming over here.

Julie, you smell something?

Ew! P-U! What's that stink?

Gee, that's funny.
I don't smell nothing.

Melvin, clean up the toilet,
it stinks over here!

OK. I'll be right there!

Look what you did,
you f*cking assh*le!

Yeah, you f*cking assh*le!

- Hey, what are you, Ret*rded?
- Huh? Ret*rded?

I'm sorry!

Sorry, huh?

You want me to go and
get a f*cking disease!

Yeah, you want her to go
and get a f*cking disease?

I didn't mean it!

Aw, I didn't mean it.

Next time you f*ck with me, I'm gonna take
this mop and shove it down your throat.

He is stressing me, Julie!

He is stressing me!

Oh, Bozo...

I can't take it. I cannot take it Julie.
He is screwing up my karma!

See what you did, you idiot?
See what you did!?

You've stressed Bozo!

I'm sorry, Julie. I didn't mean to do it.
He was sitting there and I...

Ah! How dare you talk
to me, you twerp!

Keep it up, Bozo. Keep it up.

But remember,

there is only one muscle
you gotta worry about.

Hey, you know. I think you ought
to work a little bit on your gut.

You're getting a little
bit flabby there.

Where!? What are you talking about?

I don't got no fat! There's no
fat here. I don't got no f...

Fat! Fat!

Slug, are you sure
no one will come in?

I paid Tony bucks.

He said the place is ours
until tomorrow morning.

Relax. You want a drink?

- Yeah.
- Alright.

Slug, can I come again next
time you and Bozo go driving?

If you want to, bad enough.

I love it when we go real fast.

And they never know what hit 'em.

They never believe we're
going to run 'em down.

We keep getting closer and closer.

And faster and faster.

They're just standing
there and yeah.

We hit them!

I love the sound of breaking bones!

The car driving over them,
dragging their bodies.

All that beautiful blood!

Slug!

I want you, now.

Oh, Slug!

Oh, Slug!

Give it to me! Give it to me!
More! More!

Get out of here, you pervert!

Or I'll k*ll ya!

Julie. Julie, the points.
The rules, what are they?

Let me see if I can
remember the whole list.

Now, jews, whops,
n*gg*r*s and chinks,

they're all worth
twenty-five points.

But Puerto Ricans, they're
worth thirty points.

Now kids under twelve they're
worth double points.

Skippy, don't forget your helmet.

OK, sis.

And be careful out there.

Julie, does it count
if I graze them?

You got to destroy them!
Bozo, I want them dead.

Now we're gonna get 'em.

Come on. Come on! Come on!

Where the f*ck is everybody?
Where the f*ck is everybody?

How much is a kid on a bicycle?

Where?

Twenty-eight points if you get
both the kid and the bike?

Let's take a closer look.

Oh, he a cute little boy, isn't he?

Out pretty late, aren't you, honey?

The coast is clear, Bozo.

We got him!

We're gonna k*ll him!
We're gonna get him!

Now you get full points!

No way! The kid's still moving!

We're not finished yet!

He's still moving, no way
you get full points.

No way, huh? No way?
I'll f*cking show you no way.

Give me that! Gibe me that!

Full points, my man!

Look at him! Wow, oh my God!

These are gonna be the best
sh*ts we've ever taken.

Yeah, this is fun!

These are great!

Show me your pretty pictures!

That was good! That was good!

I want to do it again!
I want to do it again!

- Yeah, let's do it again!
- Yeah, let's go for it again!

No, no I can't.
I've got to go home.

What?

Well, I got to get up
early in the morning.

Got to go to church.

Oh!

And up! Up! Up! Up!

Now kick! Out! Out! Out!

Now arms up! Stop. Stop.

That's really pitiful.
Just stop. Just stop a second.

Look how many times do
I have to tell you people?

Do exactly what I do.

If I kick my right foot,
you kick your right foot.

If I kick my left foot,
you kick your left foot.

Okay? Whatever I do, you
do exactly the same thing.

Okay? Now how about we start again?
You're gonna do exactly what I'm doing.

Okay guys, you know
what I'm talking about?

Let's go, let's do it this time. Okay! Let's
get the music! , , , and hey, hey...

Watch what I'm doing here.
Watch how I hit this ball.

Are you watching me!?
Are you watching me!?

I'm going to k*ll it! I'm going
to k*ll it! I'm going to k*ll it!

Aah! I'm gonna kick
that freak's mouth in!

Bozo, it's okay. It's okay.
Hey, guys, come here.

Have I got a plan to fix
that mop boys wagon.

Great! What is it?

Well...

Hi, Melvin.

Whoa!

Melvin. Melvin, it's okay.
It's okay.

Hey, I just came to apologize. Yes,
I didn't mean to be so nasty yesterday.

Oh, that's okay, Julie.
I didn't really mind.

In fact, I was hoping
you could help me,

with a little problem.
I've been having.

- Who, me?
- Yes but...

I can't talk about here with
all these people around.

Hey, I got a great idea.

Why don't you meet me in
the girls locker room?

Girls' locker room?

Yes. Then we can discuss it alone.

Oh, oh!

Okay.

Great! Let's say o'clock.

Okay. That'll be good for me, too,
'cause I gotta to clean the toilets

in there around that time anyway.

Good. It's a date. See you then.

Okay.

... ... ...

... ... ...

Hi, guys. Well, Melvin fell
for it. Hook line and sinker.

Great!

We've been driving
for two whole hours.

Let's pull this rig
over and take a break.

Hey, the boss'll have our asses.

You know he don't want us
to stop in habitated areas

with this radioactive chemical
waste we got on the back.

It's dangerous. It's like that
cancerogenic stuff, you know.

Hey Joey, you remember that dope
we were snorting last week?

- Do I?
- Well, buddy boy. Check this out.

Holy sh*t! Why didn't you say so.

Let's pull it over!

Julie.

- Hi, Melvin.
- Hi, Julie.

Come in, don't be shy.

So, what was it that you
wanted me to help you with?

- Well, it's about Bozo.
- Bozo?

Yeah, you see, I'm so sick
of the way he goes around

pushing people around all the time.

He's so immature.

In fact, I don't like to
go out with him anymore.

But I don't know quite
how to tell him.

In fact, Melvin,
I think you're handsome,

and sensitive and kind.

Oh, Melvin, I find
you irresistible.

- Me?
- Yes.

Melvin, I want to do it with you.

Do it?

Do it!

Do what?

Do it, Melvin, do it!

Do it? Okay.

Wait a minute. Have I got
a great idea, Melvin.

What is it?

We'll go down by the pool.

And afterward we can
take a cool dip.

Alright.

There's one other
little thing, Melvin.

You're not wearing pink.

- Pink?
- It's my favorite color.

I have my pink on.

So, I brought this for you.

- But this is sissy stuff.
- Oh, no, Melvin. Pink makes me so hot.

- It does.
- Yes.

If you put on your pink,
I'll take off my pink.

- I love pink!
- Hurry up, I'll be waiting for you.

- And bring your mop.
- I will!

- Julie?
- Here I am, Melvin.

It's so dark in here, where
are you? I can't see you

I'm right here, Melvin. Come here.

My lips are waiting
for you, Melvin.

Whoa, put your arms around me.

Oh, Julie! Julie!
Oh, Julie! I'm here!

Okay! Turn on the light!

You're so soft, Julie.

Baaa.

Ooh!

Ooh, he doesn't look
very good to me.

He's faking it, Julie!
He's faking it.

I think he's in trouble.

Julie, this guy, if he can't
take a joke, he stinks.

Get back! Get back!
Step off! Get back!

Get out of here!

Easy, guy.

Melvin's on fire! Melvin's on fire!

Melvin, dear, are you alright?

Is anything the matter?

God, my arms! Ow! Ow!

Oh my feet!

Oh my God!

Are you okay?

Melvin, dear, are you alright?

My little Melvin! He must
have finally reached puberty.

One. Two.

Three. Four. Five.

When we lay this wad
on, old Clancy.

The boss is going to
have him by the balls.

I don't think old Clancy
will take the money.

Everyone says he's an honest cop.

If he don't take the dough,
I'm gonna give him a blow.

Ha ha!

A pair of knuckles.

Well, if it ain't, Cigar Face. What
are you and your friends up to?

We brought you a little
present from the boss.

Here.

No way. You're wasting your time.

No. That's where you're wrong.

You're wasting our time.

Now we're going to waste you!

Ow!

Now you're going to find out
why they call me Cigar Face.

Get him Nipples, yeah!

Come on, now. Come on!

What the matter, Clancy?

Get him!

Honest cops are all alike!
A bunch of f*ckin' fagots!

What do you say, shall I
blow his nose off or what?

Boss says if he doesn't
want to cooperate,

we should make love to him.

Well, whatever the boss says, goes.

No... No, no, please!
Please, oh God, please.

No, no. No, please. Come on.
I've got a family!

Say your prayers, copper!

Holy sh*t!

Could that be the, O'Shanahee
boy back from school.

No! No!

I'll get you for this,
you monster f*gg*t!

Don't worry. Don't
worry, I won't hurt you.

I don't know what came over me.

I just couldn't control myself.

I've never done anything
like this before.

Bye.

Quiet!

Quiet!

Now, you will raise your hand and you
will ask one question at a time.

Exactly where did it happen?

It happened in Shinbone Alley.

These three guys were
going to k*ll me, see.

And then of nowhere comes
this thing, this monster,

I never seen anything
like it before.

Because it took the three
guys and threw them away.

I don't know what it was but, but God
bless him, 'cause he saved my life.

Alright, boys.

Chief, what have you got?

That alleyway was the most
gruesome sight I have ever seen.

Gruesome, huh?

Have you ever met my mother-in-law?

Now, that's gruesome

What about Cigar Face?

Have we gotten anything
out of him yet?

He must still be in shock.
All he does is sit around

all day babbling about
some seven foot monster.

Yeah, and the only other clue
we've got are those mops,

stuffed in their mouths.

Mops... It must be some sort of political
statement. Do we have any suspects?

Nah, the whole town is suspect. Knuckles
and Nipples were hated by everyone.

Not by me. They were our
two best producers.

Speaking of which, I almost forgot.

The boys made their rounds last
night and here is the collection.

Yeah, and it would've been
double if it wasn't for this

devastating tragic turn of events.

Yeah.

Slug, will you stop with
that Elephant Man bullshit.

I am not an animal.
I'm Melvin, the mop boy.

- Who is it?
- It's me, Ma. Melvin.

Ma? Ah, Ma!

Tom. Tom, is he dead?

Hey, Tom.

Yeah, over here. Tom, the
zoning board has designated

the old Rawlins Chemical Plant as
the new toxic waste dump site.

Now that's contaminated, but
valuable waterfront property.

We think it's a crime to let that
property go to waste as a dump.

You are aware, of course, that that
would place our new toxic chemical dump

just feet from the reservoir
for the entire area.

Gentlemen, I think we have a deal.

Here to better living
through chemistry.

Mr. Fred! Mr. Fred, what's
wrong with this thing!?

Alright, everybody!

Drop your tacos or I'll
blow your brains out!

Rico, get the cash register!

Okay, you got it!

Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

We are the entertainment
for this afternoon.

Now on shotgun, we've
got my man Leroy.

On cash register we've
got magic fingers, Rico!

That's me.

And last but not least,
yours truly Frank.

On the stick.

Shut up!

Now if you all do just
what we tell you,

you just might, just might get
your asses home all intact.

Look who we got here!
A little mother, and a littler baby.

Do you like Mexican
food, little baby?

Well, How'd you like to
have this hot tamale

shoved down your throat?

What are you looking at?

Hey, Frank, teeny boppers!

You like video games,
teeny boppers?

Your mom give you
quarters for video games?

Well, cough them up!

Hey, this one's cute, Frank.

Look how cute she is, Frank.

Say, Leroy, I think she likes you.

Hey, why don't you leave her alone?

We'll give you our money,
if you want money.

Hey, look, pal, why don't
you just let everyone go

and keep me as a hostage, huh?

Huh?

That's an idea, ainft it, Frank?

- Yeah.
- No, thanks.

Shut up! It was self defense.

Yo, Leroy, check out this
pretty little thing,

and the bitch got a dog.

Hey, wait a minute.
I think this bitch is blind.

Are you sure she is blind, Frank?

Yeah, the bitch is blind.

Ow!

Hey, what are you doing?
Don't do that!

Let go of me!

Yo, Leroy, you want to
walk this damn dog!

Yeah, sure, Frank.

Gary?

Harry! What have you
done to my dog?

I didn't do anything to
the dog, but listen...

Gary! Gary!

You wanna meet my friend, Ben?

We's make everything alright.
Just let me introduce you to Ben.

Ben who!?

Ben Dover!

Hey, Leroy, you know I always did
want to cornhole me a blind bitch.

Ow!

I'm going to enjoy this!

Yeah, it's going to be nice.

What the sh*t!?

Okay, you m*therf*cker!

No, no, no! We were only kidding!

What's the matter?
You can't take a joke?

We were only kidding.

Please, no!
You can't do this to me!

No! Please! Please, stop it!

Stop, no! No!

No! We were, we were only kidding!

Please, please don't touch me!

Please!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's alright.
I'm not going to hurt you.

Are you okay?

Yes, I think so. My dog!

Those men k*lled my dog!
They sh*t my dog!

Could you take me out
of here, please?

Please. I'll never make it
by myself without my dog.

Please.

Okay, alright, but come on,
let's go out the back way.

Hey, don't worry, I won't hurt you.
Come on, I'll help you up.

- Don't trip over the step, Melvin.
- What?

I'd better get my cane.

Why don't you have a seat?

There's a place for
you on your left.

Right over there.

Ow!

Would like you like
something to eat?

Uh-huh.

Is peanut butter and jelly, okay?

Uh-huh.

Good.

Now, boys, what have we got here?

Looks like we got a nice crispy
taco supreme over here, chief.

Looks like I got a a strawberry
thickshake over here.

What have you got?

I've got a pizza with
the works to go, Jimmy.

Chief, it was unbelievable.
It had an eye up over here,

His nose was twisted to the side.

Huh?

It was the strangest thing
I ever saw in my life.

Sure. But it was a
pink elephant, too.

I'm telling ya, these guys
were going to k*ll us.

It saved our lives. It was a hero.

A hero!

This guy is drunk.

Would you mind if I
touched your face?

No!

No? Why not?
I won't hurt you, Melvin.

It's not that. It's just that
I have a rash on my face.

A rash? You mean acne?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it.
It's nothing to worry about

but I wouldn't want
you to touch it.

You shouldn't be ashamed of acne.

Everybody's had acne at
one time or another.

Hey, I know. Would you like
me to tell your fortune?

Huh?

I read palms. Give me your hand.

What big hands you have.

I bet you're very strong.

Hmm. Let me see.
You're going to have

a lot of good things coming
too you in the future.

You're going to become
a very important man.

Let me see your other hand.

Oops! Sorry.

Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

With us this afternoon is,
Dr. Mertyn Snodberger

from the Garden State State
Cerebral Reflex Research Center.

Ah, can you tell me, sir,

is it true that the monster
only att*cks bad people?

Ja. Ja. Since only bad, evil
people have been destroyed

by the monster, I would have
to answer your question. Ja.

From traces that have
been found on the scenes

of the crime, and analyzed,
we have determined

that whatever it is, this
monster has been exposed

to toxic chemical waste.

Achoo!

It is also highly probable
that this monster may

have developed a very basic
instinct which draws him,

or should I say, commands
him to destroy evil.

That new camera really
captures the moment!

I know. The reds are so red!
Really get me hot!

Mr. Mayor?

Yeah?

I got todayfs receipts from
the drug division. Ha ha!

Good boy, Dennis. Put it
over there on the table.

Bookie will get to it later.

Listen, you assh*le, how
many times are you going to

pull that Elephant Man joke?

Let this be a lesson
to you, hot ass!

This monster may have developed
a very basic instinct,

to destroy evil.

Hey, you! In the alley!

Hey, knucklehead! How about
some nice young poontang, huh?

No! No, take me home!
No, take me home!

No, you lied to me!

You said you were going to take me
to see the David Bowie concert!

He's not David Bowie!

Only twelve years old,
and only twelve dollars!

Boys! Boys! Help!

Help, boys! Help!

And you can tell all your
scum friends that things

are going to change in this town!

I'm not just another pretty face!

Two prime candidates.

Yeah.

Rack 'em up!

- Wow!
- Wow!

I hear the monster is so big.

Well, I bet he's got his eye on me.

For your information, everyone
knows Monster Prefer Blondes!

There's a feeling going
around town that this monster

is here to protect the people.

And the jail's are
becoming overcrowded.

This monster has cleaned the
streets of every criminal.

Almost all the criminals.
He hasn't gotten us yet.

What the hell are we going to
do about this monster, eh?

I'll tell you what we're going
to do. We're going to k*ll him.

Because if we don't k*ll
him, he's going to k*ll us.

I owe you for the other
night, monster fagot!

So now we're going to give
you six new assholes,

compliments of me, Cigar Face!

Boom! You should've seen it!
His teeth was everywhere!

They looked like Chiclets!

Hey, what are you doing, blondie?

I'm waiting for my boyfriend.

She's waiting for her boyfriend.

Well, maybe I'm going to
be your boyfriend, baby!

Hey, stop that! My
boyfriend won't like that!

Maybe we'll have to take care of
that wimp of a boyfriend, huh?

Melvin! Melvin!

Melvin!


Melvin!?

Melvin!

Yeah, Melvin. What's up, guys?

Why, Melvin, you're beautiful.
You're a beautiful person.

You're so muscular. It's been
two years since I've touched a man.

What are you doing to me?
I've never felt like this before.

m*rder*r!

I'm gonna teach you a
lesson you'll never forget!

No!

Sorry, madam.

Open up please, open up!

Help me! Oh, please
open up! Help me!

Going up?

Let me out Let me out!
Please, someone help me!

Aah! She's stressing me, Slug!
Julie is stressing me, Slug!

I can't take it!
I cannot take this, Slug!

She's not here with car
and I've got to drive.

I gotta drive, Slug!
I gotta drive!

Alright, already. Alright.
Will you chill out?

Hey, how would you like
to be behind the wheel

of a beautiful Japanese import?

Oh, that would be good!

Hi, can we help?

Oh, you sure can.

Thank you so much.
Oh, it's so nice to have you

boys like you here
in the neighborhood.

Oh, what a feeling, today!

Did you see her face
when I punched her?

I b*at that old lady like a dog!

Slug, there's that thing again!

Let's get it!

sh*t! He's on the roof!
He's on the roof!

Get him off! He's going
to k*ll both of us!

Swerve the car, Bozo!
Swerve the car!

I can't control the car!

He's still there, swerve it again!
Swerve it again!

I can't get him off the car, Slug!
I can't get him off!

Slug, I'm going to die!

Take the wheel, Slug!
Take the wheel!

I'm stressed!

Ah, what?

What?

Get out of here!

No!

See how you like this
face, huh, Bozo?

You know who this is?
It's Melvin, that's who it is!

Hey, hey, hey, what about
the kid on the bike, Bozo?

How does it feel to hit a
kid on a bike? Feels good!

I've got problems! I've got
problems! I'm a stressed person!

No, no!

Give me the wheel!

Just give me the wheel!
You'll going to k*ll both of us!

You want the wheel?
Here, take the wheel!

Yoohoo! Mr. Wilson!

Mrs Haskel, how are you?

Fine, thank you.

How are the boys?

Those boys are such terrors.
Especially Scott.

He took his best girl out
last night and he came home

with these stains,
all over his pants.

I don't know what they are.

I don't either.

Do you think you can get them out?

My car! They're putting
a ticket on my car!

Mrs. Haskel, don't move. Don't
move. Stay right where you are.

I'll be right back.

You can't give me a ticket! You can't give
me a ticket! I have to go to a funeral...

Hey, who do you think
you're pushing?

What do you want?

Stay away from me!
Stay away from me!

Help! Help! Help! Help!

Stay away from me!
Stay away from me! Help!

Help! Help!

What the...?

Put me down! I didn't do anything!

No Dickie here. No washie.

Please, don't give me a ticket!
Please, don't give me a ticket!

Okay, Mrs. Haskel, let's see what
we can do with these stains.

Mrs. Haskel. Mrs. Haskel, what
are you doing back there?

You know customers are not
allowed on that machine.

Mrs. Haskel.

Melvin, is that you?

Melvin?

Who's there?

Who is that?

It's me, Sarah. Only me.

You scared me. Is something wrong?

Everything is wrong.

What the matter? What have I done?

No, it's not what you've done.
It's what I've done.

I think I'm out of control.

You see, you're blind, Sara.
You don't know who I am.

I'm really the monster
hero you heard about.

And everyday I go out
and I mash people.

I tear them apart and I can't stop.

You better move back
to your apartment.

I don't think its safe
for you to be around me.

Oh, Melvin. I couldn't leave
you now. I love you, Melvin.

I wish we could go somewhere.

Yeah, some far away place.
Where there are no people.

Where I can't k*ll anybody.

What about that spot near Millers
farm that you told me about?

Where you used to go to be alone.

You said that was a
very special place.

Well, we could try it.

Do you think I look
inconspicuous enough?

I'll feel better when
we get to the campsite.

Mayor, Mayor!

Chief, look. Our monster made
a little bit of a mistake.

You can't go around dry
cleaning little old ladies

the public won't stand for it.

We can k*ll him now with
no flack from anybody.

Nein, nein. Bad news, Mayor,

That old lady was hardly a
pillar of the community.

In fact, she can a head of an
international white sl*very ring.

sh*t...

And she had a police
record a mile long.

We've got to cover this up.

If it ever gets out to
the press we're sunk.

And I want you to do me a favor.
k*ll that bastard for me! You got it?

k*ll him!

Yes, mein fuhrer. Mein mayor!

Ladies and gentlemen, may I
have your attention please.

Mayor Peter Bellgoode
will now take questions

from the ladies and
gentlemen of the press.

Uh, Miss Fink.

What your administration stance in
regards to this alleged monster?

Is he a menace or a miracle?

He's definitely a menace, Miss Fink.
Right now there's a massive

search underway to find
the thing and destroy it.

Yes, Mr. Leonard?

Instead of trying to k*ll
him, shouldn't we be trying

to capture him, bring
him in, study him?

It is not a human being.
It is an it. You k*ll an it.

Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor.

Yes, Mr. Williams?

The victim k*lled in the dry
cleaners, Mrs, ah, Haskel.

What's her background?
What do we know about her?

Mrs. Haskel was a member of our
community for over years.

Also a member of the PTA.
She had two fine sons.

Everyone that know her, loved her.

Question! Question!
Are you certain, Mr. Mayor,

that the chief Himmel and
the police department

can handle the situation
in Tromaville?

I have the utmost regard for
the chief, and his department.

As I've said, he's
conducting a massive search

for the monster right now.

I want this thing found and
I want this thing k*lled!

The mayor has notified the
governor and he's prepared

to give us all the
assistance we need.

Should we break out
the heavy weapons?

Come on, boys.

I'd be dead right now if
it wasn't for the monster!

Don't you think you're
being a bit hasty?

Clancy, you will do as you're
told or you'll find yourself

walking a b*at in the city dump!

Now I want this thing sh*t and
I want you to sh**t to k*ll!

That monster saved my life.
He's done a lot of good for this town.

Why are they going to k*ll him?

We should speak out! Do something!

Roy, why don't you do
something! Speak out!

You want me to speak up?
If I speak up,

I lose my business license.
If I lose my business license,

I'm dead. Do you
want another shake?

No! I want them not
to k*ll the monster.

I want us to do something!

Listen, Johnny, you're just a kid.

People can't go around doing
things just because they're right.

We have to leave these
decisions up to the mayor

- and the police chief.
- That's right.

But why would the mayor
want to destroy something

that does more good than
the entire police force?

No offense.

I know how you feel, Johnny,
he saved my life too.

But us, little guys, are just not
qualified to make these decisions.

That's why he's the mayor.

Right?

We're gonna find that bastard, now.
Come on. Come on, girl!

Heel. Come on.

My first day on the force
and I'm chasing monsters!

The dogs got a scent!

I'm missing the ball
game for this bullshit!

We ain't going to find
no monster out here,

all we're going to find is a bunch of
mosquitoes biting my f*ckin' assh*le!

Shut your f*ckin' mouth!

Hold on a second,
I think I see something.

You don't see nothing but a couple

of campers humping each other.
Come on, let's go home!

Holy sh*t! It's the monster!

Oh, sure!

And he's got a bimbo with him!

Oh, he's got your Mama with him!

And she's wearing a bikini! Wow!

Wait, let me see!

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

Come on, let's go tell the chief!
I'm going to get me a medal for this!

Mayor! Mayor! Mayor!

The monster has been sighted
in a field near Miller farm.

That's wonderful!

I'll have the National Guard
meet us out there in full force.

You leave now!

Ja!

Hello, Mr. Governor,
how are you, sir?

Fine, just fine.

Governor, I need your help, sir.

It's about this monster that's
been terrorizing my town.

The local authorities can no
longer handle the situation.

That's why I need your help.

The National Guard?

I was hoping you'd say
that, so we can k*ll it.

Capture it? Well, I was
thinking the very same thing.

Yes, capture would be fine.
Uh-huh. Well, thank you, Governor.

Talk to you soon. Goodbye, sir.

Capture, my ass!

I don't like the way
this is going sargent.

I know.

The little people think he's
done a lot for this town.

Oh, my God! They're calling
in the National Guard!

Oh, look at all those men!

Oh, I hope they don't
hurt the monster.

Monster, they aught to give
him a medal, not k*ll him.

They're going to nuke him!
They're going to nuke the monster!

- They found the monster!
- He's at the Miller Farm!

They're going to k*ll him!

Holy cow! We can't let him die!

Let's go!

Out of the way!

Stand aside.

Tent's in the clearing, Mayor.
My troops have it surrounded.

We think he's still asleep.

Fine, we'll move in
and wipe him out.

You can't do that, Mayor.
I've rechecked with headquarters

They want us to take him
alive, not k*ll him.

Your in charge, Pete.
Come on, give the orders!

Mr. mayor, please, please,
think of what you are doing!

There's an innocent
girl in there with him!

Just one life for the whole town!

But, Mr Mayor, you
don't understand!

He saved my life!
He doesn't deserve to die!

Shut up!

Now you don't understand the seriousness
of this situation here, boy!

How dare you discuss my son's
life or death like this.

I'm Melvin's mother.
He's a good boy.

He's never hurt anybody!

Silence! Silence!
The orders have been given!

It is our destiny to
follow the orders!

You in the tent, come
out with your hands up!

You are surrounded!

The minute he comes out, k*ll him.

- I'm coming with you.
- No, you're not.

You've got to stay here.

No, I can't let you do it! He's a hero.
I can't let you do it! I can't let you do it!

Don't sh**t him! Don't sh**t!

If you want to sh**t my son,
you'll have to sh**t me first!

Okay, lads. Get these
kids out of there!

It's okay, Mom. Kids.

sh**t it!

Run! Run!

Fire!

No, I won't do it.

These kids are right.

Captain, have your men fire!

No, I can't.

sh**t them! You sh**t!

Fire!

Melvin!

Alright, I'll do it myself!

No!

You touch me again
and I'll k*ll you!

Get away from me!

Get away from me!

No! Ah, get away from me!

Leave me alone!
Look, I'll make you a deal!

I'll give you %, anything,
just leave alone!

Don't hurt me!
I'm too young to die!

Please don't hurt me!

Please!

You fat slob, let's see
if you have any guts!

Officer O'Clancy, take
care of this toxic waste.

Melvin!

Sarah!

Melvin!

Sara!

Melvin! Ah!

Sarah!

Melvin!

Sarah!

Melvin?

Sarah!

So, Melvin, the monster hero, rid
Tromaville of all of it's evils,

so the good citizens could live
their lives in peace and happiness.

And the next time you're in
danger or in need to help,

look to the horizon and
maybe, just maybe...

The Toxic Avenger will be there.
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