01x17 - Jobs and Hangouts

Episode transcripts for the 2021 TV show "The Wonder Years". Aired: September 22,2021 - present.*
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Coming-of-age story of a 12-year-old Black boy in Montgomery, Ala., in the late 1960s.
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01x17 - Jobs and Hangouts

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ADULT DEAN: Growing up,
you always had that one house

where you and your buddies
would meet after school

or on the weekends and just hang.

That house usually belonged
to a friend whose parents

were okay with letting
their house be the "hangout"...

Or in our case, it belonged
to Norman's divorced dad,

who just wanted Norman
to like him more than his mom.

♪ Yeah, yeah, sh**t your sh*t ♪

How many grenades
do we have left, Norman?

Plenty. [Grunts]

♪ I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- Oh, dang!
- [Lamp clatters]

♪ Yeah, yeah, shake what you... ♪

Oh.

Guys, my dad should be here any minute.

♪♪

Ah. [Sighs]

Get the pillows.

[Speaking indistinctly]

Is it good?

Good enough for my dad.

ADULT DEAN: And then, we'd do
it all over again the next day.

[Door opens]

Hey, Mom, Dad. I'm going to Norman's.

Not until you sweep up this kitchen.

I believe there's more cereal
on the floor

than made it into your bowl
this morning.

- But I...
- You heard your mother.

[Glass container clinks lightly]

LILLIAN: Oh, there's our
little working girl.

Finished your first week
of having a real job.

- How's it feel?
- [Chuckles] Like payday.

- [Laughs]
- You mean it feels good

to have responsibility

and be rewarded for your hard work.

Yes, I have been growing as a person.

And I'm gonna buy a new dress
for Cathy's party.

You have plenty of party dresses.

We agreed to let you take this job

only if it didn't interfere with school

and you were responsible
with the money you earned.

Spending your first paycheck on a dress

doesn't sound like a good idea.

Well, is it a special party?

- Nope.
- Yes.

[Chuckles] Kwame's gonna be there.

I thought you broke up with Kwame.

- Albert.
- I did.

If you broke up, why are you on
the phone with him all the time?

Dean, it is not polite to eavesdrop.

And what else you hear?

You two are more back and forth
than a trolley car,

and no new dress is gonna fix that.

But... [Scoffs]

[Sighs] That's cool.

Probably won't have enough money
for a new dress anyway.

I barely make any tips at work.

You do realize that tips are
based on good service, right?

Yes, Daddy.

I was hired to make
their new black customers

feel comfortable,
but there aren't enough of them,

so I've been inviting
my friends to come by

so they can tell people
that it's cool to eat there.

If you need more customers,
we're available.

- Want to go tonight, Lil?
- Sounds like a good idea.

Stew's better on the second day, anyway.

[Chuckles]

Hope your plan works
and you get more tips.

You know, a lot of money
gets taken out of that paycheck.

[Laughs] I know about taxes, Daddy.

I'm talking about what I take out.

Everybody in this house
with a job chips in for bills.

- [Chuckles]
- [Scoffs]

Only you could find a way to charge me

- for earning my own money.
- [Laughter]

I'll see y'all later.

LILLIAN: Yeah, and we will
get ready to leave

as soon as Dean cleans up

those last three Cheerios
up under the hutch.

ADULT DEAN: Not only did my mom

have eyes in the back of her head,

apparently she had X-ray vision, too.

But I was going to Norman's.

We're going to Kim's diner...

After you take a bath.
You smell like the outside.

But all the guys are counting on me.

I'm supposed to bring them
the cherry b*mb and the rope.

The what?

Yeah. Never mind.

[Chuckles] Well, that last
Cheerio was picked up,

and, uh, I'm gonna go
get in the bathtub.

[Chuckles]

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ And I know ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Through the highs and the lows ♪

♪♪

Dad, your pork chop with the
gravy on the side, no potatoes.

Mom, your country fried steak,

light on the batter with no pepper.

And here's Dean's burger,

well done with pickles, but no onions.

Here is a refill of your sweet tea,

'cause I noticed you were
getting a little low,

an extra napkin for you,

and extra ketchup for Dean.

Very nice. Thank you.

Look at our baby girl.

So professional.

I told you I could handle
grown-up things

like having a job.

You forgot the sugar for my ketchup.

I said no seeds on my bun.

This lettuce is brown.

I think I see onion juice on the bread,

- and it's... it's cold in here.
- Dad, tell Dean

- to stop being a little butt.
- Mnh-mnh.

You can't come crying
to Mom and Dad on the job.

Handle him yourself.

But remember,
the customer's always right.

[Chuckles] Sir, let me take that burger

back to the kitchen
to make it right for you.

Did you want regular spit on that,

or extra juicy?

On second thought,
it's fine the way it is.

- Mm-hmm.
- [Chuckles nervously]

There's a lot of us in here.

I think your plan just might be working.

It is, and I got lots more ideas

that'll help things
run better around here.

ADULT DEAN: My mom and dad
were used to this from Kim.

They always said,
"When Kim goes to heaven,

she's gonna tell Peter
how he can run things better."

To which I always replied,
"If Kim goes to heaven. If."

Table just sat down.

Aww, my girlfriends showed up for me.

Oh, this is gonna be so fun. [Laughs]

We're supposed to be waiting tables,

not hosting a dinner party in here.

I'll be sure to provide
excellent service

so they come back.

And take even more tip money
out of my pocket.

Great.

I'd watch your back with that one.

Wendy? She's fine.

Her feet probably hurt.

Mine would, too, if I wore those
ugly clodhoppers all day.

- [Chuckles]
- ADULT DEAN: As my mom and dad

proudly watched Kim
take on this new level

of responsibility with confidence,

the significance of the moment
wasn't lost on me.

So...

now that Kim has a paycheck,

can I get her allowance?

♪♪

♪ It was easy... ♪

% of $ . ?

Let's just give her %.
That math's easier.

- % is $ . when you round up.
- Thanks.

None of us could figure
that tip out in our heads.

Wait, that's for Kim? S-She's my sister.

- I should have told you less.
- [Laughter]

Well, isn't he just the cutest?

He reminds me of my little brother,

- but Calvin's not that smart.
- He's not.

We should buy him a milkshake.

ADULT DEAN: Now, girls my age
may not have given me

the time of day,
but I was about to discover

that the girls too old for me to date...

Oh, man, I was irresistible.

Dean, scram. Go back to Mom and Dad.

Don't worry about it, girl.
I mean, he can stay with us.

- Come on, it's fine.
- Thank you.

- [Scoffs lightly]
- Uh, hey, waitress?

Refills for me and my friends, please.

Make it snappy, sweetheart.

Ooh, careful.

Come on, Dean, time to go.

The ladies and I just ordered drinks,

so I'mma stay here for a while
and ride home with Kim.

Oh, is that what you think you're doing?

[Chuckles] Let the boy stay, Lil.

He might learn some responsibility

by observing Kim
in her work environment.

She got that strong
work ethic like her mama.

[Laughs] Well, okay, then, Dean.

Just don't bother your sister
while she's busy.

We'll see you at home.

You be cool.

[Sighs]

So, Dean...

tell us all about yourself.

♪♪

Yeah, your book report
is very good, Dean.

You really explained the themes

of Call of the Wild very well,

but you had several misspelled words.

Now, honey, if you can't spell
something, you gotta look it up.

How would I know
if I spelled a word wrong

if nobody tells me?

One day, I'm gonna create something

that automatically checks
your spelling for you.

Oh, baby.

Lazy has already been invented. [Laughs]

ADULT DEAN: And that's why
I don't have a yacht today.

[Doorbell rings]

I got it!

♪♪

Hey, Mrs. Williams.

Kwame.

Uh, Kim, you, uh, ready to go?

- Yeah, let's go.
- All right, let's go.

- Albert.
- [Sighs]

- Uh, I prefer Kwame, sir.
- I bet you do.

But that's not what your mama named you.

Uh, well, we were
on our way out, so, uh...

I parked behind you in the driveway,

so we might as well sit a spell
and catch up.

Oh.

How's that revolution coming?

- Y'all on schedule?
- Ugh. [Sighs]

So, uh...

Uh, does this mean that you...

Kwame is just giving me a ride
to the party... as friends.

"Friends"? Uh-huh.

I used that one a time or two
myself back in the day.

But experience tells me
there's no such thing

as boys and girls being just friends.

ADULT DEAN:
What was my dad talking about?

I have friends who are girls,
like Keisa.

Oh, right.

Maybe that was true
back in the ' s or whenever,

but men and women are equals,
and we can define

our own relationships.

Is that what you two think you're doing?

Yes. Friendship is what I want.

- You're driving this?
- Yes.

And my friend and I are about
to be late to Cathy's party.

So you're just gonna let her
do all the talking for you?

- I'm... I'm sorry...
- So you're just gonna interrupt

- her when she was talking?
- Oh, I'm... I...

So you're just gonna let me
contradict myself like that?

- I don't...
- We are picking up

some other people on the way,
so we really should go.

Kim, you know what time to be home.

Yes, Dad.

[Mutters]

[Stammers] Just get...

♪♪

- Listen, you be careful, girl.
- [Door opens]

- Okay.
- ADULT DEAN: Watching my father

- glare at Kwame...
- [Door Closes]

ADULT DEAN: ... I thought girl
dads were the meanest people

in the world... Until I became one.

Now I know that meanness
is totally justified.

You hung out with high school girls?

And they paid for your food?

- We mostly just talked.
- About what?

Just stuff... Like what they
watch on the boob tube...

That's what they call TV.

- Oh.
- Cool.

Yeah, and how they never have
enough scratch... That's money.

And where they like to go
for submarine races.

- [Gasps]
- It means making out in a car.

- [All sigh]
- I know, I know.

I thought there were gonna be
real submarines involved, too.

I think it is so good
that you wanted to come here

and support your sister.

And you were right about the milkshakes.

Delicious. [Chuckles]

[Glasses clink]

ADULT DEAN: Asking my mom
to take me to the diner

was a brilliant move.

It made me look like a good brother,

all while putting me in position

to run into Kim's girlfriends again.

Kim being heavy-handed
on the whipped cream tap

was just a happy accident.

Uh, Mr. Young?

Did Wendy mention my menu idea to you?

No, what was it?

ADULT DEAN: Ooh, I'd seen
that stink eye before,

but usually, it was Kim giving it to me.

I was thinking we should
take our less popular items

off our regular menus and tell customers

they're our specials of the day.

That might make them inclined
to try something different.

That's fine by me...
As long as it's okay with Wendy.

I told you, I let her handle the menu.

Sounds like a yes to me.

What it sounds like is someone with

a lot of smart-ass ideas
thinking she knows more

than the people who worked here
for the last ten years.

ADULT DEAN: Wow,

that was the first time
I'd ever seen someone

who wasn't Mama or Daddy
check my know-it-all sister

- about her attitude.
- What's the problem?

- I was only trying to help.
- Why don't you learn

how things work around here first, hon?

Did you ever think that,
in addition to wanting new customers,

Mr. Young wanted a waitress with a
fresh perspective and a better attitude?

Well, he got one with a smart mouth

who needs to learn her place.

[Scoffs]

Can you believe Wendy?

Going off on me for no reason at all.

- I did not appreciate her tone.
- Right?

But she definitely had a good reason.

Wait... so you're taking her side?

Baby, I'm always on your side,
but that doesn't mean you're right.

Well, then, she's more wrong.

You have been working here
for less than a month.

Workplaces have hierarchy
and politics that you need to learn

before you start going around
trying to change things.

It'd be like me going
to one of your parties

and trying to show all your friends
how to do the Watusi.

Now, how would you like that?

Ugh, I get it. [Laughs]

Now go get me some French fries
to go with this milkshake.

But don't let that Wendy
anywhere near my food.

Mm.

ADULT DEAN:
I took Mama's example to heart.

No matter our internal conflicts,

we were a family and always had
each other's backs.

This Wendy lady had a problem with Kim,

- and that meant we had to...
- [Door opens, bell jingles]

ADULT DEAN: Oh, hey, here comes Pam!

Hey, Pam!

♪♪

[Door Closes]

ADULT DEAN:
Kim's friends were super cool.

All they really did was gossip
about people I didn't know,

talk about music I didn't listen to,

and reference magazines I hadn't read.

But still, I'd never felt
so included in my life.

I think my birthday was
the best party of the year.

I couldn't believe
all the boys we invited

- actually showed up.
- I know.

Did you see when Irving
and Kwame were trying

to sing like the Temptations?

- So funny.
- Kim must have loved that.

Really? Why?

- Well, because, uh...
- [Door opens, bell jingles]

Uh, give me one second, guys.

♪♪

What are you guys doing here?

You were bragging about
how fun this place was,

so we decided to join you.

Yep, and Norman's dad's apartment

does not have
gorgeous high school girls.

But they're my friends, and they're...
They're way more mature than you guys.

- So?
- Not everyone loves jokes

- about passing gas, Norman.
- Really?

Dean, your food's getting cold.

♪♪

This is Norman, Cory, and Hampton,

but [Chuckles] t-they're not staying.

♪♪

So, Dean, do you know Kwame?

No, not really.

I mainly just say hi to him
for when he calls for Kim.

I would hope they give you
enough time to talk to your girlfriend.

[Chuckles] I don't really
have a girlfriend right now.

Mm, I can't believe that, Dean.

ADULT DEAN: Now, I should have
been suspicious

about this whole line of questioning,

but I wanted to show the guys

how "in" I was with the high schoolers.

Anyways, he doesn't call as much
since they broke up.

And... And when was that?

I don't know exactly.


He took her for a walk
by the train tracks and...

Sound familiar?

She told my mom and dad
that they were just friends.

I heard her.

You know what, Dean?

I think it's crazy
that you don't have a girlfriend.

I mean, who wouldn't want to be with

an honest young man like you?

You know, I bet you don't even eavesdrop

on Kim and Kwame's phone calls, do you?

I need to use the restroom.

- Then go.
- You have to let me out.

- [Mutters]
- Just...

I think we all have to go.

NORMAN: Yeah, come on.

♪♪

Let go...

What gives?!

She's pumping you for information, man.

Why would she do that?

- It's so obvious.
- Obvious.

Pam's in love with you!

No.

W... Really?

N-No, that's impossible.

She asked you if you had a girlfriend

and said, "Any woman would be
lucky to have you."

And she stares deep into your eyes

when you talk, like this.

That's love!

N-No, but she asked about Kim and Kwame.

To keep you off guard.

Girls are tricky.

Whew, this is better than
the stories I watch with Granny.

- So, what should I do?
- Look, you let her

take the lead, all right?

My dad said older women
know just what they want

and exactly how to get it.

ADULT DEAN: I was glad
I had friends who had my back,

even if they had no clue
what was actually going on.

[Indistinct conversation, laughter]

ADULT DEAN: I still wasn't sure
the guys were right

about Pam having a crush on me,
so just in case, the next day,

I sprayed extra Afro Sheen on my hair

and chewed half a roll of breath mints.

Are you ready to order?

And no asking for lemons and water

to make your own lemonade.

Well, our parents actually
gave us money today.

Oh, okay then. What'll you have?

Table needs more jelly.

- Okay, I'll...
- Now.

I'm sure these gentlemen will wait.

ADULT DEAN: I still hadn't figured out

what Wendy's issue was with my sister.

Kim was great at her job, but I figured

it had something to do with Kim being

from the original mother race

and Wendy being jealous
because her loins

weren't the birthplace of civilization.

I mean, that's what I got from
those Black Panther pamphlets

- in Kim's room, anyway.
- [Door opens, bell jingles]

DEAN: Ooh, Cathy, Mildred!

Here, Hampton, slide over
and give them some room.

- Oh, hey, Dean.
- [Door closes]

You know my boyfriend.

Wait. Kwame is your boyfriend?

Yeah.

We're back together now.

♪♪

Kim, two Cokes for me and Kwame.

Really? Uh.

I thought that we...

I-I mean, you said...

ADULT DEAN: As I saw what was
unfolding before me,

I began to realize that I'd been part

of a nefarious plot all along.

As much as I didn't
like my sister sometimes,

it never occurred to me that her friends

may not have been real friends.

Kim, uh, I-I didn't know
you'd be working today.

Didn't know or didn't care?

Look, ca... can't we talk about this?

- Oh!
- [Gasps]

[Dishes clattering]

♪♪

I don't need your help.

Mnh-mnh, let her weird little brother

help clean up her mess.

♪♪

ADULT DEAN:
After an hour of mean-mugging

and sh**ting the occasional
spitball at Pam and Kwame,

my friends had to get home.

Sorry about all this, man.

Yeah, that Pam is a real Jezebel.

Actually, she makes Jezebel
look like Ruth.

It's not just a book, guys!

[Scoffs]

See you tomorrow, bro.

- DEAN: See ya, guys.
- [Door opens, bell jingles]

♪♪

[Door closes, bell jingles]

♪♪

Before you say anything,

I know my behavior was unprofessional.

Honey, it was more than unprofessional.

It was a train wreck.

But it wasn't your fault.

Here, let me show you something.

His name is Chad.

Boy, did he have my nose wide open.

You might say he was my Kwame.

That...

was taken about a month
after he left me.

And that...

is Chad Junior.

- Is he your only child?
- Mine.

But not his dad's.

I've heard Chad Sr. Has three daughters

by two other women.

Wow.

That's heavy.

That's why now I can see

a no-good guy coming a mile away.

You need to let Kwame go.

- [Scoffs] I know.
- No, you don't.

You might have let him go up here,

but you need to let him go in here.

Because if it gets any lower,
you're in real trouble.

[Laughs] I get it.

But w-why are...

Maybe the two of us
didn't start off so good,

but I felt I should tell you

what I wish someone would've
told me ten years ago.

Thanks.

I know I need to move on.

There's no way I can go through

another scene
like the one this afternoon.

Mnh-mnh. He's just lucky
neither one of us had a p*stol.

[Laughs] That's right.

ADULT DEAN: Comparing what
I'd seen between Kim and Pam

to what I was seeing now,
I learned that true friendship

can come from the most
unexpected places.

This was the first time
it ever occurred to me

that there might be a period in my life

even more emotionally
challenging than junior high.

I have to tell you something.

I kind of am the one that told Pam

that you and Kwame were broken up.

[Sighs] Thanks. Thanks a lot.

ADULT DEAN: I really hoped
Kim was going to add

a "But it wasn't your fault."

She didn't.

I just don't understand why
you can't be done with Kwame.

I swear, you guys have broken up
like a thousand times.

Girls like guys like Kwame.

Even girls who know better,
like me... and Wendy.

Does that mean that
there are girls like Kwame

that guys like?

- Even though we know better?
- Uh, yeah.

And Pam is one of them.

And based on the way she played you,

you better start praying now.

ADULT DEAN: Damn. The future.

Look. Sometimes, relationships
don't make any sense.

That's why you have to make sure

you have good friends around you...

who will tell you the truth,

see things you don't see.

Obviously, I'm still looking
for good friends like that.

But... But you've always had
a ton of friends.

Mm...

I've always been popular.

That's not the same
as having good friends.

Like you?

You have real friends.

I'm a little jealous of that.

ADULT DEAN: That was the
only time my sister ever said

she was jealous of anything I had.

What the hell?

- Those guys. [Chuckles]
- [Laughs]

ADULT DEAN: And she was right
to be jealous this time.

♪♪

Hey, great news, guys!

My parents are back together!

- Cool.
- That's great.

Yeah, but my dad moved back home, so...

no apartment for us.

- Aw!
- Aw!

Looks like it's back to the diner.

Does your sister know any more
cool high school friends

we could hang out with?

She's not even working
at the diner as much.

She's got an extra job.

He's changed,
and he's putting on his P.J.s.

Dinner's in the oven and should
be ready in a few minutes.

- Cool.
- Thank you so much

for babysitting. These extra
night shifts really help me out.

I'll see you later. Bye, Dean.

- [Door closes]
- [Sighs]

I don't know why I'm here.

Mama's cooking is way better
than Wendy's.

And she doesn't even have a color TV.

This is what you get
for lying to our parents

about how you were
"learning responsibility"

from watching me work.

- Fine, I-I'll watch.
- No.

This time, you'll learn from experience.

You can start by setting the table

and getting dinner out of the oven.

Chad and I are hungry.

He likes his chicken strips
with extra ketchup,

and I like mine crispy.

We'll need two waters and extra napkins.

Make it snappy, sweetheart.
[Snapping fingers]

- [Sighs]
- [Laughs]

Ah.
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