03x02 - Sinterklaas is Coming to Town

[bunniefuu]

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(EXHALES)

(CRACKING)

(YAWNS)

(CLICKING)

(TRAFFIC WHOOSHES IN DISTANCE)

(GROANS)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(URINATING)

(CHIMING, BUZZING)

- (CHIMING, BUZZING CONTINUE)
- (GRUNTS)

- (URINATING STOPS)
- (EXHALES)

(CLATTERING)

(URINATING CONTINUES)

("SHAKARA" BY FELA KUTI PLAYING)

- Oh, f*ck.
- (URINATING STOPS)

- (THUD)
- (GRUNTS)

(CLATTERING)

(MUTTERS)

Do you know where, um...

my underwear or my belt is?

(SUITCASE ZIPPING)

Uh...

Do you speak English?

Oh!

I need it!

I-I need it.

(PHONE BUZZING)

Yo.

You here?

(GRUNTS, SNIFFLES)

I'm still in Copenhagen.

Uh, is Al with you?

No. That n*gga's in jail.

What? What happened?

I have no idea.

I've been roaming the streets.

High since twilight.

Darius...

This city is my Jesus.

Darius, listen,

I-I... I got a text from Van.

She's saying she's...

she's in Amsterdam.

I'm confused.

A-Are you confused?

'Cause I'm confused.

Yeah. I'll deal

with Alfred when I land.

I need you to pick up Van

- from the station, be...
- (PHONE POWERS OFF)

Hello?

(BEEPING)

(SIGHS)

Baby mama drama.

(INDISTINCT P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT)

SECURITY OFFICER: Sorry,
coming through. Sorry.

Sorry, miss.

I'm gonna let him through.

All right. Go ahead.

Yeah. Thank you.

(SOFT CHATTER)

(SENSOR BEEPING)

Excuse me, sir.

I have to pat you down.

Lift up your hands, please.

I can't.

Why not?

I lost my belt.

And my underwear.

I'm sorry, sir.

I can't let you through if
you don't lift your hands.

(EXHALES)

("MAIYSHA" BY MILES DAVIS PLAYING)

Turn around.

(BEEP)

(PLANE ENGINE RUMBLING)

Goedemorgen!

And welcome to Amsterdam!

Otherwise known as the
Venice of the North.

Hey.

Hey.

- (BELL TINKLES)
- Um, Earn kind of got held up, but, um...

Okay.

You my ride?

Yes.

Aren't you cold?

I'm fine. They lost my luggage.

Oh. Well, here, you can wear mine.

I mean, I have been
wearing it for eight days.

- Nine days.
- No, I'm...

I'm good. You should keep it.

It looks good on you. (CHUCKLES) Thanks.

Or, um, we can go find you one.

Got the driver for the day.

You have a driver?

Yeah. Earn hooked it up.

That tour clout.

Yeah. Let's go.

So...

(CLEARS THROAT) how's Lottie?

She's actually, mm... she's good.

She's fine. She's with
my parents right now.

Mm.

And you and Earn?

You guys gonna... (SMACKS LIPS)

pop out another baby?

I have a boyfriend.

Oh.

Yeah.

Why? Are you and Earn planning on...

popping out a baby, too?

Um...

I can't procreate. (SIGHS)

I had my balls crushed
when I was a kid in Nigeria.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Nah, it's okay.

Long time ago.

You ever seen the
movie Foodfight!?

No.

Mm. Check out the trailer.

It's...

it's intense.

Thanks.

Mm-hmm.

("OCEANIC FEELING" BY
MOLLY LEWIS PLAYING)

- (MUSIC STOPS)
- (GEARSHIFT CLICKS)

(ENGINE SHUTS OFF)

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(MAN SPEAKING DUTCH)

Dirk?

- (SPEAKING DUTCH)
- Dirk?

Yeah.

I'm Earn.

Paper Boi's manager.

Oh, my God! Hey!

My name is Dirk. Nice to meet you.

We are so f*cking excited for tonight.

Yeah. The show is sold
out, you know that?

- Ah.
- Sinterklaas come early this year.

(LAUGHS) Hey, listen up. We
got an idea. We were thinking

Paper Boi can maybe wear this
to take some pictures with fans.

What do you think? Here.

With the feather.

Yeah, he's not gonna do that.

- No?
- No.

Okay.

No worries. (CHUCKLES) Who's this?

This is my taxi driver.

Cool.

He's gonna need to be paid.

It's in the rider.

It's about euros, not including tip.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Okay. I pay euro.

Hey, while I got you here, um,

everything is on time from Helsinki.

We're just missing the music laptop.

What?

I assumed it was with you guys, so...

No, we...

- (SNEEZES LOUDLY)
- Oh, gezondheid.

CREW: Gezondheid!

How long do we have
to get the music here?

To be safe, six hours?

Six hours. Got it.

Also, Paper Boi needs a
slight increase in his advance

before the concert tonight.

He's gonna need about K. In cash.

Uh, K when?

Right now.

(WHISTLES)

(CALLS OUT)

(RUSTLING)

- Here.
- Thank you.

K. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Your first time in Amsterdam?

Uh, no. We actually
played a smaller venue...

last year. Yeah.

- Yeah. It's cool here, no?
- Yeah.

And the weed is
verbazingwekkend good. (LAUGHS)

And we tolerate people.
Nothing like America. (LAUGHS)

- Hey, see you tonight, guy. (CHUCKLES)
- See you tonight.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

I'm gonna need, uh...

some money for another cab.

(GRUNTS) This place has...

tiny steps.

Thoughts?

Mm.

Wait a minute.

Hey, come a little closer.

(SNIFFING)

Yeah, you might want to take that off.

It got gasoline on it.

Mm-hmm.

(SNIFFS)

Hey, um,

I'm sorry about mentioning Earn.

I just, um... I don't do
well with small talk and...

stuff like that.

You can ask me something real.

Hmm.

Why are you here?

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

I was up for this job that I wanted

and I didn't get it, so...

thought I'd come here and...

figure it out.

I'm gonna get this one.

Yeah, it's nice.

(SIGHS)

What's that?

Looks like an address.

Ooh.

Yeah, I know exactly what this is.

You have to follow it.

It's destiny.

I'm down.

Say no mo'.

♪ Let the bodies
hit the floor. ♪

(SIGHS)

Man, y'all charging me for this sh*t?

No cost. Whatever you like.

- For real?
- Mm-hmm.

f*ck. A'ight, cool. A'ight, man, uh...

I'm-a get that potato mash, man.

Would you recommend the
schnitzel or the bean soup?

- The bean soup. You like it.
- The bean soup.

All right, let me get one
of the bean soups, man.

Um, look, y'all got
Coke here... Coca-Cola?

- Coca-Cola. (LAUGHS)
- Yes.

- Yes, the real one.
- All right, uh,

can I get some ice with that, too?

- Uh, yes. Uh, cubes?
- Yeah, oh, cube, man.

Not crushed. I don't
want to chew my water.

Uh, y'all got hot sauce, right?

Yes. It's, uh, very spicy,

so maybe, uh, not too much.

(SCOFFS) Man, please, I'm from A.

Whatever you want.

- Appreciate it.
- (CHEERING IN DISTANCE)

Damn, them n*gg*s don't let up, do they?

What they saying, man?

Uh, they say "Free Paper Boi."

"Free Paper Boi"?

- A'ight, I f*ck with that.
- (BOTH LAUGH)

A'ight, man. Thank you, bruh.

- Excuse me, Mr. Miles?
- Al, man.

Oh, uh, your bail has been
paid, so you're free to go.

My bail's been p...
What's your name, man?

Uh, uh, Fons. (LAUGHS SOFTLY)

- F-Fons?
- Yes.

Frons. Frons?

Hey, man, look, I'm-a
get my lunch first.

A'ight? And, um...

just wake me up from my nap
when it get here, a'ight?

Yes, whatever you want.

And can you turn the
thermostat down a little bit?

It's a little warm.

- Yeah.
- I appreciate that.

Should I turn off the light?

Oh, that'd be great, man. Yeah.

- Thank you. All right.
- Okay. S-See you.

Night, night.

- (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (OCEAN WAVES LAPPING)

- (INSECTS CHIRPING)
- (SIGHS)

Van? Uh, this look like somebody else.

Yeah, let's go.

(CHUCKLES) You crazy. Wait.

What are you gonna say?

I'm gonna ask who this coat belonged to.

Hey. You're right on time.

Luke told me the van broke down.

Is he the driver?

He's the photographer.

The driver's actually...
is still in the van.

You have the address, right?

'Cause I think we're running late.

- Oh, yes, yes. (CHUCKLES)
- Yeah.

(SHOUTS IN DUTCH)

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

(NOSE BLOWS)

(EXHALES, SNIFFLES)

(GRUNTS)

Uh, nah. I'm-I'm good, man. Thank you.

ALFRED: Yeah, man,
I'm just saying, like,

whatever that fabric
softener is, bro, like...

it's fantastic.

Y-You let them know
that. That's what it...

- What up, man?
- (SNEEZES)

ALL: Gesundheit.

♪ I'm still in they head,
with my foot on they neck... ♪

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

Hey, man, you got that
thing I asked you for?

Oh, y-yeah.

Um...

Bail was mad cheap, though, so...

getting kind of nervous.

Oh, thanks, man. I appreciate that.

- Hey!
- (CHEERING)

♪ I got money instead... ♪

Hey, hey. Hey!

There you go, baby. (LAUGHS)

How y'all be?

They love me here, man.

- You okay?
- (COUGHS) No.

ALFRED: f*ck was up with that

midget, Don King-looking
baby back there?

Hi.

What's with all the blackface?

- Blackface?
- ALFRED: Oh, n*gga,

stop acting like you don't know what...

Black... black, face, babies.

(LAUGHS): Ah.

That's, uh, Zwarte Piet.

That's, uh, for the children.

It's a long tradition passed
down for many generations, so...

Actually, he's black because
he fell down the chimney,

uh, helping, uh, Saint Nicholas.

EARN: Hmm.

- Hmm.
- Okay, well,

feels like Santa's sl*ve,
but I respect the rebrand.

Yeah.

- He fell down the chimney, you said?
- DRIVER: Yeah.

Yeah. Great guy.

Hands out candy, you know?
Who doesn't like candy?

(FEENA SPEAKING DUTCH)

- (SPEAKS DUTCH)
- (FEENA CONTINUING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hi.

Thank you

DARIUS: Mm.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

(CRYING)

Damn.

Pretty sure that's Tupac.

- What?
- Yeah.

I felt the thug spirit in
my bones on the way up here.

I knew it.

Think about it.

There was this theory that
Tupac faked his death, right?

And then he, uh, went to
hide out in the Caribbean.

- How high are you right now?
- And there's a Dutch Caribbean.

Um...

Four? H-High four,
maybe, sliding into five.

- Sliding in...
- FEENA: Pardon me.

Would you please take a
picture of us with him?

Oh, you want a pict... All right, yeah.

Here.

(WHISPERED CHATTER)

Mm. Hello.

Hi.

- (CRYING)
- Oh, you probably want landscape.

Uh...

Do you know him?

I'm his death doula.

I'm here to help my friend and
the people who love him let go.

He's dying?

Yeah, not long from
now, he will transition

out of this world and into the next.

- Mm.
- Hmm.

May I ask what your name is?

Yeah, I'm, uh...

Vanessa.

How are you doing, Vanessa?

I'm good.

I actually flew in from Atlanta today.

- Hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

How was your flight?

(EXHALES) It was good. I, you know,

I... actually, I used to
fly in from Europe a lot

when I was a kid, so...

But it's just kind of different now.

Hmm. How so?

Uh... (CHUCKLES)

I just... I'm just different.

I guess I'm-I'm just not...
I'm not a kid anymore, so...

You know.

(WOMAN CRYING)

You know, I've-I've
actually, I've been having

these panic att*cks.

And I thought maybe coming here would...

(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

You have deviled eggs.

Oh. Yes, please, eat.

He wanted a real party. A celebration.

Love your songs, man.

I'm glad you're with
someone who can comfort you.

Oh. (LAUGHS)

That's not my boyfriend.

- He's not my boyfriend.
- Oh.

His friend is my daughter's father.

- Ah, I see.
- I'm actually not even here

- with my daughter's father.
- Mm.

No, I'm pretty aimless right now.

I think you're exactly
where you're meant to be.

- Hello. Please, may I help with your...
- No, thanks.

n*gga, if you don't get
the f*ck out my face...

(SIGHS)

- (SIGHS)
- You know them?

n*gga, I cannot with
these crazy hoes today.

Are they what happened last night?

n*gga, I just said I don't want
to talk about it, all right?

(SNIFFLES)

What the hell happened in here?

- Oh, ooh.
- (LAUGHTER)

- Mm.
- Oh.

Is this a nice welcome to my country?

Oh, hell yeah. Holland slaps.

- Mm.
- Wow.

HEDY: Ooh, well, happy
Sinterklaas to me.

Oh...

(SPEAKS DUTCH)

- What?
- De traditie is r*cist.

(BOTH SPEAKING DUTCH)

You called Rihanna a "niggabitch."

- In print.
- That was een compliment.

(SPEAKS DUTCH) "Yo,
who's the niggabitch?"

- (LAUGHS)
- (IDA SPEAKS DUTCH)

Why'd you even repeat it?

- HEDY: What, "n*gga..."
- (SLAP)

- (BOTH SHOUTING)
- (SLAPPING, THUDDING)

(CLATTERING, CRASHING)

(BOTH SHOUTING, SHRIEKING)

(HEDY SCREAMS)

(TONGUE CLICKS) Whatever, man.

(CHUCKLES) Same ratchet-ass
hoes, different-ass city.

I'm just glad that girl
ain't take off with my sh*t.

Hey, I'm-a wash my ass. You good?

Yeah, I'm good.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(EXHALES, SNIFFLES)

(LINE RINGING)

MAN: Hello?

Hi, is this air
ambulance transportation?

Sure is.

Yes, I'm in the music business.

I-I know you normally

- transfer organs,
- (DOOR OPENS)

but, uh, I'm trying to get a laptop

that we left at a music venue in Hels...

H-Helsinki.

Great.

DEATH DOULA: It's time.

Our gorgeous friend

is ready to say goodbye.

Our duty now is to tell
him it's okay to leave us.

Does anyone want to join me?

H-He can hear you.

You can say something.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

(BUZZING)

(MUFFLED GRUNTING)

(GASPING)

(SOFT CRYING)

♪ Come with me, Hail Mary... ♪

Oh, my God.

♪ Run, quick, see ♪

♪ What do we have here now? ♪

♪ Do you want to ride or die? ♪

("JINGLE BELLS" BY SMOKEY
ROBINSON & THE MIRACLES PLAYING)

Thank you.

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah... ♪

Hey, we're good to
go. We got the laptop.

ALFRED: Yeah, tell 'em I
ain't doing this sh*t, man.

What? Why?

♪ Ride and sing ♪

♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪

♪ Oh, I say ♪

- ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
- ♪ Jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way... ♪

Huh.

♪ Oh, what fun... ♪

Hey, what's up? Y'all ready?

Yeah, um... I'll handle this.

- Okay. Mm-hmm.
- You guys go.

- (CLEARS THROAT)
- Get out of here.

Try and be discreet.

ALFRED: Turn the clogs around,
bro, we ain't doing this sh*t.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey, homie. How are you?
I heard the laptop arrived.

Yeah.

- That's good, no?
- Yes.

Um, bad news, man. Uh,

Paper Boi's... (SNIFFLES)

he's not feeling too good.

He's actually, he's
got what I got, so...

sh*t.

Probably not gonna be
able to perform tonight.

E-Excuse me, what?

The insurance claim should cover it.

I'll just start filling
out the paperwork

when I get to the hotel.

I'm sorry, man.

(DOOR OPENS)

You f*ck me?

Excuse me?

Do you know how many
people are waiting tonight,

and they're expecting to see Paper Boi?

I don't know what to tell
you. Artists get sick.

Just fill out the insurance claim.

You'll make, actually, more
money than you would've tonight.

So you do f*ck me.

I don't f*ck anyone.

I will destroy you.

(LAUGHS)

Okay.

(SHOUTS)

Hello?

What are you doing?

(MUTTERS IS DUTCH)

(SHOUTS, GROANS)

- Liar!
- (CRYING)

DIRK: Why are you making
me do this to you, Earn?

(GRUNTING)

You son of a bitch.

Why are you making me do this?

- (PUNCHING CONTINUING)
- (GRUNTING)

(EARN SIGHS)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Van.

Oh, hey.

What's up?

Nothing. I got some ice.

You're getting ice at
: in the morning?

Yeah.

You good?

Yeah.

Night, Earn.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(PHONE CHIMING)

("AT THE HOTEL" BY
EUNICE COLLINS PLAYING)

♪ At the hotel ♪

♪ Feeling motel ♪

- ♪ Treating me like I'm for sale ♪
- ♪ What's your hurry, baby? ♪

- ♪ At the hotel ♪
- ♪ At the hotel ♪

- ♪ Feeling motel ♪
- ♪ Feeling motel ♪

- ♪ Treating me like ♪
- ♪ Treating me like ♪

- ♪ I'm for sale ♪
- ♪ I'm for sale ♪

♪ At the hotel ♪

♪ Feeling motel ♪

♪ Treating me like
I'm for sale ♪

♪ Out of the fire ♪

♪ Into the pain ♪

♪ Why can't you be ♪

♪ A -minute man? ♪

♪ At the hotel ♪

♪ Feeling motel ♪