01x07 - The Breakthrough

[bunniefuu]

Turn around. Hands up!

Well, well.

Just as I suspected.

Kind of obvious
when you think about it, huh?

No for me, boss. I no see that coming.

Anyone with an alibi
is always a suspect, Markowitz.

How do you know these things, jefe?

Wait. I'm the sidekick?

Yes. You're the sidekick.

Thank you so much.
I don't know what to say.

You're welcome.
Now, should we go back to the top?

Yeah? Okay.

Well, well.

Just as I suspected.

Kind of obvious when...

Why the accents?

You're Puerto Rican.

Hey. Not bad.

There you go. Okay.

Well, well.

Just as I suspected.

He watched the light fade
from the man's eyes,

the withdrawing of the life-force
from the body

seeming to coincide

with the evacuation of his bowels
into his gabardine slacks.

"…into his gabardine slacks."

Before long…

"Before long…"

- …the putrid scent of feces…
- "…the putrid scent of feces…"

…hung in the air like…

the ghost of a dead lover.

"…hung in the air
like the ghost of a dead lover."

You getting this, Marty?

You know, you gotta keep up
with the rhythm of the prose.

You know, it's like jazz.

- Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah?

I got it. I got it. Got it.

"Another day, another dollar,"
as he always said.

"…another dollar…"

He turned on his heel and walked out.

Another day,

- another case closed.
- "Another day… Case closed."

The end.

"The end."

Or is it?

Isn't it?

Just saying that,

maybe Dr. Kessler
isn't as dead as he seemed.

Wow. No way.

- I love it.
- Well, there we go.

Book nine of the "Some Like It" series
complete.

Incredible.

And ship all of this to the publisher?

I think so, yeah.
I think it reads better as a series.

But it's this last book
that's gonna really get them interested.

- Yeah.
- It's the ultimate page-turner.

Bottom line, though, it's gonna sell.

And at the end of the day,
that's all the publishers care about.

Getting noses in books.

Ouch.

My stomach kinda hurts when I do that.

Yeah, well, you know what?
My head really hurts when I do this.

I just wrote an entire novel.

But this has been going on
for a couple of weeks now.

Well,
maybe your stomach problems are back.

It... It feels different.

It sounds weird, but I can't fart,
you know?

Even though it feels like I need to.

And then if I cough, it feels like
I might, you know, poop by mistake.

Okay. Yeah. That's too much information.

Thank you.

Marty, are you okay?

I just have a little bit of discomfort
when I move.

Or don't move.

Or breathe.

That doesn't sound so good.
Sit down. I'll get you some water.

No. No, no, no. I can't. We're too busy.

You weren't too busy
to have a heart att*ck.

You scared us once before.

You think I'm gonna let you do that again?
Sit.

Hey, listen.
I know this probably isn't the best time,

but I was wondering
if I could get a word with you

about some financial stuff.

Bruce, can you just
email Norman Horowitz about it?

Well, it's kinda urgent.

And I figured it's easier to talk to you
because you're right here.

What's up, Bruce?

I was just…

That's okay. We can talk later.

Problem?

No, no. No problem.

It kind of sounds like there is.

Come on, Bruce. You can say anything.

I was having a look
at this year's accounts

on top of this year's expenses, and…

we have a big problem.

We don't use the word "problem" at AFC.
We use the word "solution."

Yeah, but sometimes you need to know
the problem in order to find the solution.

Okay, thank you, Cathy. That'll be enough.

Our problem is that profits are down
and midtown rents are up.

- Yeah. We can't afford the lease here.
- Okay, you know what?

This sounds like something
for Norman Horowitz.

Yeah. I gotta be honest.
It's k*lling us. Right?

Another six months of this rent,
we go under. Simple as that.

All right, you know what?
All I hear is the word "problem."

But he has a solution.

Okay.
Well, lead with that next time, please.

A contact of mine tipped me off
that the Lea & Perrins factory

in Fair Lawn, New Jersey is empty.

Now, we could move out of here,

rent that place for, like,
under half the price.

It's twice the size,
but we'd have to move quick.

- That place is gonna go fast.
- No.

Forget it, Bruce.
We're not moving to New Jersey.

This is a great opportunity.

You know, when I encouraged
more feedback from the workforce,

I was expecting suggestions
more along the lines of

"Could we get some non-dairy creamer
for the coffee cart?"

Not, "Hey, I've got an idea.

Why don't we t*nk our business
and move to New Jersey?"

- But the problem is that we can't...
- You don't take AFC out of Manhattan.

It's classy. It's classic.

New Jersey is second-rate. It's cheap.

Do you think that the pastrami from
Katz's Deli tastes the same in New Jersey?

- Yes.
- I think that it probably would, yeah.

No, incorrect. It doesn't.

Moving, in itself, Bruce,
is expensive. So…

Look, Bruce,
business is all about perception.

If we were to pack up and move out
to some sauce factory in New Jersey

with our schmekel between our legs,
that sends a message.

It sends a message to our customers
as well as our competition.

And that message is,
"Hey, look at us. We're losers."

Now, you wanna make a suggestion?

Maybe we should try moving to a place
that's more expensive.

That would be smart.

Now, if all of you financial wizards
would excuse me, I have patients to see.

Thankfully, none of them
are as crazy as Bruce.

Here. Take that.

Listen, I don't wanna cause
any trouble, all right?

But this is a serious situation.

You know I care about this company, Marty.

I was there when your dad
put his sweat and blood into this place.

I feel like I sorta owe it to him
to keep it alive.

I don't know. I mean,
I hear what you're saying, Bruce,

but…
I think we gotta listen to the experts.

You know, it's his world.
He knows what he's talking about.

- It's... Jesus. See a fricking doctor.
- No.

No, no.
A doctor's only gonna make things worse.

It's like taking your car in.
They're gonna find something eventually.

That is it. I'm making the call.

- No.
- You are not crapping out on me, Marty.

I am not springing for a new dress
for a perfectly avoidable funeral.

You have a hernia.
You will need surgery to repair the tear.

Surgery? Like surgery-surgery?

I'm afraid so, and as soon as possible.

Good news is it's a straightforward
procedure and nothing to worry about.

Well, I guess that is good news.

So, in and out? You know, like, same day?

Not quite. We get in there pretty deep.

We keep you around to make sure
the sutures don't get infected.

Sutures?

You won't feel them.

You'll wake up very comfortable
from the anesthesia.

Anesthesia? What?
Hold on. This doesn't sound so simple.

How long will I be in the hospital?

I have a lot of responsibilities
I need to take care of.

What sort of responsibilities?

Well, you know... My constituents.

They're counting on me.

You're an elected official?

No,
I don't think I used that word correctly.

People need me to be healthy, is all.

Not long at all.
Should only be a few days.

And then, obviously,
there will be a period of recovery.

A period of recovery?

Oh, my God.

All right, well, I guess I will…

I have to get my affairs in order.

Mr. Markowitz, I assure you,
it's really pretty routine.

We'll get everything popped back in,
and then off you go.

Right. Okay.

I've been thinking, Marty. That whole
thing with Bruce didn't sit well with me.

The Bruce thing? What thing?

A move to Jersey.

I just don't have time for negativity.

It's toxic.

And it's not good for your anxiety.

I don't know. I just think...

You know what?

We're out of time for today.

- Oh, right.
- Yeah.

So… with the koi.

They have this ich parasite problem
with their gills currently,

so they're gonna need
a little more care than usual.

Can I ask you to put
some formalin drops in the pond

as soon as you get down there

- for the weekend?
- Sure.

- Yeah.
- Great.

About the feeding schedule.

I think the long-release block
should be good for a few more days,

but you may wanna add
a precise measured pour

of the spirulina algae as a weekend treat.

Think of it
as their Saturday morning pancakes.

It's all labeled in the guest house.

And also, I wrote it down.

Got it.

And… if I don't make it…

can you just promise me
they'll be taken care of?

Seriously? Come on.

Look, let's not make a huge deal of this,
okay?

It's a hernia. Yeah?
It's like getting your tonsils out.

The girls got their tonsils out
when they were little, and it was fine.

You know, we watched Jungle Book
and we ate ice cream and Jell-O.

You're gonna be great.
You're in very good hands.

And your fish are in good hands too.

I know how much they mean to you,
so they mean just as much to me.

I appreciate that.

Come here.

Is that a hernia
or are you just pleased to see me?

Come on.

I love playing around.

- All right.
- Okay.

Talk soon.

Finally, we just need contact details
for your next of kin.

Just a formality, in case of emergency.

Parents? Wife? Children? Siblings?
Could be anyone.

Ike Herschkopf.

H-E-R-S-C-H-K-O-P-F.

Great. Good luck.

You did great, Marty.

It's okay. You're in recovery.

Okay.

Doctor ordered a CBC.

Need to make sure that your iron levels
have come back up

- and check for any possible infections.
- Okay.

- Got any questions, honey?
- Yes.

- Visiting hours are 9:00 to 5:00, right?
- That's correct.

How you feeling?

You know.

Question.

Does someone have to be approved
before they can come visit?

What exactly is the process?

Is it a written consent?

Oral consent? 'Cause I'm happy to...

I'm gonna up your meds, okay?

No, no, no, 'cause I need to stay awake
in case he comes by.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

I just need to run through some
of these insurance details with you.

Is there a chance that I wouldn't be
getting cell phone reception in here?

I just wanna make sure
I'm not missing any visitors

who try to get ahold of me.

Can I check your phone?

Okay.

Hello? Dr. Ike?

No, no. You…

No, you have the wrong number. Yeah.

Yeah. No. Okay.

Mr. Markowitz? You have a visitor.

I do?

- Thanks, man.
- You're welcome.

Good afternoon, sir.

My friends and I
are reading to seniors today.

Would... Would you like me to read to you?

"I seen it over and over.

A guy talkin' to another guy
and it don't make no difference

if he don't hear or understand.

The thing is, they're talkin'
or they're settling still not talking.

It's just bein' with another guy."

Why are you here, Terrel?

You don't actually care about me, do you?

No. You're okay. You're cool.

- I'm cool?
- Yeah.

No.

I'm not cool.

Why are you really here?

Honestly, I just need some stuff
to put on my college app.

It was either this or band,
and I hate band, so…

Everyone hates band.

Well, at least you're honest.

Don't ever lose that.

So…

do you want me to keep reading, sir, or…

You know what? Yeah. Why not?

Thanks, Terrel.

"Sure, you could play horseshoes
till it got dark,

but then you got to read books.

Books ain't no good.

A guy needs somebody to be near him.

A guy goes nuts if he ain't got nobody.

Don't make no difference who the guy is,
long as he's with you.

I tell ya, a guy gets too lonely
an' he gets sick."

You can stop there, Terrel.

Thank you.

Mr. Markowitz?

Mr. Markowitz.

You can't leave.

Come back here. Sir.

What do you think you're doing?
Mr. Markowitz!

f*ck.

Everybody, duck!

- Don't say it. Don't even think it.
- What?

- I'm not playing golf with you again.
- Why not?

"Why not?" That wasn't golf.
That was more like hockey.

I was afraid for my life.

Have you tried the hot tub yet?
You should try the hot tub.

- Even you can't miss that.
- I ought to…

Have you seen the sundial?

- No.
- No? No? Here, look.

Thirty-six feet tall.

And you know, to get it in, I had to
chop down a tree and install it by crane.

- Amazing.
- Yeah?

- Do you know what time it is?
- No.

Cocktail time.

You don't need a sundial to tell you that.

No, you don't.

You most certainly do not.

Have you played the giant chess?

Go ahead and play some giant chess.

Marty, my sweet.
Why are you so dressed up?

It's not a formal party.

I need to talk to you.

Oh, yeah. Sure, of course.
Hey, come on. Let's…

Marty, your tush is hanging out.

Here. Here. Okay.

- All right.
- Who's that?

That's Chef Pete.
I hired him for the party.

He used to cook for Kevin Bacon
and Kyra Sedgwick.

He's good, but he's no Marty Markowitz.

All right.

What's going on?

For the better part
of the last three decades…

I have dedicated my life to you.

Every weekend, every holiday, everything.

And you couldn't even find
time in your schedule

over the course of four days
to come... come visit me?

To call me?

To check in on me during one of
the most harrowing experiences of my life?

Okay, I know they pumped you
full of narcotics, Marty,

and that you're a lightweight,
so I'm assuming it's hitting you hard.

I don't underst... You wanted me to, what,
come by the hospital

with Jell-O and ice cream,

- snuggle up and watch Jungle Book?
- Why?

Why didn't you come?

I thought we were family.

Are you serious?

Marty, I'm worried that you're serious.

You need to know this.
You need to hear this.

I would do anything for you. Anything.

The second you told me
about your procedure,

I called my contacts at NYU Langone
the very next day.

I told them that we're family.

The hospital bed,
the private room you had.

Who do you think did that? I did that.

I can't believe you didn't think
I would do anything.

After all these years,
is that how you see me?

I was just surprised
that you didn't come and visit.

Why didn't you ask me to come? I...
Do you think I'm that much of a schmuck?

You don't think I'm gonna come and...
Of course. Why didn't you say,

"Ike, it would mean a lot if you
swung by"? I'm not a mind reader.

- Well, why...
- You say that you've been by my side

for the better part of three decades.

Well, I'd argue the same thing.

When Debbie and your sister tried
to bleed you dry after your parents d*ed,

who was there?

What about when AFC
wanted to grow and expand?

Who provided you with that opportunity?

When you had a heart att*ck,

who scooped you up
and held your hand in the ambulance?

Who saved your life?

Marty…

That's loyalty.

That's love.

I'd do anything for you. You're my guy.

I will always show up for you.

You're absolutely right.

I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry.
- Come here, you maniac.

Come... Come…

Marty, I love you. You are my brother.

You hear me?

- Are you listening?
- Yeah.

Good.

Now get out of this farkakte outfit
and meet me by the pool, huh?

All right. All right.

Okay.

Money in the bank. Ready? Jump.

He's hot.

You just made a hundred bucks.

…because your mother raised you as veal.

Let's go in here, all right?
There's air-conditioning.

There are hundreds of movies,
all Academy Award winners.

Mind the boccie balls.

- Hi, tchotchke.
- Hi.

Having a good time?

- Uh-huh.
- Oh, great.

Maybe you could send the message
to your face?

What?

Maybe you can arrange your features

in a configuration
that expresses some form of enjoyment.

- f*ck you, Ike.
- Come on.

I'm kidding. You look terrific.

I'm worried. What is going on with Marty?

What? Nothing. He's fine.

Yeah, well, he's a little loopy
post-surgery, but he's fine.

No, he doesn't seem fine.

Maybe we should just wrap this up
and just get him some rest.

Wrap this up? What, are you crazy?
Lisa Rinna just got here.

Should we bring him something to eat?

Yeah, sure. I don't know. If you think so.
But one of us has to host this party.

I know, but I don't know.

I think we should just shut this down
and send everybody home. He's not okay.

What are you, the fun police?

Well, don't be ridiculous, Bonnie.
All right?

I've already got one ridiculous wife.
His name is Marty Markowitz.

You don't have to tell me that.

Stu, get away from that rock.

You always get caught
in that little roundabout.

So, did you guys miss me?

Well, I missed you too.

That's very nice of you.

Where's Adam? How's his ich?

Stu, where's Adam?

Where…

Where is he?

Adam?

Where the hell is he? Ada...

What?

Oh, no. Adam.

Adam.

g*dd*mn fish m*rder*r.

"Brothers," my ass.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

- Lisa. Ike Herschkopf.
- Hi.

Thanks for coming.

- You look gorgeous, as always.
- Thank you.

- You don't mind if we get a picture?
- Okay. So, which button is...

- On the top.
- I pressed the wrong one.

- Can I just go find my glasses?
- No. No. You know... It's okay.

Hey, hey! Come. Come here.

Thank you. Thank you.

Come here. Take this picture of us.

- Enjoying yourself?
- I am. I am. Gorgeous. I love the house.

Thank you.

- Success.
- Great.

I wanna show you these cows.

I got 'em in a gallery in the city.

- Okay.
- They're so fun.

Collect some of these wet towels,
would you?

Right over here. It's terrific stuff.

Hey. Hey, Marty. You okay?

Are you in pain?

You... You know.

Yeah.

Can I get you anything?

I've had enough.

What?

I can't do this.

I've tried, Bonnie.

For so long.

You need something?

I left the Ambien in your bathroom.

What are you looking at?

Party for the ages, it seems.

The lawn is totally trashed.

Well, eight hours of open bar
with your friends is not a good combo.

- I can't get this…
- Our friends.

Your friends.

Marty's got his work cut out for him.
He'll see to it tomorrow. I got it.

Yeah. I don't think that's a good idea.
He just got out of the hospital.

He's been lying in bed,
bored out of his mind,

desperate to get out there.

He likes it, you know.

It's therapeutic for him.

I can't help it if his favorite thing
in the world to do

helps us out sometimes.

Did you hear that Jacob went to the…

Sleep well, friend.

I'm sorry I couldn't protect you.

That's because it is, Claire.
It's an invasion of your privacy.

Here's what we're going to do. You ready?

- You ready? Okay.
- Yes.

You're going to block your mother
and father on Facebook.

No more wall posts.

- No more pokes. No more tags.
- Really? I...

Yes, really. These are toxic people,

and they need to learn that
if they're going to take advantage of you,

there are consequences.

Yeah. I mean, you're probably right.
Right? Yeah.

- Thank you, Dr. Herschkopf.
- Don't thank me.

This is my job.

And… yeah,
unfortunately we're out of time.

We even went a few minutes over.

But… look.

Call me this week if you wanna schedule
a few more appointments.

This is a big step.

And I think you're going to need me a few
more times to help guide you through.

Okay. Thank you.

- Good seeing you, as always, Claire.
- Yeah.

Hey, Marty. You're late. It's 11:20.

And… just wanna make sure
everything's okay.

You stuck in traffic?

We have an appointment.
Hope to see you soon.

35th and 7th. And avoid 5th Avenue.

- It's a nightmare.
- Got it.

I'm very interested
in the lecture circuit.

I love to travel.

I guess, sure.
Okay, yeah. We'll talk about it then.

Great. And we'd love to take you up
on your offer to visit Stowe next winter.

Sounds terrific.

Well, there is... Yeah.

Dennis, I have to call you back.

AFC. How may I help you?

I'd like to speak to Marty, please.

Marty is... is not available right now,
but I could take a message.

- I need to speak to Marty.
- Yeah.

Sure. I'll have him give you a ring back.

Why? My God!
Who takes the bridge at this hour, huh?

At this rate, we'll get there
by the Sabbath. Oh, f*ck! f*ck!

Thanks.

- And I don't wanna throw it out.
- Check it out. No, no.

- Because I know it's perfectly brand-new.
- Hey, Cathy.

It's good to see you. Can you point me
in the direction of Marty, please?

Forget it. I'll find him myself.

- What's up?
- Hi, Marty.

Good to see you.

What's…

What's going on?

- Nothing. Just unpacking.
- I can see that.

I got cuts all over my hands
from the cardboard. See?

- That's gotta hurt.
- Yeah. Yeah, a little bit.

Bruce, can you give us a moment, please?

What's…

What's going on?

Well, Marty…

a lot of things are going on.

One being, when did you move?

A few days ago.

But you knew we were moving.

We had to.

The city rent was k*lling us.

I thought we decided
we were not going to leave the city.

Well,

I know that you decided
that you didn't want to.

But I decided that we had to,
to keep the company from going under.

And since it's my company,

I decided…

that…

that that was the decision.
So, yeah, here we are.

And it's kinda nice.

- Look at the space and the light.
- Yeah.

No. It's the Venice of America.

Can we speak in your office, please?

About that.

We no longer have private offices.

Yeah, it's... it's more
of an open concept now.

Oh, Marty.

This is… a shame.

- Why?
- You.

All of this.

You've taken a real step backwards.

You're not thinking clearly, Marty.

I have your best interest at heart.

And it's hurting me
to see you hurt yourself like this.

- Is that so?
- Yes, it's so.

It's very much so.

Do you know that I just spent two hours
on the GW Bridge, okay?

George f*cking Washington himself
didn't take that long to cross the Hudson.

The Delaware.

- What?
- He crossed the Delaware.

That's... That is the famous crossing.

- I know.
- He crossed the Delaware.

He was president, Marty.
He crossed a lot of f*cking rivers.

How do you think he got to Manhattan
in the first place, huh?

- What, did he take the PATH train?
- Okay.

Let me tell you something.
This arrangement, it's untenable.

It's untenable!

How do you expect me to help AFC

if I am stuck for two hours
schlepping out here, huh?

It's, like, a waste of money, Marty.

It's a waste of your money.

Then don't come.

I beg your pardon?

If it's so much of a hassle,

then maybe you shouldn't come.

Marty…

- are you f*ring me?
- No.

No. No, of course not.

Good. Good, because I...

But Norman Horowitz is.

- Yes! Yes, Marty. Yes!
- Marty!

Way to go, Marty.

Marty!

Thanks.