01x00 - Marooned

[bunniefuu]

Oh, my gosh! Man overboard.

I'll save you, Skipper!

The Minnow's been beached.

Beached? When the storm was over,
you said we'd be home in no time.

It may take longer.

When the passengers wake up,
what are you gonna tell them?

I'll think of something.

How are we gonna get home?
Look at those holes.

You know, I'm very happy to be here.
I'm so happy I could kiss the ground.

This island tastes terrible.

Isn't it wonderful, Ginger? We're safe!

I never thought
dirt could look so beautiful.

What a wonderful sight! Terra firma.

He even knows the name of this place.
Terra firma.

No wonder you're a professor.

Now hear this, folks.
There has been a slight change in our plan.

That's right.
Instead of dropping you off at the marina...

we've brought you right here
to this very spot. Wherever that is.

- Thank you, steward.
- wonder if tipping would be in bad taste.

There was a time when I thought...

the boys in my class
would have a new teacher next term.

I wanna thank you, too, Skipper.

I was sure I'd end up
as a hunk of shish kebab on a swordfish.

I'm especially glad that I didn't drown
because ll don't even know how to swim.

Oh, Captain?

Would you have your man
remove our luggage from this vessel?

I'd be very happy to, Mr. Howell.
Where would you have it removed to?

Some place where the limousine can
pick it up and take us to the nearest hotel.

I don't even know where we are.
For all I know, this island is uninhabited.

Nonsense.
Mr. Hilton has hotels everywhere.

- Right, Lovey?
- Quite right, Thurston, dear.

That storm drove us
hundreds of miles off course.

This island doesn't even appear
on my Navy charts.

You should have gotten your charts
from a more reliable source.

There is no more reliable source
than the U.S. Navy.

Yes, there is.
The Sunnybrook Yacht Club. My outfit.

Come along, Lovey.

You know,
I think someone ought to report him.

He will bear watching.

Now hear this.

I want all you passengers to stay
right here by the boat and out of danger.

Gilligan and I will explore the island.

I got the equipment right here.
I knew you would need it.

- Good work. Let's get started.
- Yes, sir.

There's exactly what I've been looking for.

A coconut tree.
We've passed a thousand of them.

- If you've seen one, you've seen them all.
- Not like this one.

This has got to be
the tallest tree on the island.

From the top of this tree,
it will be possible to see the whole island.

- Then we'll know if it's uninhabited or not.
- Great idea, Skipper.

Who's gonna climb up there
to look around?

There's only two of us here.

You can't do it because you're the skipper.

And I can't do it because
I don't know how to climb a coconut tree.

Besides, I'm afraid of heights.

I'm not starting any mutiny, Skipper.
But I'm not climbing up that tree.

No, siree. Not me.

What do you see?

Nothing! I've got my eyes closed!

There's nothing to be afraid of.
Look around.

You were right, Skipper.
I can see the whole island from up here.

Look out below!

Thanks for the warning.

I see something.

- I see some people.
- Is it a village?

It's just some people.
But they have a boat, Skipper.

They can get us off here.
Skipper, we're saved.

I'm sorry, Skipper. I'm just so anxious.

Never mind that! Are you--

Are you sure you saw some people?

Yes. A boat, too. We're saved!

Just follow me. I know exactly where it is!

Right this way, Skipper.
I'm blazing the old trail!

We're saved! Come on, Skipper. Come on.

There's the beach. Wait till we tell
the passengers the good news.

Look, Skipper, look!

The sea and air search for the S.S. Minnow
has proven unsuccessful.

The small boat which usually
ferries tourists among nearby islands...

must have been sunk in the recent storm...

and the Coast Guard
is abandoning the search.

Now, the latest from Wall Street.

Today the Dow Jones Averages
climbed to a new high.

Don't turn that off. That's the best part.

Here we are on a desert island,
uninhabited, unexplored, uncharted.

I get the picture. Just color us lost.

Our only chance of rescue is
if the Professor gets the transmitter fixed.

Then we can radio for help.

I've been trying, but it's very difficult
without the proper tools.

Now hear this, folks.
We've all got enough to keep us busy.

The Professor here,
he's fixing the transmitter.

Gilligan is out there right now
fishing for our dinner.

And you girls,
wash all the dirty clothes on board.

Aye, aye, Skipper.

- Mr. Howell.
- Quiet, please.

Mr. Howell, please.

Just above the beach, in that group
of palms, is a freshwater spring.

- And?
- And here's a bucket.

My dear Captain,
you don't quite understand.

Understand? What?

- Well, I'm retired.
- Of course you are, dear.

And ll haven't worked since...
Well, let me see now.

- Lovey, when was the last time I worked?
- Darling, you never have.

Of course, dear old dad left me everything.

Come on, Lovey. Industrials are up.

Here.

Never mind, I'll get the water myself.

Captain, something very important.

- How's that?
- We always have dinner at : .

Cocktails first.

Test, one, two, three, four.

It works! I fixed it!

Skipper! The transmitter works!

- fixed it.
- Great! Wonderful!

I found a break in the circuit, and I fixed it.
Now it works. Come on.

The transmitter was right here,
next to the radio.

- This is just the case.
- You mean right here?

Yes, and ll know I fixed it.
Il heard myself on the radio.

Come on, Professor, if it was here
with the radio how could it vanish?

Now I know how it could vanish.

Hi, Skipper. Going in for a dip?

Now hear this!

If there be a man-eating shark out there...

what are you waiting for?

Who goes there?

Skipper.

That was our last b*llet.

Let me stand guard for a while.
You've been up half the night.

I wanna help.

You must be exhausted.
Someone has to relieve you.

Maybe you're right.

Go get the Professor.
Ask him to come here.

Maybe he can watch for a while.

The Professor's only a passenger.
I'm your very own crew.

Do you have to remind me of that?

I know this mess we're in is all my fault.

I mean, I'm the one who lost the anchor.

And I'm the one who lost the radio.
And I'm the one who lost the transmitter.

And without the transmitter,
we're marooned on this island.

- I'll tell you what, Skipper.
- What?

You don't have to pay me
for this week's work.

Do you really know the fix we're in?

There may be wild animals
waiting out there to chew us to bits.

We may be att*cked by savages
from nearby islands. Cannibals.

And now, thanks to you, we haven't even
got a w*apon to defend ourselves.

Skipper, I saved some good news for last.

With you around,
there's no such thing as good news.

I saved a box of cartridges, Skipper,
for the revolver.

- b*ll*ts for the g*n?
- Yes, sir.

- kept them dry all through the storm.
- Good work, Gilligan.

Give them to me and I'll load the p*stol.

Hold this for me, would you?

How long do you think
we'll really be on this island?

With that transmitter on the bottom
of the ocean, we're stuck here...

that is unless we're spotted
by a plane or a ship.

That could be days or weeks
or even months.

No wonder you insisted we build a shelter.

Correction, Professor, three shelters.

A "his" for the boys, a "hers" for the girls,
and a "theirs" for the Howells.

- better go get some more palm leaves.
- Good idea.

Skipper, can ll help you?

- No, Gilligan.
- Please?

It's no use, Gilligan.
You're just plain old bad luck to me.

Remember on the destroyer,
when the depth charge broke loose?

Yes. It was rolling across the deck
and I pulled you away. I saved your life.

Not exactly. You didn't save it,
you just prolonged it.

So you'd give me more bad luck.

Will you run along?
I've got a lot of work to do.

Aye, aye, sir.

Shove off, Gilligan!

Professor, can I help you?

Gilligan, it is incorrect English to say,
"Can I help you?”

You should say, "May I help you?"

- Professor, may I help you?
- No.

Isn't it fun being castaway
on a desert island?

Yeah. Loads of laughs.

Robinson Crusoe enjoyed it for nine years.

Hi, girls. Can I help?
I'm very good at washing.

I'm very good at wishing.
And ll wish you'd get lost.

Ginger, I'm surprised at you.
Why are you so mean to him?

Bunny, it's Gilligan's fault
we're stuck on this stupid island.

But after all, he is a human being.

I'll bet he isn't and I'll give you six points.

You better keep away from me.
I'm nothing but plain old bad luck.

You mustn't talk that way.

Every time I try to help
something goes wrong.

You know, I thought of packing my things
and clearing out.

I'm glad you didn't.

I couldn't. There's no place to clear out to.

I wish I had some suds.
I'd even settle for Brand X.

I've got to help Ginger with the washing.
Now, you catch some nice big fish.

- But ll don't think I can--
- Now, those are orders.

Darling, look at that.

Why, it's Gilligan!

At a time like this, watersports!

I mean, really!

And now it's time
for your daily exercise again.

Open the windows, take a deep breath,
and let good old Tropical Tom...

help you stay in shape.

First, let's try the knee bend.

Hand on hips now, bend at the knees,
and here we go.

One, two, three, four.

Up, down, three, four...

Come on, you, let's get with it.

- Me?
- I mean you, yes.

Up we go, down we go.

Up, down, up, down.

All right, that's enough now. Relax.

The radio.
The fish must've swallowed the radio.

...and Mantle hit a bunt single...

and caught the infield landing,
instead of hitting away.

This puts men on first and third with
one out and Roger Maris coming up to bat.

Come on, Roger. Get a hit.

The radio.
I gotta tell them I caught the radio.

I got it! We're saved.

The fish must've swallowed the radio.

You did it, Gilligan! You saved us.

If that fish swallowed the radio, maybe
another fish swallowed the transmitter.

What do you think
our chances are, Professor?

Considering the size of that lagoon...

and the number of fish large enough
to swallow a transmitter...

the odds of catching one, after we've
caught one that swallowed the radio...

I'd estimate those odds to be
roughly a million to one.

That's good enough for me.
Come on, get to work.

Everybody grab a fish.
Start feeling for that transmitter.

Skipper, wait!

There's an easier way to do it.

I tuned the radio to the same wavelength
as the transmitter.

If you just say a few words into the fish
I'll be able to hear you on the radio.

You heard what he said.

Don't just stand there, Gilligan,
say something into the fish.

- I've never talked to a fish before.
- Say anything.

- Hello there, fish!
- Louder.

- Hello there, louder.
- Now hear this.

- North by northeast.
- Please get me off this island, fish.

"'sh**t, if you must, this old gray head

"'But spare my country's flag!' she said”

Now hear this.

Get me off this island, fish.

Thurston, they've all gone mad.

You've just come out of retirement.

Grab a fish and say something into it.

- Just one moment--
- Those are orders, Mr. Howell!

Grab a fish and say something into it.

You, too, Mrs. Howell.

You heard the Captain, Lovey.

- Maybe we better humor them.
- Yes.

May I have long distance, please?

All hope for the missing charter boat
S.S. Minnow has now been abandoned.

Without that transmitter,
we could be here a very long time.

- knhow how we can be saved.
- Gilligan, ll don't want to hear it.

Okay, Skipper, I won't tell you
about the plane up there.

A plane! A real-life plane.
Help! We're right here!

We've got to attract their attention.
We'll spell out the word "help.”

- How, Skipper?
- Now hear this:

We'll use the fish.

We'll line them up on the beach
and spell out the word "help."”

- I'll make the letter
- I'll take the

- We'll take the "L."
- I'll take the "P."