01x08 - Goodbye Island

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Gilligan's Island". Aired: September 26, 1964 – April 17, 1967.*
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Series follows the comic adventures of seven castaways as they try to survive on an island where they are shipwrecked.
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01x08 - Goodbye Island

Post by bunniefuu »

["The Ballad of Gilligan's
Isle" by George Wyle]

♪ Just sit right back
and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started
from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was
a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The Skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Five passengers
set sail that day ♪

♪ For a three hour tour ♪

♪ A three hour tour ♪

[thunder]

♪ The weather started
getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The Minnow would be lost
The Minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship set ground
on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With Gilligan ♪

♪ The Skipper too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ And the rest are here
on Gilligan's isle ♪

[theme music]

Just a little more,
Gilligan.

[huffing]

Good, good.
That's fine.

[panting]

There, that
ought to do it.

How you doin'
with the nails, Professor?

We'll know in
a few minutes, Skipper.

I made this from the outcropping
of ferrous oxide I found.

It looks good enough
to get rusty.

How about that. It's nothing
but the rock and a fire.

And the Professor
makes a.. Ooh! Ooh!

(Ginger)
'Gilligan?'

Let me see that.
Oh, not your finger, the nail.

Never mind.

- It's a nail, alright.
- Oh!

Well, let's
try it out.

[upbeat music]

- Ready, Gilligan?
- Ready.

- Hammer.
- Hammer.

- Nail.
- Nail.

- Plank.
- Plank.

Splinters. Ooh! Ooh!

Oh, I'll take it out
for you, Gilligan.

- It's alright, Ginger.
- I'm good at first aid.

- I used to go with a doctor.
- No kiddin'.

Actually he was kind
of a part-time doctor.

He practiced medicine at night
so he could pay his way

through medical school.

Oh, I got it.

Folks, this is the big moment.
Keep your fingers crossed.

If this nail works,
we can leave the island.

Maybe we need
a softer hammer.

Oh, Skipper.

You expect to get the Queen Mary
ready to sail in days?

We have to,
Mr. Howell.

The high tide maybe our last
chance to get off the island.

I know we'll do it.

The Professor's working on
a new formula for making nails.

I told him what was
wrong with the last one.

You told him?

Yeah. It broke when
he hammered it.

While the Professor
is working on the nails

I thought we'd get
the boat ready for launching.

Maybe, you two could
make some rope.

Thurston, that sounds like fun.
We'll make ropes out of vine.

Oh, good. That little old
vine-maker, me.

I do marvelous
imitations.

Gilligan, get another pole.
We can prop up this keel.

- Ooh!
- Watch your head, Skipper.

Thanks, Gilligan.
You get that pole.

Aye-aye, sir.

- How about this one, Skipper?
- Perfect. Now, get it in here.

On the double!

Oh!

Gilligan, will you go
help someone else?

Move!

Hi. Another nail?

Yes, new formula.
Less brittle.

Hope this one works.

Lot less brittle, alright.

Works fine if you
hold it this way.

Don't feel bad.
Maybe you invented noodles.

I know. Why don't I go
and help somebody else, huh?

- Hi, girls.
- Hi.

Hi! How'd the Professor's
new nail work out?

You can't use it to nail
anything together.

But it ought to make
a great Christmas ribbon.

We'll never
get off this island.

Don't talk like that
Mary Ann. Remember.

In our darkest hour
when all seems lost

somewhere in the fearsome
black of night.

Let us search
for that shining star

which will guide us out
of our desolation.

Gee, that was
a beautiful speech, Ginger.

- It's from my movie.
- What was the title?

That was the title.

Gilligan, would you get me some
more breadfruit for this batter?

Oh, I'll get it. Gilligan can
help you with the pancakes.

- Pancakes?
- Sure.

I mashed up breadfruit
and put in coconut milk

and wild duck eggs.
How does it taste?

Like breadfruit, coconut milk
and wild duck eggs.

If we only had
some maple syrup.

There's lots of trees
in the island.

- Maybe one is full of syrup.
- Good. Let's go look.

- Let's try this one here, huh?
- Alright.

- Mm!
- It's no good?

- Mm-mm.
- Oh!

It was so wise of you, Thurston
to insist the boat be repaired.

It won't be long now
before we're home.

And not a moment too soon.
I have already missed

board meetings of
of my corporations.

Or is it board meetings
of of my corporations?

Well, Thurston,
you do have problems.

It is rather difficult
being rich.

If it weren't for the money,
I'd rather be poor.

I must remember
to write that down.

Thurston, what do you suppose
those young people are doing?

- Mm! Sour.
- Yeah.

Well, that's perfectly obvious,
Lovey, they're kissing trees.

It's must be a new fad.
Oh, the younger generation.

They do seem to be
enjoying themselves.

Think I'll have a go
at it myself.

Oh, darling,
you're so modern.

Well?

There's a lot to be said
for the old-fashioned way.

- Mm! It's sweet.
- Yeah.

- Just like you, Gilligan.
- Oh, yeah.

- Yeah. Here comes the sap.
- Oh, here, here.

Here we go.

How's it going,
Professor?

Oh, oh. Well, I'll have to,
I'll have to wait till it..

...cools before
I try it.

I think it's amazing how you do
all those experiments

with such
shaky hands.

Well, they weren't shaky
until a second ago.

Oh! Maybe it's the heat
or something.

Yeah.

Skipper!

Skipper,
this nail's ready.

Good. Bring it over.
We'll try it out.

[explodes]

Well...at least we have a nail
for the th of July.

Two days left to float her
and I still haven't got

the right formula.

Professor, I guess
we're licked.

We'll need a miracle now
to get off this island.

[indistinct chatter]

- Hope you're all hungry.
- Lunch time!

- Oh, look.
- Well, look at this, pancakes.

- Isn't that wonderful?
- You're wonderful, ladies.

And Gilligan made
the syrup, too.

- Gilligan made it?
- Where did you get it?

- From a tree.
- Does it look good?

[indistinct chatter]

Well, ladies, here's
to a new taste treat.

[chuckles]

[chuckles]
Oh, Skipper.

[chuckles]

That's something I like,
syrup with a lot of body to it.

What are these?
Pancakes or yo-yos?

I can't cut this.

Yes, they seem to be
sticking a bit.

Gilligan, where did you
get this, this substance?

From a tree.

Well, it's something
like maple syrup.

I have seen brand new girdles
that weren't as snappy as this.

It's getting to be like glue.
Even worse.

Yes, it certainly is.
It's setting like cement.

Sure is, look.

Wait.

I just wonder.

Come on, follow me.

Really, Thurston,
such manners, eat and run.

Positively vulgar.

It works.

It works. It works.
It's waterproof.

I think the Professor's
flipped his lid.

- Are you alright, Professor?
- I'm fine. We're saved.

We better get in there
before he hurts himself.

[clamoring]

Gilligan, Gilligan, is there
anymore of this material around?

Yeah, trunks full.
I mean, tree trunks full.

You found the miracle we've been
looking for, Gilligan.

- You mean the syrup?
- Exactly.

It must be a combination
of rubber, chicle and resin

that bonded together
when you heated it.

It's a perfect cement
for repairing the boat.

We can patch up the Minnow
and catch that high tide.

Thanks to Gilligan's glue.

Right. It's permanent, it's
waterproof and it's powerful.

And it tastes good
on pancakes, too.

[all laugh]

Hey, how's it comin'?
Think it'll be ready?

- Just a moment, Gilligan.
- Do you think it'll work?

It'll be ready. Will you
stand back, thank you.

[chuckling]
Well, here goes.

We better let it set
for a few minutes, Skipper.

I'm glad I did something
right for a change.

Gilligan, you deserve
a reward for this.

Here, better keep this.

The Smithsonian
Institute may want it.

Well, golly thanks folks. This
is the happiest day of my life.

I don't deserve
all that credit.

And I wanna thank those who
really helped me.

Skipper, Professor, Ginger.

But most of all I'd like to
thank Mary Ann and her pancakes.

Gee Gilligan, you make me
homesick for Hollywood

and the Oscar awards.

- The patch ought to be ready.
- Let's find out.

It's permanent!
Absolutely permanent!

Girls, start packing
the provisions.

Tomorrow at high tide,
we shove off for home.

- Oh, hurry, let's go pack.
- Wait, here I come.

Skipper, be right back.

- Skipper?
- Yes, Gilligan.

Well, sir, well,
uh, I was wondering..

- Would you do me a favor?
- What is it?

- Well, I, well, I-I..
- Go on.

Can I help too, sir?

Why, certainly you can help,
little buddy.

You're my crew,
aren't you?

Yes, sir! Your whole crew,
sir. Yes, sir.

We're gonna need
new brushes for the glue.

Why don't you go and
get some palm leaves?

- Aye aye, sir.
- Ha ha ha.

Gilligan?

What are you hiding?

Me? Hiding? Where? What, what
hiding? Who? What, what hiding?

Skipper, I got a confession
to make. I got a stuck foot.

I thought so.

Please help me,
huh, Skipper?

Yes, Gilligan, I'll help you.
But, remember.

When you've done something
wrong, don't try to hide it.

I'll remember.

Well, Gilligan, you've got
to help, too.

Put your hand
on my shoulder.

- But..
- Put your hand on my shoulder!

Did you have glue
on your hand?

- On the sleeve, too.
- On the sleeve, too.

That glue went right
through my shirt!

Alright, come on
Gilligan! Heave, ho!

- Heave, ho!
- Heave, ho!

- Heave ho-o-o!
- Heave ho-o-o!

Oh! Gilligan.

You're getting it on my back.
But that's alright, thank you.

- That's very nice of you.
- You're welcome.

Let's try
and get up.

Together!

- What are you doing?
- Gotta get my shoe.

Never mind that!

You're right, I don't
need my shoe.

Where are you going now?

I'm gonna get the palm leaves
like you told me.

Gilligan, would you
get back here?

Well, at least
I'm closer to my shoe.

Gilligan!

We have got to be
calm and logical.

- Now, let's think.
- Right. Think.

I've got it.
What we need is leverage.

Yeah. Why don't you
grab the rail and push.

Good idea, Gilligan.

Lovey, I wonder where
everyone is.

Oh, there's the Captain
and Gilligan.

Arrgh!

(Gilligan)
'Mr. and Mrs. Howell?'

Look, Thurston,
they're playing charades.

You're so right, Lovey.
Oh, I must say, this is fun.

Now, fellas,
don't-don't tell me.

You're Egyptian
pictures on a tomb.

- No! We're stuck!
- No! We're stuck, we're stuck!

No, no! Alright,
you're Mount Rushmore.

Ah-ah, President, President!

[clamoring]

I see, yes, Lovey. They're
trying to give me a clue.

I think they said glue,
Thurston.

I believe
they're stuck!

(Thurston)
'Good heavens you're right.
They are stuck there by gum.'

Stuck by gum.
Did you hear that, Lovey?

Oh, you're so witty, darling!

Mr. Howell, will you
please listen?

Will you do something
to get us off of here?

Call the Professor!

Call somebody but get
something to help us with!

- Yes, yes, of course.
- Yes, we'll get the Professor.

Don't go away.

We hate to drop in without
an invitation, Professor

but this is terribly important.

It's about the Skipper and
Gilligan, the most fantastic

thing has happened.

What's happened?

They're at the beach.
On the boat.

On the boat? What's so
fantastic about that?

Well you don't understand,
they're on the boat.

They're against the boat.

They're attached to the boat,
they're even mounted there.

Ah, like the moose heads,
in Thurston's trophy room.


You've got to do something
to get them off.

You see, they're pasted
on the boat!

Oh! Well, that glue
is permanent.

There's nothing on the island
to dissolve it.

- Nothing?
- Nothing?

Do you know
what it would take?

It would take a polyester
derivative of an organic

hydroxide molecule!

Watch your language!
In the presence of a lady!

Forgive me. But,
let me put it this way.

In order to dissolve that glue,
I need an aromatic acetate.

[sniffing]

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, perfume!

Some perfumes are made
with that formula.

[gasps]
I have perfume, Professor.

Yes, so you do.
I'll go check the other girls.

- Now, let me see.
- Lovey, here's a nice--

Oh, Thurston.
That's an evening perfume.

You can't use that
until the sun goes down.

Oh, of course.
What am I thinking about?

Oh, Lovey, here's
a full one..

No, no, you men.
That's an indoor perfume.

Gilligan and the skipper
are definitely outdoor types.

Ah. This, this is
a lovely fragrance.

Not too heavy, not too light,
and just a hint of spice.

Darling, we're in a hurry.
how 'bout this one here with..

Oh, Thurston.

That's the one I used
to get you to propose to me.

- Uh, that's what did it?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, by all means,
we couldn't use that one.

I-I'd feel silly proposing
to that old boat.

- Ginger?
- In here, Professor.

Remember this dress?
I made it from..

Ginger, I've got to
sniff your perfume.

Oh, Professor.
On the day we're leaving?

Have you got any more of this?

Professor, I think
you've had enough.

I haven't got time to explain.
Where do you keep your perfume?

Behind my ears,
can't you tell?

No, no, where do you
keep the bottle?

Why, in my make-up case.

That sales girl was wrong. That
perfume doesn't make men wild.

It drives them
absolutely batty!

Skipper?

Go away Gilligan.

Don't bother me now.
I'm re-gluing the entire boat

board by board.

Gilligan!

Don't you realize that if
the Professor hadn't thought

of using Mrs. Howell's
perfume to dissolve this glue

you'd still have us
stuck to the boat.

You still smell
pretty, Skipper.

- You..
- Skipper, can I help? Huh?

- Alright, you can help.
- I'll do any thing you say.

- Alright, Gilligan.
- I'll glue and paint.

[clamoring]

Gilligan, cut that out.
You can help.

- Thank you, I appreciate it.
- I said you can help.

I want you to go
to the top of that hill

and keep a sharp lookout
for icebergs.

Aye, aye, aye, icebergs?
Skipper, we're in the tropics.

I know, that's why they're
hard to find. Now run along.

I don't know, Skipper.
I think if I go to the top--

Gilligan, if you open
your mouth once more..

Anything to say?

Run along.

Icebergs?

[instrumental music]

Hey, what are you doing here?

If I were you, I'd stay
away from me.

I'm nothing but trouble.
I try real hard and I want

to help, but somehow something
always goes wrong.

Except yesterday.
When I discovered

Gilligan's waterproof glue.

It sticks the pancake to the
plate with a grip of steel. See?

What happened to
the grip of steel?

Oh my gosh. Gilligan's
waterproof glue is permanent

but only temporarily.

And that means when the boat
is way out at sea..

Oh!

Oh! Bye!

Wait. Wait. Wait!

Skipper. Be high tide
in about a half an hour.

We're ready to launch.

Alright, girls, we're ready to
shove off. Mr. and Mrs. Howell.

- Skipper, where's Gilligan?
- Don't worry, he'll be here.

Well, goodbye, island.
Hope to see you again sometime.

What a place
to make a movie.

Don't go away,
I may be back.

Just a moment, captain.
You can't just jump on a boat

and sail away!

Why not?

Without a launching
ceremony? I mean, really.

He obviously isn't
Annapolis, dear.

No salt with a shaker would sail
without a launching ceremony!

Now, look here,
Mr. Howell, I've take--

Captain. I must warn you.
Mr. Howell can be very stubborn.

Alright,
but hurry it up.

Thank you. This way
for the launching.

Here we are.

Ladies and gentlemen

we're gathered her for this
festive occas..

Good heavens,
where's the champagne?

Champagne?

Domestic will do
for a launching.

- Please, we're gonna miss..
- 'Skipper! Skipper!'

- Not now, Gilligan.
- No, but, Skipper, but..

Not now, Gilligan, we're
having a launching ceremony.

Professor, Mary Ann, Ginger
somebody listen--

- Later.
- The boat's gonna sink.

- Irresponsible rumor.
- Gilligan, will you be quiet?

The glue won't hold!

Come on. We're gonna
miss the tide.

Let's get down to the boat,
so we can get on board.

Stop, stop!
Wait, wait!

Skipper, can I ask
you something?

In all my life, have I ever done
anything that turned out right?

- No, you haven't.
- Then believe me.

The glue,
it won't hold.

If you launch the boat,
it'll sink.

Sink? Nonsense.

Why, the old Minnow
is just as solid as a rock.

[thud]

See? The glue, won't last
more than...three days!

- What's happening to the boat?
- See?

Get away from the boat!
Abandon ship! Get away, folks!

Gilligan, come back here!

Don't worry, Skipper.
I'll hold it together for you.

- 'Skipper!'
- Don't worry, Lovey.

- 'Boat's falling apart.'
- Get off the boat, Gilligan!

[all shouting]

(Ginger)
Gilligan, look out.

- Be careful.
- Please be careful.

Oh, heavens!

Gilligan, get out of there.

-'Get out, Gilligan.'
- Skipper. Oh!

Well, at least I saved
the wheel, Skipper.

Oh, Gilligan!

- Skipper.
- Gilligan. Sit down a minute.

- But Skipper..
- I wanna have a little talk.

- Okay, Skipper.
- Gilligan, this is important.

I know that I yell at you a lot.
But it's nice to have this chat.

Do you realize, if it hadn't
been for you, we might have been

at sea when that
boat fell apart.

- I'm glad we weren't.
- You do a lot of things wrong.

But you're always trying your
best, and that's important.

- Thanks, Skipper.
- I always try to remember that.

Now, what is it, little buddy,
that you were trying to tell me?

You're sitting on
a paintbrush full of glue.

No!

Skipper, look on
the bright side.

The bright side?

Nobody can ever pull
a chair out from under you.

You've done it again.

♪ They're here for
a long long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make
the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate
and his Skipper too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others
comfortable ♪

♪ In the tropic island nest ♪

♪ No phone, no lights,
no motor car ♪

♪ Not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like Robinson Crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here
each week my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From seven
stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on Gilligan's Isle ♪
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