01x20 - Miss Solar System

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Jetsons". Aired: September 23, 1962 – March 17, 1963.*
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Cartoon show features the Jetson family living in a utopian future where people live in housing in the sky, work a three-day workweek, drive aerocars that look like flying saucers and have incredible conveniences that leave them with plenty of leisure time.
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01x20 - Miss Solar System

Post by bunniefuu »

Meet George Jetson

His boy, Elroy

Daughter, Judy

Jane, his wife

I'm sorry, Sally. None of these
new dresses seem to suit me.

Let me show you
our new fall line, dear.

Fall line? But it's almost spring.

No, this is our Martian fall line.

Oh, well. Perhaps I may find something.

Oh, dear. Much too daring.

No. I saw this in a Paris shop
this morning.

No, no, no. Too complicated.

Oh, Sally, it's beautiful.
Now, this is what I meant.

And we have a novel accessory that goes
with that dress. I'll show you how it works.

I think I'll call Gloria
and see if she likes my new dress.

Gloria. Calling Gloria.

Hi, Jane.

Can you come over for a minute, Gloria?
I've got a new dress to show you.

Oh, step out so I can see it, Jane.

You know I can't stand the suspense.
Show me. Show me now.

- I'll show you as soon as you get here.
- I can't wait that long.

Oh, Gloria, you only live next door.
It'll just take you a second to get here.

I don't care if I see your
dress or not.

I'll be right over.

It looks gorgeous on you, Jane.

It's out of this world.

It's a Pierre Martian original.

They were closing them out
at the Satellite Shoppe.

You really like it, Gloria?

Jane, it's you.
Walk in it.

Only 10.98 for the dress
and $50 for the extension cord.

- A steal.
- I hope George thinks so.

He hasn't seen it yet.
He and Elroy are watching TV.

Then why don't you surprise them.
Make one of those big dramatic entrances.

Good idea. Just let me put on
a little matching makeup.

Just a touch of green lipstick.

Think wild! Drink Cosmo Cola!

One gulp and you're in orbit!

Cosmo Cola has a 200 megaton rating!

Hey, what happened?

Cough up some money, Pop.

Oh, boy, this pay TV has gotta go.

And if it's transportation you need...

...let Rent A Rocket
put you in the pilot seat.

Next time you have business on the moon,
remember, Rent A Rocket!

Well, that was a short trip.

I wonder if they
gave him his money back.

It's the Fred Solarvan Show!

Oh, boy! I like Fred Solarvan.
Don't you, Pop?

Yeah. He's like a relative
who comes over once a week.

And here he is, your favorite relative
who comes over once a week:

Fred Solarvan!

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

We really have some wonderful
guests tonight.

I'd like to start off by introducing...

...one of your favorite foreign movie stars.

We all know her name.
The glamorous...

...Gina Lollojupiter!

- Hey, Pop, it's Gina Lollojupiter!
- Gina Lollojupiter?

- Elroy, what are you doing here?
- Aw, Gina-whiz.

- Get going on those homework tapes.
- But, Pop--

Elroy, come on now. Come on.
Go, go, go!

Okay, I'm going, going, going.

Oh, boy! I got to see Gina in 3-D.

You look lovely tonight, Gina.

Thank you, Fred.

It is a pleasure to be back here on Earth.

Gina, I understand you will be
appearing tomorrow night...

...at Venus City,
the Miss Solar System beauty Contest.

That is right, Fred. There will be loads
of lovely girls competing for the title.

The show will be on TV, you know...

...sponsored by the
Spacely Sprocket company.

Good old Spacely, that's my boss!

I hope to contribute a little something
to the contest festivities.

Is she kidding? A little something?

Oh, I better put her back
on the screen.

Now, Gina, have you any advice
for the girls in the beauty contest?

Well, they should understand
the proper way of walking.

- Walking is very important?
- Oh, yes, Fred.

It can mean the difference
between winning and losing.

Here, I'll show you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
I see what you mean.

Oh, wait till George
sees this far-out frock.

Oh, I know he'll love it.

It's your dream girl walking

Hello

Hi, there, honey.
It's me, Janey.

George? Wake up, dear.

George?

George?

- Hi, Gina.
- "Hi, Gina"?

Well! Well, what a pleasant surprise.

I was just watching the
Stuntley-Dinkley Report.

Don't you notice anything about me?

Sure, I do. You lost weight.
You gained weight.

I know. You had a haircut.

Whatever you did,
you're almost good enough...

...for the Miss Solar
System beauty contest.

Almost good enough?

- Well, I like that.
- And I like you.

Now, take off that old housecoat
and put on something nice...

...and we'll go get
some chicken chow mein capsules.

How does that strike you?

How's this strike you?

What did I say? What did I say?

Oh, don't cry, Jane.
Frank is the same with me.

He and his Miss Solar System!

I've got a good mind
to enter the contest myself.

- That would teach him.
- Yeah, that would really--

Say, remember that picture you took
at the New Year's Eve party...

...in that tantalizing
masquerade costume?

I know the one. I still have it.

George wanted me to tear it up.
He said it was too--

I think I put it in this drawer.

Yes. Here it is.

Oh, it's a real sizzler, all right, Jane.

Why don't you send it in to the contest
committee just for fun.

Oh, I couldn't. Me, a housewife,
compete against all those lovely young--

Wonderful. Marvelous.

Let's really hear it for...

...Gina Lollojupiter.

More! Give us more! More!

That settles it! Where's that picture?

I'll show him who can be glamorous!

''Miss Solar System,
brought to you by Spacely Sprockets.''

Oh, you know, I've always wanted
to be a television sponsor.

You can cause so much panic.

I think I'll start with Jetson.

He should be working at his desk.

Not there. I bet I know where he is.

Just as I thought,
at the water cooler again.

And now, fellow employees, I would like
to read you my latest company bulletin.

It's titled "101 Ways to Goof Off
at the Office and Still Collect Overtime."

Jetson! What are you doing?

Goofing off, sir!

- Report to my office!
- Yes, sir.

Oh, boy. The boss sure sounded mad.

You called, sir?

Why? Why?
Why do I put up with you?

I don't know, sir. I mean, sorry, sir.

Listen, Jetson,
don't make any plans tonight.

You're going to a beauty contest.

Oh, please, Mr. Spacely,
I look terrible in a bikini.

Don't be funny, Jetson. You're going
to be the assistant to the judge.

I am the judge.

After all, as sponsor, it's my duty
to see that the girls get a fair hearing.

Or should I say, ''viewing''?

Oh, boy. I'll pick you up at 7.

Oh, I'm sorry. I can't make it, sir.
You see, Janey's mad at me...

...so I bought some theater tickets
to make up.

You henpecked husbands are all alike!

Why can't you learn
how to handle your wife?

Pardon me. Pardon me.

- Yes?
- Mrs. Spacely's on the line, sir.

- On the line, sir.
- Mrs. Spacely--!

Okay, put her on.

What takes you so long to answer?

Well, you see, snookums,
I was discussing our production quotas.

Don't hand me that.

It's that beauty contest again, isn't it?

Have you decided on the judge?
And it better not be you.

Me? Judge? Oh, of course not, dear.

In fact, Jetson and I were just going over
a list of candidates. Weren't we, Jetson?

- Yes, judge.
- Did he say, ''judge''?

No, I said, ''Oh, fudge.''

I mean, don't judge him hastily,
Mrs. Judge-- Mrs. Spacely.

Imagine. Sponsoring a beauty contest
at your age.

- I've a good mind to go home to Mother.
- Yes, dear.

And you forgot to turn off the sonic sudser
when you did the dishes.

- Yes, dear.
- Why wasn't the linen changed?

- And the Food-a-Cycle cleaned?
- Yes, dear.

Yes, dear...

Housework! Nothing but housework!

Now I've got this whole darn
living room to do.

I'm just a drudge.

That's all I am.
An underpaid drudge.

Pick up your feet, please.

Pick up your feet, please.

Thank you. Thank you.

Hot coffee. Hot coffee.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

Come in.

Oh, Jane, honey, the mailman
just left this special-delivery tape.

It's from the Miss Solar System contest.

Oh, the entry committee. Well, they
must have gotten the picture I sent in.

Oh, hurry, Jane. Play it.
The suspense is k*lling me.

All right. All right, Gloria.

Dear 36-26-36, the contest committee
has received your photograph...

...and may we say--

Therefore, by unanimous consent,
you are hereby invited...

...to compete for the title
of Miss Solar System.

Hear that, Jane?
You're in! You're in!

But, Gloria, I don't think
I can go through with it.

First prize is a million dollars.

I've changed my mind.
I'm going through with it.

And besides,
George needs to be taught a lesson.

And in edition to the pinup category...

...all contestants are
required to participate

in a-- And we use the term loosely--

A talent contest.

Talent? Talent?

- But what can I do?
- Fake it, baby. Fake it.

See you tonight in Venus City.
Signed--

Oh, don't worry, Jane.
You can always sing.

I don't know.

What am I going to tell George?
He'd be furious if he knew.

Oh, relax. We'll think of something.

It's me, dear, your little space bunny.
I'm back in the hutch.

I've got a surprise. I picked
up theater tickets for tonight, and--

Tonight? But, Jane,
we've got that big PTA meeting.

PTA?

Oh, oh, yes. Yes, the PTA.

Oh, I'm sorry, George.
I won't be able to make it.

A very important meeting. We're discussing
how to combat delinquency on the moon.

- But the tickets!
- I've got to get dressed for the meeting.

If you're hungry, there's
cold-cut capsules on the table.

- And, George, don't wait up.
- But the tickets!

Cold-cut capsules?
Well, that does it.


First, I'll get cleaned up a bit.

I'll shave, comb my hair,
brush my teeth.

I guess I should have
this outfit pressed.

Let her go to the PTA meeting.

I am going to a beauty contest.

Have tape measure, will travel!

Well, we're almost there, Mr. Spacely.

Jetson, how many times
have I got to tell you?

Call me ''Judge.''

But, Your Honor,
supposing your wife sees you on TV.

You'll be another case
for Dr. Ken Spacey.

I've already taken care of that.

You've heard of the mystery guest.
Well, meet the mystery judge.

She'll never spot me
as the mystery judge.

Nobody will know my real identity,
eh, Jetson?

No, Your Honor, who are you?

Got you fooled too, haven't I?

As Yogi Bear would say,
''You're smarter than the average boss.''

Hey, there it is.
Venus City Convention Hall.

''Welcome to the
Miss Solar System Contest.''

Oh, boy!
What a night this is gonna be.

Yes, Earth people,
it is a glorious night here...

...at the Miss Solar System Contest.

Oh, and there's movie queen
Gina Lollojupiter...

...trying to slip in unnoticed.

Hey, you forgot the searchlights!

Hello, hello, darlings!

I Iove you. I Iove you all, darlings!

What did I tell you, friends?
She's just like the girl next door.

Real humility, real humility.

Look who's coming this way.
It's our contest judge...

...who prefers to remain anonymous.
Good evening, Judge Anonymous.

Good evening. Okay, Jetson.

The judge would like to thank
Spacely Sprockets...

...for the privilege
of appearing tonight.

Spacely, the favorite sprocket
of the sprocket lovers everywhere.

Make mine Spacely.
S-P-A-L-C-E!

You idiot. You spelled it wrong.

Come on, the girls are waiting.

What seat number? What seat number?

- Judge's box, please.
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Oh, boy. How about this, sir?
A seat right on the stage.

I'd like to be closer.

Scorecards! Get your scorecards!
All the vital statistics!

Pardon me, judge.
May I have your autograph?

A pleasure, my dear.

Love and kisses, the mystery judge.

- Thank you!
- Mine too.

Oh, this is the life, eh, Jetson?

Hope you don't mind
the same message, sweetie pie--

''Sweetie pie''?
You interplanetary worm.

Oh, how are you, Mrs. Judge--?
Mrs. Spacely!

Where did you--?
I mean, where--? Hello.

Quiet, you assistant worm.

Ladies and gentlemen...

...the Miss Solar System Contest
is about to begin...

...but first,
a word from our sponsor.

Help!

Thank you, Mr. Spacely.

Just wait till I get you home, buster.

Take over for me, Jetson.

I've just resigned from the bench.

Head them off at the dressing room, men.
The mystery judge rides again.

And this court is now in session.

And here they are,
the stunning contestants.

Let's give a great big welcome
to Miss Saturn.

Notice her native bathing suit, folks.
All those lovely rings!

Ring-a-ding-ding!

And here is the one and only...

...Miss Mars!

Take me to your leader!

Here we have Miss Big Dipper!

And Miss Satellite!

I'd sure like to go into orbit with her.

And now let's say hello to Miss Comet!

What an entrance!

Oh, boy! My mother warned me
about those fast women.

And now, last but not least,
a very late entry from Earth...

...Miss Western Hemisphere!

That's what l'd call
a well-grouped flock of molecules.

Something about her rings a bell.

And now we'll begin our talent contest.

First, Miss Saturn,
who majors in space literature,

will give us a reading...

...from one of her favorite
English classics. Miss Saturn!

Twinkle, twinkle, little star

How I wonder what you are, darling

Up above the world so high

Like a 50-carat blue-white diamond
In the sky

Thank you, darlings.

Great! Wonderful! Encore!

And now here's Miss Mars
with a musical specialty.

The Galaxy Concerto by lrving Galaxy.

What a gal!

She's done everything but whistle ''Dixie.''

Very talented!

I wonder what she does for an encore.

Here's our next talented contestant,
Miss Western Hemisphere!

Thank you.

It's a pleasure to be here
in friendly Venus City.

I hope some day you people
will come down to Earth.

That voice, I'm sure I've heard it before.

Oh, no, just wishful thinking, I guess.

I'd like to sing an old American folk ballad
that's been handed down for generations.

Hit it, fellas!

What a doll!

She's got everything.

Too bad all girls aren't like her.

Oh, well.
Somebody's gotta be in the PTA.

It's planetary pandemonium up here,
ladies and gentlemen!

Miss Western Hemisphere
has just stolen the show!

Here she comes to receive
the crown from the judge!

Of course, before we crown you,
you must remove your mask.

- Jane!
- George!

Oh, honey, I thought that you
told me when you came in...

...that you were going down to the....

Beauty contest ends in uproar!

Winner and judge disqualified!

Miss Mars awarded title!

Read all about it!

Now, that's what I call injustice.

Taking away your title just because
the judge happens to be married to you.

But remember this, crown or no crown,
you'll always be my beauty queen.

Oh, George, that's poetry.
Sheer poetry.

Well, that settles it.

- Settles what?
- This.

- Gina?
- Right.

I'm resigning from the
Gina Lollojupiter Fan Club.

Help! Help!

Jane, stop this crazy thing!

Jane!

Help, Jane!
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