Grandpa, this isn't
going to hurt, is it?
I told you, Herman...
I've done it a hundred times to
you before and it never bothered you.
You're just nervous 'cause
I ran out of anesthetic.
I guess if it's got to come
off, it's got to come off.
I'll just there take a little
off the top and trim the sides.
Hey, Pop!
Eddie, don't you
ever do that, Son...
when Grandpa is
giving me a haircut.
He might snip my bangs and
spoil my Steve McQueen image.
I'm sorry, Pop.
I just want to show
you this pamphlet.
The whole town is having
Frontier Days this weekend.
Yes, I read about
that in the newspaper.
They're having a parade,
rodeo and contests.
And all the people are dressing
themselves up as pioneers and cowboys.
It's all set, Pop.
I entered your name in
the bucking bronco contest.
Bucking bronco contest? Sure.
I'm gonna be so
proud of you, Pop.
I've been telling all the
guys around the rodeo...
that you're the greatest
rider in the world.
Well, shuckies.
That was right
smart of you, partner.
Grandpa.
Hank, it looks like...
we've got some pretty safe
entries in the bronco busting event.
They're all amateurs.
But I am a little concerned
about this fella, Herman Munster.
Yeah.
He's the guy whose kid was here bragging
about what a great rider his pop is.
That's right.
And we can't take any
chances of anybody...
walking off with that $500
prize money we're offering.
So just to be on
the safe side...
let's put this Munster
character on Volcano.
Volcano? That's not a
horse, it's a time b*mb.
He'll wreck this guy Munster.
So what? If anything
should go wrong...
we'll return his entry
fee to his widow.
Herman...
you on a bucking bronco?
Why, you couldn't
even ride a kiddie car.
Yes, I could.
I used to ride
Eddie's all the time.
But, Uncle Herman,
riding a bucking bronco...
is one of the most dangerous
sports in the whole world.
You might get k*lled.
Herman, it'd be just like you to pull
a dirty trick like that on me, you bum.
You don't even have enough
life insurance to keep me in cigars.
Golly, when Eddie first mentioned
the idea of bronco busting to me...
it sounded kind
of like a fun thing.
But, dear, the last time you
were on a merry-go-round horse...
you had to wear a safety belt.
I don't want you to go through with this.
You'll just go out and get yourself k*lled.
You're only 152 years old.
And I won't have you cut
down in the prime of life.
Gee, dear, I promised
Eddie. He's counting on me.
What can I say
to him? It's simple.
You just go up to your son...
and tell him that his daddy
is a no-good, rotten coward.
I can't do that.
Boys don't have many heroes left
that they can look up to these days.
If I let him down, all he
has left is Smokey the Bear.
Herman, why don't you
use child psychology?
All you have to do is talk
to Eddie in such a way...
that he'll be the one who suggests
that you drop out of the rodeo.
That's a good idea.
That's just what I'll do.
But instead of being blunt
and direct, I'll be subtle...
and talk to Eddie on
his own mental level.
Yeah. And if you can't quite
get up to it, do the best you can.
And once upon a time,
in this big, big castle...
there lived this
very brave knight...
named Sir Herman the Great.
Gee, Pop, he had
the same name as you.
Well, well, what do
you know about that?
Anyway, in a nearby cave...
there lived this very
mean, mean dragon.
What did he do that was so bad?
Well, he went around
abducting young maidens...
and pillaging the countryside
and terrorizing villages...
and doing other naughty things.
And everyone said that Sir
Herman the Great was the only one...
that was brave enough and strong
enough to vanquish the dragon.
There's a white knight
on television like that.
Except, all he ever does is
chase dirt out of blue jeans.
Anyway, as Sir Herman the
Great was starting out on his way...
to vanquish the dragon, his
wife and his father-in-law...
and his niece came
running out and cried:
"O brave Sir Herman, prithee
do not go forth this day...
for the dragon might slay thee."
Boy, they sure talked
corny in those days.
Well, anyway...
although Sir Herman was on
his way to slay the cruel dragon...
he thought it over
and realized...
that he could be
eaten up by the dragon.
And if the dragon ate him up...
then there would
be no one left...
to take care of his little
home and his little family.
Now, what do you
think about that?
I think the knight was a
rotten, chicken, yellow coward.
Oh.
You do, huh? Yeah.
I think you ought to sue the
guy who made up that story...
for calling the
knight by your name.
For you'd never chicken
out like that. Would you, Pop?
Gadzooks, no.
I bet tomorrow you'll be the
bravest guy in the whole rodeo.
Yeah, sure.
Well, good night, Son.
Goodnight, Pop.
If I had my way, I'd just as
soon chase dirt out of blue jeans.
Hey, get a load of Volcano.
He's sure calmed
down since yesterday.
You still think...
we ought to put this
Munster guy in that horse?
Sure, why not?
But tell the ambulance
attendants...
that the minute he hits the ground,
to throw a sheet over him quick.
We don't want his broken
bones to dampen the festivities.
♪♪
Spot.
Spot, get out in the yard.
I don't want you in the
kitchen, always underfoot.
Now scat.
Sorry, Spot.
Aunt Lily...
is Uncle Herman going to ride
that bronco in the rodeo today?
Yes, Marilyn.
I did everything I could
to talk him out of it.
But he said a knight
should be proud...
to ride forth and slay
dragons for his son.
I guess he's been reading
Prince Valiant again.
Where's Uncle Herman
now? Down in the dungeon.
He is so nervous and so tense.
He asked Grandpa to do
something to relax his nerves.
That is a good idea.
I just hope he
doesn't overdo it.
The last time
Grandpa relaxed him...
his nerves were so loose...
that we had to call in a
piano tuner to tighten them up.
Grandpa, have you found
anything yet to make me brave?
When I think of riding a
bucking bronco, I'm petrified.
What are you knocking? Some
of my best friends are petrified.
No, I mean scared.
Haven't you got any
brave pills I can take?
Well...
I made these in the Middle
Ages for Richard the Lion-Hearted.
Did they work? Did they work?
I'll have you know that before he took
these, he was known as Chicken Dickie.
Shall I take some of these? No.
It says they're good only if
you're going on a crusade...
and I don't think you wanna
take that much time off from work.
Grandpa, you gotta give me
something to make me a hero.
I got to ride that horse in
an hour. Herman, let's face it.
A nice, handsome,
pleasant man you are...
but with all the pills in
the world, a hero you ain't.
What am I going to do?
It just came to me. Herman...
now, supposing the horse you
rode today was gentle and kind...
and you and he had sort of...
an under-the-table deal.
That's fine, but I'm not very
proficient at talking to horses.
You're very proficient at
talking to me, aren't you?
Yeah. Supposing I
turn myself into a horse.
You mean you would be the
bucking bronco I'd ride at the rodeo?
Grandpa, that's a wizard idea.
"Astronauts...
"avocados...
"aborigines...
animals."
No.
What's the matter?
This animal bottle is so
old, the label has fallen off.
Well, I'll just have
to take my chances...
and hope I come up with a horse.
Mom, where's Pop?
It's time to leave for the rodeo
and we don't wanna be late.
He's still down in the
dungeon with Grandpa.
I hope they're not making up another
batch of Dad's old-fashioned plasma.
Now, Eddie, don't get
impatient. I'm sure...
Aunt Lily, I could have
sworn I heard a goat.
So did I.
We're getting so nervous that
we're starting to hear things.
Grandpa.
Grandpa.
You must've taken the wrong pill.
You're not a horse, you're a goat.
I can tell because
horses don't have horns.
Don't just sit there,
Herman. Give me another pill.
Yeah.
Here, try this one.
Well, Grandpa, that's no good.
I can't ride a skunk in a rodeo.
Shut up and try another
pill before I let you have it.
Listen.
Now I can swear I
hear a pig grunting.
A pig?
You don't suppose they're having a
barbecue at a time like this, do you?
Grandpa. Herman.
You'll be late for the rodeo.
We'll be right with you, Lily.
Grandpa, now look
what you've done.
You've gone and
made a pig of yourself.
Another pill.
Grandpa, you're beautiful.
I ask you...
is this a horse,
or is this a horse?
Grandpa.
Howdy, folks? I'm all
ready for the rodeo.
Gee, Pop, you look neat.
Just like the cowboys in
that cigarette commercial.
Thank you, Son.
Herman, please call this off.
If you get up on a
bucking bronco...
you'll just make a fool of
yourself and probably get k*lled.
You don't know anything
about being a cowboy.
Shucks. What you
talking about, ma'am?
I'm a rooting, tooting...
fancy booting,
two-g*n sh**ting...
p*stol-packing poppa
from Possum Prairie.
Dear, will you help me?
Marilyn.
Eddie, can you help your father
pry himself loose from his drawers?
Thank you.
I guess John Wayne and
those other fellows must...
grease their thumbs
before they try that.
I guess if we're going,
we better get started.
Where's Grandpa?
Grandpa just had a few things
he wanted to take care of...
and he'll meet us at the rodeo.
You think you'll have any trouble
with that wild mustang, Pop?
I don't think so, Son.
I'm gonna handle that critter like
he was a member of my own family.
It certainly was nice of Uncle
Herman to get us this private box.
Well, we Munsters always
feel more at home in a box.
Boy, look at that guy.
Boy, that bull
really flipped him.
You poor man.
They really put on a good
show here, don't they?
Yes, I've never
seen that trick before.
Gee, I wonder where Pop is.
The bronco busting comes up next.
Well, I hope it's the bronco that
gets busted and not your father.
Everybody's checked in for the bronco
busting but that Munster character.
Maybe he heard he was riding
Volcano and pulled up stakes.
I wouldn't blame him.
Hi, there. I'm Herman Munster...
Bronco Buster.
Hiya, Munster.
Will you look at that guy?
He's tall in the saddle and
he ain't even on a horse.
Get a load of that face.
He must've gone through
a buffalo stampede.
I didn't think there were that
many buffalo left in America.
Excuse me, but I was
wondering if you could tell me...
what chute I'm
supposed to come out of?
Come out of Chute 4. Number 4.
Thank you very much.
I'll be ready and waiting.
We better not put Volcano in
that chute until the last minute.
If Munster gets a look
at that local mustang,
he'll know we pulled
a ringer on him.
Grandpa?
Hey, Grandpa, where are you?
Grandpa, it's me.
Sorry, I thought you
were my grandfather.
Over here, Herman.
There you are.
Oh, my.
What a beautiful
saddle you're wearing.
Never mind, Herman.
What's the scoop?
I'll be coming out of Chute Number
4. Now, make sure and be there.
Got you.
Get away from me, girlie.
I'm old enough
to be your father.
Yes, siree. Look at that
boy go. Here we go now!
Stay right in there, boy.
And now for the
bucking bronco contest.
The first rider to
go 10 seconds...
gets a $500 prize.
Mom, this is Pop's event.
Out of Chute Number 3,
it's Tex Rogers on Midnight.
Here he comes, folks.
And there he goes.
Oh, dear.
Eddie, you never should
have gotten your father into this.
This is worse than the time you
talked him into riding that surfboard...
and he knocked the end
off that new steel pier.
The time was five and
three-tenth seconds.
Now out of Chute 5, it's
Hugh Hobson on Nasty Nellie.
Ride it, cowboy, ride it.
Where do you suppose Grandpa is?
I don't know. He's never
around when you need him.
I suppose he's horsing
around someplace.
Hey, you stupid
nag, get out of here.
That's for Volcano. Get out.
Better get ready, Munster.
The way they're throwing them
off, you'll be up pretty soon now.
Yes, siree. I hope they give
me a horse with some spirit.
I'd hate to have to ride
some tired old grandfather.
Hey, you.
Where do you think you're
going? Into Stall Number 4.
My son-in-law's gonna
ride me in the next event.
Come on, b*at it, Pops.
Keep your hands off, buster.
I'll get you for cruelty to animals.
Hey, Charlie.
Got an old stew-bum here
that thinks he's a horse.
Come on. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
It wore off. I'm not
a horse anymore.
Of course you're not a horse.
You're Snow White and
we're the Seven Dwarfs.
Get out of here and
don't come back.
The time was five and
three-tenth seconds.
So far we have no winner.
Our final contestant,
coming out of Chute 4...
is Herman Munster on Volcano.
Oh, boy, that's Pop.
I can't bear to look.
Volcano, nice Volcano.
Volcano, that was a neat name
you picked for yourself, Grandpa.
It makes you sound as
though you're gonna be rough.
Grandpa.
Grandpa, it's me, Herman.
I get it.
No conversation. You
wanna make it look good.
Grandpa.
Grandpa.
Grandpa, will you watch
it? You almost threw me off.
It's all right to
ham it up but...
Attaboy, Pop.
Stay with him, Uncle Herman.
Hang on! Hang on!
Grandpa, will you watch it?
Grandpa.
I can't bear to look.
Grandpa, you big showoff.
Will you listen to me?
Ride him, Pop!
All right, Grandpa, if
you wanna play that way...
two can play that
way as well as one.
Uncle Herman is certainly showing
the spectators what he's made of.
Yes, and I hope we
can replace the parts.
The winner of the bucking
bronco contest is Herman Munster!
Herman, I'm so proud of you.
I'm just bat bumps all over.
Boy, Pop, you're the neatest
guy in the whole world.
Shucks, Eddie.
'Twern't nothing any other
dad wouldn't have done.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, it
becomes my great honor to present...
this beautiful trophy
and the $500...
to the winner of the bronco
busting contest, Mr. Herman Munster.
You know, your time was a
new world's record, Mr. Munster.
Before accepting this trophy, is
there anything you'd like to say?
Yes, I would. Thank you.
First of all, it
was quite a ride.
And I think that under
the circumstances...
some credit should
go to the horse.
Now, isn't that the gesture
of a truly great sportsman...
giving credit to the horse.
Take a bow, Grandpa.
Herman, we're
all so proud of you.
Come on, Grandpa, take a
bow. What are you waiting for?
Grandpa, where were you
when Uncle Herman was riding?
Yes, Grandpa. Where
were you when I was...
What's going on, Grandpa?
Why did Herman faint?
Lily, I never thought I'd say
anything nice about my son-in-law...
but that big coward is the
greatest hero I ever saw.
Photographer, come and
take his picture anyway.
He looks more natural that way.