03x10 - The Agreement

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♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪
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Do you like this dress, George?

It's great. Great.

Well, how about this one?

Fantastic.

Uh, well, maybe I
should wear this.

Yeah!

That would be nice on you.

George!

I said it's nice!

What's that supposed to be?

I need your help.

What do you want me to
wear to Lionel's wedding?

Nothing.

Well, okay, but it's going
to shock the minister.

You know what I mean.
Anything's all right with me.

I know what you mean, all right.

You mean you still
don't like the idea

of Lionel marrying Jenny Willis.

I agreed to it, didn't I?

Sure. The same way you
agreed to go to the dentist.

And don't forget to order
your suit for the wedding.

I got plenty of time.

The wedding's only a
couple of weeks away.

Yeah, but anything could
happen between now and then.

Like what?

Well, Lionel could
come to his senses.

George, for Lionel's sake, try
to be happy about the wedding.

Please?

Okay, I'll be happy. See?

Good.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Now, tell me honestly.
Which dress do you like best?

The blue one.

Thank you, George.

There isn't a blue one!

That's why I like it.

Good morning.

Hi, Mr. Bentley. Come in.

Thank you.

What do you want?

I've got something
for you, Mr. J.

Something for me? What is it?

I haven't the foggiest idea.

How can you give me something
if you don't know what it is?

The postman popped this
into my mailbox by mistake.

Oh. It's from my lawyer.

Just some papers for the store.

Oh! What a coincidence.

I just heard from my lawyer too.

Oh, nothing serious, I hope.

Oh, it was about my will.

Oh, I hate thinking
about wills and dying.

Oh, no, I'm making out
what they call a living will.

You see,

I think a man's got a right
to die. Don't you, Mr. J?

Only if he's been
tried and found guilty.

I can't stand the thought
of my lying there paralyzed,

my eyes staring
vacantly into space.

Look, if you can't handle
your liquor, don't drink.

Are you talking about people
being kept alive on machines?

Exactly.

So my living will states

that if ever I am in a
hopeless condition,

I'd rather be taken
off the machines,

even if it hastens
the moment of death.

[HUMMING TRAGIC VIOLIN MUSIC]

I just wouldn't want
to be a vegetable.

Don't worry about it, Bentley.

I'll be happy to come over
and pull your plug anytime.

Thank you, Mr. J.
You're a true friend.

Oh, I say, what lovely dresses.

Oh, they're for
Lionel's wedding.

Which one would you choose?

Well, it would depend on
what shoes I was wearing.

Oh!

It's a funny thing,

but my lawyer was just
talking about weddings

and the sad case of Mr. Heywood.

Who's Mr. Heywood?

He's this very
poor oral surgeon.

That is, he's not
a poor surgeon.

He's a very good surgeon
who lost all his money.

Oh. How'd he do that? Gambling?

No. It was the Heywood curse.

What's the Heywood curse?

Mrs. Heywood.

She took him for
everything he had.

Poor guy must have
been a real sucker, then.

He should have known what
she was before he married.

Ah, but she seemed
such a sweet young thing.

Yeah, that's the worst kind.

What do you mean,
"the worst kind"?

You talk like all
women are gold diggers.

Not all of them. Some
women marry poor guys.

Like I did.

That's right.

And if I'd had all
my money then,

I'd have looked at you twice.

What?

Oh, just kidding, Weezy.

Of course, if Heywood
had listened to my lawyer,

he'd still be a rich man today.

You mean he could
have stopped his wife

from ripping him off?

Certainly, by signing a
prenuptial agreement.

What's a prenuptial agreement?

It keeps them from
going to bed together.

No.

It simply spells out
what will happen

in the event of a divorce,

how much the lady will get.

Or rather how
much she won't get.

Oh, that's cold.

No, it ain't. It's very cool.

Yes, my lawyer
thinks it's hot stuff too.

Of course, it can't take away a
woman's right to claim support.

But it can take away her right
to claim seven cleaning stores.

What are you talking about?

Nothing, Weezy, nothing.

That's all there is to it?

All I do is get her to sign

one of those agreements
before she gets married?

That's all.

Thanks, Bentley! It's
been nice talking to you.

Pity you can't stay.

[LAUGHS]

Can't I?

Well, toodle-pip.

Same to you.

I know what you
are up to, George.

And I don't like it.

Don't you want me to be
happy about the wedding?

Of course I do.

Well, the only
way I can be happy

is if Lionel gets Jenny to
sign one of those agreements.

You'll only make
him mad and angry.

My own son mad at
me? You got to be kidding!

He'll be furious.

Oh, yeah? How
much you wanna bet?

Bet?

Oh, okay, George.

But not money.
Something more delicious.

I got it.

If Lionel gets mad at you,

you'll kiss all the Willises

and say how happy you are to
welcome them into the family.

Kiss all the Willises?

Jenny, Helen and Tom.

Ergh!

Okay! You got a bet.

Good. This bet is going to
be right up your alley, George.

Oh, yeah? Why you say that?

You've been trying to kiss
off the Willises for years.

Hi, Pop.

Lionel! Hey!

Good to see you, son!

How about a little talk?

I don't have much time. I'm
on my way up to see Jenny.

What a coincidence! I was
just thinking about Jenny.

You were thinking about Jenny?

Yeah!

Hey, that's nice!

Have you thought
about a divorce?

Divorce?

We're not even
married yet. I know.

That's the best time to think
about it, before it's too late.

Where you coming from, Pop?

Look, Lionel.

One of these days,

your old man's
going to be leaving.

You taking a vacation?

No. I mean I'm going to die.

Oh, hey, Pop, are you sick?

No! I don't mean right
now. I mean someday.

Oh! Well, we all
got to go some time.

That's right.

And remember, one day,

all of this will be yours.

Plus all of our stores.

Pop, why are you
talking like this?

Because I want to make sure

you and Jenny get
off on the right foot.

Okay. How?

Well, for instance,
you could, uh,

get her to sign one of
those prenuptial agreements.

What?!

You know, so she
can't get her hooks

on the Jefferson dough
when you get divorced.

This is the dumbest, rottenest
thing that you've ever sai...

[SOFTLY] Shh!
Hold it! Don't get mad.

What do you expect me to get?

We aren't done yet.

Oh, yes, we are.

Lionel!

Just forget it, understand?

What was Lionel shouting about?

Shouting? Huh.

Okay, if you don't want
to go to the movies,

see if I care!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hi! Hi.

Nice...

Was it something I said
or something you ate?

What?

Well, you got steam
coming out of your ears.

Hey, what's the matter?

Look, Jenny,

I don't want to
talk about it, okay?

Okay.

Hey, I saw the cutest
little outfit today...

Do you know what he
had the nerve to ask me?

Who?

Well, my father, of course.

Jenny, why don't
you listen to me?

He wanted me to get you to
sign a premarriage agreementry.

To stop you from getting
your hands on my money.

Oh, but you don't
have any money.

He means his
money after he's dead.

Jenny, that man
makes me so damn mad.

Oh, come on.

It's just another one of
your father's dumb ideas.

[GIGGLES]

[SIGHS]

He should know

I wouldn't sign such an
agreement like that anyway.

Of course you wouldn't,

because I'd never
ask you to sign one.

Mmm. I wouldn't
even if you did ask me.

You're right.

I'm getting angry over nothing.

What do you mean, you wouldn't
sign it even if I did ask you?

Well, just that!

But it doesn't matter,

because you're not
going to ask me, right?

Right.

But only because I wouldn't ask.

Not because you'd
tell me not to ask.

What?

I mean, the man in the
marriage decides these things.

Oh!

Oh, does that mean I have
to do whatever you say,

Mr. Macho?

It means if your husband
asks you to do something,

you ought to have
enough faith in him to do it.

But what if he asks me
to do something stupid?

Well, if you loved him enough,

you wouldn't
think it was stupid.

And I should obey
him, just like that?

Just like that.

Well, I'm not going to
sign your stupid agreement.

Because I'm not asking you to.

But if I'd asked you to sign it,

I have a right to expect
you to trust me and to sign.

Oh, no, no! Uh-uh.

You don't have any
rights over this girl.

I mean, I'm not a puppet.

I'm not your puppet now

and I won't be your
puppet when we're married.

So go find some
other strings to pull.

Okay, then you don't
have to marry me

just because I asked you.

That suits me fine.

Then the wedding's off?

Yeah, it's off!

Okay, yeah!

Jenny, what's going on in here?

[WAILING]

Tom! Tom!

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

I thought you said
there was trouble.

There sure was
the last time I saw.

Hi, Jenny! Is
everything all right?

Fantastic!

Am I going crazy?

A minute ago, you were in
here practically hysterical.

Yeah, I was feeling down.

But I feel all right now.

Jenny, I don't understand this.

Oh, come on, Mama.

Come on, now, get down.

Uh, look, Jenny, your
mother told me you were crying

as though your
heart was breaking.

Well, you know how
Mama likes to exaggerate.

Come on, Pop, get down.

Exaggerate?

I did not exaggerate.

Something was going on
between you and Lionel.

Yeah, well, uh, nothing much.

We had a
disagreement, that's all.

That's all?

Yeah, but we came
to an understanding.

You see, Helen,
there's no problem.

What kind of understanding?

Jenny, what kind
of understanding?

The wedding is off.

What?!

Look here, Jenny.

Tom, will you stop dancing!

Oh, I'm sorry.

She said the wedding is off.

What?

How can you act so calm?

Well, it ain't no big thing.

We called it off,
that's all. You can't!

Helen, let me handle this.

But, Tom... I mean it, Helen.

This is no time for
female hysterics.

You know how emotional you get.

You can't even think straight.

What we need here is a
calm, rational approach.

Tom, she... Helen, please.

Tom... Thank you, Helen.

Now, Jenny, I'm your
father and I love you.

You know that, don't you?

Yeah.

And you know I'd do
anything to help you.

Yes.

You want to tell
me what happened?

No.

Oh.

All right, let me
put it this way.

I'm your father and
you're my daughter,

and you're gonna tell me
what happened, or else!

Oh, Daddy... Lionel
and I are through.

That's all.

I personally think
I'm very lucky

that I found out that he was...

[SOBS] Dad, I feel terrible.

Oh, honey, honey. Oh.

Oh, please don't cry.

I... I can't stand
to see you cry.

I can't help it.

I didn't mean to upset you.

But it's... It's not you.

Oh, yes, it is.

I come in here to help you

and I'm no help at all.

I start shouting and demanding.

Oh, God, I'm a lousy father!

Daddy, please, don't.

I can't help it.

You're not a lousy father.

You're the best father
in the whole world.

Well, Lord knows I try.

Believe me, your just being
here has really helped me a lot.

Thank you, Jenny.

You've made me
feel a lot better.

Daddy!

Hmm?

I thought you wanted
to hear what happened.

Oh, of course.

That's what I came in here for.

Oh, my dear, what happened?

Lionel. Lionel, he started
acting super-macho, you know?

"I'm the man and
you're the woman,

so if I say you
do it, you do it."

Well, I told him I don't
want that kind of marriage.

I don't blame you.

That doesn't sound like Lionel.

How did all this start?

I told him I wouldn't sign
a prenuptial agreement.

A prenuptial agreement?

Yeah, that's that
contract you sign...

Oh, I know what it is, dear.

Where did he get that idea from?

BOTH: His father!

I might've known.

I might've known!

George Jefferson would
be at the bottom of this.

Well, this time
he's gone too far!

You hear me, Jenny? Too far!

Okay, calm down.
You're getting angry.

I am not angry.

When I get angry,
my nostrils flare.

Do you see my nostrils flaring?

Yeah, I can see clear
up to your sinuses.

Then it's out of my control.

For three years I've
taken all that man's insults.

All the stupid h*nky jokes!

But no more!

I've had it. You
hear me? I've had it!

But, Daddy, you said you
were gonna be calm and rational.

I am calm and I am rational!

Don't tell me I'm
not rational, damn it!

Oww!

Oh-hoh! Ow!

Helen! Helen! Ohh!

Helen. What happened?

I think my foot's broken.

Oh-hoh. How'd you do that?

I didn't do it, George
Jefferson did it.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

Will you stop all that blowing?
You're making waves in my soup.

I don't understand you, George.

Lionel and Jenny have
broken up, and you just sit there.

What do you want me to do,
stand up and eat my soup?

If you keep talking smart,

you're gonna take
a swim in that soup.

What do you want from me, Weez?

The wedding is off!

Aren't you gonna
do anything about it?

Sure I am.

I'm gonna cancel my wedding
suit and save me 300 bucks.

See you later.

Lionel, aren't you
gonna eat something?

I'm not hungry.

Uh, wait. Wait.

Uh, shouldn't we
talk a little more?

Ma, there's nothing
more to talk about.

I mean, Jenny and I
are through and that's it.

I still can't
understand it, Lionel.

How could you
break up a marriage

over something you weren't
gonna do in the first place,

over a silly "maybe"?

Ain't nothing silly
about "maybe,"

because you never know

when a "maybe" is gonna
turn into a sure thing.

You are not making sense.

Oh, yes, I am.

Remember the day when
you said, "Maybe I'm pregnant,"

and I said that was silly?

Well, didn't that
"maybe" turn into Lionel?

Well, there's no
"maybe" about him now.

He's acting just as
crazy as his father.

Oh, now, look, Ma...

I mean, you may as well face it,

Jenny and I are
through and that's it.

Couldn't you go up and
tell Jenny you are sorry?

After all... No!
She broke it off!

Now, why doesn't she come to me?

After all, I've got my pride.

Pride, huh?

You try sleeping with
that for the rest of your life.

Don't be meddling, Weezy.

Lionel's a big boy now.
Just let him live his own life.

Not until I talk
some sense into him.

You've talked enough already!

Now no more
talking, and that's it.

That's it?

Just like that?

Just like that,

because I am your
husband and what I say goes.

Oh, really?

GEORGE: You better
believe it, woman!

LOUISE: I told you
never to call me "woman!"

GEORGE: Didn't
you hear what I said?

I said no more talking about it!

[ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]

[DOOR SLAMS]

Lionel? He's gone.

What do you expect when
you don't listen to me?

You drove him out of the house.

Jenny.

Don't talk to me.

I have to talk to you.

Well, I don't have to listen.

Neither do I.

Look, Jenny, I just
wanna say one thing.

I was wrong.

Now, look, just because you've
got me stuck in an elevator

doesn't mean that I have...

Uh...

Did you say you was wrong?

Please, I'm in a hurry. I'm
meeting my wife downstairs.

Sir, this is very important.

Our whole lives depend on it.

Well, how long will it
take to fix your lives?

Because my wife doesn't
like to be kept waiting.

Not very long.

Jenny, you know all
that stuff I said upstairs

about the husband being the boss

and making all the decisions?

Forget it.

From now on, we're gonna
make all our decisions together.

Equal partners all the way.

What made you change your mind?

I just saw the future,
and it didn't work.

What?

Well, um, let's just say my
father opened my eyes for me.

Oh, wasn't that nice of him?

But, I mean, aren't you afraid

you're not gonna get your
way when we're married?

I'd rather have my
woman than my way.

Lionel...

I'm sorry. Your wife. No!

Let her wait.

Why you all picking
on me? It ain't my fault.

[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

Who do you think
you are? J. Paul Getty?

If you think that my daughter
is after your money, you're...

Did you see what I saw?

What happened? Are you...?

Are you...?

The wedding is on again.

Oh, wonderful. Good.

Yeah, we realized it
was a silly argument.

But we are gonna sign
a prenuptial agreement.

You are? Why?

Because it isn't a bad idea.

You hear that?

Now maybe some people will
shut up before they start talking.

We haven't gotten
it written down yet,

but we've already
decided on the main points.

That's my boy.

First, we're gonna
respect each other.

And we're gonna
trust each other.

And we're gonna
try and live our lives

without telling others
how to live theirs.

Is that it?

That's it.

What about the money?

Hey, drop it, Pop.

Now, I don't wanna blow my
top again like I did this afternoon.

Bu... Sure. Forget
I even mentioned it.

Not so fast.

Did I hear right, George?

Lionel got mad when you
brought up that agreement?

I almost went through the roof.

Oh, well, in that case...

George, don't you
have something to do?

Oh, Weezy.

Now.

I just wanna say I'm happy to
welcome you all into the family.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, George...

Let's just get this
over with, okay?

Okay, Weezy?

Not quite, George.

That's it! That's
as far as it goes.

[♪♪♪]

ANNOUNCER: The
Jeffersons was recorded on tape

in front of a studio audience.

♪ Movin' Movin' on up... ♪