Oh, Grandpa, how are
you coming with your radio?
Well, I've just
about got it fixed.
Where did you get the parts?
Well, I'll tell you, I found these
old tubes down in the dungeon.
That should do it.
Now I'll turn it on.
[radio crackling]
(announcer) We interrupt this
program to bring you a news bulletin.
The city of Rome
b*rned last night.
Emperor Nero was
unavailable for comment.
It was rumored he
was fiddling at the time.
Unidentified sources
close to the emperor...
There.
Boy, are those tubes
old. I'll turn it on later.
Find out who won the daily
double in the chariot races.
Hey, Mom, has Pop come home yet?
Not yet, dear. Sometimes your father
has an awful time flagging down a taxi.
Eddie, this is the third time you've
asked. It must be very important.
Eddie, is there something your
dear old Grandpa can do for you?
No, Grandpa. I've
got to talk to Pop.
[door creaking open]
Hi, everyone.
Hello, dear.
I'm glad you are home.
Eddie wants to talk to you.
He seems to have
a problem. Problem?
My son, who has inherited
my personality, my good looks...
and my talent, has a problem?
Yes, besides the ones
you just mentioned.
Very un-humorous, Grandpa.
Now, Son, what is
your little problem?
Well, I...
Come on, you can
tell your old dad.
Could I whisper it
to you in private?
You want to whisper it to
me in private? I guess so.
They just fired on Fort Sumter.
Eddie, what on earth happened?
Search me. I just told Papa
I wanted a baby brother.
Is he feeling any better, Lily?
[shushing]
Grandpa, more ice.
Herman, you're all tense.
Tense? My nerves
are so tight, every time I
scratch my ear, my
leg goes up in the air.
[creaking]
A baby brother? Gee.
I have it all figured out why
Eddie wants a baby brother.
You see, it's only natural for
a child to want companionship.
Back home I had a whole mausoleum
full of brothers and sisters to play with.
If it is just a matter of
companionship, I can take care of that.
I'll become a pal to my son.
Herman, what about
the age difference?
Do you think it would work?
Of course it would work.
The key to the whole
thing is to think as a child.
And for me that comes very easy.
I'll show you.
In no time at all...
Eddie will have forgotten all about
wanting to have a baby brother.
Olly, olly, outs in free.
[thudding]
[Herman screaming]
What happened?
Herman is practicing
to be a child.
Practicing?
That's like Brigitte Bardot
practicing to be a girl.
[knoocking on door]
(Herman) Eddie.
Eddie, it's your old buddy. Pop.
Hiya, pal.
[sighing]
How are you, old pal? Old pal?
[grunting]
Well...
look what we have here.
Your model airplane.
Say, I know.
I'll be the pilot and you
be the man at control tower.
How about that? Doesn't
that sound like neat fun?
Sure, Pop. If you say so.
Pilot to control tower,
ready to take off.
Eddie, you're supposed to
say "Roger, wilco and out."
Come on, say it.
Roger, wilco and out.
Pilot to control tower.
I'm taking off.
Now look what
you did. You lost it.
Now, Eddie, I'm sure it's not lost.
Let's go right downstairs and get it.
[sighing]
Gee, now you
wrecked my airplane.
But, Son, don't you understand?
I'm trying to be a buddy to you.
A real friend.
If you want to be a friend, would
you do just one thing for me?
Anything you say.
Give me a baby
brother to play with.
Hi, Herman.
Herman?
Hi, Grandpa.
Herman, what's the matter?
You look like a zombie.
Thank you, but flattery is
not going to cheer me up.
What's wrong? What's
wrong? Eddie's what's wrong.
He won't give up. He insists
that I get him a baby brother.
So I'm just going to
have to talk to Lily about it.
Just like that, you're
going to talk to Lily...
about getting a baby
brother for Eddie.
I think it's a good idea
if I let her in on it, too.
Herman, a situation like this
requires delicate handling.
Be subtle.
Go and get out some
of Eddie's baby things.
When Lily sees them, she will
fondly recall Eddie as a baby.
And she will suggest to you...
about enlarging your family.
Grandpa, you're a
thinking man's father-in-law.
That's just what
I'm going to do.
I'm going to go up the attic
and get out Eddie's baby things.
I couldn't find any of Eddie's baby
things so I got my own out instead.
But I guess they'll do
just as well with Lily.
What do you know?
My old teething ring.
My first pair of booties.
And lookie, my favorite blocks.
And my baby bonnet.
I wonder if it still fits.
And my old rattle.
[babbling]
[rattle bell gonging]
I was afraid of this.
It took 151 years.
But it finally happened.
Well, what's that, Aunt Lily?
Herman is in his
second childhood.
Oh, my, I didn't think Eddie's
airplane hit him that hard on the head.
I'll take care of this.
Herman Munster,
what are you doing?
What am I doing?
Don't you get the picture?
[babbling]
I get the picture.
I get the picture of you being
hauled off to the flaky farm.
That's not the picture at all.
I'm just giving you
a subtle hint that
Eddie wants a new
baby brother to play with.
Herman, let's be
logical about this.
All right, let's be logical.
I can't be logical when you're
wearing that stupid bonnet.
Sorry, dear.
There.
First of all, Eddie
is nine years old.
I'll go along with that.
If we had a baby now, by
the time it was 9 years old...
how old would Eddie be?
How old would Eddie
be? Well, he'd be...
He'd be about...
He'd be almost...
There's only one answer, isn't
there? Yes, dear, he'd be 18.
I'll accept that answer.
Now, by the time the
new baby was 18...
Eddie would be 27 years old.
Now, you see how it would
be? Lily, you know, you're right.
Why would an old man like
Eddie want to play with a little kid?
Well, that's not exactly what
I meant, but you get the idea.
Wait a minute, Lily. I
have the solution. What?
You and I will have
a 9-year-old baby...
and get a head start
on the whole thing.
Herman...
you are impossible and childish.
Lily, don't you call me that
or I'll hit you with my rattle.
[rattle bell gonging]
Herman, come here.
Grandpa, your idea did not work.
Lily didn't take
the hint at all.
I figured you'd goof it up, so I've been
working on a solution to your problem.
Come on down here.
Shucks, Grandpa, what
solution could you have?
Herman, I've solved the problem of
what Eddie's going to play with. Sit down.
I've been down here in the
lab all night working on it.
Oh yeah? What did you
come up with? A yo-yo?
A beanbag? A pogo stick?
[mimicks Herman laughing]
Just sit there. I'll show you.
Voilà!
(Grandpa) Boris?
Boris, say hello
to your new daddy.
Why, Grandpa, he's beautiful.
Hi, little fellow.
Grandpa, you are the greatest.
Son-in-law, that's the first thing
you've said in years that I agree with.
Aren't you two
having fun together?
Isn't it heartwarming to see such
a wonderful friendship developing?
(Lily) Having fun, Boris?
It's real neat playing
with this construction set.
If we lose one of the parts,
we can borrow one of Boris'.
Hi, everyone! Daddy's home!
Hi, Uncle Herman.
How's everything down at
the parlor, dear? Not bad.
It was my turn to drive the Go-Go Wagon,
so I was out in the field most of the day.
Certainly was good to
get back to a stuffy office.
Thank you, Boris.
Thank you very much.
Sweet little fellow.
Yes, he was such a help
around the house today.
You know, at lunch, he opened
all the tin cans with his teeth.
Good boy.
Marilyn, it's about time we
thought about getting dinner.
What are we having, dear?
Herman, I heard about a new TV
dinner today. How does that sound to you?
Sounds okay. TV dinner.
But wouldn't the dials and
the tubes be pretty lumpy?
Come on, Marilyn.
Son, how are you?
I'm okay, I guess.
Oh, and hi, Grandpa.
How are you, old chum,
old pal, old buddy, old friend?
You don't have to lay it on.
You can have the comics.
Thank you, Boris.
Thank you very much.
Son, are you having fun playing
with your new little baby brother?
Yeah, it's real
neat. That's nice.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
I must say, you certainly are a very
thoughtful and considerate little fellow.
Good boy.
You know, Edward, your new
little baby brother certainly is polite.
Yeah, he sure is.
This is a delicious
dinner, Aunt Lily.
Thank you. I thought Chinese
food would be good for a change.
More fillet of dragon, Grandpa?
Thank you. Goes
good on a chilly day.
Edward, you haven't eaten one
thing on your plate, young man.
I don't feel like eating.
Maybe he doesn't feel well.
He isn't green around
the gills like he usually is.
Nonsense. Eddie,
you clean your plate.
Look at Boris.
He cleaned everything off
his plate like a good little boy.
He even ate his spinach.
He knows the value
of iron in his system.
And stop picking at your food...
and sit up straight like Boris.
Boris, Boris, Boris!
Boris, Boris, Boris!
I don't want to play.
I said I don't want to play.
Eddie, that was uncalled for.
Now you march upstairs
and put your jammies on.
Boy, everybody hates me.
Just for that you can't take your
cold-water bottle to bed with you tonight.
Hi, Boris.
What?
You want me to read
you a bedtime story?
Amazing how we
understand each other.
I guess...
the old wheels up here
are really synchronized.
All right, come on, get up on
your old Uncle Hermie's lap.
There we go.
Now...
which one do you
want me to read first?
This one.
"Goldilocks and
the Three Bears."
Good, that's my
favorite one, too.
I can hardly wait until they make
it into a movie with Doris Day.
"Once upon a time...
"and right in the
middle of the forest...
"Goldilocks found this great big
house and she decided to go inside."
Boy, this is neat,
isn't it, Boris?
[wind blowing]
"And then the
middle-size bear said:
"'Who's been
sleeping in my bed?"
"And then the
teeny-weeny-weeny tiny bear said:
"'Who's been
sleeping in my bed?"
"And then they
all went into the..."
[beeping]
The poor little tyke
is sound asleep.
That's quite understandable, Herman.
He's been pretty wound up all day.
Oh, Herman.
Herman, Eddie isn't in his room. I
sent him up to bed but he's not there.
What? Eddie's gone? He can't be!
Sorry, Boris. I didn't
mean to wake you.
Marilyn even looked in the attic,
and he's not hanging from the rafters.
Quick, Grandpa, you go that way.
Lily, you go that way
and I'll go this way.
[organ blaring]
Herman, will you relax?
Come with me, we'll find him. We
just have to go about it the right way.
Herman, it's your fault. You hurt Eddie's
feelings and now he's run away from home.
But, Lily...
(Marilyn) Uncle Herman, he's not
in the house. I've looked everywhere.
Spot's the one who can find
Eddie. Here, give me Eddie's jacket.
If anyone can sniff like
a bloodhound, it's Spot.
Are you there, Spotty?
Good boy.
Now, Spotty, here's
what I want you to do...
I want you to sniff this
coat and lead us to Eddie.
With a sniffer like
that, he can't miss.
Go find Eddie, Spot. Go fetch.
[loud thumping]
[growling]
[crashing]
I think Spot's
found him. Let's go.
There he is.
Eddie, my baby.
Lily, I'll get him.
Down, Spot. Good boy.
[growling]
Eddie, what are you doing up in
that tree? Come down here this instant.
I won't. I'm going
to stay up here till I
croak, 'cause nobody
loves me, nobody cares.
Eddie, we all love you.
We love you from the
bottom of your little hoofs...
to the top of your
little pointed ears.
(Marilyn) Eddie, we
all love you very much.
But Pop likes Boris better. I saw
him reading him stories and stuff.
That's right. I was, Son.
But I was merely trying to repay
a kindness that he did to me.
After all, he got my
newspapers, my footstool and...
I was just trying to be
considerate to him in return.
That's a lesson I learned years
ago in an old Andy Hardy picture.
Come, Son.
Boy, Pop, I'm sorry I misunderstood
you, but you love me, don't you?
Of course he does, Eddie.
It's just that sometimes your
father is too stupid to show it.
Thank you, Grandpa.
Eddie, your little beddy-bye will
feel good. I changed the lining today.
Now Boris is gone.
Boris.
(Grandpa) Boris.
Boris, wait. Wait,
Boris, don't go!
Be a good boy, stay right here.
He certainly looks like he was
serious about running away.
Boy, you ain't kidding, look
at this. He took his oilcan...
and his wrench with him.
Boris, how could you do
this to your own family?
How could you leave
your happy, happy home?
[squeaking]
You thought that you were
responsible for Eddie leaving home?
But you weren't, Boris.
It was all my own fault.
I was acting like a real dope. Please
don't run away. You won't, will you?
You know something? You're the
greatest playmate a guy could ever have.
See, he thinks you are one, too.
"Dear Mrs. Munster...
"I want to thank you all for sending me
to live with Uncle Garret and Aunt Minah...
"on their lovely
ranch in Death Valley.
"I'm looking forward to visiting
Eddie and all of you on vacations.
"Signed, your
loving robot, Boris."
Isn't that a sweet letter?
Yeah. You know, he
writes pretty good...
for a kid I slapped together
in a couple of hours.
I guess it was for the best
we sent him to our relatives.
Especially since the second grade wouldn't
accept him without a birth certificate.
Someday all those petty
prejudices will be gone.
I only hope little Eddie will be happy
without his little mechanical brother.
That will probably
take a little time.
Boy, you're a real neat kid. Since
I met you, I hardly miss Boris at all.
I like you, too, Eddie.
You climb trees and catch bugs
and look for caterpillars, everything.
Yeah, the ickier, the better.