[Yawning]
Herman, honey, did you
enjoy the movie tonight?
Oh, it was fine,
dear. Just fine.
[Yawning] But you know, Lily,
I don't think everybody at the
drive-in cared for the picture.
When I got out of the car
to get some refreshments,
I noticed people
leaving in droves.
I noticed that too.
Why, some of them even drove
right out through the fence to get out.
And did you see those
head-on collisions?
Well, that's showbiz.
[Yawning]
Lily, I'm awfully tired tonight.
I think I'll go up to bed.
Oh. So early, dear? It's
only : in the morning.
Well, I haven't been
sleeping too well lately.
For the past few days, I've been
tossing and turning all afternoon.
[Gasps] Herman!
Oh, I left my fur coat out
in the backseat of the car.
Before you go to bed, would
you be a dear and bring it in?
But, Lily, I'm... Oh,
come on, Herman.
I don't want to lose it. It's
my new wolf-dyed mink.
All right, dear. But I'm...
I'm dead on my feet.
[Wind Whistling]
[Yawning]
Hey, it sure got
windy all of a sudden.
Yeah.
Freddie. What?
I think we found one.
Hey, you're right, Al.
This is the perfect getaway
car for that bank job tonight.
And the keys
are in it. Let's go.
[Stomping] Grandpa!
Grandpa, are you down there?
[Door Creaks]
What is it, Lily? I'm in the
middle of a very big experiment.
Grandpa, listen.
Twenty minutes ago,
Herman went to the
car to get my coat.
I just looked out front and
both he and the car are gone.
Don't worry, Lily. Why, when I
was younger in the Old Country,
I was always disappearing
in the middle of the night.
Of course, that was before I
got rheumatism in my wings.
Grandpa, I hope Herman didn't get
any ideas from the movie we saw tonight.
In the picture, David
Niven leaves his wife...
to chase after Tuesday Weld.
Oh, Lily, it's
nothing like that.
Why, Herman loves you
from the bottom of his hearts.
Of course. Of
course, you're right.
You're right, Grandpa.
I know Herman loves
me. But where is he?
What could possibly make a
man leave his happy home?
Tuesday Weld. Tuesday Weld.
[Wolf Whistle]
If there's anything I can't
stand, it's a bigmouthed raven.
Hey, Al, where we
gonna pick up Marty?
You know, the farmhouse. Then
we all take off together from there.
Oh, yeah.
[Snoring]
Hey, Freddie, wake
up, will ya? I am awake.
So how come you just
snored? I didn't snore.
How do you know?
'Cause I'm awake.
I know I'm awake 'cause I can hear
myself talking. When I'm sleeping,
I don't hear myself talk on account I
never say nothing unless I'm awake.
So if I'm awake, how
could I have snored?
Freddie, do me a
favor, will ya? Yeah?
Go back to sleep.
[Snoring]
You mean he just
disappeared, Aunt Lily?
Oh, yes, Marilyn. And
it's not like Herman.
He's such a homebody.
What's all the excitement? Did
Grandpa blow himself up again?
[Laughs] Of course not.
We can't have fun
and games all the time.
Eddie, this doesn't concern you.
Marilyn, will you take him back
upstairs and put him to bed?
Come on, Eddie. But gee, I
wanna hear what's going on.
Is it okay if I
leave the lid open?
We'll see, Eddie.
Is it okay if I leave the
top half of the lid open?
[Creaking]
Lily, who are you phoning?
Well, I'm not gonna just
sit by and... and do nothing.
- I'm gonna call the police.
- The police?
But, Lily, this is
not necessary.
Hello? I'd like the Missing
Persons Bureau, please.
Yes. This is Mrs.
Herman Munster.
I'd like to report
a missing person.
Yes, it's my husband. He
disappeared this evening.
Yes, ma'am, Mrs. Munster. Could
I have his description, please?
Well, he's about seven feet
tall and weighs pounds.
Seven feet, three hundred
and eight... pounds.
Well, you see, he's
been on a diet lately.
- Age?
- Uh... Oh, just one moment, please.
Grandpa, how old is
Herman? I keep forgetting.
Well, they started working on
him right after the w*r of .
They ran into a shortage of
parts at the medical school.
I'd say they sewed up
the job around .
Just put down middle-aged.
Any distinguishing
characteristics?
No, nothing unusual.
You'd never even notice him
if you met him on the street.
- Eyes?
- Two.
There wasn't room for any more.
I mean, what color?
Oh, oh, well, one's brown
and one's chartreuse.
They thought it would
match his complexion.
- Visible scars?
- No.
He has a... He has a lovely
beauty mark on his forehead though.
It's about five inches long, and
it's shaped like a bolt of lightning.
Lily, tell him our
address. Our address!
Oh, yes, yes. We live at
Mockingbird Lane.
And-And please, please call me when
you learn anything. I'm awfully worried.
You see, he left the house
in a... in a sort of a daze.
Yes, ma'am.
We'll get right on it.
Benson? Yes, Sergeant.
Get out a on a Herman Munster.
The Mockingbird Heights vicinity.
What's up? Well,
his wife just called in.
But she was so hysterical,
the description's kind of wild.
Just make it, uh... Make it a tall,
heavyset male with a sallow complexion.
May be suffering from amnesia.
Grandpa, they're going
to send out a bulletin,
but don't you think we
ought to call the morgue?
No, Lily. I think Herman was
too sleepy to go and visit anybody.
Hey, Al, look. The Big Dipper.
Where? Oh, come
on. Let's get in there.
Hey, listen. I
hope we're not late.
Marty always works
me over when we're late.
Wise up, will ya? That
means he likes ya. Come on.
Hey, listen, Al. Yeah?
Are you sure the car's
gonna be all right out there?
Sure. Nobody's
gonna steal a car.
How many times
do I have to tell you?
People are basically honest.
Hey, uh, we heisted a car.
Got here as soon as we
could, Marty. Yeah, Marty, yeah.
Now we're waiting for some
big guy the boss is sending over.
His name is Big Louie.
He's gonna drive the
car on the bank job...
and flatten anybody
who gets in our way.
Hey, this is just like them
George Raft pictures on television.
Ah, shut up, will ya?
So, why don't you
deal, huh? All right.
[Wolf Howling]
[Wolf Howling]
Hey, Marty, who's
this Big Louie anyway?
I don't know. I've
never seen him before.
But he's a great big goon.
Supposed to be a regular monster.
Oh, yeah, the boss
says he's an ex-fighter.
He's punchy from
years in the ring.
Twenty years in
the ring? [Knocking]
That's probably him now.
Uh, excuse me,
but I seem to be lost.
You're not lost. This is
the place. Get in here.
Uh, oh, no. Maybe
you don't understand.
You see my wife's
coat... Get in...
Uh, will you please get in here?
Well, [Laughs]
uh, now that you
put it that way.
You're late. Late?
Yeah, come on,
you. Let's get going.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, but I couldn't
go anywhere with you gentlemen.
Listen, you. Nobody
chickens out in this outfit, see?
[Giggles] Please,
please, I'm very ticklish.
Will you stop the clownin' before I
blow holes in you? Now come on.
Gracious.
Hmm. A lot of rude
people in this world.
Let's go, Louie. Step on it.
Boy, that Big Louie's the
toughest-looking hatchet man I ever seen.
Yeah, boy, is he punchy.
How'd he get a face like that?
From only years in the ring?
Come on, Louie.
There's work to be done.
Gracious. I'd really rather
not, gentlemen, but if you insist.
Hey, did anything escape
from the zoo tonight?
No, but he kinda
fits that we got.
"Herman Munster... tall,
heavyset, male, sallow complexion."
Well, let's check him out.
Looking for something, mister?
Well, yeah. I'm looking for an
address. What street do you want?
Well, uh, what street you got?
What do you think? Fits the description.
Says "a possible amnesia victim."
Yeah, that's Herman Munster.
Looks like this amnesia victim
forgot when to put the bottle down.
Why don't you get in with us, mister. I
think we know just the address you want.
Oh, don't mind if I do.
You know something? I never got
this kind of service in Kansas City.
Thank you.
Lily, we've been
driving around for hours,
and there's just
no sign of Herman.
Maybe we should have
waited at home for him.
Oh, no, no. The police
never called back.
We simply must keep on looking.
Poor Herman, he's so helpless.
There's a phone, Aunt
Lily. Maybe you could call
the police and see if
they've learned anything.
That's a good idea, Marilyn.
Gee, I wonder where Pop is.
Oh, Eddie, we should
have left you home in bed.
What for? You know I can't
go to sleep till it's light out.
Really?
Oh, well... well, thank
you. Th-Thank you.
Marilyn. Grandpa. Guess what.
The police picked up
Herman a half hour ago.
The poor dear was
walking the streets in a daze.
Where is he now? Well, he was
so groggy from lack of sleep...
that they took him to our
house and put him to bed.
They thought he'd been drinking.
Can you imagine?
Why, that's ridiculous.
And that policeman
made another odd remark.
He said something about
our house looking spooky.
Hmm. Well, there's just
no accounting for taste.
As long as Herman is back in
bed, why don't we head on home?
You know, Herman must
have really been in a daze.
They said he kept insisting
that his name was Louie.
Keep driving straight,
then turn onto State Street.
Gentlemen, if-if you'll only
allow me to phone my wife.
She must be very
worried about me.
Louie, will you knock it
off and do what you're told?
Yeah, knock it off.
Pull over there on the right.
Uh, but, Mr. Marty, that's a bank.
I don't believe
it's open this early.
Very funny. Pull
over there, Louie.
[Whistles]
- [Alarm Ringing]
- Let's scramble!
Come on, Louie.
Move it. Move it fast!
Come on, stupid,
move it! Let's go!
[Alarm Continues Ringing]
What are you doing? Step on it.
Uh, but, gentlemen, this
is a -mile-an-hour zone.
Move it, stupid. Y-Yes, sir.
Won't this car go
any faster, Grandpa?
We've gotta get home
and see how Herman is.
Faster? We're doing now.
Wait'll I get it
out of low gear.
Grandpa, that looked
like Herman in that car.
Nah, it couldn't be.
Herman is back home in bed.
It must be someone
who looks just like him.
Yes, I guess there are lots of big,
strong, handsome men in the world.
[Tires Screeching]
[Siren Wailing]
Marilyn, you get
Eddie back into bed.
I'm going upstairs and
see how Herman is.
Come on, Eddie. Back in bed.
[Snoring]
Oh, poor Herman, so tired.
There you are, pussycat.
[Snoring Continues]
Come on, pour it on.
We gotta lose those guys.
Yes, as soon as I make
this boulevard stop.
[Tires Skid]
Heavens to betsy! I forgot
to make a stop signal.
Get movin'! Get movin'!
That way! Come on!
[Tires Screeching]
[Siren Wailing]
Just our luck, it's starting to
rain. Quick, back it up in there.
We got it made. They're gonna
go right past us. [Gears Grinding]
Hey, what are you
doing? We can't stay here.
It says "No Parking.
Unloading Only."
What's that crazy kook doing?
[Crash]
You see that, Grady. That driver
wrecked that car on purpose.
All right, you guys, up
against the wall, all of you.
Get 'em up! Nice and easy.
Check the driver of the car. I think he
hit his head. You're gonna tear my coat.
Come on! Hustle 'em
out! Get your hands up!
Wait. Now, wait!
All right, already.
Hey, here's the loot
from the bank job.
[Gasping]
What's the
matter? It's horrible.
Don't look, Blake. His face...
It's d*sfigured for life.
Oh! Poor devil.
You ever see anything so bad?
Not since the
expl*si*n in the morgue.
All right, easy now. Easy.
Nice and easy there.
Why don't you come over
and lay down over here.
We'll, uh, we'll have an
ambulance here for you in a minute.
Oh, uh, thank you, but I
don't need an ambulance.
I just wanna go home.
I never heard of
anyone so brave.
Brave? [Scoffs] Uh,
uh, those three men...
made me drive the car
while they pulled a bank job.
I figured the only way
out was to wreck the car.
Fine. You're a very
public-spirited citizen,
but please try not to talk now
till we get you to a hospital.
But, uh, but I don't
want to go to a hospital.
In your condition, that's
the only place to go.
No, no, no, no, no! I-I
won't go to a hospital!
Uh, my name is Herman
Munster, I live on Mockingbird Lane,
and I wanna go home now!
An accident? Well, it... You
must be mistaken, Officer Grady.
It can't possibly be my
husband you're bringing home.
She said you can't be her
husband. Let-Let me talk to her.
Hello, Lily? It's me.
Herman? It just can't be
you there when it's you here.
I mean, there must
be some explanation.
Uh, Lily, I'll explain everything
when I get home, dear. Hmm.
Herman?
Who was that on the phone, Lily?
Well, he said it was Herman,
and it sounded like Herman,
but Herman's upstairs.
Grandpa!
You and I are going to
take a look in the bedroom.
[Stairway Creaking]
[Snoring]
Herman? Herman?
- Uh, what? [Screams]
- [Screams] It isn't Herman!
I know... I must have d*ed, and
they sent me to the bad place.
Grandpa, there's someone
sleeping in my bed.
Who is it?
It ain't Goldilocks.
This must be Brimstone
City, a-and you're the devil!
Hippity-bippity, rinkety-dink, make
like a statue and freeze, you fink!
[Laughing] That'll hold him.
Come on, Grandpa. I'm gonna
get the police on the phone again.
Help! Help! Let me down!
Don't go away.
Help! Let me down!
Oh, Grandpa, do you suppose
Herman really was in an accident?
Now, Lily, don't get upset
until you've seen him.
After all, you know that the police have
been mistaken about Herman before.
I suppose you're right, Grandpa.
Last time Herman fell asleep in the park,
we had to pick him up at the mortuary.
[Lock Clicks]
Oh, Herman, it's so
wonderful to have you back.
Thank you, dear. Oh, uh, Herman.
Um, I was so worried, I reported
you to the Missing Persons Bureau.
They brought around some big
lunk who calls himself Big Louie.
Grandpa has him
frozen in the bedroom.
Big Louie? Shh!
I told the police to wait,
and I'd bring him right down.
Do you know something? Those
crooks tonight kept calling me Louie.
I'll bet that's the man they were
waiting for when I showed up.
I'll go and get him.
[Keys Clattering]
Okay, Louie, unfreeze.
[Clears Throat] Come
on, already. Defrost!
What are those magic
words? Alakazam!
Abracadabra!
Oh, fiddlesticks!
Uh, what round is it?
Never mind that, Louie.
Just come with me.
You're a good boy. We'll
get you all nice and neat.
I like you. We have a lot of
people downstairs for you to meet.
I've never had such
a drive in my life.
At one point, I was
driving down the street...
Come right downstairs to the
police. We'll probably get a reward.
Let's go, Louie. Come on.
[Both Yell]
Where's my manager? I was
fouled. I wanna get outta here.
What a frightening person.
You're right.
Can you imagine anyone mistaking him
for my big, sweet, handsome husband?
Oh, Lily. Oh, Herman.
You're blushing.
Really? Yes.
You're turning the most
adorable shade of green.