02x01 - Étude in Black

[bunniefuu]

Frank, let me have that socket
wrench, would you please?

Ta.

That's gotta be His Nibs
again.

Hello, maestro.

Hello, Mike, old boy.
How are you?

Got problems again?

Got a little few problems.

You're a virtuoso, Mike.
Fix this thing for me.

Tune it, oil it, talk to it,
do whatever you have to.

Fix this thing
It's not running right.

I got a rattle in the brass
section, the woodwinds are flat.

What's this thing?

That's the distributor.

Anyway, fix it. I'll see you
tomorrow around noon, all right?

Okay. Do you need a ride?

No, my wife is
supposed to meet me here.

Ah, there she is now,
right on time as always. Hi, honey.

Darling, I have to wash my hands.
I'll be right there. Mike.

Bye, maestro!

Move over.

All right, darling.

All right.

Here we go.

- Alex, stop that.
- Why should I?

I feel that happens to be
improper behavior for the conductor...

of the Southern Philharmonic...
whatever it is.

You sound just like
your mother.

To pinch his wife publicly.

You do. You sound
like your mother.

She'd like me to go around
as somber as the ghost...

as august as Brahms,
as fierce as Beethoven.

Did you know that Brahms
used to tell dirty stories?

He used to have a cigar and use it...

while he was conducting
sometimes, in concerts.

And Beethoven, he was...

Yes, I know. You told me
he was a sex maniac.

- So am I.
- Alex.

Look, will you take this thing
to the dressing room for me?

- I have to see Billy a second.
- Okay.

How's it going, William?

Oh, hello, Alex. I'm just getting
a lineup on the camera positions.

Are we locked into these positions?

Well, just about.

Frank!
You in the control room?

Yes, Mr. Benedict.

I would like to vary these camera
positions from last time.

How would you like them,
Mr. Benedict?

I'd like one on me, as usual,
and... Let's see.

I think we should have
a camera over there stage left.

And I think we should have
a camera wild,

on the orchestra,
with lots of movement.

I want to get away from these usual,
dull looks that we get around here.

Yes, Mr. Benedict.

Do you think we can arrange
to make that happen...

exactly like that during the concert?

Alex, Alex...

I just don't want any of that
during the concert. Is that clear?

Alex, I'll check it out.

How did people ever listen to symphonies
before the age of electronics...

and stupid technicians?

I'll be in my dressing room
until 8:00.

I'd like you to handle
all problems till then.

I'd rather not be disturbed.
I have something going. All right?

Okay, Alex. Take care.

Please!

- Hello, Carlos.
- Mr. Benedict...

Sit down, sit down. How's
your daughter? Feeling any better?

Fine, thank you.
That flu thing's all over.

That's good. That's good.
Listen,

I don't want any calls
or visitors. I mean that.

- Fine, fine.
- All right.

Hi.

Hello, sweetheart.

This is your mail.

Here's some early telegrams.
Here's your music.

And here is a kiss.

I've gotta go.
Mother is waiting for me.

- Need me?
- No. Go on. Get outta here.

Okay. Bye.

Hello, darling.

Hi.

What's the matter,
did I scare you?

- Well...
- You're shaky.

Just for a second,

I was feeling all the hairs
on the back of my neck.

That's just sex.

Mmm.

I thought you weren't coming.

I said I would, didn't I?

Just don't rely on you woman's
intuition. It's never correct.

Well, I thought you
might be a little angry.

How could I be angry,
looking at you?

I just don't like ultimatums,
that's all.

I don't like
being a secret mistress.

It's not my style.

I know that. You told me.

Do we have to go into
the same arguments again?

It's very simple.

I have to be open and free.

So do I, love.

Alex, I want
something better than this.

So do you.

You look a little funny.

Well, it's a marvelous choice
you've given me:

to divorce my wife or you'll make
a scandal out of our love affair.

Alexander, I'm right,
and you know it.

I know that.
You told me that.

Darling, I know you.

I know you're not really
afraid of hurting Janice.

You're just reluctant
to lose her mother's backing.

And all that money.

Don't worry.

You're a genius.
You'll always have everything.

You're just a little weak,
deep inside.

And all you really need is me,

and I need you.

Because I'm the same.
See?

And that's why I had to
make you decide.

All right.

You'll tell her?

Yes. What choice do I have?
All right. Yes.

Okay.

No. Let's not do that now.

Play something for me.

I am so confused I can't understand
anything but music tonight.

What would you like me
to play?

Chopin.

Okay.

I'll fix us a drink of something.

Celebrate our last
secret evening together.

You have to tell them everything.

You always have to tell them
not to start the canapes too soon,

or they'll get soggy
and taste like Band-Aids.

They're gonna be delivered freshly
made right after the concert, Mother.

Mrs. Benedict,
Mrs. Fielding.

Hello, Carlos.

Are those film actors coming?

Oh, yes. Alex invited them.

There are gonna be more of these along,
Carlos, so I'll pick them up later.

Alex likes all that glamour,
I suppose.

But what have actors
got to do with music?

Mother, they're people too.

I doubt it.

Hello.

Hello.
And how's my darling mother?

"Mother!" Good Lord.
Never mind the charm.

How are your opening night nerves?

Nerves? I don't even know the word.
I was just taking a nap inside.

Yeah, he never gets them
before the concert.

It's afterwards he gets the shakes.

Don't start that.

Speaking of nerves,
you know that Tchaikovsky...

got so nervous before a concert,
he had hallucinations.

Once he was so sure
his head was about to fall off,

that he held onto it with his left hand
and he conducted with his right.

- I'll never tell that story again.
- No, don't.

Mother, you have to leave us alone now.
No more chatter for Alex.

Yes, I know. All right.
Be brilliant, Alex.

Of course, you will.
You always are. See you afterwards.

- Alex, excuse me.
- What?

- Jenifer Welles hasn't shown yet.
- What?

Jenifer Welles hasn't shown yet!

Did you phone her?

Yes! The line is busy.
It's been busy for a half hour...

- You phoned, huh?
- Of course I did!

She's always late. This woman has
absolutely no sense of time!

Well, so what are we
supposed to do?

Hello? Operator?

I've been trying to reach 555-7921
for quite some time.

The line's been busy.

Yes, this is an emergency.

Would you cut in, please?

Well, thank you very much.
Thank you.

I mean, this woman is late.
She's late for everything.

She doesn't think there's anyone
else in the world alive!

Darling, please.

- Don't get excited.
- No, no, it's ridiculous!

Hello?

Hello, operator?

Oh, yes.
Thank you very much.

Okay, thank you.

There's no one on the line.

Then she must have left
the phone off the hook.

She left the phone off the hook?

It's possible!
Anything can happen.

Television cameras are waiting!

People in their houses all over
America, waiting for a concert,

and she left the phone
off the hook!

Why don't you call the police?
Why are you...

You wanna call the police?
You call the police.

- I want her canceled out.
- You can't cancel her!

Cancel her out. I don't care
if she arrives right now!

We have the Beethoven.
It's all rehearsed.

You tell the orchestra, William.

What if she shows up?

I've had it!

Hello, operator?
Give me the police, please.

Attention, everybody. I want you
all to be real sharp today.

We gotta have a real good performance.

All right. Ready?
Ready on camera three.

Go.

Would you hold this
a second, Lieutenant?

Dr. Benson.

What?

I'm sorry. What did you say?

Oh, sure.

It's for you, Lieutenant.

Yeah. Columbo.

Yeah. Hi.

Yeah.
Well, I'm at the doctor.

No, it's not serious.

Yes. I'll be there
as soon as I can.

Right. Bye.

Well, that's all there is to it.

He'll need a booster sh*t
in about a week.

He didn't seem to mind.

Oh, they hardly feel it.

But he will need the booster sh*t
in about a week.

Say, how old is he?

Kind of hard to say. I just
picked him up at the pound.

Oh. His time was up,
if you know what I mean.

I'd say he's pretty full grown.
Kinda cute, isn't he?

He'll be all right.
Okay, Doc.

Thanks for staying open.
Got these peculiar hours.

Ah, no sweat. My wife doesn't like
music. She watches m*rder mysteries.

So whenever the concert's on,
I work late.

Right. There's not gonna be
any aftereffects, is there?

Oh, no, nothing.

Okay. I haven't named this guy yet.
You don't have any ideas?

There's a name I've always heard,
and I've never seen a dog that had it.

- Fido.
- Fido.

Yeah. Fido, the Romans used
to say. It's as old as that.

It means "I am faithful."
Well, roughly.

Fine.

Wanna get this for me,
Doc?

Mm-hmm.

William. It was lovely.

It was really lovely.
The Mozart was beautiful. Ah, darling.

The Beethoven was so magnificent.

The orchestra, all the work
we put into it really paid off.

It was so exciting.
We were at one together!

We were fantastic.

- Did you hear it?
- Alex.

Jenifer Welles is dead.

The police say she committed su1c1de.

I can't stand su1c1de.

m*rder is bad,
but su1c1de is sadder.

Did you read this?

I browsed through it.

This is what they gave me.

This is the dossier
that they gave me.

"Female Caucasian, piano player,
born Kenosha, Wisconsin."

This is what they gave me.

Now look what I find
in the scrapbook.

"Miss Wells, London. Miss Wells, Paris.
Miss Wells. Miss Wells. Miss Wells."

"Genius. Superb. Talented. Magnificent.
Feeling. Taste. Fabulous."

Look what the department
gives me.

"Female Caucasian, piano player,
born Kenosha, Wisconsin."

Look what I find in the scrapbook.
Look at these pictures.

Girl has a wonderful shape,
don't you think?

Look at those eyes. Bedroom eyes.

Look what the department gives me.

"Female Caucasian, piano player,
born Kenosha, Wisconsin."

No bleach there. Regular hair.

No fear there.
No heavy makeup.

Got a girl with a body,
money and a career.

Got some column items to show the crowd
she went with. Best people.

Dukes, earls, politicians.
Big people.

So add that. What's missin'?

Somethin'.

A man. The man.
A person, somebody.

Woman like that's gotta have
somebody. Eyes like that.

But that's me. I'm paranoiac.

Every time I see a dead body,
I think it's been m*rder*d.

Can't imagine anyone
murdering themselves.

Especially a young girl
like that. Beautiful eyes.

But that's me. I like to see
everyone die of old age.

Excuse me.

What is it, Lieutenant?

Sorry?

Anything wrong?

Oh, no. I'm just checking on my dog.
He's out in the car.

Did you see the note she left?

Uh, in the typewriter?

Yeah.

Yeah, I saw it.
Has that been printed yet?

No. I was just
gonna check on it.

Uh-huh. Well,
get that printed.

Sergeant,
don't touch the paper.

- No.
- Leave the paper just the way it is.

Sure, sure.

Good.

Sorry, sir.
You can't come in.

I'm Alex Benedict.

Let him in.

Miss Welles was supposed
to appear at the Bowl tonight.

Hello. I'm the conductor
of the symphony there.

We're all deeply concerned
about what has happened here.

- I'm Sergeant Meyer.
- Oh.

Can you tell us anything
about Miss Welles?

Not really. Not about this.

I only knew her
as a great artist.

What time was she
due at the Bowl?

Around 7:30. We phoned
when she didn't come.

Her line was busy.

When we finally reached the operator,
there was no one on the line.

That's when my assistant,
William Johnson, called you. The police.

Sergeant, radio call.

Excuse me, please.

Find something?

I dropped my flower.
My coat must have knocked it off.

The pin is bent. I'm Lt. Columbo.
I'm a fan of yours, a really big fan.

In fact, I just got
your latest album.

Thank you. I didn't realize that
you were interested in piano concertos.

No, no. I'm talking about
the album of Strauss waltzes.

"The Blue Danube."
You know the one I mean?

Yes. I 'd forgotten that.

My wife and I, we both love it.
We play it every once in a while.

You've given us both
a great deal of pleasure.

Thank you.
That's very flattering of you.

Did you see this?

Isn't that awful?

Uh...

You don't know any reason...

why Miss Welles might have
taken her own life?

No, I don't.
It's very shocking.

But then, I didn't know her very well,
except professionally.

By the way, you mentioned that
Miss Welles was due at the Bowl at 7:30.

What time were you going
to arrive, sir?

Around 5:30, I think.

My wife dropped me off.

You don't drive?

Oh, yes, I drive.

I left my car overnight
at my mechanic's.

Why do you ask?

No, I was just trying
to establish a time sequence.

- What time she would have left here.
- That's interesting.

- Alex!
- He's a friend of mine.

Oh. Officer?

Paul. I know...

I don't get it.
I just don't get it.

Why? Why would she
k*ll herself? Why?

Paul, you knew her very well, you...

She could not have! No!

Get a hold of yourself.

- She wouldn't!
- Come and see me tomorrow.

Come and see me tomorrow.
Go ahead now.

Lieutenant, if there's any way
you think I might help,

please don't hesitate
but to call me.

Pleasure meeting you.

Well. Yes.

Why'd she do it, Mr. Benedict?

The world of music has lost
one of its brightest lights.

Jenifer Welles was
an incredibly talented artist.

I'm sorry, that's all, folks.
Thanks.

Hi.

Is this your dog?

Yeah, I guess it is.

How would you like it
if somebody locked you up like that?

With the windows closed
and everything!

I didn't want him get out.

Then leave the window open a cr*ck.

Okay. That's a good idea. You see,
this happens to be my first dog,

and I just haven't gotten
onto the ropes yet.

I appreciate your telling
me that, Miss, uh...

What's your name?

You're not gonna tell me?
Well, my name's Lieutenant Columbo.

Okay, then. My name's Audrey,
if you want to know.

You live around here, Audrey?

Yes. But if you're gonna question me,
you're gonna have to tell me my rights.

No, that's wrong.

I only have to tell you your rights
if you're a suspect.

You're not a suspect. And besides,
I'm just makin' conversation.

I suppose you heard
about Miss Welles.

Of course. She was my friend.

I always took care of Chopin when
she had to go away and play a concert.

Yeah, who's Chopin?

Her bird. The cockatoo.
Didn't you see him?

Oh, yeah. Now I remember.

Chopin was a composer.
He wrote piano pieces.

She named her bird after him.

I see. Well, listen, Audrey,
it's been nice talkin' to you.

And I appreciate the advice
about the dog.

What's his name?

You know, I don't know the name yet.
What do you think about "Fido"?

Oh, wow. How'd you ever
think of that one?

Beethoven. Would you like to
be called Beethoven?

Hmm? I guess not.

Janice? Janice.

I'm not asleep. How was it?

Well, a lot of police.

Very depressing.

I thought you were going
to your mother's party.

No, I didn't go.

What is it? What'd you do,
take a sleeping pill?

Yeah. A little while ago.
It's starting to take effect.

All right. Let's go upstairs.

How well did you know her,
Alex?

- Oh, you know.
- I don't know.

What is that supposed to mean?

You know her phone number
by heart.

I know a lot of telephone numbers
of people I work with by heart.

- Want some water?
- Yes.

Alex.

What?

Never mind.

Go ahead, ask me. I know
what you're gonna ask anyway.

The answer is no,
we didn't make love.

In the first place, I have a rule.

Never any complications
with people I work with.

And what's in the second place? Me?

You're always imagining that
I'm leaping into beds all over town.

I've never done that.

Oh, Alex, don't. I know you.

Why do all these people
feel that they know me?

I feel like I'm being
seen through.

As if I'm in some
constant masquerade.

I'm just myself. Look at me.

I'm just me. I am what you see.

Now, what do you think
happened?

You think I made love to Jenifer
and then she k*lled herself for me?

No, no, no.
No, I don't. I...

I don't know what I'm thinking
sometimes. I'm sorry.

I really am sorry.
I'm just nice, sweet little Janice.

Nice little Janice. I'm awful.
The things I think!

Tell me why.

No, I can't.

Why... Why did you marry me?
Sometimes I wonder why you married me.

I mean, I'm not talented,
I'm nothing. Why?

Why me?

Just one reason.

What?

I love you.

Ah.

- Yes?
- Mr. Benedict home?

You musician?

No, cop.

- Cop?
- Policeman.

C-O-L-U-M-B-O. Me.

Oh! Come in, please.
You musician.

You stay. Mr. Benedict!

Mr. Benedict! Mr. Benedict!

All right. All right.

All right, now. Take it easy,
now. Take it easy.

I never got to ask you last night
what I wanted to ask you.

There's a time and a place
for everything.

Last night was the wrong time.
su1c1de's depressing...

Anyway, I happened to be
in the neighborhood today...

That's not true.

I really came out here to see ya.
I don't wanna appear presumptuous.

All right. Let's go inside.

- We'll be more comfortable.
- No, no.

No, no?

I'm not goin' in there.
I'm not messin' up the room.

I have a wife. I know what that is.
You arrive in the morning unannounced...

I never got to ask ya last night
what I wanted to ask ya.

Go ahead.

Terrific place. Terrific.

Thank you. We like it.

Could I take a look
in there? Just a quick look.

Go ahead.

Gotta be a 40-foot living room.
Forty by 20.

Dining room's 15 feet deep.
I can't see the rest.

Windows, windows, windows.
Ideal. This is a dream house.

I'm glad you like it.

You're from New York?

Yeah, I'm from New York.

Better out here, right?

Well, it's more comfortable.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Please.

What do you pay in taxes
on this place?

$18,000 a year.

Three times 18, carry the 24,
seven down, bring down the zero...

Place cost you 720,000.

Seven hundred fifty thousand.

Could I look in there?

Yeah, go ahead.

Listen, uh... How did you arrive
at that figure, 750,000?

It's real estate rule of thumb.
It's a trick. No magic.

I'm not an appraiser
or anything like that.

Can I ask you something?

Go ahead.

How much you got
in the furniture?

Oh... Two hundred thousand,
100,000,

give or take 100,000.
Something like that.

I'll take it.

- Can I ask you a personal question?
- Yes.

Did you have anything specific that
you wanted to talk to me about?

No, I'm gonna get to that, but
I'm fascinated by money. Aren't you?

Yeah, I'm fascinated by money,
for what it can do. That's all.

Yeah, yeah. Anyway,
what I was gonna ask you is this:

How much do you make?

I think that's very impertinent.
How much do I make?

- Tours?
- I don't know.

- Concerts?
- I don't know.

Publishing?
Et cetera, et cetera.

I make $11,000 a year.

So at $11,000 a year,
I got $750,000 for the house,

$18,000 in taxes,
200 in furniture.

How much help do you have?

I have five, including the gardener.

You got that, and the money,
plus, plus, plus...

11,000 times 10 years, 110,000.

11,000 times a hundred a year,
1.1 million...

Well, let's say 900,000.

That's 90 years work for me
just to live here, without eating.

What's the point?

Well, I guess the point
got delayed...

because I got so
wrapped up in the house.

I told you that my wife and I
are big fans of yours, didn't I?

Well, there's a lot of snobbery
among the wives.

'Cause in my line of business,
we meet a lot of people.

So one lieutenant,
he brings home one guy's,

and another lieutenant,
he brings home another guy's.

So when the wives get together,
they can say, "I got an actor,"

"I got a district attorney."

I thought it would be nice
if my wife had a conductor's autograph.

Would you mind signing this?

What do you want me to say?

Just put your name.
That'd be good enough.

Thank you very much.
I appreciate you taking the time.

- I'll see you later, love.
- Okay.

- Kiss.
- Mmm. Bye.

Well, Mike. All set?

- She's right over there, sir.
- Thank you.

Who's that?

Don't know.
He said he was a friend of yours.

Lieutenant.

Oh, hi, maestro.
How's everything?

Uh, fine. Would you mind telling me
what you think you're doing?

What a car.
What a piece of machinery!

I mean, just sitting in this
thing makes me feel good.

I smell this leather,
I feel the felt.

I look at this wood. I wanna tell you,
all my life I wanted a car like this.

Of course, on my salary,
forget about it.

If you're through enjoying
yourself, I really have some work to do.

Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Boy, it sounds like
a bank vault.

Might as well,
it cost enough.

What was wrong with it?

Oh, you know, these foreign cars
are touchy.

Get sick,
they have to be cured.

That's why I have Mike,
he's a genius at this sort of thing.

Uh, Lieutenant, you didn't come
up here to check on my car, did you?

No. No, sir, I didn't.

I'm gonna be very honest with
you, sir. I came here because...

I wanted to talk with you.

All right. I'm here.

I'm very upset by this
Jenifer Welles thing.

Yeah. So am I.

You know, I was up half of
the night. I couldn't sleep.

I kept going over in my mind.
I couldn't figure it out.

Why, why, why would a girl
like this...

young, beautiful, talented girl
with everything to live for...

Why does she take her life
like that?

Although I didn't know her
very well,

there's something about
artists that I do know.

You see, artists are very,
very delicate. They're strange.

They go up, and they come down,
and they go up,

and when they come down,
they go down, down, down,

and they get distraught.
They get full of emotions.

They get unable to cope with anything.

And we don't realize this
until it's too late.

Tsk. Yeah.

You don't sound
terribly convinced about that.

No, no.
You're probably right.

Yes. Well, I have a confession
that I would like to make.

- May I tell you something?
- Yes.

I had a thought. Listen to this.

What if she didn't commit su1c1de?

Isn't that peculiar?
Because that's what I was gonna say.

That I was awake
almost all night...

thinking about the same thing.

No kidding.

Yes, only I rejected the idea.

Why is that?

Because su1c1de, I mean,
it's so complex,

and we are always, in our normal
everyday life, unable to accept it.

But it happens. People k*ll
themselves all the time.

And in this instance,
the evidence seems so overwhelming.

Oh, she could have passed out
from the gas.

She could have fallen off that chair,
and she could've bumped her head,

but, you know, that was
a pretty good bump.

You know, someone
could've hit her.

That's just an assumption
on your part.

Right.
Very difficult to prove.

You know there's something else
that bothers me.

I was speaking
to that little girl next door.

And this thing will hang me up
if I live to be...

Aren't they beautiful?

Hmm?

They really knew how to make
cars in those days, didn't they?

Will you look at the lines
on that car?

Spoked wheels.
Isn't this a honey? Ah?

Oh, if they would make 'em
like that today.

It's beautiful. Beautiful.

Isn't it something?
Where was I?

You were saying something
about a little girl.

Right. How'd I get off that?
Well, what's the difference.

About the girl, right.

Yeah, she was a very good friend
of Jenifer. She told me that.

She used to go in there
and take care of Chopin.

Chopin?

The little pet bird she had. Cockatoo.
Never mentioned it to you?

Yes, I guess.
I've simply forgotten.

I guess you forgot
the name. Right.

Anyway, she had this pet bird...
Very strange.

What do you mean, strange?
How strange?

Had this bird for years.

Now, you have to love those
birds to keep 'em,

because they're plenty of trouble.

Believe me.
This is what I can't figure out.

Why didn't she take the trouble to save
that bird before she turned on the gas?

She was simply distraught
and just forgot.

What about the su1c1de note?

You know there's something
funny about that.

You know, most of those notes
are written by hand.

This one was typed.

She typed everything.
I have to go.

How'd you know that?

Come on. Let's walk and talk.

How do you know that?

She had about the most
illegible scrawl in the world.

She couldn't read
her own handwriting.

All of her rehearsal notes
to me, they were always typed.

Oh.

You must have checked the
typewriter for her fingerprints.

Yeah. Yeah,
they were all hers.

There you are. Listen,
you don't mind if I go, do you?

I'm a little late.

Oh.

Listen, I really appreciate you taking
the time to chat with me like this.

You know, this is a lonely business,
and it's nice...

just to have someone that you...
well, just air out your thoughts with.

I know it's shocking...
shocking when you think about su1c1de.

The word. Now, see, I can understand
how she might have k*lled herself.

But what possible reason
for someone to k*ll her?

Right. That's right.
You got me there.

I feel so sorry for you,
really. Good luck to you.

Be careful. Careful.

Excuse me. If you have a moment,
could you take a look at my car?

Sure.

You've got some terrific
old automobiles here.

Thanks. They are lovely,
aren't they?

That one there, that's
the love of my life.

That's my favorite too.

Wonderful car.

Lovely old car, that one.

Now. There it is.

- This is your car?
- This is my car.

Well, exactly what
do you think's wrong with it?

Tell you the truth,
I think the engine is missing.

But you know I can't be sure.

Because the shock absorbers,
they're so old...

that the whole ride is very bumpy.

I'll start it up for you.

Open the hood.

I guess you don't have these kind of
problems with a car like Mr. Benedict's.

Not quite, no.

What was wrong with his car?
Nothing serious, I suppose.

No. He just felt it was idling
a little too fast for him.

What do you think of this?

You ever thought about
getting a new car?

No. I already have two cars.

Of course my wife's car
is nothing special.

That's just for transportation.
You understand.

I only work on foreign cars.

This is a foreign car.

I know, but...
There are limits, mate. You know.

Uh, listen... Excuse me,
I just thought of something.

You know, you seem very cramped here
and I was wondering.

What do you do? You leave all these
valuable cars out at night?

Not the customer's cars, no.
They get locked up every night.

Oh, I see. You only leave
your own cars out, the ones for sale.

That's right.

Thank you.

Here's your table, sir.

Everett!

Ah!

Imagine seeing you here.

Lunch here every day, Liz.

- Hi, Janice.
- Hello.

You know Bill Durkee,
don't you? Mrs. Fielding.

American News Service.
Of course.

Hello, Mrs. Benedict.

Liz, I'm so sorry
about the Welles girl.

City editor tried to reach me
last night, but I was out on the yacht.

There isn't anything more
you could tell us, Mrs. Benedict,

about why she may have
k*lled herself?

I... I don't...
Didn't even know her.

I thought perhaps your husband
might have an idea.

Poor little thing.
Such a lovely talent.

Oh, that reminds me.

I was dictating some notes
to my secretary this morning.

I have asked
the symphony board...

to approve a scholarship
donation in the name of Jenifer Welles.

I'm so glad I bumped into you.

What do you think?

Good idea. I'll spread it
in all my morning papers.

- May I keep this?
- Yes.

Might even replace
some of the tabloid stuff.

You can't blame reporters.

There's always a good deal of
guessing when someone famous...

But it would be nice...

if we could just stop any
unpleasant publicity, don't you think?

For the sake of our wonderful
symphony organization?

You see, Mr. Durkee,
Miss Welles was not...

Well, she was
really not one of us.

She was rather new in town,

and heaven knows
what her background was.

Okay, Lizzy.
I'm still on the board too, remember?

We'll see that nobody gets hurt
by this. Don't you worry.

Bye, Janice. Have a nice lunch.

You too.

So that's why
you wanted to eat here.

Well, I don't want Alex to be
pestered and upset by any nonsense.

We've a very important season
coming up.

Mother, what was she like?

Who? The Welles girl?
Very nice in Chopin.

But I don't think she had
the technique for the concerts.

No, I mean personally.
Was she...

Do you think she was
the kind of woman...

men would have found
attractive, for instance?

Why would you ask that?
What a silly question.

She was a pianist, the poor dear.

Something that should
concern none of us.

Now I'll order for you.

Forgive me, I didn't mean to...

you know, use your piano, but I
just couldn't resist this thing.

I've wanted to play the piano
ever since I was a kid,

but I could never afford it.

- You play beautifully.
- Thank you.

I haven't heard "Chopsticks"
since I was a little boy.

Right.

You know, you're...
you're quite a magician.

Not too many people could find me here.
How did you do this?

Oh, I just called your wife.

She's a very accommodating person.

Oh, yes. She's a very
charming woman, delightful woman.

All right, Columbo.
What can I do for you this time?

Yes, sir. I came here
because the other day we were...

talking about that su1c1de note,
and I've got something here that...

I thought you might
find interesting.

Uh, this is the typewriter.

This is Jenifer Welles's.

Yeah, how'd you know?

I simply surmised it. I, uh,
I was there the other night.

You remember that?

Oh. Oh, gee.
You're very observant.

Well, thank you very much.

Uh, now, I don't know
how much typing you do.

Not too much. I have a secretary
that handles most of that for me.

Now, look. I'm gonna explain
something to you,

and the minute you don't understand it,
feel free to stop me.

- All right, I will.
- Okay.

Now, this is complicated.
I want to get it clear myself.

A person puts a piece of paper in the
typewriter and he types something.

Then he takes it out.
Then he puts the paper down.

Now he remembers he wants to add
something else. All right?

He picks up the paper,
puts it into the typewriter,

and rolls the paper down so that
the keys are lined up...

exactly the way they were before.

You're still with me.

- I'm standing here.
- Right.

Okay. That's good. That's good.

Now, here's the problem.

If you were to type over a letter,
you'd always be a little bit off.

Come here. Watch what I mean.

If I show it to you,
you'll see what I mean.

I'm gonna take
the letter "S" here,

and I'm gonna type over
the original "S."

Take a look.
You see what I mean?

The second "S" doesn't match
with the first "S."

That's because you rolled the paper
back in wrong after you took it out.

That paper is just the way we found it.

That paper's never been touched.

Ah, I see.

Well, let me see if I can understand
what you're saying.

You're suggesting...

that the paper was typed,
taken out and then put back.

That's right.

Now, here's the problem
with that theory.

Why would a woman
who's gonna commit su1c1de...

type a good-bye note, put it in the
machine and take it out again?

I don't know.

All right. Suppose she didn't type it.

Suppose somebody else typed it.

All right, who? Who did it?

Whoever m*rder*d her.

You know, Lieutenant,
you're really a cocky fellow.

You're very sure of this,
aren't you?

I think that there is a very distinct
possibility of m*rder in this case. Yes.

I think there's a possibility,
but I don't think it's distinct.

Suppose the m*rder*r
in this case was a friend of hers.

Suppose the m*rder*r was a man...

who had access to her house,
came whenever he wanted to,

typed up that letter beforehand,
when she wasn't around.

Promise me you'll think about it.

When you come up with the correct
answer, you'll let me know.

I'm gonna take a nap now.
Will you excuse me?

Suppose it was you.

I heard you say something,
but I wasn't sure what you said.

I said, "Suppose it was you."
I'm not saying it was you, sir.

I was just thinking out loud.

You know, you're
an audacious fellow.

I have a theory, and I would
like to use you as an example.

- If you don't mind.
- Oh, please, use me as your example.

Uh, suppose... Here.

You take your car to Mike's Garage.
Your wife picks you up.

She drives you here.

You're really intrigued
with my little car, aren't you?

Well, I am, sort of, because
Mike didn't find anything wrong with it.

And it would be a wonderful place
to leave it if you wanted to prove...

you didn't have a car.

Why would I wanna prove that?

Well, if you didn't have a car,

how would you get to Miss Welles's apartment
and back in time for the performance?

You can't take a cab, because
they keep records, and there's no buses.

You can't rent a car,
because you have to show your license.

Getting in and out of here
undetected, that wouldn't be too tough.

You know your way around
pretty good.

All right, all right.
Go on.

Then you walk to Mike's place.
It's only 3 1/2 minutes. I timed it.

You get in somehow
through an open window, whatever.

You take out the car.
You drive to Miss Welles's apartment,

commit the crime, replace the car,
and you walk back here.

Is that it?

Well, I don't know.
I think it's...

a little thin, Lieutenant,
especially that bit about the car.

You know, that business about the car.
I don't think that's very good.

Right, right. That is thin.
Yeah. The car.

Except for the fact that
you forgot about the mileage.

- I forgot the mileage?
- Yeah.

You know when you bring a car
into a garage,

they note down the mileage.

And I looked at your car
the morning after the crime.

And the speedometer showed nine miles
more than when you brought it in.

Of course, you drove that route from
Mike's Garage to Miss Welles's house.

Exactly nine miles.

I think you might have
something there, Lieutenant.

Of course, one of the garage mechanics
could have taken my car...

and driven it around
just to test it.

They don't remember that,

They don't remember that?

No, sir.

Well, I'm having a little difficulty
imagining this hypothetical court case.

There's no real proof.
There's uncertain garage mechanics.

No, I don't think your theory
holds up too well, Lieutenant.

You see, I didn't k*ll
Jenifer Welles.

And it looks almost like a certainty
to me that her untimely death...

will go down as
an official su1c1de.

Well, sir, I want to thank you
very much for your time.

Anytime, Lieutenant.

Right. Here, I don't want
to forget my cigar.

Good day.

Oh, listen.
Just one more thing. Uh...

I know you don't agree, but
at least I've convinced my superiors...

that Jenifer Welles was m*rder*d
it was not a su1c1de.

And they've officially
assigned me to the case.

That's my specialty,
you know: homicide.

Hey, hey, man,
this place is closed.

Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.

Say, aren't you Paul Rifkin?

Yeah. Do I know you?

Yeah, from the other night.
The homicide guy.

Oh, yeah, yeah. The cop.

- How are ya?
- All right.

I thought you played
in a symphony orchestra.

Well, that's for serious.
This is fun.

I get paid for both.
I can always use a little extra bread.

- You guys are terrific.
- Oh, yeah. Fantastic.

So?

Oh, no. No, I happened
to be in the neighborhood.

I stopped next door.
I bought a cigar,

the guy was out of a match,
I heard the music.

I came in, I thought I'd get
a match. Do you have a match?

I got a match.

Hey, guys.
Run through "Lover Man."

You're not for real, Lieutenant.

The only thing next door
is a Laundromat.

It used to be a cigar store.

You're not a jazz freak. You made a
special trip over here to see me. Why?

I thought that you were very
upset the other night, Paul.

I'm better now.

Life goes on, right?

You know that every expert
in this case believes that...

Jenifer Welles k*lled herself?

If that's so, why are you here?

'Cause you don't believe it.
You think she was m*rder*d.

You're the cops. You figure it out.

That's what I'm trying to do,
and I came here for help. Listen!

I was there the other
night. I heard what you said.

I heard what you said to
Mr. Benedict.

That woman cannot k*ll herself.

"No way." That's exactly
what you said.

I was in shock.

Well, you must have
known her pretty well.

Oh... well,
I can just, uh...

see the little wheels
go clickety click.

Yeah. We had a little number.

She broke it off.
I wasn't destroyed or anything.

I, uh, We were good friends
afterwards.

Why'd she break it off?

She said she'd discovered
an important new man.

What does that mean, "important"?

Does that mean it was important
because she was in love with him?

Or important because
he was a famous man?

You're playing word games.
I'm not ready for this.

But you do think
if the man was involved...

I don't think anything!
I was in shock. All right?

Is that it?

- Thank you for the time.
- Mm-hmm.

Listen, Paul.

Do you happen to know
the name of the other guy?

I never asked.

Sure. Why would a guy ask his girl
the name of the other man?

Oh! It skipped.

Oh, that's all for now.

Thank you, Doug.

- See you Tuesday.
- Okay.

Hello! May I help you?

I'm from the police, ma'am.
Uh, Lieutenant Columbo.

Oh? Well, I'm...
I'm Mrs. Benedict.

How do you do, ma'am.

What can I do to help you?

Oh, well, actually,
I just stopped by to see your husband.

The maid gave me permission
to wait here. I hope you don't mind.

No, of course not.

Beautiful place you have here.

Thank you. Thanks very much.

Really beautiful.
You do your own gardening?

Well, we have a gardener, but
I like to do the flowers whenever I can.

Beauties.
What are they, carnations?

Yes, that's right.
They are. They're...

Dianthus caryophyllus, that's
the technical name, but that's...

Border carnation,
they... they grow smaller...

and a little bit scrubbier
than the florist carnations.

Terrific for a lapel flower.

Well, I grow them
especially for Alex.

You know, he likes to, uh, wear
a boutonniere when he conducts.

- How about a glass of ice tea?
- Oh, no. Thank you very much.

- You sure?
- Sure.

Would... Would you mind me
asking you, Mr. Columbo,

what... what you wanted
to talk to Alex about, exactly?

Oh, yeah. That, uh...

Mm, throat. Think I will have
a little of that tea.

No, I was, uh, talking to
your husband about Miss Welles.

I want to talk to everyone
that knew her intimately.

Oh, I... I beg your pardon.

I really don't think
that Alex knew her...

better than any of the other
artists that he works with.

Oh, no. I meant no offense.

I only meant working together
such long hours, two people and...

We have this new development
in the case.

I thought he'd be able to help me.

Well, I don't know what
you mean. What case?

Oh, maybe you haven't heard.
We think Miss Welles was m*rder*d.

m*rder*d?

Yeah, we think so. Yeah.

I just learned that she was having
an affair with someone.

Oh, well, I'm... I'm really
not interested in that, Lieutenant.

I, um... And I certainly don't think
that Alex could be of any help to you.

Why do you say that, ma'am?

Well, because Alex
doesn't mix in with...

the, uh, private lives of the artists.

You know that for certain?

Of course I do.
What are you implying?

No. I'm not
implying anything. No, I...

I just didn't know how you knew
what he didn't do or what he...

I'm really not interested in
talking about this any further.

Will you excuse me, please?

What is it, darling?

This gentleman would
like to speak with you.

Gee, I didn't mean to get off
on the wrong foot with her like that.

Look here, Lieutenant, I'm getting
a little weary of your harassment.

I'm sorry. I really am.

I'd better go.

I'll tell you what happened.

I heard Miss Welles was having
an affair with some other man,

and I came over here because I thought
maybe you had heard something.

Of course, she put me straight on that.
Give her my apologies,

'cause I know I upset her.

- Well, he's gone.
- Well, why did he come here?

Oh, don't let him annoy you.

I think he's just trying to
make a name for himself.

What is it, Alex?
What is it he's after?

Uh, I don't know, exactly.
I don't think he knows either.

Alex, is there any...
is there anything you should tell me?

Janice, stop it. I'm getting tired
of your insecurities.

Now, stop hounding me.

I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to get mad at you.

I'm not mad at you.

Give me a smile.

That's not much of a smile
Come on. Eat your food.

- Hi, Audrey.
- Hi.

You remember me?

Of course, you're
the man with the dog.

Have you named him yet?

No. I'm... I'm
still working on that.

Listen. I got to tell you something.

I'm very impressed with you.

Oh, really?
Is it my body or my mind?

Well, it's both really. No,
seriously, Audrey, give me a break.

What I'm trying to say is,
that for a young girl,

you're a very
independent-minded person.

Don't bother with any
male chauvinistic compliments.

Is that what that was?
Look. I'm sorry. Forgive me.

If you're trying to butter
me up, that's not the way.

So, what do you want to know?

You're gonna ask
about Jenifer, aren't you?

You got me. Yes.

Okay. Ask. If I don't want
to tell you, I won't.

If I do, I will.

All right. That's fair enough.

Now, this is what
I want to ask you.

Did you spend a lot of time
in Jenifer's apartment?

Sure, she used to tell me
how to handle men.

Ah, did you meet
many of her men friends?

Not exactly. Every time
he'd come around, I'd have to leave.

Who's he?

The one in the tuxedo.

Darling, please. Just one second.

The one in the tuxedo,
did he come often?

Yeah. In fact, I saw him leave
her apartment the same day she...

You know.

- Did you know his name?
- No.

If you saw him again,
would you recognize him?

Of course.

How are you? Is it all right to go in?
I'm from the police.

Oh, sure. It's just a rehearsal.

Fine. Thank you very much.

What are they rehearsing?

They're scoring the music
for a documentary film.

I see. Thank you.
Is it all right to smoke?

Oh, sure. It's okay.

All right. Thank you
very much, gentlemen.

Jimmy, what did you think?

Beautiful. Great. That's it.
Shall we try to make one?

Uh, I want to...
speak to Paul a second.

Just hold on one second, gentlemen.

Uh, Paul,
let me show you something.

When you come in,
you know, it's...

Mr. Benedict.

Yeah. More dynamics.

Mr. Benedict. Excuse me. Sir.

My friend, enough is enough.

Forgive me.

I'm terribly sorry about
bursting in like this, but...

Enough is enough.

This is really important.

Will you explain to the orchestra
what's so important?

Do you see
this little girl here?

Well, the night Miss Welles
was m*rder*d,

Audrey here, she's a friend
of Miss Welles and a neighbor...

and she saw a man in a tuxedo
leaving her apartment.

Now, Audrey,

do you see that man here now?

- Sure.
- You want to point him out?

That's him.

I know it isn't
very nice publicity,

but I hate to see us
lose a brilliant musician.

But the man's been
accused of m*rder!

Jenifer Welles was
a beautiful musician too.

He isn't accused of m*rder.
He's being questioned.

That's right,
he's just being questioned.

Nevertheless... Nevertheless,
there are...

sufficient grounds to
dismiss this Paul Rifkin.

Why was he trying to hide?

He's unsavory anyway,
with his surly manner...

And his excessive drinking.

His excessive drinking has nothing
to do with this meeting, Louise.

Am I too late for the lynching?

This is not a lynching, Alex.
What do you want?

I just dropped in to defend Paul.
I thought he might need a friend.

Well it's noble of you to come
galloping to the rescue,

but there's no reason to assume
that we're planning a hanging.

May I say that Paul Rifkin
is a rare and special talent.

So we've heard, but surely
there are others just as good.

Maybe, maybe, but I don't think
that's the point.

I'd say if you fire Paul,

you hurt the orchestra.
That's my only feeling.

What about the damage
caused by the scandal?

Hear, hear.

I think it's an accepted custom...

to presume innocence
until proven guilty. No?

Thank you, Arthur. I'm positive
that Paul will be cleared.

I think you ought to
give him a break.

Paul's been in a lot of trouble
in his life,

but it's been
a long time since then.

I think he's straightened out
beautifully.

What kind of trouble, Mr. Benedict?

I really don't think
that's the point.

And I really think we
should be the judges of that.

You have the floor, Alex.

Well, I...

I met Paul at the
Juilliard School of Music.

I was lecturing there at the time.

He was suffering from a rather
nightmarish family background.

He loved music.
He was a natural talent.

He bumped into some people,
and got himself into a scrape,

and ended up in jail.

It's been a long climb for Paul,
but I think he's made it.

What were the charges?

It's been eight years.
Let's give him a break.

What was the charge?

- as*ault.
- Ah!

I see.

I mention this only to show that
Paul needs our sympathy and support.

Because whatever happened
to him was just bad luck.

It could have happened to anyone.
Might have happened to you.

You have a powerful friend
and supporter, Mr. Rifkin.

Alex Benedict tried his best
to defend you.

That's great,
but there's nothing to defend.

He won our sympathy by telling us
about your unfortunate background,

including your struggle
against some bad associations.

Associations?

It seems you had
questionable taste in friends.

Well, some of them were busted
for smoking grass.

So what? Two members
of the board of trustees...

are on indictment
for breaking antitrust laws.

I wouldn't try to be funny,
Mr. Rifkin.

I smoke grass sometimes,
just about like you drink gin.

Didn't you ever have a drink
of gin during...

Prohibition,
when gin was illegal?

And let's not get smart
about how old I am.

If you're trying to win me over,
you're not making it, sonny.

I'm not trying to
win anybody over.

I just don't like getting ripped off
for something that I didn't do.

Well you must admit you have
a talent for attracting trouble.

You have a jail record
for as*ault on a woman.

Well, Mr. Benedict really
gave me quite a defense.

Yeah, I punched a lady,
right in the nose.

She was trying to steal
my wallet when I was asleep.

I woke up swinging, and hit her
before I knew what I was doing.

Nobody believed me.

Well I'm not interested
in the sordid details,

and I'm not judging you.

I didn't k*ll Jenifer!
I couldn't. Never.

Why not?

I loved her!

Uh, look, uh, Mrs. Fielding.
I'm just about flipped out lately.

It's true. I was there
the day that it happened.

I've already told this
to the lieutenant.

I was really hung up on her.

I mean, all the way,
and it wasn't like that with her.

You don't have
to tell me all this.

No, I want to tell you,
and I want the lieutenant to tell you.

Three months ago, she fell in love
with somebody else, really bad.

And it... broke me up.

I couldn't... stop seeing her,

and she let me...
in between seeing him.

I was there a lot. But whenever
he was coming I had to split.

She wouldn't tell me who it was.
She said it had to be a secret.

And I was there that evening.
I went to the door. Nobody answered.

And that's all...
That's all there is to tell.

It's the truth.
The lieutenant believes me. Tell her.

- That's right. I don't believe he did it.
- You think it was the other man.

Well, the other man's
always a possibility.

I keep wondering
why you tried to hide this.

Why you didn't come forward before.

Because I figured I'd lose my job.

That I wouldn't have a chance
to explain anything.

Mr. Rifkin, I am concerned
with my orchestra.

I have spent 25 years
making it what it is today...

and gouging people for money to build
the symphony association.

Aside from my daughter,
this is my baby.

And if anybody tries
to hurt either one of them,

he's out... the a*... anybody.

But under the circumstances,
let's say you're not fired.

However, until this case is cleared up,

you'll have to be suspended
with salary.

Thank you.
Thank you, Mrs. Fielding.

Now, be a good boy
and vanish... quietly.

Good-bye.
Good-bye, Lieutenant.

Lieutenant Columbo.

Are you there?

Oh, uh...

Would you like a drink?

Did you mean that?
Anybody could get axed?

Without exception.
Would you like a drink?

Even the maestro?
He could get axed?

- You mean Alex?
- Yes.

Especially Alex.

You mind if I have a drink?

Okay, Lieutenant. Here's a tag that
proves he's had his rabies sh*t.

- Now you can get him a license.
- Thanks, Doctor.

License?
Gee, I never thought of that.

Well, you'd better. It's the law.

Cop'll arrest you if he finds him.

Right. All right. Come on, dog.

Hey, you got a name for him yet?

No. I was thinking of watching him...

and giving him a name that fit
something he did,

but all he does
is sleep and drool.

This dog needs a name
that'll give him some stature.

Needs all the help he can get.

How about Jet? Munch?

Say, isn't that...

I get the impression
I heard this concert before.

Yeah.

Is that the one
they played last week?

The educational channel reruns the tapes
of the concerts on Saturday mornings.

That was the night Jenifer Welles
was supposed to play.

You know anything about that case?

So it's on tape.

They got it on tape.
I never thought of that.

All right. I think we should
up-bow on the fourth b*at.

Bar 29... Have a little crescendo
on the downbeat.

All right, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's try it again...

Quasi una fantasia, uh?

Excuse me. Uh, what does
that mean, what he just said?

It's Latin for "like a fantasy."

Thank you very much.

All right, ladies and gentleman.
That's all for today.

We'll try it tomorrow when
you feel more like working.

Thank you very much.

All right, darling.
Shall we go?

Maestro?

Excuse me. I hate to
keep bothering you people,

but I have something
which I think will interest you.

Mr. Columbo, nothing you could
possibly say could interest me.

- Believe that!
- Just come to the TV booth.

It's only gonna take two minutes
to get this whole thing cleared up.

It'll be the last time you
ever see me. I promise that.

- The last time.
- Absolutely the last.

Alex?
Well, I'm sorry. We can't.

Please.

Well, let's get this thing cleared up
once and for all, all right?

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Right this way.

What is this all about?

Well, this is a film projector,
Mrs. Benedict,

and this is videotape equipment.

You can sit right here, anyplace.
Make yourself comfortable.

Would you like something to drink.
Coffee?

Lieutenant, could we
please get on with this?

Certainly.

Mr. Benedict.

Uh...

Now, you always wear a flower in your
lapel when you conduct a concert.

One of your wife's garden flowers,
is that right?

Yes, I do.

Ah, Frank,
would you roll the tape?

That's the opening night
concert, am I right?

Obviously.

Stop!

Thank you, Frank.

Tell me, if you always wear
a flower, where is it?

I don't always wear a flower.

And that night he probably forgot it
because he was very upset...

about Jenifer Welles not showing up.

But I remember you picked up a flower
at Miss Welles's apartment.

Under the piano?
You said you dropped it?

I don't recall doing
anything like that.

Frank, would you
turn out the lights?

Frank, better
turn on the lights.

- How do you work this thing?
- The knob on the right.

- Would you operate it for me?
- Sure.

Frank, want to
turn off the lights?

Thanks.

Why'd she do it, Mr. Benedict?

I'm sorry. All I can say is
the world of music...

has lost one of its
brightest lights.

Jenifer Welles was an incredibly
talented artist. I'm sorry. That's all.

Freeze!

There's the flower.

Now, that's plain as day.
Where did it come from?

I don't know.
What difference does it make?

Well, on the tape at the concert,
you weren't wearing a flower.

Now, on this film coming
out of Miss Welles's apartment,

you have a flower.

Where did it come from?

Are you actually trying to pin
this m*rder on me with... with that?

Yes!

Because the only place
you could've gotten it...

was at Miss Welles's apartment
when you picked it up at the piano.

And that means you had
to have been there earlier.

I'm very disappointed in you, Columbo.

I simply went into my dressing room,

pinned on my flower
after the concert and left.

Janice always brought in
cut flowers every day, didn't you?

Why would you put it on
after the concert?

Why would you put it on
after the concert?

I don't know.
I was in shock. Confused.

I'd just heard that
Miss Welles was dead.

Mrs. Benedict, is that the way
you remember it? You were there.

Did he put on a flower
after the concert?

It's all right, love. Go ahead.

No.

No, he didn't button on
a flower afterwards.

Let me just see you
alone one moment.

I could have stood for anything,
Alex. Anything in the world,

but not m*rder.

I'm guilty. You know that.

Just for the record, I love you.

I've always loved you.

I hope you don't have to
go through your life...

Lieutenant? Uh...
May I speak to you alone?

Uh... This is humiliating.

I admit you're
a great detective.

You knew from the very beginning,
didn't you? I mean right from the start.

I'd like to go.

- Is there anyone I could...
- Officer?

Would you take
Mr. Benedict downtown?

Good-bye, genius.

Bye, Frank.

Gentlemen.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Yes. So am I.

Officer? Would you escort
Mrs. Benedict home?

Frank, you wanna play that again?
The concert?