[Door Slams Shut] Herman's home.
[Clanging]
Lily, either hang those
things so they don't fall down...
or have them tuned.
Lily? Lily!
I have some wonderful news for
you, and I can't keep it in any longer.
I'm busting at the seams.
Well, don't do it in here,
dear. I'm getting supper.
I have to tell you
what happened today.
Mr. Gateman down at the parlor
asked me into his private office,
and he gave me a
great compliment.
He said I'm one of the few people
there who never lies down on the job.
Oh, Herman, you've really
stuck to the job down there.
You've seen a lot of
people come and go.
Well, don't keep us in midair.
What did your boss say?
He gave me a promotion.
He's making me manager
of one of our branch offices.
Oh, manager!
Oh, wait till Grandpa's relatives
in the Old Country hear about this!
They'll really sit up on their
hind legs and take notice.
There's only one thing.
For me to take the job, we have to
sell the house and move to Buffalo.
- Sell the house?
- Sell the house?
That's right.
And then all we Munsters
will just shuffle off to Buffalo.
♪ Oh, I'll go and get my shoesies
and we'll pack up all our bluesies ♪
♪ And away we'll go ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Off we're gonna shuffle
shuffle off to Buffalo ♪♪
[Crashing]
Uh, Spot? Spot!
Go fetch! [Growling]
Bring back Daddy. [Growling]
And,
uh, inasmuch as this new
job touches all our futures,
I thought it very important
to convene the entire family.
Big deal. We were all
sitting here, anyway.
All you had to do
was start talking.
By the way, where's Eddie?
He's spending the weekend with
one of his little friends from school.
Oh, yes.
Well, uh, now,
on the pro side of this thing,
this promotion will mean a
sizable increase in salary, plus...
a lot of other benefits,
which will accrue.
But, on the other hand,
it is also gonna mean that we...
Lily? Grandpa?
Oh, where did everyone go?
Herman, we're all here.
Oh. Oh, yes.
Uh, of course. As I
was saying, now...
Uh, but, on the other hand,
it will also mean selling
this beautiful home,
with all its charm and
graciousness and exquisite furniture.
And I thought that, in a
matter so vital to all of us,
we should put it
to a family vote.
Uh, Lily? Herman,
a wife's place is
with her husband.
Whither thou goest, I shall go.
Good.
Lily has decided to
"whither" with me. Marilyn?
Oh, I'd be happy
to move to Buffalo.
Maybe I'll meet some boys
who won't think I'm so plain.
Good. Grandpa?
It's all right with me.
I'm as free as a bat.
I can pull up stakes anytime.
Fine. Then it's all settled.
I'll call Mr. Gateman, tell
him I'll take the new job,
and we'll put an ad in the
newspaper and sell this house.
There's one person we haven't
consulted yet... little Eddie.
Oh, well, I'm
sure he'll go for it.
Children always adjust very easily
to any new environment. [Chuckling]
It was neat, Eddie, the way
Coach made you catcher...
and picked you for the
captain of the baseball team.
There's a lot of
guys better than me.
What I think sold the
coach was the way you
snagged up those
foul tips with your teeth.
You know, Eddie, now
that you're on our team,
we'll probably win
the city championship.
I hope so. I sure like going to
this school and all the guys I met.
You know, I'd rather live here than
any other place in the whole world.
Last year, our best shortstop's family
moved him to another school district,
and we lost the finals.
So all us guys took an oath
never to speak to him again.
You don't have to
worry about that.
Once, my mother told me we
were gonna live where we are...
for the rest of our lives,
and maybe even longer.
Oh, boy, somebody's stopping.
Naturally. [Chuckles]
This is the kind of house that
would stand out in any neighborhood.
This must be it, Mother.
" Mockingbird Lane."
Oh, my! That's the kind of a house
in those Alfred Hitchcock pictures...
that always gets
hit by lightning.
[Thunderclap]
Oh, my goodness!
Don't sit there, Daddy.
Let's burn rubber!
[Tires Squealing]
Look at the way they took off.
Well, we wouldn't want to sell
it to any hot-rodders, anyway.
My, what a setup, eh, Momma?
First, we run the séances.
Then we make with the phony
ghosts. Then we rake in the dough.
Yeah, Poppa.
Eh, it's a little
clean, but it'll do.
Now listen, kids. Don't steal
nothing till we make the deal, eh?
[Thunderous Knocking]
Yes?
Poppa, what do you think?
I think the gypsies got here
first and spook the place already.
Uh, excuse the intrude.
Uh, good luck, brother.
Grandpa, get inside, quick.
Herman, what's the matter? You look
as black as a sheet. Those were gypsies.
They cast spells, practice sorcery
and give people the evil eye.
Oh, I'm glad they didn't
buy our house. Me too.
I can't stand competition.
Oh, Herman, we've
had open house all day.
And the few people who did
show up didn't even come in.
I just can't understand it.
This house offers everything
a family could want.
And we're close-in, and we have a
beautiful yard with a kidney-shaped swamp.
Oh! Susie, if this
place is for sale,
there must be some
wonderful old relics inside.
Perhaps we can pick
them up for a song.
Oh!
Oh. D-Do you think
we should knock?
I think we should go right in.
The sign says "open house."
[Door Creaking]
Susan, what a quaint old house.
[Gasps] And just look
at this antique hat rack.
Oh! The wormholes
are already in it.
Isn't that fine!
We won't have to drill our own.
Ooh! And just look
at that newel post.
[Both Gasping]
I bet they don't
realize its value.
We'll tell 'em it's a lot of junk
and then practically steal it.
[Both Laughing]
[Growling] [Screaming]
[Tires Squealing]
Uh, did you hear something,
Lily? Oh, that's just Spot, dear.
He's had indigestion
all morning.
Oh. I guess he got out again and
got ahold of some bad telephone poles.
Grandpa, we want you to
sit on the house for a while.
Marilyn and I have to go downtown
shopping, and Herman has to go out too.
Yes. If we're gonna move, we're
gonna have to pack a lot of things.
I'm gonna stop by the parlor
and pick up some empty boxes.
I'll have the house sold
before you get back.
Don't worry about a thing,
Lily. I won't let anyone get away.
Oh, how could you, Grandpa?
What's the matter? If someone goes
for the chicken sandwich, we got a deal.
Grandpa? We'll
have none of that.
What we want is someone who
loves the house for its charm alone.
Spoilsport.
Pops? Pops? Uh, please.
Come on. Wake up! Let me
sleep another hundred years.
Pops. Oh.
I'm sorry. Yeah, tell me something.
This your ad in the paper?
Yes. This the price?
That's right. I'll take it.
You'll take it? But
you haven't seen it yet.
Do you wanna argue
or sell the house?
Yeah, but... Here's a
check for the down payment.
Just sign this contract for
the temporary bill of sale. Ooh!
Well, thank you. Thank you.
Yeah, thank you. Forget it.
Oh, and, uh, Pops,
if I were you, I'd get
back in the house.
You look like you've been
out in the sun too long.
Grandpa, that's wonderful.
You sold the house.
Well, it did take all my charm
and powers of salesmanship,
but I really put on the
pressure and closed that deal.
Now we can move to Buffalo, and
Uncle Herman can take his new job.
Oh, boy, old Hermie's
got it made. [Laughing]
♪ I'll go up and get my shoesies
and we'll pack up all our bluesies ♪
♪ And away we'll go ♪
[Together] ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Off we're gonna shuffle
shuffle off to Buffalo ♪♪
[Laughing]
Hey, what's all the excitement? Did
Grandpa win the Transylvanian sweepstakes?
No, Eddie, but we have some
wonderful, wonderful news for you.
Yeah? Well, I've got some good news
too. It's about the school baseball team.
Eddie, uh, just a minute.
Your father has a new
job. We just sold the house.
And we're all moving to Buffalo.
- Isn't that wonderful, Eddie?
- I won't go!
I won't! I won't! I won't!
You can't make me!
You can't! You can't!
I'm not gonna leave my
friends! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!
You can k*ll me a million,
million times, and I still won't go!
[Door Creaking, Closing] You know, Lily, I
don't think he exactly cares for the idea.
Grandpa, I wonder how
Herman's making out with Eddie.
He's upstairs now,
trying to calm him down.
I had no idea he'd be so upset
about moving and leaving his friends.
I know how it is.
In the Old Country, I was always getting
attached to my friends and neighbors,
especially at night.
Well, one thing about Herman... he has
a way of getting to the heart of a matter.
And so the little rabbit
said to the prairie dog,
"Listen, prairie dog, why
do you take your family...
and move out of a perfectly good
burrow to someplace far away?"
What's a burrow? Burrow?
Well, it's sort of
like a home, sort of.
But what the little rabbit was
trying to tell the prairie dog was...
that he shouldn't move just because he
thought the food was better somewhere else.
I think it's dumb for a rabbit to tell
a prairie dog what to do. Exactly.
And you know what
happened? What?
The prairie dog did move
with his whole family,
and he found out the food was
better and the new burrow was better,
and he made lots of new friends
and everything was... neato!
And the stupid rabbit stayed where
he was and ate the dumb food...
and stayed with his
dumb friends. Right.
And somebody probably caught the rabbit and
painted him pink for Easter or something.
Exactly. That's
what the rabbit got...
for not grasping at an opportunity
and moving to a new place.
So, you see what a good idea it
would be for us all to move to Buffalo?
And the prairie dog probably
got eaten by a kangaroo,
'cause he never saw
kangaroos before, and because
they didn't have kangaroos
where he used to live.
Right. Uh, uh, no.
No. No, wrong. Wrong, wrong.
Uh, Eddie, kangaroos
don't eat prairie dogs.
Uh, they're allergic to them.
And the stupid rabbit
stayed where he was...
and got fat and had pink kids!
Wait a minute.
The prairie dog is the hero
of this story, not the rabbit.
And the rabbit sent letters to the prairie
dog, but they came back unanswered.
So the rabbit knew it was
smarter to stay in his own burrow...
than moving away and
getting eaten up by a kangaroo.
Wait a minute... Boy, Dad,
thanks for telling me the neat story.
Now I can sleep tonight without
worrying about moving to Buffalo.
Gee, Dad, I'm glad you came
up here and explained it to me.
Yeah.
Sure, Eddie. So am I.
Bye, Mom.
Bye, Dad. Bye, son.
Now I can go to school and tell all
the guys that I don't have to move...
and that I can be the captain
of the school baseball team.
Boy, this is the neatest thing that's
happened since Grandpa dug up Spot for me.
Bye, Spot. [Growling]
That happy little skip
in that happy little boy...
is worth a fortune to his
dear, old dad. [Chuckling]
Herman, what happened?
Last night, you went up to explain to
Eddie why we had to move to Buffalo.
Suddenly, this
morning, it's all off.
Well, I tried to explain it to
him, but it just didn't work out.
I guess I should've
used the Three Little Pigs.
You know, I've always
been rotten with prairie dogs.
Well, I'm glad it happened.
It just proves to all of us
how much we love this place.
I agree, Marilyn.
Grandpa, you go call that gentleman
and tell him we want out of the house deal.
I'm gonna go down to the
parlor and tell Mr. Gateman...
that I just can't
take the new job.
Herman, he'll be disappointed,
so let him down gently.
Lily, have no fear.
In my business, we always
let people down gently.
But, Mr. Dennison,
we changed our minds.
What do you mean we
can't? A sales contract?
Bulldozers, wreckers
on their way over now?
[Chuckling] Uh,
Mr. Dennison, just a minute.
You can't talk to me that
way. [Line Disconnects]
I guess he can.
- Can we get our house back, Grandpa?
- I guess not, Eddie.
They're on their way over now
with bulldozers to tear it down.
Grandpa, what'll we do?
Herman's down at the parlor, and
those men will be here any minute.
What'll we do? We'll do what
men have done for centuries.
We'll stand firm and
defend our homes.
We'll man the battlements, flood
the moat and pull in the drawbridge.
But, Grandpa, we don't have
any battlements or any moat.
Marilyn, will you please...
Don't be so technical.
I haven't had so much fun since I
started the French Revolution. [Laughing]
The chains, Eddie!
Right, Grandpa.
[Sinister Laughter]
♪♪ [Humming]
Here's Grandma's best silver.
Grandma's best silver.
Twenty pounds of bobby pins.
That oughta curl their hair.
Uh, here's one
of Eddie's skates.
Oh, Eddie's skates.
♪♪ [Humming]
[Laughs]
Wait till they get a taste of this
cast-iron fruit salad. Here they come!
Oh, I won't fire
unless I have to.
I sure hope I have to.
They think they
can scare us off.
Listen, you people, I bought this
house to wreck it, and I'm gonna wreck it.
Hold off, sir!
Our home is our castle,
and we shall defend it,
down to the last
man, woman and child.
How do you like
them apples, mister?
What is this?
We've run into
trouble like this before.
When we built those
freeways, the little old ladies...
tried to throw themselves
down in front of the bulldozers.
How come those weird getups?
You know these radicals. They'll do
anything to get their picture in the paper.
All right, fellas. Get movin'.
Okay, stand back, people.
We're comin' through.
Okay, they're asking for it.
C'est la vie. That's the
way I goofed at Waterloo.
All right, folks. You had your little
joke. Come on now. Break it up.
Yeah, Pops, knock it off.
What's going on here?
Are they kidding with him?
It's just another one of those Halloween
makeups to try to get us off their backs.
Oh, Herman! It's
been a nightmare.
These men are gonna tear down our house,
and Mr. Dennison won't listen to reason.
So we've been
protecting ourselves.
Lily, please. We'll have
to think this thing over.
After all, we did
sign that paper.
I knew it! I knew it! Little Goody
Two-shoes had to show up.
Grandpa, right is right.
If they bought the house,
they have a right to tear it down.
And you can't just go around aiming a
cannon at everybody without having anarchy.
And anarchy is v*olence.
And v*olence is... very naughty.
What are you going to do, Uncle Herman,
just let them take the house from us?
Marilyn, we shouldn't have signed
that piece of paper without reading it.
No, I'm going to ask them if they'll allow
us a few weeks to find a place to live.
Aw, Pop, let's smash
'em now and talk later.
Eddie, please!
Uh, good afternoon, gentlemen.
[Laughing] Uh, I think there's
something we should discuss.
Listen, jack. I bought this house to
tear it down and put in a parking lot.
So why don't you just get out.
But, sir, uh, uh...
Uh, we... Uh...
Gentlemen, gentlemen, I think
we should talk this thing over.
Uh, now, look.
You seem to be
reasonable types. [Chuckling]
Uh, if you look at
the thing my... Oh.
If you look at the thing my way,
you'll just go back to your office...
and tear up that contract.
[Laughing] [Loud Crash]
You see, Lily? If you reason
with people, they'll see the light.
They were in such a hurry
to get back and tear up
the contract, they left
their machinery behind.
Herman, you saved our home.
Pop, you're a hero.
Oh, shucks, it... it
was nothing. [Laughing]
Herman. Herman, we don't want the
neighbors to think we keep an untidy place.
Go out and pick up the street.
Yes, dear.
[Grunts]
[Sighs] [Crashing]
"And the property, therefore, reverts
to the original owner, Herman Munster."
That's wonderful! That's
great! We have our house back.
Signed R. Dennison.
Hmm. Poor man writes
with a shaky hand.
What did they say
down at the parlor, dear?
Oh, well, Mr. Gateman decided not
to open the branch office in Buffalo.
He says he can't
afford it. Can't afford it?
No. He just went over the
books for the last two months...
and found out we've
been going in the hole.
Oh, hi, Eddie. Eddie, you
home from school so soon?
[Pans Chime] Lily,
you had them tuned!
Eddie, how was
baseball practice today?
[Muffled Chatter]
Eddie, uh, turn around, son.
Come here. Come here.
[Pops]
Herman, there's no
two ways about it.
We're simply going to have
to buy Eddie a catcher's mitt.