"!sis"
Original Air Date on October 22nd, 2010
Clark: Lois.
Cat: Lois Lane? She's the one who got this whole thing started. Calling those costume vigilantes heroes.
Lois: I thought those 'Sex and the City' girls had gaudy taste.
Hawkman: You might tell that to it's owner the goddess Queen !sis. She spent eternity searching for the cut up pieces of her dead husband.
Clark: And now that you are back, are we partners?
Lois: Of course. Unless your disappointed I'm not blonder?
Clark: Cat? She's no Lois Lane.
Oliver: People have these so called vigilantes all wrong. I am Green Arrow.
Tess: Sorry, for everything I've done that's destroyed your trust.
Oliver: You betrayed me, Tess.
Tess: What's your name?
Alexander: I'm Alexander.
Tess: It's okay, I won't hurt you.
Oliver: Yeah, uh so I'm not really sure about the spotlight, you know to me it seems a little ... -
Woman: Necessary. I want everyone to see you the moment you start down from the skylight.
Oliver: You want me to zipline in?
Woman: Oh it'll make the gala. We'll set you up with a wire and harness, imagine their faces as you come flying in daring, invincible, fans will love you.
Oliver: Yeah, alright. [ Chuckles ] Yeah, yeah no I like it. But I'm not going to need the wire, I'll just go ahead and use my grapline g*n for that.
Woman: Ooh, our insurance doesn't cover that; which reminds me do you have a helmet?
Oliver: Uhh ... .
Woman: Ok, no harness, no helmet. So after our guys finish moving everything over to the exhibit hall, we'll set up a platform next to the sarcophagus, which is where you'll land, and then the Green Arrow girls will out.
Oliver; Green Arrow girls? Really?
Tess: Billionaire by day, and hero by night. Oliver you're better than Christmas.
Oliver: Thank you.
Man: Miss Adrianna.
Woman: Excuse me.
Tess: !sis. A tale of eternal love, it's quite a title you chose.
Oliver: You know my love life may not be on the same shape it was when I started funding this project, but uh, I still believe in the story.
Tess: And you're hoping that wherever she may be, some feisty little blonde was gonna get the message?
Oliver: Excuse me.
Tess: If only you still were the same guy that Chloe fell for, and not a caricature of him. What are you up to Oliver?
Oliver: This city has embraced me, I'm trying to give something back.
Tess: Groupie love isn't real love Oliver, you used to know that.
Oliver: You even know what real love looks like anymore?
Woman: Oliver we have a uh, really serious problem. The uh amulet of !sis is uh, missing.
Tess: What a shame, but what do they say Oliver? The show must go on.
Woman: Well as far as I'm concerned, the thief will get what they deserve. According to legend the necklace is cursed, whatever soul dares possess it will be condemned to spend all of eternity in Hell.
Lois: Clark you don't have to hide the truth any longer. I know your secret, and I get why you didn't tell me for so long, but the fact is: knowing you're the Blur just it makes me love you even more.
[ Sighs ]
Lois: And I sound like a bad soap opera. [ Chuckles ] You know what I need? I need a good headline something, something snappy, something like 'hey Clark, you're Blurific'.
[ Chuckles and groans ]
[ Alarm sounds ]
Lois: Damn it, Really? 'Hey Clark, do you remember when the Blur and I kissed?' [ playing Clark's voice ]: 'How could I Lois? I wasn't there.' [ normal voice ]: 'But you were, because I could tell it was you from the kiss.' [ Clark's voice ]: 'Does it change the way you feel about me?' [ chuckles ]
Lois: [ normal voice ] When I realized that the man I loved and the hero I admired, were the same person it was like everything just fit into place. I'm going to start with coffee and donuts. Carpe deim Lois. You can do this, and by tomorrow you will be living in a brand new world. [ Sighs ]
[ Credits roll in ]
Oliver: [ Speaking another language ] Concerned look, stoic silence, what are you wearing anyway?
Clark: I'm telling Lois my secret.
Oliver: Okay, that's officially the biggest news I've heard all day. Why now?
Clark: I saw the future, recently.
Oliver: Okay, now that's officially the biggest news I've heard all day. You know you sound crazy when you talk like that right?
Clark: In the future Lois already knew about me, what I didn't see is how I told her or when. My instincts have always been to keep my secret, but then I see 5 minutes of the future that seems too good to be true, and ...
Oliver: You came over here hoping that I would try to talk you out of telling her, right?
Clark: Uh, no. Maybe.
Oliver: Well, I hate to break it to you, but I say go for it. Coming out was the best thing I ever did, I can finally be myself around here, and it turns out people actually like the real me.
Clark: That is an understatement.
Oliver: Look at this, 'For breakfast after a long night of keeping us safe.' It's the sweetest thing. Oh, and my new favorite cereal. And they sent spoons.
Clark: If I remember correctly you coming out to Lois did not have a happy ending. You told Lois the truth and she dumped you.
Oliver: Uh, we broke up, alright? Look, Lois and I were never really meant to be together. Clark she loves you [ chuckles ] that makes you a lucky man. Take it from me; living without love is not really living it's just sort of ... .existing. The question you have to ask yourself: Is what are you willing to risk for love?
Clark: Morning Lois.
Lois: Clark. Donut?
Clark: You chose first.
Lois: There's so many choices.
[ Both speak at the same time ]
Lois: What were you going to say Clark?
[ Desk bangs next to theirs ]
Cat: Hi, hi. Hope I'm not interrupting anything. Ooh donuts.
[ Lois shuts the box ]
Lois: No, no.
Cat: Wow, you Metropolis girls do have your own sense of style, don't you?
Lois: You should see what's underneath the jacket. Oliver asked me to cover the gala at the museum. It's themed, oh did you not get an invitation? [ Tsk ] Sucks.
Cat: Won't this be the greatest? Working together again? Our names look terrific side by side on a byline. I mean it was like we were meant to be partners Clark. You're the Popeye to my Olive, the Mickey to my Minnie ...
Lois: The sick to my stomach.
Cat: A source confirmed the museum is missing a valuable artifact from it's new exhibit.
[ Lois grabs the file before Cat can grab it ]
Cat: I thought we'd check Luthorcorps loading dock, that's where this amulet was supposed to arrive.
Lois: Hey, I've seen this fashion fopaw before. When I was in Egypt.
Clark: I appreciate the uh offer, but I'm already booked for a personal interview. [ to Lois ]: Roof [ Whispers ]: 5.
Lois: Well it looks like you're going to be playing in that Saharan sandbox by yourself. Don't get b*rned.
[ Door opens, closes ]
Lois: If there was ever a time for my lucky lipstick. So much for leaving Egypt behind.
[ Light flashes ]
[ Door opens, closes ]
Clark: Wow you look beautiful. Did you get that necklace for the gala? It's so Egyptian.
Lois: I must locate the treasure's of !sis.
Clark: You mean the article that Cat's working on?
Lois: Where is this Cat now?
Clark: She's probably on her way to the Luthorcorp loading dock, and I know that it goes against every bone in your body not to chase down a lead Lois, but there is something that's more important that you need to know. I wanted to tell you this before I just didn't know how, actually I did tell you once before but everything got out of control, and it wasn't your fault though, you were perfect. I'm doing this all wrong.
Lois: You said this knowledge was of great importance to me. [ Clark nods ]
Clark: I'm the Blur.
Lois: That is of no importance to me.
Clark: "no importance" if it doesn't change the way you feel about me, or "no importance" as in you ... .Lois. Lois!
Lois: This vessel might have once been called "Lois" but now it serves "!sis."
[ Flies away ]
[ Voice over computer ]: Carter Hall is offline. Attempt failed. Carter Hall is offline, attempt failed.
Oliver: Just typical you know? Just when we need a lesson on how to De-!sis Lois, professor Hawkhead takes a sabbatical.
Clark: Oliver we need help. And there's one other person we can call. Tess.
Oliver: Did you hit your head? A: Tess Mercer can't be trusted. B: She can't do what Chloe did. No one can take Chloe's place.
Clark: Then I hope you brushed up on your Egyptian history.
Oliver: Courtesy of a once lovely know livid museum curator. I canceled tonights gala, Adrianna was not thrilled to hear that news, I told her a friend had unexpectedly flown in.
Clark: Please tell me these books are going to explain what happened to Lois.
Oliver: Whoa, whoa, the !sis myth isn't just about some goddess, it's about what people are willing to risk for love.
Clark: I had my lecture on love for the day.
Oliver: Fair enough, her husband Osiris was k*lled by his brother Sade out of jealousy, I guess being an only child does have some perks. Anyway, Egyptians believe that a person's soul remained in their heart, so when Sade dismembered Osiris's body and scattered all the pieces ... .
Clark: He wanted to make sure that his soul never found peace.
Oliver: Exactly, but the mighty !sis tried to resurrect Osiris. So she recovered his body, piece by piece, but she was never able to find the burial jar containing his heart. And to make sure that she never did, Sade trapped her spirit in an amulet.
Clark: Now that she's back, she's going to finish what she started. If we can find that jar then she'll find us.
Oliver: Oh Clark, because of his lost soul, Osiris was doomed to rule the underworld for all eternity. If !sis succeeds in resurrecting him, his kingdom will also rise. She will literally unleash hell on Earth.
[ Door is broken ]
Man: Hey, what are you doing in here?
[ Lois throws him back ]
Lois: Osiris. You're here.
[ Lois rips open lid ]
Lois: I have missed you for so long. What is this?
Cat: Two stories for the price of one. I won't let you get away with another crime Lois Lane, at least not without snapping proof of it first.
[ Takes picture, light and whoosh ]
[ Whoosh ]
[ Clark bends door back down ]
[ Whoosh ]
Man: Notes fro my latest therapy session with Alexander, he's an unusual boy. His intelligence is off the charts for someone his age.
Tess: Genius has a way of driving people insane. Is he stable?
Man: It may be too early to tell. That's why I'd like to move the boy to a facility, where I can monitor him around the clock.
Tess: [ Nods ] I'll make sure he's packed by morning.
[ Knock ]
Cat: Knock, knock. I know who this is. Even when no one else believes in you. He's the one person who loves you unconditionally. The one you'd risk anything for. You need Peter Pan and chicken noodle soup.
Tess: Excuse me?
Cat: That's what my little boy wants when he's not feeling well. I know the look of a worried mother when I see one.
Tess: This boy's not my son.
Cat: Oh, with the red hair, I just assumed that ...
Tess: Are you here to pitch the follow-up to your last piece, about the problematic squirrel population?
Cat: They're rodents, and probably rabid ... whatever, um, what I'm working on now is a history making headline. I know the identity of the Blur. And that so-called 'hero' is right in your bullpen.
Tess: I'll admit that our HR office needs a little bit of work, but..
Cat: Being a reporter is the perfect cover-up for the Blur. You-you can be the first on scene and no one will question it. You can cover your own tracks, you can blow your own horn ... .
Tess: You can be surrounded by people who expose secrets for a living?
Cat: It's time the world knows the truth. That the Blur is nothing but a liar and a theif. Lois isn't going to know what hit her.
Tess: Ohhh, If this is just a petty attempt for you to one-up a fellow reporter Cat ...
Cat: Oh I'm not trying to scoop Lois, she is the scoop. Lois Lane is the Blur.
[ Tess laughs loudly ]
Cat: Laugh all you want, but you mark my words Tess Mercer: I will expose the Blur's identity and I will bring down this hero menace, once and for all.
Tess: You're telling me Lois Lane has turned into !sis? How the hell does that even happen?
Oliver: The current theory involves an amulet that's supposed to be at the museum but is apparently around Lois' throat.
Tess: So let me get this straight, Lois finds a necklace, gets possessed by an Egyptian goddess, and now is flying around like Amelia Earhart, minus the plane?
Oliver: Just another Friday night in Metropolis. Who's ready for the weekend? I'll make sure I relay your message about Cat to Clark, in the meantime he and I can take care of the blonde in her bombshell.
[ Tess pushes off Oliver ]
Tess: You don't have to throw me out Oliver, I'm just trying to protect Clark.
Clark: Protect me from what?
Oliver: Apparently the third wheel of your bullpen bust, thinks that Lois is the Blur.
Tess: Which is why I erased all the security footage of Lois crumpling a metal door with her hand, and throwing a security guard across a warehouse. Cat saw what she saw, but at least now she can't prove it.
Clark: Thanks for the backup. But we have another problem, Lois found Osiris's heart, and now I can't find her.
Oliver: Well she still does have one more layover before our non-stop to hell, she has to reunite the heart ... .
Tess: With the body to make Osiris whole.
Oliver: [ sighs and looks at Tess annoyed ] There's a sarcophagus at the exhibit, it's rumored to hold an ancient priest of the underworld, now I'm thinking ... .
Tess: That high priest is actually Osiris.
[ Oliver stares at Tess ]
Oliver: You stole my thunder there, Tess.
Clark: Look every one of those crates has a name of the museum on it, if !sis saw that, she'll know where the artifact's are headed.
Oliver: It's only a matter of time before we become permanent residents of the underworld, we have no idea how to get this Egyptian genie back in her bottle.
Tess: You don't, but I might.
[ Oliver shakes his head ]
Oliver: Sure, yeah just go ahead make yourself at home, please do it somewhere else. Off the laptop [ Closes laptop ]
Tess: You don't trust me still, Oliver I get it, but you need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
Oliver: Yeah, like the one that you're trying to paint yourself into? Our team, we protect secrets, we don't keep them from one another. I'm not sure you know the difference.
Tess: Lex kept a record of all of Luthorcorps active excavation sites, unfortunately he also deleted it. However, nothing in cyber space is totally lost. So it might take me a little bit of time with your low-tech laptop here, but I think that I can reconstruct the files.
Clark: Time is not a luxury we have. Please hurry.
Oliver: Where you going?
Clark: Try to prevent the end of the world.
[ Whoosh ]
Lois: At last, my love, we shall be together.
[ Rips lid off ]
Lois: No. [ Cries ]
[ Whoosh ]
Clark: You can't bring him back. It's over.
Lois: [ Sniffles ] It cannot be over. It is eternal.
Clark: Even if his body was there you can't risk hell on Earth, not just for love.
Lois: Then you do not know love.
Clark: I do. The woman I love is the vessel you took over and I want her back.
Lois: You would not risk the world for her?
Clark: Not for such a selfish reason.
Lois: Then do no pretend what you feel is love. For thousands of years my heart b*at only for one man. What you know of these things is but the wisdom of a child. Osiris was cut into a thousand pieces, he was doomed to the underworld, my spirit was ripped from my flesh and blood and I have waited lifetimes for him. All of what we suffered was worth what little time we had together and I would bare any cost to be reunited with him even for a moment.
Clark: Your memory will have to be enough.
Lois: Have you given this woman your heart?
Clark: She knows how I feel.
Lois: But you hold yourself back from her, hm? If you will not risk your heart completely then I will.
[ Pushes Clark ]
[ Light sounds ]
[ Clark groans ]
Clark: !sis, I know how much you love Osiris but you cannot sacrifice two lives just to see him again.
Lois: True love is worth any sacrifice.
[ Light beams in, Clark groans ]
Lois: The harm betrays us all.
Cat: Time is eleven-twenty three. I'm on the hunt for the Blur, I'm betting she'll come here to the night museum, looking for artifacts. And when she does; surprise you're on America's unfunniest home videos.
Lois: As once you lived Osiris so shall you live again. Through the ritual of life, I shall restore your heart and claim your body for the soul.
Cat: [ Whispers ] I will never understand liberals.
Lois: I bring you forth my love Osiris, so that we may stand together and face eternity.
Cat: [ Whispers ] Forget about her article, this is gonna land me a whole series.
Lois: Pulse with blood that once was spilt, b*at again with love and life. [ Light beams in ]
[ Heart beats ]
Lois: Take this body for your own and rise to rule from the rightful throne.
[ Cat bumps into an artifact and it falls, crashing to the floor ]
[ Light beams in and heart stops b*ating ]
[ Cat screams ]
Cat: Help! There's a crazy woman in tacky gladiator boots after me.
[ Cat yelps ]
Cat: Wait, stop. No! This isn't what I had in mind.
Oliver: There's gotta be an easier way for a girl to get a date in this town.
Lois: Your heart is brave, but I can see it belongs to a lonely soul. A warrior with a vacant heart. You try to fill it but the harder you try, the emptier it becomes.
Oliver: Yeah well I may be lonely, but I'm still going to kick your Egyptian ass.
Lois: If you truly meant to harm me you would've done so by now. But you do not wish to hurt this body.
Oliver: Childhood hang-ups. I was taught never hurt a girl.
Lois: I was taught never to hesitate.
[ Breaks glass ]
Oliver: The answer is in Lex's files, sunlight through the amulet.
[ Flash beams out ]
Oliver: That's what'll trap you again isn't it?
Lois: But in the dead of night, where will you find the light of sun?
[ Clark breaks off the rope ]
Oliver: That's a good question.
Clark: !sis!
[ Light beams ]
Clark: This ends now, or I will destroy Osiris' heart.
Lois: No.
Clark: Then release Lois, I need her back.
Lois: I see now that I am doomed. Our undying love shall be denied for eternity. This vessel she loves you completely?
Clark: Yes. You hold Osiris's heart in your hand, what you take of mine I shall take from yours.
[ Oliver sh**t an arrow hitting the necklace, Clark burns it ]
[ Light beams one last time ]
[ Whoosh ]
Clark: Lois?
Lois: Clark? Did we take a behind the scenes tour of the museum? I love you Clark, but sometimes you are such a nerd.
[ They both smile ]
Tess: You seem far away.
Oliver: Sometimes you have to watching things from a distance in order to see them more clearly. You were right, about me turning into a caricature of myself.
Tess: I shouldn't have said that.
Oliver: The show I was putting on, the uh, 'The Green Arrow Girls' was uh, emptiness I was trying to fill. I was lying to myself and uh you were one of the only ones that would call me on it.
Tess: Another one of those is Chloe.
Oliver: God I miss her. I miss her laugh, and uh her strength, the way her eyes lit up when I entered the room. She really loved me. I gave her a secret that was too hard to hold onto. She paid the price keeping it.
Tess: Oliver when it comes to you, no price was too high for Chloe.
Oliver: I guess you can still spot real love. I'm sorry, Tess: Don't be. [ Shrugs ] It's the truth and there hasn't been a lot of that in my life. Just like there hasn't been a lot of love. Did I drive halfway across town just for an apology.
Clark: No. It was so we could both give you something.
Oliver: That's right, other than our solar powered friend over here doing that cool eyeball zap through the amulet thing that he did, we couldn't have done it without you.
Clark: You took care of Cat and you figured out how to put !sis back in the amulet. Pretty impressive with 'low-tech laptop' too.
Oliver: Now let's see what you can do with something a little more powerful. Like Watchtower. Welcome to the team.
Tess: Thank you.
[ Leaves with tears in her eyes ]
[ Opens and closes door ]
Oliver: You really think we can trust her?
Clark: We'll find out.
Man: I came to take the boy but security won't let me.
Tess: Under my orders, Alexander's staying with me.
Man: With all due respect you flew me here to observe the boy.
Tess: He doesn't need to be watched, doctor. He needs to be loved.
Man: And you think you can do that? The boys stability is in question, ultimately he may prove dangerous why would you risk your safety? What do you see that I don't?
Tess: His heart.
[ Opens door and closes ]
Alex: Tess did you see how much I grew since last week?
Tess: That's very impressive, soon you're going to be taller than I am. I brought a book for us to read. It's a story of Peter Pan and his friend Wendy.
Alex: What's it about?
Tess: It's about the adventures of growing up, I think you'll like it.
Alex: I love you Tess.
[ Tess kisses his forehead ]
Tess: All children except one grow up, they soon know that they will grow up. And the way Wendy knew was this ...
Man: There's those copies you asked for.
Lois: Thank you.
Man: You're welcome.
[ Cat stabs Lois ]
Lois: Ow! [ Takes pen out of her hand ] What the hell?
[ Lois is about to punch Cat but is stopped by Clark ]
[ Lois groans ]
Clark: Ladies, who wants to go first?
[ Both yell at the same time ]
Lois: She stabbed me!
Cat: She's the Blur!
Lois: That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard, and I thought you were a bottled blonde.
Clark: Cat there's something you should know.
Cat: Don't even bother protecting her Clark. I know the truth, and I have proof.
Clark: What kind of proof?
Cat: Photographic. I caught little miss liar conducting some sort of satanic s-e-x ritual last night. I couldn't see who else was there but once I print those photos it won't matter, I'll have my evidence, and everyone will see the Blur for the deviant menace she is.
Lois: First: are you twelve? and second: I may be no angel honey, but I am definitely not into the devil.
Cat: Oh yeah? Why don't I show you pictures?
[ Whoosh ]
Cat: Then we'll see what you have to say. Should make for a great quote. [ Phone breaks ] Oh my god, those were my only copies.
Lois: That's a rookie mistake, you need to always back up your evidence.
Cat: Pretend all you want Lois, but there's just no other explanation.
Clark: Actually there is, Lois was possessed by the spirit of !sis.
Cat: Now I may have kept my youthful good looks but I wasn't born yesterday, I'm not buying it Clark.
Lois: Well you're only options are cash or credit because Clark just told you the truth.
[ Clark grabs Lois' hand and drags her away ]
Lois: This is Metropolis, weird things happen all the time. Get used to it.
[ Cat sighs ]
[ Lois sighs ]
Lois: I know the pen is mightier than the sword, but Cat was off her rocker. I mean Lois Lane is amazing but you and I both know I'm not the world's greatest superhero.
Clark: Lois I'm sorry you had to get a ball-point in the hand for the truth to come out.
Lois: The truth? Right, about the Blur? Who he is? The big mystery? Of course he never told me his identity, so I guess I don't really know him, but I feel like I do. The thing is Clark, the Blur and I, I mean we, we have this special bond. Actually it's kind of like what you and I have together, because I..[ sighs and chuckles lightly ] God, I wish you were a mirror I ... [ Clears throat ] What I'm really trying to say to you is that I know you.
Clark: But you don't know the Blur, he's probably keeping it a secret for a reason.
Lois: He's never going to tell me is he?
Clark: Not if it means putting your life at risk.
Lois: I wish he knew that I was willing to take that risk.
[ Lois turns to leave and waits on the elevator ]
Clark: All my life I've been afraid Lois, afraid of people knowing the truth about me, afraid of them rejecting me and even if they didn't still losing them. I've been of everything I can't control but when I was faced with the idea of losing you forever it made me realize there's something I would regret more than anything else; and that's not telling you the truth about me 'cause that was the only way we could share a life together. I know the odds are stacked against us and we would be risking everything, but if you are ready to take that leap, there's no one else I would want to take that leap with. Lois you've had a lot of questions about the Blur; It's me, I'm the Blur.
[ Lois leaps on top of Clark and they both land on a pile of paper ]
[ They kiss ]
Lois: What took you so long?
Clark: What? [ Clark looks confused but gets it ] You?
[ Lois places a finger to his mouth ]
[ They both smile ]
10x05 - !sis
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
A young Clark Kent struggles to find his place in the world as he learns to harness his alien powers for good and deals with the typical troubles of teenage life in Smallville.
A young Clark Kent struggles to find his place in the world as he learns to harness his alien powers for good and deals with the typical troubles of teenage life in Smallville.