02x19 - Seer Gilligan

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship set ground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

Gilligan!

Gilligan!

Don't worry, fellas.

I'm gonna build ya a new house.

Whoops! Better add another bedroom.

Hi, gilligan.

Oh, hi, skipper.

Professor's checkin' the lobster traps.

Where's the professor? Have you seen...

Oh, is that where he is? Oh.

I'm buildin' a birdhouse.

Say, uh, what are you build...

What's a birdhouse?!

What I'm building. You just asked me.

No, I didn't.

I was going to ask you, but you told me before I asked you.

In fact, you told me about where the professor was before I did ask you.

Well, don't be silly. I can't read your mind.

Well, then...

How can you tell what I'm thinking?

Don't be silly. I can't read your mind.

But you just did it, gilligan.

Let's try once more.

Um, um, I'll try and think of something.

You're thinking

You shouldn't have had that fourth piece of coconut cream pie

For dinner last night.

That's right, gilligan!

I just don't know how... Oh, I know how.

Now, just a minute. I just gave you a clue.

You didn't say a word.

No, but my stomach growled.

Now, this time...

You can keep your eyes open this time if you want to.

Oh, it's a trick of some sort.

Gilligan, this time you keep your eyes closed, and I'll keep my eyes open

And think of something that I haven't thought about in a long time.

You're thinking about a hoola dancer and a grass skirt...

Skipper.

Yeah. Well... Gilligan, you're right.

Never mind, now, the rest of it.

Gilligan, I don't understand how you do this.

I don't know. I'm just standing here.

Let me stand there.

All right.

Now, you think of something.

Ok.

Well, are you thinking of something?

Uh-huh.

I'm not getting any message.

What are you thinking about?

I was thinking about that time when I was years old

And skinned my knee, and rudolph, my cousin, and his friend claude...

We were goin' to the movies, see, with freddie with teeth missing,

But freddie got... Oh, never mind, gilligan!

For goodness sakes, how can I understand what you're thinking

When I can't even understand what you're saying?

Hey, everybody, gilligan can read minds.

It's the most fantastic thing you've ever seen.

My little buddy can read minds.

Skipper, nobody can read minds.

It's a scientific impossibility.

Oh, no, now, wait a minute, professor. Just a minute

Let's show him, little buddy.

Now, you tell him what I'm thinking about.

You're thinking about that hoola dancer in the grass skirt.

That's right, gilligan!

I even tried to fool him, and I couldn't!

Skipper, just because you said he read your mind doesn't mean he read it.

Oh, now, wait a minute, professor.

All right, then, you think of something,

And he'll read your mind.

Oh, really, skipper. Come on, professor.

Just think of something.

Oh, go ahead. Humor him, professor.

Well, all right. Go ahead.

Um... The symbol for aluminum is a-l.

Its atomic number is .

Its atomic weight is . .

Did he really read your mind, professor?

Well, it must be some sort of a trick.

I mean, it's impossible to read minds.

Try him again, professor! Try him again!

I will. I will.

The... The, uh...

The index of refraction is n equals sine-one over sine-r

Equals v over v .

Is... Is that right?

Well, there's no doubt about it.

Gilligan read my mind!

I must've. I don't even know what I said!

Oh, gilligan, oh, gilligan, read my mind.

Um, let's see, now.

You're thinking of a double-thick, chocolate malted...

With whip cream on it.

Ooh, I was just thinking about a double-thick chocolate malted.

Whipped cream was my idea.

Gilligan... Would you read my mind?

Yeah.

You're thinking of... Rockery hudpeck.

Rockery hudpeck?

Ooh, he's right.

I was thinking of rock hudson and gregory peck,

But I couldn't make up my mind.

Uh, gilligan, my boy, would you come over here?

There you are. Sit down.

You say that you can read minds, huh?

Well, read mine.

Of course, you realize that the howell mind is a little different.

Heh heh. So I'll just give it a...

You're hoping that the prices on your chemical stocks have gone up.

That's right, or it's a lucky guess.

I dare you to try it again!

Just... Just try it again. I'll give it the double...

Peh-kahhh!

You're thinking that if you could read minds like me,

You would have all the money in the world.

That's what I was thinking,

But then that's what I'm always thinking!

Gilligan, gilligan, read my mind.

Oh, gilligan!

Now, girls! Girls! Control yourself! Control yourself!

Treat this man with awe and respect!

He's only just gilligan.

Well, he's gilligan to you,

But to me, he's my little fort knox.

Oh, come on.

Hyah!

Aah!

[Ring]

All right, my dear. It's my turn.

Dear thurston, how long do we have to do this pacing thing?

Till we figure out how gilligan reads minds.

Well, why don't we just walk up to him and ask him?

Well, I did. I did!

And he said that he didn't know.

Oh, well, you can believe him.

If there's one thing that boy can't do, it's tell an untruth.

Yes, I know. I know, my dear. It's so revolting.

Maybe it's the shape of gilligan's head.

The shape of his head has nothing to do with it.

My uncle egbert's head is more pointed than his,

And he can't even read a menu.

[Ring]

Here you are, dear.

Maybe gilligan's having some sort of a nightmare.

You can't read minds as a result of a nightmare.

I'm having a nightmare because I can't.

I mean, maybe gilligan uh... Ate something that disagreed with him.

Lovey! Lovey, that's it!

That's it! That's his secret:

The food, the things that he eats!

Well, he does have a most peculiar diet.

I shall eat the same combination

Of calories, proteins, and carbohydrates and mud.

Oh, darling, remember, you have a very delicate tummy.

Well, let it suffer. I've got to get that secret!

Oh, yes, dear, but you'll toss and turn all night.

Let me toss! Let me turn!

To get that secret, I'll become a whirling dervish!

Uh... Oysters... Lobsters...

Turtle eggs in the shell...

And warm coconut milk.

How can a skinny kid like you hold so much?

I don't know, mr. Howell, not until I've had dessert.

Oh! Mary ann's cookin' my favorite:

Coconut, papaya, and tuna fish pie!

Mmm!

Come on, mr. Howell! It's best when it's hot!

Uhh!

[Rockabye baby plays]

[Burp]

I feel like a beached whale.

Thurston, this isn't the time for a siesta.

Zip me up.

Uhhh... Can't make it.

Don't be ridiculous.

You've got to get up.

Why?

Well, it's time for dinner.

Uuuhhhh!

I had a happy childhood.

Gilligan, you've got to wait until I've asked the question

Before you answer it.

Ok, but I can't see how you're gonna figure out how I read minds

By asking me what happened when I was a kid.

Well, I think I can.

Now... Did you father ever b*at you?

Yes.

He did?

All the time.

And your mother let him?

She used to b*at me, too.

Oh, you poor thing.

How else could I learn to play checkers?

Gilligan, will you be serious? Tsk!

I'm sorry.

Now, let's try something else. Um...

A word association test.

I'll say a word, and you say the first thing

That pops into your head.

Black.

I didn't say it!

Dog.

Cat.

Ham. Eggs.

Sun.

Moon.

Boy.

Oh.

Uh... Oh, boy... Attaboy?!

How about "girl"?

Girl... Boy... Yeah! Boy... Girl! Yeah.

Here. Have some.

Oh, gilligan, it's no use.

Even sigmund freud couldn't solve this.

If I see him, I'll tell him.

Tell who?

The skipper. You just asked me...

Gilligan, I just read your mind.

How did you do it? How do I do it?

How do we do it?

Like this.

Huh?

So that's how we do it.

Then they can't be ordinary sunflower seeds.

Guess not.

Well, just to make sure it's the seed,

Let's try to read each other's minds.

Ok.

I know what you're thinking.

I know what you're thinking.

I know you know what I'm thinking.

I know that you know that I know

That you know what you're thinking.

I know that you know that I know

That you know that I know you know what I'm thinking.

I think.

I know that you know that I know what you're thinking that i...

[Sigh]

That's right. Let's go tell the others.

And I still say that gilligan can read minds!

Medical science says he can't.

Well, medical science is wrong!

Medical science is never wrong.

Ginger can read minds, just like me!

That's right. I can read minds, just like gilligan,

Even if he doesn't think so.

And what does medical science think about that?

Well, in order to justify such a fantastic claim,

I would have to perform laboratory tests with strict controls.

Oh, never mind, professor.

For goodness sakes, I'll test her myself.

Now, go ahead, ginger.

Start reading.

Um... !

.

!

Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!

Oh, well, ginger, I was trying to figure out the longitude

And the latitude of... This island.

Oh, no, you weren't, skipper.

You were thinking about ging... Never mind, gilligan!

All right, now, professor, you go ahead. You test her.

All right, ginger.

Read my mind.

, , .

Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!

Well, that's just the atomic weight of sodium hydrochloride.

Oh, no, professor. You were thinking about ginger...

Never mind, gilligan.

All right, ginger, what happened?

Did gilligan tell you...

Gilligan didn't teach me anything.

All you have to do is eat one of these sunflower seeds,

Which isn't a sunflower seed at all.

Why, that's fantastic.

You know, there's a chapter on these seeds in my book on rare tropical plants.

It says the last bush d*ed over centuries ago.

Well, whoever wrote that book is a blooming idiot.

Well, I'll ignore that.

But according to legend, which now appears to be fact,

These seeds were used by the ancient mystics

To induce telepathic communications, a form of mind-reading.

And it works, professor.

Well. I'll have to reread that chapter.

Professor, my seed!

Ahh! Ho-hum, little buddy,

I think it's time to hit the sack.

That's not what you're thinking.

You're thinking when you get me alone,

You'll make me tell you where the bush is.

Who? Me?

Now, gilligan... Ha ha ha...

Gilligan?

Gilligan?

Hmm?

I've always taken care of you, haven't i?

It's always been share and share alike with us, hasn't it?

Please, skipper, I'm tryin' to get some sleep.

All I'm asking is one simple thing.

[Whispering] let's keep the location of that bush a secret,

Just between you and me, ok?

[Snores]

Gilligan?

Gilligan...

I've always taken care of ya, haven't i?

I mean, it's always been share and share alike with us, hasn't it?

Oh, who put that record back on again?

Oh, gilligan, just say "yes,"

And then you can go back to sleep.

Yes, what?

Just say, "yes, skipper."

Yes, skipper.

[Rockabye baby plays]

That's it, gilligan.

Thurston, aren't you ever going to sleep?

I'm thinking.

What about?

Those seeds, of course.

Gilligan promised to show us the mind reading bush

In the morning.

Well, I just don't trust him.

Don't trust gilligan? But that's ridiculous.

He's the soul of honor.

Well, it so happens the soul of honor

Is bunking with sinbad the sailor.

Oh, you don't mean you don't trust the captain?

That kind of trust made julius caesar a pincushion, my dear.

Yes.

I never knew julius caesar was a pincushion.

Uh... Gilligan?

Are you asleep?

Huh?

Oh, not now. I was. What's wrong, mr. Howell?

[Snore] shh!

What did I say? "Shh."

Gilligan, there's a little business deal I want to talk over with you.

Can't we talk about it in the morning?

No, no, no, no! No, no, no.

Morning is too late.

Mr. Howell, I'm pooped.

Not mr. Howell. Thurston.

Ok, mr. Thurston.

That's not "mr. Thurston," just plain, old thurston.

And, since we're partners, why not "thursty"?

Partners?

That's right.

In the seed deal.

/ .

/ ?

Uh... / .

/ ?

/ .

That's final. I won't let you take anything less.

Ok, mr. Howell. I'll sleep on it.

Tomorrow you'll put the seeds in my hand for safekeeping.

Right?

[Snores]

No need to answer, my boy. Just a simple nod of the head.

That's it. Yes, indeed, perfectly legal.

I even have a witness.

Ha ha ha... Shh!

[Whispering] gilligan.

Shh! Gilligan is sleeping.

Wake up. I've got to talk to you.

Tomorrow, huh?

Gilligan... You like me, don't you?

I'll like you better tomorrow, I promise.

Gilligan, will you promise me one thing?

Mm-hmm.

The seeds will be our secret?

I won't even tell you.

Promise?

Gilligan?

Gilligan... Tonight we share a kiss.

Tomorrow... The seeds.

[Snores]

[Snores]

Oh, I don't know how gilligan

Could break a promise to his big buddy.

It's the last time I share secrets with him.

Who'd believe that gilligan would pull a trick like that?

Well, darling, what did he say to you

When you went to visit him in the night?

Shh!

I don't know why you're all so upset.

Well, gilligan just up and left

Without saying where he was going.

Oh, that's not true.

He told me he was gonna go out and get the seeds

And bring them back here.

Bring 'em here?! With all of us watching?

I'll never trust him again.

Well, if you could read his mind,

You'd know exactly where he went.

I tried that last night, but it didn't work.

Professor: the effect is only temporary.

I did some reading about those seeds last night.

Hi, everybody!

I'm back!

I promised plenty of seeds for everyone, and here they are.

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Ready, lovey?

Ready.

Ooh...

Rather like the flavor of truffles, haven't they?

Never mind what they taste like.

Let's us see if they work.

I think a little hollandaise sauce would improve them.

This isn't a recipe contest.

Now, lovey, uh... Think of something.

All right...

Hee hee!

Ready.

You've changed your mind!

Instead of hollandaise sauce,

You think they'd taste better with sauce béarnaise.

Oh, darling, how clever of you!

You read my mind exactly!

Yes. Now... Now I'll... I'll think of something.

Better take a booster sh*t.

Really, thurston, how can you?

But, lovey!

I don't mind your stealing from the others,

But to steal seeds from your own wife!

Ohh! Oh!

Oh, why did I ever marry you? Oh!

Ok, skipper. Sure.

Here it is.

Ha ha!

This mind reading sure beats talking a mile.

I don't have to give every order twice. Ha ha,

It's a lot quieter, too.

Ooh, did you have to yell that loud?

Why, I didn't say a word.

Yeah, but you were thinking so loudly.

Hand me that bamboo pole.

Aah! Aah! Ooh! Aah!

Gilligan, you are... You...

A nincompoop! That's what you're thinking.

Exactly.

And not only that, i...

What do you mean, if I hadn't been so fat,

This wouldn't have happened?

Oh...

That's exactly what you were thinking.

I know, but... Gilligan!

Oh! Is that so!

Yes, that's so, and not only that...

I'm a what?

I'm glad you could read my mind.

I'm too much of a lady to say those things.

Well, here's something for you!

Oh!!

Oh!!

And the same goes for your brother!

Hi, professor. Can I talk to you?

Wouldn't you prefer to think at me?

No. That's the last thing I want to do.

I just had a terrible think fight with the skipper.

You should have heard some of the terrible thoughts

He thought at me.

Well, it's not just you and the skipper.

The girls aren't speaking to each other,

And the howells have just had a violent argument.

Actually, considering all the months we've spent on this island,

Those are the first real fights we've had.

I thought we'd just get along great

If everybody could read each other's minds.

So did i. You know...

I thought those seeds might even help world peace when we're rescued.

I thought, "if all the countries in the world could only know..."

What do you mean, "that's a stupid idea"?

All I mean is if the of us takin' the seeds just can't get along...

I know what you mean, but that's no reason to be insulting!

[Arguing]

You don't think I do my share of the work, do you?

I didn't say that.

But you thought it.

Oh!

So you think you do more work around here than I do!

Ha! That's a laugh.

Oh! So I loaf and try to get gilligan and skipper to do my work, do i?

Well!

I should stop using my head and start using my back for a change, huh?

Well, i...

Oh, well, you've got a lot of nerve thinking

That if it wasn't for you we couldn't have survived all this time!

If I knew you had thoughts like that, I never would have married you!

Well, I'm finding out a few things that you think

And how few thinks you have!

[Gasp]

Oh... Oh... Pooh!

Oh!

Mary ann is under the impression

That I've been getting you to do my work for me.

So you think so, too!

Well, do you know what I think?

I most certainly do!

Oh!

And that goes for me, too!

Well, they certainly told you off.

Oh, I couldn't care less what they think.

It burns me up the professor thinks that i...

Oh, so you think I'm responsible for our being marooned, too, huh?

Well, it certainly wasn't my fault!

Thurston, give me some of your seeds.

I'm all out of them, and I want to read your mind.

I haven't any more.

I'll go back to the bush and get some more.

Skipper: not if I get 'em first!

I think I saw gilligan go this way.

I'll pay the rest of you $ , apiece for the seeds.

Oh, there he is.

Where? Gilligan!

What are you doing there, little buddy?

I'm burning the bush with the mind reading seeds.

The... The seeds! The seeds!

Ow! Ooh, that smarts. I burnt my little pinky.

Did you burn all of the seeds?

Yep. The whole bush and everything.

Oh...

I suppose you think it's the dumbest thing I ever did...

But we never fought and argued before we could read minds,

And now that we can't read minds,

Maybe we could be friends again, huh?

Ok...

If everybody wants to yell at me for bein' a dumbbell,

Go ahead.

Gilligan, for a guy who's always doin' dumb things,

When you do something smart, it's beautiful. Ha ha!

And you're not mad?

No, I'm not mad, even though I lost a fortune.

Gilligan?

Hmm?

You know what I think?

No, I don't.

Well, it's a shame because, really, it was something nice.

Thanks, skipper.

Gilligan?

Hmm?

Reading people's minds

Can cause more trouble than a hurricane.

And how.

Ahh... Gilligan? Hmm?

Are you sure you destroyed all the seeds?

Every single one of 'em.

Oh, that's good.

Now we can get something done around here.

Yeah, right.

Oh, uh, gilligan? Hmm?

I have a list of things for you to do tomorrow.

But I was gonna go fishin' tomorrow.

Well, gilligan, nobody says you can't go fishing.

I mean, after you bring up some firewood, bring up some well water,

Dig a drainage ditch, fix the lobster traps,

Then after breakfast, uh... Skipper?

Yes, gilligan?

Do you know what I think? No.

That's good.

♪ Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In the tropic island nest ♪

No phone... No lights...

♪ No motorcars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪