02x21 - Gilligan's Living Doll

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship set ground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

How do I get these crummy jobs?

Laundry is a woman's job.

After all, a man works his way up

To be captain of his own ship,

He should get a little respect.

I'll take that back.

Get a whole lot of respect.

I think captain rates a salute,

Not a "hey, you."

For goodness sakes, I always get assignments.

I should be giving them out.

If anybody on this island is entitled to something...

Gilligan.

Gilligan! What are you doing?

[Grunts]

Thought I lost this.

Lost what?

My good-luck charm.

Gilligan, that's an old wives' tale.

No, it isn't. It's a rabbit's foot.

I know exactly what it is.

But anybody who'd think that that would bring them good luck

Has gotta be out of their mind.

I believe it.

I know. That's exactly what I mean.

Now get back to the laundry!

I wonder if it works when it's wet.

Gilligan, are you gonna let me put you in the driver's seat

Or are you gonna get up there?

Now, that's better. Now, let's finish this laundry.

Hey, skipper.

It works! It works!

What works? What is it you're talking about?

It works even better when it's wet. Look!

For goodness sakes, that's nothing but a man in a parachute.

Now, will you start peddling... A man in a parachute?!

Yes, skipper. We're rescued! We're rescued!

We are! We are! [Whistles]

Down here! Over here!

Oh, professor, did you find anything?

Not a sign.

I'm sure that parachutist came down dead center.

He should be right on this part of the island.

Skipper!

I found it! I found it!

Where? Where?

Right here. Right here.

Gilligan, that's a comic book.

I know. It's my favorite one. I lost it.

Comic book. You're a great help.

Come on, professor. Let's check over here.

You know, he could have gotten tangled in the trees.

Well, certainly he could have.

Gilligan, you go look that way.

Alone?

Well, certainly alone.

Why not alone?

Because I'm at the scary part.

You see here? Fossil face has davey davis,

All-american boy. See that?

Oh, never mind the comic book.

Go that way.

Professor: skipper,

Are you sure you saw someone parachute down?

I'm positive, professor.

"Aha, fossil face, just because you have davey davis

"Tied to the buzz saw and because you have

"His tried-and-true buddy,

"Friendly and lovable lester l. Lewis tied

To the railroad tracks does not mean that..."

Oops.

Guess it does.

Ooh. Ohh...

Excuse me, sir.

It's fossil face!

I give up! I give up! I give up!

I give up!

Hello.

[Robotic voice] hello.

My name is gilligan.

My name is gilligan.

Hey, we both have the same name.

Hey, we both have the same name.

Professor! Skipper!

I found him!

Her... It.

Skipper, professor, I found it! I found it!

I found it!

All right, gilligan, for goodness sakes,

You don't have to yell. I know that you found it...

A robot?

Yeah.

Oh, for goodness sakes,

That's just what we needed.

The tin fugitive from the wizard of oz.

Oh, professor, meet our rescuer.

Why, that's fantastic.

Huh?

Well, it's obviously an experimental model.

The air force must be using it

For some sort of survival test.

It's a real live robot.

Gilligan, robots aren't alive.

This one is, 'cause it can talk.

Yes. And I'm sure that you two will have

Very interesting conversations together.

Robots have been programmed to talk.

I know, but if I was ever seen

Talking to this refugee from a junkyard,

They'd think the skipper lost all his marbles.

The skipper lost his marbles.

Why, it must have a blank roll of tape

And an a*t*matic replay mechanism.

You mean whatever I say to it, the robot will repeat it back?

Yes.

Oh, great.

We've got a mechanical gilligan.

I wonder what else they made it do.

Gilligan, you've just hit upon the key word.

They.

They sent it up, and they'll come looking for it.

And when they do...

They'll come and rescue us.

They'll rescue us, gilligan!

Oh, robot, robot, you're beautiful!

You're beautiful.

Thank you.

Come on. Let's go show the others.

Uhh. Uhh!

Uhh!

Gilligan! For goodness sake,

That thing must weigh , pounds.

Well, if it can talk, it must be programmed to walk.

Yeah, let's try it.

Robot, follow me!

Robot, walk!

That way!

But you haven't asked it any important questions,

Like who won the world series or the rose bowl or anything.

Well, I asked informative questions

And I got informative answers.

Yeah. [Imitating robot] I was launched

From hickam field, hawaii.

Purpose: radiation detection flight.

Destination: vandenberg air base, california.

Well, we also learned that it's model xr- .

And what's more important,

I think I've solved the schematic problem.

Is that good?

Raise your right arm.

Ah, yes. The schematic pattern

Is the key to how to activate it.

Raise your left arm.

Gilligan, the possibilities are unlimited.

And until the air force finds our friend,

We can put it to all sorts of uses.

Will it bring water from the spring?

Raise your left leg.

I believe I can program it to do all the unpleasant tasks on the island.

Even the laundry?

Twirl your right arm.

Gilligan, this mechanical marvel

Can be taught to do everything a man can do.

And it can do it better.

Now, you sweep like this.

Back and forth, back and forth.

Sweep.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Oh, this is going to be fun.

That's fine, that's fine.

Now sweep the other way.

Well, turn around.

Well, sweep the other way!

Ohh!

Are you going to take all day?

Which one of these makes you go faster?

Ohh!

Aah!

Ohh!

Ohh!

Stop!

Put that down!

Help!

Help!

Aah!

Now close the lid.

All right, get aboard and start peddling.

You are a captain's dream.

[Sighs]

What a crew.

A crew that takes orders without questions.

Ha ha ha.

Skipper, are you asleep?

Yes.

Well, when you wake up,

Will you tell me if you've seen my rabbit's foot?

Have you lost that again?

If I hadn't lost it, I wouldn't have to ask you if you'd seen it

'Cause I'd still have it.

Gilligan, for goodness sake.

Skipper: mr. Howell!

Mr. Howell, come back here with that robot!

Stop!

I'm not done with him.

I've got to have him finish the laundry.

Now go back and finish the laundry!

But the robot and gilligan are caddying for us.

Oh, no, he's not. He's gonna do the laundry.

No, no. Mrs. Howell is waiting at the first tee.

Well, I'm sorry mrs. Howell's waiting. She'll just have to...

Mr. Howell: well, I'm willing to pay him double. I don't understand.

Aah!

[Muffled shouts]

What's that?

Well, it could be the mating call

Of the red-crested hickenlooper.

It's the season, you know.

It was a call for help.

Then it's definitely not the red-crested hickenlooper.

He's quite capable of... O-over there! Look!

Uh... Uh, darling, uh, my ball is in your line.

I... I... I'd better mark it.

I'm a long way away, mr. Robot.

It will break toward the ocean,

Across the grain, downhill,

Right of the palm tree.

Play it feet to the right of the hole.

With those directions, she'll knock it right off the island.

There's a very interesting news program coming in on the radio.

Listen to this, everybody.

Announcer: and the drone plane,

Which accidentally ejected the robot xr- ,

Landed at vandenberg airfield.

Since the plane was operated by remote control,

The officials have no way of knowing the area

Where the robot was ejected.

They've announced that a search for the robot would be neither economical

Nor successful,

And therefore, no search will take place.

Oh, no.

And we thought that robot was gonna get us rescued.

Well, he's so smart, maybe he can figure out something.

Gilligan, for goodness sakes, robots don't think.

They only do what you tell them to.

That's it. If we can figure out what to tell him,

He could rescue us.

Are you serious?

I certainly am.

How would you like to do us a very big favor?

[Metal creaking]

I'm fixing the robot

So that our auditory impulses

Will activate its memory spools.

And in that way,

The particular problem poised will be answered.

Well, I think the simplest way to explain it

Is with a demonstration.

I think we can use him now.

Oh, I'll help you get him up.

, Pounds?

Oh, yes, um, uh... Professor: robot...

Rise.

Now, gentlemen,

What is the most logical way to get off the island?

The same way we got on. By boat.

Very good, little buddy. I'm very proud of you.

Professor: exactly.

Now, if it has the information

Of any of its spools, we'll get an answer.

Can you build a boat?

Yes, I can.

And how long will it take you to build this boat?

Hours, minutes, seconds.

Wow! That means we can be aboard

Early in the morning.

Right. All right, build us a boat,

And start at once.

And that, gentlemen... Ohh!

Is that.

, Pounds.

, Pounds.

Whose foot is this?

Now, don't just stand there, gilligan.

Go out there and tell the others to get packed.

Can you b*at that?

The women still can't decide what to wear on the boat.

You can't blame them, you know.

Bon voyage, first night out, and all that sort of thing.

I'm extremely curious to see the boat.

What boat?

The boat he built.

Mr. Howell: well, I can't see a thing.

Maybe he built us a submarine.

You did not ask for a submarine.

I don't think he built a thing.

I'm gonna speak to the head of your union.

No more fringe benefits, no health or welfare.

No more nuts, bolts, or machine oil.

Oh, please, mr. Howell.

Did you build us a boat?

Yes.

Well, where is it?

In the lagoon.

Professor: well, why can't we find it?

You are not looking in the right place.

Well, I'm sorry. It's the only lagoon we have.

I found it! I found it!

Look at the boat he built.

Gee, isn't it neat?

It's a two-masted schooner,

And it's got lifeboats and a binnacle.

And, look, the pinrails...

Oh, it's my fault.

I should have specified the size and type of vessel.

Well, it's not too late. Perhaps he can build us a bigger ship.

Well, it's worth a try.

Can you build us a larger boat?

I have been programmed

To build a carrier, destroyer,

Or minesweeper.

Well, we might as well go first class.

Build us a carrier.

A carrier requires , tons of steel,

, Tons of...

Reject. Never mind that last order.

Perhaps if you said "pretty please."

We're going to have to concentrate on some other device.

It's obvious the robot can't build a ship without steel.

Well, better break the bad news to the girls.

Yes, yes.

You goofed, didn't you?

I am not programmed for that information.

I wonder what next year's models are gonna look like.

I am not... Oh, shut up.

Power windows.

I think you did a swell job.

Thank you.

There must be some way

This robot can get us off this island.

If he were human, I'd offer him more money.

Thurston, I have the most marvelous idea.

You have a plan?

The plan, darling.

Well, what is it?

I'm not going to tell anybody but the robot.

Well, come on. Let's not keep the robot waiting.

Here you are, my dear.

Oh, it's for you.

There you are, my sweet.

[Knocking]

Mr. Robot, are you awake?

Darling, they don't have to sleep.

Oh, yes, of course.

Uh, mr. Robot,

We'd like to leave the island.

That information

Has already been recorded.

Darling, the idea. The idea.

Oh, yes, of course.

Uh, build us a bridge to hawaii.

Don't be ridiculous.

A bridge to hawaii

Can be built from material on the island.

It can?

You see, dear?

It will take approximately

Years and months.

Years?

Thurston, do you realize how old I'll be?

Yes. You'll be a little old to walk to hawaii.

Oh, dear. I thought it was such a good plan.

Eureka, I have it!

Have what?

A way to attract attention so people can find us.

Build us a searchlight.

We can shine it on passing planes and ships.

Impossible.

No electric power.

A... A flashlight?

Impossible.

No carbon for batteries.

Candles?

Matches?

Friendly fireflies...

Rubbing their little feet together?

[Bell ringing]

Oh, ginger, I think the plan is impossible.

Why? A girl can get a man

To do all kinds of things for her.

I know. But robots aren't human.

Neither were some of the guys I went out with.

But the professor says that robots can't do any original thinking,

No matter how you ask them.

Well, that's what makes it a challenge.

See you later.

Hiya, tall, dark, and mechanical.

I do not understand.

Oh.

I'll make it a little clearer for you.

You see, I've been stuck on this island

For a long, long time.

Understand?

I understand.

And, uh, I want you to get me off.

I am not programmed for that task.

Well, uh... Gee whiz...

Can't you put your mind to it?

I mean... Concentrate for ginger, can you?

Just think of what it would mean

For me to be back in hollywood.

[Whirring]

I'll tell you what.

If you get me back to hollywood,

I'll introduce you to the swingingest lady robot

You ever saw.

For ginger?

Huh?

Come on.

Please?

[Warbling]

Mmm... Now you're goin'.

I think you're beginning to register.

Gilligan, that's one of the silliest ideas I ever heard.

I thought it was pretty good myself.

And what's the robot supposed to use

To build the radio station... Bamboo and coconuts?

Well, maybe he could swim to hawaii

And buy some tubes and wires and stuff like that.

Gilligan, if he could swim, for goodness sakes,

We wouldn't need a radio station.

We could program him to tell the authorities all about us...

Oh, that's the silliest thing I ever heard. For...

Wait a minute. That's it!

Little buddy, that's it!

You did it again!

What'd I do? What'd I do?

Well, if we can get it to swim to hawaii,

Our worries are all over!

Yeah, if we can solve one other problem.

What's that?

Where are we going to find a bathing suit

Big enough to fit him?

Yeah, a bathing suit big... Bathing suit!

Try this, robot.

Oh, it's no use, gilligan.

Its arms and legs just won't work that way.

Well, how about the butterfly stroke, like that?

The arms won't move over the head.

Oh.

How about the sidestroke, you know, like that?

Oops.

What's the matter?

I just dropped my rabbit's foot out of my pocket.

I thought I taught you

Not to pay any attention to those superstitions.

But it brings me luck.

Luck, gilligan, is all in the mind.

Professor, with my mind, I need all the luck I can get.

How's it going?

Oh, not very well, skipper.

The robot just isn't built for swimming.

Have you tried teaching him the australian crawl?

What do you mean, crawl? He has to swim to hawaii.

Very funny, gilligan.

Oh, we've tried the backstroke, the breaststroke,

The sidestroke, everything.

And it's no use.

His arms and legs simply don't have the mobility of a man.

Well, neither does a dog, and they can swim.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

The dog paddle. That's it.

I mean, it's a little slow,

But I think his arms and legs can make those motions.

I'll try it, huh?

Don't just stand there,

Get on there and show him how to dog paddle.

Robot, watch me, robot.

Robot, like this.

Hey, he's doing it, skipper. Look at that.

Yeah.

Isn't that marvelous?

That'll get him there!

I'm still half asleep.

I know it's early, but in case this fails,

I don't want the others to be disappointed.

How can they be disappointed?

They don't know what we're doing.

Don't bother to explain, professor.

All right, here goes for a trial run.

Now, swim.

Go out yards and return.

Swim, robot, swim!

Swim! Attaboy! Keep swimming!

Keep swimming! Keep going!

He sunk.

He didn't swim a stroke.

Well, it's his weight.

He can't generate enough speed

To displace enough water to keep himself afloat.

Maybe he's too heavy.

Of all the silly ideas...

Swimming to hawaii.

Robot... Stop.

Well, at least it proves he's watertight.

Let's try that message we gave him,

See if it works.

Right.

[Flicks switch]

Watertight?

I have been on a deserted island

With castaways of the minnow.

They are alive and well and...

Perfect! Now all we have to do

Is get him to swim to hawaii.

Well, back to the drawing board, as they say.

I don't say that.

He doesn't mean you, gilligan.

There's just no way to get him to swim.

Right. The way he was going,

He could have walked to hawaii.

Walked?

Walked?

Well... I...

Now, I know this is an outlandish scheme,

But it seems to be our only hope.

Well, the whole idea is preposterous.

Well, figuring the pressure of the water at its deepest,

The normal speed of the robot,

And the distance to hawaii,

I figure it should take him roughly hours.

Underwater?

Why, he could walk right by hawaii

Without ever seeing it.

Mrs. Howell, it doesn't have to see.

It will stay on the direction it's been programmed to follow.

Well, what about the valleys and the mountains underwater?

Well, it has sonar to avoid undersea obstacles

And an a*t*matic pilot to get it back on course.

What about sharks and other scary things down there?

It has no human emotions, gilligan,

So it can't be frightened.

He, by golly, sounds like our answer to lloyd bridges.

However, I must remind you

That it could run into an underwater mine

And blow up or get tangled up in a fishing net.

So it's far from certain that we'll reach hawaii.

Well, he's not going anywhere if we don't get him started.

Right.

Robot, walk.

[Everyone singing aloha oe]

[Everyone talking at once]

Wait a minute! Quiet!

The announcement! Quiet! Quiet!

Announcer: and now they're activating the robot's receptor spools

To see if they can find out how it got to hawaii.

The next voice you hear will be that of the robot.

Robot: I have been on a deserted island.

The putt breaks to the right.

It was a lucky sh*t.

Sweep back and forth.

Back and forth.

I was stranded.

This is the way we wash our clothes.

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen,

The scientists from the laboratory

Are checking to see exactly what went wrong.

Perhaps now we can learn the reason

The recorded messages are all scrambled.

A what?!

Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not,

A rabbit's foot was just found in the robot.

It demagnetized the entire receptor spools.

There is now no chance to find out

Where the robot has been,

Who reprogrammed it, or how it got to hawaii.

Or for that matter, how the rabbit's foot

Got in there in the first place.

Everyone: gilligan!

I just thought it might bring us some luck, you know?

♪ Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In the tropic island nest ♪

No phone... No lights...

♪ No motorcars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪