02x27 - Ghost a Go-Go

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship's aground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

[Ghostly wailing]

Skipper?

Is that you?

[Wailing] ooooh!

No, that wasn't you, skipper.

Ooooh!

Skipper, skipper, wake up, wake up!

What's the matter?

What is it, little buddy?

I just saw a ghost out there!

Oh, for goodness sakes, gilligan,

You didn't wake me up out of a sound sleep

To tell me about your nightmare?

No, no, no. I saw a real live ghost out there!

Gilligan, people are alive.

Ghosts are dead.

Then I saw a real dead ghost,

And he ran that way.

Well, if he was dead,

How come he was running that way?

But skipper, but skipper,

He's right out there, skipper.

Oh, gilligan, would you stop that?

Now go to sleep!

Good night!

You're dreaming.

Oh.

Yeah, maybe I was dreaming.

I just dreamt there was a ghost.

There's no such thing as a... Ghost.

[Whimpers]

Come on, gilligan.

We both have things to do.

Please, skipper, don't make me come out.

Gilligan, I've told you,

There are no ghosts.

Now come on outside.

We've both got important things to do.

Skip...

Skipper, can't we both do them without me?

No, gilligan. Just come outside,

And I'll prove that there was no ghost.

Well, I'll prove there was.

Aah!

[Sighs]

Oh!

Would you mind telling me what you're doing?

Looking for the ghost's footprints.

Oh, gilligan.

Look, I just got through telling you

There's no such things as ghosts.

But, skipper...

There never has been, there never will be!

And another thing...

They don't leave footprints.

Oh, well, maybe he left some fingerprints.

Will you stop that?

For goodness sakes, you're gonna have

Everybody around here scared to death.

But, skipper, what I saw last night was a ghost.

How can you be so sure?

I've seen a lot of ghost movies.

I never forget a face.

[Sighs]

Look, gilligan,

I'm gonna get some fresh water for the hut.

Why don't you go out and get some firewood?

What if I meet the ghost?

Well, then he can help you carry the wood.

Y...

And don't go around telling all those stories, now, gilligan.

You'll have everybody as jumpy as you are.

I'm not jumpy. Hmmph!

Oh, gilligan!

Oh, I'm sorry, mary ann.

Oh, that's all right.

At least I know it was you who caused the trouble.

Last night we didn't know what it was.

What what was?

Well, we were asleep in our cabin,

And somebody knocked on the door.

And when we said, "who is it?" Nobody answered.

So it was there, too.

What was there?

Oh, maybe it was a traveling

Door-to-door salesman. Heh.

On this island?

No. What I meant was,

Maybe it was air in your hot water t*nk.

Gilligan, we don't have a hot water t*nk.

What I meant was air in your pipes.

We don't have any pipes, either.

Maybe you ought to talk with your landlord.

Oh, gilligan, this is serious.

We heard some awfully strange noises in the night,

And gilligan? Yeah?

Once, when I got up and looked out the window,

I thought I saw... Don't say it!

Aah!

Hi, ginger.

Mary ann, did you see the magazine

I was reading last night?

Yeah, I thought you left it on the table.

I thought so, too.

Maybe it's under the table.

Couldn't be. Why not?

The table's gone, too.

That's why not, all right.

Ginger, I think gilligan knows something.

I don't know anything about anything.

That's strange.

What's strange? For gilligan,

Not to know anything about anything

Is perfectly normal.

Mr. Howell: lovey, I wonder how

We're gonna get that thing down.

I mean, it would take an engineer...

Oh, gilligan.

Oh, hi, mr. And mrs. Howell.

Is there something wrong, gilligan?

Yes, yes, my boy,

You seem like you're in another world.

Mr. Howell, don't say that.

I want to stay here in this world.

Ha ha. Permission granted. Ha!

Oh, thurston, you're so democratic.

Lovey, lovey, watch your language.

Gilligan, my boy, there's something

I want to discuss with you.

Yes, mr. Howell?

I wish you'd stop from playing

Those dreary little practical jokes.

Me? What kind of jokes?

Well, like that, like that.

I mean, the idea of putting my practice polo pony

Way up in a tree like that.

I didn't do that, mr. Howell.

Well, the polo pony didn't fly up there.

It might have. It what?

If it was a horse fly. Heh heh heh.

Gilligan, my boy, you still want

To stay in this world?

Oh, thurston, you should scold him, too,

For doing that silly dance

On our patio last night.

It wasn't at all funny.

Wasn't it cold out there?

I mean, doing that dance

Dressed only in a little white night shirt?

Mr. Howell, I didn't do any dance on your patio last night.

Oh? Well, then it must have been somebody else.

Yes, but who?

Mrs. Howell: whom.

I don't know, but it wasn't meem.

Whom, who?

You know, lovey, my dear,

We're gonna have a dickens of a time

Getting that thing down, so do be careful.

Me? I?

Whom, baby.

What time did you say this was, professor?

Shortly after : .

Oh, well, then it couldn't have been gilligan or me,

'Cause we were both sound asleep.

Both of you?

Well, yes.

Well, then, skipper, if you were asleep,

How could you know that gilligan was?

Well, because he told me when he woke up.

Well, if gilligan was asleep,

How could he know that you were?

Well, because i... Well... Yes.

If there's anything I can't stand, it's logic.

Oh...

I should be able to figure out a logical answer.

Well, what sort of a sound was it?

Well, as I recall, it was a...

It was a mournful sort of a cry.

Let's see, it was a... Ooooh!

The ghost!

The ghost! The ghost!

It's after me! It's after me!

Gilligan!

It was me!

Ooooh!

[Wailing]

Gilligan, I am trying to get some sleep.

Now can we turn out the light?

I can't go to bed.

I'm not sleepy.

Well, then why don't you get yourself a book?

You know reading always puts you to sleep.

Ok.

[Skipper sighs]

[Clatters]

Shh.

Now what?

I can't read. I lost my glasses.

You don't wear glasses.

Then how do you expect me to read?

Gilligan!

Skipper, come on.

Let's go play some checkers.

I don't wanna play checkers!

I wanna go to sleep.

Let's play some cards. I'll let you win.

Gilligan, I always win.

I'll let you lose.

Will you put that light out?

No, sir, skipper, when you're living

On a haunted island, anything can happen.

All right!

All right!

All right!

I'll get the cards.

No, we're not going to play cards.

We're gonna settle this ghost business

Right here and now.

But, skipper... No arguments!

Now, I want you to go outside,

And I don't want you to come back in

Until you've counted .

But it's dark out there.

Go out and count to !

Can I count to by fives?

No, gilligan.

Fours?

No! By ones.

, , , , , , , , , !

I can count faster that that.

- - - - - - - - - !

Gilligan, outside!

[Sighs]

!

Outside!

Hello, gilligan.

Hi, skipper.

Well, gilligan, how does it feel to be cured?

You walked right in to the front of a ghost,

And you weren't even scared.

I knew you weren't a ghost.

A ghost doesn't wear a sheet stamped s.s. Minnow.

We're gonna cure this ghost thing right now.

Anybody in their right minds knows

That there's no such thing as a g...

[Groans]

Skipper?

What happened?

Skipper?

I'll revive you! I'll revive you!

Where'd you go?

Oh, there you are.

[Sighs]

Oh, skipper, I'm not gonna sleep

In that hut another minute!

It's haunted!

The whole island is haunted!

You have to put us up for the night.

Well, but i... We only have hammocks.

Only... Well, I've got mine. Just a minute.

[All shouting at once]

The howell is sleeping! The howell is sleeping!

All: aah!

Mr. Howell: oh, heavens, I've...

Good night, everybody.

We know there's got to be a logical answer.

Yeah, but does the ghost know?

Quiet, gilligan.

Now, go on, professor.

All right, we all think we've seen a ghost.

But could it have been, say,

A patch of fog?

Didn't look like fog to me.

Me either.

All right, what about a cloud or a white sheet?

Well, I think it's possible, professor.

Girls, have either of you noticed a sheet missing?

Come to think of it, there is a sheet missing.

It was gone from the clothes line a few days ago.

And that was just about the time our ghost showed up.

Perhaps that sheet blew off the line.

Why, certainly,

And it's been blowing around ever since!

That's what we've all seen,

Just a plain, old sheet.

Right, gilligan?

Right, skipper, a sheet with arms and legs

And a voice that goes... Ooooh!

Stop that!

[All talking at once]

Therefore, find the sheet,

And I think you'll have your ghost.

I'll go with you.

No, gilligan.

I think we can cover more ground separately.

Skipper, if I see that sheet first,

I won't be covering ground,

The ground will be covering me.

Yes, or I'll be covering you.

Ghost: ooooh!

Do I hear somebody?

I thought I heard somebody.

Ghost: you no hear nobody.

Oh, that's good.

You only hear ghost.

Ghost?

Me, I am ghost.

Are you a good ghost or a bad... Bad ghost?

Good ghost.

How come you scare people?

Because people scare me.

That is why you must all get off ghost's island.

Yes, sir, mr. Ghost.

Why, we didn't know it was your island,

But we have no way to get off.

You find way!

You must all leave, and soon.

Ooooh!

Skipper... Skipper... I found the ghost.

I found the g... Ooooh!

Aah!

Ooooh!

Gilligan: skipper!

Skipper! Skipper!

Skipper!

Gilligan, little buddy, I've got great news!

Later, skipper. We've gotta get off the island.

If only we had a boat...

Skipper! Oh, we found a boat!

Yeah, I know.

And listen to this, gilligan.

"Boat has all the things you need for long trip.

Take it. It is for you."

Signed "your friend, the ghost."

Ooooh!

Gilligan, we've got everything we need...

Food, water, compass.

Everything to help us sail home.

Yeah, after all this time on the island,

It'll feel good to be on dry land again.

Yes.

Gilligan, this is dry land.

Yeah, but it's surrounded by wet.

Oh, never mind.

Now let's get up to the others

And tell them about the boat.

Just can't get over the fact

That a ghost gave us a boat.

Well, maybe he didn't.

He what?

Maybe it's a ghost ship.

Maybe it's not even really here.

Well, of course it's really here.

Can't you see it?

Yeah, but maybe we only think we can see it.

It feels like a boat.

It is a boat, gilligan!

Now I'll go up and tell the howells and the professor.

You go up and tell mary ann and ginger.

Ok, skipper.

Oh, and tell them that the boat's going to be crowded,

So we only carry what we need.

Only carry what we need.

That's right. Tell the girls, no souvenirs.

No souvenirs.

Just tell them to come down here with their bare essentials.

Bare essentials, yeah.

Their what?

Gilligan, will you get up there and tell them about the boat?

Tell them to come down here with their bare essentials?

Ok, but I sure hope they don't catch a cold.

Whenever you're ready, we can leave.

Gilligan, you're sure that you and skipper

Saw the boat, didn't you?

Uh-huh. We both touched it

To make sure it was real.

Oh, in that case, we'll be packed in minutes.

Well, wait a minute. Aren't you scared

To go in a boat that's been left by a ghost?

Gilligan, if a witch came on this island,

I'd fight her for the broom.

And another thing... The skipper told me to tell everybody else

Including you to bring your, um... Bare essentials.

I'd be happy to.

Me, too.

Oh. Well, ok. I'll keep my eyes closed.

So, as soon as possible, we'll set sail.

Oh, dear. There won't be anybody

To meet us at the dock.

No. Unless we're met by royalty, we just...

Won't leave, that's all.

Then stay behind.

We'll go! We'll go! He can be so impetuous, so big...

Now, look, it's a small boat, so don't take anything

Except what you absolutely need.

Oh, I never go anywhere without my furs and jewelry.

I told you, only the essentials.

I'll handle this. I'll handle this.

Captain, suppose I were to make

A rather small donation to the sailors' fund?

Oh, mr. Howell... A large donation?

No. Well then, to buy it...

For the last time, no, no, no!

That sounds rather definite.

All right. We'll just have to get along

With these little kits, that's all.

Oh, come on, mr. Howell.

There's nothing in those trunks

That we actually need for survival.

Well, there most certainly is.

There's my fox and my leopard

And my chinchilla and my mink and my sable...

My money.

One more word, and I leave you.

Thurston!

What's taking everybody so long?

Maybe nobody wants to leave.

Well, of course everybody's anxious to leave, gilligan.

I'm not.

Why, certainly everybody wants

To get back to civilization.

I had fun here.

But, gilligan, there'll be people on the streets...

Yeah, pushing and shoving.

And restaurants... Waiting for a table.

And you'll get paid for a day's work.

Who cares about money?

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Who said a dirty word? "Who cares about money?"

Oh, please, mr. Howell.

I said no luggage.

This is not my luggage. This is my wallet.

Mrs. Howell, you sure got fat fast.

Oh, I haven't gained an ounce.

Funny-looking coat. It's got fox down to here

And leopard down to there

And chinchilla down to there.

Thurston, do I have to take them off?

Not by the hair of your chinny chinchilla.

There you are, girls.

Is it all right if we each take a bag?

Well, yes. But i...

Well, I wish you'd share just one.

Oh, honestly, skipper. We just took what we needed.

Just the bare necessities.

Lipstick, rouge, eye shadow, mascara...

Hair rollers, hair spray, nail polish, and eyeliner.

Skipper, they forgot the bare essentials.

If you'll excuse me, girls.

Mr. Howell: let's get going, shall we?

Sorry, but we are not going anywhere.

Oh, thurston, did you hear that?

He said we're not going anywhere.

Well, these eggheads,

They never say what they mean.

I said exactly what I meant.

We are not going.

But professor, you must be kidding!

We've got the boat and everything.

Unfortunately, I am very suspicious.

There is something rotten in denmark.

What do we care?

We don't go anywhere near denmark.

Thurston, you're right. They don't say what they mean.

Now, consider this...

First, someone tries to frighten us off the island.

Then, when they discover we can't leave,

They provide us with a boat. Why?

I know... So we can leave! Let's go, everybody.

Don't you see, gilligan? It's a trap.

Well, no, it's not a trap. It's a boat.

We touched it and felt it.

But come to think of it,

We haven't sailed in it.

Maybe this ghost not only wants us off the island.

Maybe he wants us dead.

That is a strong possibility.

Well, why would he want a thing like that?

I'm not sure what his motive is,

But just to be on the safe side,

I propose we send the boat out first with a dummy aboard.

Oh, no! Oh, no!

I'm not going out there alone!

Gilligan, stop that!

But what if it's safe?

Well, in that case,

We retrieve the boat and sail for home.

Oh, but if he's watching,

And there's only one dummy aboard...

Oh, no! I said... Gilligan!

We will use dummies, one resembling each of us.

You might say real dead ringers!

[Chuckles]

Gilligan, I can't seem to find a coconut

That's big enough for my cap.

You should've gone to the other side of the island

And got a jumbo-sized one.

I don't think that's very funny.

All I meant was that you're a big guy

And you've got a big head.

Gilligan... And a big heart.

Thank you. Well, never mind, gilligan.

I'll end up using a gourd, I guess.

What is it you're doing?

Making you.

That's supposed to be me?

Only the bottom half.

Come on, gilligan. I'm not this big.

Well, skipper, you said to make it lifelike, remember?

But I'm not that big, gilligan.

Sure, you are.

I am not.

Sure, you are.

I am not, gilligan.

Sure, you are.

Gilligan, for goodness sakes, I'm not that big!

Yes, you are, skipper!

I am not, gilligan!

Yes, you are, skipper! I am not!

Well, girls, how do they look?

Oh, we never could have done them

Ourselves, professor.

Well, fortunately, I happen to know a little something

About the construction of mannequins.

Ginger, don't you think I'd look better

In my red gingham dress?

Definitely.

Brighter colors are much better at night.

Girls, that's not important.

Well, you know, and I'd look much better

In my beaded beige.

But these are the clothes you picked out!

We changed our minds.

We wouldn't be caught dead in these things.

Well, that's just exactly what might happen.

Well, professor, even if we're dummies,

We have to look right.

All right. All right!

Professor... Tsk tsk tsk.

Oh, good heavens. Forgive me.

Darling, I'm all out of s.

Good. Then use these s, my dear.

? Oh, dear, no. Then I'd be lopsided.

I've stuffed this sleeve with s.

Oh, I'll give you a check to make up the difference.

Darling, look.

The others are headed for the lagoon.

Well, let's join them.

All right. I'll ask the skipper to carry the dummies.

The skipper? Please!

I wouldn't even let my own mother carry these.

You're right.

♪ Aloha-oe ♪

♪ Aloha-oe ♪

♪ Aloha-oe ♪

Oh, gilligan. That is not necessary.

Now, come on. Let's go find the others.

There it goes.

Yeah!

If anything's going to happen, it should happen soon.

Yeah!

Shh!

He should be along any minute.

Yeah!

Gilligan, can't you ever say no?

Yeah!

Doesn't look as though anything's going to happen.

Yeah. No.

[Kaboom]

[Foreign accent] calling w- . You there?

I am here. Go ahead.

We can now claim island.

Squatters are dead?

Very dead.

You were right, professor!

Whoever did this thinks we are now dead, right?

All right, then we'll be dead!

Oh, no. Not again. We just got finished

Being blown all to pieces.

We are going to fight that ghost on his own grounds.

The cemetery? Oh, no. Not me.

Oh, no. All we have to do is round up sheets.

All right, everybody, let's go.

Sheets?

Sheets. Oh, I know where they are.

Other powers must now deal with us

For offshore oil rights.

You come?

I will get the boat started at once.

Now, you all know what to do.

Scatter, and move in and out and around the huts.

All right?

Move out.

Aah! The ghost got me!

Gilligan, it's me, the professor.

Oh.

Now, come on. Get a move on.

Ooooh!

All right. I wait until tomorrow.

By then, engine will be fixed

And I come after you.

You have place to sleep?

I sleep in huts.

Corpse cold, but bed still warm.

Ha ha ha ha! [Bushes rustling]

Wait...

I hear something.

What you hear?

[Shuffling]

A feetstep.

A feetstep?

Others all dead.

Must be new intruder on island.

I scare him away, too.

[All wailing]

I don't see anything. Do you?

No. You know why you don't?

No. Why?

Because you got a sheet over your head.

There goes one of us.

Ooooh!

Gilligan, it's the... It's the g... G...

Ghost. G... Ghost!

Ghost!

Aah! Aah!

[All wailing]

[All wailing]

W- , listen, quick!

I listen.

This island... She's crazy!

P-pick me up. Hurry!

Skipper: look, everybody!

There he is!

Oh, never mind.

I pick you up!

Skipper: get him! Quick!

[All wail]

Hi, skipper.

Guess what I found down at the lagoon.

What, gilligan?

Some of our clothes from the dummies.

Oh, fine.

Just leave them there on the table.

I'll have mary ann rinse the salt water out of them

After I finish this.

Ok.

Oh, boy! Am I going to sleep tonight

Now that our friend the ghost is gone.

Me, too. Things were getting pretty spooky around here.

Skipper? Yes?

Skipper!

Your shirt! It's haunted!

The ghost haunted your shirt!

Ha ha ha!

Gilligan, little buddy, you're too much.

Yah! Ha ha ha!

♪ Now this is a tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In their tropic island nest ♪

♪ No phone, no lights ♪

♪ No motor cars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪