03x03 - Pass the Vegetables, Please

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship set ground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

How they bitin', little buddy?

They're not even gumming.

Skipper, I got a bite.

Must be a real big one, skipper.

So do i. Mine must weigh pounds.

Whoo-hoo!

Watch it, little buddy.

You're fouling my line.

Gilligan!

You're fouling my line.

Now, get it loose!

Watch my line, little buddy!

You're getting it all fouled up!

Gilligan!

You're fouling my line.

Now, get it loose!

Get it loose!

Gilligan.

Gill--

Get it, gilligan! Grab my line!

Will you get my foot out of this bucket?

Pull!

Uhh!

All right.

Whose side are you on, the fish's?

Now, just get it yourself!

Gilligan, would you hand me that shoe?

If that's a fish, it must come packed in cans.

Oh, boy. Packages of seeds.

"Beets, carrots, spinach, vegetables."

Skipper! Professor! Look what I caught!

Carrots and beets and spinach!

Vegetables!

Oh, professor, look at this.

We've got cauliflower. We've got carrots.

Ah, green peas, artichokes.

Yeah, and look at this-- idaho potatoes.

It's been so long since I've tasted an idaho potato,

I won't know what it tastes like.

Are we gonna grow idaho potatoes?

That's right, little buddy.

We're gonna grow idaho potatoes right here.

They sure are gonna have to have long roots.

Gilligan, catching this box of seeds

Is the best thing you've done since we were marooned.

Exactly, little buddy.

If you were a girl, I'd kiss you.

Lucky me. I'm a boy.

With these seeds, we'll have enough vegetables

As long as we're forced to stay here.

Oh, and don't forget,

Mary ann was raised on a farm,

So she's gonna be a big help.

Hey, professor, what's a truffle?

Why it's a subterranean fungus with solid tuber-like bodies.

It's known for its pungent qualities.

It's most delectable.

Yeah, but can you eat it?

Well, it's a gourmet's delight.

Yeah, but can you eat it?

That's what I've been trying to tell you, gilligan.

It's delicious.

Oh, you finally said a word I understood.

Boy, wait'll the others hear about this.

A veritable gold mine of goodies.

Lovey, look, your favorites-- little sugar beets!

Oh, thurston, it's impossible.

No, it isn't. It says so right there on the package.

But sugar beets come in cans.

No, no, first you have to plant them in the ground.

Oh, please, don't be silly.

I've seen them in their natural habitat--

A supermarket.

Not shopping, you understand. Just sightseeing.

Actually, I was showing some visiting royalty

A poverty pocket.

Mrs. Howell, sugar beets have to come out of the ground

Before you can put them in cans.

Ew, what a perfectly ghastly idea.

Well, you'll see when we plant them all in the ground.

I hope you're using the editorial "we."

Thurston means you can't expect a howell

To dig in the ground.

But you have to dig before you plant.

If you mention manual labor once more,

I'm gonna order you off the property.

Now, you see, gilligan?

Your silly notions have upset mr. Howell.

Mrs. Howell, if you really want sugar beets...

Well, I do, I do, I just adore them.

Well, we all have to pitch in, then.

Oh, well, I intend to do my part, I assure you.

Good. Dig, plant, water, fertilize, or pick--

Which would you rather do?

Eat.

My beets.

Beets.

Squash.

Lettuce.

My favorite is spinach.

My favorite doesn't seem to be here.

Well, spinach, cucumber...

Truffles?

Don't you know what a truffle is?

No. We never grew any in kansas.

A truffle is a subterranean tube

That runs into a fungus.

Tube that runs into a fungus?

What?

Uh, I wish the professor'd

Learn to speak english.

Let's see...radishes, swiss chard...

Carrots!

You like carrots?

Oh, like them? I love them.

Oh, gilligan, they're awfully good for you.

Why, the more you eat, the better your eyesight.

Everybody knows that carrots are good for your eyes.

Why, certainly!

After all, did you ever see a rabbit wearing glasses?

Whoa, gilligan.

Whoa, gilligan!

Gilligan, you're supposed to turn a little to the left.

Skipper, I've never been a horse before.

Well, how much do you need to know to be a horse?

We'll go over it again.

Now, when I pull a little, you turn a little.

When I pull a lot, you turn a lot.

When I pull on both of 'em,

You're supposed to stop!

Have you got it?

I've got it.

All right, let's try it again.

Isn't it time for lunch?

Gilligan, horses don't eat lunch.

Now, let's get going.

[Clicking tongue]

Huh?

What do you do when I say... [Clicking tongue]?

[Neighs]

Good soil, but it's much too heavy for new plants.

Yes, the water won't drain well enough

To keep the seeds moist.

You better think of something quick.

The skipper's sittin' at the table

With a napkin tucked under his chin.

Well, he's gonna sit there for quite a while,

Because with this type of soil,

It'll take even longer

For the vegetables to come up.

I think my father used to use sand or something

To help the drainage.

That's a good idea.

Plenty of sand at the lagoon.

Gilligan!

Aw, look. I did all the weeding and the planting

And the watering, and everything.

An excellent job, at that.

Oh, and we do need the sand.

Ok, but I bet your father didn't grow anything

On this farm of his.

He did, too!

How could he? I wasn't there to do all the work.

Gilligan, are you almost finished?

Almost.

A sand castle?

I had some extra sand.

Well, it looks like I'm wasting my time

Trying to mold your character.

Is that what you're tryin' to do?

Why, certainly, gilligan.

Why do you suppose I have you chop the wood,

Bring up water, pick up coconuts,

And work on the farm?

I'm trying to strengthen your character.

I'm trying to make you officer material!

Me? An officer? That's impossible.

Why?

I'm too busy being the whole crew.

Oh, spread the sand, gilligan.

You just don't understand--

Over there!

Hey, skipper! Professor! Mary ann!

What's the matter?

The spinach is growing.

Oh, that's impossible.

It is? Look!

Well, we only planted it days ago.

Gilligan, what's the matter?

The spinach is growing.

Well, it can't be! It takes at--

Professor!

They look like spinach plants.

Well, the carrots. Are they coming up, too?

Are they? Look!

Oh! Oh, the carrots! Aren't they beautiful?

Is something wrong, little buddy?

Nothing's wrong. Everything's perfect.

Well, it seems our vegetables

Have not only taken root,

But they've begun to grow

At a most miraculous rate.

Well, just look! They're popping up all over the place.

Little buddy, I want to compliment you.

Thanks, skipper.

You've really done a fine job.

Put her there, pal!

Eh...

Give me this!

Oh, look, lovey. Ha ha ha!

Lovey, look. Look the--the mushrooms are--are mushing.

Yes, but the beats are b*ating them.

Oh, you had a witty one.

Oh, thank you, dear.

Pretty soon, the vegetables will be ready.

Gilligan will pick them,

Mary ann will clean them,

And ginger will prepare them.

Yes, but on second thought, oughtn't we do something?

Oh, perish the thought.

Every hive must have a queen.

The rest are workers.

Yes, but I feel a little guilty.

Maybe we should make some kind of an effort.

What do you suggest?

Well, we could be... Host and hostess at a dinner party.

A vegetarian "do"!

I never saw anything like this back on our farm.

Except under a cow.

What strange-looking vegetables.

What are these?

Cucumbers, I think.

And what's this funny-looking thing, corn?

Well, i--i--

I guess this is budget corn, mary ann.

Budget corn?

Yes--making both ends meet. Ha ha ha!

A never-ending delight.

They sure are funny-lookin'.

Well, who cares what they look like?

We've got fresh vegetables.

Perhaps being submerged in salt water

Has had an effect on the seeds.

If my father ever saw string beans like this,

I think he'd faint.

They look more like pretzel beans.

Pretzels. Oh, if we only had some beer to go with 'em!

Skipper, pass the spinach, please.

Gilligan, that's the fourth helping of spinach you've had.

Sixth. I snuck .

Ginger, would you please pass the artichoke, my dear?

Sure, mr. Howell. Do you like them?

Thank you. The way you prepared them

Reminds me of my chef herman.

It's the only thing about you

That reminds me of my chef herman.

Skipper: professor, please, the string beans?

Mrs. Howell, please pass the carrots.

Oh, yes, of course, dear.

We don't grow carrots like this back home.

I never realized how much I missed vegetables until now.

I think the things I miss the most

Are vegetables and dates.

We have plenty of dates here on the island.

Not the kind I miss.

Professor, please, the string beans?

Could you pass the spinach back?

Would you, uh--may I have the artichokes?

Since we all seem to have our favorite vegetables,

Let's move them near us.

Spinach next to me.

Oh, the carrots, please.

Oh, I just love beets. I want the beets!

I adore sugar beets!

[Animated conversation]

Radio: ...interrupt this program for a news bulletin

From the experimental agriculture laboratories in hawaii.

It seems that a box containing radioactive seeds is missing.

Shh! I think he said something about seeds.

The vegetable seeds were in a small wooden crate

And individually packaged.

These radioactive seeds are of an experimental nature

And considered dangerous.

The box is clearly labeled "danger.

Experimental. Radioactive."

On the chance they did not fall overboard,

Anyone finding them or knowing anything about them,

Please contact the agricultural department in hawaii.

Let me repeat: the seeds are radioactive

And considered extremely dangerous.

Now back to our program of cheery, daytime tunes!

Professor, you don't suppose...

Well, he said that the crate was clearly labeled.

But when gilligan showed us the crate,

It didn't have a cover on it. Did it?

I took the cover off.

Do you know where it is?

I made it into this bench right here.

Nothing there, see?

Oh!

Of course, this book is dated.

It doesn't contain much information

About the consumption of radioactive food.

However, it does say that it's entirely possible

That it could be fatal.

But on the other hand, it doesn't say that it must be fatal.

So, you see, there is no...

Cause for...

Now, what could I have said to make them faint?

Gilligan, are you frightened?

No.

You're not?

I'm too scared to be frightened.

How dumb can I be?

Dumb? Why, you're the smartest man I ever knew.

How could I be so stupid?

Of all the dumb...

Professor, don't call yourself dumb

Just because you can't find a cure for this...disease.

We're doing the wrong thing.

Lying still could k*ll us.

We should be moving around.

Well, of all the...

I never heard of such a thing!

For goodness sake, professor!

Move around gilligan!

Oh, skipper, I've gotta sit down. I'm exhausted.

Don't sit down now, mary ann.

Come on, now, don't you remember?

The professor said to keep our blood circulating.

Otherwise, that radioactive stuff

Will settle in one place. Now, come on.

But I'm tired. After all, I haven't got your legs.

Well, it's a good thing you haven't, mary ann,

'Cause otherwise you couldn't get in those shorts.

Skipper! A boat! Look!

Where?

Over there!

Where? I don't see anything.

It's white with blue trim,

And it has a bridge or something covered in glass

And a lifeboat hanging on the end.

Are you sure?

I don't see anything.

Mary ann, are you all right?

Oh, I'm feeling fine--

Oh, skipper, I'm not seeing things!

There's a boat right over there.

Professor! Quick!

Mary ann, I think that radioactive stuff

Is making you see things.

Professor, quick!

Come on, mary ann.

Professor?

Professor!

What's the matter?

Oh, there you are.

Mary ann sees a boat out there.

Oh, it's white with blue trim.

But I don't see anything out there

But water, mary ann.

I can even see the people on the deck.

There's a man in a red-and-white stripe t-shirt,

Another man in a blue shirt and blue slacks,

And beautiful women in bikinis.

Oh, I wish I could see that.

But I don't see anything out there.

I know I'm not imagining it.

Why... It's just as plain as your book over there.

You can see my book?

Well, of course. It's on the stump.

On the hill.

But that's a half a mile away.

It's, uh, turned to page ,

Some sort of chemical equation--

" No + h =

Hno + no."

Well, that's incredible!

Well, p-professor, if she can see the book,

Maybe there is a boat out there!

Why would I say there was a boat out there if there wasn't?

Well, keep your eye on the boat just in case.

Come on, skipper, let's build a signal fire.

Over here! Oh, come over here!

Boy, professor, what a great time to be rescued.

Now they can take us to the hospital,

And we can get cured of the radioactive whatchamacallit,

Whatever it is.

Skipper, that's it! That's the reason

For her fantastic eyesight.

What are you talking about?

Well, mary ann ate all those carrots.

Now, the radioactive treatment of those seeds

Must've magnified the carotene.

Carotene?

Well, that's the chemical in carrots

That's necessary for good eyesight.

Well, then it proves that she saw that boat out there!

Come on, let's get this fire started.

Gilligan! Gilligan!

Uhh!

W-what are you doing?

Well, obviously, gilligan, we're building a fire.

For a merit badge, huh?

No, not for a merit badge.

We're trying to signal that boat out there.

What boat?

The boat out there!

I don't see any boat.

Of course you don't.

Do you? No.

Professor, do you see the boat?

Oh, I can't see it, either.

But it's out there. Right?

Look, mary ann saw the boat out there.

Can you see mary ann?

No. How can I see mary ann

When she isn't even here?

The same way you can see the boat.

Gilligan, will you stop that?

Will you go get some firewood for the fire?

To signal the boat that we can't see, right?

Exactly.

Professor, what kind of a boat is it we can't see?

Uh, white with blue trim.

And it's got men and women on it.

Yeah, and the women are wearing bikinis!

Ooh, I wish I could see them,

Even if they're not there.

For the last time, gilligan, will you get over to that tree

And get some firewood for the fire?

I have a better idea. What?

Since we're making believe there's a boat,

Let's make believe we have a fire.

Gilligan!

I'm going. You don't have to yell.

Yes, I do! Now, will you get the firewood?!

Skipper, where do you want it?

Hey, professor!

Gilligan, little buddy, how did you pick that tree up?

With one hand.

Oh, it must be hollow.

Well, it must weigh or pounds.

Oh, that's ridiculous, professor.

If it weighed or pounds,

He couldn't lift it up. Let me--

Uhh.

Unh!

Uhh!

Uhh!

I can't budge it.

Gilligan, how did you do that?

Spinach. The spinach.

Gilligan kept eating the spinach.

The radioactive treatment of the seeds

Must've magnified the potency of the oxalic minerals.

That's how you got strength-- from eating spinach.

Well, right now let's worry about that boat out there.

Gilligan, since you're so strong,

Break off those branches and get the fire going real good.

All right, gilligan, now, will you stop playing games

And put it on the fire?

Oh, you can forget about the fire.

The boat's gone.

Gilligan, this is all your fault.

If you hadn't found that crate of seeds out there--

Now, hold it, skipper, hold it.

We were all excited

About finding those seeds,

And he didn't know they were contaminated.

Oh, of course. You're right, prof--

I'm sorry, little buddy.

Forgive m-- [crunch]

Uhh! Uhh! Ohh!

Gilligan, would you let go?

You're crushing my hand.

Oh, I'm sorry, skipper.

What's happened?

Well, it's those radioactive vegetables,

Mary ann. They've given you fantastic eyesight

And gilligan superpower.

Why, the potentials are unlimited.

Why the increase in the potency of the vitamins alone

Could make us healthier than we ever were before.

Yes, if they don't k*ll us first.

Yeah. We'll be the healthiest dead people around.

Mrs. Howell.

What about her?

Well, she kept eating those sugar beets.

Well, so what?

Well, sugar is energy.

I wonder what effect it's had on her.

Lovey, what has happened to you?

Lovey, slow down.

I'm exhausted just watching you!

At least take a coffee break.

Good idea.

I may enter that woman in the olympics.

Hey, gilligan, would you mind putting me down?

I'm getting thirsty.

I'd like to get something to drink.

Thank you, little buddy.

Say, what about you?

You've been doing all the exercise.

Aren't you thirsty?

Oh, yeah.

I'll go get us some coconut milk.

Fine.

Gilligan, you're a walking disaster area.

You've got to learn to be careful.

Now, pick up a coconut... But be gentle.

There.

See?

That's much better.

Now just toss it over here, gilligan.

Gilligan, I told you to be careful.

I'll fix it, skipper.

No, gilligan, don't touch it! Uh--

[Sighs]

Skipper! Skipper! Gilligan!

W-what's happened?

I think I've found a cure for us.

Well, great! Yeah!

I've applied the principles

Of theoretic chemistry

To the problem of radioactivity.

Now, the best preventative for the internal bombardment

Of radioactive particles

Is through their containment by hydrocarbons.

Would you mind repeating that?

Not at all. I've applied the principles

Of theoretic chemistry

To the problem of radioactivity.

Oh, come on, professor, never mind

All the scientific lingo.

What are you trying to tell us?

That our best protection against the vegetables we've eaten

Is through hydroc-- well, that is to say, through plant fats.

And the best source of plant fats

Is the soap we've been making here on the island.

Do you mean we have to take a bath with that soap?

No. We shall have to consume it internally.

Oh, thank goodness. For a minute there,

I thought we were gonna have to eat it.

Do we really have to eat soap, professor?

Absolutely.

Seems a shame to wash out my mouth with soap

When I didn't say anything bad.

Gilligan, you are gonna eat a piece of soap,

And I'm gonna sit here and see that you do.

Now, take a piece of soap.

All right. Now, start eating.

Gilligan.

Eat.

This stuff just tastes awful.

Never mind that, gilligan.

Just do as the professor says.

Oh! Just call me "bubbles"!

Oh, my goodness!

This could be the start of a whole career!

Ginger grant-- bubble dancer.

It's working!

The hydrocarbons are absorbing the radioactivity!

Keep eating!

When's this gonna stop?

Everything's gonna be all right.

[All talking excitedly at once]

Gilligan, the professor said we're all cured.

Isn't that good news?

Yeah. But that soap didn't taste bad

After you got used to it.

Oh, I thought it tasted awful.

Mmm. I thought it tasted good.

Gilligan.

Are you eating something?

Hmm?

You're not eating...

You're not eating any more of that soap?

Whatever gave you that--[hiccup]--

Id--[hiccup]-- gilligan?!

Gilligan?

[Boom]

♪ Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In the tropic island nest ♪

No phone... No lights...

♪ No motorcars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪