03x09 - Ring Around Gilligan

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship set ground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

After all these years on the island,

We're finally building a raft.

I mean, what a dumb thing.

Gilligan, if the professor says

There's a strange shift in the currents,

I believe him,

And if he says we can get this raft

Out in the shipping lanes, I believe him again.

You know what I believe?

What?

I believe I'm out of vines.

Then why don't you go get some more?

Aye, aye, mon capitaine.

Aye, aye, mon capitaine?

I saw this movie once.

It was all about the french foreign legion.

It had all these guys in a fort

And a lot of dead dummies on the wall,

And there was this big, fat, tough sergeant

Just like you, skip--

I'll go get the vine.

Get the vines.

[Thump]

It's a ring.

Oh!

It must be worth a fortune.

Hey, skipper! Hey, skipper!

[Russian accent] igor, we have found a guinea pig.

[Boing]

Dr. Balinkoff to robot gilligan.

Dr. Balinkoff to robot gilligan.

I hear and obey.

Coming, master.

Halt!

You called, master?

Yes, my obedient little guinea pig.

I heard and obeyed, master.

You know who I am, gilligan?

I know who you are, gilligan.

No, no, no. I am dr. Boris balinkoff.

The mad scientist.

No. Scientist, yes.

Mad, no.

[Laughs crazily]

Yes, master.

Go into the cave.

Yes, master.

Ha ha ha!

I have invented

The greatest electronic invention of all time.

With this...

Controlling that ring,

I can make any man a human robot.

Human robot gilligan ready for duty, sir.

As long as you will be wearing my ring,

You will obey every command.

Do you understand?

Yes, master.

You and your friends will help me

With the most ingenious crime in history.

Yes, mad scientist.

If I told you a million times, I told you once--

Scientist, yes. Mad, no.

[Cackles]

When you come out of your trance,

You will have forgotten everything.

Yes, master.

And now, go back to your little grass shack.

Aye, aye, mister. Mister master.

Mister master mad.

Will you go, please?!

Oh, hi, ginger and mary ann. Oh, hi, mrs. Howell.

Oh, gilligan, we have a little problem.

So does the skipper. He needs a sail.

Well, you see, the hem on this dress--

Mrs. Howell.

Gilligan, what's more important, the dress or a sail?

A sail.

Not if you're getting out of the bathtub, it isn't.

Gilligan, tell the skipper

That we'll have the sail for him in a few minutes.

Right. Oh, gilligan.

This ring would look so well with my dress.

Will you lend it to me

For the bon voyage party tomorrow night?

Well, I don't know, mrs. Howell. It's the only ring--

Oh, darling, thank you so much.

I'll take very good care of it.

I hope it doesn't mean we're engaged.

[Boing]

Listen to your instructions carefully.

Go to the howell hut,

Pack the suitcase with thousands of dollars,

And bring them to me.

Heh heh heh.

They're playing my song.

Lovey. Lovey!

Lovey, what are you doing?

I am packing a suitcase with money.

Well, where are we going?

Not we. I.

Oh, my dear wife has been struck by some island madness.

Go back to bed, thurston.

No! I'll call all the specialists in the world.

Igor, what if they have found gilligan stealing the money

And they have sh*t him?

[Chatters]

You have taken the word right out of my mouth.

You are right.

To lose a valuable ring like that

Is not what I want.

Oh! Mrs. Howell.

I am sorry to be late, master,

But I had a little misunderstanding with my husband.

That's nice,

But where did you get the ring?

Gilligan loaned it to me.

Oh, well, I'm delighted to see you...

And your money.

I heard and I obeyed.

Marvelous. Marvelous.

Good show, my fair lady.

Would you like me to bring another suitcase full?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I have better things for you to do,

But not now. Later.

And now you must go like a good little rich robot.

Yes, master.

Au revoir, madame.

[Boing]

What in the world am I doing out here?

Walking in my sleep.

How plebeian of me.

Thurston! What on earth are you doing

Down there on the floor?

A man in your income bracket, really. Shame.

No. Stay away from me.

I'm gonna sue you for as*ault and battery.

as*ault and battery? What on earth are you talking about?

Mommy warned me about you vassar girls' yearlong gym classes.

My poor darling, you're delirious.

You wouldn't hit a man with a teddy bear, would you?

Why are you so frightened of me?

I wouldn't touch a receding hair on your head.

Oh, is that so?

When I woke up and found you stealing the money,

You gave me a judo flip,

And you fractured my money belt.

Oh, my poor darling.

You had a bad nightmare and fell out of bed.

Nightmare? Are you sure?

Well, of course. You had a bad dream.

Now get into bed.

Heavens, I'm impaled.

Go to sleep, dear.

Go to sleep and have a good dream this time.

Thank you, dear. There.

Night, teddy.

[Whistling]

Captain, please. Shh!

Mr. Howell's still asleep.

The poor man had a miserable night.

For some reason he's a mass of bruises.

He probably fell off his wallet.

Oh, yes. Probably did.

Are you and mr. Howell ready

For the trip on the raft?

Oh, that reminds me, captain.

Give gilligan back this ring.

It doesn't really go with any of the dresses

I plan to take.

Dresses?

Oh, mrs. Howell. Dress, one dress.

We only take necessities.

Well, then you're going to have

One very unhappy passenger in first class.

I can't understand what gilligan sees in this ring.

I wouldn't have this ring if i--

[Boing]

I have just discovered that you are building an escape raft.

I do not want anyone to leave this island

Until I have completed my experiment.

Yes, master.

Destroy the raft.

Destroy, destroy, destroy!

Aye, aye, master.

Roger, wilco. Over and out.

♪ This is the way we build our raft ♪

♪ Build our raft, build our raft ♪

Hi, skipper. The raft's almost finished.

All we need is some planking and a sail.

Pardon me.

What are you doing?

I'm destroying the raft.

Well, why?

Why does a man climb a mountain?

Because it's there.

I think I'm gonna cancel my reservation on this thing.

[Boing]

How'd I get here?

Ha! I must have blacked out.

Maybe too much sun. Ha ha.

I think the skipper's gone bll-bll-bll-bll.

Gilligan, mrs. Howell asked me to give you this ring.

What happened to the raft?

Well, you ought to know.

You did it with your trusty axe.

Oh, come on, gilligan.

Now, why would I want to wreck the raft?

Because it was there?

Come on, little buddy.

Don't try and lie your way out of this one.

I see you trying to hide that axe.

I didn't do it. You did it.

Don't you even remember? You were very polite about it.

You said, "pardon me," pushed me aside, and started whacking away.

Gilligan, will you knock that off and start rebuilding the raft?

Now get moving.

I saw him. Why should I take the rap?

Gilligan, what are you mumbling about?

Oh, he said, "pardon me,"

And then he wrecked it because it was there.

Because what was there? Who wrecked what?

Oh, you're on his side.

I know that. You're on his side.

Whose side?

Oh, forget it. Hey, listen.

Would you hold this ring for me?

I don't want to damage it while I'm working.

Sure.

[Boing]

I hear and I obey.

I don't know why I let the skipper push me around.

He did it. I didn't do it,

And because it's there. What a dumb reason.

Pardon me. Huh?

What are you doing?

Destroying the raft.

And do you know why?

Because it's there.

Miss grant.

Our robots are getting better every time.

Mission accomplished, master.

The raft is destroyed.

That's a good...

Little girl.

Unh!

Have you any further orders, master?

No. You'd better return to your friends.

I hear and I obey.

There is no doubt in my mind, igor,

That this invention can work on anyone.

[Chatters] yes, yes, yes!

We must rehearse them for this fantastic crime of all time.

Eh? Ha ha ha!

Good as new. All patched up and ready to launch.

Ah, good morning, gilligan.

I must say, that is a beauty.

I know why you're here.

You do? Mm-hmm.

You're gonna take an axe like this,

And you're gonna do this.

Wait a minute! Gilligan! Gilligan!

What are you doing?

I'm destroying the raft.

But why? But why?

Because it's there.

Oh, that boy has flipped his bun!

Gilligan.

Oh, back for seconds, huh?

Well, you're too late. Too late.

What're you talking about?

I just came to give you back your ring.

Well, thanks. If you stick around for a while,

I'll rebuild the raft, and you can destroy it again.

Hey, are you all right?

Here. Start warming up.

I'll go get the skipper an axe,

And you two can play doubles.

[Monkey chatters]

[Boing]

I ask you, is that peculiar

Or is that peculiar?

That's peculiar.

Gilligan!

Don't let him bite you.

He hast had his distemper sh*ts yet.

[Chatters]

[Chatters]

Gilligan, come down from there.

Be a nice monkey.

Look what I've got for you,

A nice, juicy banana.

If we capture him, we can get a fair price for him

At the bronx zoo, if he's unbruised, of course.

Igor! Igor!

How many times I've told you never to touch it!

For you, it is no-no!

[Boing]

Hey, what are you guys doing upside-down?

We're upside-down! You're upside-down

In more ways than one.

One of us is wrong.

Well, it's you, gilligan.

How long are you gonna hang there by your knees?

I'm not hanging by my--

Knees?

[Grunting]

[Monkey chatters]

[Chattering]

[Chattering]

[Boing]

Yes, master.

Dr. Balinkoff to robot gilligan.

Igor has just delivered to you a small sack

Containing small rings.

Distribute the small rings to the other castaways immediately,

But don't wake them up.

Distribute them immediately.

And now I am going to alert you

To your nefarious mission--

The most stupendous crime of all history.

You are going to help me rob

All the gold bars in fort knox.

You are my admiral.

Mine is not to question why.

I hear and obey.

I'm ready, willing, and able.

Yes, master. Yes, master.

Before we leave this island...

For this brilliant caper, we will have a rehearsal.

During the night you will collect coconuts.

I said, "coconuts."

They will represent gold bars.

You will collect all these coconuts

And bring them to the big hut.

At the count of , you will begin.

...

...

.

Ha ha ha!

Gilligan. Gilligan!

Wake up!

Good morning, skipper.

My arms. I must have strained them when I was sleeping.

Never mind all that.

What's the big idea?

Big idea?

Yes. I suppose you don't know anything about that.

What are you trying to do,

Corner the coconut market?

Skipper, I didn't do it.

I don't like work. In fact, I hate work.

I'm pro-lazy.

First you wreck the raft, and now this.

I ought to give you a big fat lip.

Hey, skipper. You got a ring just like mine.

For goodness sake. Where'd I get that?

Maybe you got it for a prize

For collecting the most coconuts.

[Castaways talking]

What's going on out there?

Unh! Gilligan, why do you stand on my feet?

[All talking]

What's all the excitement about?

Hey, skipper, they got rings like us.

I belonged to a club once

Where we all wore the same rings.

Young lady, I always join exclusive clubs.

As a matter of fact, I consider them suspect

If they accept me as a member.

The person who passed these rings out

Must be the same practical joker that put that sign up.

Skipper: "fort knox"!

All: gilligan.

[Boing]

Attention, robots.

It is time for a dress rehearsal

On our as*ault on fort knox.

Guards' protective devices have been put out of commission

By my gamma-laser cloud.

Now move in and take out all the gold bullion.

You are moving too slow! Faster!

Faster, faster!

You are supposed to be robbing fort knox,

Not taking a guided tour!

Faster!

Faster, faster!

Oh, no! Sloppy! Sloppy!

Halt!

Such dumb robots.

I will give you one more chance.

Please, be neat, sweet, petite,

But be fast and speedy!

Very speedy! Fast, fast, fast, fast!

Very good. Go! Go, go, go!

Ha! Ha ha!

Halt!

Now hear this.

Now hear this.

Deliver the gold bullion to me at the lagoon.

Go!

Faster!

Faster, faster!

Ha ha ha!

Excellent! Excellent!

Now give me the gold. Give it all to me.

Give it to me.

We hear and obey.

Not that way, you stupid robots!

Not that way!

Stop that! Not that way!

Aah! You have smashed it!

You have smashed it! [Boing]

What? Who is that?

What are we doing here?

[All talking]

Hey, come back!

Mr. Howell: rescue us! Don't go away!

Dr. Balinkoff: no! No! No!

Gilligan: help us!

Come back! We're stranded!

Gilligan: I'll get him. I'll get him.

After him! After him!

Ah, you look lovely as always, my dear.

Thank you, darling,

But you know, this whole nasty adventure has upset me.

Oh, now, now, my dear.

Besides, the professor says it's pointless to build a raft now.

We missed the current.

Well, look on the bright side.

Behind every dark cloud,

A howell can find a silver lining.

A silver lining? Oh.

Gold, perhaps. I'll show you what I mean.

[Whistles]

Come along, my dear.

You whistled for a cab, sir?

Uh, we're late, so ignore the signals.

Ma'am.

Mrs. Howell: thank you.


♪ Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In the tropic island nest ♪

No phone... No lights...

♪ No motorcars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪