03x26 - sl*ve Girl

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Gilligan's Island". Aired: September 26, 1964 – April 17, 1967.*
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Series follows the comic adventures of seven castaways as they try to survive on an island where they are shipwrecked.
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03x26 - sl*ve Girl

Post by bunniefuu »

Help!

He-help!

Help! Help!

Help!

He-help--

A girl!

You almost drowned!

You saved kalani?

Yeah, well, I heard you scream, see,

And I ran out there, and I swam out there,

A-and I just pulled you in.

You saved kalani? Yeah.

You saved kalani's life, now kalani your sl*ve.

sl*ve?!

♪ Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship's aground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

Gilligan, what's going on here? And who's she?

Skipper, you won't believe it.

I'll believe it.

No, skipper, you won't believe it.

Honest, you won't believe it.

Gilligan, if I say I'll believe it, I'll believe it.

Ok, skipper. I saved her from drowning,

Now she's my sl*ve.

I don't believe it!

Your sl*ve?

He saved kalani's life, now he is master.

Professor, you won't believe it!

Oh, don't go through that again, gilligan.

This girl says she's gilligan's sl*ve.

Professor: ah.

[Speaking native language]

[Speaking native language]

Professor: she's a member of the matoba tribe.

I don't believe it.

[Speaking native language]

[Speaking native language]

Gilligan?

Gilligan?

Uh, gilligan...

[Speaking native language]

[Speaking native language]

Don't you believe a word of it.

All I did was just save her life

From drowning.

Exactly. And according to matoba custom,

She must become your sl*ve.

Even if he doesn't want her to?

Well, if he refuses, he insults

The entire tribe.

Well, let's insult

Her entire tribe!

Professor: well, they'd att*ck and k*ll all of us.

Let's not insult her entire tribe.

No, not insult her,

Not insult her entire tribe...

Ginger, you mean she's gilligan's sl*ve?

Yeah, the professor just told me about it.

And you're going to hire her?

Of course! No more dishes to wash.

Oh, no more laundry, no more cooking, no more sewing.

Ginger, what's the rush?

I want to get there before the howells do.

Come on!

Thurston, we've simply got to hire

That native girl immediately.

It's been awful living here without an upstairs maid.

But, lovey, we don't have an upstairs.

So we'll make her a downstairs maid.

We don't have a downstairs either. As a matter of fact,

We don't even have servants' quarters.

We'll turn this into a maid's room.

But, lovey-poo, where would we sleep?

Thurston, with good help so hard to find,

We can't afford to give up the chance

To get an excellent maid.

Lovey, I hadn't thought of it that way.

Let's hurry, shall we, dear?

She gives massages!

A masseuse!

Oh, we must have her!

Oh, I've always wanted to have a massage!

Give master bath now.

Just a minute and I'll help you with the water.

Gilligan!

Gilligan, the professor said

That you really didn't want her.

I'll pay $ a week for her.

No, no. We'll give .

! !

You're bidding against me!

Oh, I'm sorry!

We'll pay , !

Oh, uh, sunday off every week!

Uh, sundays off a week!

She can have her own room!

We'll give her a suite of rooms!

Ginger: we'll give her her own television set!

Mrs. Howell: color! I'll take the job!

No, no, no!

Oh, kalani?

I am thurston howell iii,

One of the richest men in the world.

You will come to work for us,

Won't you, darling?

I'm ginger grant,

Internationally known actress.

I'm sure you'd rather work for me.

Kalani not work for anyone.

Only serve my master.

Master not work. Kalani do.

That's ridiculous!

If master work, kalani lose face.

But I need the exercise.

Kalani exercise for you.

Professor, I just can't stand it.

She's working her fingers to the bone,

And she won't let me do anything.

I don't know what to do about it. Well, i--

Every time I try to do something,

She always gets there ahead of me and does it.

She's gonna wear herself to a frazzle,

And I just don't know what to do. Well--

She's doing all the work here on the island,

And I feel very guilty about it,

And I don't know what to do about it. I mean--

Gilligan, if you just be quiet for a moment,

I'll tell you exactly what you can do about it.

What? Nothing.

Nothing? Or--

Or what?

Well, there is one exception

To this ancient matoba custom--

If someone wins her from you in mortal combat.

Well, why didn't you say so?

Somebody can win her from me in mortal combat.

That's great! That's the greatest idea I've ever heard of!

What's mortal combat?

A fight to the death--yours.

Do you have any other ideas?

'Fraid not.

Oh, there you are, gilligan, my boy. Sit down.

I certainly envy you having your own sl*ve.

I'd like to have one. Scrubbing the back, stroking the forehead.

Massaging the little tootsies,

Fluffing teddy up from time to time.

I'd sure like to give her to you,

But the only way is by mortal combat.

Mortal combat?

That means somebody's got to k*ll me--

Yes, I know what that means.

Gilligan, my boy, I have

A little proposition to make to you.

Well, gilligan, mr. Howell's partner

Must have been a bigger man than you.

Yeah, well, like they say,

The way to a man's stomach is through his heart.

Yes. Now, you are sure

You know what you're supposed to do?

Sure. Mr. Howell pretends to k*ll me,

And then she ends up being his sl*ve.

Be careful with that thing,

It could be dangerous!

No, it isn't. Mr. Howell says

There isn't any way to hurt anybody.

En garde! [Ripping]

Fee fi fo fum!

I smell the blood of gilligan! En garde!

En garde!

Gilligan! En garde!

En garde! The prize shall be the fair kalani.

Ow!

Foul! Blow was delivered in illegal territory.

En garde! La porte,

Le crayon, la plume, la grand-mère!

[Murmuring in french]

Now for the finale. Make it look good.

Aah! Ugh!

Skewered him!

Die already, will you?

Remove the debris. Merci!

Grab his legs, skipper.

[Humming]

Master.

Mmm, how sweet it is!

Ok, gilligan, you can open your eyes now.

Arise, my sl*ve.

Kalani.

Who he?

That ugundi. He saw fight.

Probably wants to congratulate me on my brilliant victory.

[Ugundi speaking native language]

Yes, well, convey my thanks

For his very good wishes.

Why, he's not congratulating you, mr. Howell.

Ugundi wants kalani, and he's challenging you to another fight.

Another fight?

With him.

With him?

To the death.

[Gasps]

Tell him I don't want to fight.

He won't believe it.

Well, tell him I'm too rich to die.

Tell him he can have kalani.

Mr. Howell, it's not that simple.

The matoba are a primitive people,

And in order not to lose face with his tribesmen,

Ugundi's gonna have to fight to take her.

But there's no honor in fighting me.

I'm too easy to k*ll.

All right, I'll try.

Uh, ugundi...

[Speaking native language]

[Speaking native language]

What'd he say?

Good.

You name time when we fight.

Well, um, um, how about, eh...

Years from-- from right now, hmm?

Ugundi not wait. k*ll now!

Ugundi! Gilligan not hurt.

He still master.

You master of kalani?

I guess so.

No, no, I am.

Yeah, he is.

No, I am.

Yeah, he is!

N-n-no, they are!

Yup! They are, they are.

[Speaks native language]

Who is master?

Gilligan is master.

He good to kalani.

Thanks a lot.

Ugundi fight you for kalani.

Sun high in sky.

Ugundi go away till sun go down.

You know what happen when sun go down?

Gilligan go down.

There, there, dear.

What a harrowing experience.

Yes, it was terrible.

I haven't been so scared

Since dad took the practice wheels off my bicycle.

Aw. If it's going to be too much trouble,

We'll get on without a maid.

Forget about the maid.

That monstrous native is gonna k*ll gilligan!

You never told me that!

No. I was too scared to think about it.

Oh, there, there, dear.

Yeah, I have you and teddy.

Yes. I'm not scared anymore.

Now you be brave, yes.

What would happen if we didn't let gilligan fight?

In that case, ugundi's tribe would att*ck,

And we'd all have to fight.

Yes, well, certainly we just can't stand around

And watch gilligan get k*lled by ugundi.

I agree with you, skipper.

There are some things worth fighting for

No matter what the cost.

And one of them is gilligan.

That's exactly how I feel.

All right, then, it's settled.

We've lived here together,

And if necessary, we'll die together.

Right.

I can't let you do that!

Gilligan, have you been listening to all of this?

If ugundi kills me, he kills me.

I can't let the rest of you die.

Gilligan, that's very noble.

It's the bravest thing

I've ever heard.

Oh, gilligan, you're a hero!

Well, if I'm so brave and noble and I'm a hero,

How come I'm so scared?

Little buddy, that's wonderful.

Hey, skipper. Maybe if I k*ll myself before ugundi does,

It won't hurt so much.

Gilligan, that's it!

What's it? What you just said!

What'd I say?

About k*lling yourself! That's a great idea,

And I'm going to help you do it!


Huh?!

I was certain I had seen this strychnosfera plant.

You know, the amazonian indians

Use the bark from this plant to make curare.

Curare? Well, isn't that a deadly poison?

Yes, and once in the bloodstream, it paralyzes the muscles.

It even stops the victim from breathing.

That's great, but how are you going

To get ugundi to take it?

Uh-uh! Not ugundi. You're going to take it.

Oh, well, that's diff-- me?

Yes. Now as I said, it paralyzes the muscles,

But when carefully administered,

It makes the person appear dead,

Even though he's very much alive.

Now ugundi will see gilligan dead.

He will take kalani and leave the island.

Yeah! Oh, boy, professor, you've sure got

A head on your shoulders.

Yeah, and that way I can keep my head

On my shoulders.

Yes!

How long is this going to take, professor?

We've only got an hour and a half left.

Just a little while. I must get the exact strength.

Well, now you're sure that this is going to be

Potent enough to k*ll gilligan?

Professor: oh, yes. He will be very dead.

I gotta hand it to you, professor,

You're a real genius.

When ugundi sees that gilligan is kaput,

He'll take kalani and leave the island.

Professor: and we'll all be safe.

Now in a few moments,

I'll have enough poison curare to do the job,

Then we'll get gilligan.

Those fiends!

If I hadn't heard it with my delicate pink ears,

I wouldn't have believed it!

Oh, I never thought the captain and the professor

Would do a thing like that.

They're trying to save their own skins.

Let's go find gilligan and protect him from his friends.

Gilligan, we've got to get you out of here.

Quick, quick, quick, my boy!

No time to ask questions. Hurry!

Hurry where?

Anywhere but here! They're plotting to k*ll you.

We haven't got time to waste.

They're on their way.

Ugundi's already here?

Not that fiend, the other fiends!

Gilligan: what other fiends?

Oh, the captain and t-t-the professor.

But they're not other--

Mr. Howell: look, you're--you're wasting time, gilligan.

But you don't understand, mr. Howell--

Gilligan, my boy, I hate to do this to you,

But it's for your own good.

Pow!

Lovey...i've struck another man!

Oh, thurston, isn't it wonderful?

You knocked him out!

But I bruised my little pinkie!

Aw, there, there, dear.

All he-men are so masculine.

We've got to hide him

Before the murderers arrive.

Let's take him back to our hut.

That's a good idea. We can hide him in the safe.

We'll cover him with $ , bills,

And they will never know.

Professor: it's perfect.

Now, I'll fill this hypodermic

So I can administer the poison to gilligan.

How potent is it?

/ Of one cc should knock him out for a hour.

Oh, I sure hope it works.

I'm sure it will.

[Mr. Howell grunting]

Lovey, I'm afraid I'm going to have to rest.

My flab is losing its tone.

Thurston!

Mr. Howell: those fiends!

Oh, you have to protect him

From those murderers.

Professor! They were here! They k*lled gilligan!

Here they come, lovey. What are we going to do?

Oh, you knocked out gilligan,

You can take care of them.

Of course you're right. My dear, stand back.

Only fair to warn you,

I was captain of the boxing team at vassar.

En garde!

When's it gonna happen? Are you sure you used enough?

I don't feel a thing.

The drug should be taking effect... Right about now.

It's not working! I don't feel a--

Seeing my little buddy

Lying motionless like that,

It kinda gives me the willies.

Are you sure he's ok?

He's barely breathing.

And there's hardly any heartbeat.

No pulse! Good!

Good?

Yes, he's fine!

Oh, and not a minute too soon.

Here comes ugundi.

[Speaking native language]

What happened to one you call gilligan?

He's dead. Sudden att*ck of jungle fever.

So you can take kalani a-and leave the island.

Is trick!

You speak truth.

Gilligan now hunting on island in sky.

He save kalani.

That make him master of matoba girl.

We give him matoba funeral.

B-b-but you can't bury him,

You just can't! I mean--

Ugundi: we not bury him.

That's good.

We burn.

Make fire!

Both: burn?!

Think it'll work?

It had better. Is ginger ready?

Uh-huh.

Here they come.

Ugundi: make fire.

Wait!

We, too, have a tribal custom

For saying farewell to our warriors.

We must hold sacred dance.

Sit. Sit.

[Playing slow tempo]

[Faster tempo]

How long before gilligan revives?

About minutes.

I hope ginger has a lot of veils.

[Faster tempo]

[Speaking native language]

Enough dance.

Wait!

No more wait.

[Sniffing] barbecue. Mmm.

What's going on here?

You're having a barbecue, and you didn't invite me!

Because I'm the barbecue!

Ow! Ooh! Ooh! Ow!

Hot! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Whoa!

Gilligan great fire god!

Kalani speak truth.

[All speaking native language]

Gilligan is great fire god!

Go, or he will put curse on all of you!

Yell at them or something.

[Yelling]

All right, gilligan, you can stop

The fake screaming now, they're gone!

Who's faking, who's faking?!

[All laughing]

Some fire god!

Gilligan, you did it again!

Here, mary ann.

Oh, thanks, gilligan, I'm exhausted!

You saved my life.

Oh, don't say that!

Master!

♪ Now this is a tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In their tropic island nest ♪

♪ No phone, no light ♪

♪ No motor cars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪
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