01x06 - The Yacht m*rder Case

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Once upon a time...

... in a mythical place
called Cape Kennedy...

...an astronaut named Tony Nelson
went up on a space mission.

The missile went up...

...but something went wrong,
and they had to bring it down.

Captain Nelson landed on
an island in the South Pacific...

... where he found a bottle.

At least it looked like a bottle.

But it didn't act like a bottle.

Because in it was a genie.

Oh, not your average
everyday genie...

...but a beautiful genie...

... who could grant any wish.

Captain Nelson was so grateful,
he set Jeannie free...

... only she didn't want to be free.
You know how it is...

... when you've been cooped up
in a bottle for years.

She wanted to have fun...

...and she wanted to have it
with Captain Nelson.

So she followed him back
to Cocoa Beach...

...a mythical town
in a mythical state called Florida.

And there in this house...

... the girl in the bottle
plays Spin the Astronaut.

-Good morning, master.
-Good morning, Jeannie. You hungry?

-Yes.
-Help yourself to anything you'd like.

l'm not on a menu.

Try the sausage, huh?

Wait a minute. We got an emergency
meeting call this morning.

Oh, boy, l'm going to be late.
Excuse me.

Thou art always away slaving.

Say, tell you what. Tonight, when it's
really good and dark...

...why don't l take you for a long drive
on the beach. How about that?

That sounds wonderful.

What shall l do all day?

Well, you'll think of something.
Goodbye, Jeannie. l'll see you tonight.

Jeannie....

Jeannie, stop that.

Because of the very nature
of this mission...

...we're not going to force anyone
to accept this assignment.

We're asking for a volunteer.

Carson?

Davenport?

What about you, Captain Healey?

Colonel, l'd gladly serve above
and beyond the call of duty...

...but this is even beyond
above and beyond.

Gentlemen, l don't mind telling
you l am bitterly disappointed.

Surely there must be one among you
willing to undertake this assignment.

Sir, l don't understand
what this is all about...

-...but l'd like to--
-Thank you, Captain Nelson.

Report immediately
to General Fletcher's office.

Fred, what's this--? Fred?

Guided tour?
You must be joking, general.

l understood this
to be an important mission.

P.J. Ferguson is the president of the
largest aerospace firm in the country.

He has served as
a technical consultant to NATO.

And Senator Kane of the Armed
Forces Appropriations Committee...

...is his closest friend.

-Are you reading me, captain?
-Loud and clear, sir.

Mr. Ferguson and his family
are cruising on their yacht.

They stopped by here just for today.

And he specifically suggested
a bright, young astronaut for the tour.

You are a bright, young astronaut,
are you not, captain?

l always thought l was, sir,
until l volunteered for this assignment.

The Fergusons are here, general.

l don't intend to--

Go back on my word, sir.

-l'll be glad to conduct the tour.
-Good man.

-P.J.
-Bill.

-This is Captain Tony Nelson.
-Captain.

-How do you do, sir?
-Mr. Ferguson and Miss Ferguson.

Captain Nelson. l never thought
we'd get you. lt's a privilege.

No, it's my privilege,
and an unexpected pleasure.

Been looking forward
to this tour, captain.

Wanted to see how our latest
component parts are working out.

l'd be happy
to show you around, sir.

Not too technical, Father.

Remember,
this is still a pleasure trip.

Boy, l feel guilty. l could have tipped
poor Tony off when he came in.

lt's not your fault
he wanted to be a hero.

But it's a lousy assignment
he got hung up with.

-Miss Ferguson.
-Watch it, guys.

This is a group
of the walking wounded.

Shock, you know.

This young man has real
engineering savvy, Bill.

Made some interesting
suggestions.

Don't get any ideas, P.J.,
we intend to keep him.

l'd like you and your staff on board
the Nina tonight for cocktails.

-We're sailing in the morning.
-Thank you. l'll pass out the word.

You will be there, won't you, Tony?

l'm sorry, Nina.
l've made other plans.

Nothing that can't be changed,
l'm sure.

Well, l did promise
someone else, sir, and--

You wouldn't put pleasure
before duty, would you, captain?

Especially since this duty
is such a pleasure.

Yes, sir. l'll be there.

She'll understand.

But you don't understand.

Wait a minute, wait a minute!
You don't understand!

Oh, l understand.

You promised to take me
to the beach...

...but instead, you'd rather
go out on someone's yacht.

l was ordered to. lt's business.

Then l will go with you.
l am very good at business.

Oh, no, you won't.

-And who is to stop me?
-l am.

Oh, come on, now.
Now, stop that, will you?

Look, l don't have any time
to fool around. l'm late as it is.

Jeannie, come on out of there.
Come--

All right, stay in there.

Jeannie, l'd like to talk to you
about tonight.

Now, come on.

Come closer.

Sorry about this, Jeannie...

...but your old master has a little
modern magic up his sleeve.

Now, you're gonna stay at home
tonight, like a good girl.

-Tony!
-Hi.

-Sorry.
-Captain Roger Healey, this is Nina.

Wow. lf you're the Nina...

...l'd love to see what the Pinta
and the Santa Maria look like.

And that, Captain Healey,
calls for champagne. Follow me.

To the ends of the earth.

-Oh, l'm sorry.
-Sorry? You're sorry...?

Captain Roger Healey,
U.S. Army.

Of course, you know that
if you read the newspapers.

What's it like orbiting the Earth
at , miles an hour?

Exhilarating.
The freedom of weightlessness...

...the colour of the sunrise
and the sunsets....

Please go on. You were
just getting to the exciting part.

Good evening, Dr. Bellows.
We were talking a little shop.

Sometimes you get
carried away and....

Yes. There's more than one way...

...of getting carried away, captain.

Look, why don't we go inside
and talk.

You think that we-- l saw her first.

Captain Roger Healey...

...Commander Jeffrey Slade,
my husband.

Nice meeting you, commander.
Guess you saw her first.

Nice talking--
Nice talking to you two.

Well, honey, how are you getting
along with young Nelson?

l want him.

That's my girl,
straight and to the point.

l'll say one thing for Tony...

...he's miles above those spineless
fortune hunters l've had to chase off.

lf we only had more time together....

You leave it to your old dad.

Thank you, darling.

-Thank you.
-Well, captain, you having fun?

Yes, sir, Mr. Ferguson.
Great party.

Well, l'm glad
you're enjoying yourself.

Tony, have you ever thought...

...of what you're going to be doing
years from today?

Probably flying
economy tours to Mars.

Well, l'm going to be frank with you.

l need a capable, young man
like you in my firm.

Someone who can
take over for me one day.

Well, l'm very flattered, sir.

Being an astronaut, l--

Well, to be frank...

...l've made the service and
the space program my life's work.

With Ferguson Aerospace, you'd still
be a very important part of it.

Does it make sense?

l don't know, sir. Frankly,
l don't think l'd be capable of it.

We're sailing for Nassau
in the morning. Come with us.

You'll have a lot of time to think it over
and we can become better acquainted.

Well, l'd certainly like to, but l'm doing
some very important research, and--

-Well, l'm afraid it'd be impossible.
-Nothing's impossible.

-You leave it to me.
-There you are, darling.

Will you excuse us, Daddy.

Oh, Bill.

Bill, l need a favour of you.

-Anything l can do, P.J., just ask.
-l'm sailing in the morning....

Hello, Mrs. Flaherty.
l forgot you were coming.

lt's Thursday.

Yeah, it is.

You having an orgy?

A group of my friends dropped in.

l'm gonna be leaving town
for a few days.

Would you mind
tidying up a little bit?

Sure.

Don't use the vacuum cleaner.

There's something wrong with it,
a short, l think.

Jeannie, listen, l'm gonna have
to leave town for a few days...

...on a secret mission.

Look, l'll make all this up to you
when l get back.

l'm sorry l can't take you.

Goodbye.

You promised to take
the vacuum cleaner with you?

No, of course not. lt's a big yacht,
they'll have their own.

Goodbye, Mrs. Flaherty.

l'll see you next week.

Goodbye.

You gotta be touched
to be one of those astronauts.

Must be the thin air.

Poor dears.

Well, no wonder the vacuum
cleaner wouldn't work.

lt has a handkerchief stuck in it.

Won't he be pleased when l fix it.

l think l stumbled on a secret w*apon!

Now, isn't this much better...

...than being cooped up
in some silly little capsule?

lt's not a little capsule.
lt's a rather large capsule.

-And it's not silly.
-l'm sorry.

That's all right.

Right. Right. Up.
Right, right, right. Up, up.

Oh, yeah.

Why anyone would ever want
to be an astronaut...

...in the first place, darling,
l'll never know.

l guess l always want
to be above everything.

That's another thing l like about you,
your sense of humour.

Excuse me, Miss Ferguson.

Your father requests
you join him in the salon.

Thank you, Albert.
Tell him l'll be right there.

Yes, ma'am.

-l suppose l'd better get dressed then.
-No, you stay here...

...and l'll see you later
for cocktails.

Till later.

Oh!

A secret mission, huh?

She did not leave many secrets.

Jeannie. Listen, what--?
What are you doing here?

l told you to wait in your vacuum.

-You tricked me!
-l had to.

-l told you, this is business.
-Business seems to be very good.

You gotta get out of here
and go back home.

But you will get into trouble
if l leave you, master. You need me.

Well, l need you like l need
a hole in my space helmet.

You want to get rid of me so you can
be alone with that long-legged one.

l do not want to get rid of you.
lt's just that-- Well, l've had enough.

All l want is to make you happy.

All you're doing
is make me miserable.

lt's getting so l can't draw
an easy breath...

...wondering when
you're gonna pop up.

Now, l'm not kidding.
l'm desperate.

As you wish. Bon voyage.

Thanks.

-Goodbye.
-Where is she?

She's gone.

Man overboard!

Tony, we've searched the entire ship.
She's not aboard.

And there was no trace of her
in the water.

-Of course, with all the sharks--
-There was no girl.

-But we saw her.
-No.

We heard the whole argument...

...up to the point
when you pushed her overboard.

-You think l pushed her overboard?
-Pushed who overboard?

-Nobody.
-Tony, l deal in facts.

The fact is you managed to smuggle
a girlfriend aboard--

She was not my girlfriend.

-Who?
-Nobody!

Then you told her to go home
and wait for you.

Tony, we're only trying to help you.

l swear, there was no girl
on board that ship.

-And l'm telling the truth.
-You are?

Then you'd better start
thinking up some lies...

...because there isn't a jury
in the world that wouldn't hang you.

Well, it's bigger than a capsule.

Smaller than a breadbox.

-Roger, l need your help.
-l'd do anything in the world for you.

-l believe in you.
-Thanks, Roge.

-Why'd you k*ll her?
-l didn't k*ll her...

-...and you'll help me prove it.
-What do you want me to do?

l want you to go to my house.

-Want me to bring back something?
-No, just go to my house.

-What for?
-l want you to talk to it.

-Go to your house and talk to it?
-Yes, yes.

A house is like-- Like a living thing.

Over the years,
it develops vibrations.

You know, like a dog.

-Your house is like a dog?
-Yeah.

Haven't you ever noticed how people
and their dogs look alike?

Well, the same with houses.

Yeah, l've noticed that.
Yeah, l've noticed that.

l want you to go in the living room
and talk to the walls.

ls there anything in particular
you want me to say to them?

-Say, ''Tony's in trouble.''
-Tony's in trouble.

-''Tony needs you.''
-Tony needs you.

-''Tony's very fond of you.''
-Tony's very fond of you.

-'' But you're hurting him deeply.''
-You're hurting him deeply.

'' lf you realized you were hurting him,
you wouldn't be doing it.''

lf you realized you were hurting him,
you wouldn't be doing it.

-That's it.
-Any particular wall you're close to?

Yeah, yeah.
Try the wall nearest the fireplace.

The wall near the fireplace.
Nice warm wall, that's good.

And have a word with my vacuum
cleaner too. lt's in the hall closet.

l wouldn't leave without saying hello
to your vacuum cleaner.

Thanks. Thanks, Roge.
l'm depending on you.

Promise me you'll do this.
lt means life or death.

-l know it sounds far out, but--
-Far out?

l'll be glad to do it. Guard!

l'm depending on you.
Here. Here are the keys.

Yeah, that's right. Keys.
Gotta have the keys.

-l'll do it.
-Thanks, buddy.

Hello.

Hi, l'm Roger Healey.
Tony sent me.

He wanted me to tell you that he was
in trouble, and that he needs you.

And he's very fond of you, and....

That you're hurting him deeply.

lf you knew what you were doing
to that poor guy...

...you wouldn't be doing it.

You should be a--
You should be ashamed of yourself.

l mean,
what's he ever done to you?

l wouldn't ask this for myself...

...but just for Tony's sake,
have a heart, huh?

Be a pal, just this once.

-Captain Healey.
-Yes, sir?

-What were you doing?
-l was talking to the wall, sir.

-May l ask why?
-Yes, sir. Tony asked me to.

l know this sounds wild, sir,
but you see...

...houses get to be your friends,
like dogs.

And Tony wanted the walls
to know he was in trouble.

He wanted the walls to know
he was in trouble.

This wall is
a particular friend of his.

l think you'd better get back
to the base, captain.

l'll take over. There's more here
than meets the eye.

-Could l have a couple more minutes?
-What for?

Tony asked me to have a talk
with his vacuum cleaner.

l'll talk to it. You run along.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. lt's in the closet.

They're all cracking up.

Good morning.

Good morning. l'm Dr. Bellows.

l'm a friend of Captain Nelson's.

l wish l knew what your secret was.

Well, whatever it is,
we don't need any more evidence.

Captain Nelson is where he can't
get into any more trouble.

What is a Nassau?

Don't go away.
Stay right where you are.

First you tell me to leave you
and never come back.

And then you say, ''Jeannie,
stay where you are. Don't go away.''

-Well, what is it you really want of me?
-l want you to stay right where you are.

lf l stay,
will you make me a promise?

Anything. Anything you want.

You will not put me in
the vacuum cleaner again.

Well, of course not.
That was a terrible thing to do.

And that woman with the bad legs,
you will not see her again?

She didn't have bad le--

l'll never see her again.

And you will take me
to the beach tonight?

Yes, Jeannie,
anywhere you want to go.

You are wonderful.

l will stay.

General.

Mr. Ferguson.

-Look who's here.
-l phoned Dr. Bellows. He'll be right--

-Who is that?
-That's the girl on the yacht.

Just call me Jeannie.

Yes, just call her Jeannie.

You sure you won't be
needing these things?

No. lf l never see a yacht again,
it'll be too soon.

That's a shame.
The party on the yacht we chartered...

...will be a real gas.
Sure you won't change your mind?

-Give my best to the g*ng.
-You'll be sorry.

l'm gonna spend a nice,
quiet weekend with a bottle.

After what you've been through,
l don't blame you. See you, Tony.

-l am ready.
-All right, Jeannie...

...where do you want to go?

Where we will not be
interrupted.