01x07 - Anybody Here Seen Jeannie?

[bunniefuu]

Once upon a time...

... in a mythical place
called Cape Kennedy...

...an astronaut named Tony Nelson
went up on a space mission.

The missile went up...

...but something went wrong,
and they had to bring it down.

Captain Nelson landed on
an island in the South Pacific...

... where he found a bottle.

At least, it looked like a bottle.
But it didn't act like a bottle.

Because in it was a genie.

Oh, not your average
everyday genie...

...but a beautiful genie...

... who could grant any wish.

Captain Nelson was so grateful,
he set Jeannie free.

Only she didn't want to be free.
You know how it is...

... when you've been cooped up
in a bottle for years.

She wanted to have fun...

...and she wanted to have it
with Captain Nelson.

So she followed him back
to Cocoa Beach...

...a mythical town
in a mythical state called Florida.

And there, in this house...

... the girl in the bottle
plays Spin the Astronaut.

A meeting is expected
to be called at Geneva next month.

Turning to the domestic front.

At Cape Kennedy, America's
three-man astronaut team...

... is preparing to tak e an historic walk
into outer space.

The team consists of Captain
Tony Nelson, Captain Roger Healey...

...and Lieutenant George Conway.

It's probable that Captain Nelson,
as head of the team...

... will be the first American
to step into outer space.

I'll have local news--

-Hello, Nelson here.
-Captain Nelson, Dr. Bellows here.

Hello, Dr. Bellows.

l've just been going over some
of your reports. How are you feeling?

Fine, sir.
lsn't that what the reports say?

Oh, the reports look fine.

But in my opinion,
you've been a bit jumpy lately.

Me, sir? Not at all.

l sleep soundly, appetite's good.
l could eat a horse.

Hey, what are you doing--?
Shoo! Shoo!

Did you say ''shoo''?

l'm sorry, l wasn't--
l wasn't speaking to you, sir.

Jeannie. Jeannie, would you--?
Would you get this horse out of here?

Captain. Captain.

Captain, do you have a horse
in your living room?

Of course not. Why would l have
a horse in my living room?

l don't know,
but we'll find out this afternoon.

l want you to report here
at : for some tests.

Yeah, but--

-Would you get this out of here?
-But you said you could eat a horse.

That's merely an expression.
Now, come on, take him away.

Thanks.

-Anything you desire.
-Just don't get carried away.

You have not seen
anything yet, master.

These are the best plover eggs
l've ever tasted.

And of course, they're the only
plover eggs l've ever tasted.

Have some more sausage, master.

Well, l don't know, Jeannie.
l don't think l better.

-Steak?
-Well....

Veal? Kidney? Pork chops?

Jeannie, this is more
than l've ever had for breakfast.

Wait until you see the lunch
l have planned for you, master.

That's Roge and George.
Do you mind...?

Thanks.

Hi, Roge, George.
Let me have your hat.

l've got my charts upstairs. We better
go and take another look at them.

Good. Look,
you guys start without me.

l'm going to grab
a cup of coffee.

When you step out of that spaceship,
remember, easy does it.

You push yourself away too hard,
and you'll never stop spinning.

Our two tricky moments come when
we open the hatch to let you out...

...and then when we close it again
on your re-entry.

l'll start the decompression
when the air lock...

...is pressurized to air space.
l open the door, and out you go.

Watch out for that first step, Tony.
lt's really a honey.

Listen, Roger, l think it's important
that you take a look at this too.

There's only one thing
that worries me.

When l step out into space,
Roge will pilot the ship.

Hey, you know, it might be a good idea
if we checked that tether again.

Well, l can't do it right now.
l have something else to do.

More important than checking
your space umbilical cord?

-Well, l'll get to it. l'll get to it.
-Well, anything you say.

Guess we better be running along.

-You are not going.
-Listen here, young lady...

...you've got to stop playing
around like that.

l'm not going where?

Walking around in space.
Not without me.

-lt is perfectly safe.
-Except that your tether might break...

...and you might go spinning off
into nothing.

What is a tether?

A tether, it's-- Well, it's like a rope.

lt keeps me attached
to the space capsule.

Jeannie, l became an astronaut
because that's what l want to do.

-Believe me, l know what l'm doing.
-Well, l will not have thee in danger.

Well, young lady, l'm afraid you
don't have much say about that.

-l have to get going.
-Where are you going?

l'm going to take a few routine tests.

And if you do not pass these tests?

Well, somebody will be taking
my place in that capsule.

But don't worry, l'll pass them.

Thou art a stubborn
and foolish man.

Jeannie, there's absolutely nothing
to worry about.

l--

Jeannie, thanks a lot.
You be a good girl...

...and l'll come home early, we'll have
a nice game of chess, huh?

-Hello.
-Captain Nelson.

Sir, there's really no need for me
to take anymore of these tests.

lf l hadn't passed
all the tests l've taken...

...l wouldn't be taking this flight
on Monday, would l?

Captain, l'm going to be
very honest with you. You baffle me.

l admit that, so far,
you've checked out percent...

...but there's something.

Some little something
that l'm not quite satisfied with.

You don't know what that
would be, do you, captain?

-No, of course not.
-Never mind. l'll find it.

Exactly what are you
looking for, sir?

Well, l really don't know,
a horse in your living room?

Something that you can see
that l can't.

Voices that only you can hear.

Doesn't add up to the picture
of an ideal astronaut, does it?

You said l checked out
percent, sir.

Well, we're going
to check you out again.

We just may find a physical clue
to the problem.

-That is, if there is a problem.
-Yes, if there is a problem.

-You can change behind that screen.
-Yes, sir.

Now we're going to start you off...

...at three and a half miles an hour.

l could do this all day.

When do we reach the summit?

Will you step down, please?

Something seems to be wrong
with my instrument panel. l'll--

l'll check your heart
with my stethoscope.

ls everything all right?

-ls anything the matter?
-Nothing.

-You have a funny look on your face.
-Have l?

-How do you feel?
-Fine, fine.

Excuse me.

Let's try
the pulmonary function tester.

Now, let me just
check this out.

Fine. You try it please.

There's a fresh mouthpiece.

Now, just breathe normally.

-Well, how did l do, sir?
-Let me check your heart again.

First, l'll make sure
this is working properly.

What's next?

Follow me, please. Excuse me.

-This is a space arm mobility tester.
-l've never seen one of these gadgets.

lt's a test of coordination
under pressure.

Just slip your arm
through the glove.

l want to see how many
of the small dials you can turn.

-What's the matter?
-l don't know, sir. lt tickles, that's all.

-Captain.
-Yes, sir.

Just please turn the dials.

Yes, yes. l'm sorry. l'm very sorry.

lt's very ticklish.

Well, take your arm
out of the glove.

-All right.
-Come over here please.

Jeannie?

-What did you say?
-Nothing, sir.

l had a feeling we weren't alone.

You can be quite sure
we are alone, captain.

Can l? Oh, of course. Of course.

-Would you get into these, please?
-Yes, sir.

-Get on the ergometer, please?
-Yes, sir.

l want you to start slowly, and then
gradually increase the speed.

The pedals are weighted.
You won't be able to go very fast.

Ready? Go.

-l haven't done this since l was a kid.
-Save your breath, Captain Nelson.

Jeannie! Jeannie, stop!

-Captain Nelson, you're going too fast!
-You're telling me!

-Stop it!
-l can't!

That's incredible.

Do you realize what a strain
that is on the heart?

-Yes, sir, l do.
-Stand up, please.

That'll be all, captain.

Will you get dressed, please?

Am l through?

l would say so.

l mean, am l all right?

The results are beyond
my wildest expectations.

Sir, you're going to let me go up
in that capsule on Monday, aren't you?

Captain, you don't need a capsule.

All right, where are you?

Jeannie?

l know you're here someplace.

All right, now, come on out.

Very funny.

All right, young lady, come on out.

l enjoyed playing
those children's games.

Did you? Well, you know
what you've done to me?

-You might have washed me out.
-That means you will not be allowed...

...to go walking around in space.

l'll be lucky if l'm allowed
to walk around in public.

-How could you have done this to me?
-l did it for you.

l must protect you from danger.

You've protected me
right out of my life's work.

All right,
if you like this coat so much...

...keep it.

Captain Nelson, this is Dr. Bellows.
l have to see you immediately.

l want you to be in my office
in five minutes, if not sooner.

That's an order.

Come in.

Here's your dinner, Dr. Bellows.

Thanks, Walter. l can use it.

l feel a little woozy.

Well, this will fix you up, doctor.

Fine.

Enjoy it.

Thanks, Walter.

Walter!

-You called me, Dr. Bellows?
-There's something wrong...

...with the sandwich. Every time
l take a bite, it's whole again. Look.

Would you like a doctor, doctor?

Of course not.
l've just been overworking.

Maybe you better go home now, sir.

Yes.

That might be a good idea, Walter.

Yes. Thank you very much.

-Good night, Walter.
-Good night, sir.

l'm too young to go.

l'm dead.

-Here l am, sir.
-What are you doing here?

You phoned me
and told me to rush right over.

l did not. Or did l?
l really don't know.

-You don't know if you phoned me?
-Well, of course l did.

l'm a sick man.
l think my heart just stopped.

-Your heart just stopped?
-l'll rush right over...

...to the base hospital
and turn myself in for observation.

-What about my fitness report, sir?
-Captain, in my condition...

...who am l to presume
to judge anyone?

All right, Jeannie.

l think you're back
in the space program.

l think so too. And thanks.
But no more tricks.

-Oh, no, master.
-All right, let's go home.

-You're taking me back?
-Temporarily.

-But no more shenanigans either.
-Oh, no. l promise.

All right. My car is--

My car is out front.

Say, would you mind?

You know, you know....

Thanks.

Stop. Come on, come on.
Cut it out, will you! Come on!

Now, come on, stop that!

What are people gonna say?

-You have a perfect trajectory, Tony.
-Glad to hear it.

-We're on auxiliary temp.
-Everything is green here.

Tony, are you ready to hit the deck?

As ready as l'll ever be.

Decompression switch on.

l'm opening the hatch.

Hatch is open. l'm stepping out.
l'm heading for the wild blue yonder.

Check your tether line.

Tether clear. Easy does it, Tony.

Tony's out of the ship.

All systems normal.

l've left the ship. l'm floating.

Any reaction?

Are you kidding? It feels great.

Good evening, master.

Did thou see the beautiful star
over there?

Star light, star bright
First star I see tonight

Wish I may, wish I might
Wish this wish comes true tonight

Very funny.