07x01 - Divorce Dominican Style

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Amanda?

What are you doing?

Driver says the hotel's
still an hour away.

And as beaches go, this one's...

it's not very romantic.

(distorted): You look beautiful.

(laughs)

Get real; I'm a mess.

No makeup, sunburnt.

♪♪

Hello? I'm, uh,
beginning to feel

a little left out.

I'm-I'm sorry. I was worried

that this place might
bring back memories.

But it didn't.

Good. Now, can we
get back in the taxi

and get to the hotel while
the sun is still shining?

Sure. Nothing left for me here.

(knocking)

JENNIFER: Coming!

Oh, I was hoping you were Billy.

Amanda left town...
she flew down

to the Dominican
Republic to get a divorce.

Billy found out that Sam's
been having an affair.

And she thinks that I'm
the father of Taylor's baby.

And now he's down on
the whole human race,

which unfortunately includes me.

But thanks to your brother, I
know that I am not the father,

but that has not kept Taylor

from telling everybody
else that I am.

And now he's giving
me the silent treatment.

(birds chirping outside)

(sighs)

Have you heard a
word that I just said?

What?

Ugh!

Oh. Sorry.

Look, Taylor...

Taylor is this close to
confessing everything she knows

about Christine's
death, I can feel it.

And Amanda is
about to drop McBride

from the end of her name
if you don't get your butt

down to the Dominican Republic.

There is a -hour
waiting period.

And since the truth
is, the only thing

that's gonna stop Amanda
from getting a divorce,

you and I are gonna spend
this time baiting Taylor.

Look, I know that you
haven't been listening to me,

but I'm having my own
problems right now, Kyle.

It'll be easy, okay?

All you got to do is let it
slip that I told you that I want

to marry her, but I am concerned
that she is hiding something.

As long as I have these
concerns about Christine's death,

she's not walking down
the aisle anytime soon.

Maybe you should
forget about your plan

and save your marriage.

I can't do that,

not until I prove to Amanda

that Christine's
su1c1de wasn't her fault.

You are playing a
dangerous game, Kyle.

(Kyle sighs)

Please?

- Please?
- Okay, I will help! (groans)

Thank you.

♪ Going to take a journey ♪

♪ As far as I can see ♪

♪ Pack my things into ♪

♪ A bag And leave round three ♪

♪ Bid farewell ♪

♪ To my friends ♪

♪ Say I'll be home soon ♪

♪ They won't ♪

♪ See the lies ♪

♪ Nor will they see the truth ♪

♪ That I'm going to escape ♪

♪ Gonna ride from place ♪

♪ To place ♪

♪ Where the sunshine light ♪

♪ It burns my eyes ♪

♪ Nothing left of me ♪

♪ No trace ♪

(fading out): ♪ Find
a place to stay... ♪

(gasps)

Oh, my God, what
happened to you?

Aw, it's just a
contused ligament.

I... fell down a mountain.

Fortunately, Michael was there

- to save me.
- Michael?

'Course, he's the one who caused
the accident in the first place.

It's not atypical when
you're dealing with Mancini.

It's my fault.
Peter, he tricked me

into telling him where you were.

Let's just forget it, though.

It all worked out for the best.

Can I come in?

Yeah. It's your place, too.

You know, it sure feels good

- to be home.
- Here.

Oh, thanks.

I felt bad about the way I left.

I-I was out of line about
the whole Coop thing.

I've been under a lot of
pressure, you know, and...

- I know.
- (clears throat)

But I had a bit of a
catharsis while I was away,

not that I couldn't use
another month away in Bishop,

but I'm feeling better.

Well, I'm glad, and...

I accept your apology.

Peter, I missed you.

I missed you so much.

Oh...

(birds chirping)

Mm-hmm. All right, I got to go.

Uh, Thursday at
: a.m. All right.

Don't you dare stand me up.

What was that all
about, that look?

Do you think I'm
talking to Jeff?

Were you?

No. I swear, I haven't talked
to him since the hospital.

And I won't talk to him again.

- Right.
- I was talking to Amanda's painter.

She's having her
apartment painted

while she's out of town, and
she asked me to take care of it.

Why are we talking about this

when we should be talking
about everything else?

I have so much
that I need to say.

I couldn't give a damn about
what you need right now, okay?

'Cause I don't trust you.

I don't even like you very much

right now, so save it
for someone who cares.

(sighs)

Uh, uh, hey, you two, I'm back.

The "M" in there
seems a little crooked.

Yeah, how appropriate.
Tell me something,

does-does Peter know
anything about this?

Oh, it was his idea.

You see, I saved his life

while we were vacationing
up in the mountains.

(laughs): You and Peter
went on a vacation together?

Well... kind of.

Of course, you can
imagine how grateful he was,

and partner-less, since your
boyfriend here deserted him.

Oh, and I'm sorry to hear
you crapped out in Philly, Coop.

- Hey!
- MEGAN: No!

You're right. You know what?

I'm not gonna let him get to me.

I'm just gonna get him.

Uh, Michael, can I
talk to you for a moment

- in my office?
- Oh,

actually, that's, uh...

that's my office now.

What did you say?

You heard me. And,
uh, I'd appreciate you

getting all your
junk out of there.

She's not moving anything
until I talk to Peter first.

Be my guest.
Talk till you're blue.

So, um, what am I
supposed to do for an office?

Well,

um, since your position
as office manager's

being terminated due
to budgetary reasons,

you won't need one.

Um, but I guess you
could still stick around,

go back to being a receptionist?

- Never.
- Never's a very long time.

I could put in a good word
with my best friend Peter.

You know what,
Michael? You can clean out

- your own damn office; I quit.
- Megan...

I don't know what kind of game
you're playing here, Mancini,

but we're not partners and
we're never gonna be partners,

I don't care what
that door says.

(door closes)

MAN: That's a beautiful ring.

May I?

(laughs): Oh! Of course.

Wow. Five karats?

Yes, it's, um, severance
pay from my third husband.

"Marry rich, marry
often." That's my motto.

I guess you weren't
bored while I was gone.

Oh, I love it! Mm!

You're jealous.

That's a good
foundation for a marriage.

Who said I was jealous?

Uh, Mr. Blake,
there's a call for you.

You could take it
on the house phone.

Oh, good. Thanks.

Uh, I've been
expecting this call.

It's business. Can you do
without me for a few minutes?

Longer than that.
I'll be at the pool.

Eddie, hey!

Tell me the good news.

Now, wait a second,
wait a second, no.

First you tell me
there's no downside,

now you tell me I got to
come up with another grand

or lose everything?!

Well, I tell you
there's a hitch!

No, I need time, and
now there is no time!

No. No way.

Oh, well, the
hell with you, too!

(click)

Hey. Borrowed this
from Mario last night.

Thought I should
get it back to him.

Thanks.

Yeah. Hey, you know,

I couldn't help but notice how
happy Kyle has been these days.

Thanks again. (laughs)

Yeah. I guess
congratulations are in order.

Well, he told me about
the blessed event.

Heck, I thought you were just
doing a lot of comfort eating.

He told you about our baby?

Yeah. What's the big deal?

Like you could hide it! (laughs)

Oh, yeah. (laughing)

Then again, if I were

carrying a man's baby

and he wasn't about to
make an honest woman

- out of me, I would probably...
- Kyle didn't say that.

Well, not in so many words.

Actually, he said he was
ready to propose, but...

- But what?
- Well...

he's got this, uh...

I don't know...

a lingering suspicion

that you're still holding
something back about Christine,

how she d*ed.

I'm not!

That would be a first.

But... it is none
of my business.

Well, what else did Kyle say?

Uh, nothing. He just thinks that

you're hiding something,
and that's a problem for him.

Look, Taylor, if I were
you, I would spill my guts,

and if there's nothing to
spill, I'd make something up.

But that's just me. (chuckles)

You know me...
All I want out of life

is to be married to a great guy.

(laughs): And not Kyle, honest.

Well, don't worry, I never
considered you a thr*at.

Huh. Okay, I better
get back to work.

I really enjoyed
our little girl talk.

Me, too.

I'm gonna take a shower.

Yeah, I'm gonna open up
another bottle of champagne,

try to get even drunker.

You know, I don't need
you dragging me down,

so you better snap
out of your mood,

or I'll find some other
playboy to marry.

Don't let me stop you, honey.

(shower running)

(dial tone)

Hey, it's me.

Yeah, remember
that little hitch?

I've found a way around it.

Yeah.

Yeah, you'll have the
money by the end of the week.

We'll be in touch.

I'm sorry, baby.

Pre-wedding jitters.

Let me show you
how I really feel.

Sorry I'm late.

Traffic was a bear.

I didn't hit any on my way home.

Oh, that's just ludicrous.

I can't even get
stuck in traffic

without you being
suspicious of me now?

You got some mail.

Thanks.

Go ahead, open it;
I'm anxious to see

what your lover has
to say for himself.

Who says this is from Jeff?

It looks like junk mail to me.

You don't want to open it?

I'll open it, okay?

"Dear Sam..."

Oh, he doesn't have
a pet name for you,

but you have one for him.

"You won't take my calls,

"you won't see me.

"I had no choice.

"I don't want to
make more waves,

but I care about you too much."

What, you cheated on me

with someone who
only cares about you?

In my book, that
makes you a tramp.

Ugh, this is sick.

Now you just stay right here,

and I'm gonna
read this right now.

"What I feel for you,
I've never felt before.

"It's like you're a part of me.

"The best part.

"I love you so much.

"You said you loved me, too.

"And that you'd
never felt this way

"with Billy.

You worship and love..."

How could you do this to me?

I loved you.

How could you do this?

Huh?

How could you...

This is sick!

(quietly) I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

MICHAEL: You'd have to
be insane to come clean.

TAYLOR: But
Jennifer said that I...

She's my sister, and I love her,

but she doesn't know
what she's talking about.

Truth doesn't bring happiness.

- Well, how would you know?
- Because I'm a guy.

And even though Kyle's
making all the right noises

about taking responsibility
for this baby, trust me,

- he's only fishing for an out.
- Michael, no offense,

but you're not exactly
a credit to your gender.

You know what?

You're right; I'm wrong.

I'm gone.

Oh, and, uh,

when you're crying
in your linguini,

remember what I said.

Your truth just set him free.

P.A. ANNOUNCER:
Dr. Williams, .

- (knocking)
- Yeah?

Hi.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Your assistant said
you're between patients,

so I, um...

I just wanted to thank
you for the use of the cabin,

and let you know that's exactly
what I needed... a few days away.

- I'm glad.
- Yeah.

No, no, I tell you,
I-I... I feel great.

I mean, I...

You know, I got a new
girlfriend, a great girl.

I got a great job.

Got a great new condo.

I dunno, things
are... things are great.

Peter,

when a patient
overuses the word "great"

to describe their
life, alarms go off.

Well, I'm not a patient.

And I don't think you're here

just to say thanks.

Okay, maybe...

Maybe things aren't that great,

but they're not so bad.

When a patient says...

All right, all right.

Why does everybody
get what they want? Huh?

Answer me that.

Lexy gets an apology from me,

Michael gets his job back,

the same with Coop,
and what do I get?

The big, fat zippo;
that's for me.

And I just happen to hear

that my ex-wife is
down in the Caribbean

frolicking around
with her new boy toy.

Now, what is wrong
with this picture?

Well, I've got a free hour.

Why don't you tell me?

Start the clock.

Can we see this ring here?

CLERK: Sure.

Come on, humor
me and slip it on.

I am not ready for a ring yet.

We had an understanding.

I mean, come on,
let's get real here.

Yeah, let's.

Amanda.

Listen, if you've changed your
mind, just tell me, you know?

'Cause I-I'm getting hooked;
I'm falling under your spell.

Every night that I spend with
you makes me want you more.

I want to know that I'm not the
only one having these feelings,

that it's somewhat reciprocal.

Insecurity isn't a
quality I value in a man.

I'll get the car.

(mellow jazz playing)

Can I get you anything?

Yeah, you can get
me another drink.

Okay.

I'll admit it.

Occasionally, I need
a little reassurance.

I didn't mean to be rude.

No, rude's okay.

Just don't pull the
plug on our feelings.

What I said the other night

about holding onto each
other and never letting go?

Billy, I...

I love you.

It's a hollow word.

(sighs)

Your wife cheats on
you, and I get the fallout.

Billy, I'm not Sam.

What, because
you tell the truth?

We don't have any secrets?

Okay, you want me to
lay it all out on the table?

I will.

But I want you to know that

the only reason I kept
quiet was to spare you.

No, I knew it for months.

That Sam was doing
the dirty deed with Jeff.

Months?

You want details, ask your wife.

No, I'm asking you.

The night of the Gala
Committee Awards.

I was your date because
Sam was in San Diego

hitting home runs with that guy.

- She said she had a business date.
- Yeah, well,

she said a lot of things
that weren't true, Billy.

Where are you going?

Sam had a dinner
meeting tonight.

I'm gonna make
sure it went okay.

(groans)

I don't want my fortune told.

If I wanted a line laid
on me about the future,

I'd call an number
back in the states.

Or I'd talk to you.

Come on, it'll
be fun, you'll see.

Buenos noches, señora.

My friend would
like her fortune told.

Sientese, por favor.

Pick ten.

I see you have
been hurt by love.

More than once.

Haven't we all?

Yes.

But love has never
worked for you.

The cards tell me
it will never work.

Love is not enough
for a woman like you.

What you need is a lifelong
friend and companion.

He accepts you.

Wants only what is best for you.

When you feel yourself
resisting the attentions of another,

you will know this man is near.

And...

a word of caution:

Don't back out of
previous agreements.

Well, thank you.

It's been amusing.

Pay the woman, Rory.

By the way, how much did
he offer you to shill for him?

No hablo Ingles.

Me, neither.

Oh.

I am not mad.

In fact, I kind of liked it.

You went the extra mile
to get what you want.

See, now that's why
I love you, Amanda.

You're always one step ahead.

(indistinct talking)

What am I doing here?

(sighs)

(car starts)

VALET: Okay, man,
I'll get the next one.

SAMANTHA: Oh, yeah, this is me.

Hey.

Jeff.

JEFF: Oh, that's a big one.

How the hell did
you know I'd be here?

I wrangled it out of
some temp at your agency

that you were having
dinner around the block.

That doesn't matter.

What matters is
is that I love you.

I'm not gonna stop
loving you ever.

Taylor.

Hey, I was just closing up.

I'm glad.

I mean, that you're still here.

(groans)

What a night, hm?

Yeah.

Mm.

You know, it could be
the best night of our lives

if you make love to me.

Mm...

(sultry laugh) Let me see...

What's wrong?

Look, it's not you.

I'm sorry. I don't...

I don't mean to
send mixed signals,

but I'm not ready
to take the next step.

When we were in Boston,

we were the perfect
married couple.

We had the perfect marriage.

I mean, I loved you so much
because we shared everything.

And that's what I want again.

I want you to be
honest with me, Taylor.

Come on, tell me
what you're thinking.

What are you feeling?

Well, you know what I'm
thinking and what I'm feeling.

You're hiding something from
me, and I don't know what it is,

or why you feel like
you can't trust me,

but your secrets are
pushing me away.

But I do trust you.

Tell me, before it's too late.

But there's nothing to tell,
and that's the honest truth.

Damn it, Taylor, I
got a right to know.

You know what?

Now I'm sorry, because
my whole life I've lied,

and I've gotten
really good at it.

But now, when I'm telling you
the truth, you don't believe me.

You know what?
I-I don't blame you.

Because I-I don't
deserve you, Kyle.

But my babe...

Our baby does.

And that's all the
truth that matters.

I'm gonna go. Good night, Kyle.

(glass breaking)

COOP: Look, all I'm saying
is, is you don't have to jump at

the first opportunity
that comes along.

Take some time, figure out
what you really want to do.

And if you want to stay at
home and raise our family,

I'm fine with that, too.

(Megan clears her throat)

Jennifer got me a
job at the jazz club.

What do you think?

- MEGAN: Mm.
- COOP: Hmm.

I, uh...

I think we should
have discussed it first.

Look, I-I'm not sure I
want you, you know,

hustling tips and-and
fighting off drunks.

Oh, come on! It's just upstairs.

We're not talking about
some biker bar or something.

Besides, I'm comfortable there.

You don't look happy.

But you know what? I
won't be happy, either,

if I'm financially
dependent on you.

Why?

I just won't, even though
I'm crazy in love with you.

Please... go with
me on this, all right?

(both laugh)

All right?

- Oh.
- Mmm.

- You know how to twist my arm.
- Mm-hmm.

But that's only 'cause I'm
crazy in love with you, too.

- Crazy?
- I'm crazy.

- MEGAN: Mmm.
- COOP: Mmm.

MEGAN: Mmm.

(Megan sighs)

Hey, Kyle.

How is Operation Taylor going?

Came up empty.

Oh, no. What are
you gonna do now?

I am gonna dump her.

If I know Taylor,
she'll do anything

to hang on to this relationship,

even if it means
telling the truth.

Wish I could be
a fly on the wall.

Hi.

No, don't-don't...
don't say anything.

Just listen to me.

Ah.

I can't do this anymore.

God knows I've tried,
but I can't get past the lies

and the deception.

So even though my feelings

are strong for you,
baby, I'm moving on.

TAYLOR: Kyle, I
don't understand.

Where is this all coming from?

You know, do you ever
wonder if it's worth it?

I mean, all the misery
that you caused by lying?

If you knew what
I've gone through

and how much I love you...

What have you gone through?

Taylor, what are
you hiding from me?

What are you so
afraid to tell me?

I'm ashamed.

You have to promise that
you won't hate me if I tell you.

Okay. So there is something?

TAYLOR: Kind of.

Okay, I couldn't stand
to see you with Amanda.

I couldn't!

And when she started
nosing around about Christine,

well, I started nosing
around, too, and...

I tricked you into telling
me where Nick was,

and I went to see him.

And... Oh, God!

I jumped into the sack with him.

But it wasn't sexual.

I was just pumping him for
information, and if I had known

that Christine had d*ed
in the w*r, then that's all...

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wait. Wait a minute.

Christine d*ed a
couple of months ago.

No.

She d*ed seven years ago.

The woman that you
thought was Christine

was actually Nick's girlfriend,
who was an ex-showgirl,

who'd actually been
in a bad car accident,

and she had authentic scars.

I have to admit,

she was almost a dead
ringer for the real thing.

Then I had to promise Nick
half my interest in the jazz club

for him to bring the
bogus Christine to L.A.

(laughs)

(laughing): No. I
don't believe this.

Why are you lying to me?

Kyle, I couldn't come up
with a lie this complicated.

It was a great plan.

It was, but then,

the fake Christine fell in
love with you, and-and...

well, Nick got pissed, and
then they got into this fight,

and she fell and hit
her head and d*ed.

That's when he
came up with the idea

of taking her to the
train tracks, and...

well, you know the rest.

Keep going. Keep going.

Well...

then I sent a letter over
to your honeymoon suite

to Amanda pretending
that I was Christine.

Threatening to commit su1c1de?

And then you two showed
up at the train tracks

just in time to see the
body pancaked by the train.

Then Nick tried
to k*ll me, which

really isn't that important.

Oh, God! Oh!

I feel so much better.

How do you feel?

Kyle?

Sweetie?

Sweetie?

You are evil, and
you make me sick.

No, my confession meant
to bring us closer together!

Why? 'Cause you're
having my baby?

Even that's a lie!

- No!
- I've known the whole time, Taylor.

That's not my baby.

It's the best news I ever got.

Kyle, please, I'll do anything
to make it up to you. Please!

Not in this lifetime.

Kyle, no!

Kyle, please don't go!
I'm nothing without you!

You're nothing, period.

And some day, even that
kid of yours is gonna know it.

(footsteps retreating)

(door closing)

(sobbing)

(knocking on door)

(knocking continues)

Yeah, hold on.

Hi! I would have called
first, but I was afraid

you would hide behind
your answering machine.

I thought you were my neighbor.

She promised to take in
my mail while I'm gone.

Wait. Where are you going?

I got a pal in Arizona

who owns a chain
of sports stores.

He offered me a job.

And you took it?

What about Sam?

Lost cause.

Besides, I'm
tired of all the B.S.

Yeah, well, me, too, but you
don't see me folding my tent

and moving back to New Jersey.

Look, Sam's staying
with Billy, okay?

I mean, she didn't
come right out and say it,

but the way she
kissed me last night,

definitely over,
so, to hell with it.

Uh, Jeff, I haven't been
totally honest with you.

Well, that's okay.
I hardly know you.

(sighs)

(Jennifer laughs)

Billy and I have been
sleeping together.

Did you hear what I said?
Billy's been unfaithful!

That's all the
amm*nit*on you need.

Sam is yours!

Not interested.

All you have to do is tell her.

- She will never forgive Billy.
- You tell her.

I can't tell her. If I
tell her, I lose Billy,

but if you do it,
then we'll both be...

Look...

Good-bye, Jennifer.

Look, I know you love
Sam, so fight for her, damn it!

That's what love is all about...

Getting in the ring
with Mike Tyson

and coming out with
all your limbs intact.

(door creaking shut)

(sighs)

(smooth jazz playing)

(crowd chatter)

Uh, miss, I'd like another...

Ah, you must be new here.

I'd like another drink now, hmm?

I'll... I'll be right with you.

Yeah, but I want it now,
and-and if I don't get it, well, then...

well, you're a lousy waitress,
and you can forget your tip.

Hey, everybody, don't
tip this lady, okay?

MAN: What?

'Cause lousy wives
make lousy waitresses.

MAN: Uh-oh.

Michael, sit down
and lower your voice.

No! No. And make
that a double, hmm?

Oh, wait. You know what?

I think you've had enough.

I'm gonna call you a cab.

Hey, hey, hey,
waitresses are supposed

to take orders,
not give 'em, okay?

You know what? I-I don't
know why I bother to care.

Oh, maybe because I'm
back on top again, huh?

Just like Dr. Larner was?

(laughs) On top of you?

Oh.

That was you?

You told that pompous
degenerate that I was an ex-hooker?

For the record, I-I
was gunning for Coop.

Oh, and that's supposed
to make a difference?

You know, Larner's a sex addict.

He would jump
anything in a skirt.

He almost r*ped me, Michael.

And at the moment,

I don't see any
difference between that

and what you did to
Coop and me. I hate you.

Oh, come on. Hate me, love me.

Make up your mind,
honey, please...

- You know what?
- Hey! Hey!

You have humiliated
me for the last time.

I am getting off
your roller coaster,

and if it wasn't going to
give me so much pleasure

to hold this over you, I
would tell Coop right now.

- Now, later, big deal!
- You better believe it is.

You know how Coop feels
about you, what he's capable of.

He finds out you blew
his dream, he'll k*ll you.

But before he kills
you, he'll convince Peter

to boot you out of the practice

and the hospital, and
you'll end up looking

for a clinic again on
the wrong side of town.

Are we clear?

LEXI (gasping): Oh, Peter!

You're so unbelievable!

Oh, God.

Nobody makes me
feel the way you do.

Mm! I love you so much.

Mm...

Ah.

(Peter sighs)

Mm...

(panting)

Mm...

(phone ringing)

Hello?

Amanda, it's me. Don't hang up.

What do I have to do to
make you leave me alone?

Look, I'm on my way down there.

I just want you to sit tight

until you and I can straighten
this thing out face to face.

Don't waste your
money on a plane ticket.

I love you.

We're gonna be
together, you'll see.

And don't call me again. Ever.

(click, dial tone)

I can use more champagne.

Sure.

Who was that on the phone?

No one important.

How about a toast?

To quickie divorces
and "quickier" marriages.

- Look, Amanda...
- Shh.

Let's not spoil the
evening with more talk.

- Okay?
- No.

No, it's not okay;
I have to say this.

Well, I'll marry you.

(chuckles) What
more do you want?

Look, Amanda, I don't
believe in happy endings

any more than you do.

Good.

Amanda.

- Hmm?
- Look.

Look, I've been
dating since I was .

I never spent more
than a couple of days

without a girlfriend
or a warm body.

Now I'm the envy
of all my buddies,

but it just... it really
took a lot out of me.

You know, I'm just
tired of the chase.

Down on romance.

Look, I know you don't love me.

It would just complicate
things, anyway.

You and I can give
each other what we need.

And what do you think I need?

Keep the big, bad wolf
away from your door.

Kyle's not the type
to give up easy.

Hell, he's even
calling you down here.

What you need is a
friend you can trust...

great sex.

Hmm, and what do you need?

Just the great sex.

Take off your clothes.

We got a deal.

(siren wailing)

PETER: Yes, I'm
attracted to Lexi, and, yes,

she's a very beautiful,
sexy, and desirable woman,

but she's not the one.

Maybe I can't love a
woman who loves me

or maybe I need to be
tormented to be happy.

I don't understand.

I mean, why
can't I just love her

the same way that she loves me?

This is the point
where you're supposed

to say something
incredibly insightful.

Sorry.

You think I'm warped, don't you?

Peter, is there another woman?

Are you seeing
someone on the side?

No, no.

No, my cheating days are over.

I see.

All right, well,
then, tell me this:

when you fantasize about
sex, is Lexi part of the fantasy?

Of course, you have a partner?

You mean other than myself?

(chuckles)

Oh.

(clears throat)

If you must know, um...

sometimes I fantasize
about my ex-wife.

Amanda?

I think about her all the time.

She's the only woman
that I ever put on a pedestal.

I...

(sighs) But I blew it with her.

It's over, but...

but I still love her.

My God, that's it.

That's my problem.

I'm still in love with Amanda.

RORY: No, no, I'm not
really looking for another hotel.

I'm looking

for a... like a private beach,

you know, something
off the beaten track.

I'm honeymooning
with my new bride.

Oh, now I understand
the need for privacy.

We have a number of
small islands off the coast.

The, uh, facilities

are crude, but the beaches
and settings are very romantic.

How does, uh, how does
one get to these islands?

I could arrange for a boat

along with a supply
of food from the hotel,

scuba diving gear,
whatever you like.

That sounds great.

Well, listen, um...

I don't want anybody to
know about this, okay?

No problem.

It's official... I'm
a free woman.

Congratulations.

Come on, I feel like
celebrating in the bar.

You'll take care of what
we talked about, right?

Yes, sir.

What was that all about?

It's a surprise.

MICHAEL: Can't you see?

It says Burns, Mancini, Cooper.

- That's "M" before the "C."
- Oh...

oh, and that gives you the right
to spend my hard-earned cash?

Your cash?!

Correction: it's our cash, okay?

Peter's, mine, yours,

- everybody's.
- Yeah, since when, since when?

Since you weaseled your
way back into this practice,

- that's since when.
- You know,

- I'm only gonna say this once, Coop.
- What's that?

- Don't use the weasel word.
- You weasel.

- Weasel, weasel.
- Hey, come here, come here.

Hey, hey, hey,
what's going on here?

All right, you want
to go again, huh?

Michael, Coop, stop it!

I mean it, stop it!

What are you, insane?!

This is a medical
office, not a boxing ring!

You're right. You know
what? I should have

run him over in the parking lot!

Oh, and this is the guy

- that's supposed to replace me?
- Michael,

shut up.

Coop, explain.

My partner... And I use
the term reluctantly...

Ordered a $ , vector
cardiograph machine

for the office, which
we do not need.

I don't agree with that opinion.

That's because
you're getting kickbacks

from the suppliers, right?

You are trying to sabotage

my position here!
I'll tell you what,

I'm here in perpetuity!

- Michael!
- What?!

Don't you think
Coop has a point?

Maybe you should take
a few weeks, if you must,

to settle into this
new arrangement

before, uh, you start ordering
new things for the office?

All right, all right.

(Michael sighs)

I'm sorry.

Friends?

Oh, I'll think about it.

Oh, my God.

(Megan sighs)

(stammering): How
did you do that?

Uh, Michael and I have
a, an understanding.

It's, uh... wordless
but effective.

You, uh, are you
ready for lunch?

- Starved.
- All right, good.

(sighs) Billy's going to come
through that gate any second.

You got to go, I
don't want a scene.

Until you hear me out.

I can't.

It's about Billy.

Well, well, well, my wife
and her lover are at it again.

SAMANTHA: I didn't invite him.

He just showed up
and now he's leaving.

Look, I'll go.

Just so you know,

your self-righteous husband

and good friend Jennifer Mancini

are having their own
affair behind your back.

Come on, no.

I'm not lying to
you, Sam, I swear.

Is it true?

Oh, you are such a hypocrite.

The bedroom is down the hall.

Pack my things.

I'll be back in a minute.

Don't even think about
going into my bedroom.

Oh, what, are you gonna stop me?

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna stop you.

(glass breaking)

(Samantha sighs)

Sam.

You bitch.

You pushed me into an affair
so you could steal my husband.

Oh, thank God it's
all out in the open.

I am so relieved.

I'll give you relieved, slut.

(both grunting)

- What the hell is that?
- It's Sam.

(Jeff grunts)

You're hurting her.

- Get off.
- Hurting her? I'd like to k*ll her.

No kidding.

BILLY: You want
somebody to blame?

Blame me, blame
yourself, blame us.

We're the ones that
blew the marriage, right?

She's the innocent one.

She has the wool
pulled so over your eyes,

along with other
parts of your anatomy.

I resent that totally.

BILLY: Me, too. Come on,

- let's get out of here.
- Gladly.

I'm sorry about all this.

Listen, I'll finish
getting you packed.

Let's get you moved
into my place, okay?

I'm not moving anywhere.

I just... I need to be alone.

(panting)

WOMAN: Happiness comes
from a commitment to value oneself.

That is the lesson to
be learned from side one.

Repeat after me:
I am invincible.

(phone ringing)

Michael. I am invincible.

TAYLOR: Michael?

Have you been drinking?

What? Oh, no, no.

I was just... eh, never mind.

What's wrong now, Taylor?

I've lost Kyle forever.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, you're not.

No, really. I mean, uh,

I want the best for
you and your baby.

Uh, for very unselfish reasons.

So, next time you ask
for my advice, take it.

There won't be a next time.

I've called to say
good-bye, Michael.

Good-bye? Where are you going?

Far, far away.

Thanks for being my
only friend, Michael.

(beep)

Taylor?

Taylor, are you there?

- Tay...
- (beep)

REVEREND: Do you,
Amanda, take this man

to be your lawfully
wedded husband,

to love, honor, and cherish him,

so long as you both shall live?

I do.

Do you, Rory,

take this woman to be
your lawfully wedded wife,

to love, honor, and cherish her,

so long as you both shall live?

I do.

Then by the power
vested in me by God

and the republic,

I hereby pronounce
you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Amanda!

♪♪

(engine starts)

♪♪