07x12 - The Rumor Whisperer

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Melrose Place". Aired: July 8, 1992 –; May 24, 1999.*
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Follows the lives and loves of eight young adults in an apartment complex in Los Angeles.
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07x12 - The Rumor Whisperer

Post by bunniefuu »

(sighs) Is Michael here?

Michael.

Uh, no, Michael's not here.

- He hasn't been here in ages.
- Well,

there's nowhere else he
could be. I've called everywhere.

You know what?
Let me just be direct.

Are you two having an affair?

No, of course we're
not having an affair.

I-I would have to be
brain-dead to make that,

that mistake twice.

I mean, I'm not saying
you're brain-dead.

You know what I mean.

God, look at me
bursting in like this.

I'm getting as bad as he is.

Under the influence
of a Mancini,

I completely understand.

I am sorry for disturbing you.

Yeah.

Oh, hello, you must be Eve.

Yes, hi, you, you must be Megan.

I memorized all the
names on the mailboxes.

Actually, my name's Jane
Mancini and I'm just visiting,

although I used to live here.

Just a little bit of advice...

You might want to stay
on your toes around here.

I can count the
survivors on one hand.

It was nice meeting you.

- Hi, Peter.
- Hey, Jane.

Eve, hi.

Hi.

You know, I-I had
spoken to Amanda,

an-and she mentioned, uh...

Number seven.

Oh, good, so you
took her up on her offer.

Oh, yeah, I love it.

Kyle found me some furniture,

and they gave me the
first month's rent free.

Oh, great.

Would you like some sushi?

I, I can't get
enough of this stuff.

Oh, no, no, I've
eaten, I've eaten.

So, you know, the other night
after you finished singing...

I really appreciated
your compliment.

It meant a lot to me.

Oh.

I was gonna call you.

But I didn't have a number.

(chuckling): So how could you?

Right.

You want to do
something sometime?

Tomorrow night?

Like what, a date?

Well, yeah, like a date.

Well, I'd love to.

Well, good, then.

Enjoy your sushi.

Seven, right?

EVE: Yeah, seven, see you then.

- Yeah.
- Okay, see you then.

- (Peter sighs)
- RYAN: What's so fascinating

outside that window
that you haven't heard

a word I've said in
the last five minutes?

I mean, it's the
same view, isn't it?

Are you kidding?

This view is always changing.

It's a parade of human drama.

Here, come here, I'll
show you what I mean.

(Ryan sighs)

Ah, cement, pool,
mmm, bougainvillea.

No, the window across the way.

She vacuums in her underwear.

RYAN: Oh.

This is kind of
twisted, isn't it?

- (phone rings) -Hey, if
they don't close their blinds,

what's a landlord to do?

- Hello.
- EVE (over phone): Amanda,

you will never guess
who just asked me out.

That hunky Dr. Burns.

Well, I accepted, of
course, but now I'm, like,

I-I'm just totally losing it.

Laundry room as soon as you can.

You know what?

I do all my investing
through my broker,

but thanks.

You know what I just remembered?

I have laundry to check on.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

(both sigh)

I snuck away early.

Oh, well, unfortunately
we have company.

Hey, bro.

And I have laundry to
check on. Be right back.

- (stammers)
- RYAN: Aw, flowers for me.

You know, you
really shouldn't have.

I didn't.

(door opens)

EVE: So I'm having some sushi

- by the pool.
- I saw the whole thing

from my window,
and just so you know,

Peter has had his eye on
you since day one in the club.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Because I thought
a guy this handsome

could not be unattached.

Oh, wait, are you going
to tell me that he is?

No, divorced... from me,

actually.

What?

(Amanda laughs)

Oh, my God, that is so weird.

Of all the men in L.A...

Wait, of course,
what am I saying?

Of course the same man
is going to find us attractive.

Isn't that the way
it's always been?

Yeah, but not always
with the greatest results.

I wasn't talking about that.

Anyway, you're going
to help me, right?

- Yes.
- I mean, the right clothes and makeup.

Everything else I've forgotten.

Everything, anything
you want, I promise.

- Oh.
- (sighs)

(door closes)

(sighs)

I have been looking
all over town for you.

Oh, um, I just had a lot
of work to finish up here.

Michael, would you just admit
that you've been avoiding me?

You know, I am going crazy here.

I actually thought that you
were having an affair with Megan.

Jane, th-that's ridiculous...

No, you are ridiculous, Michael.

What will starving me
for sex accomplish?

Who says that's what I'm doing?

Please, I know your libido
like the back of my hand.

Jane, look.

No, you look.

Michael, either you've got
a problem you need to admit

or you better rise
to the occasion

because I can't wait any longer.

(both moan)

Jane.

Jane, I'm going to hate
myself in the morning.

Oh.

You will be too damn tired.

Shut up.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ He won't hesitate ♪

♪ He's not that kind of man. ♪

MICHAEL: Peter.

Peter, I had sex with
Jane, I lost all control.

Well, Michael, you are formerly
married, engaged, and in love.

Or is this some Catholic thing?

No, you don't understand.

The plan... Starving
Jane for sex.

See Jane not have
sex, see Jane get horny,

- see Jane sleep with Alex.
- Michael, Mi... look, hold it.

I told you before
that I am not a big fan

of this "test Jane" plan.

It's borderline obsessional,
not to mention sociopathic.

Oh, the same psycho cocktail

you mixed up for
Amanda if you recall.

Michael, do you know
what the real issue is here?

You don't think that you
deserve someone as independent,

forgiving, and as
secure as Jane.

My solution... Forget
the test, Michael.

Marry the girl and marry
her as fast as you can

before you blow
this thing all to hell.

Oh, look at you.

You know I'm right, I can
see it in your beady little eyes.

LEXI: I miss sex.

Oh, sounds like
something a guy would say.

Whoever said we were different
or have to be different, huh?

I just need that fix

and not a relationship
and not any particular guy.

- You know what I'm gonna do?
- Hmm?

I'm gonna treat myself to
a one-night stand tonight.

- Hmm.
- Yeah, I'm gonna pick a bar,

pick a stranger.

- You ought to come with.
- Oh, no.

No, not me.

Uh, no more strange
men, no more strange bars.

Ready for this?

- Hey.
- I got a fax this morning.

I have been nominated for Biz
Line's
Woman of the Year award.

You're kidding.

Congratulations.

Totally came out of the blue.

I had no idea I was
even being considered.

Do Women of the Year
nominees drink at lunch?

Because I got a bottle
of my finest right here.

cr*ck that bad boy open.

- What's up, bro?
- We're here to celebrate.

Only one glass for me.

I'm having drinks tonight
with the editor-in-chief

of Biz Line magazine
at the Stage Bar, no less.

LEXI: Woman of the Year?

(laughs) Oh, I'm sorry,

I, I couldn't help but overhear.

You mean eavesdrop.

You know, Lexi, if you leave,

we'll have two
reasons to celebrate.

Pig.

Cheers.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Look, I want to
say that I'm sorry

about the way I
acted the other night.

I was a little
shocked, you know,

when you told me
about your past,

- but it doesn't matter.
- You know what?

This is... this goes
deeper than a sordid past.

I, I'm just trying to
create a future for myself,

and it's something
that I have to do alone.

Excuse me.

(door opens)

Oh, sorry, sorry.

- Good, I'm glad you're home.
- I thought you were having drinks

- with that editor guy tonight.
- No, that's later.

I'm helping Eve get ready
for her big date with Peter.

- (knocking)
- Oh, get that, would you?

- Yes.
- Thank you.

Sorry.

(laughs)

Yeah.

There's a note on Eve's
door to pick her up here.

One second, I'll be right there.

Come on in.

Come on.

So you want a drink?

So where are you
two off to tonight?

We're going to the Philharmonic
and then dinner afterwards.

And exactly what are
your intentions with Eve?

What time would you like
me to bring her home, Dad?

Oh, I guess : .

- : .
- : .

- Fine.
- Good.

- (door opens)
- MICHAEL: Jane, Jane.

JANE: Hey, Michael,
we're in here.


- Let's start working on the veil.
- Yeah.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi, we're working on the wedding dress.

Yeah... ah, no
fair peeking either.

Yeah, well, it doesn't matter
'cause she won't need the dress.

- Listen, Jane.
- What?

Yeah, we're going to Vegas.

I got reservations
on the : p.m. flight.

We're eloping, and I'm not
going to take no for an answer.

Now, you were right.

I was behaving like
a complete imbecile,

so enough of the game-playing.

Let's just get it over with.

Michael, no, we can't do that.

We've got invitations, we
have the church picked out,

- we have...
- ALEX: Excuse me.

Michael, why don't you just
admit your real problem here?

You don't trust Jane.

You think she's
going to sleep with me

again the night
before this wedding,

hence the sneak att*ck.

Hence the punch in the nose.

Huh?

Oh, my... Michael! Not again!

- How could you?
- It's okay, I'm fine.

How could I? You
hear what he said?

- The truth is what I said!
- And this whole elopement idea

is more of your
fear and paranoia.

You know what? Give me those.

- (paper tearing)
- This is what I think

of your wedding plans, Michael.

MICHAEL: Then you can tear up

your wedding
invitation, too, Jane.

Because in case
you haven't noticed,

every time a line is
drawn in the sand,

you're on his side of it.

- Oh, my...
- (door opens)

- I am sorry. Are you okay?
- It's fine, yeah, yeah.

- Oh! It's fine.
- (door closes)

♪♪

♪ Love and lust... ♪

You'd best have
a five-star speech

ready for the award ceremony.

AMANDA: I am
already working on it.

I want to thank you
for this nomination.

It's a wonderful honor.

And while you're in L.A., is
there anything I can do for you?

You don't have
any single friends

as gorgeous as you, do you?

(laughs) Please, you stand
here alone for five seconds,

and you'll have all the
beautiful women you need.

Anyway, um, I have to go home
to my husband, so good night.

- And thank you.
- Yeah. Amanda.

Hello, Drew.

Lexi Sterling.

Yeah, it's been a long time.

I heard you married a doctor.

Honey, I'm done with doctors.

You staying at the Regency?

You always stay at the Regency.

All through the awards ceremony.

I'll see you there, I hope.

Every woman executive
in L.A. is gonna be there.

Buy me dinner?

S-Sure. Where do you want to go?

How about your hotel suite?

I hear the Regency has
wonderful room service.

And, uh, if we're lucky,

maybe we'll even
get around to eating it.

I have a very good
feeling about this.

Could be my first hole
in one with a suit on.

- Oh!
- Oh!

You are so good!

Where did you
learn to putt like that?

Well, on a bigger
course with grass.

Hey, you're not mad

about the concert
tonight, are you?

Oh, no, no,

I... no, I didn't
really want to see

the Philharmonic
tonight, anyway.

Good. Because I just
wanted to be outside.

You know, this place
is so cool, isn't it?

The noise, the
lights... It's just so alive.

Aw, come on, tell
me you're having

- just a little bit of fun.
- Oh, yeah.

You kidding? I'm having
a great time. I mean,

I haven't been to a place
like this since high school.

(laughs) Me, neither.

(gasps) Oh, my
God, look! Come here!

Oh, God!

Excuse me. Two
with the works, please.

I've been craving one of these.

- Just one?
- Yeah, one.

- Okay, then just ketchup, mustard.
- You got it.

- Great.
- Keep the change.

- (laughs): Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah.
- Oh, this is heaven.

Well, from the
looks of things, uh...

it might be the first
one you ever had.

Hello? Where'd you go?

Where I never want to go again.

- Have one bite?
- No, I don't...

- Just one.
- I don't like...

Just a little bite,
little bite. So good.

One. One bite.

- Mm.
- There.

- That was good, wasn't it?
- Mm-hmm. (speaks indistinctly)

(laughs)

It's time for the arcade.
Come on. (giggles)

LEXI: Hey, you still breathing?

(laughs): I don't
want to k*ll you.

(Drew panting)

Drew, tell me something.

How set in stone is this
Woman of the Year award, hm?

It's pretty much decided.

Mm. Yeah, but, I mean,
couldn't you, as editor in chief,

with all your power and
charisma, change things?

What would you have in mind?

Oh, I don't know.

Mm, someone
maybe you overlooked.

Somebody with
all the right assets.

Someone who at the moment
you're extremely grateful to.

(Drew laughs)

Uh, look, the... boat's
already sailed, Lexi.

Um... but you're off to a
hell of a start for next year.

Mm.

Amanda won, didn't she?

Not even a contest.

(quiet, wry laugh)

Hey, where are you going?

Don't worry, honey,
I'll use the back door.

We all know how tongues
wag in this town, huh?

♪♪

- Busted.
- Oh!

What are you doing?

- You waiting up for Peter and Eve?
- I am just

a little curious, that's all.

What, there's some newlywed
rule that I can't have any friends?

No, I never said that. You
know, you just never seemed

to need anybody before, you
know, when Peter's involved.

Oh, well, if you want
to know, this is about

- getting rid of Peter.
- Oh.

I tried it with
Lexi; it didn't work.

With Eve, I don't know, seems
to be some kind of chemistry.

EVE: You must have spent

at least bucks
on the softball throw.

Well, it's money well spent.

I had a good time tonight.

What am I saying? I
had a great time tonight.

- Oh, me, too.
- It's just so nice

to kind of get away, you
know, and... get away.

Um, we really
didn't go anywhere.

Well...

I did.

(muffled grunts)

- Easy.
- (gasps) Oh, God, oh, God,

I'm so sorry. I did it again.

- No. No, you didn't.
- I did it. I did it again!

- No, it's fine. It's okay.
- Is it okay?

- Yeah.
- Really?

Let's get this... there you go

There you go.

Good night, Eve.

(groans)

Nice work, matchmaker.

(door closes)

(birds chirping)

I was on my way to work,

and I had to know what
happened last night.

(door closes)

I swear, Amanda,
it was... (sighs)

it was like a dream.

I mean, we... we went to
this miniature golf course,

and we played all the games
and we laughed and we talked

and... I mean, you said
that he was closed off,

and he was at first, right?

But then, oh, he opened up.

And then it was...
it was perfect.

It was just perfect!

Right up until the
very last minute,

when I kissed him.

And, I mean, I didn't
just kiss him, right?

I-I att*cked him. I-I threw
him up against the wall

like some kind of sex maniac.

And then it went all
downhill from there.

Didn't I tell you
to take it slowly?

Just one step at a time?

Yes, I know, I
know, it's just that I...

I lost it, I guess.

You know how
long it's been for me,

and he was so... relaxed

- and he was so happy and...
- You know what?

Maybe you should
just forget about it.

No, no, no. I just got
flustered, that's all.

I didn't think through what
I was gonna say to him.

I just... I need him to know

what my real
feelings are, that's all.

I'll just think it out,
and-and then I'll...

That's it! That's exactly
what I'm gonna do.

- I'll write it down in a letter.
- Eve, Eve, it could backfire.

No. I-I need him to know this.

Amanda, look, it's
a second chance,

that's all I'm asking for.

(sighs)

- (passing horn honking)
- (groans)

Oh, oh, no!

Where am I? Whose place is this?

MEGAN: Mine, idiot.

I'm surprised you're awake.

After all you drank,

I thought you'd at
least sleep till noon.

Now I remember, now I remember.

I... was too angry at Jane,
I didn't want to go home,

so I ended up here
ranting and raving.

- And you passed out.
- Oh, I got to get to work!

Now, listen, last night
you were a lunatic,

and you would not listen to me,

but in the sober
light of dawn...

No, I'm not going back there.

You have to. You've
got to stop all this testing

and manipulating Jane...
It's what I hated most

about you when we were married.

I thought it was my
lying and cheating.

Oh, you have to
apologize, beg for mercy.

It is your only hope.

- (groans)
- Now, listen to me.

Here. Drink this.

If you need to shower, fine,

and just lock up
when you leave, okay?

- Megan?
- Mm?

I'm so pathetic, huh?

Oh, unfortunately, it's
when you're your cutest.

(groans)

(sighs)

Oh, geez, I got to go.

(low groan)

(footsteps approaching)

Stop.

Michael! Stop right there.

Stupid! I knew it.

I knew you were
having an affair.

Jane, I slept on
the couch, okay?

I didn't want to
go home last night.

- God, Michael, you look terrible.
- I know,

and you look like
a vision, as usual,

which doesn't help me any.

Oh. Lipstick. Wonderful.

Honey, it was a
peck on the cheek.

Do you honestly think
so close to our wedding

I'm gonna sleep with Megan?

Well, you think I'm
gonna sleep with Alex.

How's his nose, by the way?

Oh, quit changing the subject.

You know what, Michael?
Last night I got no sleep.

I put our life on rewind
and I watched the show.

Mm. That must have been
good for a couple of laughs.

Tears, Michael, and quit joking.

You know what our
relationship is built on?

Lies, omissions and deceit.

I love you, okay? And that love,
it makes me nuts, you know?

And I lie to protect
it, to hold on to you,

because you know why?

Because I don't deserve you.

You're too good for me.

- Oh, please.
- Look, um...

Jane...

I have been testing you.

I've been pushing you
to see if you'd crumble.

I know it's wacky.

Wacky? It's insane.

Well, will you give me
just one more chance?

One more chance, okay?

(sighs)

All right.

But now I'm testing you.

The wedding's in three weeks,

which gives you
exactly three weeks

to stop acting like a child
and start acting like an adult.

Absolutely, no problem.

I'm moving back here;
you'll stay at the beach house.

You'll court, we'll date,

and we'll piece the
wedding back together.

But, Michael, I'm serious,

one slip, one lie,

one anything, and it's over.

You know I've never
tested very well.

Michael, it's pass or fail.

It's up to you.

Okay, I'll do it.

Look at you.

You haven't shaven.
You're a wrinkled mess.

But you're still as cute
as I've ever seen you.

Well, what can I say,

I'm always cuter
when I'm pathetic.

MAN: and two, three,

four, five,

six, seven, eight,
and one, two...

three, four...

five, six...

seven, eight.

Step, step, step.

Step, step, step.

Step, step, step.
Good job, y'all.

(cheering and whooping)

- Hey, morning, ladies.
- Hey.

Anybody buy a dress
for the Biz Line awards?

Why that thing can't be a
luncheon I'll never know.

You know Mackenzie.

He's into that whole
public relations thing.

Yeah, but does he pay his female
executives as much as his men?

- Not a chance.
- LEXI: Why should he be any different?

Huh? And like
it's a real contest.

I've already heard... Amanda
Woodward... she's a shoe-in.

I wouldn't be surprised.
Lady's a comer.

Please. Her agency
is in the dumps.

And I also heard
from the same person

who told me that she won...

- she slept with Drew to get it.
- WOMAN: No.

- You're kidding.
- It's from a very good source.

Was this affair before
or after she got married?

With as many time as she's
been married last year, who knows?

Remember, didn't
hear it from me.

(crickets chirping)

(sighs)

Are you going for a swim, too?

If you want, I'll get out.

No, no, you go ahead. I'll
just wait in my apartment.

Ah, listen to us.

Like the pool's not
big enough for two us.

What is it, degrees out here?

Still?

(Ryan sighs)

Oh.

Did you, uh, hear the rumor?

What rumor?

About Amanda. I
heard it today at lunch.

That she slept with
that Drew Mackenzie guy

to win the Businesswoman
of the Year Award.

- Oh, please.
- No, I'm not saying it's true.

I'm just saying,
everyone's talking about it,

and I thought maybe I
should say something to her.

Or you could. You
are her employee.

I'm not saying
anything. You kidding?

Every time I try to help out,

they accuse me of
snitching, butting in.

I'm not going near that one.

Hmm.

(Ryan clears his throat)

What?

Oh, I was just thinking,
if a rumor like that

were ever started about us,

I don't think I'd do
anything to stop it.

I think this weather
is very dangerous.

MICHAEL: Oh, the people

who own this building are cheap.

Why do they have to turn
off the AC at : p.m.?

You can always
go home and watch.

No, no, no, I can't. I told you.

I'm in forced exile here.

Promised Jane I'd trust
her and give her some room.

But you, huh?

Huh. How come you're not home?

Well, there's this
new girl. Name's Eve.

Oh, didn't work out, huh?

Didn't think it would.

Oh, Michael, the
kid's wearing blinders.

You know, she doesn't
see the complications

of being with someone like me.

I mean, we're talking
dangerously close to Pollyanna

- territory here.
- Oh, yeah?

What did you have, a
disaster date or something?

No, actually, the
date was... was great.

You know, but she
was in a... a big hurry,

and I kind of followed
along, and then, boom,

I realize, hey, what am
I doing here, you know?

I'm just, uh, doing the
same thing I pulled with Lexi.

You know, the same kind
of pattern, or you kind of...

You hop in there, and then
you wind up hopping right out.

Oh, you know, if you're
getting your oil changed...

Michael, please. This is
a beautiful young woman.

I mean, I-I just don't want
it to go too far so that...

Oh, I didn't even mention.

She wrote me a letter.

One date... I got a letter.

- Oh, man. Mm.
- No, wait, wait. Listen to this.

Um, uh, "Peter, I'm
sorry that I ruined things."

Uh, "I pushed you too quickly.

I-I guess I feel so
close to you already."

- MICHAEL: Oh! Whoa!
- PETER: Oh, oh. Oh, no, no, no, no.

PETER: "I knew
that it was something

"from the first
moment I saw you.

Is it love?"

MICHAEL: Oh, is this a
romance novel she wrote?

PETER: Wait, wait. "I
see you in my dreams,

and you're always
in my thoughts."


Oh, man, she watches
too many chick movies.

- Or-Or she lives in a cave.
- Yeah.

I mean, Michael, she's got
to find herself someone else.

I mean, she's just so...

Eve.

I-I...

Eve, please.

- I'm sor...
- Just stay away from me!

Eve?!

(door closes)

Well, Peter, that
solves that, huh?

Oh, shut up, Michael.

Ooh.

You seem a little distracted.

(Kyle mumbles)

If you really want to know,
it's this rumor that I heard.

What? The building?

Oh. Nice sh*t.

Ten rumors going on
there around the clock.

- This one's about Amanda.
- Wait.

Wait. Hold on. Time out.

What about Amanda?
What kind of rumor?

The two-part kind.

Good part is, they're
saying she won this

Businesswoman of the Year Award.

Right.

Bad part is, they're saying

that she slept with the
magazine's editor to get it.

Slept with the guy?

Yeah, right. What are
you...? You believe it?

Kyle, I know Amanda.

The problem is, the rest
of these boneheads don't.

I'm in.

What are you gonna do about it?

What I'm already doing.

I'm gonna ignore it.

Rumor can't hurt you
if you don't buy into it.

This just came in.

Designer original, perfect
for an awards dinner.

Huh. An Alex Bastian.
Wouldn't you know it.

Well, maybe you
can get us a discount.

Yeah, if Michael stops
b*ating the guy up.

Why don't you try it on?

I will. I'll be right back.

It's so weird that she's here.

WOMAN : Obviously she
doesn't know what we all know...

- That she's won.
- WOMAN: I can't believe

she's actually going to
the awards ceremony.

WOMAN : I know.
I can't believe it.

- WOMAN: Oh, my God.
- Excuse me.

Who are you talking about?

- Amanda Woodward, of course.
- And we know for a fact

that she's won the award and

how she's won it.

By sleeping with Drew Mackenzie.

- WOMAN : Oh.
- That's a lie.

She-She barely knows
Drew, and she's married.

AMANDA: I'm sorry.

- Are you talking about me?
- WOMAN: Would you

excuse us?

Oh, I'm going after them.

No, no, don't, don't.

No, I have to set
those women straight.

To say that I slept with that
guy and insinuate that I won.

- I'm just a nominee.
- It's a rumor.

- It's gossip. Just forget about it.
- No.

If they're talking about it now,

how long till everyone
else is talking about it?

I'll look like a
fool at the awards.

Worse if I win.

- What am I gonna do?
- (Jane sighs)

You know, this is your
last box, so I'll just, um,

give it to you, and
I'll be on my way,

'cause I don't want to
push things, you know...

Oh, look, do you
want to come in?

Well, if it's not a violation.

Michael.

Honey, you are taking
this way too seriously.

Relax. All right, we won't
get to enjoy this special time.

Now, there's wine in the fridge.

- Why don't you go pour us some?
- Mm-hmm.

- You want red, or you want white?
- (beep)

- (tape squealing)
- White.

Hi, Jane, it's Alex.

Just calling to see
if you want to go

to the award's dinner together.
Amanda was nice enough

to include me. Anyway,
uh, nose is much better.

Hardly any swelling. Take care.

Let me know. Bye.

It's funny, 'cause I was
just about to ask you,

but I guess the, uh,
early bird gets the girl?

Why would I want to go with
anyone other than my fiancé?

Now, I'm really...
I'm really terrible at

- this courtship thing.
- You're pretty weak in the

relationship area, as well.

But I am really,
really good in bed.

Oh, yeah?

Prove it.

(Jane laughs)

(sighs)

All work and no play

turns shoulders into knots.

I got lonely, so I
came looking for you.

I've been trying to write
an acceptance speech

for an award I hope I don't win.

Oh, that sounds difficult.

You know, um, Kyle,

there's something
you should know.

There's this rumor.

- (Amanda laughs) -Yeah, I
heard. You and Drew Mackenzie.

Ryan told me.

Oh, Ryan knows,
too, and Jane knows.

Hell, the whole world knows.

And you're wondering
if it's true, aren't you?

Do I look worried?

Come on, if I thought
something was gonna on,

I would have been here
a lot sooner. I trust you.

- You know that.
- But when you first heard it.

I ignored it, which is
what you should be doing.

No, no, I can't.

If I win and go
up on that stage,

I'll be the laughingstock
of the industry.

If you don't get up there,

they're gonna
laugh a lot louder.

Come on, hold your head up
high. Don't play into that petty crap.

Kyle, this is not the movies.
No matter what I do, I'm screwed.

♪ On the wings of fate ♪

♪ Rising above ♪

♪ High, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪

♪ Over the field

♪ Of love. ♪

(song ends, applause
and cheering)

EVE: Thank you.

We're gonna take a short
break, and we'll be right back.

Thank you. Thanks.

Thank you so much.
Thanks. Thank you...

Eve, look, look, you can't run
from me every time you see me.

Then it's a polite smile,
and nice to see you,

and a quick good night.

Oh, wait a minute.
Wait, look, look.

Last night... it was, um...

I was drinking. It
was... It was a guy thing.

It's not how I really feel.

Well, you want to
know how I feel?

- Like a total idiot.
- Wait. Will you just-just...?

Listen to me, please.

I'm moving on, Peter.

The damage is done.

This-This...

This is not your fault.

That's what you're
not getting here.

These are my issues.
It's my problem.

I don't care, okay?

Look, we-we shared a
hot dog and a few laughs.

It was no big deal.

But what you wrote
in the letter... it was...

It was nice.

It made me feel good.

And what you said
to that guy last night...

It made me feel horrible.

I got to go check my makeup.

Please. Wait. Just...

Can we try this again?

Uh, tomorrow night maybe at
the miniature golf course, hmm?

Just like before.

A date.

I'll be there at : sharp.

And forget the makeup.

You look beautiful.

DREW: Excuse me.

You started this
rumor, didn't you?

Me sleeping with Amanda?

It's made its way all the
way back to New York.

A model I'm dating
called me, mad as hell.

All the way to New York?

You're trying to ruin Amanda
in a sick, perverse way.

Honey, it's no worse
than half the things

that she's done to
me, and besides,

Amanda would have slept
with you if that was the only way

- she could have gotten that award.
- Well, you can now

forget ever being
nominated, much less winning.

Fine.

Besides, I already
got everything I wanted

out of that award.

And you got a little bonus,
too, didn't you, Drew?

Didn't hear any complaints
the other night in bed, huh?

Listen, don't let the, uh,
door hit you on the way out,

okay, Drew, babe?

(exhales)

KYLE: Interesting.

Limo's going to be here in ten
minutes, you're not dressed yet.

AMANDA: Have a lovely evening.

KYLE: Have... what?

Could you move a
couple feet to the left?

Move?

Hiding is not the solution.

It's the only solution.

This way the who's
who of the business world

- can whisper behind my back.
- No, see,

that's why you have to go.

How else you gonna thumb
your nose at these people?

There, you can deliver
the message for me.

(Kyle chuckles)

That's very good.

(gasps) Ow.

(Kyle grunts)

Huh? Kyle, put me down.

I am not kidding.

All right, you said black dress.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh.

Which black dress?

Ah, here we go.

Forget it, I am not
leaving this apartment.

Stand up.

Mm-hmm.

(grunts)

All right.

Now, hands over your head.

Up.

Uh-huh.

Spaghetti straps... that's nice.

All right, turn around.

(Kyle sighs)

(both grunt)

There, dressed.

Didn't think I could
do it, did you?

I'll need shoes, smart-ass.

Sit.

(sighing): Okay.

(Kyle grunts)

(both chuckle)

There.

What do you think about
taking them back off again?

After the awards.

No, before.

Make love to me.

Okay, if we hurry.

No, nice and slow.

(laughter and
indistinct chatter)

EVE: Peter.

Hi.

- You're still here.
- Yeah.

I almost didn't come.

It, it feels risky.

Risky... is that the right word?

No, no, I know
what you're feeling.

It's, it's much
easier to hide and...

Is hide the right word?

Peter, I have a huge
confession to make.

I've never really had

a real relationship before.

That's why I was so back and
forth, a-aggressive but scared.

I-I didn't know if
I could do it, so,

so I just jumped in and I sank.

Look, I've had a lot
of relationships before,

and the same thing
always seems to happen,

so if anybody has a
confession to make here,

it should probably be me.

I'm damaged goods.

Okay?

I-I don't know if it's
temporarily, maybe forever.

I don't know.

You mean Amanda?

Yeah, Amanda.

It's, it's hard for me to open
myself up to someone new.

But you're here.

Yeah, I'm here.

I'm here, too.

You know what?

Whatever's happened before
in your life and with whom,

it doesn't matter to me.

Let's just start this
again from here,

from, from this spot,
from this moment,

and whatever's come before,

we'll just wipe it clean
like it was never there.

Okay?

Deal?

Deal.

Hey, Drew, smashing party.

Snob and a lousy lover.

Mmm, good taste in
champagne, though.

You know what?

I'm going to, uh,
get another drink.

Would you like one?

- Sure.
- Okay.

(both chuckle)

You know, Jane, uh...

you never looked more
beautiful than this evening.

You make me beautiful.

One of your best dresses.

I, uh...

(chuckles)

wasn't looking at the dress.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Is, um, is Amanda here yet?

Oh, no.

I wouldn't count
on seeing her either.

Champagne, please.

You know, I think I know
how that rumor started.

Well, you should say something,
I mean, you should tell Amanda.

You think it would
make a difference?

I mean, the damage
is already done.

No, the damage can be undone.

I mean, you do
what you have to do.

WOMAN (whispering): Oh, my
God, I can't believe she showed up.

She slept with Drew.

Do not leave my
side for a second.

I wouldn't consider it.

- Hi, guys.
- Hey.

Kyle.

- Hey, Jane.
- Hey, guys.

Michael, why don't you go get
Amanda and Kyle some champagne?

Sure, will do.

(sighs) How are we?

We are fine.

Good.

May I have, uh, three
champagnes, please?

Michael, Michael, listen to me

and listen to me
carefully, okay?

There's something I want
you to give to Amanda. I would

do it myself, except that if
Lexi caught me, I'd be fired.

♪♪

It's very important...
I am slipping

a note into your pocket, okay?

♪♪

The next chance you
get, slip it to Amanda.

(kisses)

What do you say we dance?

Oh, I'd love it.

- Oh, you guys...
- Oh, Michael,

just, um, put
those on the table.

Oh, sure.

Hmm.

What?

- Michael.
- What, what are you...?

- Jane.
- What the hell is this?

- Jane, wait, th-that-that's...
- What are you and Megan up to?

Okay, wait, th-this, this
is not what you think it is.

"Meet me in the
ladies' room. Megan."

This is so sick.

Jane, Jane,

you don't understand,
this note is not for me.

Oh, right. You know what?

I seem to remember a little
rendezvous we once had

at a doctors' convention
in the ladies' room.

- Jane, there is no...
- Michael, stay right there.

I will take this meeting.

Well, you had me fooled, Megan.

You know, you must
be pretty desperate,

chasing after
someone else's man.

Let me tell you something.

Michael is mine now.

No, no, no, this
note... It's for Amanda.

I needed to see her.

I need to tell her what
I know about the rumor

about her.

(both sigh)

And you couldn't be
seen talking to her.

No, Lexi would k*ll me.

Lexi is the one that
started all of these rumors.

She couldn't stand Amanda
getting all of the attention.

The truth is, Lexi is the one
that slept with Drew Mackenzie

and she got it out of
him that Amanda won

and then she just
took it from there.

Amanda needs to know this.

Yes, would you
please tell her, and fast?

So without further ado,
this year's nominees are:

Amanda Woodward, Amanda
Woodward Advertising.

(applause)

Michelle Stevens, CEO of
Densen Pharmaceuticals.

(applause)

And Doris Engel, CFO,
Whitehead Systems.

(applause)

And the award goes to...

Amanda Woodward.

No prisoners, hmm?

AMANDA: The first line

of my acceptance
speech was to be,

"Thank you, Drew Mackenzie,"

but if I say that, you'll
all think I slept with him,

which is, as we all know,

the only way a woman
can win this award.

(sighs)

Anyway, Drew,
this is, this is terrific,

but you have it all wrong

with that stuff about
integrity and conviction.

You should be looking for women

who could backstab,
cheat, and lie

as, as good as the next guy.

I'm talking master manipulators,

rumormongers,
gossips, and, um...

I'm afraid I don't
measure up in those areas,

so I'm going to have
to decline this award...

(crowd gasping)

and make sure it goes to the
woman who really deserves it,

a woman so low
that she would resort

to starting a rumor to
destroy a person's reputation

for no other reason than,
hey, just for the fun of it,

so, um,

come on, everyone,
let's, let's put 'em together

for Lexi Sterling,

the lowest of the lowest
and my personal choice

for Businesswoman of the Year.

(applause)
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