03x02 - Jeannie or the Tiger?

[bunniefuu]

I will.

Yes, you know I will.

All right,
give my love to dad and sis.

Yes, okay, bye.

Was that your mother again,
master?

Uh-huh.

The usual thing, you know.

Stay out of drafts,
marry a nice girl.

I am a nice girl, master.

Yes, I know you are, Jeannie.

Somehow I...
I don't think you're exactly

what my mother has in mind.

My family never calls me.

Do you know, master, I have not
seen my sister Jeannie

for over years.

Jeannie?

Your sister's name is Jeannie?

Oh, yes, we are all Jeannies.

No kidding.

How do they tell you apart?

Oh, you would have no difficulty

telling my sister Jeannie
from me, master.

She's very...

different.

Well, if you miss her so much,
why don't you call her?

Only, uh,
reverse the charges, huh?

I'll be home early.
I want to get to bed early.

Don't plan anything fancy, huh?

Have a good day, master.

Okay.

"Reverse the charges."

Well, I will do
better than that.

Oh.

Yes, Master Poopsie,
what is it this time?

Jeannie.

Do you not recognize me?

It is your sister, Jeannie.

Well, careful, careful, darling,

my hair.

Well, what am I doing here?

Well, my master
was talking about his family

so I began to think,
we had not seen each other

in such a very long time
and so...

well...

here you are.

Well, frankly, darling,
I'm grateful.

Your homey, little impulse
may just have saved me

from a long, dull summer.

I don't know
what your master is like,

but mine's a drag.

Oh, not my Major Nelson.
He is a wonderful man.

For starters, he's ,

and he's got wives.

Well, my Major Nelson
is not married.

But I am hopeful.

So, he keeps me
in that stuffy, old bottle

all day long

until the ashtrays
in one of his limousines

gets filled up.

And then it's zap,
out of the bottle.

Poof, a new limousine.

And squish,
back in the old jug again.

I'm so bored I could scream.

Well, my master hardly let's me
give him anything.

In fact, he gets angry
if I try to give him a present.

Well, if he doesn't want
anything,

what do you do all day long?

Oh, we go places
and do things together.

In fact, I am hardly ever
in my bottle.

Is this
your Major Nelson, darling?

Is he not beautiful?

Mmmm.

Groovy.

But he sure could provide you
with a better bottle.

This is pretty tiny.

Oh, no, it is quite comfortable.

Oh, don't kid me, sis.
You must be cramped in there.

Oh, no, truly, I will show you.

See?

It is most cozy.

Glad you like it, darling,
because from now on

it's home sweet home.

What are you doing?

You let me out of here.

And don't worry about
your Major Nelson, darling.

I'm going to take good care
of him.

Ugh.

Hello?
Anybody home?

Well.

Master, darling, Oh, hi, Jeannie

you're home.

Well, that's what I call
starting the day off right.

You're not...

I... I always knew
I had sneaky charm,

it just takes a...
A year or two to sink in.

Help, Major Healey!
Let me out!

You are an imposter.

Let me out!

Don't look now but I think
somebody's in your bottle.

Oh, it's just the cleaning lady,
sweetheart.

Pay no attention.

It is me, Major Healey.

It is me, Jeannie.

Oh, let me out.
Let me out.

Wait a minute.

If you're Jeannie...

then who are you?

I'm glad you asked, darling.

Hey, wait a

minute.

Whoa!

Boy, she sure has a spooky idea
of a practical joke.

Oh!

Going south?

Hey, Jeannie, I'm home.

Yummy.

Master, I'm so happy
to finally see you.

What's gotten into you anyway?

Oh, nothing.

Don't I always kiss you
when you come home at night?

Yeah, well not that way.

What a waste.

Look.
Restrain yourself, please.

What's for dinner?

Well, that's up to you, baby.

Where's the best place in town

for a nice, thick Chateaubriand
with béarnaise sauce?

The kitchen.

Look, I'm bushed.

Anything in the refrigerator
will be fine.

Master, darling,
we're going out to eat.

Oh, no, we're not.

I want you to promise me never
to do this sort of thing again.

Cherries jubilee,
my utter favorite.

I thought you hated cherries.

Well, I mean, my new favorite.

Jeannie, I don't know
what you're trying to prove

but this new style of yours
has got to quit.

Oh, but that's what you need,
master, a new style.

And a brand-new Jeannie
to go with it.

And there are going to be
some changes made, darling.

You're really going to swing.

I'm going home.
And so are you.

Home?

Darling, the evening is young.

Pay the check.

Pay the check?

Where will we go dancing?

Jeannie, I don't know
if you've forgotten,

But I'm the guy that found you
in that bottle on the beach.

I give the orders around here.

We are going home.

No, no, darling.
It's all in the hips.

Watch.

I'm watching, I'm watching.

You could get arrested for that.

For this?

Oh, darling, you should see me
when I really move.

Can't we get outta here, please?

Oh, I dig.

Like you say,
you're the master, darling.

Cha-cha-cha.

Huh?

Oh.

Jeannie, can't...
Can't we go home?

I'm... I'm due at the base
in two hours.

Oh, not yet, darling.

I want to see the sun
rise above Sugarloaf.

Uh, well, all right, you...
You can stay here

and do all the dancing
you want to. I'm going home.

Sugarloaf?

Where are we?

Brazil.

Huh?

All right, Major Nelson,
I want your reactions

to yesterday's simulator flight,
exactly as you remember them.

Now, uh, Major Nelson?

Wake up, major.

Oh.

Dr. Bellows,
what are you doing here, sir?

This happens to be my office.

Oh, of course it is.
I'm sorry, sir.

I... I didn't get much sleep
last night.

Should we get started
with the de-briefing.

Uh, fine.

Now,
according to Paragraph ...

Major Nelson.

Wake up!

Tony? Tony?

Are you in there?
I've gotta talk to you.

Major Healey, help!
Let me out.

Jeannie, is that you?

Oh, it is terrible.

My own sister,
she has locked me in my bottle.

Oh, where is she?

She is with my master.

Oh, please, help me!

Oh, don't worry, don't worry.

Old Roge will come
to the rescue.

Please, hurry.

Okay, here I come.

Hi.

Bye.

Comfy, sister dear?

Okay, I wanna talk to you.

What have you done
with my master?

Where is he?

Oh, cool it, sis.

We've got business to discuss.

Master? Master?

Relax.

He's at his little
dullsville job.

His job is not dullsville.

I could make him
the swingingest master going.

You don't appreciate
his potential.

I like him the way he is.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I see him
in a white dinner jacket

with a daiquiri in one hand

and an expensive cigar
in the other.

Uh, I'm fine now, sir.

Good.

Now, if we...

Major Nelson,
what are you wearing?

Wearing, sir?
Well, my uniform.

You!
You want to change him.

Well, my master and I
are perfectly happy and...

And I... I think he looks
handsome in his uniform.

That's a uniform?

Yes, sir.

Oh, I...

I'm sorry, major.

Uh, for a moment,
I could have sworn

that you were wearing
a dinner jacket

and smoking a cigar.

I don't smoke, sir.

I didn't let you out
of the bottle to argue with you.

I've got it all figured out.

You're going to take my place
back in Baghdad,

keeping old Ibn Grandpa
supplied in limousines.

I will do no such thing.

While I stay here

and teach that gorgeous hunk
of a sow's ear

what life is all about.

How dare you suggest
such a thing.

I...
What makes you think

I will allow you
to steal my master?

Oh, let's face it, sis.

Your Major Nelson
has jet-set potential,

and you're a horse-and-buggy
genie.

He ought to have
a string of ponies.

May we get along
with the debriefing, sir.

Uh?!
Oh! I'm s...

Major,
put down that polo mallet.

What polo mallet, sir?

Don't make me get rough, sis.
You'll like the old coot.

He's, uh, just your style.

Well, I would not trade
my master for sheiks.

Oh, now, how do you know,
you haven't even seen him yet.

He can be pretty, uh, regal
in his burnoose

and his flowing, white robes.

Do, uh, I look all right to you?

Oh, fine, fine, sir.

Well, a second ago, I...

I thought you were standing
over me with a polo mallet.

Uh, look at my eyes,

do they look clouded
or anything?

No, sir, you look just the same.

Almost.

Well...

Well, okay, sis,
if you feel that way about it.

After all, I only want you
to be happy.

We are sisters, aren't we?

À bientôt.

Jeannie, help.

She's got me trapped
in the bottle.

She's gonna take me back
with her.

Oh. Oh!

Do not worry, master,
I am coming.

Master?

Better luck next time.

She tricked me with his voice.

Ooh!

Ha, ha!

You can forget about
your Major Nelson, sweetheart.

You won't be seeing him again.

Well, uh,
perhaps it was just a...

An hallucination, sir.

Psychiatrists
don't have hallucinations.

You know as well as I do

that I was sitting here
in long, flowing robes...

and a burnoose.

Wasn't I?

Whatever you say, sir.

Well, that'll be all now, major.

We'll finish this tomorrow,
and, uh,

you won't, uh, mention this
to anyone, will you?

Of course not, sir.

Thank you.
I won't forget this.

Neither will I.

Jeannie!

Oh, Jeannie.

Oh, thank heavens
you're all right.

Your sister's more powerful
than you are, huh?

Well, don't worry.

I figured out a way
to get rid of her.

I'll pretend
she's the real Jeannie,

and you sneak up
behind her, okay?

Okay?

Okay, sugarplum.

Send me someplace warm, huh?
I catch cold easy.

Someplace with a beach.

Wonder if there's someplace
I can rent a camel.

I could have gotten
court-martialed.

Now, either you're gonna
have to give up

this new personality of yours
or we're through.

You don't know a good thing
when you see it,

do you, darling?

All right, Jeannie,
I hate to do this.

Back in your bottle.

I might be a little crowded.

Hold tight, darling.

This time we're really
going to roar.

Oh, no, back in your bottle...

Jeannie, would you get us home?

Would ya?
What is this?

Uh, hadn't you better sh**t,
love?

I think he's charging.

Bravo, bwana.

I won't be a minute, darling,

and then we're off to Portugal.

Come in.

What did you say, darling?

I thought I heard
somebody knock.

Your nerves are jumpy.

Master.

Master, master.

Help!

Master, let me out!

Wh... Jeannie?

Angel mustn't get impatient.

Oh, master!

Wait a minute.

Your sister? Your sister?

Oh, I am so glad you are safe.

Safe? Nobody's safe
with her around.

I'm almost dead.

I'm ready, Tony, baby.

Shh.

Pretend that you still think
she is me.

You... Wait a minute. Wait...
Jeannie.

How does this strike you?

Do you think
it'll match Portugal?

Oh, it's very nice. It's...
I like the blue one better.

Uh, the blue one?

Yeah, my favorite.

The one you wore
last Saturday night.

It's in your bottle.

Where did you get that?

Oh, it was right here,
where it always is.

She's gone.

You know, Jeannie,

I like you much better now
than the way you were before.

You do?

Say, why don't you hop into
that little blue number

and we'll paint Portugal red,
huh?

Well...

okay.

It'll just take a minute.

Gotcha. Oh, boy.
Tony!

Now we'll see who's
master around here. Tony!

Jeannie's in there.
We gotta let her out quick.

Wait.
Wait a minute.

She's been trapped in there
for days.

Do you know what you've done?

Yeah, there's a bad Jeannie
around here someplace,

and the real one's
in the bottle.

And the bad Jeannie came...
And the real...

Yeah, yeah.
Wrong Jeannie.

Right, Jeannie, darling.
Wrong man.

Bye, Tony.

Mind if I pack a few things?

She's all heart.

Jeannie?

Jeannie!

I am here, master.

Stop her, stop her.

Well, so you want a showdown?

He is mine
and you keep your hands off.

Well, if you want him,
sister dear,

you simply have
to fight for him.

Well, all right, then.
I will.

House rules?

House rules.

Uh, w-what's
house rules?

She means we can only use
what's here in the house.

Oh, well, hey,
if that's the case...

Well, maybe if I shed some light
on the subject

you'd see things more clearly.

Ladies, I really don't think...

Look, uh, girls,
why don't you negotiate?

I mean, after all,
you're sisters.

What you need is to improve
your mind with a few good books.

Yeah, uh...
I mean, blood is thicker than...

Master!

Wait a minute.

All right, ladies. Now stop it.
Now, I mean it.

No, no, no. No! No!

Oh!

Would ya...?

Waa! Ow!

Ya!

Wait a minute. Wait...

Would you... Would you...

Jeannie, doesn't she have
a master of her own?

Oh, master, you are brilliant.

Oh.

Why did I not think of that?

Ahh, there you are,
you wicked Jeannie.

I've been looking for you
everywhere.

I will have you whipped
for this.

Back in the bottle.

Dirty pool.

In the bottle,

Ibn Ali commands you.

Yes, master.

I'll be back, darlings.

Uh, Major Nelson,
I understand now

what happened this morning.
It was all suggestion.

You were saying, sir?

Uh, nothing, major.

I'm not even here.

Psst!

Let's make a break for it.

Roge, you look half dead.
Come on inside.

Oh, no, no, I can't.

She'll send me
to the bottom of the sea.

That's the only place left.

No, we got rid of her.
Relax, it's okay.

No, it's okay, come on in.

Oh, you...

You don't know
how hot it can get.

Yeah, I know.

You don't know
how cold it can get.

Darlings.

Oh, it is my sister's, master,
and I thought I would try it on.

Do you like it?

You gave me quite a start,
young lady.

It's all right, Roger.
It's the real Jeannie.

No, it...
No, it really is.

Tell him, um... Tell him about
last Wednesday night,

all the fun we had.

Wednesday night?

Yeah.

I do not remember.

Tuesday night?

Nope.

Um, Thursday night?

No.

Well, you... You...
You pick a night.

Oh, master?
Major Healey?