07x31 - Bitter Homes and Guardians

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Melrose Place". Aired: July 8, 1992 –; May 24, 1999.*
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Follows the lives and loves of eight young adults in an apartment complex in Los Angeles.
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07x31 - Bitter Homes and Guardians

Post by bunniefuu »

You're Ryan's daughter?

But don't you live in New York?

- Not anymore.
- Oh, great. You ran away?

Look, do you know
where my father is or not?

He's probably out on a hot date.

With Megan?

(laughs) Wait a second.

I'm-I'm Megan.

I mean, with the other Megan,
the Megan who came to see me

in New York with...

with you.

Where's your collar, Father?

Um...

- Father?
- Kid's delusional.

Uh-huh. Why don't you come in
and we'll have some hot cocoa,

and we'll straighten
everything out, okay?

Now, by any chance,

did the other Megan
have red hair?

- Yeah. How'd you know?
- Well, sometimes

people get us confused.

TERRY: Oh, calm
down, Ryan. I mean,


if it weren't for you, she
wouldn't have run away

- in the first place.
- Oh, you're kidding, now it's my fault?

I mean, you're
constantly upsetting her.

You're coming by
whenever you feel like it

and calling at all hours.

I don't know who the
hell you think you are.

Well, he's her father.

- You stay out of this.
- No, no, I am her father,

and you know what, I think
you're doing anything you can

- to turn Sarah against me.
- (laughs): Oh, please!

What?

Mayday. Ryan's kid just walked

through Megan's front door.

What? What is it?

Oh, my God.

I found Sarah;
she's in California.

California?

Sarah, honey?

No, no, no, no, this
is Michael, honey.

Sarah honey's in the kitchen
having cocoa with Megan.

- Hold on; I'll get her for you.
- Let me speak to her.

I'm talking to my
daughter; Do you mind?

Sarah, don't ask me how,

but I found your father.

Daddy?

Hey, Sarah, you okay?

I'm fine; where are you?

I'm at St. Agnes,
at your school.

Why did you run away?

I wanted to see you.

I needed to see you.

Oh, well, look, I'll
see you tomorrow.

I'm gonna have Megan take you

over to Uncle
Kyle's at the beach.

You'll really like him.

Okay, everything's
gonna be all right.

I'll be back before you know it.

Can you let me
talk to Megan now?

Uh, Ryan?

Hey, listen, I know the
timing's kind of awkward,

but will you do me a favor;
take Sarah over to Kyle's?

(sighs)

Well, why can't she stay here?

I don't want her near
Michael, and you know,

don't take this the wrong way,

but neither of
you two are family.

All right, you're right, uh,
she needs to be with family.

Um, I-I'll take her right over.

Tell Kyle I'll pick
her up tomorrow.

And, Megan, um,

thanks.

(beeps)

She's okay; Kyle's
gonna take care of her.

No, I'm the one
who's responsible.

- I should be...
- No, I know that you're responsible,

Okay, I'm sure you
take great care of Sarah,

but you must have said
something to her to get her to run

across the country like that.

I never said or did anything.

All right, you guys, look,

shouldn't we just be
happy that Sarah's okay?

- Yeah.
- She'll be okay when she's back here

- where she belongs.
- Well, we'll see.

That's one of the
reasons I came out

was to find out if
she does belong here.

Are you threatening
a custody battle?

You know, I guess I am.

Come on, Lexi.

I wonder why Sarah ran away.

What did she say, huh?

Lexi, I know that you're
up to your butt in all this.

Unless, of course, you
can explain why Michael

called you when Sarah
showed up on Megan's doorstep?

I didn't think so.

(scoffs)

(waves crashing)

(door opens)

I'm sure there's a logical
explanation for this,

other than the one

- that's raising my blood pressure.
- Yeah,

- and you'll never guess what.
- Trying not to.

Uh,

you're never gonna
believe who this is.

Sarah,

I want you to meet
your Aunt Amanda.

Hi, Aunt Amanda.

Aunt Amanda?

Uh, Ryan's daughter.

Oh.

Oh, of course, Ryan's daughter.

JANE: She's just
spending the night.

We're making up her
bed; Ryan's in New York.

Oh, well, that bed
looks pretty comfy,

and I'm exhausted and I
want to get in my bed, too,

so what do you say
we have a contest

and see who can
fall asleep first?

- You're on.
- Okay, well, I should get going.

I'll see you in the morning,
and you sooner than that I hope.

Sleep tight.

You can go ahead.

I can take care of this.

But Daddy always
says my prayers with me.

SARAH: Now I lay
me down to sleep...

BOTH: I pray the
Lord my soul to keep.

Love stay with me
through the night,

and wake me with
the morning light.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Through my head
and the old man said it ♪

♪ Didn't even know my name ♪

♪ Who'll bear the winkin'
and I'm full of secrets ♪

♪ Trip down revival lane ♪

♪ No matter what, I said
I don't survive those ♪

♪ Always someone
clinging to my path ♪

♪ Nostalgia disguised
in a skinless coat ♪

♪ I've got enough to last ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Well, this world's
gonna change everyone ♪

♪ My eyes, they
can't settle down ♪

♪ Even though I hung around ♪

♪ In the ragged
dome of the city sky ♪

♪ Just trying to phone home... ♪

- EVE: (sighs) Good morning.
- PETER: Hey.

Made you some fresh
Colombian kick-start,

- just the way you like it.
- Oh, just what I need; thank you.

What you need to do is
get away from that club

- for a while.
- Oh, I'll be all right.

Amanda had me entertaining
Tony Marlin again, that's all.

She's really trying to land
his cruise line account.

She wanted me to make
sure he had a good time.

What does that mean?

"Have a good time"?

I don't know, talk to him,

sing to him,

give him a special night.

Well, I could say
something right now,

but we'd probably
wind up fighting.

Peter, I'm Amanda's person
entertainment consultant.

It sounds to me like you're
turning into his concubine.

God, I hope that's a joke.

Eve, listen to me.

You know, Amanda uses people

to get ahead,
especially in business.

Now, friend or no friend,

I'm just warning you,
you could get hurt here.

Don't worry, I won't get hurt.

I won't let that happen.

Well, maybe you
might consider being

my entertainment consultant
for a quick little trip to Maui.

(gasps) The tickets.

- You got them.
- Tickets?

Where did those... I don't...

Tickets, I mean...
Do you want to go?

- I still want to go, yes!
- I don't even know...

Peter, I love you.

Oh, I can't believe
how late I am.

Michael, stop right there.

You're not going
anywhere until I get the truth,

and don't tell me you
have one of those faces.

Sarah recognizes
you from New York.

Okay, okay, I ran into
her once, but that's it.

Where? In New York? At the zoo?

At the Natural History
Museum in Central Park?

Actually,

it was at St. Agnes
School for Girls.

But it was Lexi's idea.

She was doing a background
check on, well, Ryan.

Well, first I talked to Gail
and Robin and Jennifer

about your engagements, and...

Wait-wait, check that...
First I got them drunk.

You talked to my ex-fiancés?

Mm, yeah. Lunch
at the Palm Court.

All three of them together?

Mm-hmm, and they all had

the same story: you get engaged,

and then you get cold feet.

And sure enough, when you
came back from New York,

you broke off your
engagement with Megan.

MICHAEL: See, Lexi
realized that something


or someone was keeping
Ryan from getting married,

and he wasn't talking.

So, uh, we, I mean,

she figured the answer
was in New York.

So, we broke into
your apartment,

looking for any
sort of, uh, clues,

and sure enough, we found
the visitor's pass to St. Agnes.

You broke into my apartment?

You broke into his apartment?

Not exactly; we
drugged him first.

From there, it was easy.

I mean, we went
to St. Agnes school,

and we found Sarah.

Wait a minute, how'd
you get into St. Agnes?

You have to be either
a relative or work there.

Or a nun.

You pretended to be a nun?

You dressed up like a priest?

Believe it or not, I
was very convincing.

I had this heart-to-heart
with Sarah,

and I told her that, you know,
you'd never get engaged again

without her permission.

The letter?

MEGAN: So, that's why
he came by my apartment


the other night; he wanted
to tell me about Sarah,

and the letter, and
the whole thing.

And that's why he wanted me
to know about the affair with Lexi,

because he wanted me to
break off the engagement

because Sarah didn't want
him to get married again.

Megan, I'm glad you
understand why I did what I did.

Understand?

I'm a heartbeat away from
strangling you, Michael.

Ryan, I only did this

because I love you.

You're my Mr. Right.

You always have been.

I had to take some
desperate measures.

Desperate? No, no.

Pathetic measures, Lexi, okay?

If these windows opened
right now, you'd be skydiving.

It's no wonder Megan hates me.

I can't imagine Ryan's pain.

Poor Megan.

Poor Ryan.

(mellow jazz playing)

Miss Woodward, would you
like to join your party now?

Oh, I'm not ready
to interrupt just yet.

Okay.

So, I stood in center
field on that Saturday,

and I sang the national
anthem to a sold-out stadium.

(laughs) I don't...
I was years old.

I don't know whether I was
fearless or incredibly naive.

You don't strike me as naive.

Oh, you wouldn't say
that if you knew me better.

Growing up in
Oakhurst, California,

years in prison for a
crime you didn't commit.

I make it a point to
really get to know people.

Who told you? Amanda?

No, I just did a
little checking.

On Amanda, too.

So far, I've been impressed
with everything I've seen

on both of you.

Tony, I'm sorry I'm late.

Traffic was horrible.

I hate to say this, Amanda,

but, uh, we're gonna
have to talk later.

I'm already pushing
my next meeting.

Oh, later, of course,

but just so you know, the
plans for your commercial

are coming along beautifully.

I'm sure you'll be
impressed; oh, and

I'll call you later with an
incredible casting suggestion.

I can't wait.

Thank you

for a memorable breakfast.

Good work.

What do you mean?

I didn't do anything; I was
just supposed to be here

to help you sell an idea.

Well, you sold
the idea all right.

The idea was you.

You're gonna be my
casting suggestion.

You're gonna star
in our commercial.

(sighs) But why me?

Well, let's see.

Because your my friend,

because you're inexpensive,

and because Tony
Marlin adores you.

I don't know.

What's there to know?

I mean, this is a
chance of a lifetime.

Where would Kathie Lee be

if she hadn't done a commercial
and met Frank Gifford?

Hmm?

First of all, I already
have my Frank Gifford

and all the money I need,
and second of all, I can't act.

This isn't about acting.

This is about using your
spectacular good looks.

You're beautiful.

Just think beautiful
and help me.

Please. All I'm asking is
for one week out of your life

to sh**t the commercial.

And if Tony buys it,

my agency is the biggest
on the West Coast,

and I don't have to
grovel after smaller clients.

Please, please do this for me.

Okay, all right.

All right, you have a
deal on one condition.

Don't ever compare me
to Kathie Lee ever again.

(Amanda laughs)

Ever.

All right.

(laughs)

- Oh!
- Oh!

(sighs)

RYAN: Megan?

- Hi.
- Hi.

Welcome back.

Thanks.

Um, I was just
getting a blanket.

I came by to check on Sarah,
and Kyle invited me to stay, so...

Oh, yeah. Well, thanks
again for bringing her here.

- Yeah. She's an amazing kid.
- Yeah.

- I know she's dying to see you.
- Mm.

Um... now that you're here,
I should probably get going.

They're just down at the beach.

I just want to say,

I'm sorry for the
way I treated you,

for the things that I said.

It was stupid. It was cruel.

No, I understand.

- You do?
- Mm-hmm.

I mean, my God, all those things

that Michael and
Lexi did to you.

SARAH: Daddy!

Sarah!

Sarah.

Hey. Ah.

(sighs)

All right. Hey, is
this your Frisbee?

(dog barking)

(sighs)

(clears throat)

- Got your note.
- Oh.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

What have you done
to Amanda's apartment?

It looks like a brothel in here.

(scoffs) You would know.

Oh, uh, by the way, if
you weren't aware of it,

you're gonna have to
find a new boy to seduce.

Ryan is probably out shopping

- for swing sets by now, thanks to you.
- LEXI: Would you quit

panicking? This is just
a temporary setback.

You know, I don't know why

I listen to you
in the first place.

I had Megan in the
palm of my hand.

And now, I'm dead in the water.

It's all over.

Oh, yeah, Megan Shmegan, honey.

It's not over till
I say it's over.

We just have to make
a few little adjustments.

Like what? sh**ting the kid?

LEXI: No, Michael.

Actually, the kid
is not our problem.

The kid is our solution.

Once I'm done with her,

she's gonna beg
Ryan to marry me.

Wow.

Using a kid.

How low can you go?

A lot lower.

I mean, I used you, didn't I?

Mm.

(computer beeps)

KYLE: How's it going?

(sighs) It's going.

You missed a good dinner.

It was nice to see Sarah and
Ryan hanging out together.

I bet. In the same
room and everything.

So what are you working
on, the new account?

(sighs) I'm working
on how to pay for it.

In order to produce the
commercial, I have to downsize.

I'm letting half my staff go.

KYLE: Wait.

- Is that Jane's name?
- Yeah.

It's a tough call,
but the truth is,

Jane's okay financially.

She's your friend.

We're staying at her
beach house rent-free.

I'm aware of that.

Really? Are you really?

You know what? Who gives a
damn about your commercial?

We're-we're talking
about friends.

We're talking about loyalty.

You know this may
seem heartless to you,

but it's business to
me, good business.

So you abandon Jane
for the bottom line?

AMANDA: Listen to you.

You'd think she was your
mother or wife or lover.

What's that supposed to mean?

You tell me,
Mr. Handy-To-Have-Around-The-House.

KYLE: Oh, okay.

I get it. So, you
can't keep her on

because she's your friend.

You have to fire her
because she's my friend?

- This is going nowhere.
- You're right.

You fire Jane, you
and I are through.

RYAN: You put on sun block

- like I asked?
- Tons, Dad.

- I'll be the palest person in California.
- Mm.

- I'll look like I don't even live here.
- (Ryan chuckles)

You know, we still
have to talk about that.

You mean, how I got all the
way across the country by myself.

I cashed in Aunt Terry's
frequent flyer miles.

- (laughs)
- SARAH: All of 'em.

(knocking)

Oh, no.

- Ryan McBride?
- That's me.

I need your
signature on line one.

Uh-huh.

Thank you.

Bad news?

Oh, it's a letter
from some lawyers.

They want me to return
you to your Aunt Terry.

What if I don't
want to be returned?

Don't you worry about it.

I want you to have
fun at the beach,

and I'll take care of the rest.

I can get lawyers,
too, you know.

But I want to stay with you.

They can't make me
go back, can they?

If they do, it'll just be
for a while, I promise.

(crowd murmuring,
phones ringing)

(door opening)

I apologize for
the short notice,

but what I have to
say is very important.

Sorry I'm late.

You're just in time.

I have some bad news.

This agency is at a
critical point in its history,

and in order to survive,
we're gonna have to downsize.

So I'm asking those of you
whose names are on the list

to stay with me and
work harder than ever.

And those of you
who are leaving,

I offer my sincere regrets.

Thank you for understanding.

- What about...?
- This can't be happening.

All right.

Let me talk to her.

Jane... you've been here
longer than me, okay?

I'll talk to Amanda.
She can fire me,

- and you can stay.
- MEGAN: What are you

saying? I should
go. Last hired, fired.

No, I'm gonna be fine,
okay? Let me take care of it.

MEGAN: Oh, you won't be fine.

You can't win a custody fight

without a job.

Neither of you is
going anywhere.

The truth is, I'm not
right for this business.

I-I don't have
the stomach for it.

Oh!

It's not fair.

Jane, I don't
want you to think...

What? That this is personal?

Of course it is. You
and I both know it.

(hammering and whirring,
indistinct, overlapping chatter)

Hey, Sarah.

Remember me?

You're the one who
pretended to be a nun

and pretended to be Megan.

Who are you
pretending to be today?

(laughs)

What are you doing here, Lexi?

Oh.

Is that her real name?

Uh, I think so.

LEXI: Oh, you
McBrides... You're all alike.

Such kidders.

Listen, Sarah, I was just

thinking about
going to Disneyland.

You want to join me?

Thanks, but I'd rather be

with my father and my uncle.

And the real Megan.

Oh. Well, what about...

Let's you and I
take a walk, Lexi.

I'll be right back, sweetheart.

Hmm.

- Come on.
- Hmm.

What's going on, Lexi?
What are you up to?

What? Sarah and I are friends.

I thought we could
have a good time.

Come on. You're acting like

I got some sort
of hidden agenda.

Huh? What's hidden about it?

I want to thank
you for stopping by.

Next time, call first.

- You'll save on gas.
- Mm, mock away, smart ass.

But I love children,
and children love me.

Outside of Michael, what
children do you know?

Hmm.

(keys jangling, engine starting)

(engine revving)

Hey! Wha...?

- Uncle Kyle?
- Yes?

Exactly when are you
taking me to Disneyland?

When am I taking
you to Disneyland?

Right after we put a few
more nails in some wood.

Come on. Ready?

Thanks.

Hey. What's so urgent?

I came here as soon as I could.

- I've got great news.
- Dom Pérignon?

Well, what are we celebrating?

Amanda cast me in
her new commercial.

I am the spokesperson
for Tony Marlin's cruise line.

Really? Well,
that's-that's great.

I know what you're thinking,
but I owe this to Amanda

for everything
she's done for me.

Yeah. Spokesperson, huh?

Actually, I get to sing, too.

Kind of like Kathie
Lee, but Peter,

I want you to know that I
won't put business before us.

Amanda or no Amanda.

Well, okay, let's, uh...

let's get to the
champagne, then, huh?

A little celebration... To
Maui and to your new job.

To Maui.

To the next Kathie Lee.

Uh. (laughs)

♪♪

♪ Feel the heat,
move your feet... ♪

Hey, what's up?

Dad's in the conference room.

I couldn't take it
anymore, listening to them

trying to pick out a
song for that commercial.

He's got a tin ear, you know.

♪ Uh-uh... ♪

♪♪

Hey. Just, uh,
picking a song out.

This is, uh, great stuff,
this Latin, uh, stuff.

It's got its own rhythm thing.

(music stops)

So, Sarah tells me you
could use some help.

No, no, I'm fine, fine.

Just, uh, you know,
narrowing it down.

- (Ryan clears his throat)
- So what are you down to?

Oh, about songs.

I feel like I'm losing my mind.
It's all sounding the same.

Oh, I lose this one.

I have this at home.

Remember? I used
to play this when, uh...

we, uh...

- (Latin jazz playing)
- Oh. -Uh...

Well, to be honest with you,

I wasn't really
paying attention.

I was concentrating
on other things.

- Mmm.
- Remember?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's
coming back to me now.

Makes me want to move.

- Mm.
- Mmm.

Yeah, makes me want to dance.

No, no, no. Move. There's
a big difference, you know.

There is a big difference.

Huge.

(knocking)

Um, yeah.

Great, uh, yeah.

Um, that's it; that's the song.

I'm glad I could help;
good night everyone.

Yeah, thanks.

What was that all about?

Oh, yeah, that. We were...

We were just, um, just dancing.

That wasn't dancing.

Even at St. Agnes,

they teach sex education.

Yeah.

Oh, geez, this is impossible.

This furniture doesn't fit.

Michael, you're supposed to
have the skilled hands of a surgeon.

Don't knock these hands.

You bought a
defective dollhouse.

Pieces are missing.

Oh...

You see that?

- Nothing fits.
- Michael, trust me.

This is gonna benefit us both.

You're gonna be
thanking me big time

Oh, all over a doll house?

- I don't think so.
- This is not just a dollhouse.

This is a home.

Look, with a mommy, hm?

And a daddy.

Look, and a little girl.

You see, it's a family.

This is exactly
what Sarah wants.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm just checking to
see if it's anatomically correct.

- (scoffs)
- Let me get this straight.

The red-haired
doll, that's Lexi,

and this stud doll,
this is Ryan, huh?

And the little girl is Sarah.

You see, this is... it's a
game that you're getting.

It's played on
sentiment, not sex.

And if you play your game right,

you'll end up with
your own dollhouse

with a nice, little, blonde
ex-hooker to go with it, hm?

(door opens)

Is Kyle home?

No.

(sighs)

- Did you tell him?
- Oh,

and spoil your fun?

We'll be out first
thing in the morning,

unless you want to
throw us out tonight.

Yeah, y-you'd like
that, wouldn't you?

You'd like me to throw you out

so that you can
look like the victim

and I would look like the bitch.

Jane, none of
this has been easy.

Don't take it personally.

How should I take it?

I mean, I was your
friend, and you fired me.

And then you cut me out,
like you cut out everyone

sooner or later, like
you're cutting out Kyle now.

- Leave Kyle out of this.
- Why?

I mean, that is
why you fired me,

because you're jealous
of our relationship.

Oh, now it's a relationship?

Kyle called it a friendship.

Well, as a friend, I think
you treat him crappy.

Well, who the hell asked you?

If he doesn't share your dream,

he doesn't share your
life, right, Amanda?

You know, I
shouldn't just fire you.

I should kick your ass.

Take your best sh*t.

You're scared,

aren't you, Amanda?

I mean, you pretend
to be the big boss,

but in the end, you're
just cowering in the corner

like some kind of an animal.

Kyle is mine.

You go near him,

and I'll eat you alive.

Mm-hmm, it's coming back to me.

(giggling)

- Makes me want to move.
- Mmm.

Well, um, the dinner's cold,

and the wine is-is warm.

But, um, we can still
decorate the Christmas tree.

That was the whole idea, right?

Just to do that together?

W-Was it the whole idea?

Oh, sure.


I mean, I did go out and buy
the tree and the ornaments.

I mean, I'm ready.

Well, yeah, I'm ready, too.

I've been ready for weeks.

We're not talking about
Christmas trees anymore, are we?

What Christmas tree?

Nancy McBrady's
father stares into space.

He had a nervous breakdown,
whatever that means.

(chuckles)

I'm not having a
nervous breakdown.

I'm just, uh,

thinking is all.

You're funny.

You love Megan, Megan loves you.

You're happy when
you're with her,

and you're sad when you're not.

You two should be together.

So, what do you do?
You think about it?

I just want to be sure.

How long did you think before
you were sure about Mom?

I didn't do a whole lot
of thinking in those days.

I acted first, and if
I thought about it,

it was much later.

Lucky for me.

(chuckling) Yeah.

Is Megan a lot like Mom?

How do you mean?

Did you laugh with Mom

the way you laugh with Megan?

Did you dance with her

the way that you
danced last night?

Is that why you love Megan?

Because she reminds you of Mom?

No, no, I love Megan because
she reminds me of Megan.

And I love Mom because
she reminds me of Mom.

If anybody reminds
me of Mom, it's you.

I mean, you're beautiful

like she was, you're
smart, you're brave.

You mean Mom wasn't afraid
of the dark or the boogeyman?

No, no, I mean,
Mom wasn't afraid

to stand up for what she
believed it, just like you.

You're not afraid to
say what's on your mind.

I'm not as brave as you think.

There's something I've been
afraid of, and I never told you.

I'm afraid of that if
you forget about Mom,

you'll forget about me.

That's why I made you
promise not to get married again.

Oh, honey, I'll never
forget about you.

I love you.

I love you more than anything.

Maybe you should
break that promise.

It was stupid anyway.

No, it wasn't.

Dad?

What I mean is

maybe it's time to stop thinking

and start proposing.

That's good advice.

Since you know so much,

why don't you show
me how to fly that thing.

Think you can handle it?

I don't know.

All right.

You're up early. Big day?

Very big. We're moving.

We're what?

We can't live here anymore.

- It's destroying us.
- What are you talking about?

What's going on?

Oh, no.

You did it; you fired
Jane when I told you...

Don't go there.

Don't tell me how
to run my business.

No, I am trying to tell you
how to act like a human being.

No, you're threatening me
and giving me ultimatums.

How human is that?

You're destroying our marriage.

Well, we've got to do something.

Yeah, we fix it; we work on it.

Or put it out of its misery.

Hey.

You can't mean that.

Every word.

You know what, I get it now.

This is your way out.

You knew how I was gonna react.

This had nothing to do
with Jane; Jane was just

another disposable friendship.

Jane got exactly
what she deserved.

Yeah, so did I, I guess.

No, you got the best of
me and it was never enough.

But you're free now.

You can go find
that ideal woman.

Hell, she might even
be in that beach house.

You are my ideal woman.

No, I have too much
ambition for you,

and you can't deal with it.

You can't keep up.

(shattering)

(off-key singing)

(knocking)

Hey there, kiddo.

Put on your clown makeup
because we have tickets

to the circus.

Um, uh, gee,

um, I don't think so,
but thanks anyway.

What? You don't like the circus?

You know what,
I don't blame you.

Those animals smell.

No problem.

Why don't you and
I take a little cruise

down Rodeo Drive, huh?

Do a little damage
on my gold card.

Um, it's okay.

I'm happy here.

Well, right, who wouldn't be
with a brand-new dollhouse, huh?

You like it, don't you?

Lexi, you don't have to do this.

What? I love dollhouses.

You don't have to win
me over just to get to Dad.

Oh.

Well, I just wanted
you to like me.

It doesn't matter who I like.

It matters who he likes,

and from everything
I've seen so far,

Megan's the one for him.

Well, honey, I don't
know about that.

She's the only woman
he ever talks about,

the only woman he ever
dances with, the only woman

he ever kisses, the
only woman he ever...

Enough. I get the point.

Sorry.

If you want your dollhouse back,

I'll understand.

How about lunch at Spago's?

There's tons of
movie stars, huh?

Maybe some other time.

(rock music playing)

♪ Best friends ♪

♪ It doesn't matter
what you say ♪

♪ Ooh, best friends,
best friends ♪

♪ You know they
love you anyway ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪

Hey, Pete.

- Hey. Buy you a beer?
- Yeah.

- Sounds good.
- Look, I made an offer to Eve.

I'm selling my % of the club,

and since she already owns
half, I'm giving her first sh*t.

So you and Amanda are
getting out of the business?

KYLE: This doesn't have
anything to do with me and Amanda.

This has to do with
me selling my %.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Kyle tell you about his
offer? Isn't that great?

Yeah. Yeah, it's nice.

It's a big decision.

You know, maybe we
ought to think about it.

Oh, yeah, sure.
No. Take your time.

- Uh, Kyle, can you just give us a second?
- Yeah.

Look, if you want
to buy this club...

No, no, no, no, no.

That's not what this is about.

They want to sh**t
the commercial

the exact same
time we're in Maui.

sh**t it next week?

It took me a month to
arrange my schedule.

I know, but Amanda's
in this huge hurry,

and there's nothing I can do.

Well, then, forget about
it. Blow the job off. Quit.

You know I can't do that.

Well, they have to
rearrange your schedule then.

I can't ask them to do that.

Well, I can.

(sighs)

Got to hand it to you, Amanda.

It's coming together.

- I knew you'd like it.
- (knocking)

Hey. Hope I'm not
crashing the party.

- I was in the neighborhood, so...
- Oh, come in.

Um, uh, Tony Marlin,
this is Peter Burns.

- This is Eve's husband.
- Hey, Tony.

Nice to meet you, Doc.

Great save over
at that hospital.

Bought the whole
thing, I understand.

- Yeah.
- Sort of the way I do business.

Someone irritates me, I
put them out of business.

What do you think?

PETER: Wow! Look at that.

You know, it's too
bad you're sh**ting

that commercial next week.

Eve and I are gonna be in Maui.

Since when?

Amanda didn't mention it.

- (sighs) -TONY: I'll
leave this to you to handle,

Amanda.

I've got to run.

You'll work it out?

Yes.

Nice to meet you, Doc.

Oh, you, too, sir.

I have a million dollars
riding on this, and you

expect me to put it off so
that you can take a vacation?

Maybe you and
Kyle should take one.

When I need a travel
agent, I'll call one.

Why don't you just admit it?
Your marriage is on the rocks.

So what if it is?

That doesn't change the
start date of the commercial.

All right, Amanda,

I'm-I'm asking you
as a friend here.

And if I don't say yes,
you'll hate me, right?

Well, I don't care
if you hate me,

I don't care if Kyle hates
me, or Jane hates me.

It doesn't matter anymore.

In fact, I would like nothing
better than to be left alone.

You split up with
Kyle, didn't you?

That's right.

My marriage is over.

And for the first time in
a long time, I feel great.

So, if you'll get out of
here, I can finish my work.

What?!

Nothing.

(scoffs)

♪ On a mission ♪

♪ Gone to Mars ♪

♪ Did anyone dream
we would come this far? ♪

♪ Gonna tell you
you lost your way ♪

♪ Don't let 'em think
they can make you play ♪

♪ There's one more
time to let it out ♪

♪ One more time ♪

♪ Can you show me? ♪

♪ Can you show me? ♪

♪ There's one more
time to let it out ♪

♪ One more time ♪

♪ Can you show me? ♪

♪ Can you show me? ♪

- ♪ Can you show me? ♪
- PETER: I wanted to ask...

Wow.

I love all the new
lingerie you bought me.

You're taking this
on your cruise?

What kind of business
trip is this anyway, huh?

The kind a wife can
get very lonely on

unless her husband was there
every night to tear these off.

You want me to go
on this cruise with you?

I packed all sorts of things
to make you forget Maui.

Well, what am I gonna
do the whole time?

There are hours in a day.

(laughter)

I only work eight of them.

So you can just imagine
all the things we can do

with the other .

Boggles the mind.

Oh, yeah.

Mmm.

I told you that little girl
would be a problem, but no.

(laughs) Yeah, well, she says

that Megan is the only woman
that Ryan ever talks about.

Or dances with, or kisses,
or etcetera, etcetera.

You mean Megan is
doing etcetera, etcetera

behind my back?

Honey, she's probably doing
etcetera, etcetera right now.

- (Michael grunts) -What
do you expect? She's a slut.

Whoa, hey, hey, that's the
woman I love you're talking about.

You don't love her.
You just want her.

- Men just want women.
- Yeah, at least men know what they want.

That's more than I
can say for women.

Yeah, you just want her
because you can't have her.

- No way.
- Oh.

If I wanted every woman I
couldn't have, I'd go crazy.

Michael, you're living in this
dump, you're playing with dolls.

That's not crazy?

Well, I mean, you know,
we needed a better plan.

Oh, I was a great nun.

- What?!
- Yeah.

Yeah, and that
searching for Mr. Right.

Headhunting for a mate.

You know, that's for geeks.

Not for a woman
of... of your anatomy.

(laughs) Anatomy? You know,
that is such a doctor's word.

I've had my fill of doctors.

Oh, yeah? Well, I've
had my fill of redheads.

Uh, uh, great. Now, I'm
just another redhead?

Honey, you don't know redheads
until you know this redhead.

Oh, yeah. Well, I've
never met a redhead

who undressed in a
laundry room before.

Well, it's my laundry room. I
can do whatever I want in it.

- Etcetera, etcetera?
- Hell, yeah. -Mmm.

(both moaning)

MICHAEL: Oh.

LEXI: Ooh, Michael. Oh!

MEGAN: Are you sure
you want to do this?


Send Sarah back to New York?

Well, just until I
can get a lawyer

and open up the
custody question again.

Hey, um, thanks for
everything you've done.

Yeah?

So what are we gonna
do about us, huh?

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Well, I know what
I don't want to do.

I don't want to mess up again.

Or rush into anything.

Or send mixed signals.

I always send mixed signals.

Change your mind.

You changed your mind, too.

Yeah, but it was only after
you changed your mind.

- It was?
- Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I guess it was.

(Megan sighs)

All right, I know that I
never want to hurt you again.

Can we start from there?

Yeah, I think
that's a great start.

I never spent so much
money for a candy bar

- in my entire life.
- MAN (on P.A.): Flight

- to New York is now boarding...
- Oop, that's your flight.

Uh, look, I'm gonna
call you every day.

SARAH: I can't do this. I can't

- go back.
- Yeah, I know.

This is hard, but you have
to, just for a little while.

Oh, my God, look at you two.

This is crazy. You're family.

Family should stick together.

If you're gonna
have a custody fight,

I think you should
fight it from here.

I don't know. We'd
be risking everything.

Well, risk it, damn
it. She's worth it.

Yeah, damn it, I'm worth it.

(laughs)

Yeah, damn it, you are worth it.

Don't ever use the
word "damn it" again.

(Megan laughs)

Oh.

(door opens)

Amanda, good. Finally.

Well, I had to make a
stop before I came here.

I guess I should
have called first.

I was beginning to think that
you changed your mind again.

Oh, quite the opposite.

And I happened to
bring along another check

for the entire sum
of my investment.

And some champagne
to celebrate our new club.

I guess this means it's
really gonna happen, huh?

I guess so.

Congratulations, partner.

You know what? What do you say

we keep this professional,
and we just shake hands?

Kyle, if you're still feeling
weird about that kiss thing

- last night...
- No. No weirdness at all.

I mean, we're business
partners, nothing more, so,

let's skip the bubbly,
get our club built.

(door opening)

Hey. What are you doing here?

Uh...

Um, those things I said...

I-I don't know where
all that came from.

Yeah, I never should have
said the things I said, either.

- I'm sorry.
- Me, too. I'm...

I'm sorry for every
fight that we ever had.

But fight... couples fight.

Yeah, about the small things,

but for you and me, it
was always the big things.

Somewhere along
the line, I lost you.

You lost the fantasy of
who you wanted me to be.

- Ah.
- Someone I could never be.

And I-I don't do well
during bad times.

(laughs)

And there were
plenty of those, right?

Burning down the house, rehab.

The baby.

Right now.

Uh, yeah.

I'm selling my half
of the club to Eve

to give you the money.

Oh, you don't have to do that.

For your half of
the beach house.

I want to finish it this time.

(Amanda sighs)

You'll be happy there.

Yeah.

AMANDA: I hope you don't

- hate me.
- No, I don't.

I thought I would, but I don't.

I just feel empty.

Yeah.

And a little relieved.

- I mean... I mean...
- AMANDA: I...

I know what you mean.

(sighs)

It's funny.

This is where it
all started, right?

Right here in this room.

You giving me the
money for my dream.

(Amanda laughs)

And this is where it ends,
with me giving it back.

Forgive me.

Yeah.

Hey.

Please forgive me.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

(Amanda sighs)
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