07x06 - One Producer Too Many

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Mary Tyler Moore Show". Aired: September 19, 1970 – March 19, 1977.*
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Mary is a thirty-something single woman who settles in Minneapolis after breaking up with a boyfriend.
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07x06 - One Producer Too Many

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Who can turn the
world on with her smile ♪

♪ Who can take a nothing day ♪

♪ And suddenly make
it all seem worthwhile ♪

♪ Well, it's you, girl
and you should know it ♪

♪ With each glance and every
little movement you show it ♪

♪ Love is all around
No need to waste it ♪

♪ You can have the town
Why don't you take it ♪

♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪

♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪♪

Hi, wage slaves. Hi. Hi.

Mary, I just discovered the most
exquisite little Italian restaurant...

right around the corner.

All the waiters are from Italy.

Before I even got to my table,
I was pinched black and blue.

Well, I'm glad to see
you found a restaurant...

with the kind of
service you like.

Say, Sue Ann, do you have any
idea who Murray is seeing for lunch?

He left here all dressed up.

Ted, what Murray does on his
lunch hour is none of your concern.

Mary's right, dear.

Why should I care if he
wants to spend his lunch hour...

locked in the arms of
some voluptuous wench,

whispering, "I need
you. I want you. I must"...

- Sue Ann!
- Don't stop her. She may
be wrong, but I love it.

Hiya, g*ng. Is Lou in? Hi. Yeah.

Ah, you old son of
a g*n. How'd it go?

- How did what go?
- Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho!

Ted has this really silly
idea that you're carrying on...

with some cheap floozy.

And you promised you
wouldn't tell, darling.

Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

Come in.

Uh, have a cigar, Lou.

What's the occasion?

Well, my father always told me, if you
have to break bad news to somebody,

sometimes a cigar makes
it seem a little easier.

- That's a pretty big cigar.
- Yeah, well, I got
a pretty big problem.

Lay it on me, Murray.

Whatever it is, I'm
sure I can solve it.

Okay. Uh, I just had lunch with
the station manager at WKR.

Uh-huh. He offered me a
job as producer of the news.

- I don't see how
I can turn him down, Lou.
- Producer of the news?

Yeah. That's terrific.

I'm really happy for you,
Murray. Thanks, Lou. Thanks.

Oh! Boy.

It comes as kind
of a shock though.

I mean, we're sure gonna
miss you around here.

I've... I've worked with
a lot of news writers...

in my time,

and you're the
best... The very best.

This place sure won't
be the same without you.

Are you sure you wanna
leave? I'm afraid so, Lou.

Okay. The hell with
sentiment. Let's try money.

Lou, it's got nothing
to do with money.

It's a step up. Producing is
something I've always wanted to do.

I see.

Well, I don't know
what we can do to...

Wait a second. How about
I make you coproducer?

Coproducer? Would you stay then?

- Well, gee. Sure I would, Lou, but...
- Okay, you got it.

But that's impossible.
Mary is the producer.

Don't you think you
should talk to her?

Don't worry about
Mary. She'll be delighted.

You think so? Of course.

Murray, you're her favorite
person in the whole world.

Besides, she's been complaining
about being overworked lately.

Really? Yeah, this'll take
a lot of the pressure off her.

Terrific! Believe me,
she'll love the idea.

In fact, I'm gonna
take her out to dinner

tonight and spring the
good news on her then.

That's great, Lou.
Hey, thanks a lot.

Oh, don't be silly.
Go on. Go on.

Uh, Mary? Can you
come in here for a second?

Yes?

Mary, can you have dinner with me tonight?
I'd like to talk something over with you.

Dinner? Yeah, sure.
What'd you wanna talk over?

Oh, there's plenty of time
for that. First, have a cigar.

♪♪

Thank you.

I don't know what it
is you wanted to talk to

me about, but I have
a feeling it's important.

You have never taken me
to such an elegant restaurant.

Relax, Mary.

I told you I'll tell you
when the time is right.

Now I want to make
a toast. A toast?

Mm-hmm. To Mary Richards.

Kind, generous,

understanding Mary Richards,

who always says, "There's
nothing I won't do for a friend."

When did I say that? What?

- "There's nothing
I won't do for a friend."
- Just now. Cheers.

Mr. Grant, come on.
What's this all about?

Later, Mary, when
the time is right.

Now, what do you
feel like eating?

Well, I don't know. I
am starved. Mm-hmm.

I don't believe
this. What's wrong?

These prices. Lamb chops, $16.

Steak Diane, 20?

Don't worry. We'll get even
later. We'll steal some silverware.

Just have whatever
you'd like. Are you sure?

Suppose I order steak Diane? It's
the most expensive thing on the menu.

- Be my guest.
- Are you ready to order?

Uh, yes. I'll have
the steak Diane.

Murray's quitting.

- What?
- Yeah. He told me today.

Oh, no. Mm-hmm.

- Uh, have you decided?
- Oh... No. I'm not hungry.

Good. Two coffees.

Yes, sir.

Mr. Grant, that's
terrible. Yeah, I know.

I'm sorry I had to tell you now,

but I figured the
time was right.

I don't understand.
Why is he quitting?

Well, he was offered a chance
to produce the news at WKR.

Produce? Mmm.

Oh, that's great. Uh-huh.

- I think he'll make
a wonderful producer.
- You do?

Yeah. I just wish we didn't have
to lose him. Yeah. Yeah, I know.

If only... If only there was
something we could do...

to keep old Murr from quitting.

What about if you offer him more
money? No good. I've already asked.

That's too bad.
But keep thinking.

There must be
something we can do.

Wait a minute!

What if... Nah. Nah, forget it.

What is it? Mr. Grant,
what? No, we couldn't.

Nah. It's just a dumb idea. I can't
even tell you. That's how dumb it is.

Oh, Mr. Grant,
please. What is it?

Well, I thought...

maybe we could
get old Murr to stay...

if we made him coproducer.

You know, you and him
coproducing the news?

You're right.
That's a dumb idea.

It's not that dumb.
Really dumb, yes.

Mr. Grant, don't
misunderstand me. I love Murray.

It's just that producing the news
at WJM doesn't require two people.

Quite frankly, Mr. Grant,
it's not fair to me.

You know how hard I
worked to become producer.

I know. I know.

Like I said, it was a dumb idea.

There's only one
little problem though.

I already told him I'd
make him coproducer.

What?

So that's what
this was all about.

Boy, you really think
you're cute, don't you?

Cute, cuddly, irresistible.

Always get your
way no matter what.

Well, you wanna know what
you really are? You're devious!

You're devious and underhanded!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I-I didn't know what to do.

I... I don't want
to lose Murray.

Not after all the years
we spent together.

I mean, I love him. I really do.

I just had to find some
way of holding on to him.

Well, you're just gonna have to
tell Murray it's not gonna work out.

Mary, how can I do that
without breaking his heart?

I don't know.
That's your problem.

Don't listen to her. You're
much better off with Murray.

Good morning, dear. Oh, hi.

Mary, I was lying in bed
last night, and I couldn't sleep,

and I got the most
wonderful idea.

So I went right home
and wrote it down.

What was the idea, Sue Ann?

Well, I thought maybe once
a week on your news show,

I might do a restaurant review.

You know, I could tell people
the specialties of the house,

the prices, maybe get a
chef to divulge a secret or two.

Each week, I could go
to a different restaurant.

One week at an Italian,
then next week a German,

then a Chinese and a Hungarian.

What's up, Sue Ann? You
taking a room at the U.N.?

You know, Sue Ann,
that's not a bad idea.

- Let me think about it,
and I'll get back to you.
- Oh, bless you, Mary.

Oh, Murray. You're so lucky.

Other men get dandruff.
You get waxy, yellow buildup.

So, uh, good morning.

Good morning, Murray.

Did you, uh, speak with Lou?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Mary, I can't tell you
how grateful I am...

for what you've
done for me. Well...

I don't know, if things were turned
around, if I could be as unselfish as you.

Oh, I...

I mean, I really
appreciate it, Mary.

I want you to know that I think
we're gonna be terrific together.

Well, Murr, Mr. Grant
should be in any minute now.

I want to thank Lou too.

You should have heard Marie
last night when I told her the news.

I don't think I've ever
seen her so happy!

Murr, there's just
so much work to do.

You're right, and I'm gonna help you
with it. We are going to do it together.

Mr. Grant, you're here.

Oh. Hey, Lou.

I was just telling Mary how
grateful I am for what you've done.

Well, you know,
making me coproducer.

Thanks, Lou. Oh,
yeah. Listen, Murray.

There's, uh, something
I have to tell you.

Oh? Yeah.

Mr. Grant, do you think you
could possibly do this in your office?

No.

Out here will be fine.

Murray, what I have
to say isn't exactly easy.

Could you tell him later? The man's
working right now, for crying out loud.

What is it, Lou?

Murray, when I suggested to
Mary that you coproduce the news,

she said something...
All right. All right.

Mr. Grant, I will
tell Murray myself.

Last night, when Mr. Grant suggested
that you and I coproduce the news,

I leveled with him... I
told him exactly how I feel.

Oh? And, uh, what did you say?

I said I thought it was the
best damn idea he's ever had.

Murr, what do you
wanna do with this story

on the attempted
assassination in Venezuela?

What did you wanna do with it?

I thought we'd open with a
film clip, go to commercial,

and then lead with the
story when we come back.

Yeah, that's good too. What
do you mean, "That's good too"?

Oh, I mean, that's fine.
Let's just do it your way.

No. You said, "That's good too."

That must mean you have
another idea. What is it?

Well yeah. I was thinking
we could put it with that story...

on... on the student
riots in Bolivia.

You know, do a whole thing on the
general unrest in South America today.

Yeah, that's interesting. Actually, I
wasn't even gonna do the Bolivian story.

I mean, it was a pretty small
riot, as riots go down there.

Sure, we'll do it
that way. That's fine.

No, no, Mar. Why don't you just
put it up front, like you wanted to?

- If you think that's best.
- Oh.

Congratulations, Murray.

I just heard the good news, so
I thought I'd bake a little cake...

for the two new coproducers.

Oh, Sue Ann,
that's just so typical.

Isn't that a wedding cake?

Uh, yes.

Actually, it was to be for my cameraman
and his fiancée, but they broke up.

That's too bad. He got angry when
she showed up at his stag party...

In one of the films.

Mary, have you had a chance to make a
decision on what I mentioned to you before?

Oh, yes. I wanted to talk
that over with you, Murray.

Sue Ann thought we might do a
dining-out segment on the news.

You know, where she'd review
a different restaurant each week.

What do you think? Gee, I
don't know. What do you think?

Oh, Murr, please.

All right, I'll tell you
what. We'll flip a

coin, and whoever wins
will make this decision.

- What do you want,
heads or tails?
- What do you want?

Okay! Okay. Sue Ann, I think it's a
great idea. We'll try it out next week.

Oh, bless you, Mary. And
it's going to be just terrific.

You'll see. We'll do
wonders for your ratings.

What was that all about?

Sue Ann's gonna do a
dining-out segment on the news.


On my news?

Ted, it's just a small
segment once a week.

You don't fool me, Mary. I
can see what's happening.

Put a chick on the news and gradually
give her a bigger and bigger spot.

Before I know it, you've got her taking
over my job, and I'm out on my ear.

- Oh, Ted.
- It's all part of the plan,
isn't it?

The plan?

The master plan.

- The master plan?
- Oh, sure, Murray.

It's not just my
job they're after.

Don't you know what they
really want, all these chicks?

They want to take over
the world. Oh, come on.

It's no joke, Murray. They want to
take over the world, I'm telling you.

There's a secret organization
that every chick on Earth belongs to.

They're playing it cool,
but they're not fooling me.

Do you ever notice whenever they go
to the bathroom, they never go alone?

They always ask another
chick to go with them.

That's where they
hold their meetings.

And have you noticed they're
always asking for quarters? Dues.

Dues?

Oh, Mary, don't deny
it. I know what I know!

Tried to listen in on one of their
meetings once. Had my ear to the door.

Oh, but they're clever. They
won't let you hear anything.

They keep flushing.

Shame on you, Mary.

Yes. Well, I guess the jig's up.

All right. Who blew it? Whose
fault is it? What's wrong?

What's wrong? One of my genius
coproducers was supposed to send film...

on that water pollution
story to Editing,

and now we won't have
it for the show in time.

That means that for
three extra minutes,

we're going to be looking
at Ted Baxter when

we could have been
looking at raw sewage!

Hey, let's face it, Lou. This
is my first day as coproducer.

Obviously, this is a
monumental screwup,

and it's gotta be my fault.

No, no, Murr. Come on. Look. I've been
producing for a lot longer than you have.

I should have seen to it
that it was taken care of.

If anyone deserves the
blame, I do. It was my fault.

Maybe you're right.

Mr. Grant. I would like very
much to talk to you about Murray.

Through no fault of my own, I seem to
find myself in a very difficult situation.

Look, uh, I have a meeting.

Tell you what. Why don't I
come to your place tonight?

Okay, fine. What time?
How about dinnertime?

Dinnertime? Aw, don't worry.
You won't have to lift a finger.

I'll bring dinner.

Lou! Lou, did you hear?

Mary wants Sue Ann to do a
dining-out segment on my show!

Yeah? I think that's a
terrific idea. Well, so do I.

Hi. Hi. Wait till you
see what I got for you.

You've never seen anything
like this in your whole life.

- A raw duck?
- Yeah. Roast duckling for two.

- You said you'd bring dinner.
- I did.

You said I wouldn't
have to lift a finger.

That's up to you, Mary. You want to
eat raw duck, or you want to lift a finger?

Mr. Grant, the point was
not for me to cook tonight.

The point was for
us to discuss Murray.

I know. I know.

But when I saw this ducky in
the window, I just couldn't resist it.

Incidentally, I
don't like it too crisp.

- I'm not cooking that duck.
- Well, that may not
be crisp enough.

- Mr. Grant!
- Okay, okay. What did you
want to talk about?

Murray. Mmm.

Coproducing just
isn't working out.

You're gonna have
to do something.

I know. I know.

But what am I gonna
do? Fire Murray? Fire you?

I'm in a corner, Mary. I
don't see any way out.

Well, as it happens,
there is a way out.

The station manager
at WKR called me today,

and he offered me the same
producing job that Murray turned down.

So I think, you know, it might
be better for everyone if I take it.

I don't... I don't know
what to say, Mary.

The idea of your leaving
WJM is such a shock.

I just think it's the
only thing to do.

Well, I'm sure gonna miss you.

I... I've worked with a
lot of news producers,

and... you're the best.

The very best.

The old newsroom just isn't
gonna be the same without you.

Are you sure you wanna leave?

Well, maybe Murray and I
can work something out. I...

Sometimes it works.
Sometimes it doesn't.

Have you noticed how all of a sudden
we're starting to click together as a team?

Yeah, really... clicking.

I mean, take today.

You wanted to close with Sue Ann's
promo on the dining-out segment.

But your idea was better. Closing
with the story on rising corn prices.

No problem. I bowed
to your judgment.

Well, no, Murr. Actually, I
bowed to your judgment.

Well, no, Mar.
Didn't I tell you?

I told Ted to close with
the copy for Sue Ann.

Oh, my God!

What's wrong? I told the projectionist
it was the other way around.

Oh, my God!

And now continuing
with the news,

local pig farmers served notice
today that rising corn prices...

are forcing them to find
other means to feed their stock.

Many of them are already
resorting to substitute diets...

of slop and garbage.

Here's one pig that doesn't
seem to know the difference.

Just look at her
gobble up that slop.

Oh, well. Pigs will be pigs.

Well, that's the
news for tonight.

Starting tomorrow, we'll be
presenting a new feature on WJM...

"Dining Out with
Sue Ann Nivens."

Here's Sue Ann now in one
of her favorite eating places.

When it comes to food,
we all know that Sue Ann...

is very hard to please.

But Chef Antonio seems
to be doing quite well.

Tune in tomorrow night, and Sue
Ann will share some of the recipes...

for those delicacies.

Oh, my God!

All right! This has
gone far enough!

I've put up with
this long enough!

Two producers for one
news show just doesn't work!

We can only have one producer, and
that means we gotta work something out!

Oh.

I know what's supposed
to happen here.

Sure, nice guy Murray's
supposed to step down...

and make everything
easy for everybody.

Sure, I'm supposed to
say, "Hey, Lou. It's okay.

I'll go back to being a news
writer. Don't worry about it."

Well, I'm not gonna do it.

I'm not gonna make
it easy for you, Lou.

I see.

And I see too.

I know what don't-make-waves
Mary is supposed to do here.

I'm supposed to say, "Gosh,
Murr, if it's that important for you,

I'll step down and
you take the job."

I'm not gonna do that.
I didn't work hard for

seven years to get
here and then give it up.

Hey.

Listen.

I've known a lot of
coproducers in my time,

and you two... are the best.

The very best. Oh,
will you knock it off?

All right. All right.

I know what I'm
supposed to do here too.

I'm supposed to
size up the situation...

and then come up with
a logical and fair solution.

Well, I got news for
you. There is none.

As I see it, there are
only two ways out.

Either Mary is sole producer and
Murray goes back to being news writer,

or Murray is sole producer and Mary
goes back to being associate producer.

Either way, it's unfair.

Murray gave up a
chance to produce at WKR.

Mary's done a wonderful
job here at WJM.

But I'm just gonna have to
make an arbitrary choice...

as to how it's
going to be, okay?

Okay. Okay.

All right.

This is how I decide.

- Mary.
- Thank you.

Murray is producer. You're
back to associate producer.

- Mr. Grant.
- I'm sorry, Mary. I had to do something.

Hey, wait a second, Lou.

Look, I thought this
was what I wanted,

but it isn't.

I don't want to become
producer this way.

I'll go back to being a writer.

I loved being a
writer. Oh, Murray, I...

Okay, Mary, look. This is
the first decision I've made.

Don't try to change my mind.

Are you sure?

I'm positive.

Hey, producer, uh,

how about you buying me a drink?

Sometimes it works.

Sometimes it doesn't.
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