07x15 - Say Goodnight, Gracie

[bunniefuu]

[Tim] Oh, honey, this
is gonna be a great day!

The steering column
showed up for the hot rod.

I'll pop open the champagne.

Am I ever gonna experience a wife
who savors the thrill of a new auto part?

Not till you re-marry.

- Hi.
- Hi, Marty. How are you doing?

- [Tim] Marty.
- You got the steering column!

We install this today, maybe
get to the turning indicators.

Great. Before we start,
can I ask you guys a favor?

- Sure. What's up?
- It's our anniversary
next week.

Nancy and I want to
weekend at Houghton Lake.

Oh, it's so romantic there.

Oh, especially this time of
year. Mmm, Houghton Lake.

Walking hand-in-hand across
a frozen lake, below zero.

Wind chill, below zero.

You can just admire
each other's snot-sicles.

Could you get any
grosser, do you think?

- Give me some time.
- [Jill] All right.

Mom said she'd baby-sit the twins.
But both of them's a little much.

- Could you take Gracie?
- Absolutely!

Great, we love
having the girls here.

- Hi, Uncle Marty.
- Hey, Mark.

I'm going to the
mall. I'll be back soon.

OK, honey.

Tim?

Is Mark wearing black lipstick?

It goes with everything.

Look at all this cool stuff I
borrowed for my play time with Gracie.

Look at all the cool stuff I
got for my play time with Brad.

We're gonna put the gauges
in the dash panels today.

- Oh.
- Well, Auto Boy,
ready to do some work?

Something came up. I talked to Samantha,
I'm gonna go meet her at the mall.

What about the dash panels?

Well, let me see,

a beautiful blonde goddess
who loves me, or dash panels?

And gauges.

Adios.

What's that all about?

He promised to help work
on the car, and he bails?

Oh, Tim, when you were his
age, which did you want to be with?

A girl, or...

Oh, never mind.

- [Brad] Hey, Gracie.
- Just in time. How are you doing, man?

Here she is. Here's the guest
of honor and some of her stuff.

Hey, sweetie. Ready to spend the
weekend with me and Uncle Tim?

[funny sounds]

- I think so.
- [Jill laughs]

OK, here's her stuff.

- Here's emergency numbers.
- OK.

- Here's the rundown. No candy.
- No candy.

No soft drinks. No bedtime
stories until she's brushed her teeth.

- Honey, are you getting this?
- I got it.

And don't let her watch
any more Tool Time.

It gives her nightmares.

Me, too.

Nap between : and : ,

don't let her sleep
more than two hours

- or she'll keep you up.
- I got it under control.

I've got all these fun
activities planned for us.

We're gonna have a
tea party, play dress-up.

Dress-up? That'll be so much fun

'cause I've got this darling
off-the-shoulder number to die for.

- Have a great time
up at the lake.
- OK, thanks.

OK, honey.

I'll see you in two sleeps.

Be a good girl for your
Aunt Tim and Uncle Jill.

I think he means
Uncle Tim and Aunt Jill.

Oh, right. I was thinking
of you playing dress-up.

These suitcases are so heavy.
Do you have rocks in here?

- Yes.
- [Jill laughs]

- I'll take her stuff upstairs.
- [Jill] OK.

So, do you want to introduce
me to your animal friends?

No. They're shy.

That explains why
they're so quiet.

- [telephone rings] - Excuse
me, honey... just a second.

- [phone beeps]
- Hello? Oh, hi, Dr. Ashley.

Yes. Actually, I did
sort of have plans.

Yeah. Well, OK. I'll
see what I can do.

All right. Bye. Tim!

[imitates Jill] Jill!

[sighs] One of the
therapists didn't show up

for her group at : .

- Can you cover for me?
- I've never done
therapy before.

But how hard can it be?

I mean, can you cover
for me with Gracie?

- By myself?
- Tim, you raised
three kids.

I raised three boys. This is a
girl. I don't know about girls.

Everything is the same as with
boys. You read to them. You feed them.

- Is she potty trained?
- She's four years old.

Well, Marty wasn't potty
trained until he was, like, nine.

And I still think he's
wearing something at night.

[Jill] Thank you.

[Tim in deep voice] No. Leave the girl
alone. Give me my bamboo. My bamboo.

Oh, Mr. Panda, thank you so much

from saving me from Mr. Monkey.

Oh, don't thank
me. Thank Mr. Tiger.

That's Mr. Lion Cub.

Sorry. I've never
been a lion cub before.

Well, I have.

You know, I gotta tell
you, it's a tough gig.

Everyone expects you to be king.

- Hi, Randy.
- Hi, Gracie.

Cousin Randy, you
play with Cousin Gracie,

so Uncle Tim can go
play with Mr. Hot Rod?

Well, uh, Cousin
Randy would love to,

but I gotta spend a couple hours
with Uncle Chemistry and Aunt Algebra.

- See you later.
- OK.

What do you want
to do now, Uncle Tim?

Hmm. Hey, I got an idea!

Why don't we ask Mr. Gorilla
what he wants to do?

OK.

No! Really?

- Mr. Gorilla wants
to play hot rod.
- He does?

Tell her. [gruff voice]
Love the hot rod.

[grunting] Love the hot rod.

Now, this is what Uncle
Tim likes to play with.

- Cool.
- That's right. ' Ford convertible.

- Wow!
- Wow is right.

I've got it lowered,
independent rear suspension.

Motor City Flathead in
Ypsilanti built me the motor.

- Neat!
- [laughs] Yeah! Look at this.

It's a convertible. So we can
sit in here. It might start to rain.

I suppose a girl like you
would like to put the top up?

- Yeah.
- This button right here,
flip it up.

[motor whirring]

[laughs] Hey, now I got an idea!

You and Mr. Gorilla go by
the workbench, hand me tools,

I'll finish the dash panel?

- Let me ask Mr. Gorilla.
- Don't.

[whispering sounds] He
wants to have a tea party.

I'll be the princess
and you be the queen.

You want me to be the queen?

OK...

but if I take you to the hardware
store, this never happened, OK?

Here's your crown.

My crown, huh?

[female British accent]
All right, Princess Gracie,

we'll have ourselves
a spot of tea.

It's very hot. Now,
don't burn yourself.

After our tea, maybe we'll take the
Corgis out for a walk and a wee-wee.

Princess Gracie, is there something
you'd like to eat with your tea?

- A cookie.
- You want a cookie?

We only have muffins.
Hold on a minute.

Squire, the good
princess wants a cookie!

Now, what would Her
Royal Figidness like to have?

How about a lobotomy?

Well, look who's here.
It's the village idiot.

Off with his head! Now go!
Run! Get his head! Go! Go!

Run!

"'Rabbit, let's bounce together.'
Rabbit couldn't believe his ears.

'Me, bounce?' he said.

'Well, sure, ' said Tigger.
'You got the feet for it.'"

I wouldn't call those "feet." I
would've called those "gunboats."

Those are big feet. No
wonder he can bounce them.

I mean, these feet are
gigantic. These are...

Looks like somebody
else lost their bounce, huh?

[whispers] Let's lie down.

[chuckling]

Tim?

Where are you?

Tim?

Oh, adorable...

[loud snore]

Was I drooling?

[whispers] No. You just fell asleep
with Gracie. She looks so sweet.

[Tim groans] Well,
she may look sweet,

but don't play
Candyland with her.

She marks her cards.

- [Tim groans]
- So, how'd it go?

Well, we had a tea party, played with
the stuffed animals, read some books.

It was one of the best
afternoons of my life.

- Oh, yeah, right.
- I'm serious.

She's really cool, you know?

She's different than the boys. They want
to roughhouse. She has stories to tell.

She even liked my Queen Mum.

[laughs]

I'm glad you had a
good afternoon together.

- We had a great afternoon.
- All right.

I started thinking about what we
missed by not having a daughter.

This from the man who used a magnifying
glass on every one of my sonograms,

praying for a prenatal winkie?

Well, that was then,
you know. This is now.

It just took me a little while to
figure out how cool little girls were.

- I like this new side of you.
- Yeah?

- Yeah, it's sweet.
- Really?

- Yeah. It's kinda sexy.
- Hold that thought.

- There's something
I've been thinking.
- Mmm, yeah?

Let's have a daughter.

[laughing] Excuse me. Did you...

[clears throat] Did
you say "daughter?"

I say let's be open
to the possibility.

There is no possibility.
You had a vasectomy.

They can be reversed.

Or better yet,

what if we had sex every day?

[Jill laughs]

If we had sex every day,

then maybe one of my little guys who's
been hiding is ready to make his move.

Tim, you obviously
haven't thought this through.

- I want us to think it through.
- OK. OK, we will. All right.

- Suppose one of these guys...
- Let's call him, uh, "Bob."

What is gonna
guarantee that "Bob"

- [whispering] is gonna get us a girl?
- Bob won't let us down.

Bob let us down three times!

That wasn't Bob. That was Steve.

And... And if we want to make
sure, we... we could adopt.

Tim... Tim, just
listen to yourself.

You spend one afternoon with a niece
and all of a sudden you want a baby?

- Because I thought
it would be fun.
- Fun?

- [scoffs]
- Fun, we'd build
a room to keep her.

Think.

This is a child, not a Corvette.

Yeah. But I wouldn't love
her any less, I tell you that.

All those years ago when we
decided not to have any other children,

I re-routed my whole life.
You know, I have a career now.

- Maybe we can work
around that.
- Honey...

a child is a lifelong
commitment.

I don't want to
work around a child.

Are you shutting
the door on this?

I think it is so great...

that you're having
all these feelings.

I just don't really
want another child.

I think if you think about it for a
while, you're gonna feel the same way.

Well, I can speak for me,
but I can't speak for Bob.

Welcome back to Hobby Week.

Yesterday we showed you how to build
this doll house I built for my nieces.

And today the
focus is on furniture.

That's right. And to build tiny
furniture, you need a tiny tool.

[snorts] Who knows
more about a tiny tool?

Tim.

Well, I used a Binford
miniature scroll saw

to cut the pieces
for my little table.

We modeled it in
the Chippendale style.

Actually, at this size, it would
be perfect for Chip 'n' Dale.

[chittering]

Well, Heidi and I used the
Binford miniature lathe

to shape the post
for our canopy bed.

When using small tools, it's a
great idea to use magnifying glasses

so you can see
what you're doing.

I can actually see the
cameraman's brain from here.

While these guys
finish the posts,

I'm gonna use more
glue on my table top here.

Now, the great thing
about these microtools

is that they allow you to shape
your posts almost effortlessly.

All right, Heidi, why
don't you finish that up

while we, uh, check in with Tim.

- Tim, you OK?
- Mm-hmm. Yes.

- Where's
the dining-room table?
- Here.

All right. Now... Well, let go.

Wait. What happened
to all those chairs?

We'll be right back after
these words from Binford.

Hey, guys.

Did, um, any of you
see Tool Time today?

Unfortunately, yes.

Dad's lost it.

Yeah, it was his second
girlie Tool Time in a row.

What's next, a Pantyhose Week?

Or a "Salute to
Feminine Hygiene"?

I don't know about
you, but I stop watching

the day Dad turns
to Al and says,

"Do you feel fresh?"

- Hi, everybody.
- [Jill] Hi.

Hey, Dad. So, how
many more shows

are you planning
on doing about dolls?

Oh, two.

Doll Patio Furniture and The
Best of Hot Rod Barbie, huh?

Guys, guys, just go
wash up for dinner.

What's with them?

I can't believe
you're still on this.

You know, you gotta get a grip.
You're obsessed with this daughter stuff.

You know, that's what the
lady at the adoption agency said.

I should be open to a boy.

But then I explained about the
boys we have, she understood.

You went to an adoption agency?

No, no. I just called a few on my
lunch hour. I wouldn't do that without you.

Well, that's good because I don't
want to go to an adoption agency.

I don't want to
have another child.

If you need time to think,
take all the time you want.

OK... no.

And I want you to take
this "no" seriously this time.

If I took it seriously
every time you said no,

we wouldn't have any kids.

Is everything all
right over there?

Oh. Hey, Tim.
How's it going, bro?

Hi, Willow. What's
with the fire?

Uncle Wilson built this for
some sacred Hindu ritual.

But I'm using it to
dry my nail polish.

This color's called
Back to the Fuchsia.

When you little girls paint
your nails, you're so cute.

I'm and I got a fungus under my
thumbnail like you wouldn't believe.

You were probably
cute when you were little.

Yeah. But then there
was that awkward period

between three and twenty-five.

Speaking of periods,
I'm starting to bloat...

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Wilson!

[Wilson] Willow,
Vince is on the phone.

He wants to stop by after
he visits his parole officer.

- [Willow] Cool.
- Parole officer?

Well, this boyfriend's
better than the last one.

- At least he's out.
- [Tim laughs]

This is great, though. You get
to spend time with your niece.

I get to spend time with mine.

[sighs]

She's making me want
to have a daughter.

I thought in your case,
that was no longer an option.

Well, you can
reverse a vasectomy.

- Well, what about Jill?
- She's not reversible.

Are you serious about having
another child at this point in your life?

I don't know what's come
over me. I really don't.

Everything changed the
moment I spent time with Gracie.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Instead of wanting
to play G.I. Joes

and cap g*ns, I feel like
making cute things, you know?

We had a... [laughs]
We had a tea party.

[British accent] A tea
party, you say? Delightful!

[British accent] Quite,
quite. Yes, it was.

- I used to think boys
were the ticket!
- Right.

But, boy, Gracie's so different. She's
got such an imagination, you know?

She brought out the queen in me.

No, no, no, no... That's a whole
other direction right there. Whoa!

I don't know why this is.

You know, I spend a lot
of time with my nieces.

- Maybe it's because
they're older.
- Maybe it's you getting older.

You know, in the words
of Oliver Wendell Holmes,

"Men are like peaches and pears.

They grow sweet a little while
before they begin to decay."

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

So, you're saying I'll
get soggy before I rot.

No. I'm saying you're able to appreciate
a side of life you never could before.

But what about this idea
about me having a daughter?

Well, Tim, if you like
to build cute things

and you like to have tea parties, you
can always have them with your nieces.

Maybe you're right.

And that way I can avoid that
unpleasant diaper-changing phase.

- Zero to eight.
- [Wilson laughs]

- I want to talk
about something.
- I'm afraid to ask. What about?

I want to talk about what Sherlock
Wendell Holmes said, all right?

The reason men want daughters

is because they're
like rotten peaches.

I should just play
with my pears.

It would be better
for all concerned

if you didn't father
any more children.

I don't have to. When I
miss having a daughter,

I can spend time
with Gracie and Claire.

Well, that's a great idea!

When our kids
grow up, are married,

maybe they'll crank
out a couple chicks.

Well, I hope they do
some of that "cranking."

I sure would like to have
some granddaughters.

Grandparents have the best of all
worlds. They can play with the kid,

- when trouble starts...
- Pass that kid
right off to the parent

and bolt for the Early
Bird Special at the IHOP.

Well, we're a long way
from being grandparents.

I'm glad. Because it gives
me more time to play with you.

Oh, yeah. Big girls are fun.

[Jill] Mm-hmm.

What's that Bob doing tonight?

He's all tied up.

All right. The fuse panel's in
place. Marty, hand me the sockets.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

OK. Perfect.

OK, girls.

[grunts] I've tightened
down the fuse panel.

And now, how would
you guys like to watch

Uncle Tim and your dad
wire the car from scratch?

[both grunting]

We should also
ask this guy, though.

I am Buzz Lightyear.

No, I am Buzz Lightyear.

No, I am Buzz Lightyear.

No, I come in peace.

I come in peace.

No, I come in peace.