02x05 - The Feeble Fighters

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Kid Cosmic". Aired: February 2, 2021 –; February 3, 2022.*
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After finding five cosmic rings, an imaginative boy acquires superpowers.
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02x05 - The Feeble Fighters

Post by bunniefuu »

[Kid] Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[growls]

You humiliated
and defeated me in my house!

Now I’ve come to destroy yours!

Ha!

You’ll never get a chance to exact
your revenge, you vengeful revenger.

Local Heroes, charge!

Yahh!

-Ahh!
-[shatters]

Sorry, mi amor.

Está bien.

[kissing]

Agh!

Raaaa!

Ahh!

[laughs]

Cat att*ck! [meows]

Now, Krosh,
there’s no reason for anyone to get--

Okay, no reason for anyone else--

Stop with the punchin’,
and start with some lunchin’.

-[grunts]
-[shatters]

[grunts]

Hold still!

So we can get this over with.

I've got burgers to flip!

-Wahh!
-[thuds]

[laughs]

[rustling]

Kro…

Agh!

No, no, no!

[Kid] Sorry.

You’d be so dead
if I had my telekinitis stone.

[sighs] All right, huddle up, heroes.

Sorry!

No! Brakes!

Now I’ve brought Krosh here as
a sparring partner to help you all train.

And we’re pleased as a pickle to have her.

It’s the least I could do
after Jo helped me outta my hole.

Literally, I’d been trapped
in that fight hole my whole life.

Jo made me realize
that finally losing the fight

could be the greatest win of all.

-Whaa! [grunts]
-[laughs]

Way to go, Krosh!

Let’s hear it for not fighting! Hip, Hip…

-Hooray!
-Whoo-hoo!

Guys! [grunts]

Love the enthusiasm and good cheer,

but the reason Krosh is here
is to literally teach us to fight.

Not to not fight!

Let’s hear it for not fighting!

Woo-hoo!

No! Yes, fighting!

Guys, please, I really need you to focus,
listen, and take Krosh seriously.

Yeah, guys, quiet down!
I want to learn this stuff.

Well, I learned a lot going up
against her in the hole,

and you all can too. Krosh?

Listen up!

You wanna be heroes?

-Yes!
-Ja!

[Krosh] You wanna stop Erodious?

-Yes!
-Ja!

You wanna save the galaxy?

-Yes!
-Ja!

Yes!

Then you gotta do whatever it takes

to protect this cookie!

-Ow!
-[m*llitary music playing]

[thudding]

Good gracious!

[blares]

[Krosh] The cookie is Earth,

and the Local Heroes must protect it

from the Planet k*ller itself,

Erodious!

Raaaa!

You’re mine, cookie!

That’s no cookie. It’s planet Earth!

And you won’t taste a morsel of it
as long as we’re here, Erodious!

That’s the spirit!

Eh, excuse me, Jo, but…

we are not comfortable
with this training exercise.

You’re asking us to att*ck
our little girl!

Yes, but remember,
Rosa’s got the pain absorption ring on.

She’s not gonna feel a thing.

I’m tough! No boo-boos!

You see?

So no holding back.
Give it all you got, team!

Be fierce! Be cutthroat!

Be mean!

-Raaaa!
-[blares]

[all] Yeah!

[Rosa] Raahhh!

I’m gonna eat you, cookie!

Kid, Hamburg, goo att*ck!

[Kid and Hamburg] Yahh!

Wooo! Get 'em, guys!

You can do this!

Can they?

Go, go, go, take risks!
Don't let anyone stand in your way!

Do whatever it takes at any cost,
and win, win, win!

Splat att*ck!

[grunts]

Carla! Tuna! Rocket att*ck!

Let's do it! Rahh!

Rahh!

Yes! Yes!

No!

[Tuna] I should've seen that coming.

Well, at least she's consistent.

[Carla grunts]

Carlos! Ramo--

[Rosa] Raaa!

I'm coming for you, cookie!

-Way to go, mi hijita!
-[Ramona] Catch that mean old planet!

Papa G! Swarm att*ck!

[action music playing]

Go, go, go!

Rahhh! Rahhh! Rahhh!

-Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle,…
-[laughing]

[Rosa] Earth is mine!

-We’re so proud of you, mija!
-Muy bien, Rosa!

You earned that cookie planet!

Whoo!

What are you doing?

Why are you cheering
for the destruction of the Earth?

You all just totally failed!

[speaking altogether]

So sorry.

Sorry doesn't cut it!

We’re just gonna do it again and again
and again until you get it right!

Rosa, no! Stop!

No fooling around!
We've gotta keep training!

There is nothing more important!

[Flo] Yes, there is!

The refugees from the last planet
destroyed by Erodious are arriving.

I need all Local Heroes on deck to help

feed and resettle them!

Mom! We’re in the middle
of an important training exercise here.

Can’t you get someone to help?

Oh, I’m sure they don’t mind taking
a short break. Do you, team?

-Sure!
-That sounds fun!

[Papa G] Let’s do some resettling!

Mom, I mind them taking a break.

I’m having a hard time turning
the team into real fighters without

you undermining me.

Maybe you shouldn’t be trying

to turn the team
into something they’re not.

You’re right, Mom. No reason to fight.

We can save the galaxy by joining hands

and offering Erodious a warm helping
of Flo’s famous volgott pie.

Johanna, I know this isn’t you talking.

But you’re setting a fine example
for them to follow.

You keep acting like this, and the only
thing you’re going to turn your team

is against you.

Sorry, g*ng, I made a mistake.
You all just carry on with your training.

Nonsense! Helpin’s what heroes do!

Three cheers for helpin’!

-Hip, hip…
-Hooray!

-[Papa G] Hip, hip…
-Hooray!

-[Papa G] Hip, hip…
-Hooray!

Don’t worry. We’ll get back
to the training as soon as this is done!

Oh, Jo.

Your team is well-intentioned
and generous of spirit…

And completely unprepared
to face Erodious. I know.

Do not blame yourself.

They simply are not battle-tested
they way you and Krosh are.

We are on final approach to Mo’s Oasis,
Madame President.

Thank Grop.

Patch me through to the one
they call "Flo."

Hmm… better let me handle this,
Madame President.

There could be hostile forces
on this rock.

"Hostile"?
These aliens are our saviors, General.

They are giving our people a new home.

And what will they ask us in return?

We are putting ourselves into the hands
of aliens we know nothing about.

What if they enslave us?
What if they eat us?

What if they’re robots?

We need to be ready to strike first!

General, enough.

We will not meet the Great Flo
with weapons drawn.

That is my final word.

You’ll regret this!

Madame President,
we are T-minus two minutes

from landing on the surface of Mo’s Oasis.

Well, then,

I will go and greet Madame Flo in person.

Aha! Here they come.

[heroic music playing]

[whirring]

[speaking indistinctly]

Could you say that…

[loud, distorted] a little louder?

It’s a sonic att*ck!

What was that, Madame Flo?

[speaking indistinctly]

I--I’m sorry, I--I can’t understand
a word you’re saying,

but I bet you could use
some food and shelter.

We should house them some place
where they won’t get crushed.

[inhales, sneezes]

[thuds]

Or breathed on.

Way ahead of ya!

Here’s what we do…

Their entire civilization should fit
comfortably into room six.

And one Mo’s Planet Earth Special should
be enough to feed

their whole population for a month.

Jo’s old toys can be
set up for their cities.

The sink will make a nice seaside resort.

We’ll keep everything off the floor
so they don’t get stepped on.

And the armchair can be the seat
of their government.

Yay!

Yay!

And what do you have to say now, General?

Still think they're robots.

See, when they’re doing something
they want to do, they do great.

Hmm. It’s a shame they can’t
display this kind of skill

and coordination on the b*ttlefield.

[roars] It makes me so mad!

Why are they so good at helping
and so bad at hurting?

Because it’s not who they are.
It’s who you are.

[sighs] This would be so much easier
if it was just me and Krosh.

Now you’re starting to think
like a true leader.

I feel such pride for my protégé.

I am, as you humans say,

"all choked up."

[choking]

It’s a turn of phrase, Queen Xhan.
You don’t have to demonstrate it.

-[choking]
-Wait, are you okay?

What’s happening?

Ah! What do we do? What do we do?

-[thuds]
-[gasps] Xhan!

[Fantos laughing]

Oh no.

Who is it?

We’ll clobber ‘em together! [grunts]

[moans]


[grunting]

[Fantos] Ha! You’re nothing without
the Pain Absorption Stone!

Fantos!

[choking]

[Fantos] Yes! Fantos the Amassor,

and I am here for the Stones

of Pow… [groans]

Oh!

Gross, man!

I'm all sticky!

-[Jo grunts]
-Jo! Are you all right, honey?

Fan… [panting]

Dange… Ugh!

[Fantos] Ooh,
multiplication and precognition?

Yoink!

We’re under att*ck!

[Fantos laughs]

Where’s the bad guy?

It’s Fantos,
and he’s using the Invisibility Stone!

He wants our Rings of Power!
Hamburg! Throw me to the evil laughter.

[Fantos laughs]

[plops]

[thuds]

[thuds]

[Fantos] Got goo and multi-arms, awesome!

[Ramona] Careful!

Cuidado, protege a los pequeños.

I told you it was foolish to put our fate
in the hands of these aliens!

They are trying their best
to protect us, General!

[Fantos laughs]

Fire and ice? [gasps]

Cool!

-[General] Their best isn’t good enough!
-[screaming]

We need to leave
this Grop-forsaken place now!

Jo! You’re our leader.
What do you want us to do?

[Fantos gasps] The Superspeed Stone.

Hey! Gimme!

Okay, everyone! New plan!

We split up!

"Split up"?

Krosh and I will use what power
we've left to fight Fantos.

The rest of you get
the refugees to safety.

Defense team,
let’s get the refugees to room seven!

[aliens screaming]

Rosa, trade you a cookie
for the Pain Absorption Ring.

Okay.

[Krosh] Yes!

Krosh is back!

[grunting]

The champ returns!

I think I’d better take
the Growth Ring too.

I’ll go help the tiny aliens!

[Fantos] Gotcha! Give me that!

Whoa-oa-oa!

Hey, Fantos! We got the rest of the rings.

Come and get ‘em!

[Fantos grunts]

Ahh!

Come back here, cowards!

Ah! Gross!

W--wait! I thought I had the Goo Stone.

Is this the Kid?

Ah, it's in my mouth!

It’s maple syrup, you creep!

And bringing down the thunder,

the unconquerable Krosh!

Ah!

[grunts]

[shatters]

[grunts]

But you hate me. Why would you--

'Cause I'm a nice person! Now come on!

[Kid] Oh man,

Krosh is an awesome fighter.

I just wish I could be out there too.

Come on, Jo,

get the stones back
so I can get in on the action!

[Jo] I’ll take that!

So nice to see you again.

Oh no, you don’t!

Yes, I do!

[strains]

Jo! Switch!

[heroic music playing]

[grunts]

Yes! Now that’s teamwork!

[Fantos] Oh, are you guys a team now?

Well, so am I.

Looks like my big mouth
has got me in trouble.

But my bigger mouth will get me out of it!

Raaa!

I taught her that.

[grunts nervously]

[grunts]

Krosh!

[thuds]

[gasping]

Jo!

I suppose some sort of supervillain
taunt is called for here, but…

I guess I’d rather start b*ating you up.

Fine with me.

Raaa!

Raaaa!

Raaaa!

[action music playing]

[thuds]

Aha!

You were going to let me b*at you up

and use the Pain Absorption Stone
to withstand the att*ck

then boomerang the pain back on me.

That was Plan A, yeah.

Ha! Did you really think
I wouldn’t see that coming?

No, I didn’t think you’d see
Plan B coming!

[thuds]

[shatters]

[Krosh laughing]

Yeah!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

My stones!

[shattering]

[twinkling]

[Fantos] This will not stand!

Do you hear me?

Enjoy your so-called victory
for I shall have my revenge.

Though I may not now, I shall have
all Stones of Power once again.

For I am mighty.

I am powerful.

I am unstoppable.

I am Fantos, the Amassor,

and I…

need a ride home.

-[dial beeps]
-[rings]

Mom, I didn't get the stones.

Because of reasons, that's why! Okay?

I know I promised to move out
once I got all the stones,

but there were these girls and…

Can you beam me up
and we'll talk about this later?

[beeps]

As I said, enjoy your so-called vic…

Well, that’s embarrassing.

Let’s hear it for Jo and Krosh!

-Hip, hip…
-Hooray!

-Hip, hip…
-Hooray!

[Papa G] Hip, hip…

Hooray!

It seems that, against all odds,

we have somehow arrived at a happy ending.

[General] You were right
about these aliens.

They are good people and reliable allies.

But that furry one is definitely a robot.

That’s right, folks!

The unconquerable Krosh and victorious Jo

captured all Stones of Power!

[Jo] Wow, all stones.
Phase one of our mission is complete.

I-- er… We did it!

Jo, that was amazing!

Finally! I’ve got my ring back!

Ahh, hold on, these are Krosh's.

Krosh? Wh--what about me and the team?

Well, I've been thinking and I have
the perfect plan to defeat Erodious.

What if Krosh is the team?

[suspenseful music playing]

What?

[closing theme music playing]
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