08x07 - Not-So-Great Scott

[bunniefuu]

Welcome back to
Tool Time on location.

We're here in Melvindale.

That's right, Heidi. We're
doing a special renovation

on the home of
Marcy Miller. Say hi.

Hello.

Marcy's recently taken up one of
America's fastest-growing hobbies,

collecting fine wine.

Now, for most of us, the
collection of fine wines

has been associated
with rich, snooty people.

Lovey, don't waste the
Bordeaux on Gilligan.

But not anymore. Lots of
people are collecting wine.

And to help Marcy out,

we're converting her whole
butler's pantry into a wine locker.

Now, our first step is to take out
the old cabinets and shelves here.

Whoa, whoa! Wait a minute.

The first step is to get rid
of the old butler. Excuse me.

Jeeves, walk yourself to the curb,
but leave the silver here. Bye-bye.

You nut.

Okay, we've finished
gutting our room,

now it's time to create
a moisture barrier.

This allows us to control the climate
regardless of outside conditions.

To start, we've covered our
walls with -mil plastic sheeting.

Shields moisture
out, locks freshness in.

Okay, the guys have just finished
installing our climate-control system.

This is a combination
refrigerator/humidifier,

which will allow Marcy to keep the
room at degrees with % humidity.

And a % chance of showers.

Well, we've put in
our redwood racks.

Now, if you're on
a limited budget,

you can substitute PVC
pipe for the redwood.

There's Marcy right now. Marcy, what
do you think of your new wine room?

Oh, it looks terrific.

But these shelves are so tall.

Are you sure they
won't tip over?

Not a chance.

I fastened these to the walls and
floors with seven-inch bolts myself.

Added some extra
weight here for stability.

Good thinking, Tim.

Well, I love it. And to
commemorate the occasion,

I'm going to add this rare
' Mouton Rothschild.

Okay. Now, because
of the added weight,

we've also taken the
precaution of reinforcing the floor.

We did? Didn't we?

I didn't. Did you?

(CREAKING)

(GASPING)

(BOTTLES SHATTERING)

(WHIRRING)

Sounds great, Scott.

I can't thank you enough for
re-jetting the carburetor for me.

Hey, no problem. No problem.

Now what should I do
with all these leftover parts?

(GRUNTING) Oh, no!

I'm just kidding you,
buddy. Just kidding you.

You really know your stuff.

I'm really happy Heidi
married a car guy.

Well, she said you'd
have fired her if she didn't.

I really like your
wife. She's a great gal.

Yeah. I'm a lucky
guy, too. Uh-huh.

(DOOR OPENING)

Ooh. Just in time. Mark's
doing a video on the family.

Scott and I just finished re-jetting
the carburetor on the Nomad.

Well, actually, Scott
did it. I watched.

Anyway, we're all finished.

Week three. Dad claims
he's finished with the Nomad.

The delusion continues.

Oh, ye of little faith.
Okay, let me put it this way.

The Nomad is
done, finished. Finito!

Unless we slap a blower on her.

(GUFFAWING)

This thing would
run like a scalded cat!

Yeah.

Yeah?

If you would like to learn more
about obsessive-compulsive behavior,

please consult
your local library.

There's room for a
blower right over here.

Put nitrous on those, you'd get
about extra horses out of this.

Sweetheart, we should get going.

Aw, he just got here. Can't
he stay for the test drive?

No, and he can't
sleep over, either.

Heidi and I are having
our own slumber party.

A slumber party?

Yeah. They finally got a night to
themselves. Her mom's got the baby.

And I got my baby.

Hey, hey, hey!
We're in a garage.

(INHALES)

Any and all affection must
be directed towards the car.

Ah.

You know, Tim and I were talking about
the four of us doing something together.

That would be great. I haven't had any
time for fun lately. What should we do?

Why don't we go to dinner?

Oh, that sounds fun,

but we were thinking
about a wrestling match.

We'd k*ll you.

Channel gave us
sportswriters free tickets.

That's right. To see Screaming Steve
Sanchez versus The Exterminator.

Channel 's tickets are so close,
you'd be wiping sweat off your foreheads.

I got it. I got it. We'll
go out to dinner,

and you two can
wrestle over the check.

So, Wendy, why
don't you tell me a little

about why you
decided to start therapy?

Well, work is going great.

And I am in love with the most
wonderful man in the world.

I can see how that would be
a problem for some women.

No. The problem is he's married.

I'm sorry.

How did all of this get started?

We used to work together.

But we always had this
great mental chemistry.

Do you know what it's like when you
and a man that you are crazy about

are on the same
intellectual wavelength?

No. But go on.

Well, one night last spring,

I was at the TV station where
I used to work, Channel ,

and Scott and I were
both stuck there late,

writing extra sports columns...

Hold on a second.
Did you say Scott?

Yeah, Scott. Well, anyway, it
was late, and we got hungry...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just...

I wanna make sure
that I heard you correctly.

You did say Channel
, the TV station?

Yeah, the TV station.

Anyway, it was...

The only reason I
ask is that sometimes,

if a patient's under stress,

they'll get their facts
confused, you know?

Like they might say TV station
when really what they mean is

a train station
or a bus station.

Are you under stress?

No! No, no. I'm fine. I'm fine.

(SIGHS DEEPLY) Go on.

Anyway, it was late, and
Scott and I were really hungry,

so we ended up going out
for dinner and drinks and...

Then, the next thing you know...

You slept together.

Yeah. Well, he
was a little hesitant,

but I just could
not stop myself.

I mean, he is so
sweet and so gorgeous.

And he has just got the
greatest hair, I mean...

Yeah, blond, big
shoulders, and that whole...

I'm just guessing.

Well, anyway, we had a
great time together and...

Look what he surprised me with.

An owl? Mmm-hmm.

Well, do you think there's
any significance to the owl?

Well, perhaps in his
mind, it represents

a clandestine relationship taking
place under the cover of darkness.

Or he just likes hooters.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

You're going to have to assign another
therapist to Wendy Reynolds' case.

Conflict of interest.

This affair affects somebody
that my husband works with.

Yeah.

Thank you. I really
appreciate it, Doctor Gerringer.

What affair?

I can't talk about it.

Come on. Some affair at work?

Let me guess. Let me guess.

It's Al, isn't it? Huh?

It's a classic case,
psychologically.

He's way too close to his mom.

His house is too tidy.
He's gay, isn't he?

It's not Al.

Don't ask me any more questions.

It violates my
doctor/patient confidentiality.

I respect that, too.

It's Marv, the
camera guy, right?

It's not Marv, and
the subject is closed.

Milton! Milton doesn't go in

for that sort of thing!

It's not me, is it?

Heidi!

She's cheating on Scott.

The guy just rebuilt my
carburetor, for God's sake!

It's not Heidi. Heidi would
never do anything like that.

Heidi wouldn't do
anything like that?

Oh, and you're suggesting Scott
would do something like that?

Oh, you know, it's
always the man!

You women get up on your
high moral horse, you know?

This guy would not do
anything like that! He's a car guy!

This car guy did do that.

I don't believe it.
He's a Chevy guy.

He's parking his Chevy
in another garage.

I don't believe it.

Tim...

Look, this new patient
came into my office today

and told me that she
was having an affair

with a good-looking, married
sportswriter named Scott

who works at Channel .

"Good-looking,
married sportswriter,

"named Scott who
works at Channel ."

And you naturally assume it's the
same good-looking, married sportswriter

that works at Channel , named
Scott, who's married to Heidi?

Tim, it's the same Scott!

He wined her, he dined her and then
he surprised her with a wooden owl.

I've never heard it
called that before.

It's a pin. He
bought her jewelry.

Oh.

You can't listen to this woman.

I mean, she's in for therapy.
Obviously, she's a little off-kilter.

Mmm-hmm.

Probably desperate.

I mean, why else would she
be going to a student therapist

when she could get a real one?

Because there's a lot of damn
good ones out there, right? Yeah!

What if the affair
is still going on?

What are we going
to do about Heidi?

Nothing! It's not
the same Scott!

How do you know?
How can you be so sure?

Honey, listen to me.

When you work on a car with
a guy, you get to know him.

You share secrets.
I would have known.

Tim, I know you like to think
the best of your car guys,

but I'm absolutely
certain it's him.

You gotta talk to Heidi.
I'm not talking to Heidi.

You can't talk to Heidi.
I can't talk to Heidi.

It'll hurt her. You gotta talk to
Scott. I'm not talking to Scott.

No, you can't talk
to Scott. I can't, no.

And it violates my doctor/patient
confidentiality with Wendy.

There's one more thing. What?

It's not the same Scott.

You're in denial!

I am not.

Are, too! Are not!

Are, too! Are not!

Are, too!

For more information
on marital stress,

please consult a
licensed counselor.

I'm so glad we're finally
able to get together.

This is fun. Not big, greasy
men body-slamming each other.

We'll save that
for our anniversary.

Isn't there supposed to be a celery
stalk or pickle in the Bloody Marys?

Sometimes in life, we do
not get everything we want.

You know, we've been coming
to this restaurant for years.

When are we going to get
something other than the attitude?

When you go to
another restaurant.

You know, guys,
we should order soon

'cause I gotta get back
to the station by : .

Are you working
late again tonight?

Yeah.

(WHISPERING) Yeah.

A lot of guys named
Scott work late.

Well, I'm interviewing that
wrestler, The Exterminator.

I'd like to know if he really
has a metal plate in his head.

Just take a magnet with you.

Will you guys stop
talking about work?

Let's just enjoy this time
while we have it, shall we?

Look at Heidi's chest.

Okay, you just noticed?

The pin.

My pin? Do you
like it? TIM: Yes.

This was a gift
from Scott. I love it.

You know what? I'm gonna go
call the sitter and check on Amy.

I'll be right back.

Okay. Okay.

Let's see...

Well, the specials look good.

See? I told you it
was the same Scott!

What are you hitting me for?
Scott's the one cheating on his wife.

What'd you say?

We're just talking
about the pin.

What, do you buy those
things by the gross?

Tim?

When you want
to go back to work,

do you mean you're going
back to work on Wendy?

Will you shut up?

What are you talking about?

That was confidential
information.

What'd you tell me
in the first place for?

I was upset for Heidi. I needed
somebody to talk to about it.

I didn't know that you
would blurt it all out.

Once again, you
underestimate me.

So you guys know about Wendy.

I don't know what to say.

Well, I bet you know what to say when
you're working on Wendy's float bowls.

Wendy? Wendy Reynolds.

Scott, what's going on
with you and Wendy?

I'm guessing he's
stuffing the cannoli.

I'll give you two more
minutes to decide.

You slept with Wendy Reynolds.

It was months ago
before she left the station,

when you and I were separated.

Scott, we were
separated three weeks!

I didn't know what I was doing.

I was lonely. I was miserable.

I was lonely. I was miserable.

But do I jump in
the sack with Tim?

The veal looks good.

Yeah, you know, when I was younger,
I used to call that "veal parma-gain-ia."

Heidi, it was the biggest
mistake of my life.

And I'm really, really sorry.

I thought we had an open
and honest relationship.

And now I'm finding out this
whole thing has been just a big lie.

It's not a lie.

Guys, I think we should leave.

Here's some
money for the drinks.

I made a mistake.

Honey, that's way too
much. We just had two drinks.

Tim! I love you so much!

Hold on a minute.
I don't believe you!

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Do you have change
for a $ ? Tim!

I'm sorry that we have to leave.

I hope you found the free
dinner rolls to your satisfaction.

Actually, they
were a tad yeasty.

Ah! Got it.

Me, too.

Hey, what do you
think you're doing?

Doing a little sequence
on disgusting family habits.

Oh, really? Why don't
you come upstairs?

I'll show you what I
can do with a Q-tip.

Oh, I feel so terrible.

So do I. I spent
bucks on two drinks.

I'm talking about
Scott and Heidi.

I thought we agreed not
to say anything about this!

I snapped. I just can't believe
he'd do that to my good friend Heidi.

Oh, I know. I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.
It's totally my fault.

I should've known if I told you,

you wouldn't be able to
keep your big yap shut.

How come when it's your
fault, it winds up being my fault?

No, no, no. I should never have
betrayed my patient's confidence.

What I did...

I disgraced the entire
psychology profession.

You think you got it bad?
Because of what Scott did,

it's a dark day
for all Chevy guys.

(BUBBLING)

Wilson, what smells so good?

Well, I'm making cider for
the Hamtramck Apple Festival.

It's my second try.

You know, it's amazing
how one bad apple

can spoil the whole bunch.

Tell me about it.

I just single-handedly destroyed
the whole psychology profession.

(LAUGHING) Well, that's
very impressive for a student.

Can you imagine the damage you
can do when you actually get a license?

I don't know that I deserve one.

WILSON: What?

Oh.

(SIGHS)

I had a patient come in and
tell me that she'd had an affair

with Heidi's husband.

Heidi found out about it because I
broke confidentiality and told Tim.

Ah. Now you're telling me.

Oh, my God! I did it
again. I can't believe it!

I'm completely hopeless.

You know, I'm just lucky that my
supervisor never found out what I did.

Well, you are right because
she could've lost her license,

and you could've been kicked
out of the master's program.

Really? Oh, really.

Also, the school could've been sued,
and you might've been written about

in textbooks for future
generations to study.

Wilson, you're not
making me feel any better.

Well, excuse me!

Why do I always have
to be Santa's little helper?

Well, I mean, I have wants.
I have needs. I have issues.

But does anyone ever
come to the fence and say,

"Wilson, do you have a problem?"

I mean, no! It's just
"Me, me, me, me!"

Wilson, of course you're right.

I'm so sorry.

Well, I'm sorry, neighborette,

but, I guess, even I sometimes
need somebody to open up to.

Well, you can open
up to me any time.

Of course, I don't
know why you'd want to.

Jill, if I wasn't
comfortable talking to you,

I couldn't have
snapped the way I did.

Really? Really.

You know, you're
a very good listener.

I think you'll make
a very fine therapist.

(CHUCKLING) Thank you, Wilson.

I still feel bad
about Heidi, though.

Well, why don't you take her a peace
offering of some nice apple cider?

This is a secret family recipe.

It smells so good. What's in it?

Yeah, like I'd tell you.

(PHONE RINGING)

Would you grab
that please, Brad?

If it's Scott, tell him I
don't want to talk to him.

You want me to tell him
you're washing your hair again?

Just tell him I'm working on
my car with somebody else.

Hello?

Hey, Scott. How're you doing?

No, no. He's actually
not here right now.

Oh, really? You have
tickets to the Lions game.

Fifty-yard line?

No, no. I'm afraid my
dad's not interested.

No, but you know I am, right?

All right, cool.

All right, I'll see
you Sunday then.

All righty. Bye.

Well, you sure showed him, huh?

What's that?

Oh, it's just some apple
cider that Wilson gave me.

He's acting kind of peculiar.

You have any idea why? Mmm-hmm.

Try some of that cider.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Heidi? Hi.

Come on in.

Hi, Tim. TIM: Hi, Heidi.

Can I talk to you
guys for a second?

Yes. Yes. Please, do.
I'm so glad that you came.

We wanted to come and find you.

We both feel just terrible
about what happened yesterday.

Yeah, well, it was
pretty embarrassing

to find out about Scott's affair

in front of my
friend and my boss.

And the waiter.

The truth is, in all that awkwardness,
I'm really glad it came out.

You are?

Thanks to you guys, Scott and
I ended up having a huge fight.

Glad we could help.

First we yelled
and then, we cried,

but then we really started to
examine our whole relationship.

Tim and I have found that
fighting really helps our relationship.

In fact, if we don't fight for
awhile, we really start to miss it.

I don't miss it.

Yes, you do. No, I don't.

Yeah, you do.

Yeah, the important thing is that
you and Scott are on the right track.

No, I don't.

Yeah. I think Scott and I are
going to be able to work through this.

And Tim can start
taking Scott's calls again.

Great. I'm really
glad. HEIDI: Yeah.

You do, you know?

No, I don't. Do.

No, I don't. Do.

Don't. Do.

Someone's having an affair at Tool Time?
Tell me! I'll guess! I'll guess! Um...

I don't have the pan.

Well, I can't help
you there. Um...

Hold on a minute.

Hold that thought.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.

Wendy? Wendy Reynolds?

Scott, what's going on
with you and Wendy?

I'm guessing he's
hiding the rigatoni.

You know your stuff.

You know, and I can't tell
you how important it is for me

to have you a car guy because...

I just don't know the line.