08x16 - Mark's Big Break

[bunniefuu]

Okay, girls, gotta
go to work. I'm late.

Where are you
working today, Daddy?

Oh, um...

Actually, today I'm working
for a governmental contractor

under the auspices of the
Michigan Department of Highways.

Wow. Yeah.

(CHUCKLING)

I'm fixing potholes.

Well, have fun.
Bye-bye, Marty. Bye.

Okay, girls, we gotta get busy.
You know what day Sunday is.

Valentine's Day. Yup.

And I bought cards
for all your friends.

I always loved Valentine's Day.

Except for when I was in sixth
grade and I got braces on my teeth

and the only valentine I got from
was this kid named Jason Schumacher.

The kid with head lice.

Then, in eighth grade, the
braces came off, the bra came on,

and then, "Hello, valentines."
I was swimming in them.

Aunt Jill...

I'm sorry. Okay.

Claire, I have your
class roster here.

And your first name
is Gary Adams.

Now, the key is to write a really
personal little message on them.

Next?

(CHUCKLES) Well,
that's a way to go. Okay.

Uh, Gracie, your first
name is Tommy Anderson.

I'm gonna write a special
one to him. He likes me.

That's because
he thinks you're me.

Well, that's not a nice
thing to say, Gracie.

I'm Claire.

I knew that. Ooh. Hey, guys.

Guess what's happening
on Sunday? Well, we know,

but we're frankly
surprised that you know.

I think I'd remember the day I get
my custom shift knob for the hot rod.

Shifter-knob Sunday.
And me without a ham.

Custom-made, you know?
It's the last piece of the puzzle.

Found it up in Lansing.

Guy's gonna scoot it down
here. It'll be here Sunday.

Once I screw it on,
the hot rod is complete.

Finished? Done? Over?

As in over with,
finito, that's it.

Wow, girls, your Uncle Tim
finally finished the hot rod.

You're finishing your hot
rod for Valentine's Day?

That's right, Claire.

I'm Gracie.

I knew that.

So, do you have any ideas
about what to do on the big day?

Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking we
could go to Sorrentino's for dinner,

and then go listen to
some jazz and then...

You're not talking
about Valentine's Day.

You're talking about
finishing the hot rod.

Absolutely not. I'm talking
about unveiling the hot rod.

Oh.

Well, once I get it finished, I
gotta think of some exciting way

to show it to the audience.

Well, how about this?
Okay, you start up the engine,

you drive it out. I like it.

People everywhere are
cheering. They're cheering.

Then you make this
big announcement.

"This is the last hot
rod I will ever build."

Good one.

(JILL SIGHS)

Well, we're off to school.
You gonna be able to drive?

Yeah. I'll be fine. I just...

I don't know how I'm gonna carry
home all those valentines I'll be getting.

I'm sure you'll have plenty of
cargo space in that swelled head.

See you, guys. All right.

You guys aren't leaving till
you both come up with an idea

about the hot rod show for me.

Dad, I got a geometry test.

Mark, this is important.

How about a real
emotional Tool Time?

Go with it. Come on. What
could be more dramatic

than giving your eldest son
the keys to that ' Ford?

Good one.

Why don't you just make a video?

A video, sure. What about?

Like a tribute to the hot rod.

Um, you know, with interviews
with the people that made it.

A video tribute. That's good.

That's a great
idea. I like that idea.

Maybe you could work on it.

You mean, like, create it?

Sure. You did a great
job on Brad's soccer video.

But this is a big,
professional project.

But it's just a small segment.

I think he can do it. He's been
interning down at Tool Time.

He's been doing a great job.

Thank you, Dad.

I promise, I won't
disappoint you.

Don't disappoint me.

But there's ground rules.
Three of them. Big ones.

My show, my show, my show.

(HORN HONKING)

I gotta go. All right.
And remember,

I want the video up to Tool
Time high standards, okay?

Gotcha. I'll blow something up.

(TIM LAUGHS)

It's really nice, your
giving Mark this chance.

I've got a lot of
confidence in that kid.

And he might be able to
bring a younger audience in.

I could reach young
tool men and mold them

before their minds
are fully functioning.

And after hours,
you'll have the appearance

of natural wood grain
on your aluminum door.

Now, that's what I call a
simply fabulous faux finish.

And that's what I call simply
spending too much time

with your mother.

We'll be right back after
these words from Binford.

Well, Tim, Al and Heidi here.

You might recognize
us from over there.

Poor air quality is an
issue we all deal with.

Many of us in urban areas are
forced to breathe noxious fumes.

Heidi's the one that
had the breakfast burrito.

To protect ourselves from
pollutants and particles in the air,

we're proud to introduce the
Binford sports respirator.

It's lightweight,
and fashionable.

Plus the mouthpiece comes in
designer colors, a full array of them.

Mmm-hmm. Mine's kiwi.

Breathe cleaner, healthier air.

Breathe Binford.

Well, that finishes up
another Tool Time show.

Al, why don't you tell everybody

about the big show
we got coming up?

That's right. Be sure
to tune in Tuesday

for a very special Tool
Time, when Tim presents

his totally restored
' Ford convertible.

Plus a little video tribute directed
and created by my son, Mark.

You know, you have
your family working here.

What would it take to
get Mother on the show?

Hmm...

We'd have to widen that door
and put some brisket down.

Tell us about the engine.

Well, she's got
horsepower at RPM.

Ooh, and she's ported,
polished and relieved.

Full... Full race cam

and three Stromberg s.

(GRUNTING)

MARK: Dad, you're in my sh*t.

The electrical on this '
Ford is wired like a computer.

It's all parallel,
no crisscross.

The connectors, heat-shrunk.
Prevents corrosion.

Yeah, no corrosion on
those babies. No corrosion.

(GRUNTS)

Hi, I'm Eddie. I'm
Tim's body shop guy.

MARK: So tell us what you see
when you look at my dad's hot rod.

(CHUCKLES) I see dollar signs.

See? Oh, yeah. I see Eddie
Junior going to Harvard.

I see early retirement.

I see a little place in Rio.

I see a fake passport and a
new wife. Young. I like 'em young.

Hey, cut, cut, cut. Whoa...
They gotta be young.

Eddie, family show, baby.

Oh.

(CLEARS THROAT)

I really loved
working on this car.

I can't believe the
odyssey is finally over.

Seems like only
yesterday that Tim

asked me to match
the ruby-pearl exterior

with the beautiful
distressed leather upholstery.

And then the joy we both felt on
the day we found the right color

and fabric for the
convertible top.

I can still smell that
German canvas.

Like the top of a baby's head.

(CRYING)

I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to do this. Thanks, Tim.

Hi. Hey. Tough day

out there on the blacktop?

Ah, yeah.

You know, it's not filling
the potholes that I mind,

it's the groupies.

Where are my girls?
They're on a play date

with a friend of theirs, and
Jill took them all to the mall.

She's probably getting me something
really cool for Valentine's Day.

You get her something special?

I did something she's
been wanting me to do

for three years,
finish the hot rod.

Yes, I'm getting her
something special.

You know, it's funny.

All the time that Nancy
and I were together,

I always figured Valentine's Day

was just some annoying holiday

that women made up.

It's true. Legend has
it it was a little town

called Climax, Michigan.

, group of women
around a salad bar.

One was making
up Valentine's Day.

The other two were inventing
stuff like, "Dressings on the side,"

and, "I just want to be held."

What's the matter?

Ah, you know, just...

Seeing all the couples buying
each other cards and presents.

You know, I miss it.

You know, what
you're going through,

it takes a lot of guts.

You mean living with you?

That, too.

(CHATTERING)

She'd never do that.
Hi, guys. TIM: Hi.

Hi. Hey, who's this?

This is our friend Christy.
She's staying for dinner.

Well, I'm cooking tonight.
So you're real lucky.

We'll see about that.

Feisty little thing. Huh?

Hey.

You guys are a little late.
Where have you been?

Mark was in the editing
room for two hours,

and I had to stand in
the hall on my bum leg.

Why didn't you just sit down?

Oh, sh**t.

Finished the video. Well, good.

Let's take a look
at it. Come on.

Dad, Dad.

So, how did it come out?

I think it's the best
thing I've ever done.

All right.

Thank you so much for
giving me the chance.

I can't wait to see it.

She's got horsepower
at RPMs. She's ported...

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Yeah.

Heat-shrunk. Prevents corrosion.

Hi. I'm Eddie, Tim's
body shop guy.

(LAUGHING)

I see early retirement.

I see a little place in Rio.

I see fake passports and a
new wife. Yeah, and she's young.

I like 'em young.
She's gotta be...

Finally got the right color and
fabric for the convertible top.

(CRYING)

So, what'd you think?

It stunk.

Christy, it did not stink.

Anybody else?

I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to go with Christy.

Brad.

It didn't stink.

Thank you, Claire.

It was scary.

Dad? Huh?

Well.

That was different. I liked the
way you switched the guys' heads.

That was good. But...

But what?

You know, I hate
telling you this.

I mean, it was...
It's a new policy,

just came down at Binford today.

It's a union thing, and since
you're not part of the union...

You're not gonna
show it, are you?

Well, I'd like to show
it, but it's a union thing.

He thinks it stinks, too.

Look, I know the
video was bizarre.

But isn't there something
that you can do?

Sure. I could present it
to the devil as an offering.

Couldn't you do some sort
of special blooper show?

Mom, Dad already has
one. It's called Tool Time.

Well, what about
re-editing it, so it works?

And what if it doesn't?
Then I disappoint him twice?

Well, all I know is we've got
a -year-old who's crushed.

Seems to me you should have
thought this through more carefully

before you made a
promise you couldn't keep.

Maybe there's something
in it I can use, you know?

(SIGHING)

(GROANS)

Happy Valentine's
Day, good neighbor.

Why don't you just
send a greeting card?

Well, some historians claim
that Valentine's Day can be traced

to the ancient
festival of Lupercalia.

See, in Rome, people
would slap each other

using animal pelts,
to heighten fertility.

We used to do
that in high school.

Using a wet towel would
just heighten people's voices.

(FAKE GROANING)

It is great fun, I'll tell you.

I bet Jill would love to strike
you with an animal hide.

Mmm-hmm. I bet you Mark would
like to take a whack at me himself.

Ah. Yeah. Jill told
me about the video.

I cannot show that
video on Tool Time.

On the other hand, I don't
want to discourage the kid

from doing something
he's passionate about.

So, in the words of the
Anglican leader Lorenzo Dow,

"You're damned if you do,
and you're damned if you don't."

You can go back to
your lubrication festival.

Tim, let me ask you something.

When you asked Mark
to create this video,

did you give him
any guidelines? Yeah.

I said, it was my show,
my show, my show.

Aha, aha, aha.

Not much to go on, is it?

It's like telling a guy to build
a house without blueprints.

Which is something
you wouldn't do.

I might.

I actually did once. That
house was a disaster.

Yeah. But the ratings
went through the roof,

just like the water heater.

(CHUCKLING)

You know, Tim, Mark has his
own vision and you have yours.

Now, if you want to
hire him for your show,

you've got to
communicate what you want

in an articulate and a
professional manner.

I love articulating. Yeah.

Maybe the two of
you can work together.

They say, sometimes, that
two heads are better than one.

So, you did see the video?

(GROANING)

Hey, Mark. Hey, Brad.

(SIGHING)

Hey, Brad, could
you give us a minute?

Don't worry about it. I
don't feel like talking.

Brad, please. Come on.

Yeah. Is there anything
you want me to get you?

Not now. But come
back in a minute, yeah.

I want to talk about your video.

What about it?

Well, I looked at it again. And
it's real creative, you know?

And it shows a lot of humor.

Come on. You thought it sucked.

No, I didn't. Not at all.

I mean, when Sparky
was crying there,

I got goose bumps. At least I
think that's what those were.

Well, I looked it over again,
and I thought it sucked.

What did you think
was the matter with it?

It was just too
flashy and overdone.

It had nothing to
do with your show.

That's true. But I think
I know why you did it.

You do?

Yeah. It all comes
back to Tool Time.

It's called "The Lost Episode."

Never heard of it.

Hence the name "Lost Episode."

Nobody's seen it. Not even Mom.

When I got out of college,

I was just fresh out of
two film classes, right?

I got my own show,
and I wanted to show off.

You know, my creativity was
just burning through me, right?

So, I did my first episode
about building a table

from the perspective of the saw.

Oh, man.

Yeah, that's what Binford said.

That's what the crowd said.

That's what the saw
blade actually said.

(IMITATING SAW BLADE)

The saw? It talked.

(CHUCKLES)

Binford didn't like it too
much. So, what did they do?

Well, they sat me down and we
had a nice conversation about it.

And they gave me
some directions,

not the dumb
guidelines I gave you.

And I'm thinking
that if we brainstorm

with some of the guys
down at Tool Time,

we could come up with a
great episode for next week.

You're giving me a second
chance? You bet I am.

Come on, this is
about our hot rod.

I'm not just letting
anybody do this.

All right. Let's get
started. All right.

We need some notes first,
on that first scene. You thirsty?

Yeah. Hey, Brad,

will you bring down
some root beers, please?

Well, we're just about to
reveal Tim's ' Ford convertible.

Hey, Tim, you want to tell us a
little something about this car?

♪ Why, this car is chopped

♪ It's shaved

♪ It's recessed

♪ Why, it's Greased Lightning

♪ I love the overhead lifters
And four-barrel quads, oh, yeah

♪ Fuel injection cut-off And
chrome-plated rods, oh, yeah

♪ With a four-speed on the floor

♪ They'll be waiting at the door

♪ You know without a
doubt I'll be really making out

♪ in Greased Lightning

♪ Go, go, go Go,
Greased Lightning

♪ You're burning
up the quarter mile

♪ Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

♪ Go, Greased Lightning

♪ You're coasting
through the heat lap trial

♪ Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

♪ You are supreme

♪ The chicks'll dream
of Greased Lightning

♪ Go, go, go

♪ I'll have me purple French
tail lights and -inch fins, oh, yeah

♪ A palomino dashboard
and dual muffler twins, oh, yeah

♪ With new pistons,
plugs and shocks

♪ She could b*at
the super stocks

♪ You know that I ain't bragging
She's a real dragon wagon

♪ Greased Lightning Go, go, go

♪ Go, Greased Lightning
You're burning up the quarter mile

♪ Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

♪ Go, Greased Lightning

♪ You're coasting
through the heat lap trial

♪ Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

♪ You are supreme

♪ The chicks'll scream
for Greased Lightning

♪ Go, go, go

♪ Go, Greased Lightning
You're burning up the quarter mile

♪ Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

♪ Go, Greased Lightning

♪ You're coasting
through the heat lap trial

♪ Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

♪ You are supreme

♪ The chicks'll scream
for Greased Lightning ♪

(JILL LAUGHING)

Pretty proud of you. It looks
good. Looks great, actually.

Thanks, Dad.

Ah. God, it was such a good idea
for you to think of Greased Lightning.

Yeah. Wow. Heidi was great.

What about us?

Oh, you were in it?

By the way, Dad... Nah,
don't even bother thanking me.

It was all you. It
was a good idea.

Actually, I wasn't going
to. I went way over budget.

Can I get reimbursed?

Son, you have a lot to
learn about the film business.

♪ Well, it's got
overhead lifters

♪ And four-barrel
quads, oh, yeah

♪ Fuel injection cut-off And
chrome-plated rods, oh, yeah

♪ With a four-speed on the floor

♪ They'll be waiting at the door

♪ You know, without a
doubt I'll be really making out

♪ in Greased Lightning

♪ Go, go, go Go,
Greased Lightning

♪ You're burning
up the quarter mile

♪ Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

♪ Go, Greased Lightning

♪ You're coasting
through the heat lap trial

♪ Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

♪ You are supreme

♪ The chicks'll dream
of Greased Lightning

♪ Go, go, go

♪ I'll have me purple French
tail lights and -inch fins, oh, yeah

♪ A palomino dashboard
and dual muffler twins, oh, yeah

♪ With new pistons,
plugs and shocks

♪ She could b*at
the super stocks

♪ You know that I ain't bragging
She's a real dragon wagon

♪ Greased Lightning Go, go, go

♪ Go, Greased Lightning You're
burning up the quarter mile ♪