03x07 - Swan Song

[bunniefuu]

# I saw the light #

# I saw the light #

# No sorrow in sight #

# Praise the Lord,
I saw the light ##

What did he mean,
m*rder?

And why am I talking to
somebody from Homicide?

I appreciate it, sir, but, uh,
my ears pop in an elevator.

As a matter of fact, I don't
even like being this tall.

You know, I'm very happy
you told me that.

Why's that?

Well, you know, that's what started
your brother-in-law thinking that

you had something to do
with murdering his sister.

Here, I'll park the car
for you, Mr. Brown.

Thank you.

How's the box office
going for tonight?

All sold out, sir.

That's great!

Ah, thank you, sir.

I want you to check out
the sound system, Luke.

I want you to find me
an engineer.

Okay.

While I'm performing,

I want you to keep
the candy hawkers

and the picture sellers
out of the aisle.

I don't want them
out there

when I'm trying
to do a show.

I always do.

Yeah, you're really on the
ball, ain't you, Luke?

I try, Tommy.

##

# I saw the light,
I saw the light #

# No more darkness,
no more night #

# Now I'm so happy,
no sorrow in sight #

# Praise the Lord,
I saw the light #

# I walked in darkness
and clouds covered me #

# I had no idea
where the way-out could be #

# Then came the sunrise
and rolled back the night #

# Praise the Lord,
I saw the light #

# I saw the light,
I saw the light #

# No more darkness,
no more night #

# Now I'm so happy,
no sorrow in sight #

# Praise the Lord,
I saw the light #

# Just like a blind man
I wandered astray #

# Straight is the gate
and narrow the way #

# Then like the blind man
that got back his sight #

# Praise the Lord,
I saw the light #

# I saw the light,
I saw the light #

# No more darkness,
no more night #

# Now I'm so happy,
no sorrow in sight #

# Praise the Lord,
I saw the light #

# I saw the light,
I saw the light #

# No more darkness,
no more night #

# Now I'm so happy,
no sorrow in sight #

# Praise the Lord,
I saw the light ##

Thank you very much.
Thank you.

Thank you.

I'll be right back.

Tommy, kiss me.
Tommy boy, kiss me.

Tommy, kiss me.

Please kiss me,
Tommy.

Hmm, maybe later.

Tommy?

All right now.
Do you all hear me?

You're going home.

You hear me?
You all go home.

He's not coming out and
he's not asking you all in.

So please go home.

I'm asking you
nicely now, go home.

Officers, you get them.
Clear the crowd.

Hurry them along officers,
please.

Thank you.

Sis.

Yes?

When you gonna tell me
what you got on Tommy

that makes him
toe the line like that?

Well, I'll tell you when I think
it's fit for you to know.

Shucks, Sis, if anything
ever happens to you...

Well, the good Lord
will see that it doesn't.

How about later?

Not so good.

It's coming out
the teletype now

from our Los Angeles
weather station.

Coastal fog moving in
after midnight

and, uh, they're forecasting
zero ceiling and visibility

in the Basin
and foothills.

But you can b*at it if you take
off in the next half hour.

Thanks.

I'd like to persuade you people
to come back, Mrs. Brown.

Hell, we can sell out Tommy Brown
for damn near a month here.

I don't hold with profanity,
Mr. Dodds.

Oh, I'm sorry.

To the Lost Soul Crusade,

"hell" and "damnation" are not
words to be taken lightly.

Yes, ma'am,
but what about extending?

We're booked into Los
Angeles this week.

And then we have special
ceremonies for the groundbreaking

at the tabernacle site
on Tuesday.

Are you folks really spending
$ million to build it?

It'll be the finest temple to the
glory of the Almighty in America.

The first $ million
is already in escrow.

Mrs. Brown, your end
of tonight's take

is $ , ,
we took in about $ , .

Fine.

Will you be waiting
around for it?

Luke will.

But I'll want to check the figures
myself as soon they're ready.

Yes, ma'am.
Won't be long.

When are we taking off?

I want to talk to you.

I'm listening.

Alone.

Well, now, if what you
want to talk about

is what you're all the
time talking about,

Maryann can stay.

She's got a lot
to do with it.

We got a good thing
going, Edna,

and it would be crazy
to bust it up.

Bust it up?

I'm not aiming to.

I am.

You've got $ million in
escrow to build a tabernacle

and you can't
get the rest without me.

I know that, Tommy.

And I was thinking, maybe you
and I could compromise, Edna.

You take half the money for the
Crusade and I'll take half.

Every penny
goes to the Crusade

until that tabernacle
is built.

You can push
a man too far, Edna.

I'm being used
and I don't like it.

Other singers drive around
in Ferraris, Rolls,

I don't even own a car.

It's me they come
to hear, Edna.

It's my records they buy.

It was me
who got you a parole

to get you away from that
Arkansas prison farm

or you'd still be
rotting there.

I kept my part
of the deal, Edna.

I married you and I've
been faithful to you.

Because I watch you.

You are a lustful sinner,
Tommy.

I saw the expression
on your face

when you were gonna
kiss that lost child.

If it wasn't for me
you'd be using the Crusade

to lure her
to some motel right now,

or into the back of your
car if you had one.

If I had one.

May God forgive me

for letting a devil
help me build a temple.

And what if your devil quits,
what are you going to do?

Why now, it would
all go down the drain,

and you and me with it.

I seem to remember
a little Bible myself, Edna.

"Vengeance is mine,
saith the Lord."

It was also written:

"The Lord works in mysterious
ways, His wonders to perform."

I am his instrument

and I would
punish you, Tommy.

Maryann and me.

Those people out there just might
not believe you and Maryann.

How about those motels

where you register as a father
and daughter with Maryann?

How old were you then,
child?

.

.

All those phony names,

the dark glasses that haven't
been seen through yet.

Of course, you weren't
so well-known then.

But your handwriting has got to
be on some of those registers.

And one of those clerks
could recognize Maryann,

and you, too,
if she pointed the finger.

Hasn't been
but three years, Tommy,

but I've read the law.

The statute
of limitations

hasn't run out yet
on the Mann Act.

Statutory r*pe.

Oh, no. You won't
quit the Crusade, Tommy.

You're a sanctimonious
hypocrite

of a bible-spouting
blackmailer

and I've given you
your last chance to be fair.

Your insults and threats
don't scare me.

Uh, Mr. Dodds is
ready for you, sis.

Right. I won't be long.

Take your time.
We can't fly now, anyway.

Oh. Why not?

Weather's bad in LA.

Improving after midnight.

We're not going to take a chance
on leaving until after midnight.

I'm gonna grab a couple
of hours of shut-eye.

Well, now, if you're thinking
of looking for that child

that came to the door,
you forget it.

Because I'll be
right back,

to make sure that all you're
grabbing is shut-eye.

You want me to
fly back to LA with you?

No, I want you
to ride on the bus, Luke.

There's mountains
between here and LA

and that old crate don't climb so
good with four people on board.

Making another hint
for a new plane.

Tommy, you're
wasting your breath.

Wasting my breath
when I sing, too,

considering what I
get out of it.

Hey, Luke, take this guitar
on the bus with you.

You want me to put it in
with the baggage?

No, I want you to put it
on the seat right by you.

Don't put it under anything,

and don't let that guitar
get broken, Luke.

Okay, Tommy.

##

Hi, Mr. Brown. Mrs. Brown.

Evening.

It sure is
good to see you, sir.

Are we
all fuelled up?

Uh, yes, sir.
All systems go, Mr. Brown.

Sure. It's good taste
you got in music there.

Uh, yes, sir.

Oh, I sure wish
I could have gotten off

to go to that
concert of yours tonight.

What's your name?
Uh, Jeff.

Well, Jeff, next time
I play Bakersfield,

I'll get you
a couple of passes.

Oh, I sure do
appreciate that, sir.

Sure, I'll be
glad to it.

Oh, Mr. Brown.

All right, stow my
luggage for me, will you?

Oh, sir,
right away, sir.

Now, now, hurry,
will you? Please.

Hey, Jeff.

Yes, sir.

These are keys
to my rent-a-car.

It's got plenty of time
left on it

so if you'd like to drive
around awhile, go ahead.

Impress your girlfriend.

Oh, I sure do
appreciate that, sir.

All right.

You'll do no such thing.

You'll turn that car in right away
and I've checked the mileage.

Uh, yes, ma'am.

Oh, $ . I sure do
appreciate that, sir.

All right, don't...

Get a hand there.
Watch your feet.

There. Ah.

Tommy, we are cold.

Heater is busted.
I got some coffee here.

Hot coffee.

Hold it for me, darling.

Tom, this is the most horrible
coffee I've ever tasted.

Well, it's better
than nothing.

Sorry. You can't
come into this area.

I'm from the Los Angeles
Police Department.

Lt. Columbo.
Who's in charge here?

Mr. Pangborn.

Over there,
being interviewed.

We're speaking
with Mr. Roland Pangborn

of the air safety division of the
National Transportation Safety Board.

Mr. Pangborn is heading up
the investigation of this

very tragic air crash.

Do you have an opinion as to the
cause of the crash, Mr. Pangborn?

Well, Hal,
just the statement

the pilot made
at the hospital.

He had a total electrical
system's failure, and his, uh,

instruments and his radio
were out.

However,
I will say, unofficially,

that, uh, one of our
main problems in this...

Save it.

What's the matter?

This fellow's been wandering
around in this sh*t

and it's getting very distracting.
Hal, I'm sorry.

Would you mind,
just for a moment, please?

I'm sorry.

I've got you
in the wide sh*t.

I think we can pick
him up in a single.

Fine.

Uh, Mr. Pangborn,
you were about to give us

an unofficial opinion
of the cause of the crash.

Uh, excuse me, this is one of the big
problems we have at these crash sites:

Curiosity seekers.

Hold it for a minute,
will you?

Sir!

I'll have to
ask you to leave.

L.A.P.D., Lt. Columbo.

I just didn't want to identify
myself in front of the reporter.

Why not?

Well, like you were saying,

better to be unofficial
until you get the facts.

Well, just what facts
have you got?

I don't have anything, just what
I read in the morning newspaper.

I think it's a miracle
this guy got out of the plane.

You know, it was a relief
to my wife.

She's a big fan
of this fellow's.

Knows all his albums.

Can you imagine getting out
of this thing alive?

It's unusual.
But not unheard of.

I'm not clear why there's police
interest in this crash, Lieutenant.

Ah, you see, that's
what I mean, you know.

As soon as you mention
that you're from the police,

then right away, everybody
starts speculating,

especially when you say
you're from Homicide.

Homicide?

Why is Homicide interested
in this, Lieutenant?

We got a complaint
from a member of the family,

Mrs. Brown's brother.

What do you mean,
complaint?

Nothing definite.
Just suspicion of foul play.

But I heard what you
just said over there.

It was
electrical system failure.

That's what
the pilot said.

And that's what you fellas will
probably call the probable cause?

Contributing.
Yeah, I'd say.

Unofficially, though.

It'll still probably be
that old, reliable standby:

Pilot error.

Almost always is.

You see, Brown was not
instrument-rated

and he flew into
minimal weather

and he lost
his orientation.

Got the ship into a stall
configuration and just spun in.

But that's always been and
still is, as a matter of fact,

the number one
causative factor

in private flying
accidents of this type.

Sometimes augmented
by a blood-alcohol count.

Mr. Pangborn,
could you come back here

just for a moment? And bring
your investigating team.

We're losing the light,
it'll just take a moment.

We'd like to get this... this
film to the lab.

Why don't you
finish up?

Fellas, just come around and
stand over on either side of me,

if you will, please.

Mr. Pangborn?

Bring him in.
Ready? Okay,

get ready to roll.

Okay, that's it.
Rolling.

All set? All right.
Fine.

Hold it.

I'm... I'm sorry.

Look, just stand by
with the lights.

You looking
for something specific?

Uh, was that checked?

The engine?
No, but it will be.

No, I didn't mean
the engine.

What you said before,

Mr. Brown's blood count
for alcohol.

At the hospital,
at our request.

But no. He was cold sober,
no dr*gs, nothing.

Mmm-hmm.

Listen, if the engine
went into a stall,

would that be considered
pilot error?

No, I-it's not
the engine.

Lieutenant, when we speak of a
stall, we mean stalling the wing.

Well, that's getting the
ship into too steep a climb.

And that is easy to do

in tight weather with a
blacked-out instrument panel.

No, he just
shouldn't have been flying

around these mountains
at low altitude

without an instrument rating in the
kind of weather we had last night.

Um, Bakersfield to LA
is an hour.

You know, by plane.

Couldn't he have gotten
that weather ahead of time?

Told me he did when I talked
to him at the hospital.

But he'd made the flight
lots of times

and he felt he could
sneak through okay.

Mr. Pangborn, please,
we're losing the light.

Just for one moment,
please, sir.

Why don't you finish it up,
get it over with?

All right, roll it again now.
Let's go.

Keeping it tight.

Mr. Pangborn.

Rolling.

As you can see, Mr.
Pangborn and his staff are very busy people

and we have to interrupt our
interview from time to time.

However, Mr. Pangborn
has rejoined us again,

and with his permission,
we'd like to continue.

Go right ahead.

I think the public is
very interested in these

aircraft accident investigation
techniques, Mr. Pangborn.

We'd certainly like to
follow through on this one.

Would it be possible
for our crew to cover

some of your procedures?

Oh, I think
it could be arranged.

Now, if one of our questions
is out of line, sir,

just say the word
and we'll withdraw it.

Thank you.

I'll give you the
regulation "no comment."

That's fair enough.
First, I'd like to ask

if you have
the pilot's statement,

why is it necessary to make
any investigation at all?

Well, that's
purely a routine.

There's no reflection
at all on this pilot.

As a matter of fact, pilots are a
very special breed of artists.

You know, it's called
the art of flying.

And, uh, many of them are not
really the strong or silent types

that are
generally depicted.

Some of them are
quite emotional.

They tend to blame themselves
for a crash

even when it might have been due to
circumstances beyond their control, you see.

You mean there
might have been

some sort of
mechanical failure

that even the pilot
was unaware of?

Oh, exactly.

We'll take
all of the engine,

electronic and structural
parts of the wreckage

back to our hangar,

and give it
a thorough examination.

We give it an X-ray,
chemical analysis,

microscopic metallurgical
testing, that sort of thing.

So, what we have is
the pilot's statement

which makes our job
easier.

A lot easier, and the
situation a lot clearer.

Well, thank you very much,
Mr. Pangborn.

This is Hal Fischer,
in the Los Angeles mountains.

Okay, that's a wrap.

Got it.

He's saying he felt
he could make it.

The same old story,
the same old fatal results.

Were the two women
sitting in the back?

Right.

Are these the seat-belts
for the two backseats?

Yeah.

I noticed they weren't jarred
open by the impact of the crash.

They never are.

Well, that explains it.

Explains what?

Why the pilot was thrown clear
and the two women weren't.

I'm sorry, I... I just
don't follow.

I noticed
the pilot's seatbelt.

Yeah?

Not fastened.

I hadn't noticed.

My God, you're right.

It must have been open
before the crash.

Oh, you got
one of those, too?

Well, I'm just gonna
make a note and ask Brown

why his belt
wasn't fastened.

All right. Gee,
that reminds me,

I gotta make the same note.

In this case, it probably
saved his life.

Generally, the pi...
the passengers sitting after the cockpit

have a better chance of survival
in a crash of this type.

You got a minute, sir?

Yeah, sure.

Right this way.

What's this?

That's a pilot's
navigation kit.

They keep their charts
in it.

Uh, radio frequency,
pamphlets,

lot of different things.

Gee, that's funny.

What?

No ashes.

I beg your pardon?

No ashes.

Seems empty.

Well, he could have
taken the charts out

and laid them on the
unoccupied co-pilot's seat.

But those ashes would be in
among all those other ashes.

Ah, that would
explain that.

You know something,
Lieutenant,

I could use a man like you
on my team.

It's really nothing
but detective work.

Oh, no,
thank you very much.

You fellas here,
you have to fly.

Sure, we're all pilots.

Oh, no, not for me.
Thank you very much.

I wouldn't qualify
for that.

Why? We'll teach you.

I appreciate it, sir, but, uh,
my ears pop in an elevator.

As a matter of fact, I don't
even like being this tall.

How do you do, sir?
My name is Mr. Grindell.

How do you do?

Are you a relative
of Mrs. Brown?

No, I'm just here
to see a relative...

I see, you are a friend
of the family?

Oh, I'm sorry,
you are a bit late.

You missed
a lovely service.

Excuse me, sir.

Uh, Mr. Brown sang
several popular hymns.

Rock of Ages...

I'm not a friend
of the family.

Actually, I'm a policeman.
Lt. Columbo, Homicide.

I beg your pardon.

I'm here to see
Mr. Luke Baskin.

Yes. He's paying
his last respects

before the bodies are... are
shipped out to Nashville.

Uh, he's taking it
a bit hard, you know.

But, uh,
he will be out shortly.

Oh. Well, maybe
I'll just wait out here.

Fine. Fine.

Lieutenant, this is
one of my cards.

We handled all the
arrangements here. Uh,

excuse me.

Thank you.

Oh.

Um, I'm a great admirer of the
police department, you know.

Uh, I didn't know, but I'm
always glad to hear that.

Why shouldn't you
hear of it?

After all, you men
are so ready

to give your life,
uh, to save ours.

Well, uh, let's hope
it doesn't come up too often.

Yes, yes, yes,
but it does, doesn't it?

Especially in these
violent times. Uh, it's uh...

Just this morning a-at breakfast
with my dear wife Martha,

I glanced in the papers.

And I... I noted that the rate of
the police mortality is just...

It's shocking.
I mean it is just...

Well, you must be
aware of that.

Well, we don't like to
think about it too often.

But one should think
of it, uh, shouldn't one?

Well, you know, I guess
it's the kind of thing

that you don't do anything about
until you actually have to.

But if you need a funeral,

uh, then you are not in condition
to do anything about it, you see.

All right,
I see what you mean.

Have you made plans
for your own departure

from this mortal sphere?

No.
Huh?

No, I haven't.

Yeah. I mean,
it's not like, uh...

It's not the kind of thing
where you make a reservation

or buy a ticket.

Yes, but yet,

a little foresight, for
your dear ones I speak,

uh... uh, would prevent,
uh, trouble

and, uh,
expense... expense.

Excuse me just a moment.

Lieutenant,
this is our brochure.

Now, from here, uh,
you could choose, uh,

anything within your own
means, uh... uh, from among

a... a large variety of plans
that we have here.

Now, this, for instance...

Well, I... I appreciate it
very much

but my wife does all the
shopping in the family.

She'd be very upset
if I bought anything,

you know, without talking
to her about it first.

Of course. Of course.

It's very nice, husband and
wife to decide in this.

Can we, uh, make an appointment?
That'd be nice.

I couldn't talk to her
about this, Mr. Grindell.

She'd think I was working on a dangerous case.
She cries easily.

She cries when she loses
at bowling, you know.

You're a hard sell,
Lieutenant, huh?

Well, I'm sorry.
Actually, you know, I was just here...

Oh, hi, Lieutenant.

Oh, hello, Mr. Baskin.

Did you find out
anything?

Uh, thank you very much, sir.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Gentlemen, excuse me.

Did you ever see
Mr. Brown's navigation kit?

Sure, all the time.

Were you familiar
with its contents?

Yeah, just a bunch
of maps and charts.

You've seen these
maps and charts?

Yeah.

Did you see them
the day of the crash?

Uh, well, no, I didn't, uh,
open the kit that day.

You mean, you had
the kit in your hand that day?

Yeah.

I carried it from the
plane to the car.

Was it heavy?

No, no more than usual.

Hmm.

Did you carry it back from the
car to the plane when they left?

No, Tommy did.

Why? You on to something,
Lieutenant?

No, I don't think so,
sir. No.

Look, I'm not
very smart,

and I don't know
how he did it,

I just know that
somehow he did.

'Cause he
hated my sister.

He never loved her.
He just used her.

Yes, sir.
You've told me that.

That doesn't explain
why he would k*ll her.

She had something
on him.

What?

I don't know.
She wouldn't tell me.

Hmm.

I believe
you're very sincere, sir.

But there's just
no proof of anything.

Look, you don't know
Tommy Brown like I do.

You've got to
question him.

I'm going to do that.

But you must understand, it's
just going to be a formality.

Then do it. Do it now.
Do it today.

Yes, sir. I don't think that
today would be the right time.

It's too close...

Lieutenant, I want you to see
what Tommy Brown's like.

I want you to talk to him.
Would you do that for me, please,

as a personal favor?
Today? Please?

Uh, all right.

I'm coming with you.

##

d And it took me
back to something d

d that I lost somewhere d

See what I mean,
Lieutenant?

He couldn't wait.

Rented this place while he
was still in the hospital.

$ , a month.
What?

You know, there's no law
against that, Mr. Baskin.

Listen to all that
going around out yonder.

My sister ain't even
in her grave yet.

But there's no law against
that, either, Mr. Baskin.

Maybe it's not a good idea for
you to see him right now.

Why not? I'm still
working for him.

You know, I'll have to tell him you're
the one who made the complaint.

Good.

I wanna see the look
on his face when...

Now, just a minute.
Now, listen to me.

When I talk to him, I'm gonna
have to talk to him alone.

That's the only right way
to do it.

And if you're
gonna cause trouble...

I won't. I promise you,
I won't do that.

Okay.

# When Sunday mornin'
comin' down #

# In the park I saw a daddy #

# With a laughin' little girl
that he was swingin' #

# And I stopped beside
a Sunday school #

# And listened to the songs
that they were singin' #

# Then I went on
down the road #

That's Mr. Brown?

That's him.

# A lonely bell was ringin' #

# And it echoed
through the canyon #

# Like a disappearin' dream
of yesterday #

# On a Sunday mornin'
sidewalk #

# I'm wishing, Lord,
that I was stoned #

# 'Cause there's somethin'
about a Sunday #

This looks good.

Help yourself.

Think it's all right?

Oh, sure.

I missed lunch.

Make yourself
at home.

D Half as lonesome
as the sound d

What is that?

Chili.

Yeah, looks good.

Have some.

Think it's all right?

Hmm.

# And Sunday mornin'
comin' down ##

Say, that's delicious.
I never tasted chili like that before.

That's a special recipe.
Made out of squirrel meat.

That good, ain't it?

Hmm.

Yeah, that explains it.

Hey, Luke. I thought you
were ridin' back with us.

Where have you been?

I've been
to get the cops

to find out
how you k*lled Edna.

You gone crazy?

You did it. You know you did it.
You k*lled both of them.

You're fired!
Get out of here!

You crazy?
Get him out of here!

What's the matter with you?

Give me that.

You crazy?

Get him out.

Boy.

Mr. Brown, I'm terribly sorry
about this.

Who are you?

I'm Lt. Columbo, I'm from the L.
A.P.D., Homicide.

Homicide?

What's he been
telling you about me?

Well, if we could just
talk privately.

There's nothing
to get excited about.

Just wanna ask
some routine questions.

There ain't no need
for everything to stop.

I'll be right back.

Let me see that guitar.
If he's busted that guitar,

I'll bust his neck.

Come on in here.

Nothing to get
excited about, folks.

Mr. Brown will be
right out.

What did he mean,
m*rder?

And why am I talking to
somebody from Homicide?

I feel terrible
about this, sir.

I mean, an awful thing
that was.

And, uh, there was just
no way for me to prevent

your brother-in-law from coming here.
Maybe I could have anticipated...

Okay! Just tell me what's it all about.
What's he saying?

It's nothing to get excited
about, sir, believe me.

You just have to understand that,
uh, when a member of the family

makes a complaint, well,
we just have to go through

certain formalities,
ask questions, and, uh,

make out a report...

And I guess this, all this,
looks kind of bad, huh?

This... this big house.
This party going on and everything?

No, sir. No, sir.
It's kind of refreshing.

You see, in my line of work,
homicide,

somebody is always,
well, dead.

That's the only way
to put it.

I mean, they don't even
call us in

unless that's what it is,
somebody dead.

So, naturally,
I see a lot of grief.

Now look, Lieutenant,

I'm not gonna try to tell you
that Edna and I didn't quarrel.

You can't... You can't go through a
day with Edna without quarreling.

You didn't know Edna.

The Crusade.
I was all for the Crusade.

It's just that I thought
a little something

ought to go to me
for what I do, you know.

I give it full,
I give it all my time.

The dirty hotel rooms...

Mr. Brown.
...the dirty dressing rooms,

the stale coffee...

Mr. Brown.

I'm not here to pry
into your personal life.

My personal life
is an open book.

Everybody knows
I've done time.

Yes, sir.

But what you've done
since you've gotten out

has been an inspiration
to a lot of people.

Then what are you
bugging me for?

Well, like I said, just ask
a few routine questions.

Well, I can come back
another time

when you're more settled.

Go ahead. Ask your questions.

Are you sure
it's all right?

Get it over with.

You don't mind?

Go right ahead.

I'll try and make it
very fast.

I was up there at the crash
site and I was talking to, uh,

that fellow Mr. Pangborn,
up there.

You want some coffee?

No, thank you very much.

We were both wondering

why your seatbelt
wasn't fastened

at the time of the crash.

Oh, that?

Well,

you see, when the power went
off, the lights went out.

And I reached across
to the glove compartment

to try to get a flashlight.

And to do that, I had to
unbuckle my seatbelt.

That's when I lost control.

Well, that explains it.

I'll tell Mr. Pangborn that

so that he won't bother you
about it, too.

Thanks.

What else can I
tell you now?

You have a pencil?

No.

That's all right,
I'll remember.

Oh, here we are.

The navigation kit.

What about it?

There were no ashes
in it, you see.

So, we were, uh, we were wondering
what happened to the charts

and, uh, and the maps
that were in it.

Well, when the power
went off,

the defroster quit working,
you see.

So, I slid open the window to
try to see where I was goin'

and the suction s-s-sucked
all the maps and papers

and everything
right out of the window.

Big suction.

I'll tell that
to Mr. Pangborn, too.

We were both wondering.

Thanks.
I... I appreciate that.

That does it.

You sure made me move,
Mr. Brown.

I never asked questions this
fast before in my life.

I always think
it's kind of impolite

to keep f*ring questions
at people.

If that's your job,
that's what you ought to do.

Mmm-hmm.

Sorry about
what happened out there.

And I sure hope your guitar is all right.
It's a beauty.

Yeah.

#

Not another guitar in the
world with a tone like that.

It's a great guitar.
Handmade.

When I take an airliner,

I get an extra seat
and sit it right beside me.

No kidding.

Yeah.

Lucky thing it wasn't on that
plane with you last night.

Yeah, I know,
that was a break, all right.

I'd been worried
about that.

Worried about
crashing with it?

No, about, uh,

about it coming unglued,
or cracking it

at high altitudes
in an unpressurized plane.

Look at this guitar.
You see the...

It's put together
with a very special glue.

Different pieces of wood.
It looks like one piece, but feel that belly.

Feel how smooth it is
on that back there.

Well, the changes
in pressure and altitude

can affect a good guitar
like that.

Ruin the tone.

So I told Luke
to put it on the bus.

You know, I'm very happy
you told me that.

Why's that?

Well, you know, that's what started
your brother-in-law thinking that

you had something to do
with murdering his sister.

The fact that you parted
with your guitar.

He said that was the first
time you ever did that.

Then I'm glad
I told you, too.

That winds it up.

We'll probably just go along with Mr.
Pangborn's report.

Hmm.

Mr. Pangborn's report
will make me look bad enough.

That's a lousy
piece of flying I did.

Well, let's hope
I stumble onto something

so it doesn't look
so much like pilot error.

And if I do,
I'll let you know.

You're not finished?

Oh, just a couple of things for my
own report down at headquarters.

Nothing to worry
you about, Mr. Brown.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

I appreciate
your taking the time.

Glad to. Let me know
when I can help you.

Right this way, sir.

Just step right on
that seat, Lieutenant.

Sir.

Just step right
on the seat there, sir.

Just watch your step,
sir.

You all right,
Lieutenant?

Thank you, sir.

##

Excuse me, uh...

Uh, excuse me.

Yes, sir.

Uh, I'm looking for someone
who might have been around

the night Tommy Brown
took off.

Who are you?

That's a good question.

Uh, police.

Yes, sir. That'd be Jeff.

He was on duty that night.

Thank you very much.

Excuse me.

Yeah?

Uh, L.A.P.D.

Yes, sir.

I'm investigating the Tommy
Brown airplane crash.

Oh, yeah.

I sure was sorry
to hear about that.

You're a fan of his?

Yes, sir. You?

Uh, well, my wife
more than me,

but I'm getting there.

I was wondering,

could you give me any
information about that flight?

Oh, well, I, uh,
I saw them off,

but I don't know anything
about that crash.

Right. Of course.

You know, we've got to check out
all these small little details.

They don't mean nothing.
So, uh,

now what did you... You say you saw them off.
What did you do?

Well, you know, I helped
with the luggage, uh,

pulled out the chocks,
that sort of thing.

Luggage.

What luggage?

Well, um,

the ladies had
a couple overnight bags.

And uh, Mr. Brown didn't have
nothing but his navigation kit.

Some gum?

No. Thank you very much.

You handled the luggage?

Uh, yes, sir.

Put it in the luggage
compartment back of the cabin.

Did you, uh...

You notice anything unusual
about the luggage?

Unusual?

Was it extra heavy or light,
anything like that?

Oh. Um, no.

Just luggage.

And the navigation kit,
was it heavy or light?

Oh, I don't know
about that.

Mr. Brown put that aboard
himself.

In the cabin?

Yes, sir.

Um, on the co-pilot's seat.

Wouldn't do much good
in the luggage compartment

unless you was a bird.

I guess so.

So the only thing
that was in the cabin

was the passengers
and the navigation kit?

Yeah. That's it.

Oh, well,
the thermos bottle.

That's probably nothing.

W-W-What do you mean,
thermos bottle?

Most pilots carry a thermos
of coffee aboard.

Was the thermos bottle
in the navigation kit?

Uh, no, sir.

Most likely wouldn't be
enough room for it,

with all the charts
and stuff.

No, Mr. Brown just, uh,
put it on the co-pilot's seat

next to the kit.

You've been a big help.

I have?

##

That's nice.

Tina, I'd like you
to take the arrangements

down to the arranger.

Be sure we get them back
in time, all right?

Then I want you to make
me out a big, long list

of things that
I can do for you

for being so nice
to Tommy Brown.

You afraid of me?

Uh, no.

Every time I get close,
you start backing up.

I... I guess I'm just
afraid of myself.

Is that all?

It's just so soon
about your wife.

Hmm.

I understand.

But do you understand

that Edna and I didn't
love each other, ever?

Don't say that.

Come on in,
it ain't locked.

Lt. Columbo.

Come right in,
rest yourself.

I'm not
interrupting anything?

No. Come in.

Hey, Tina, you better take
care of those errands, okay?

And don't forget
the last thing on the list.

What can I get you,
Lieutenant?

How about some
brandy or bourbon?

No, you look more like
a beer man.

Thank you, sir,
but I'm on duty.

Oh, yeah.
I almost forgot.

Hey, you hop around
pretty good on that.

Well, it takes more than a
busted leg to keep me down.

That lovely girl.

Who? Tina?

She really is.
She's beautiful.

And she's been a great help
to me through this time.

She admires you a lot.
I could see that.

Now, come on,
Lieutenant,

don't tell me
they got you back out here

chasing after
Luke's daydream.

I'm afraid so, sir.

If it was up to me,
I'd forget about it.

I'd go on
to something else.

You know
what the problem is?

You're a celebrity.

Because of you, my boss, he
won't let me close up this case

until I've covered
everything.

Every loose end
has got to be tied up.

It'll make you crazy.
So that's the problem.

That's a crying shame,
it really is.

A man with your talent...

Real K*llers
loose out there.

And they got you
chasing smoke.

What are you going to do?
That's the job, right?

You take the good
with the bad.

Uh, that reminds me.

Uh, you could help me
clear up some things.

Sure. I'd be glad to.

But let me get you something to eat.
You look hungry to me.

Oh, no, please. Thank you very much.
I just had lunch.

How about some coffee?

I had it with my lunch.

You're shaming me now,
Lieutenant.

You just won't let me do
anything for you.

Well, actually, sir, there is
something you can do for me.

Uh, you can answer
a few of these questions.

Sure. I'd be glad to.

First of all, uh,

the thermos.

The one you took
on the plane.

What about it?

Would you mind telling me,
sir, what you had in it?

Just some coffee.

Coffee.

Why? What does that
matter?

Well, they
couldn't find it.

The thermos.

At the crash site,
couldn't find it.

I checked
with Mr. Pangborn.

So?

Well, you see, everything else
in the plane was accounted for.

Well, does it really matter

what happened
to a thermos bottle?

Oh, I'm sure it doesn't
make a difference at all,

but, you see, uh,
like I was saying earlier,

see that's the kind
of loose end that, uh,

I got to tie up,
those tiny little things.

Otherwise, it won't let me
close the book on this case.

Yeah. I understand.

T-T-That's my problem.

I see what you mean.

Well, we'll just
have to come up

with the right answer
for them.

You know, something
to make them happy.

Yes.

I... l, uh, I just don't
know what to write.

Uh, I'll help you
all I can.

Well, if you could come up
with something, sir,

I'd certainly appreciate it.

Hey, why don't you just tell
them that the thermos b*rned up

in the plane crash,
like it probably did.

Well, you know,
I thought about that.

But, uh,
I checked with the lab.

And, uh, you see, a thermos
wouldn't be consumed by fire.

It's metal inside and glass.

Yeah.

That's a tough one,
all right.

Yes. I just can't come up
with an answer.

Well, you think
about this.

I was thrown clear
in the crash.

I got a busted leg
out of the deal.

But I was thrown clear.

And something
as light as a thermos

could be thrown
hundreds of feet.

Maybe it was thrown clear.

Thrown clear?

Yeah.

Not bad.

Not bad.

Thrown clear.

I knew sooner or later,

I was going to get to
help you some way.

Not bad.

Yeah. I think
they'll buy that.

Okay.

Listen. Thanks a lot.

You're welcome.
Glad to help.

Yeah. You've been
a big help.

Appreciate the time.

Okay.

All right.

Oh.

I don't know
what's the matter with me.

You know, the last time I was here,
I forgot to ask the question, too.

What's the matter
with me? Um,

where did you first
learn how to fly?

Lieutenant, I thought you knew
my whole life history by now.

Oh, no. No, uh.

You know, people think we have all
kinds of records on microfilms.

All we got to do is
push a button and...

Well, don't you?

Yes, we do,
but not everything.

Well, I learned to fly
over years ago

in the Air Force, a little.

I learned to fly a little.

A little.

Well, I got to admit.
I washed out of cadets.

Washed right flat out.

Of course, I got a civilian private
license after the Korean w*r.

Were you in that one?

Yeah. Were you?

Yeah. I was in that one.

But not in the Air Force.

No kidding. Let me guess
what you were in.

M.P.

K.P. mostly.

Where'd they put you after
you washed out as a cadet?

Oh, man, you know the service.
Whatever bad

was going around,
that's what I got.

Picking up butts,
latrine duty,

running errands for the C.O.,
whatever.

Oh, man, that service life
was something.

Anything else?

No, sir. That should
about do it. Thank you.

Go ahead. You can take that.
I'm finished.

Thank you, sir.

Yeah, hello.

All right. Put him on.

Hello, Sid, this is Tommy.

No. You heard right, Sid.

We're stopping the project.

We're stopping the building
on the tabernacle.

I don't know. Can't say.

Just pay everybody off
up to date.

Tell them we'll
get back to them, okay?

Right. Bye.

Excuse me, sir.

Lieutenant, if that
police career of yours

ever fizzles out,

you could always make it
as a cat burglar.

Oh, sorry.
You know what happened.

I saw this note
that I made here

that I meant to
ask you about.

Ask away, little buddy.

You know,
the reason I think I forgot

was because it was
filed under "pilot."

You know, for pilot error.

Mmm-hmm. What about it?

Uh,

did you call in for the weather
before you made that flight?

I sure did.
Every pilot does.

Well, according to the
Bakersfield Weather Bureau,

they anticipated a low ceiling
in Los Angeles.

If you'd left an hour earlier,
you would have missed it.

Well, you see,
I left later

because of the audiences
at Bakersfield.

They just wouldn't
let me off-stage.

They love that music
in Bakersfield.

Oh, they sure do.
I know that for a fact.

But your brother-in-law,

he told me that
you took a nap.

Yeah, I always take a nap
before I fly late at night,

especially
after a performance.

I was wiped out.

I know those desk jockeys
downtown are about to

drive you crazy
giving you a bad time.

I know how bad you hate to keep
asking all those stupid questions

that they send you
out here to ask.

I want you to tell them
one thing for me.

All those loose ends
that they think

they are tying up are going
to go nowhere, you see,

because Tommy Brown was on that
plane himself when it crashed

and if I'd been
up to no good,

I wouldn't risk
my own neck in the process.

I'm going to make that point
very clear to them, sir.

Hey, Columbo,
I want you tell those people

down at your office
one thing for me,

that I got nothing to hide.

And I guess you overheard me
on the phone.

Overheard you on the phone?
Oh, no, sir. No.

But I knew you were
stopping the project.

I spoke to the architects
this morning.

However, it's very helpful
to know your reasoning.

Thank you.

One of ours, sir?

Colonel.

Oh, sorry.

. I'd like to land
one of these babies.

This must be quite
a letdown for you.

What is?

R.O.T.C.

There's a job to
be done, Lieutenant,

and I'm the man to do it.

Brown.

Brown.

Brown, Thomas.

Oh, sure.

Never forget the lads
who served under me.

If not by name, by face.

He's out of Vietnam,
but I remember the face.

He served in
your outfit in Korea.

Oh.

What's happened to him?

He's Tommy Brown now.

Tommy Brown.

He's a big star.

Really?

Made it in the movies, huh?

No, sir.
Country and Western music.

Entertainment.
He's very big.

Oh.

Not that, uh, twist stuff?
That degenerate...

No, sir. Folk music.

Tommy Brown, he's a singer.

Good.

Just as long as
he isn't a pilot.

Washed out as a cadet
as I recall.

Transferred to my outfit.

Did you read about that private
plane crash the other night?

Oh, yeah.

He was the pilot.

The guy that
got thrown clear?

Yes, sir.

Never made the connection.

What did he do
in your outfit, sir?

Parachute rigging.

You mean he ran a machine
which rigged the parachute.

Not on your life,
Lieutenant.

It was done by hand.

A man folds his own.

Some things in life
don't change, Lieutenant.

Yes, sir.

May I use your telephone?

Keep it short.
Will you?

Never know when there might be an alert.
Absolutely.

I want the Medical
Examiner's office.

Lt. Columbo.

Columbo.

I'll wait.

It's really for
official business.

Do they still make them
out of silk?

Speaking to me?

"Hit the silk."
Is that just an...

It's just an expression.

The old barnstorming days.

Nylon. square yards of it,

and a parachute personnel
standard M- .

How fast does that
bring a man down?

feet per second. Average.

Isn't that pretty fast?

There's a proper way
to land, Lieutenant.

Hello? The Medical Examiner.

Lt. Columbo.

How big is this flag?

It's not a flag,
Lieutenant, it's a banner.

Eagles and stars
rampant on a field of blue.

The official emblem of
the United States Air Force.

How big is it?

square feet, why?

How much is that
in square yards?

You ought to know that,
Lieutenant.

Three square yards.

A parachute is
square yards?

Right.

times bigger
than this?

That's elementary,
Lieutenant.

Hello.

Yes, I am.

Hello?

Doctor. Yes.

This is Lt. Columbo.

I want to order an autopsy

on two deceased,
already interred.

Mrs. Edna Brown
and Miss Maryann Cobb.

# Just like a blind man
I wandered astray #

# Straight is the gate
and narrow the way #

# Then like the blind man
that got back his sight #

# Praise the Lord,
I saw the light #

Hey, Columbo.

Come on in.
Join the session.

I didn't ruin on the record
or anything?

There was no light on
so I just came in.

Playback. It's a concert
we did last night.

How do you like it?

Oh, good.

# Praise the Lord #

We were there.

At the concert?

My wife and I.
We were there.

# Clouds covered me.
I had no idea #

Hey! Hey!

You're really
coming on, Lieutenant.

D Then came the sunrise
and rolled back the night d

Bring it down a couple of
points there, will you, Bill?

# I saw the light #

# I saw the light #

# No more darkness,
no more night #

# Now I'm so happy,
no sorrow in sight #

# Praise the Lord #

What's the matter?

# I saw the light #

# Just like a blind man #

You opened your concert
with that song.

Yeah, I closed my show
with that song, too.

Number one on the charts.

Hey, there you go,
Lieutenant.

# that got back his sight #

You don't like it?

# I saw the light ##

No, oh, it's very good,
very popular.

You know, I hear it coming out
of cars, out of storefronts.

One kid had it
coming out of his pocket.

Right here.

But, uh, the sound is
different here.

And I noticed last night
at the concert...

Yeah, live audience.

That's why the different
sound, it's recorded live.

The one you've been
hearing around town

is a studio recording we did
a while back.

Oh.

Oh, that explains it.

You know, little buddy, there's
a question I'd like to ask you.

You ordered
my wife's body dug up, right?

That's correct, sir.
Both bodies.

And autopsies performed?

Yes, sir.

Expecting to find what?

Mr. Brown,
I don't think this is the...

That's quite all right, if you don't
mind answering that question.

Just what were you
expecting to find?

I don't know.

It's not an unusual
police procedure.

After an air crash?

Very often, to find out if
the pilot had a heart att*ck

or to find out if there was
any evidence of drug...

Lieutenant, I was the pilot
and I'm very much alive.

Yes, sir.

And that air safety guy,
what's his name?

Mr. Pangborn?

He ordered all kinds
of blood tests run.

Yes, sir,
they were all negative

and the EKG,
your heart, that was normal.

Which should make
you feel very good.

And the autopsy
showed nothing unusual?

No, sir. Nothing unusual.

I think I could have
told you that, Lieutenant.

Of course,
when I say nothing unusual,

what I mean is that, uh,

under, you know,
normal circumstances,

there would be
nothing unusual.

Just what are you
trying to say, Lieutenant?

Barbiturates, sir.

We found evidence of
barbiturates in both women.

And, uh,

according to their
religious beliefs,

they were prohibited from
taking any dr*gs or stimulants.

That's true.
But they used to get airsick.

So they took
an airsickness pill.

Yes, sir. But these barbiturates
were sleeping pills.

Sleeping pills work

just like airsickness pills
sometimes, Lieutenant.

Oh, really?
Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Well, that must explain that.
Oh, thank you very much.

Tommy, gonna feed you
the eight-track now.

##

Hey, Bill, k*ll it.

Anything else, Lieutenant?

No, sir.

Oh, uh...

Could I have a tape
of that concert?

Be in the stores,
a couple of months.

No, what I meant was
could I have an advance copy?

Why not?

Thank you very much.

May I...

Are your hands clean?
Let me see.

Oh, all right.

This is nylon, isn't it?

Yes.

I prefer cotton.
But people today, even our own people,

just don't want anything
that requires care.

Listen, I was wondering
if you could help me.

My name is Lt. Columbo.

I'm from the Los Angeles
Police Department.

Columbo,
that's an ltalian name.

Yes, ma'am, it is.

Uh, could you tell me
how much fabric...

My husband was
half ltalian.

And a wonderfully
warm man, too.

Just the way
ltalians are supposed to be.

Can you tell me, ma'am,
how many yards...

And he was
a naturally good singer, too.

Of course, he was thin

and he had this
little blonde moustache.

But he was half Scandinavian, so...
Yes.

Lt. Columbo,
are you with the Army?

Los Angeles
Police Department.

Oh.

Have we done something?

No, ma'am.
Not that I know of, no.

I'm just here...
I'm just part of an investigation.

Well, of what?
Are you with the vice squad?

I don't remember
having a good time.

No, ma'am. No, I'm not
with the vice squad.

I just wanted to ask you about
some of these lovely robes

that you and the ladies...

You want to know how many yards
it takes to make a robe.

Listen, that depends.

Now, you take Helen there,

it takes her four yards
of material to make a robe.

It only takes me two.

What does she do?
She makes the bigger sizes, does she?

Makes mistakes,
that what she does.

The poor little thing.

Once she did two left sides

and wondered why
it wouldn't button up.

Oh, she's a darling woman, but
she is not a good seamstress.

Let me ask you something,
dear.

You think I could
take a look at this?

Well, if you're careful.

Just for a minute.

Certainly. But be careful.
Thank you very much.

May I, please?
Sure.

Just go over that.

Oh, what are you doing?

How many square yards
in a roll like this?

Uh, be careful now, don't let
it go all the way to the end

or you'll soil it...

Well, you know, I'm curious
about the yardage.

You certainly are.

Could you show me what square
yards of this would look like?

In the first place, this is
not a roll, this is a bolt.

square yards,
wait a minute there.

That's yards by yards.

That's feet by feet.

This can't be
square yards.

It isn't even .

Do you have more?

Oh, yes, yes,
we have a reserve.

We are like
the industrious ants.

You know that story.

I kept a reserve stock
against rising prices.

Just a minute,
I'll show it to you.

Dear, oh, dear,
I meant to reorder...

Do you find
yourself forgetting?

Sometimes, ma'am,
yes, I do.

Could you tell me,

do you remember how much
you meant to reorder?

Oh, it's always the same.

How much is that?

Three bolts of nylon,
white, A- .

And how many yards
in a bolt, ?

No, .

, so there's only
yards missing.

Only square yards missing,
out of sheer forgetfulness.

And the prices
have surely risen

four or five cents a yard.

Why do I do that?
Forget, I mean.

Is it what they say it is?

Is it old age?

No. No. It's not that.

Who knows what it is,
but it's not that. Listen.

I want to thank you
very, very much.

You're welcome.

I appreciate talking to you.

It was nice to meet you.

Oh, my.

Now, Lieutenant, let's see
that navigation kit.

It fits.

Of course, there's no harness
attached to this.

You wouldn't get it in with a
conventional chute harness.

What about
an unconventional one?

What do you mean?

Something homemade.

Something homemade?

Yeah, it's possible.

What do you think?

You know as well as I do

that the diameter
of a standard chute

is substantially
larger than that.

Anybody jumping
in that would have

a much faster rate of descent
than normal.

Tight chutes in a parachute like
this, he goes down faster, right?

At least %%% faster.

Fatally faster?

Not necessarily.

The guy would
probably break something,

an arm, a leg or pelvis,
or something.

Be awful risky.

So is m*rder.

I know what you're getting at,

but I don't see how
you can ever prove

the guy jumped without
finding the chute.

Neither do I.

You see?

And if it was premeditated,

he'd certainly have
destroyed the chute.

Yeah, but how you gonna
destroy a parachute?

I mean, you can't risk
burning it.

You'll see the flames
no matter where he landed.

Okay, so he
hid it somewhere.

Buried it.
What are you gonna do?

Dig up that whole mountain?

Thank you very much.
Come on.

Your people...

You never found that
thermos bottle, did you?

No.

Hmm.

So, it must have been thrown out
sometime during the flight.

Could be.

Mmm.

If the pilot jumped,

just before
he crashed the plane,

he would land not too far
from the crash site.

Right?
Right.

But there's no indication

that he even took
a parachute aboard.

There is an indication,
Mr. Pangborn.

That empty
navigation kit.

That wouldn't hold
a conventional chute.

How about
an unconventional chute?

Well, all I can say is

he'd have to be
one expert chute man.

He was. I checked
his m*llitary record.

After he washed out
as a flying cadet

he became
a parachute rigger.

Well, it will still be
an awful lot of mountain

to search for anything
hidden or buried.

A lot of mountain.
Who could find it?

The guy that hid it.

Well, it was
the original version.

That's what I hear
coming out of the radio.

And then there's the version that you
recorded yesterday in the studio.

# I saw the light #

This is the original version.

# I saw the light #

# No more darkness,
no more night #

Mmm-hmm.

Now this is... is
the new version.

I hope I got it.

I know I had it.

I got it.

Bear with me, sir.

# I saw the light #

This is the new version.

Mmm-hmm.

# No more darkness ##

I noticed that
the arrangement was changed.

You got a good ear
for music.

Well, you know
I'm ltalian.

Yeah, I know.

Anyway, I spoke
to your arranger.

Nick Solecanto?

Yeah, that's him.

You know,
he's ltalian, too.

Yeah, I know.

So I asked him
was there a special reason

for you changing
the arrangements?

He said yes.

Maryann was a soprano,
Tina is a contralto.

Well, now, I could have
told you that myself.

I know, sir.
But I was afraid that my next question

might be a little
embarrassing to you.

I asked Mr. Solecanto:

"How long does it take to change
an arrangement like that?"

He said about a week.

And you wondered how I knew

I was going to need
a new arrangement

a week before Maryann
was k*lled, right?

Yes, sir.

That was
the embarrassing question.

Not embarrassing
at all, Columbo.

I knew it because I knew

I was going to replace Maryann
with Tina.

I liked her voice better
in the solos.

That's exactly
what I thought.

As a matter of fact,
I like her better myself.

But I wanted to hear
your explanation.

That's it.

Finished.

That definitely
closes the book on you, sir.

I'm glad to hear it.

My superiors
will have to agree

that I've been pretty thorough
on this case.

Mmm-hmm. You really have.

Um,

there's just
one other thing, sir.

What's that?

I'll explain it to you
in a minute.

May I use your telephone?

Go right ahead.

##

Milt? Columbo here.

Did you get in touch
with that Boy Scout troop?

Yeah, tomorrow's okay,
but they gotta start early.

How about
the Forest Ranger patrol

on the sheriff's
Mountain Squad?

They'll start tomorrow,
first thing?

Good.

Fine.

See you later.

Did that have
something to do with me?

Yes, sir. It did.

But I hesitate
to mention it.

Go right ahead.

Sir, did you drink
any of that coffee

that was in that
thermos bottle

that you took
on the flight?

No.

I didn't think so.

And if my hunch is correct,
you're a very lucky man.

What hunch?

The barbiturates
that turned up

in the autopsy on those
two women were a lot more

than anyone would ever take
for airsickness.

They were almost
a lethal dose

certainly enough
to knock somebody out.

No kidding?

If they were in that coffee,

they could have been
put there by somebody

who wanted to put you to sleep
at the controls.

Maybe somebody
wanted to k*ll you.

Now, why would anybody
want to k*ll me?

Mr. Brown, I don't know.
But you are a celebrity.

And there are a lot of
crackpots in the world.

And there is just no accounting
for people's reactions.

And sometimes I even wonder
about my wife.

Not that she is a crackpot,

but, uh, when she is listening
to your records,

uh, the way
she carries on.

But not like
she wants to k*ll me.

No, sir, just the opposite.

It's no laughing matter.

This can be serious.

Look, the only fingerprints
that should be on that thermos

are yours, your wife's,
and the girl's, right?

Right.

But if some guy thought
he was going to

put you to sleep
at the controls

and k*ll you
in a plane crash,

he might have gotten careless
with his fingerprints.

He might have left them
on that thermos bottle

when he spiked the coffee.

Lieutenant, man, you got
some kind of imagination.

You know that?

Still, when I get a hunch
down here and I ignore it,

I always regret it.

I am gonna put
a police guard on you

until I find
that thermos bottle.

You might never
find that thermos.

We're gonna find it.
You might be right.

It could've been thrown
a long distance away

when that plane crashed.

But between those Boy Scouts,
those Forest Rangers,

and the Sheriff's Squad,

we are gonna comb every inch
of that mountainside.

We'll comb it and comb it,

and then comb it some more,
till we find it.

In the meantime,

you're getting
a police guard.

Now, that's nice of you.
I really appreciate that.

But it won't be necessary,
Lieutenant.

I'm leaving on
a concert tour.

You're leaving, sir?

I sure am.

When are you leaving?

This afternoon.

For how long?

For months. I open tomorrow
night in San Francisco.

You are going to be gone
for months?

Mmm-hmm. I sure am.
Why, what's the matter?

Nothing, sir. No, uh...

I just wasn't prepared
for that, uh...

Well, it's surely been nice
knowing you, Lieutenant.

I've enjoyed
talking with you,

and I wish you
the best of luck.

Same to you, sir.

What time
is your plane?

: .

Have a good trip, sir.

Thank you.

Where to, Lieutenant?

Just pull around
the bend and park.

He says he's going out of town.
I don't believe him.

Yeah.

I planted a seed
that has to take.

He is gonna do something
in the mountains first.

Pull around the bend
and park.

All set, Tommy.

Hey, thanks a lot,
Chris.

See you in San Francisco.

Take it easy.

Looks like he's going,
all right.

Hey, Columbo!

Hey, what are you
doing here? Come here.

What are you doing
out here?

I followed you, sir,
to be honest with you.

You see,
I told my superiors

that someone might be
out to get you.

If anything happens to you
here in LA,

it's going to be my neck.

I thought it was my neck
you were interested in.

Oh, of course, yours, too.

But the fact is
I'm not going to rest easy

until I actually see you
on the plane.

I sure do
appreciate that.

That's mighty nice
of you.

You must have
some metal on you, sir.

If you'll just put it
in this tray here

and come through again.

Okay.

Hmm.

# And the beer I had
for breakfast #

##

# It wasn't bad #

##

# for dessert #

# Then I fumbled
in the closet ##

Thank you, sir.

You are welcome.

##

Hey, Columbo.

Keep law and order
while I'm gone.

I'll try, sir.

##

# Stumbled down the stairs
to meet the day ##

Hey!

Tell your wife
hello for me.

# On a Sunday morning
sidewalk #

# I'm wishing, Lord,
that I was stoned ##

Hey, mister.

Oh, L.A.P.D.

Did he go, sir?

He went.

That's him, in that one.

Well, you can't
win them all, Lieutenant.

I guess not.

I gotta call in.

Unit .

Do you want me
to drive you back?

I sent the officer
who brought me up here

back down for dinner.

I figured you and I would
be driving back together.

Nobody followed me
up here.

I made sure of that.

That's right, sir.

I was waiting for you
up there on that rock.

I gave you an hour to
fly to San Francisco

on that commuter.

I gave you half an hour
for a layoff,

and another hour
to fly back,

and an hour
to drive up here.

You knew I was
coming up here?

I knew.

Then I didn't know,
and then I knew.

When I planted that seed about
searching for the thermos bottle,

I called the Rangers
and the Boy Scouts,

I knew it was gonna worry
you and you'd come out here

and look for the parachute.

But when you
went to the airport,

and you got on the plane,

and when I saw
that plane fly away,

I thought you were gone.

Then I heard the keys.

Little tinkle of keys.

When you emptied your pockets
at the airport,

your keys were
with your pen,

your lighter
and something else.

But I remembered
the keys had a tag,

that tag.

Car rental tag.

Then I knew.

A man drives a rented car,

he takes his keys with him
on an airplane,

doesn't turn them in
at the airport,

I got to figure
he's coming back.

Aren't you afraid being up
here alone with a k*ller?

No, sir.

No, sir. I had a feeling
that sooner or later...

# Praise the Lord,
I saw the light #

Sooner or later you would have
confessed even if I hadn't caught you.

# I saw the light,
I saw the light #

Yeah, you are right,
Lieutenant. I would have...

# No more darkness,
no more night #

...because it was getting to
me, and I'm glad it's over.

Listen...

# Now I'm so happy,
no sorrow in sight #

...any man that can sing
like that can't be all bad.

# I saw the light,
I saw the light #

# No more darkness,
no more night #

# Now I'm so happy,
no sorrow in sight #

# Praise the Lord,
I saw the light #