01x01 - Chapter 1

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "House of Cards". Aired: February 1, 2013 – November 2, 2018.*
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Based on the 1989 novel of the same name about a Congressman and his equally conniving wife to exact revenge on the people who betrayed him.
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01x01 - Chapter 1

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, what are you doing?

Jesus. Did you get a good look?

Blue Toyota Camry, that's all I saw.

It's the Wartons' dog.

Oh, man.

It's not gonna make it.

Go see if they're home.

It's okay.

There are two kinds of pain.

The sort of pain that makes you strong

or useless pain, the sort of pain that's only suffering.

I have no patience for useless things.

Moments like this require someone who will act.

Who will do the unpleasant thing,

the necessary thing.

There.

No more pain.

It was a hit and run. I'm awfully sorry.

He must've jumped over the fence again.

Look, Steve is gonna file a report on the car. He'll put his people on it.

We'll track them down.

Stunning.

Shall we?

...three, two, one.

Happy New Year!

Oh.

President-elect Garrett Walker.

Do I like him? No.

Do I believe in him? That's beside the point.

Any politician that gets 70 million votes

has tapped into something larger than himself,

larger than even me, as much as I hate to admit it.

Look at that winning smile, those trusting eyes.

I latched onto him early on and made myself vital.

After 22 years in Congress, I can smell which way the wind is blowing.

Jim Matthews, his Right Honorable Vice President.

Former governor of Pennsylvania.

He did his duty in delivering the Keystone State, bless his heart.

Now they're about to put him out to pasture.

But he looks happy enough, doesn't he?

For some, it's simply the size of the chair.

Linda Vasquez, Walker's chief of staff. I got her hired.

She's a woman, check. And a Latina, check. But more important than that,

she's as tough as a two-dollar steak. Check, check, check.

When it comes to the White House,

you not only need the keys in your back-pocket,

you need the gatekeeper.

As for me, I'm just the lowly House Majority Whip.

I keep things moving in a Congress

choked by pettiness and lassitude.

My job is to clear the pipes and keep the sludge moving.

But I won't have to be a plumber much longer.

I've done my time. I've backed the right man.

Give and take.

Welcome to Washington.

You need a haircut.

You think?

A little trim.

What are you going to wear?

You mean for the meeting? For the announcement.

I'll wear my navy blue, the one with the pinstripes.

Good. You look handsome in that suit.

I don't know if they'll announce before your board meeting.

As long as I can say the donation is coming.

Soon as it's official, SanCorp will write you a check.

This is going to be a big year for us.

They're gonna want to start with something big.

That's why I'm here

Really? What?

I'd say immigration, banking or education.

But none of my regular sources can confirm that.

Because they don't know, or because they're not talking?

Because they don't know.

Keep at it. Get me something.

Sorry. Sorry, Mr. Hammerschmidt. Zoe.

Barnes. Right.

Did it take him a year to remember your name?

Longer.

Good morning, Lucas.

What can I do for you, Zoe?

I am sick of the Fairfax County Council.

You tell me every day.

Move me online.

My own blog.

First person. Subjective. 500 words.

Not gonna happen.

I'll go underground.

Back rooms, the urinals.

I'll win over staff members on the Hill.

They need a place to vent. A gossip column.

No. We lift the veil.

What's really going on.

This is The Washington Herald, Zoe, it's not TMZ.

Do you know how many people watch TMZ? I couldn't care less.

Which is why print journalism is dying.

Then it'll die with dignity. At least at this paper.

You're stuck in the 20th century, Lucas. You lack imagination.

Maybe so, but right now, I don't need imagination, I need copy.

Your nights and weekends are yours.

I applaud whatever you want to do,

as long as it's not on my time.

You're telling me to get back to work. I am.

What you're really telling me is to f*ck off.

I'm telling you both.

It's Mr. Chapman, already, from Province Trust.

Hold my calls, Christina.

Henry.

It's good to see you.

How long are you in town for? Just today.

You gotta come back down for the inauguration.

I can hook you up.

How about you hook me up with the zoning laws

you promised to get changed?

We've got 12 million sitting in escrow

for an empty lot we can't build on.

I know. But you gotta understand, it's a local municipal issue.

I can't just pick up the phone... You can't?

Because that's not what you led us to believe

when you begged for 50 grand in donations.

Right.

One sec.

Christina, I said no calls. Not while I'm meeting with Mr. Chapman.

The President-elect?

Do you mind?

No, go ahead, please.

Put him through, Christina.

Mr. President-elect.

Thank you. Yes, we were... We were pleased to win by double digits.

Absolutely, anything you need.

I need you to put your long, wet,

talented tongue between my thighs

and make me squeal like Monica...

Me too, me too.

Okay. Thank you, sir.

I'm so sorry. Where were we?

Walker, what's he like?

Is the President-elect running late?

No. He couldn't make it. I'll brief him, though.

Okay.

This is the memo I drafted

on our Middle East policy we've been developing.

Now, I wanna borrow from Reagan,

I'd like to coin the phrase "trickle-down diplomacy."

That way... Frank, I'm going to stop you there.

We're not nominating you for Secretary of State.

I know he made you a promise, but circumstances have changed.

The nature of promises, Linda,

is that they remain immune to changing circumstances.

Garrett has thought long and hard about this,

and he's decided we need you to stay in Congress.

When was this decision made?

And why wasn't I part of a conversation?

I'm sorry, Frank. If it had been up to me,

I wouldn't have waited this long to tell you.

So you knew you were going to do this.

It has been an evolving discussion.

It's a chicken-sh*t move.

Frank... I was vetted.

Was that a ruse? No.

Let's be absolutely clear.

You wouldn't have won without me.

You're right. But now we have to lead,

and that means making tough choices.

As you know, education is a top priority for us.

A complete federal overhaul.

But it's not just education, Frank. Congress is split.

We need you there more than we need you in the State Department.

I got you hired, Linda.

I know. Donations, endorsements.

I wrote the campaign's entire foreign policy platform.

I bring years of foreign affairs committee...

Frank, please.

I wanna speak to Walker personally.

The decision is made.

We need you, Frank.

Will you stand beside us or not?

Of course. If that's what the President wants.

I'm very glad to hear that.

I'm curious. If not me, then who?

Michael Kern.

Well, that is an excellent choice.

Can we make it more clear?

I just want to make sure it doesn't look like

we're neglecting our domestic...

No. No, no, no. I'm gonna say that we're expanding our mission.

Okay.

And we're bringing on a new organization to help us.

Do you know which one yet?

I'm still looking into a few options, but...

Tell me, what did we agree on, that we could hire how many new people?

Six? Six, maybe seven.

We'll have enough.

It's exciting.

This new direction we're heading.

I just don't know where we're going to fit all the people.

Do you think we have to look into additional space?

No, no, no, no. I'll find a way.

Okay, so make the changes to the PowerPoint

and let's meet again at 2:30.

Okay.

It's me.

I feel like an idiot leaving messages like this.

Call me back.

What is it, Zoe?

Um...

I know you're going to have your hands full at the White House,

so if you need someone to do research or punch out background...

I think I'll be fine.

Well, if things get hectic, and you need any help.

So you can blog about rubbing shoulders with the big boys?

What did Lucas tell you?

Look, no offense, Zoe, but I don't have time

to be anyone's training wheels.

I just thought...

No, I was actually offering to lend a hand.

That's it. Got it. Thanks.

Claire... You didn't call.

I was... You didn't call me, Francis.

Nine hours. You don't not call me.

Not when it's this big.

You're right.

When have we ever avoided each other?

I wanted a solution first.

Do you have one?

Not yet.

This affects me too, Francis.

And it's not the money I'm upset about.

It's that we do things together.

When you don't involve me, we're in free fall.

I should have called you and I didn't.

What happened?

She says they need to keep me in Congress.

Linda said that?

Walker wasn't even there.

That's what really gets me.

He didn't have the courage to look me in the eye...

I knew you shouldn't trust that woman.

I didn't. I don't. I don't trust anyone.

Then how could you not see this coming?

I never thought they were capable.

You don't usually underestimate people, Francis.

I know.

Hubris. Ambition.

You should be angry.

I'm livid.

Then where is that? I don't see it.

What do you want me to do?

Scream and yell? Throw a tantrum?

I want more than I'm seeing. You're better than this, Francis.

Well, I'm sorry, Claire.

I am sorry.

No. That I won't accept.

What? Apologies.

My husband doesn't apologize, even to me.

How long have you been up?

Hours.

I know what I have to do.

Good.

We'll have a lot of nights like this,

making plans, very little sleep.

I expected that. That doesn't worry me.

I better get to work.

I laid a suit out for you upstairs.

The navy blue one.

I love that woman. I love her more than sharks love blood.

Why do you think they went with him?

We're too good. They can't afford to lose us in Congress.

He's had work done. A chin tuck probably. He definitely dyes his hair.

Do we say anything?

No. God, no. Not unless he brings it up.

Nancy?

9:25... Cancel everything.

Stamper, you're with me.

Now, look...

They've done us a great favor, Doug.

We are no longer bound by allegiances.

We serve no one.

We live by one rule and one rule only,

never again will we allow ourselves to be put in such a position.

Walker and Vasquez.

All of them. I hold them all accountable.

Retribution? No.

No. It's more than that.

Take a step back.

Look at the bigger picture.

I think I see what you're getting at. Kern first?

That's how you devour a whale, Doug. One bite at a time.

Who would you want? For Secretary of State?

Give me a list of choices. And however we do this,

we'll also need a buffer.

You mean an errand boy? Yes.

Somebody we control completely.

I'll keep my ear to the ground. Good.

I haven't eaten since yesterday.

I almost pity him.

He didn't choose to be put on my platter.

When I carve him up and toss him to the dogs,

only then will he confront that brutal, inescapable truth.

"My God, all I ever amounted to was chitlins."

"And he that shall humble himself shall be exalted."

Matthew 23:12.

Thanks be to God.

I'd like to speak today on the subject of humility.

A lot of you have just won re-election.

If you hadn't, you might not be sitting here.

And of course, we should enjoy our success, and be grateful for it.

But never let your gratitude sour into pride.

You'll have many challenges ahead over the next couple of years.

And a person's character isn't determined

by how he or she enjoys victory,

but rather how he or she endures defeat.

Nothing can help us endure dark times better than our faith.

Claire.

Hello, Felicity.

How are you? Good. How are you?

Good. I'm sorry about that. It's just not right.

Charles and I can't understand what Walker was thinking.

That's very sweet of you, but really, between you and me,

I think Francis is relieved.

He just feels much more at home in Congress.

I would've bet a million dollars they were going to pick you.

Well, it's a good thing you have a million dollars to spare.

But you are by far and away the only choice.

I appreciate you saying that.

I mean, Michael? Come on.

He's got half the experience you do...

Garrett is a smart man.

He knows what he's doing.

You're a bigger man than I, Frank.

You want some of that wine?

Yes, definitely.

Man, this is some good sh*t. Where did you get it?

I kind of lifted it from the VIP room

of the Speakers' holiday party.

I'm impressed. Bordeaux, 20 years old.

It seemed about right for you. Ouch.

Why would you say that to me?

I'm almost 30. That's practically ancient in your book.

I don't discriminate when it comes to age. Really?

When's the last time you hired a 40-year-old staffer?

Doesn't mean I wouldn't.

As long as she's good in the sack.

Come on.

Well, it's true, isn't it?

Where's this coming from?

You're not gonna just toss me aside

for some slut straight out of Vassar?

So we're having that conversation.

It's been six months. It's not a little office fling anymore.

You want me to say those three magic words.

One of which starts with an L.

Okay, I'll say 'em.

Christina Gallagher,

lick my balls.

Oh, my... You're a bastard.

I love you.

I love you, Christina.

I love you.

Now will you lick my balls?

So I'm curious. Are we patrons, benefactors or lepers?

Believe it or not, we're angels.

I'm gonna go outside and pretend to use my cell phone.

Go.

Oh!

Can I have your jacket?

Yeah.

Okay.

Are you coming to bed?

I'll be up in a bit.

Don't stay up all night.

No, I'll be right there.

Thanks so much. I'll call you.

Wait. I thought you had a good time.

I did. I loved it. I've never been before.

Well, maybe I could come up.

Oh.

Brian, you're so sweet. Really.

But if I was going to f*ck you, you'd know.

Thanks so much.

She's here. Send her in.

It's quite rare for a president's chief of staff to climb the Hill.

A gesture of respect, no doubt, or desperation.

I'm guessing she'll say Donald Blythe for Education.

Let's see if I'm right.

Good morning, Linda.

Thank you so much for making the trip up.

Of course. My pleasure.

Education?

First things first.

The seating chart for the inauguration.

How do these two work for you and Claire?

Wow.

They come with a complimentary set

of tickets to the Jefferson Ball.

Claire will be over the moon.

Good, I'm so glad.

So, education.

We have Donald Blythe drafting the legislation.

Donald Blythe? Jesus. I know.

So you want a bill just two steps left of Karl Marx?

I advised the President-elect against it,

but Donald is the face of education.

He's been pushing reform for 25 years.

You want me to guide him to the middle.

We need a bill we can pass.

Do I have absolute autonomy and authority on this?

There's more.

Garrett wants the bill on the floor in the first 100 days.

He wants to make a pledge in his inaugural address.

That's...

That's very ambitious, Linda.

Can we make that pledge?

A hundred days?

I can deliver.

Keep me posted.

I'll talk with Donald. I'll check in with you later in the week.

Terrific.

Did you smell that?

The smugness? The false deference?

She thinks I can be bought with a pair of tickets. What am I?

A whore in post-w*r Berlin

salivating over free stockings and chocolate?

What she's asking will cost far more than that.

Ferguson? Too old.

Willis? Too stupid.

Boyd? Too q*eer.

Really?

He's married with three kids.

And wouldn't they be devastated.

All right.

What about Catherine Durant?

Cathy Durant. She was vocally anti-Walker.

She's got the experience.

Set up a meeting.

Hey.

The donation from SanCorp?

The money will have to come from somewhere else.

What happened?

I've looked over the budget for fiscal '13

and we've allocated $1.6 million for salaries.

We need to cut that in half.

You're suggesting...

Evelyn, we're going to let some people go.

That would be half of our staff.

We have to carve out some room.

You would have to fire some essential people

who have been with us since the beginning.

We are a charity, but not for our employees.

You know, Claire, I've held my tongue about

this whole international thing for a while,

but I don't get it.

We are really good at what we do.

Why do we have to try and be something we're not?

Because we've plateaued, Evelyn.

And it is time for us, for our entire organization...

But digging wells in Africa? We don't know anything about that.

Which is why we have to bring in new people.

This is the plan that I've proposed to the board

and we are moving forward with it.

I'd like a list of names, please.

Claire, can we just think about this?

I have thought about it. I've put a lot of thought into it.

But I think...

Evelyn, you're the office manager.

I need you to trust that I know what I'm doing.

So please get me that list as soon as possible.

Ma'am. You can't go up. I'm sorry.

I just have one question. No. No.

Sir, I apologize, this woman... Congressman.

Miss, you need to step away from the door.

If I could just have one second. Step away from the...

Who are you?

My name is Zoe Barnes. I'm a reporter at the Washington Herald.

It is after 10:30 at night and this is my home.

I do not allow... We're part of a mutual admiration society.

You're a fan of the symphony.

More for the people-watching than the music.

It's all right, Steve. Come on in, Ms. Barnes.

It's strong.

You'd prefer it weak?

No, the stronger the better.

There's no harm in looking.

That's a cheap ploy.

It's cheap but effective.

Well, you certainly have my undivided attention.

Good, the reason I'm here... Oh...

Is foreplay over?

I read somewhere that JFK never lasted more than three minutes.

The point being?

Time is precious.

Powerful people don't have the luxury of foreplay.

Okay. So why are you here, Ms. Barnes?

I need somebody I can talk to.

We're talking. Tell me what we're talking about.

I protect your identity, I print whatever you tell me.

And I'll never ask any questions.

And what makes you think I don't already have such an arrangement

with one of your colleagues?

Because if you did, you wouldn't have let me through the door.

I've led a very long, very successful career

avoiding this sort of intrigue with the press.

I can't see any advantage in starting now.

But is there any disadvantage?

Sloppiness, for one.

I promise you absolute discretion.

So we're talking about trust.

Use whatever word you like.

Words matter very much, Ms. Barnes.

You should care more about them, given your profession.

Then yes, your trust.

So which Zoe Barnes am I to trust?

The one who wrote about the fireman that married the meter maid?

Or the one who authored a very fine article

on a new jogging path in Rock Creek Park.

Don't be flattered. I read everything.

I'm better than what they have me doing.

You know what that feels like.

Do I?

You would have made a great Secretary of State.

How exactly may I help you, Ms. Barnes?

You must know the administration's legislative agenda.

What's coming up first. I may.

Will you tell me?

What would be your guess?

Education. Why?

Immigration is too controversial. Tax-reform isn't sexy enough.

Everyone can get behind children.

Is it education?

You might very well think that. I couldn't possibly comment.

A hint.

It's late, Ms. Barnes.

Can we talk again?

I hope you'll understand that I want to sleep on all this.

I never make such big decisions

so long after sunset and so far from dawn.

My cell phone's on the back.

Did you put Ms. Barnes in the visitors' ledger?

Not yet. Don't.

Needless to say. Needless.

Hello.

Claire, this is Ms. Zoe Barnes, of the Washington Herald.

She was just leaving.

Very nice to meet you, Mrs. Underwood.

Drive safe. There's a lot of ice on the road.

I will. Thank you.

Does that work on anybody?

Does what?

The push-up bra and the V-neck tee?

Well, if it does, I don't know who they are.

Okay. Relax, relax.

License and registration.

The glove compartment, sweetheart.

This isn't your driver's license. It's a Starbucks card.

Oh, sh*t. Sorry.

Sir, have you been drinking?

No, I never drink coffee at this hour.

I'm going to need you to step out of the car.

If I was speeding, you can write me a ticket...

Sir, step out of the car right now.

Look, I don't want to be a prick, but I'm a member of Congress.

I don't care if you're the King of China.

China doesn't have a king.

It's a communist ogliwarchy...

Let's go. Out. You too, sweetie.

f*ck, that is hard to say.

Hello?

Good. Well, let's get him out.

Mind if I join you?

What the f*ck is going on?

I thought I was meeting...

No. You're meeting me.

It's 4:00 in the g*dd*mn morning.

I've got a city council meeting in...

You've been police commissioner for what, almost a decade now?

We're here to talk about my resume?

Mayor of D.C. would look good on that resume, wouldn't it?

We know that you've been angling to run for some time.

Experience is your strong suit.

Endorsement and fundraising are not.

We can help with that.

Russo, you're free to go.

It was just a few drinks.

It was enough to get pulled over.

I wasn't drunk-drunk.

Were you alone?

Yes.

Say it to my face. Watch the road.

Say it to my face!

Yes, I was alone!

You cannot keep doing this, Peter.

It's going to catch up with you.

I know.

Do you think we can arrange two more

at our table for the Jefferson Ball?

For whom? The Holburns.

Why on earth would you want them there?

I'm going to need her money for the CWI.

The staff cuts are just not enough.

I'll talk to Vasquez.

How're we doing? Good.

Progress. Irons in the fire.

I like irons.

But I love fire.

Yes...

What are you...

The bill is garbage, Donald.

Tax increases? Ban on vouchers? Federal oversight?

How do you expect me to get that through a committee?

When Linda told me to write it, she promised...

I'm sure she said any number of things.

Forget what they promised you, Donald.

They want your name because it carries weight.

Well, my name comes with my ideas.

I understand, but you've got to be reasonable.

This isn't the Great Debate.

It's about passing meaningful reform.

Maybe not everything you would hope. But help me help you.

That's going to take time.

Those ideas, I've been developing them for...

If it's time you need, I will buy you time.

But you've got to promise me your next at bat

is gonna give me something I can work with.

Okay, Frank, I'll see what I can do.

Good. And, Donald, don't let this get you down.

Together, we're going to do more

than you've been able to do in 25 years.

Two things are now irrelevant.

Donald Blythe and Donald Blythe's new draft.

Eventually, I'll have to re-write the bill myself.

Forward, that is the battle-cry.

Leave ideology to the arm-chair generals. It does me no good.

Walker just nominated Kern.

It's a long road to confirmation.

Kern is a boy scout.

Nobody's a boy scout. Not even Boy Scouts.

What do you have? Absolutely nothing.

Then what are we talking about?

Just asking a simple question, does the job interest you?

Why would you want Michael gone?

Cathy, you and I came up together.

The Foreign Affairs Committee needs a secretary we can work with.

Someone who isn't afraid to stand up to Walker when he's wrong.

We need you.

Let's assume I am interested.

I don't want to assume. I want to know.

2... Okay. 2-6-3-7.

Please hold. Zoe Barnes.

Anywhere you want.

On my way. I'll gonna have to call you back.

I'm so sorry. I couldn't catch a cab. I had to take a train and I...

Just before you left my house.

Think back. What were we discussing?

The president's legislative agenda.

Specifically.

Education.

Was I right? Do the math, Ms. Barnes.

He needs a bill.

Sponsored by?

You? Be smarter than that.

Somebody with legitimacy. Good.

And who screams "legitimacy" in Education?

Donald Blythe? Correct.

The problem is...

He's an old-school tax-and-spend liberal.

Walker ran as a moderate.

You think Blythe would talk to me?

He doesn't have to.

Wait...

We're in a very gray area, ethically, legally, which I'm okay with...

I just love this painting, don't you?

We're in the same boat now, Zoe.

Take care not to tip it over. I can only save one of us from drowning.

He announces his education initiative on Monday.

Half of the address is...

I understand.

Do we need to take it out?

We're fine, Linda.

But you just got through saying he has to start over.

I didn't choose Blythe. You did.

You put him in my lap and asked me to work a miracle, and I will.

Now, have a little faith, Linda.

Let me work with Donald on this.

I know what can be accomplished in 100 days.

All right, Frank, we're counting on you.

Good.

Now, I do have a little favor to ask.

Do you think I can get just two more tickets

for my table at the Jefferson Ball?

Drink?

Sure, what do you got?

Whiskey. Blends.

If you're offering.

So, how are things in the City of Brotherly Love?

We're getting by.

Good, good.

I'm sorry, I made that neat. Did you want...

No, this is perfect.

So, it seems you've been a bit irresponsible.

What?

Don't play dumb with me, Peter.

Save it for the ethics committee.

Drink up, you could use a little courage right now.

You're not having one?

It's a bit early in the day for me.

Is this about the other night?

How do you know about that?

I'm the Whip. It's my job to know.

Look, they let me off. There's no charges.

It's all taken care of.

Honestly, Peter, do you really think

these things just take care of themselves?

You...

It was just this one time, Frank. I swear to God.

Then you must hold God in very low esteem,

because we both know that's a lie.

Solicitation, controlled substances,

driving under the influence...

You've got quite a long list of hobbies.

What is it you want?

Your absolute, unquestioning loyalty.

Always.

Do not misunderstand what I mean by loyalty.

Anything. Name it, Frank.

You seem far too relaxed.

I'm not.

You shouldn't be.

Doug will be in touch.

Hang on. Where have you been? I've been calling you.

Everybody's working double-time on inauguration

and you just up and disappear...

Hang on.

Let me call you back.

Where did you get this? Wrong question.

The right question is how quickly can we get it up on the site?

I have to run this past Tom.

Let's get legal on this, make sure we're not breaking any laws.

You won't tell me your source?

I can't do that.

Fine. But if legal finds even one... I understand.

How long do you think that will take?

We should get this online right away.

I'm not just going to scan a 300-page document

and put it up before we've gone through every...

I did that already.

The whole thing? Cover to cover.

I've got excerpts. Analysis. 3,000 words ready for editing.

You start going over that.

Get graphics working on tables, charts, the whole nine yards.

Janine!

What's the angle, five words?

Far left of center.

That's four.

Very far left of center.

Enough to put Walker on his heels?

f*ck his heels. This will put him on his ass.

What's up?

We've got a copy of the administration's education bill.

You're going to work with Zoe, do background copy.

Zoe Barnes? Right here.

Whatever she needs.

Shouldn't I be writing the...

She wrote it already.

And I want you to re-write it, then re-write it again. You'll help her.

Tom, I'm your chief political correspondent. Go.

I want this by tomorrow.

But I need to focus on the inauguration.

This is more important.

Let's get started.

...that I will faithfully execute the office

of President of the United States.

"...that I will faithfully execute the office..."

Power is a lot like real estate.

It's all about location, location, location.

The closer you are to the source,

the higher your property value.

Centuries from now, when people watch this footage,

who will they see smiling just at the edge of the frame?

"So help me God."

Congratulations.

Today is not about the next four years.

It's about the next four decades.

You've placed your faith in me,

and I, in turn, choose to place that faith in our children.

Our children are the key to this nation's future,

and that's why the first order of business for this administration

will be a comprehensive education reform bill

to properly fix, finance and strengthen our nation's schools.

And I pledge to you,

we will have that bill on the floor of the Congress

within the first 100 days of this administration.

It was so nice of you to make this possible.

When you called me, I was...

Not another word.

I'm going to miss out on my ultimate Frisbee league this season.

No, I'm serious.

A few of us on Budget have quite a rivalry

going with the guys on Finance.

It's fierce. We get physical.

Anybody gets between me and that goal line, I will take that sucker down.

Donald, I've been looking for you everywhere, maestro.

Yeah. Let me help you out there.

I really like the work you've done on the new draft.

It's a big step forward. We're going to make history together.

Thanks for your encouragement, Francis.

Listen, I've got some ideas about subsidies...

Catherine! Hold on to that thought, Donald.

Don't you look stunning.

We Southern girls clean up well

when we get out of our Daisy Dukes and into some Vera Wang.

And we Southern boys are slow with our words, but we're fast on our feet.

May I have the honor?

You most certainly may.

Morning, Freddy. Mornin', Frank.

How's tricks? Can't kick.

You want to go on in? No, why don't you set me up outside?

Outside? It's freezing out here.

Well, a little cold never hurt anybody.

Anything you say, Frank.

It'll be right up.

My one guilty pleasure is a good rack of ribs. Even at 7:30 in the morning.

I have the whole place to myself.

Freddy sometimes opens up just for me.

Where I come from in South Carolina,

people didn't have two pennies to rub together.

A rack of ribs was a luxury, like...

...Christmas in July.

This web traffic is absolutely crazy.

...blue Camry's wanted in connection to a canine hit-and-run.

Hey, is this your car?

What's going on?

You want seconds, Frank?

I better not.

Tell you what, Freddy. Yes, I will.

I'm feeling hungry today.
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