12x20 - Sauce Side Story

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Bob's Burgers". Aired January 2011 - current.*
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"Bob's Burgers" revolves around Bob who own a hamburger restaurant, and his family. Bob's burgers are really delicious and appear to be better than his rivals' but when it comes to selling burgers, his kids aren't really helpful, as more customers head over to their competitor.
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12x20 - Sauce Side Story

Post by bunniefuu »

(BOB PANTING)

I'm whipping you so hard.
Turn into cream!

- Get a room, you two.
- We did get a room, Gene.

It's called the kitchen.

I'm making whipped cream for your mom

for her Mother's Day waffles,

which you kids are supposed
to be helping me with.

Sorry, Dad. We have our hands full.
Tina had to make a card,

we had to tell her to make the card.

- Tina, let's see it.
- Read it and weep.

Or lightly chuckle
because it's pretty funny.

It's a drawing of a mushroom cloud

and all of us flying
through the air, and it says,

- "You dropped a mom on us"?
- Pretty good, right?

Yeah, but you made this
exact same card two years ago.

Damn it, I knew it felt familiar.

We got to think of
something else, and quick.

- LINDA: Think of what?
- Uh...

KIDS: Happy Mother's Day!

- Aw, thanks.
- Ugh. Happy Mother's Day, Lin.

- Wow, you're sweaty.
- What's in the box?

- Is it a tiny little David Blaine?
- Eh, I was thinking about my mother.

And then I started to
think about my grandmother,

and I wanted to find a picture
of her, and I found this.

A box full of old family stuff.

"Old family stuff." Those
are three exciting words.

I wanted to look through it
while we have Mother's Day breakfast.

Aw, here she is. My
sweet Grandma Claudia.

Oh, I just loved her so
much. Ooh, family tree.

Let's see what we have here.

- Any celebrities or criminals?
- Portia de Rossi?

Oh, that says "Peter DeRosa."

Still though, pretty cool.

LOUISE: Wait, why is this
whole section crossed out?

Oh, that's because of the feud.

Wha-Wha-What? A feud?

Something interesting
happened in our family?

I think you're forgetting about
Dad's uncle with huge feet.

Oh, yeah, Uncle Frank. Good swimmer.

Well, it's kind of a long
story, but I'll tell you.

This thing started
way before I was born.

My great-grandma Maria had four kids,

and they didn't have a lot of money.

One of them, Tony,
worked down at the docks.


And he was trying to save up to
buy his dream house in Staten Island.


GENE: I think Billy Joel
wrote a song about that.


LINDA: But Joey, the baby of
the family, married a rich girl.


I think her father
invented the raincoat.


- Probably not.
- Shush!

And then Joey and his new rich wife

bought Tony's dream
house before Tony could!


- Damn.
- So, is that why someone crossed

all of Joey's family
out on the family tree?

No. There's more.

You see, Joey invited the family over

to his new house for dinner.

And my great-grandmother Maria

brought over her famous Bolognese sauce.

(WHISPERS LOUDLY): Say
more about the sauce.

- (WHISPERS): It was delicious, Gene.
- I knew it.

(NORMAL VOICE): And then it happened.

- (GASPS)
- I didn't say what it was yet.

Sorry, it's just tense.

LINDA: So, they're eating dinner,

and Joey is just laughing and laughing

about how great his new house is.

But as he reaches for
the Parmesan cheese,


Tony goes in with his
fork to get more pasta


and accidentally stabs Joey in the hand!

LOUISE: Yes! He forked him!

- (GASPS)
- Joey and his sister Paulina

thought Tony forked him on purpose

because Joey bought Tony's dream house

with Daniela's stupid raincoat money.

- It-it couldn't have been raincoat.
- It was.

But Tony swore that it was an accident,

and his sister Claudia, my sweet
little grandmother, believed him.


Joey throws Tony out of the house.

Claudia and her husband Burt,
my grandfather, go with him.


And here's the kicker:
it's pouring rain.


None of them have raincoats.
They all get wet.


From that moment on, you were
either Team Tony or Team Joey.

- So we're on team... ?
- Tony. All the way.

- And Tony's the one who... ?
- Accidentally forked that jerk Joey.

You never met any Team Joeys

'cause we stopped talking
to them, 'cause they're dumb.

And you want to know the worst part?

Then the Great Depression happened?

No. After my lovely
great-grandmother Maria passed,

dumb Joey, his wife
Daniela and their idiot kid

went over to her house,
went through all her stuff

and stole the only written-down copy

of Grandma Maria's
famous Bolognese recipe.

They did what?!

My Grandma Claudia knew how to make it,

and she used to make it for me,

and it was delicious, but she d*ed,

and so now I can only taste
the sauce in my memories.

- In your mammaries?
- Gene.

So now the only people who know

how to make it are those cold-hearted,

house-stealing Team Joey people.

(SINGSONGY): Who wants waffles
with homemade whipped cream?

- I do.
- I mean, sort of whipped.

It's really hard to do. My wrist hurts.

- Anyway, here you go.
- Oh.

Ew. Did you just pour
milk on her waffles?

Damn it. The kids didn't help at all.

Because we're, uh, doing
our own thing for Mom.

- We're giving it to her later.
- We are?

Yes. And it's really, really great.

- Wait, did I miss a meeting?
- (SIGHS) Ignore Tina.

Why don't we focus on Dad's
wet milk waffles for now.

(SIGHS) I'll make you new ones.

- Gene will eat those.
- Yay! Floppy waffles.

Floppy, floppy, floppy,
floppy. (SPUTTERS LIPS)

So, Teddy, what'd you get
your mom for Mother's Day?

Well, you know how
she's pretty tatted up?

What? No.

Yeah, well, she's got
a tattoo that she hates,

so I booked her an appointment
at a laser tattoo removal place.

- Okay.
- But it's kind of expensive.

- How expensive?
- Well, it's $ a visit,

and it can take a bunch of visits.

Which I wasn't totally aware of

when I was signing her
up for the first lasering.

- That's a lot of money.
- I know.

- But she really wants it gone.
- Why?

- What-What's it a tattoo of?
- Uh, I'll show you.

Here, check a look. It's
on her upper, upper thigh.

BOB: Oh. Gr-Great.

So, it's a tattoo of a
bunch of playing cards?

It's a gin rummy thing.
She was in a group,

and I guess they all
got the same tattoo.

- Aw, gin rummy chummies.
- (DOOR OPENS)

- Well, not anymore.
- (DOOR CLOSES)

My mom plays with, let's
say, a lot of flare.

- And by "flare," I mean rage.
- Your mom sounds intense.

- She's passionate, Bob.
- Wait, I have an idea.

Maybe she doesn't have
to remove her tattoo.

Why doesn't she just add
to what's already there?

Make it into something
else? I bet that's cheaper.

- I mean, probably?
- Hey, we should brainstorm.

- Ooh, we can use the chalkboard.
- Oh, uh... Heh.

That's where I put the Burger
of the Day that I wrote,

carefully, so people know what it is.

And you erased it.

This is just for a
minute. I'll remember it.

- It was a something-something burger.
- Yup.

(QUIETLY): So, what
are we getting for Mom?

- A different card from Tina?
- Oh, okay. Lot of pressure.

- Wait. O-mama bin Lovin'?
- That's been done.

No. What we're gonna do is

get that old family sauce recipe
and we're gonna cook it for Mom

and give her the greatest
Mother's Day dinner of all time.

- You had me at "sauce."
- Where are we gonna get the recipe?

I found out where Lorraine lives.

- Who's Lorraine?
- Joey's daughter.

Got it. Who's Joey again?

He's Great-Grandma Claudia's
brother. Just look at this.

Mom said Joey took the recipe.

Since he's passed on,
smart money is that

his only daughter, Lorraine, has it now.

Guess what. She lives in Bottom Hook,

- which is only eight miles away.
- Yes. Louise, this is such a good idea.

- I know.
- Wait, how are we gonna get there?

- No clue.
- You kids help out around here, right?

I-I'm just checking because

sometimes it feels like
you don't help out at all.

- We're taking a hiatus.
- Dad, just shush.

We think we found where
the sauce recipe might be.

It's only eight miles away at
Mom's cousin Lorraine's house.

Go get your car keys.

Oh, that's actually a really sweet idea,

but we can't leave your mom alone
in the restaurant on Mother's Day.

- (QUIETLY): Boo.
- Don't boo me.

Look, maybe you guys can
save this idea for next year.

- (QUIETLY): Boo.
- Stop booing me.

- What if we get another ride?
- Do you know someone with a car?

And don't say Ken because he's not real.

He is real and he's a very good driver,

but he's getting his Jeep lowered today.

(GASPS) I think I might know
someone who could take us.

Is it someone we know and trust?

It's someone we know.

So I got my license un-suspended,

then they said I needed
to take the eye test again,

but I was like, "Nah,
this prescription is fine."

- Oh!
- (TIRES SCREECH)

- (KIDS SCREAM)
- Sorry. This road is so curvy.

Ugh, I can't believe
we're actually going

to that punk Lorraine Parcone's house.

And possibly to a soft serve
drive-through on the way? Eh?

Aunt Gayle, you and Mom
still get pretty frothy

about the whole forking thing, huh?

It started with the forking.

Then there was the
recipe theft, of course,

but the bad blood's been passed down

from generation to generation.

- You know about the wedding incident?
- KIDS: No.

It was my mother and father's wedding...

Your grandparents...
And my Grandma Claudia

made them invite everyone
to try to make peace.


It was a disaster.

Lorraine Parcone wore white.

I mean, I think it was
a full wedding dress.


- Poor Grandma Gloria.
- Well, she got Lorraine back.

Literally. She poured
punch down her back,

and then she punched her in the back.

I hear it was a beautiful wedding.

Sounds lovely.

Well, you know me, Aunt Gayle.
I love a good family feud.

But today, the plan is
to put all that aside.

Tomorrow, you can go back
to feuding it up. Okay?

Yeah, do it for Mom. It's Mother's Day.

I mean, she's not your mother,
but she's a damn good woman.

Ugh, Mother's Day.

You know, it's actually been proven

that owning and taking care of cats

is , times harder than
being a mom to a human.

- Did your cats get you a present?
- Not yet.

Maybe they're just waiting
for the right moment

and tonight you're gonna find
like dead birds in your bed.

(GASPS) Can you imagine?

LINDA: Okay, you didn't
like the wacky broom idea


where the cards were
the end of the wacky broom.

- Nope.
- You didn't like the giant eyebrow idea

where the cards were a
giant eyebrow over an eye.

- Terrifying.
- But what about this?

I present to you long hair lady.

- (GROANS) That hair is long.
- You like it?

I like it. I just think it's also bad.

Oh, I got one. I just thought of one.

All right, hang on. I'm coming around.

(BOB PANTING)

Okay, okay. Grabbing the chalk.

Uh, you could make all the
cards look like an accordion.

So it's like an accordion lady.

A lady who plays the accordion?

No, kind of like a lady
who is an accordion.


- Oh.
- Huh.

Came all the way out here
to do that, huh? (CHUCKLES)

Yeah. Oh, the burger's burning.

I mean, not burning. It-It's perfect.

I'm just gonna, uh, run back
and see how perfect it is.

(BOB PANTING)

LOUISE: Remember, everyone,

no matter how awful
this Lorraine lady is,

we got to stick to the
plan... k*ll her with kindness.

- I heard "k*ll."
- No, no, no. Kindness.

Right. But also, what
if we just start, like,

a little tiny fire in her house?

- Aunt Gayle, no.
- Oh, hi.

Uh, we are looking
for a Lorraine Parcone.

Would the Lorraine of the house be home?

She is not. But I am her son.

I'm Nico. Uh, who are all of you?

Oh, I'm Louise.

This is my brother
Gene and my sister Tina.

And we're... (IMITATES
DRUMROLL) your cousins!

Well, third cousins. I think.

- So we're totally fine to marry.
- And we're not enemies at all.

Oh. Okay, great.

And you must be their
mom-slash-also my cousin?

- Happy Mother's Day.
- Oh, right.

I-I am their mother. Yes.

That is what I am.

I'm Linda, the homelier one.

Gayle, my sister, is a trial lawyer

and a model for a bikini corporation.

Okay. Well, come on in.

My mom should be back soon.
She went out to pick up some groceries.

That's a fun Mother's Day errand.

So, what brings you all here today?

Such a good question.

We were in the area
and thought we'd drop by

and meet some cousins and just visit.

- We don't want anything from you!
- So, how are we related exactly?

You're not from my
great-great-uncle Tony's

side of the family, are you?

(NERVOUS CHUCKLING)

Is what my mother would
ask if she were here.

But I don't care. I'm just
glad to meet some cousins.

Can I call you "cuz"?
Everybody okay with "cuz"?

Abso-cuz-lutely. Hey, you
don't have a few minutes

to bust out the photo
albums or, I don't know,

old family recipes and just sit
around and get into it, do you?

Well, the paint's got to dry
on my Buckaroo Banzai figurine.

Buckaroo Banzai? Buckaroo Banzai? No?

Uh, I'll tell you about it. Let's go.

(QUIETLY): You guys, this is gonna be

easier than I thought, but
we have to get the recipe

before Lorraine gets home.

Aunt Gayle, why did you
say you were our mom?

I don't know. It just came out.

But hold my hand and call me
Mom and let me give you advice.

You should part your hair in the middle.

- No, I don't want to do that.
- You're grounded.

Okay, here we go.

It's a lady with long
hair driving a race car.

Looks like she's in a bathtub.

- Does your mom like race cars?
- Everyone likes race cars.

Everyone likes baths. It
could just be a bathtub.

Or she could have no tattoo there,

which was my original present!

Hey, speaking of Mother's Day presents,

the kids have been gone for a while.
Are you really not gonna tell me

where Gayle took them
to get my gift? Come on!

I'm not gonna tell you. It's a surprise.

(GASPS) Is it Vermont?

- What?
- Did they drive up to Vermont

to get me a blanket?

I bet Vermont has great blankets.

(CHUCKLES) That... No.

I can tell you that
they're not doing that.

Now I know it's not a
blanket. Good job, Bob.

Okay, I went with the bathtub thing.

- I gave her a bar of soap.
- Why does the bathtub have wheels?

'Cause it was a race car!

NICO: And here's my grandpa Joey again.

- This is when he started sitting a lot.
- Wow. I love these pictures.

But do you know what I also love?

WRITTEN STUFF: letters, laundry lists,

lists of ingredients or something.

Ooh, there's another
album. I know where it is.

I think there are a couple of pictures

of Grandpa Joey standing in that one.

We got to find that
recipe and get out of here.

I'm gonna move that stool over
and check on top of the fridge.

I see some cookbooks.

Tina, help me. Gayle,
what are you doing?

I'm gonna scratch Joey's eyes out.

- Nope, nope.
- Don't talk to your mother that way.

Ooh, recipe box. Recipe box.

Flipping through.

- Wait. Lasagna.
- We're not looking for lasagne.

- Maybe it's looking for us.
- He's coming back.

- Give it to me.
- No, no, no.

Well, look at that. I can
move this stool. (CHUCKLES)


- Oh, hey, cuz.
- Look what I got.

Ooh, I think Mom's home.

- Oh, no.
- Do I look like I've

- been trying to find a job?
- So much.

Nico, who's in my spot? Ugly little car.

Crap, crap, crap. What do we do?

Ah. Who are you people?

Run! I mean, hey, you.

- Wait, who are they?
- They're our cousins.

Yeah, Gene, Tina and me, Louise.

And Linda. We were just headed out.

Yup, we're taking our mom to get washed.

- A brunch and wash.
- I'm filthy.

Nico, you have been
nothing but delightful.

Lorraine, incredible to meet you.

- Are we hugging? I can't tell.
- Wait.

Did you say your name was Linda?

Yes. And these are my
three beautiful children

that I home-birthed while watching TV

because birth isn't as hard as
people are always saying it is.

(GASPS) So you're Gloria's daughter?

I am. And that's really true.

- Nico, do you realize what you've done?
- Uh, no.

You've let the foxes into the henhouse.

You've invited the blood of Tonys

- into this house of the blood of Joeys!
- Ah!

So, we know there's some
history in our family,

but we swear, we come in peace.

The same way Tony
came to dinner in peace

all those years ago and
forked my grandfather?

The same way your Grandma
Gloria came in peace

when she poured punch down my back

at her wedding and then punched me?

Well, we should go move that ugly car.

You're not leaving. Why'd you come here?

- What did you do?
- (SIGHS) Here's the thing.

We actually came here to say

- we think your side is right.
- What?

- What? Ow.
- Yeah.

That's why we're really here.

To tell you that our side of the family

is dumb and stabby and bad.

- Really?
- Okay.

Really. Right, guys?


It's not easy being a Tony.

Oh, man, yeah. "Be a Tony," they said.

"It'll be easy," they said.

- Well, it's not!
- Yeah, it's the worst. Ugh!

Even our, uh, mom agrees. Right, Mommy?

- Yes, I do.
- Well, you're right. They're the worst.

But I guess it's not your
fault you come from garbage.

(GAYLE GROWLS)

Hey, I got a rotisserie
chicken for Nico.

Uh, he eats so many chickens.

And I have Sprite. You like Sprite?

You want to stay for some
Sprite and some chicken? Huh?

Oh, we should really get going.

- It's Sprite and chicken time, baby!
- Gene.

Mom, do we really have
to give them my chicken?

Yes, Nico! You're sharing your chicken.

- (PHONE CHIMES)
- TEDDY: Oh, that's Mom.


She said she's sorry it
took so long to respond.

She was at an estate sale

and she got some really
good Rollerblades.

Oh! She likes the
long hair bathtub lady.

- Okay. With the wheels?
- (PHONE CHIMES)

Wait. She said she needs
to "see it on skin."

Mom, just draw it right on your thigh.

- (PHONE CHIMES)
- She says she can't.

- She's rollerblading.
- Ooh, Teddy.

We draw it on your
thigh and send a picture.

My thighs are just a tiny
bit hairier than my mom's.

Okay. So we do it on your
back and pretend it's a thigh?

- Eh, I-I-I don't know.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Take your shirt off.
- Okay.

H-He'll-He'll put his shirt back
on soon. Enjoy your burger.

Sorry it's not home-cooked.

And it's not that warm
and the soda's not cold.

I'll never eat chicken any other way.

I can't believe you
gave them the drumsticks.

Hush! Guests get the drumsticks!

Well, that was delicious.

Got to save some room for
brunch, though. Right, everybody?

Yes, let's leave. I'll
take my fanny pack.

- I'll take my chicken.
- Okay, bye.

No, no. Don't go yet.
We're having such a nice visit,

and you were gonna say bad stuff
about your grandparents. Sit, sit, sit.

- Okay.
- Sure.

Can someone please pass the chicken?

So, Grandma Gloria. Yuck, right?

- Oh, yuck. Yeah.
- Ugh. The worst.

- Right, Mom?
- GAYLE: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I didn't have another
dress to wear to her wedding,

so I wore my wedding dress,
and somehow I'm the bad guy?

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Linda, have some chicken.

- I don't want chicken.
- I'll have some chicken.

Ah! And that voice.
Everyone on that side.

Linda, you are lucky you didn't get it.

- Mm-hmm.
- Have some chicken.

- I'd like the chicken.
- Ah, those people make me sick.

Linda, seriously, have some chicken.

- You don't like chicken?
- Fine, I'll get it myself.

All right, I'll have some chicken!

- Ow!
- (GASPS)

Did you just s*ab my
sweet baby boy Nico?

- It was an accident.
- I just wanted some chicken.

- Okay, gosh, look at the time.
- Bye-bye.

Oh, I dropped my fork that I
didn't s*ab you on purpose with.

I'll pick it up.

- LOUISE: Oh, no.
- GENE: Uh-oh. - TINA: Oh, God.

Wait! Is that my recipe box?

- You stole my recipes?
- You can't prove anything.

Well, this has just been delightful.

Of course you Tonys come in our home,

fork my boy and try to steal my recipes.

- They ate my drumsticks.
- Okay, yes, we did all of those things.

No matter how much we
told someone to be cool.

It was an accident, sort of.

But, listen, we wanted to give our mom

something special for Mother's Day.

- The brunch and wash?
- No, the recipe

for her great-grandma
Maria's Bolognese sauce.

And that's the whole truth.

- Well, she's also not our mom.
- Right. Good point.

I'm Linda's brilliant sister Gayle.

So now that's the whole truth.

Also, I haven't brushed my
teeth in four weeks. There, that's it!

Why would you think I
would have that recipe?

Because you're no-good Joeys?

We don't have it. The Tonys do.

One of you took it when
you were going through

Grandma Maria's stuff in her
basement after she passed.

And you won't share it with us!

- Liar!
- Ugh, now I'm hearing

Gloria's voice in there. (GROANS)

Lorraine, our family doesn't
have the recipe. We swear.

It's why we came all the
way to your house today.

And to hang with this guy. Am I right?

We just wanted to do it
for our mom... our real mom.

She said that sauce reminds
her of her Grandma Claudia,

who she was missing today,

and she said she wished
she could taste it again.

Huh. All these years,
Tony's side thought

Joey's side had it, and Joey's
side thought Tony's side had it.

And after the totally understandable

- wedding dress incident...
- I mean...

... no one's talking to each other.

And we all think the other
side is having Nana Maria's

incredible Bolognese
for dinner every night.

But no one was Bolog-nosey enough

to come after the recipe until us.

The rest of Nana's stuff went
off on a truck to Goodwill.

Some stranger's making
great sauce right now.

- And Tina's making another card.
- Damn it.

LINDA: I really think it came out great.

Y-You know you can put
your shirt back on, right?

Uh, I just want to let
the tat breathe a little.

- It's still pretty raw.
- It's pen, Teddy.

Yeah, but she pressed really hard.

- (PHONE CHIMES)
- Oh, here we go.

Mom says, "On second thought,
I don't think it works."

- Crap.
- I guess it's back to

paying to have her tattoo removed.

I might have to sell my
truck, but that's okay.

I can bike my tools and
ladders around. Or scooter.

Wait. Teddy, this is crazy.

Your mom loved gin rummy enough

to get a tattoo of it on
her upper, upper thigh.

Well, do you want to
know what's cheaper than

getting a tattoo removed?

Your mom calling her card buddies

and telling them she's sorry
for being such a rummy crumbum

that they kicked her out of the group.

You think she should
try to patch things up

- with the Rum Runners?
- Yes, Teddy, I do.

Funny, coming from the
lady with the family feud

that's three generations long.

- It's Mother's Day. Shush.
- Yup. Sorry.

I'm gonna call her.

Ma?! What?!

- Teddy, you're shouting.
- Ma?!

- I can't...
- Teddy.

Bob, I'm gonna take this outside.

It's too loud in here.

- Ma?! Ma?!
- Ooh, there they are.

- Hey, kids. Ma?!
- Hi, Gayle.

Does some lucky mom have a
sweet Mother's Day present

coming her way?

We wanted to get you
something really special,

but we kind of failed.

Turns out we weren't too big to fail.

Wait, what were you
kids trying to get me?

Your great-grandmother's
Bolognese recipe

that Grandma Claudia
used to make for you.

Oh, my God! I'm gonna cry. (SOBS)

That's so sweet. (SNIFFLES)

Oh, snot's coming
out. Snot's coming out.

How would you even get that?

Aunt Gayle took us to your
cousin Lorraine's house.

- What?
- In my car that I know how to drive.

- She wouldn't give you the recipe, huh?
- TINA: No.

She couldn't give us the recipe because

she doesn't have the
recipe. No one does.

Wait, what? Wh-What do you mean?

Great-Uncle Joey never had it.

They thought our side
of the family took it.

Wait, so the Joeys
aren't recipe stealers?

- It's just gone?
- It's sauced in translation.

And you know what? I'm just
gonna say it. This feud is dumb.

Somebody bought a house, and
then somebody forked somebody,

like, forever ago, and everyone
should just get over it.

People get forked every day
and move on with their lives.

I forked Nico today.

I mean, what... We're
supposed to be the idiot kids.

Why do we have to
tell you all this crap?

Yeah, Mom, grow up! Uh, sorry.

Wow. Don't really like
that smart-mouth attitude,

but maybe you're right.

Maybe it's time to start
putting feuds behind us.

Gin rummy feuds, family feuds...

Yeah, I was kind of the one
who pointed that out earlier.

- It's Mother's Day!
- (DOOR OPENS)

Well, she wasn't crazy
about the apology idea,

but she said maybe she'll hold off

on getting the tattoo removed.

She told me to just
take her some place nice

for a baked potato and
then call it a Mother's Day.

Ooh, baked potato.

Well, we're sorry we couldn't get you

your family's sauce recipe.

But we made you this
card on the way home.

It says "Moth-er's Day,"
and I drew you as a moth.

That'd be a good tattoo.

Aw. You kids are incredible,

and you acted so grown-up today.

Trying to end a bitter family feud.

And I made you that way, so I'm,
like, the best mom in the world.

Now come here, my little
babies. I love you so much.

Hey, maybe we should
have Lorraine and Nico

over for dinner sometime.

- We owe him some chicken.
- Okay, fine.

- But then we can prank them.
- Yeah.

I'll hide a fork in my sock.

Fork both of them when
they're not looking,

- as a fun joke.
- Yeah, yeah.

GENE: Never cross these women!

♪ Floppy waffles ♪

♪ Floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy ♪

(SPUTTERS LIPS)

♪ Mother's Day in the kitchen ♪

♪ Things are getting sloppy ♪

♪ Oh, my, check it out ♪

♪ It's gonna make
you scream and shout ♪


♪ Your waffles are pretty floppy ♪

♪ Floppy waffles ♪

♪ Floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy ♪

(SPUTTERS LIPS)

- ♪ Floppy waffles ♪
- ♪ Floppy waffles... ♪


♪ Floppy waffles falafels ♪

♪ Floppy, floppy, floppy,
floppy, floppy, floppy ♪


♪ Floppy waffles, floppy waffles ♪

♪ Flippity flop, flop,
floppity flop, flop, flop ♪


(STAMMERS) ♪ Waffles. ♪

Huh, fell on the floor.
Ah, I'm still eating it.
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